Operation: Mariposa
by Scarlet Fever
Summary: Seifer/Squall slash! Rated M for Graphic language, violence, sexual content and drug/alcohol use. What do you do when your whole world turns against you? Been a while since I posted a fic on here! Work In Progress!
1. Chapter 1

****

Operation: Mariposa

Chapter 01

Squall looked around the office with the feeling like a man who had just fallen overboard into an angry ocean. An office already? He didn't want an office, but nobody wanted to listen when he protested. They'd just smiled and clapped him on the shoulder, not even waiting for his wounds from his battle with Ultimecia to heal. He flopped in the chair behind the desk, already deeply loathing this room. It was so... authoritative. A role he hated, but one that he was already being shoehorned into. He could see it in Cid's eyes when he'd been given the keys to this room. The expectation of great things.

He put his forehead down on the gleaming oak surface, closing his sea blue eyes wearily. His whole body ached, and he was sure the gash healing on his ribcage would leave a permanent scar. It was nice to have a moment to himself. While he cared about everyone else, right now he just wanted to listen to the silence, to the distant sound of the Balamb Ocean, and the seagulls cawing. He wanted to mull over the staggering fact that Laguna Loire was his father, without everyone asking him a million questions about how their meeting in Esthar had gone before they'd all come back to Garden.

__

Squall... there's no easy way to say this. Uh, well... here goes. I'm... I'm kind of, well... I'm your father.

Squall had pictured what his father might be like a million times through his life, and Laguna wasn't what he had in mind. He'd always pictured someone more... like himself, and less of a goof. A man who didn't get leg cramps when he got nervous. A man who hadn't fallen ass-backwards into every situation in his life.

__

Why didn't you come to find me?

It was a question that Squall longed to hear the answer to, but he hadn't been able to ask, sitting there across Laguna's desk from this man who was suddenly his father. It had been on the tip of his tongue when Laguna had gingerly pushed a photograph towards him, reading his face intently. Hungrily, like he wanted to memorize everything about Squall's features.

__

Why did you leave her?

Squall already knew the answer to that one from what Ellone had shown him of the past, but he still had wanted to ask it as he looked at Raine. His mother, with her face exactly like his own, so much so that it burned his throat with hidden emotion.

"An office already? They're really trying to squeeze you into that mould, aren't they?"

Squall snapped up into a sitting position in surprise, wincing because the quick motion wrenched a sore muscle in his neck. Seifer was standing in the doorway, an amused smirk on his handsome face. But, that smirk didn't quite mask the utter exhaustion etched in his features. And, the defeat. He looked as tired as Squall felt.

"I just came to say goodbye."

"You're leaving?" Squall asked, gesturing for Seifer to come into the barely furnished room.

Seifer did so, quietly snapping the door shut behind him. Maybe people thought that Squall would be scared to be in a closed room, alone with Seifer Almasy after all that happened, or that he would be furious with the other man for trying to kill him, and trying to kill his friends. And Rinoa. But, he wasn't. He was briefly surprised that he felt none of those things, looking into Seifer's familiar cat green eyes. Of course, this internal musing didn't register on his finely boned features as he looked at Seifer expectantly.

"You didn't think I'd stay, did you?" Seifer asked, the amusement draining from his voice until he sounded hollow and bitter. "After what I've done?"

"It wasn't your fault."

"I... still... feel like I should... apologize," Seifer ground out, as if each word was causing him great internal pain. Apologies did _not_ come easily to him. "For the whole... torturing you and trying to kill you... thing."

"And, for this?" He asked, touching his index finger to the scar on his forehead, mirrored on Seifer's own.

Seifer just mumbled incoherently.

" ...Whatever. You never needed my forgiveness before, but... I'm not angry."

"I don't know if I believe that, but I appreciate it," Seifer muttered, crossing his arms. "Even though you sound insincere."

"I did?"

Seifer smirked again.

"You're making fun of me." Squall frowned deeply, his scarred forehead creasing.

"And besides, I _can't_ stay. I'm not allowed. I'm not SeeD, remember?"

Squall cocked his head, opening his mouth as if to speak, but nothing came out. Seifer could see some sort of internal struggle going on in there, and waited patiently to see if anything was going to come out. He was far too used to Squall's inability to socialize properly.

"About that... I guess... thank you," he said abruptly, gloved hands folded on the desk. "We never would have graduated if you hadn't disobeyed orders."

"Oh..." Seifer cocked his head, looking at Squall seriously. "That's very sweet, and yet way to pour salt in my wounds, Squall."

"That wasn't my intention."

"I know, I know." Seifer waved a hand. "I really just came to say goodbye. I don't know... I felt I owed it to you to not sneak off into the night."

"Where will you go?" He asked, slowly rising from the chair and coming to stand in front of the other man.

Seifer shrugged a broad shoulder. "I dunno. I'll figure something out. I always do." He gave his trademark smile, but it was strained around the edges. "Raijin said something about going to Balamb Town, so I guess I'll tag along." Seifer gave a quick, sarcastic bow at the shoulders. "So, I guess this is the end of our so-called rivalry, Sir." He rose to his full, impressive height. "Even though I never really considered it much of a rivalry."

"Me neither."

"Did you just almost smile, Leonhart?" Seifer asked teasingly. "I guess Rinoa really is a drastic influence on you. Well, okay then..." Seifer sounded uncharacteristically awkward as he stuck his hand out.

Squall looked down at the offered hand, gloved in black leather like his own. It was alien to see Seifer stripped of all his bravado. He was one of the few people who'd seen Seifer in moments of vulnerability, but it was still unnerving. It didn't fit with the status quo.

"You do know how to shake hands, right?" Seifer asked, watching as Squall looked at his hand like he'd never seen one before.

Squall stuck his hand out and stiffly completed the handshake. Seifer's fingers closed around his hand firmly, and Squall knew that if Seifer wanted to, he could break every bone in his hand. It took _a lot_ of physical strength to hold a gunblade the way Seifer did.

"Maybe we'll see each other again sometime," Squall said gravely.

"This isn't a funeral, Leonhart. I'm sure Matron will plan some sort of reunion supper that she'll wrangle us all into attending. It's a small world."

"Yeah..."

They looked into each other's eyes with complete familiarity. They knew each other probably better than anyone else did. Then, it happened. Their gazes held just for a heartbeat too long. If they'd broken the handshake and said their final goodbyes, perhaps they wouldn't have suddenly been all over each other, mouths fused together passionately. Later, in the endless moments both men would spend thinking about how and why it happened, neither would be able to figure out who exactly started the kiss, whose hands exactly had started roaming over the other's body.

Squall's ass hit the edge of the desk as Seifer almost violently caught him up in a tight embrace, tongue delving into Squall's mouth, exploring as thoroughly as Squall's was within Seifer's mouth. Squall's gloved hands cupped the sides of Seifer's face, then moved into his short blonde hair, then stroked his neck and shoulders. He wound his thighs around Seifer's hips, practically eating his mouth His small moans were muffled by the other man's mouth and tongue, and he slowly rocked his hips to create friction, all the blood moving through his veins at lightning speed, mostly towards his genitals. When Seifer's mouth began to pull away from the kiss, Squall chased it down again, only vaguely aware of the utter insanity of this situation. But, that was just a distant buzzing in the back of his mind, pushed into obscurity by the lust that was consuming him. He didn't care about the strangeness of kissing Seifer Almasy of all people, but how right it felt, how he wanted more, wanted it to go further. Seifer's mouth again began to pull away from his own, but Squall caught it again, not so gently tugging on Seifer's lower lip with his teeth.

Seifer was finally successful in breaking the kiss, even though most of him didn't want to. His whole body ached for more contact, and protested against his judgement. He pushed against Squall's shoulders, looking at his face with shock. His blue eyes were alight with desire, and his hair had become messed up in a way that made Seifer's will falter. Squall again came closer to him, and he took a giant step backwards on wobbling legs. Only their heavy breathing could be heard in the silence of the near empty office. Seifer blinked his pale green eyes and looked at Squall as if he'd never seen him before, and then turned and left the office, his steps jagged and shaky, closing the door behind him.

Squall looked at the closed door, his heart beating loudly in his ribcage. He had to stay leaning against the desk, because he knew his legs couldn't support his weight, his cock so hard it was painful. He pursed his lips together, still able to taste Seifer's saliva. What just _happened_?! He tried to calm his breathing and will away his erection, but he kept thinking about the feeling of Seifer's hands all over him, and the friction of their bodies, and the greenness of his eyes. He shook his head violently to rid his mind of the images, running a badly shaking hand through his bangs.

Squall was one of the few people (probably the only one outside of Fujin and Raijin) that knew Seifer was a homosexual, and he briefly tried to blame the kiss on that fact. Seifer had forced it. But, Squall knew that was a complete lie. Seifer was the one who stopped, and if he hadn't Squall slammed his eyes shut, guilt starting to gnaw at him. If Seifer _hadn't_ stopped, Squall wouldn't have. He'd _wanted_ to go further. He would have had sex with Seifer right then and there. He knew that, and he despised himself for it. What about Rinoa?! He'd kissed Seifer before he'd even kissed her.

There was the sound of footsteps outside the office door, which startled Squall, and made his already rapidly beating heart slam painfully against his breastbone. He tried to picture unappealing things to make his erection vanish, but it was being stubborn, so he had to stumbled around his desk, and sunk into the chair as the door was swung open.

Xu was standing there, carrying a box in her arms, full of personal belongings. She faltered when she saw Squall sitting behind the desk, and looked at him in surprise. "Oh! Wh... what are you doing in here?" Xu asked, her slanted, almond-shaped eyes full of confusion.

"Cid gave me this office," he answered, hoping that his voice sounded neutral.

"But... I thought he was giving it to me." Xu frowned deeply. "I guess there must have been some mix-up." She laughed. "I guess I better go find out. I think a box of my stuff was already brought in here, though." She looked at the small stack of taped-up boxes. Her own must have gotten mingled with Squall's things.

"I'll check."

"Thanks!" She called over her shoulder, trudging off to find Cid, hitching the box up in her arms. "Hi there, Rinoa!" Squall heard Xu call from the hallway. His face suddenly felt like it was on fire, and when she was standing in the doorway, smiling shyly and beautifully at him, he hated himself.

"An office already?" She commented, making Squall's stomach swoop with guilt and the memory of what happened the last time someone else had said those exact three words. She clasped her hands at the small of her back, and stepped into the room, twirling on the spot so she could get a good look at it. "I hope you won't keep it this barren, though knowing you..." She trailed off with a wink. "Are you okay, Squall?" She asked, suddenly serious. She came to stand beside his chair, and put a small and warm hand on his shoulder. "You look really pale."

He looked at her face for a long time, studying her heart-shaped mouth and her deep, warm brown eyes. He felt the gentle weight of her hand, getting lost in the coffee brown of her irises, even as he started to think of eyes of clear peridot green. He reached up, leather jacket creaking, and covered Rinoa's hand with his own. "Just tired," he lied. How could he tell her that he'd kissed Seifer? He couldn't. It would break her heart, and he wasn't even sure why he'd done it. He couldn't be this close to her, and tell her something like _that._

"I can imagine," she murmured sympathetically. "But, you're due for a nice, long vacation, right?" She leaned in, and he smelled the mixture of her perfume and shampoo. It smelled like roses. "Lots of time for rest and... relaxation, huh?" She gave him a saucy wink, and smiled brightly, which he returned only half-heartedly.

"Look... are you _sure_ you're okay? I know... I know that you and Seifer were talking. Did he say anything to upset you?"

Squall opened his mouth to answer, but what could he say? _No, he said goodbye, and then he gave me an incredible kiss, and I'm still rock-hard from it and I totally wanted him to fuck me, and still kind of want it. But, other than that, everything's fantastic._ "No. He just said goodbye." The lie tasted like ashes on his tongue. He wouldn't tell her and break her angelic heart because there was nothing to tell. It's not like it would ever happen again. He didn't even know if he would see Seifer anymore. "I wasn't angry," he admitted, at least telling the truth about something.

"No..." She folded her hands in her lap, and stared into space thoughtfully. "No, me neither. You figure I should be, and that you have every right to be. But, I guess it's the same as with Edea, right?"

"Right," he echoed stupidly. The sun was coming in the window behind them, and caught the caramel-coloured streaks in Rinoa's raven hair. She smiled when she caught Squall staring at her. He looked away, and she laughed.

"It's okay to check me out if you want to."

He opened his mouth to protest, feeling a flush creeping up his neck, but then closed his lips when he saw Rinoa's eyes dancing with affectionate teasing. Looking at her like this, he forgot about the kiss with Seifer, and just thought of what it felt like to be in Rinoa's company. She put a hand on his shoulder again, then slowly stroked his hair, giving him a meaningful smile that was meant only for him. She suddenly felt somewhat shy in his presence, and moved away from the desk, and from the intensity of his gaze. She cared about Squall deeply, but the thought of kissing him, or doing... _other things_, made her nervous just now.

"You want me to help you unpack?" She asked, feeling a little breathless as she went over to the stack of boxes. The one on the top of the pile felt heavy. "Oof," she grunted, lifting it.

"Don't..." Squall trailed off. "You could hurt yourself."

"If a time-travelling Sorceress couldn't do me in, I don't think a box of... something, will." She ripped the tape off. "Books! Yeah, I think I'm safe from them." She tucked a lock of highlighted hair behind her ear, and ran her fingers across the spines of the volumes. Atlases and reference books. Nothing for pleasurable reading. What kind of novels would Squall enjoy, she wondered as she looked at him. She pulled the tape off the top seam of the next box, thinking. Actually, she couldn't picture Squall reading for fun. In fact... what _did_ he do for fun?

"Butterflies?" She asked in confusion, taking a display frame out of the second box, and holding it up. Inside were half a dozen dead butterflies, wings pinned out to display them. Each had a small label underneath to show what species they were. "That's what you do for fun?" She asked. Collecting butterflies wasn't what would have been at the top of her list for her new boyfriend. Boyfriend the thought made her smile internally.

"Huh?" Squall looked at the frame that Rinoa was holding up. "Those aren't mine."

"You can admit it," she chided. "It's okay to appreciate butterflies."

"I'm serious."

"When are you not serious?" She grinned at the put-out look on his face, and gently nudged his shoulder with open palms, then leaned into him, wrapping her arms around his waist. Despite his icy countenance, Squall's body was very warm, and Rinoa felt a liquid heat move through her limbs.

"Oh... they must be Xu's," Squall realized. "She came in earlier, and said that a box of her stuff might be here." Squall rested his chin on the top of Rinoa's head, breathing in the rosewater scent of her tresses. He then kissed her there, and felt her sigh against him.

Rinoa was still looking at the butterflies, dead and displayed within the frame. The box was full of similar frames, folded in bubble-wrap to protect the glass. "They're pretty," she commented, watching as the light from the window played on the iridescent blue and aqua wings of a butterfly labelled '_Menelaus Blue Morpho'_. "But, they'd be prettier if they were still alive, flying around free."

"Mmm," he commented distantly, closing his eyes wearily as he felt her fingers move up and down the small of his back. He tried not to think of Seifer's much stronger hands trailing there, more animalistic and lustful than Rinoa's caring caress.

"So, if you don't collect butterflies, what _do_ you do for fun, Squall Leonhart? I haven't been able to figure that one out yet. I guess I'm not an 'expert Squall reader' yet. Not like Quistis."

"Training's fun," he mumbled into her hair, being completely serious.

"That's not a hobby," she said, moving her head so she could look up at his face.

"Whatever."

"I guess it will be up to me to think of fun things we can do."

Squall raised an eyebrow in a way that was very male, and it made her blush deeply. He then leaned in and kissed her cheek, very close to the corner of her lips. Were they as soft as they looked? He could taste the gloss she used, and it tasted fruity, like watermelon. Rinoa became very still in his arms, looking into his pale blue eyes. She didn't push away when his mouth came closer, and landed on top of hers. But, even as he kissed her for the first time, he thought of kissing Seifer. Two first kisses within a half-hour of each other, and yet both so different. And, _why_ was he thinking of some freak blip in time while he was finally kissing the girl he'd risked everything for? But, the more he tried to shut Seifer out of his mind, and the taste of his lips and the feel of his hard body pressed against Squall's, the harder it was for him to forget.

When their lips broke apart, Rinoa smiled shyly and looked up at him. "Our first kiss, huh?" She played with the zipper of his coat, the leather creaking as she held him tighter. "It was okay, I guess." She winked, and then rested her cheek on his shoulder. Squall looked out the window, loving the closeness of Rinoa and the roses smell of her hair. And yet, as he looked at the dimming sunlight, he wondered if Seifer was still thinking about what happened between them, too.

"Jeez, Squall. This isn't a very functional office if all your stuff is in boxes," Quistis commented with a roll of her dazzling sapphire eyes. She crouched beside the pile that hadn't been touched since the afternoon that he and Rinoa had shared their first kiss. "I know you had some atlases on Northern Trabia in here somewhere..."

---

After a brief two-week vacation, things were starting to get back to normal. Cid had given Xu more control over doling out assignments to the SeeD, alleviating himself of some of his duties so he could have more time with his wife. Xu was sending Quistis and Squall to a small lumber community about an hour's travelling north of Trabia Garden because of some lumber poaching that was affecting legitimate timber sales, and causing a dip in the already endangered population of Trabian Wolves.

Squall was staring off into space as she neatly pulled books out of the boxes, looking for the correct one. "No," she muttered to herself. "Where are you?" She flipped some of her blonde hair over a shoulder and looked at him. "Squall?"

No response.

"Squall?" She asked again, snapping her fingers. "Hey!"

"Huh?" He asked, snapping out of it.

"Do you remember which box the atlas is in?" Quistis asked, pushing her eyeglasses up the bridge of her nose.

"No."

"Thanks for the help," she muttered sarcastically, putting the books back lovingly, then opening another box. "I hope you're not this distracted when we're chasing after sneaky poachers who are armed with lots of chainsaws."

"Mmm."

"Ah-ha!" She exclaimed when she found the book. "Found it."

"Mmm."

"What's wrong?" She asked, sitting down across the desk from him. "You're even more distracted than usual." She cocked her head, and suddenly became serious. "Is it Rinoa?" She asked, voice lowering.

"Huh?"

"Rinoa. Your girlfriend. Remember?"

"What?"

Quistis just shook her head and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Never mind. Here." She opened the atlas and put it on the desk. "We never really visited this part of Trabia, so we should familiarize ourselves with the terrain before tonight."

"Yeah."

Quistis just stared at Squall for a few minutes more, wondering what had made him so distant. It's not like she ever would have guessed the real reason - that Squall was thinking about Seifer. Again. But, he wasn't thinking about the kiss, or the heat of his body. He was wondering what Seifer was going to do with the rest of his life. Squall just couldn't imagine Seifer getting some kind of regular job. And, he didn't have any family, so where would he live? Squall imagined Deling City or Dollet. Squall got a mental image of Seifer, ever proud and haughty, serving fast food at some junk dive restaurant, wearing a ridiculous striped shirt uniform with a small matching hat. He couldn't help but laugh quietly to himself, and sobered up immediately when he looked across the desk to see Quistis staring at him with narrowed eyes.

"Did you hit your head?"

He frowned at her, pulling the atlas closer to himself. "Stop it," he snapped when he could feel her eyes drilling into him.

"Okay, fine." Her pouty lips turned up into a sly grin. "I'll stop. But, we have a whole trip to Trabia where I can figure out why you're acting like you just got a lobotomy. Aaaannnd, we do have that layover in Dollet while we wait for the ferry."

"Whatever."

"I guess I shouldn't tease you," she said, jotting down some notes on a pad. "You're going to be separated from Rinoa for an undetermined amount of time so early in your relationship. That's a lot of sex to miss out on."

"Quistis!" Squall snapped, an embarrassed flush coming to his cheeks.

"All right, all right." She grinned once more at Squall's ever-present deep frown, and then they settled into an industrious silence.

After a while, Quistis looked at her pewter wristwatch. "We should probably get going. The train leaves in a couple of hours." She stood up, collecting her notes, and picking up the atlas. "You _did_ remember to pack, right?"

"Yes."

"Rinoa did it for you, didn't she?"

"... yes," he muttered, standing up.

"Meet you in the garage in twenty minutes?" She asked, briskly walking out of the room, off to collect her luggage.

"Hey, Quisty!" A voice called as she walked down the hall towards the elevator.

Quistis spun around on the spot, looking for the source of her name. Xu was jogging after her, and Quistis smiled when she saw her friend.

"You heading out now?" Xu asked as they got into the elevator together.

"Yeah, just gotta get my luggage."

"You don't feel bad that I stuck you with Squall, do you?" Xu asked, clutching a thick leather ledger in front of her as they descended, papers sticking out from within it. "I figured you two would work best together long-term."

"Oh, no. It's fine, I love Squall."

Xu raised her eyebrows and chuckled.

"Not like that!" Quistis exclaimed. "Well,,, not anymore."

Both women laughed as the elevator stopped, doors sliding open. "I never got to congratulate you, by the way," said the statuesque blonde. "Getting more responsibility, planning missions... I think these static partnerships are a great idea. It works for police officers, right?"

"We'll see." Xu smiled and waved as they came to the circular Garden lobby. She waved as she made her way towards the library, while Quistis continued towards the dorms. "When you come back, I'll kick your butt at Triple Triad!" Xu called after her friend.

"You wish!" Quistis waved over her shoulder. She, of course, had been packed since she'd been given the Trabia assignment, so was very ready, but found that Squall had actually gotten to the garage ahead of her, and was waiting beside the driver who'd be taking them to the train station. And he, _of course_, wasn't talkative, so the drive to Balamb was a quiet, uneventful one. But, she could see his irritation at being the passenger in a car rather than the driver, and it made her grin.

When they arrived in Balamb Town, it was past dusk, so the small town was pretty quiet, the shop fronts all closed up until morning. The sea could be heard lapping at the boardwalks as the porter parked the car and started shuffling Quistis and Squall's bags up towards the luggage checkpoint. Quistis dug around in her bag, and pulled out their tickets. As she handed one to him, the quiet evening was broken by the sound of Squall's cellular phone ringing.

"We just left!" Quistis exclaimed. "You didn't get a chance to say goodbye properly to Rinoa?"

Squall frowned at her and checked the caller ID, insides squirming.

"Must be nice," Quistis muttered with a touch of bitterness. After all, she didn't have anyone to call her just after they'd parted because he'd missed her so much. "You coming?"

Squall held up a finger and flipped open the phone, watching as Quistis walked up the stairs. "Hello," Squall greeted, wrestling to keep his voice neutral.

"How's the hero?" Seifer's voice drawled on the other end. "Mr. Estharian President Junior." The news that Laguna Loire had a long-lost son who just happened to be the SeeD that just saved the world was currently plastered all over every newspaper in the world.

"Don't," Squall warned. All the attention, and the whole subject period, was a sore spot for him.

"You aren't happy that you finally have a parent?"

"Where are you?" Squall deflected in hushed tones, slowly walking up the stairs into the train station.

"Deling City. Why are you whispering? Where are _you_?"

"Train station."

"A mission already?" Squall could hear some sort of traffic noise in the background. "Look I'm sure you can guess why I'm calling." Seifer's voice broke up a little, the line becoming crackly.

Squall opened his mouth to say something, but... what? "I figured," he finally settled on.

"I was thinking of calling... well, pretty much every day since..."

"You don't have to apologize," Squall blurted out.

"Who said I was going to?" Seifer asked coolly on the other end of the line. Quistis was waiting outside the train, looking at Squall expectantly. "Okay," Seifer added in a mutter. "I'd considered it, and maybe would have if it had been one-sided." Seifer's tone held knowing, because it had been impossible not to notice that Squall had been very aroused. It made his voice sound very masculine and sexual, and Squall turned away from Quistis, his body starting to react. "I'm more confused than apologetic." The line crackled again. Connections were much better since Adel was no longer interfering with communication satellites, but still had a lot to be desired.

"I don't know why," Squall answered truthfully.

"I'd always wondered if you were bi, or at least bi-curious. Maybe it's a little more than curiosity."

"I think..." Squall didn't know how to finish that sentence. He wasn't good at expressing his emotions, even with Seifer, the person he actually found it easiest to talk to. "We have a complex relationship."

"Uh-huh."

In Deling City, Seifer was leaning against a chain-link fence around a parking lot, standing away from a small group of people who were being driven to a construction site on the outskirts of the city, where some new housing units were being built. It was menial day-work, but Seifer was getting pretty desperate for money. Raijin was talking to a few of the other guys, already laughing and making friends with them, gesticulating wildly with his hands as he told a story that made them all laugh. Fujin stood beside him, but her eye kept glancing over to Seifer, as did many other eyes. Ultimecia's Knight doing day work? He could feel the cold stares, but it didn't bother him, especially not while listening to the familiarity of Squall's voice, thinking about how he looked. How he tasted.

"Are you going to tell Rinoa?" Seifer asked.

"No."

"Why not?" Seifer asked seriously.

"What would I say?"

"The truth. You care about her, right?"

"I love her."

"Well, good then. You shouldn't lie to someone you love." He kept his voice carefree, but Squall's declaration of love felt like a punch in the stomach. Seifer always felt strangely possessive of Squall, even when they'd fought and argued. And, it was kind of hard _not_ to be attracted to him. Seifer wasn't blind, and Squall was gorgeous. He wished he'd taken off his gloves during their kiss so he could have felt Squall's hair with his bare hands. He looked over, and saw that the caravan would be leaving. "Time to skedaddle. Careful out there, kiddo."

" ...yeah," Squall echoed dully on the other end of the line. Seifer snapped his phone shut, and put it in the pocket of the old pair of jeans he was wearing.

"OKAY?" Fujin asked as he approached them.

Seifer waved away her question, and climbed into one of the vans next to Raijin. "You know me," he said, seeing a couple of men whispering and obviously saying disparaging things about him. He smiled tightly. "I'm always fine."

---

Squall lowered his cold and sore body onto the supple leather bar stool in a rugged inn in the equally rugged logging community where they were staying during this mission. He and Quistis had spent the past two days traipsing across the unforgiving Trabian landscape, surveying the situation. She sat beside him, shivering in the depths of her parka.

"Squall, this sucks," he heard her disjointed voice mumble from inside her fur-lined hood.

"Hey!" The bartender exclaimed, looking at Squall's face when he lowered his hood. "Aren't you...?"

"Scotch."

"You're that SeeD, right? Laguna Loire's son!"

"Scotch."

"Squall, right? The one who's dating the new Sorceress!" The bartender exclaimed excitedly, eyes roving over Squall's scar.

"Scotch."

"Uh, okay... sure." The bartender looked at Squall in confusion, wondering why he was getting such a cold shoulder.

"Brandy please," came Quistis's voice from inside her coat.

When the drink was put down in front of Squall, he downed it in one shot, and tapped the bar with his finger, indicating he wanted more. The bartender's reaction to him being Laguna's son was one that he'd been getting a _lot_ here. Everyone knew him in Balamb Garden, and was used to him, but not here. Not on the train to Timber. Not on the other train to Dollet. Not on the boat ride here. Everyone pointed at him and whispered, or wanted his autograph or a picture.

__

Is Laguna as cool in real life as he seems on TV?

What's it like being the son of a President?

Was Ultimecia scary?

What's it like dating a Sorceress?

Are you and Sorceress Rinoa going to get married?

Squall was fucking sick of it. Quistis pushed back her hood and took a sip of her brandy, the alcohol warming her up. Someone up the bar saw her face and quietly asked for an autograph, which Quistis happily obliged with a winning smile. But, she wasn't getting questions _nearly_ as much as Squall was. He'd look at her enviously as she could continue walking while people crowded around _him_ and asked _him_ a bunch of moronic questions.

Quistis looked up from her brandy, and saw with surprise that Squall was already on his third drink. The bartender didn't seem to care that he was a few months shy of the legal drinking age. "I think today was pretty productive," she said, trying to be optimistic. They'd found a couple of abandoned camps being used by the logging poachers. They'd also sadly found a pair of Trabia wolf carcasses, skinned. Their beautiful white pelts were probably already on the black market.

"Whatever," he muttered, pounding back the fourth drink that the bartender put in front of him.

Quistis watched him with her head cocked. "What are you thinking?" She asked, sensing there was something wrong with him.

His body language became colder and angrier.

"Okay." She stood up with a shrug, and put some gil on the bar. "I'm going to get some rest. You coming?" When she got no response, she threw her hands up and trudged up the wooden stairs to the upper level where the rooms were. She and Squall were sharing a double room, something that would have sent Quistis into transports of delight only six months ago, but now didn't bother her in the slightest. It was surreal how fast her feelings of lust for Squall had turned into something completely sisterly.

Once in the room, Quistis shed her outdoor gear, and sat in a chair beside the small, and only, window in their room. She opened it only slightly, so she could hear what was going on outside. She could hear two men laughing raucously below, but other than that, it was silent. She'd drawn up maps with locations where the poachers had shown up, and used a pair of binoculars to check out the dense forests. Quistis had to squint because there wasn't much light, making it difficult to see. She put her mittens back on when the cool air coming from the open window started to chill her hands, but other than that, things were highly uneventful.

A few hours later, Squall came into the room, stumbling. He collapsed on the bed, and even from across the room, Quistis could smell booze. She could hear him quietly snoring as soon as his head hit the mattress. She went back to the binoculars, watching as two deer frolicked around amongst the trees, their white spots under their tails glowing in the moonlight. The deer suddenly went very still as if they sensed something Quistis couldn't. Then, they scattered, and a blue dragon came stomping out of the thicket, and then disappeared again, trying to chase after its much faster prey. She could hear the distant echo of its roar.

"Ah!" She exclaimed, the binoculars clanking against the lenses of her glasses as she jerked in surprise. Her quiet watch was interrupted by the shrill ringing of Squall's phone. He was out for the count, and didn't even move at the noise. The blonde sighed and went over to his bed, searching around in Squall's pockets for the phone as it continued to ring. She found it in his jacket, and saw the caller ID said 'Rinoa'. "Hello Miss Heartilly."

"Quistis?" Rinoa asked, voice full of confusion. Surprisingly, the phone connection was better out here in the wild, because of the lack of city interference. "Where's Squall?"

Quistis looked down at his prone form. "Sleeping," she replied with a touch of disapproval.

"Oh, no! I didn't call too late, did I?"

"Nah. We're just taking shifts watching the woods."

"I told myself that I wouldn't call him so soon after he was leaving, but I just wanted to hear his voice."

Quistis narrowed her cobalt eyes and looked over to Squall, the cogs of her mind turning. "I can tell him to call you back when he wakes up."

"No, no. That's okay. Besides, I'm about to go get some food, anyway. I'm starving. Mrs. Kramer's a bit of a slave-driver," she said laughingly. "She came by Garden yesterday to see the Headmaster, and she offered to help me out!"

"Well, that's good. Although, they'd probably cringe at being called the Headmaster and Mrs. Kramer. Sounds like some kind of accounting firm. She'll probably have you calling her Matron by the end of the week."

"I'm a little nervous," Rinoa admitted. "About... losing control of my magic."

"Matron will help you. I can wake Squall up if you really want to talk to him," offered Quistis, hearing the worry in the Rinoa's voice.

"No, it's okay. He's really cranky when he first wakes up, anyway."

"Oh-ho! I see..."

Though Quistis couldn't see Rinoa, she was quite sure the dark-haired girl was blushing fiercely. "You know what I meant..."

"I do now." Quistis started laughing while Rinoa made embarrassed shushing noises. "I guess I'll find out when I have to wake him up for his turn to watch."

"Just... can you tell him I called?" Rinoa asked.

"Of course."

"And, we'll have a knitting night when you get back, right? You promised you'd teach me how to bind off."

"I promise," Quistis said solemnly. "Though, Matron was the one who taught me, so she could show you." One of Quistis's hobbies was knitting, one she got teased for sometimes, mostly by Selphie.

"She's already teaching me _enough_ stuff. Besides, it's a good way for us to hang out and get to know each other better."

"I... uh... thanks, Rinoa." Quistis was flattered by the declaration, since in the back of her mind, she'd wondered if Rinoa was jealous that she was off in the wilderness alone with her boyfriend and all. It's not like it was a huge secret that Quistis used to have a huge crush on him.

"Be careful. And, tell Squall I miss him already."

"I will. Good night."

"Goodnight," echoed Rinoa as she hung up.

Quistis closed Squall's phone and tossed it onto the bed behind her. She went back to her vigil, and when her watch alarm beeped, she got up from the chair, stretching her weary body. "Squall," she called, going over and shaking him. "Squall!" She started shaking him hard and constantly until he groaned and slapped her hands away. He rolled over and started to go back to sleep.

"SQUALL!" She shouted in his ear, loud enough that he bolted upright.

"Whaaa...?" He looked around blearily, glaring at Quistis when he saw her standing over him, hands on her hips.

"Your turn to keep watch."

He groaned and started to crawl off the bed, swaying when he stood upright. He rubbed his face, but the room was still spinning. He hadn't been asleep long enough to get hung over. He was still drunk.

Quistis lay on her own bed after putting Squall's phone on the nightstand. "I know you'll say no, but... do you want to talk about it?"

"About what?" Squall asked, putting the binoculars to his eyes. It briefly turned the whole world on its axis as his drunken brain tried to process the different vision.

"That's what I thought. Rinoa called. She said that she misses you already." Quistis cocked her head. "She said she'd been trying to resist calling you. So then, who were you talking to in Balamb?"

"Huh?" Squall looked away from the binoculars.

"I thought you were talking to Rinoa before we got on the train, but you weren't. It looked pretty private. Was it Laguna?"

Squall didn't answer.

"How's that going, anyway? I guess the fact you're drunk on a mission answers my question." She took off her glasses and put them beside the phone.

"Does it... does it bother you when people come up to you for autographs, or to ask about Ultimecia?" Squall asked after he'd watched the trees blow in the cold arctic wind for a while.

Quistis shrugged and yawned. "I dunno, not really. It will blow over. Although, being asked for an autograph while you're trying to use a public bathroom is a little irritating." She frowned. "But, I'm also not dating the newest Sorceress who also happens to be Timber's rebel princess sweetheart, and my father isn't the really popular, well-loved President of Esthar. Oh... and the whole former movie-star bit, too."

"Yeah, that." He looked through the binoculars for a while. "I wasn't talking to Laguna."

"Hmm?" Quistis murmured sleepily, pulling off her socks and mittens (both hand-knitted by herself).

"It was Seifer." Maybe it was the alcohol that lowered Squall's defences, or maybe he just needed to let it out. He was thinking about what happened between Seifer and him all the time, and it was eating at him.

"Seifer?" She echoed, definitely sounding more awake. "Where was he?"

"Deling City." He looked over his shoulder, and even in his inebriated state, heard the concern for Seifer in Quistis's voice.

"I didn't think we'd hear from him again, or at least for a really long time. He's too proud to ever admit it, but he's ashamed of what he did." She slipped under the blankets, still feeling chilled from their long period of time outside. "But, it's not surprising that he called you. Everyone thinks you hate each other, but I know better." She turned off the light, leaving the room only illuminated by the moon.

"I kissed him," Squall murmured into the darkness., lowering the binoculars into his lap.

"You wha...?" Quistis opened her eyes, and saw his silhouette sitting very still in front of the window, not looking at her. "Like, on the cheek, or a _kiss_ kiss?"

"The latter." Squall's voice sounded dull under the layer of booze, but inside he was starting to burn up with remembered desire upon thinking about it.

Quistis fully sat up, making a few small noises of disbelief, trying to wrap her head around the idea. "When?" She finally asked.

"The day he left Garden. He came to my office to say goodbye, and it just... happened."

Quistis just stared at his immobile silhouette, a million questions running through her mind. So many that it was hard for her to decide which one to ask. "Are you... gay?"

"No."

"It's a valid question," Quistis replied defensively.

"Seifer is, but I'm not."

"He is? Well, I'm at least glad I'm laying down. So, if you're not gay...?"

"Can't I like both?" Squall asked rhetorically, his voice still a little slurred from the alcohol.

"Sure..." She trailed off. "Just surprised, that's all. Though, maybe I shouldn't be. You keep a lot of things about yourself secret. So, uh... what are you going to do about it?"

"I don't know. Nothing."

"Did you tell Rinoa?"

"You sound like Seifer."

"So, you haven't?"

"No. I don't want to hurt her," he slurred. "It was such a freak occurrence, and it's not like it will happen again."

Quistis pursed her full mouth. "Squall, I appreciate your candour, but why did you tell me?"

Squall finally turned his head and looked at her, the moon casting highlights on his nose and cheekbones. "Sometimes even I have to let things out. It's not like I haven't learned _something _from recent events. And, you do inspire confidence. Like Sis."

Quistis smiled, and she saw a ghostly smile echo on his face. "To be compared to Ellone is a big honour. And, I appreciate that you feel like you can talk to me, but I really think you should tell Rinoa."

Squall didn't reply. He'd done all his talking, and was a silent wall once more. Quistis looked at him for a while, thinking that when she finally thought she was really getting to know Squall Leonhart, something always altered that perception of him. He _said_ that the kiss between him and Seifer had been a freak occurrence, but he wouldn't have seemed so conflicted about it if it hadn't meant something to him, if a more than tiny part hadn't wanted it.

Being ever practical, Quistis decided that there wasn't much else she could do about the situation. If Squall didn't want to tell Rinoa, there was nothing she could say to change his mind, so the mission would have to come first. She lay on her back, the cool air filtering through the window lulling her into sleep.

The next night, she was in the same position at the window that she'd been the night before, looking out over the forest. Thankfully, Squall didn't repeat his drinking binge from the night before, and was napping before taking his shift on lookout. They hadn't discussed Squall's confession, and he acted as if he hadn't dropped a major bombshell. She looked through the binoculars, boredom making her head start to droop. She'd snap it upright, and chastise herself for almost falling asleep. She looked over her shoulder when she heard Squall mutter something illegible in his sleep. She looked out to the snowfields again, and blinked her sapphire eyes when something came across her vision. She blinked a few more times, thinking that she was seeing things because she was tired. But, no. She was watching a person in a thick parka leading a much smaller person by the hand towards the woods. The person in the parka looked male because they were big, but Quistis couldn't be positive because the jacket was so bulky. But, the second person was obviously a child. A girl who couldn't have been more than thirteen, and she looked to be struggling in vain.

It could have been a parent leading a tired, impudent child back home, but Quistis's instincts told her something wasn't right. She got up, and shook Squall's hip hard to wake him up.

He looked up and saw her face looking down at him, pale in the moonlight. Squall knew her well enough that he knew something was wrong without her having to utter a word. He nodded and got out of bed, rubbing his eyes as he pulled on his boots.

"I saw something strange," Quistis explained as they quickly went down the stairs to the main level of the inn, zipping up her parka as she spoke. She and Squall tore on their mittens as they dashed into the cold night. "A man dragging a girl into the woods."

"Was she hurt?" Squall asked as they ran, their footsteps crunching through the snow.

"No. It could have been a parent and child from a nearby settlement, but I don't know... something just felt wrong about it."

"Maybe he took her from her house," Squall murmured, his gunblade out in front of him as they reached the tree line.

"That's what I was thinking," Quistis pointed out. "A lot of solitary people out here. Urges come out..." she trailed off ominously.

They fell into silence as they found a trail of footsteps weaving through the old, thick trunks of the evergreens. Squall and Quistis made sure to step in the footprints so nobody could follow their own trail Quistis went first, keeping her eye out for the man and girl, while Squall guarded the rear, in case of the illegal loggers, or the possibility of an ambush - either human or animal.

Quistis held up a hand to stop Squall, then pointed down to the snow, where there were a few droplets of blood. The footprints continued over a crest, where the pair of SeeD lay low on their stomachs. In the valley below, it was very dark, save for a twinkling light that looked like a bonfire. They slowly made their way to the light, making no sound. Huddled closely among the trees were three or four tents.

"Logging camp?" Quistis mouthed to Squall.

His pale eyes took in the settlement, and saw some chainsaws and other logging equipment hanging around. He gave a slow nod, but something still seemed strange. He could see from the way that Quistis was cocking her head, and the tenseness of her shoulders, that she felt the same. Cut within the thicket was a road wide enough for the truck that was parked there.

Quistis jerked her head to the left when she heard a noise from the farthest tent. Squall nodded, and they moved with complete stealth. As they got closer, the noise was obviously a girl crying. Quistis stopped dead and gripped Squall's arm when she distinctly heard more than one voice crying. She looked at Squall in the darkness and gave him an incredulous, confused look. She held up four fingers questioningly.

"Shut up!" They heard a man yell from within the tent. The crying stopped with frightened yelps and loud gasps to quell sobs. "Or I'll fucking shoot you. You aren't that valuable."

Quistis and Squall crept closer to the tent, seeing the faint silhouettes of figures within. "These two for sure," they heard someone say when they got closer. "The blonde looks too stringy."

"Why not that one?" Another voice asked.

"Not pretty enough."

"You don't read the mail when you're poking the fire," one voice joked crassly. "Let's get them on the truck. Can it be ready in an hour?"

"Yeah, sure. Just gotta gas it up." They saw one of the adult silhouettes stand and start moving around. Squall motioned for Quistis to go around the back of the tent, and gave a hand signal for an ambush magic assault. He went to the front of the tent, and burst in, casting a fire spell, more as a blinding distraction than a direct attack. There were children in here, and he didn't want to hurt them. There was a cacophony of swearing, surprised shouts, gunfire, and terrified screams. As Squall cut through them, he could hear Quistis's magic exploding behind him, her whip cracking loudly, and the sound of pained shouts and curses. Squall suddenly felt a burning against his cheek that was so painful it caused his vision to go black, then he was being knocked over.

"Quisty!" Squall shouted through the pain. He clawed at the side of his face, but it seemed to just make the pain worse. "Stop them!"

He heard magical explosions, more gunfire, and the sound of a girl crying out over the revving truck engine, then everything was shockingly silent, except for Squall's heavy breathing, and crying.

"They got away," Quistis replied bitterly as she cast magic on Squall. The pain in his cheek lessened a little. "Looks like they threw Malboro poison in your face." She stood up, and looked to the back of the tent. There were three girls cuddled together, arms wrapped around each other. Their faces were full of fear. "Don't worry," Quistis assured, coming a little closer and crouching down so she could look at them eye-level. "We won't hurt you. We'll take you back to your parents." Squall crouched beside her, lowering his weapon so he wouldn't look threatening.

The girls still cowered together, but looked relieved. One started crying, and ran into Quistis's arms, feeling safer with her because she was a woman. Quistis held the girl, who was thinner and smaller than the others.

"There were four," Squall murmured, his face still throbbing. The Malboro poison made his tongue feel thick.

"They must have gotten away with her," Quistis replied sadly, stroking the girl's dark hair. "Are you from the Birch Township?"

The girl nodded into Quistis's chest without looking up.

"I'll call the sheriff." Squall stood and went over to a makeshift desk as he called the sheriff's office for the township, which was really a man's house, since it was only him as far as law enforcement went in this part of Trabia.

"Did you know the other girl?" Quistis asked, trying to sound kindly, even though she was getting quite nervous. What if they used the girl as a hostage, or just killed her? Or... worse? Quistis didn't even want to think about it.

The girl shook her head, still not looking up.

"The sheriff is going to bring a truck out here," Squall informed, slumping into a chair as his face throbbed painfully. He really needed the ampoule of Malboro anti-venom the sheriff said he would bring. He started rifling through some papers left behind, but the pain in his face made the words swim.

"What's your name?" Quistis asked, tilting the girl's face up after she finally got her to pull away just enough.

"Mary," she sniffled.

"I'm Quistis. Mary, do you know who these people were?"

Mary shook her head violently. Her brown hair was plastered to her wet cheeks.

"Quistis..." Squall said lowly when he was finally able to concentrate enough on the papers. He beckoned her over grimly.

"I'll be right back, Mary." Quistis stroked her hair and stood up. She immediately went and huddled with the other two girls. "What?" She asked under her breath.

Squall pointed to the sheet he was reading, which was actually an inventory. There were emails and price-lists scattered on the tabletop, as well. Quistis's eyes scanned the sheets, and a sick feeling swooped into her stomach, her worst possible fears confirmed. "Slave trading?" She whispered into Squall's pierced ear.

He nodded slowly. "We have to find that other girl. You go on ahead. I'm too affected by the poison, so I'll wait with the girls until the sheriff gets here, and catch up with you once he's got things secure and gets me that anti-venom."

Quistis slowly nodded. It had snowed during the day, so when she dashed out of the tent, it wasn't hard to pick up the truck's tire treads. There was a second truck abandoned in the camp, so she got behind the wheel. The engine took some cajoling to turn over, and Quistis cursed under her breath as she kept turning the key, acutely aware that each passing second was putting that girl into more and more danger. As the truck finally sprung to life, Quistis tore away from the camp, keeping her eyes peeled for the tracks. Luckily, the snow was very white and luminous under the moonlight, so even when driving among trees, she could see the tracks easily.

In the darkness, she eventually found the small red tail lights of the other truck, and slammed her foot down on the accelerator. She couldn't see the little girl at first, and then saw a flurry of movement through the truck cab's windows. As she sped up and got close enough to see what was going on, her stomach plummeted. The girl was being pressed against the window, the men crouched low behind her, using her as a shield.

Quistis cast magic on the tires to puncture them. Without the proper traction, the truck went skidding off course, and the driver swerved hard as Quistis's truck came up along the side of it, trying to box it against a cluster of trees with thick trunks. The other driver suddenly turned the wheel hard, and Quistis was jarred by the sharp collision. She wound up hitting her forehead against the steering wheel, and it made the world briefly turn black. She shook the cobwebs out, grunting as her head throbbed violently.

She slithered out of the truck with her hand tightly around the handle of her whip, stumbling on unsteady feet.

"Stop right there!" A male voice shouted when she started to move towards the other trunk, which was crumpled against an especially large tree.

Quistis blinked, and saw the two men standing about forty yards away from her, one holding a gun to the girl's head. She was looking down at the snow, and was very quiet, but Quistis could see her tiny shoulders shaking in silent sobs.

"Let her go!" Quistis shouted, her voice being taken away by a gust of very cold wind. She sounded a lot steadier than she felt. She unfurled her whip, watching both men carefully.

"You think I care about killing her?" One of the men asked, pressing the gun into her temple. Quistis could tell that he meant business. His hand was jumpy around the pistol, his finger twitching around the trigger. She shot out some very precise magic, hitting the gunman full in the face. The pistol went flying out of his hand, and he stumbled backwards. She fired another, more powerful blast of magic at him now that he was out of the way of the girl. It sent him flying through the air like a doll, and he slammed into a tree, bones cracking loudly. Quistis's whip cracked loudly and furled towards him like a snake, winding around his neck. With an expert flick of her wrist, the thick whip snapped his neck.

She looked across the snow to the second man, whose eyes were rapidly flicking between Quistis's livid face, and the gun that lay in the snow between them. She moved to dive for it, but he was faster, and got the gun. With the girl being used as a shield, Quistis's options were limited for attack. She didn't dare do anything that would hurt the child.

She could see that he was hurt, and that meant he would be desperate. She kept a tight grip on her whip, trying to keep as still as possible so she wouldn't spook him. Quistis gasped as the sudden crack of a bullet cut through the tense silence, blood spraying garishly red against the snow. "NO!" Quistis screamed, running towards their spot. But, she slowed when she saw the girl was still standing, and the man had fallen to his side, blood pouring out from a gunshot wound in the back of his head. Quistis fell to her knees in the snow, looking into the girl's face. She looked very wan and sweaty, droplets of her kidnapper's blood sprayed across her cheeks.

"Are you okay?" Quistis asked. But, the girl didn't reply. She seemed to be in shock. Quistis looked around warily, and saw Squall come out of the thick trees, a rifle in his hands.

"You hurt?"

She shook her head. "Did the sheriff come?"

He nodded. "I followed your tracks."

"I think she's in shock."

"The sheriff followed behind me. We can get her back to the settlement quickly."

"Squall..." She trailed off, rising to her feet. "Thanks." She put a hand on his shoulder.

He just kind of shrugged, his way of saying 'you're welcome'. "I found some paperwork with an address in Deling City. It's probably their base, or at least another outlet for..." He trailed off, all business again.

"I think we should get back to the settlement first." Quistis crouched beside the corpses, and started searching his pockets. She then got up and searched the cab of the truck as the sheriff's car crunched across the snow towards them. "I can't find a phone or anything," she said. "So, I don't think they would have contacted any of their bosses. How's your face?" She asked as they walked towards the sheriff's car, where he was wrapping the shocked girl in a blanket.

"Sore."

"They must have been pretending to be illegal loggers to cover what they were really doing," she murmured, more to herself than to Squall. She felt a thrill go through her. She and Squall had just uncovered an alleged slavery ring that nobody had even known about. His face was stony and remote as usual, so she wondered if he was as excited as she was. After all, a slavery ring wasn't as exciting as saving the entire world from a time-travelling Sorceress.

"I think we should get to Deling as soon as possible," Squall muttered, rifling through some paperwork he'd taken from the camp. "We can ambush them."

"I'll call ahead to Galbadia Garden and get some backup. Maybe they have some information that we don't."

Squall just nodded. Once back at the settlement, Quistis got on the phone with Trabia Garden, and arranged for a boat to take them to Galbadia, where someone from that Garden would meet them. After making sure the girls were okay, Quistis and Squall left the small cluster of houses and made their way to the shore, where the boat would be waiting for them. Squall drove because Quistis hit her head, and she was concerned about a concussion. The anti-venom was starting to do its work, so his face was starting to feel better. As he drove, he couldn't help but think about Seifer. They were going to Deling City, and Seifer was in Deling City. Would Seifer tease him for falling accidentally into a really big mission, even though his eyes would give away his deep-rooted respect?

__

You should be thinking about Rinoa. Your girlfriend, remember?

Rinoa. He thought of her with affection and guilt. The sweet sound of her voice, the way her hair smelled. How her body had looked in the moonlight the night before he'd left for Trabia, highlighting her soft, naked flesh. The swell of her breasts and the curve of her hips. The intimate, wet warmth of her all around him.

__

Maybe you should be concentrating on driving, Leonhart.

Squall blinked and shook his fantasies, about both Rinoa and Seifer, out of his mind, the car having started to drift off course. When they arrived at the coast, Quistis's forehead was a brilliant shade of blackish purple, and the ferry was waiting for them.

"Commander Leonhart! Commander Trepe!" The ferry pilot greeted, saluting them. Quistis was leaning on Squall because her concussion was making her woozy. "I'm Captain Allard. Ready to leave?"

Squall nodded. "You have a medic?"

"Yes, Sir."

After the on-board medic took care of them, Squall and Quistis both collapsed on their cots, and slept pretty much the entire duration of the long trip to Galbadia. Squall woke up periodically because of his throbbing cheek, and felt much better by the time they docked near the Tomb of the Unknown King.

"We've compiled what information we could on the human trafficking ring," Allard told then when they'd docked. Quistis's head was killing her, but her thoughts were clear. "They've been working under the radar, so unfortunately it isn't much."

"We'll take what we can get," Quistis muttered, opening the back passenger-side door of a van disguised as a flower delivery truck.

As they drove, she and Squall read over all the information. There was no way to tell how long this had been going on, or how many people had been sold like property because of them. Once in the city, Squall couldn't help but look out the window, as if out of the millions of people in Deling, he'd actually just happen to see Seifer walking down the sidewalk, or be standing at a bus stop. The logging had been a cover in order to steal children in a remote setting, whereas in Deling, their cover was a local chain of dry cleaners.

"We've put surveillance on them since we got your information last night, and had a few operatives pose as customers. They have their trucks come to the back and park against an opening bay, so we can't see what they're loading and unloading, though they did report a few suspect noises from the area."

"You haven't seen any children or teenagers?"

Allard shrugged. "The dry cleaners are sometimes busy, and people bring their own children with them to pick up orders, so it's hard to judge which are there with parents, and which are there illegally. But, the paperwork doesn't lie."

Quistis nodded. "To think, people have been using these dry cleaners for years without knowing what they really are."

"The one thing we don't know is which is exactly their headquarters. It could be their offices downtown, but we're thinking it's actually one of the shops. We have SeeD set up at each location, and we'll be bringing you two to the shop we believe it is."

Squall and Quistis looked out the tinted back window of the truck as they stopped. Quistis was given a uniform jumpsuit and a baseball cap with a logo Belladonna Flowers emblazoned on them. She slipped the jumper on over her clothes, and tucked her hair up under the cap, putting on a larger pair of glasses than her own with much thicker, darker frames. The jumper was ill-fitting, and made her look heavier than she actually was, and even these minor changes made her look much different.

"Deliver these to the travel agent next door. They've been informed what's happening, and are cooperating. They have a back entrance that you'll use with three agents already inside the agency, while we come through the front. When Squall and I cross the street to the dry cleaner, you'll move to the back."

"Got it." She watched as Squall put on a baseball cap, at least to kind of hide his now rather famous face. He didn't need to be completely disguised. Just enough that he could cross the street in peace. "Good luck."

Squall nodded in silent echo as she picked up the chrysanthemum arrangement and a clipboard and got out of the van. They saw Quistis go into the travel agency, and waited until the van had parked in a nearby alley before they got out and melded into the crowded sidewalks. Allard was checking his watch, Squall watching anyone who came in and out of the dry cleaner.

"Okay, let's go. I'm going to pick up an order that we gave them right after you called. Keep your eyes peeled. And, take off the baseball cap."

"Why?" Squall demanded.

"Because, they'll recognize you, and if they freak out, the jig is up."

Squall reluctantly took off the cap, already feeling like there was a spotlight shining right on him. Even just crossing the street, he could hear a couple of people gasp in passing, immediately recognizing him. It made him want to throw up.

As soon as they entered the cleaners, Squall knew why Allard had wanted him to remove his cap. It was like the clerk behind the counter had immediately thrown up an 'I'M GUILTY!!!' sign. His eyes went very, very wide, and he forgot to pay attention to the customer before him, a woman holding out a dry cleaning ticket.

"Sir?" The woman asked, lowering her hand. Maybe she wouldn't have had such concern in her voice if she'd known the truth. "Are you okay?"

Suddenly, the shop was filled with the loud snap of a gunshot, and Allard went down in a wet cloud of blood and bits of brain and skull. The female customer started screaming, and Squall lunged for her, tackling her to the ground as another gunshot rang out.

"Stay down," he commanded to her as he pulled his gunblade out from underneath his long coat, and vaulted over the counter. He lay flat against the ground, covering his head, as his ears rang from yet another gunshot. The buckshot tore through dry cleaning bags and clothing, and Squall's shoulder stung from some errant pellets. Squall fired a round from his gunblade in retaliation, and heard retreating footsteps. He crept among the clothing bags, hearing the customer's screams getting quieter as he moved deeper into the shop. He ducked to the floor to avoid another shotgun blast, and returned fire. Because of all the dry cleaning bags, it was nearly impossible to see where he was going.

He heard another shot from the gun, and heard the crack of a whip over it, and the sound of magic exploding against something. He could feel the coolness of an ice spell not too far away. He heard more gunshots, and the sound of new voice shouting. Doors were being slammed and thrown open, and someone let out a scream that could only be from a fatal wound. One that sounded female

Squall moved quickly through the bags, and when he pushed away a garment bag with a long wool coat inside, he came face to face with a man wearing a shirt with the dry cleaning company's logo on it, his expression as surprised as Squall's was. They both drew their weapons at the same time, but Squall was quicker. Rather than dealing a mortal blow, he knocked the man across the side of his face with the flat of the blade, and then held him in a firm grip, using him as a shield. "You better hope she's not dead," he murmured coldly into his prisoner's ear.

Squall followed the sounds of battle, moving slowly because of his prisoner, who was struggling and shuffling his feet. When he saw Quistis at the base of a set of stairs, her whip wrapped around a man's throat and choking the air of him, the relief must have shown on his face, because when Quistis looked at him, she gave an amused smile. When her opponent collapsed from lack of oxygen, Quistis loosened her whip, and the surviving SeeD with her tied him up, then came and tied up the man Squall had been holding.

"Worried about me, were you?" She asked teasingly. Her face became serious. "You're bleeding."

"I'm fine. Allard's dead."

"Commander Trepe!" The female SeeD called from the staircase. It looked like it had been hidden behind a stack of boxes that had been toppled over in the struggle. Some were caked with ice from Quistis's magic.

Quistis went up the stairs with Squall watching the rear. "Oh, Hyne..." she trailed off sadly.

Squall kept his eyes on the stairs, but quickly glanced over his shoulder to see Quistis crouching in front of a half a dozen girls, chained up around the neck, cowering in fear.

"It's okay," Quistis soothed, gingerly reaching out to touch the nearest girl, who must have been only ten. The child scuttled away, terrified. "It's okay," she whispered again. "We're SeeD. We're here to help you."


	2. Chapter 2

****

Chapter 02

"From what we can tell, it seems they're based out of the Galbadian continent, but beyond that..." Xu trailed off with a shrug, her tone hushed. She and Quistis were talking, having passed each other in the hallway. They were discussing the latest hot topic at Garden - the Solar System, a mysterious new organization of assassins.

"It was bound to happen," Quistis murmured warningly. "With SeeD refusing more and more assassination contracts, someone was going to fill in the gap."

"We aren't hired murderers," Xu stated firmly. "And, we can't just let a group of thugs in the shadows go around killing anyone that they get a paycheque for."

Quistis just shrugged. Xu was very vehement on this subject, but Quistis couldn't help but think of all the people they'd all killed during their many missions. But, she stayed quiet because she didn't want to start an argument.

"Oh!" Xu suddenly exclaimed under her breath, her hands immediately going up to fluff her hair. "Do I look okay?" She breathed to her best friend.

Quistis's eyes followed Xu's, and she saw Nida walking down the hall towards them. She smiled and waved, feeling a little flutter in her stomach as he smiled back. She'd started to develop a crush on the Garden pilot after spending a lot of time with him and Xu on the bridge, but kept her feelings to herself because of how strong Xu's own were for him were.

"Hi Quistis," Nida greeted, his warm brown eyes searching her own sapphire blue ones. He then looked at her thin deep garnet v-neck camisole and long, lightweight white skirt. "You look really nice. Hi, Xu."

"Hi Nida," Xu breathed.

"What are you talking about so intently?"

"The Solar System," Quistis replied.

"Ah." He smiled at her. "Yeah, that's a popular topic around here."

"Listen," Xu said to draw his eyes to her. "I really wanted to thank you for partnering with Irvine, what with him being new and all." Irvine had just finished his SeeD exams at Galbadia Garden, and was coming back to Balamb, and would be partnered with Nida. Selphie had been a little pissed off, but she already had a partner, and Xu didn't think lovers should be working partners.

"It's not like he's green," Nida pointed out. "Hell, I'm not the one who went face-to-face with Ultimecia."

"Xu!" A voice called from down the hallway. A SeeD was waving at her to come over.

"Damn," she cursed under her breath. "Duty never stops calling. See you later, Nida." She reached up and gingerly touched his shoulder. Behind his back, she gestured silently for Quistis to talk her up.

"I'm sure you and Irvine will get along great," Quistis assured. "He's a great guy. And, he'll like you even if you aren't a hot girl."

Nida laughed. "Hey Quisty, umm... you maybe wanna... go out for coffee with me?"

Quistis's smile wilted a little. "Oh. I... I can't."

"I know you have that meeting today, but after?"

"Oh, I..." Quistis looked down at the scuffed toes of the old pair of leather boots she was wearing, her disappointment mounting. "It's not that. I can't."

Nida frowned. "Is this because of Xu?"

Quistis bit her full lower lip.

"It's not like she's been very subtle. Would it help if I said I don't think of her that way?" He asked hopefully, searching Quistis's face.

"No. She's my best friend..." Quistis trailed off with a sad shrug. "I just can't."

"Well, I hope you change your mind, but knowing you and your integrity, you won't." He gave her a tight-lipped smile. "If you do, come find me."

Quistis watched him go, shoulders slumping as she sighed. She really did want to say yes to Nida's offer. When was the last time she'd been on a real date, after all? But then she thought of how hurt Xu would feel. She then casually checked her watched and stood straight up. "Oh, damn!" She started walking at a quickened pace to the elevator, pushing Nida and Xu out of her mind. As she went towards the garage, she had the feeling that she was going to walk straight into a big scene. When civilians visited Garden, they had to be escorted through the building, so she was going to wait in the parking garage. Luckily, it was empty when she arrived, and the underground concrete area was nice and cool compared to the growing heat of the day.

"Oh no," she muttered under her breath when Selphie and Zell came into the garage.

"Hey!" Zell greeted, waving to Quistis and coming over. "Why are you down here?"

"Why are _you_ down here?" Quistis asked, forcing a smile.

"Irvine's going to be here any minute!" Selphie exclaimed, excited. "Five months is a long time to wait for a booty call."

Quistis looked at her watch again. "Oh, yeah... I guess it is that time."

"You okay?" Selphie asked, eyes suddenly narrowing dangerously. "You seem _verrrryyy_ nervous."

"Oh, no no. I'm fine. Just hot, I guess." She then jerked when Selphie made a squeal that would have fit right in on a farm. A Garden issue car was driving into the parking lot, and before Irvine could really come out of the backseat, she was all over him.

"How romantic," Zell muttered with a joking roll of his eyes.

Quistis checked her watch again, then folded her hands in front of her, then smoothed down the front of her skirt. Her eyes closed when the garage was now filled with the rumbling sound of a motorcycle engine.

"Whoa!" Zell exclaimed when he saw the bike. It was a jet black Hammerhead, a powerful motorcycle made for the Galbadian army.

Quistis visibly winced when Zell went over to the motorcycle and admired it as the driver, wearing leather and a helmet as black as his bike, pushed out the kickstand and killed the engine. "Oh wow, a Sonar!" He breathed. "They haven't made those in years." He peered down at the bike in awe, reaching out to touch the gleaming metal as the rider pulled off his tinted helmet.

"Get your grubby mitts off my motorcycle, Chicken-Wuss."

Zell jerked up to his full, thought short, height. A look of shock became one of great distaste. "Ugh! You?!"

Seifer gave his trademark smirk and stood, swinging his long leg around the bike. He put his helmet under his arm, and gave Zell a once-over, whistling in disbelief at Zell's baggy striped shorts and loose tank top, in an eye-watering colour combination of azure blue, fire engine red and nuclear orange. "My God, you have bad taste in clothes."

"What did you just say to me?!" Zell snapped, hands balling into fists, which caused Seifer to laugh. "Suck my dick."

Seifer raised his hand about an inch above Zell's head. "You must be at least this tall to ride this ride."

Zell started muttering angrily under his breath, fuming.

"Good to see you," Irvine said, reaching his hand out to shake Seifer's. The taller man's smirk turned into a genuine smile as he clasped Irvine's hand. "I saw in the Deling paper that you graduated SeeD. Congratulations."

"About bloody time, right?" Irvine said with a laugh.

"I guess he succeeded where you failed, huh?" Zell snapped meanly, crossing his arms, glaring daggers at Seifer.

"I guess he did," he replied seriously without looking at the other blonde man. "Hello, Selphie."

"Uh... hi!" She greeted, uncharacteristically quiet.

"So, what's up?" Irvine asked, briefly removing his hat so he could wipe the sweat off his brow. "What are you doing here?"

"Picking up my credentials from Quistis."

"Which are in my office, so let's go." Quistis got behind Seifer and started pushing his broad back towards the ramped hallway leading up to Garden proper.

"Instructor, I have the feeling you don't want to see me!" Seifer exclaimed mockingly.

"You didn't have to shake his hand, you know..." They could hear Zell muttering to Irvine as the pair walked up the hall.

"You look good," Seifer commented.

"Thank you," she replied, trying not to think of Nida saying the same thing to her earlier. "You, too. Your hair looks good like that."

Seifer ran his hand over his hair, which was much shorter than it had been the last time he'd seen anyone from Garden. It was now buzzed quite close to his head. "Why, thank you, Instructor."

"Please don't call me that."

As they walked through Garden towards the elevators, people stopped dead in their tracks at the sight of Seifer Almasy. _The_ Seifer Almasy. Even though he wasn't at Garden anymore, his name still hung in the air. And, not just because of Ultimecia. There were a lot of people who had Seifer Almasy stories, mostly involving him getting into big arguments with Instructors. His shouting match with a former mathematics Instructor was legendary, as was the story about him fighting a T-Rexaur all by himself when he was fourteen, and winning.

"Does it feel weird to be escorted around Garden like a stranger?" Quistis asked as they got in the elevator.

"Nah," Seifer dismissed with a shrug. "I was always being escorted around Garden for some reason or another. To detention, from detention, out of class, out of the Training Center after hours, back into Garden after sneaking into town at night."

"And, _you_ were the head of the Disciplinary Committee," Quistis mused with a shake of her head.

"Do as I say, not as I do." When they entered her office, Seifer looked around, smirking. "Ah, yes. I pictured lots of taupe and bland, vanilla artwork. Nice to see I wasn't proven wrong."

"Yes, well..." Quistis sat behind her desk. "I can see how it wouldn't have the same appeal as Squall's office."

Seifer froze mid-motion as he lowered himself into a chair. It only took a second for him to regain his composure. "He told you about that, did he?"

"He did. Does that surprise you?"

"No," Seifer answered after a moment. "He has to talk to someone, right?" He let out a groan, unzipping his black leather jacket. "God, it's surprising how fast you forget how hot Balamb is."

"Soooo...?" Quistis trailed off expectantly, a smile on her pouty lips. She opened a drawer in her desk, pulling out a fat envelope, waving it and sliding it between her fingers. "What do you need your records for?"

"I can't do menial labour for the rest of my life," Seifer muttered, fully pulling off his jacket to reveal a tight white tank top underneath. "I'm kind of... running out of money, and need a real job."

"Do you have a path thought out?" Quistis asked enviously. She loved school, and was jealous that Seifer would be going on for further study.

"Herpetology." Seifer reached out for the envelope, but Quistis snatched it away.

"Ooh, really?" was Quistis's eager reply, holding the envelope out of Seifer's reach. "That would be the University of Dollet, right? They have the best zoology department."

"They've unofficially offered me a scholarship, and I could have a job lined up when I'm finished. They're even letting me into the current semester which starts in two weeks." Because Garden's academics were of such a high standard, it was the equivalent of an undergraduate program at a post-secondary school, and anyone who decided to leave Garden or who didn't become SeeD could go into more advanced university programs earlier than if they'd just gone through regular school. Their well-honed language skills also made it very easy for them to study internationally.

"Doing what? Study, or working in a zoo? What kind of reptiles would you specialize in?"

"Can I answer the _first _question before you ask me a second?"

"Sorry, sorry."

"There's this guy that Raijin knows in Deling that has a lab where they milk the snakes for anti-venom. With the city expanding into the desert, more and more people are getting bitten. They always need people, so..." He trailed off with a shrug. "I guess it's hard for them to find people crazy enough to purposely go after poisonous snakes and Malboros."

"And, you have more affection for animals than you do for most people?"

He chuckled. "Well, that too. So... how is Squall, anyway?"

"Why are you asking?"

Seifer rolled his eyes. "Leave that kind of immaturity for someone else, Quistis. It doesn't suit you."

"Well, _excuse me_, Mr. Highbrow."

"Besides, it was just a kiss, and it was months ago."

"Uh huh."

"Where is he, anyway?"

"Why?" She asked, eyes dancing.

"Just curious," he snapped.

"He and Rinoa went to Balamb Town for a lunch date."

"He..." Seifer's mask of bravado briefly dropped. "Did he tell Rinoa?"

Quistis shook her head. She saw that Seifer's expression of disapproval was the exact mirror of her own.

"If he loves her, like he claims, then he shouldn't lie to her. She'll be hurt more when she finds out. These things have a way of coming out."

"Like you?"

Seifer laughed sarcastically. "I guess he really opened up to you. Did he make out with you, too?"

"No."

"Used to be that would make you put your head on the desk and start sobbing."

Quistis shrugged a bare shoulder. "I know, but now the idea of kissing him kind of creeps me out. But... I mean... umm..."

"You want to ask me how I feel about the whole thing, Lady Transparency?"

"You don't have to be an ass, but I guess you can't go against your natural tendencies."

"I don't know!" Seifer exclaimed, exasperated. "Okay? I don't know! I know that he's with Rinoa, and that's that, but thinking about it it was" He could still taste Squall's mouth as if the kiss happened only moments ago, instead of months and months. He would still think about it at night, as he was drifting off to sleep, and the potential it'd had. Where it could have went. What having sex with Squall would have been like... He clammed up when he looked at Quistis across the desk. "Never mind. Can I have my envelope now?"

"No!" Quistis stretched it out of the way when he rose from the chair to snatch it. "Not until you tell me more!" She then put the envelope down the front of her tank top. "I'm a desperate, horny, lonely woman who will take any action she can get, including hearing naughty homoerotic stories."

"You think it's safe from me down there?" Seifer asked, looking at her chest, her shirt now askew because of the envelope inside. "Because I totally will."

"What did I just say about being desperate and horny?" She put her hands up protectively against her bosom as Seifer reached for her. He wound up getting her into a tight hug from behind, trying to get his hand up her shirt from the hem. She shrieked and started laughing as his fingers passed over a ticklish spot.

"Give it to me," Seifer demanded.

"Touch me here and say that!" Quistis exclaimed through her laughter.

"Got it!" Seifer tried to pull the envelope out of her shirt, but she started squirming and grabbed it so he couldn't take it from her. "Quisty, let go. I'm sure the university admissions board will wonder why my records are all ripped in half."

"I'm sure the truth will be quite the interesting story."

"Or, give me a one-way ticket to the sexual predators registry."

"Even more interesting!" She exclaimed breathlessly. "Oh!" She exclaimed with mock disappointment when Seifer succeeded in pulling the envelope away from her. "That was the most action I've gotten in never mind, it's too lame to admit."

Seifer sat back down, smoothing out the envelope. "It's pretty thick. All my disciplinary demerits in here?"

"No. Just your marks, and some letters of recommendation from staff."

"Recommendation?" Seifer echoed, surprised. "Recommending what? A firing squad?"

"I put one in there. So did Cid and a few other Instructors."

Seifer snorted, opening the envelope. "Let's see what Instructor Trepe had to say, hmm?"

"Oh, Seifer, no... it's too embarrassing!"

"Ah, yes. '_Extremely mentally gifted. Very self-motivated._' Aww, Quisty. You're too sweet."

"If you look past all your awful behaviour, you were actually quite a good student. Your marks are very impressive. Almost as good as mine."

"And, your ego is almost as big as mine." He looked at a sheet with his grades on it.

"If you'd applied yourself, you probably could have been one of the elite of SeeD."

"Can you really see me taking orders?"

She sighed. "No, I guess I can't," she replied with affection. "How long are you in the area?"

"I'm taking the morning ferry back. Can I use your fax machine to send these off?"

"Oh, sure." She watched for a while as he fed the papers into the machine, dialling the Dollet number. "You going to try and at least see Squall before you leave?"

"Maybe it's better if I don't. I don't know what to say." Right now, his better judgement was winning, but Seifer didn't know if that would be the case if he laid eyes on Squall again.

"That would be a first."

"Look, I got what I came for. I'm just going to take off now."

"Please don't. I was only kidding."

"I'm not that fragile, Quistis. I just... being here isn't exactly high on my enjoyment list."

"I can't really blame you, I guess." She rose from her chair as he started putting his jacket back on. "But, you did get to make fun of Zell, which I know is a great past time of yours."

Seifer chuckled to himself. "He just makes it so easy. And, I guess I did get to feel you up, so there's always that."

"Yes, that was quite nice," Quistis said with a withering roll of her eyes. "A good molestation always makes one feel like a lady."

They both laughed as there was a gentle knock on the door, which immediately followed the door swinging open. "Quisty, do you have the deposition from that jewellery store owner? I can't find it." Squall came into the office, stopping dead in his tracks when he saw she wasn't alone, and that she was with Seifer.

A look of shock and disbelief replaced Squall's usual perma-scowl as he looked at Seifer, standing in Quistis's office, laughing with her. Seifer, standing there wearing all black leather, as frozen as Squall was as he was zipping up his coat. All the leather sent Squall's mind into sexual overdrive, and the room started feeling a lot hotter than it already was.

"Oh, uh... hi, Squall. You remember Seifer, right?" She quipped, desperately trying to cut the tension of the moment and failing miserably.

Squall wasn't even aware that Quistis was in the room anymore. Most people in sexual fantasy would have imagined someone undressing, but the fact that Seifer was zipping his jacket closed, encasing himself further in leather, made Squall's intestines squirm pleasurably. He imagined himself being caught up in Seifer's strong arms, tight to the point of near-pain, his mouth being assaulted by Seifer's own, his nose filled with the smell of Seifer's jacket, chaps and boots.

He kept staring for what had now become an obscene amount of time. "I guess we know what Squall's kink is now..." Quistis murmured, starting to feel rather uncomfortable.

"Wh... what are you doing here?" Squall asked, finally able to find his voice. His cheeks were flushed in a way that was making Seifer notice the warmth in the room even more. He was trying desperately not to look at Squall's mouth. Especially now that he knew how soft it was and how good it tasted.

"You mean the whole school wasn't talking about my coming? I'm kind of disappointed."

"Squall doesn't pay attention to other people, remember?" Quistis said out of the side of her mouth.

"I came to get my records, and now that I have, I'm going back home."

"But..." Squall trailed off, watching as Seifer and Quistis walked out of her office. "Records?" Squall demanded, trying not to look to closely at Seifer, lest he go off into dreamland again. "What for?"

"I'm going back to school," Seifer replied, stopping to look into Squall's face. It was a bit of a mistake. He felt like he was falling, the absence not doing a goddamn thing to lessen his desire for the other man.

"Oh, hi Rinoa!" Quistis exclaimed, elbowing Squall hard in the side.

"Seifer!" She exclaimed, walking up to them, Angelo walking obediently at her side. When she stopped, the dog sat and looked up at Seifer expectantly.

"Hi, Rinoa," he greeted, trying not to sound guilty. "You look really nice."

"Thank you!" She moved forward towards him, stopping awkwardly as she looked at Squall, who quickly looked down at his shoes. She reached out to shake his hand, and then changed her mind and moved in for a hug, which Seifer returned stiffly, looking over the top of her head at Squall, who was still avoiding looking at them. He instead concentrated on looking at Angelo, and stroking her head. "So do you!" She complimented. "The shorter hair is really nice. Are you seeing anyone?" She asked boldly.

"Err, thanks." He patted her back as they broke the hug. "And, no. I'm single." He briefly looked to Squall. "You're even more famous than Matron now... always in the papers."

Her sunny expression briefly clouded over. "Yeah, I guess I am. Reporters seem to find us everywhere. I don't really mind all that much. Not as much as some people, anyway." She gave Squall a peeved, sidelong look. "_Soooooo_, Selphie said something about you coming back for your credentials. Anything you can share?" She asked, clasping her hands at the small of her back, and looking up at him with the same look on her face that Angelo had.

"I'm going on for further study. Can't be a Garden drop-out forever, right?" He looked beyond Rinoa, his shoulders stiffening when he saw Zell, Selphie and Irvine coming towards him. But, it wasn't them that suddenly made his blood curdle. It was that Xu was with them. To say him and Xu weren't the best of friends would have been hugely understating the hatred that thrummed between them like a current.

"Ah, Seifer. I'd heard you slunk into Garden. Can't keep all the pests out."

"Xu," he greeted stiffly.

"So?" Rinoa asked as Seifer and Xu glared at each other. "What are you going to study?"

"Herpetology," he answered, eyes practically shooting lasers at Xu.

"That... that's not what I think it is, is it...?" She asked, cocking her head. "You're not really studying herpes, are you?"

"That would be appropriate," Xu murmured, to which Zell laughed.

"No Rinoa," Zell piped up, still grinning. "It's the study of reptiles, which is even _more_ appropriate in this case."

"Oh, you and your butter-knife sharp wit, Zell. Don't worry, Xu... I'm leaving. You can stop clenching."

Quistis pursed her lips at Xu as she walked with Seifer back towards the elevator.

Rinoa put her chin on the back of her hand, watching as Seifer and Quistis walked together, heads bowed together as they talked. Squall was too busy patting Angelo to notice the big smile that suddenly and slowly washed across her lovely face. Squall thought that if he just kept looking into Angelo's chocolate brown eyes, things would be okay, and he would forget about how warm he felt, and how Seifer had looked, and the electricity between them.

"I don't know why you have to be so bitter..." Irvine trailed off as Squall's senses slowly came back to him. It was like Irvine had been talking through a tube, and then lowered it from his mouth. He was addressing Xu and Zell. "He's been through worse shit than we can imagine, I'm sure. Give him a break."

"Like he gives me?" Zell spat.

"I'm not saying it's right," Irvine replied smoothly, running his fingers over the brim of his black cowboy hat. "But, if you just ignored him, he wouldn't bother. He's going after the reaction that you give."

"Men like him don't deserve second chances," Xu murmured. "He's had quite enough of them already." She narrowed her eyes at Irvine. "Besides, don't you have work you should be doing? I remember giving Nida an assignment for the pair of you."

"Right..." Irvine's periwinkle eyes also narrowed. "Yes ma'am." He gave an icy tip of his hat, took Selphie's hand, and went down the hallway. Squall cocked his head and watched them leave. He'd never seen Irvine as cold as that before.

"I should probably apologize..." Xu trailed off, putting her fingers to her smooth forehead, looking shamed. "I guess Seifer just brings out the worst in me."

"That makes two of us." Zell patted her awkwardly on the shoulder.

"Squall..." Rinoa trailed off after Xu and Zell followed the direction Irvine had went in. "I think we should try our outing again."

"Hmm?" Squall had crouched in front of Angelo, and was scratching her ears. Her tail was thumping loudly against the floor in appreciation. She rolled over onto her back, wanting her belly rubbed. Squall showed a rare, real smile as he lavished affection on the dog.

"I think we should try our outing again," she repeated. They'd gone for a lunch date in Balamb Town, but it had ended rather quickly when a cluster of reporters had discovered them. Rinoa had tried to keep the lunch pleasant, but Squall was having none of it, and they'd started to tensely argue all the way back to Garden.

"Why bother?" He asked bitterly.

"I think it might be better if it was a double date," she prodded as they went into his office, Angelo bounding in ahead of them, flopping down on the rug, panting heavily because of the heat.

"I'm sure Irvine and Selphie want to be alone tonight."

"No. With someone else..." She trailed off slyly.

He sat down, and looked at her from across the desk. She was practically tenting her fingers as a plan hatched in her mind. "Who...?"

"Don't you think that Quistis and Seifer would make a good couple? They're both so tall and blonde and good-looking."

"NO!" Squall exclaimed, loudly enough that it caused Rinoa to jerk.

"Why not?" She asked, shocked by his outburst. "They get along really good, they've known each other for so long, and they're both single. Right? What possible reason could you have for not wanting to see them happy?"

"They... they just wouldn't work out, okay?" Squall didn't feel he had the right to tell Rinoa about Seifer's sexual orientation. If Seifer wanted her to know, he would tell her. "They're just friends."

"The best relationships start out that way."

"No," Squall said again with a frightening finality. Even though he knew it wasn't a remote possibility, he _hated_ the image of Seifer on a date with someone else, even if it was Quistis.

"It would help Quistis get her mind off Nida."

"Quistis likes Nida?" He asked blankly.

"Yes!" Rinoa exclaimed, annoyed with Squall's density. "But, she'd never go against her friendship with Xu."

"Xu likes Nida?"

"Oh, Squall..." She shook her head in dismay.

"So what?" He snapped. "Maybe I have better ways to spend my time than gossiping about someone."

"It's not gossiping!" She exclaimed, getting angry. "It's noticing and caring about your friends."

"If Quistis wanted to tell me, she would have, instead of letting people talk about her behind her back."

"What does that mean exactly?" She asked, putting her hands on her hips.

Squall opened his mouth to retort, but then snapped it shut. "...Whatever."

Rinoa let out her breath slowly, then started playing with the ends of her hair. "Squall... why are we fighting?" She came over to him and put her hands on his shoulders from behind. "I don't want to." She kissed the top of his head. "Can we please just have a nice dinner together? Maybe the whole gang. And, we can look forward to this weekend." That weekend, since Squall wasn't on assignment, he and Rinoa were taking a trip to Esthar at Laguna's insistence. Though Squall wouldn't admit it out loud, he actually... enjoyed spending time Laguna. Yes, Squall had unresolved issues with Laguna's abandonment, but his father made it hard to hate him. And, there was also the huge plus that paparazzi laws were really strict in Esthar, and they weren't allowed in the Presidential Palace at all. Squall could actually have a few days without a camera being shoved in his face.

"Okay," he replied quietly, squeezing her hand.

"Good." She leaned in and kissed him, beaming. "Do you want me to come remind you when it's time to get ready to go?"

"I'm not a baby..." He muttered as she went to the door.

"I'll come remind you," she replied, blowing him a kiss.

Once the door closed, Squall groaned and lowered his head to his desk. His spat with Rinoa actually had nothing to do with Seifer's sudden reappearance. They actually bickered a lot. Rinoa expected a lot from Squall, at least in his eyes, and he resented his dwindling 'alone time'. But, he didn't enjoy fighting with her, and felt like a bit of an asshole.

He started thinking about Seifer, and started to get aroused again, and a little angry. _Why_ did he have to come back to Garden so suddenly, and why did he have to look so fucking hot while doing it? The leather showed he obviously had driven a motorcycle here, and Squall's mind went into sexual fantasy overdrive, thinking about Seifer straddling a big bike, the engine roaring loudly. Maybe Squall would go for a ride with him, and Seifer would fuck him right on the motorcycle

"Rinoa just commandeered me for some dinner," Quistis announced when she came into his office.

Squall sat up and frowned at her for interrupting his fantasy, which had gotten rather graphic. "Why didn't you tell me?" He snapped.

Quistis raised her eyebrows at Squall's waspish tone. "Because I found out my appointment was Seifer _after_ you'd left for Balamb Town. Besides," she flopped down in the chair across the desk from him. "Maybe I was hoping you wouldn't see him. You have a girlfriend that you're in love with... apparently," she added under her breath.

"I do love her."

"Then why do your eyes look all glassy like you just had an orgasm?"

Squall looked away, the room still feeling stiflingly warm.

"You have to do something about this," Quistis insisted.

"It's just... surprise. I didn't expect to see him, is all."

"I guess it brought out your inner leather slut."

Squall glared at her.

"I think you're being cruel," she pressed sternly. "To _both_ of them. You're having sexual feelings for someone other than Rinoa that aren't going away, and maybe you're leading Seifer on."

He frowned.

"I mean... Seifer _is_ gay, right? If he kissed you before, I'm sure he feels some sort of sexual attraction to you. And, you're sending him all kinds of signals that might give him a false sense of hope."

"Why? Did he say something to you?" He demanded, a little too quickly.

"No, of course not. But... Hyne, Squall! You were a heartbeat away from giving him oral sex."

Squall mumbled some sort of protest under his breath.

"Never mind. You won't listen anyway," she muttered, standing. "I guess I'll see you at dinner."

"Quisty?" He asked as she opened the door.

"What?"

"Is it true you like Nida?"

She cocked her head, kind of surprised by the question. She closed the door again. "Why?"

"Rinoa said you did. She wanted to set you up with Seifer so you could get your mind off Nida."

Quistis snorted. "Yeah, I'm sure you loved that idea. And... yeah, I guess I do. He asked me out today," she admitted sadly. "But, I turned him down because of Xu. Even though I really wanted to say yes."

"I... Why didn't you mention it to me?"

"I dunno. You're too involved with your own problems."

Squall pursed his lips as Quistis left, feeling like an ass, and a poor friend. Quistis had all this internal torment that he hadn't noticed, and he hadn't even considered that he might be leading Seifer on. Would Seifer maybe want _more_ from him? "Stop it!" He told himself, pulling his paperwork towards him. "Stop thinking about him."

---

A few hours later, Quistis was in her room, looking at the clothes in her closet, deciding what to wear. But, Rinoa hadn't been specific on where they were going to eat, so she didn't know if it was strictly casual, or something a little nicer. After all, Irvine had been away from Garden for so long that they might want to all celebrate.

"Quistis, is it okay to come in?" Rinoa's voice called from the other side of the dorm room door after a quick knock.

"Yeah," she called.

Rinoa opened the door, and looked stunning wearing a halter-necked dress in beautiful lavender silk with a layer of chiffon on top of it. Her hair was pulled back, and she wore pretty diamond earrings and a tennis bracelet to match.

"I guess I know what kind of outfit to wear..."

"I told Squall to start getting ready, so we should be good to go soon."

"Okay. We going to take separate cars?" She asked, pulling a cashmere forest green turtleneck from a drawer. She started placing it against suits to see which colours looked nicest together.

"You should wear this one!" Rinoa pulled a backless black satin dress out of the closet. "With your hair down."

"Aw, no... I can't wear a bra with it. It's too fancy."

"Quistis, you're so beautiful. You should show it off! Put it on, or I'll zap you with magic."

"Yes, My Lady!" Quistis did a SeeD salute, going into her bathroom to change.

"I'm going to pick out some jewellery for you," Rinoa called.

"Seems kind of fancy for Irvine and Selphie. But, I guess Irvine will appreciate the lack of bra." She slipped into the dress, and took her hair down from her bun. She came out of the bathroom and sarcastically twirled. "Does this meet your approval?"

"You should wear your hair down more," said Rinoa. "You look so pretty." Rinoa wasn't just saying that to be a good friend. Quistis really was a beautiful woman who, even though she was only a year older than Rinoa, seemed so sophisticated and adult. It baffled the new Sorceress as to why Quistis didn't have a string of boyfriends. She grinned mischievously and handed Quistis some sapphire jewellery.

Quistis started putting on the earrings as Rinoa helped her with the clasp of the pendant. "Matron gave me these, just after the Ultimecia fight. She said they'd belonged to her grandmother." Her voice sounded sad, wistful. "I guess she's the closest thing I have to a mother."

"I think she brings that out in everyone," Rinoa murmured. "Even me. I know Squall feels that way, though of course he won't admit it. There!" She stepped back. "You look perfect. Let's go collect Squall."

"Where's everyone else?" Quistis asked as the three of them went to the garage. Squall looked very good in a black on black suit, and also highly distracted. Quistis could guess what he was thinking about.

"They'll be coming later," Rinoa murmured. "We're going to the Shilahn, honey," she told Squall as he sat behind the wheel of the car.

The drive was a silent one. Rinoa was smiling and humming a tune under her breath, watching as the scenery whizzed. Squall was thinking about Seifer and Rinoa, having no clue what he should do. And, Quistis was thinking about Nida. Even though Squall and Rinoa were very dear to her, and the Shilahn was a very nice restaurant, she would have much rather been going out for coffee with him. She wondered what they would talk about, or if they would even talk at all. Maybe they would just sit across from each other, sipping their coffee and looking at each other in comfortable silence. She got so lost in her own head thinking about Nida's warm brown eyes and his contagious laughter, that she was surprised when they'd pulled up to the valet at the restaurant.

There was a flurry of excitement when they got out of the car, people coming up to talk to Rinoa, who was gracious as ever. She smiled for a random picture, looping her arm through Squall's, who started glowering violently. A couple coming out of the restaurant started to stop and ask him about Laguna, but he stalked right past them, dragging Rinoa behind him.

"You don't have to be so rude," she hissed to him under her breath as the approached the maitre d'.

"Good evening and welcome to Shilahn," he greeted.

"Yes, a reservation for four, under the name Heartilly?"

"Four?" Quistis asked, cocking her head in confusion as they were led to their table in a secluded part of the restaurant. It felt inappropriately romantic for a nice dinner with friends.

Squall's eyebrows started raising as he pulled out Rinoa's chair for her.

"Why only four of us?" Quistis asked, Squall also pulling out her chair for her. "Thanks."

Rinoa just smiled and grinned. Squall's body language was starting to get stiffer as he sat down.

"Would you like something from the wine list?" A waiter asked.

"Dear god, yes," Squall answered. He picked a bottle from the list, then whipped his head around to glare at his girlfriend. "You didn't."

Her smile got wider, and she sort of stood, waving.

Quistis looked over her shoulder, her face a mask of surprise when Seifer came towards their table. He also looked confused when he saw it was only Squall, Rinoa and Quistis. "Where's everyone else?" He asked, voice laced with dark suspicion. Squall had to look down at his plate because Seifer looked really handsome in a dark grey suit with cream pinstripes, with a matching waistcoat and white shirt and tie.

"It's just us. Sit down in the empty seat beside your date."

"My what?" He sat, looking at Quistis and laughing in confusion. The waiter came back with the wine, and poured their glasses. Squall gratefully downed liquor, still trying to not look at anyone else at the table. "So, you guys are trying to set us up?"

"I had nothing to do with it," Squall snapped, finally looking up. "I told her it was a bad idea, but she doesn't care what I have to say."

Rinoa frowned at him, sipping her wine as Squall poured another glass. "I don't see why it's so wrong." She looked across the table at Seifer and Quistis, who both still looked highly confused. "You two get along so well, and know each other really well. And, you look so good together! You'd have such cute blonde children."

Seifer bit his lower lip, and looked the most uncomfortable that Squall had ever seen him. "Rinoa..." He trailed off. "This isn't how I wanted to tell you, but I guess I'm backed into a corner." He folded his hands on the table, stroking one of his fingers over his cross-sword ring, the only heirloom he possessed from a family he never knew.

"Tell me what?" Her brow knitted together. "But, you said you didn't have a girlfriend. You don't like Quistis?"

"I like Quistis very much."

"Awww," the blonde cooed playfully.

"It's just... I'm gay, Rinoa."

She sat there, staring at him. He could see her mind working furiously behind her coffee brown eyes. "No," she murmured. "You can't be."

"He seems to be under that impression," Squall muttered into his wine glass.

"But... we..." She bit her lip, which was painted a delicate and glossy pink. "What about us? Were you... using me?"

"No!" Seifer exclaimed quietly, his voice actually quite gentle. It made Squall look at him closely, and made him feel warmth growing in his stomach. "I wasn't ready to admit it to myself, and I really liked you regardless. I really liked how passionate you were about Timber's liberation. And, you _are_ pretty. Who better to try and be straight with?"

"Very smooth," Quistis teased as Rinoa blushed.

"I feel so silly!" Rinoa moaned.

"Don't. I've barely told anyone. Consider yourself on the inside." His charming smirk slid back on his face. "Now... can I have some wine, or are you going to drink the whole thing, Squall?"

Squall just looked across the table at him, unable to find words, or even think properly when looking into his peridot eyes.

"Umm, can we maybe have a nice dinner anyway, and forget that I mortified myself so completely?" Rinoa asked.

"Only if you're paying."

"Oh, Squall won't mind. Will you?"

"Nah, I have the feeling he won't," Quistis murmured, to which Squall replied with a scathing glare.

"Why reptiles?" Rinoa asked after they'd ordered and their appetizers were brought to the table. "There are lots of kinds of animals to study, but why them?"

"I think they're interesting. Particularly snakes and dragons..."

"And tonberrys," Squall interrupted, sipping his wine.

"Well, maybe..." He admitted, looking a little embarrassed.

"You like tonberrys?" Rinoa asked, grinning.

"He loves them," Squall answered.

"Hey, now."

She giggled. "That's really cute."

"I'd really like to study their social behaviour. They live in such hostile environments, and are so critically endangered that it hasn't been documented. But, I might not get the chance. If I take that job milking snakes, that is."

"I can't imagine..." Rinoa trailed off, trying to suppress a shudder when she thought of a bunch of cobras and rattlesnakes slithering about, baring deadly fangs. She wasn't very fond of snakes. "So, I guess you'll be moving to Dollet then, right? What about Fujin and Raijin?"

"They're coming, too. Raijin has a surprising knack for finding work and meeting the right people wherever he goes. Fujin's expressed some interested in Dollet's business college. I think being a water-cooler dictator would suit her really nicely."

"They'd go anywhere you did," Quistis murmured fondly.

He shrugged casually, though his eyes softened with affection. "They're the only family I have."

"You have us!" Rinoa exclaimed. "The Orphanage gang, right?"

"I'm not... part of that. You six are the 'gang'. I'm just... I'm Antoine Fugelli."

Squall looked up from his glass. "You saw that?" Seifer had made a reference to _The Mercy,_ an obscure play that had opened a few months ago in Deling City's Avon theatre district. It hadn't lasted very long because it didn't draw big numbers, but Squall had dragged Quistis to see it while they'd been in the area for a mission, and they'd both come out stunned and enthralled by it. It was about the fictitious Fugelli family, and the fallout when the patriarch smothered his terminally ill daughter. "I think you, me and Quisty must be the only people."

"Too bad for them. You didn't see it, Rinoa?"

"No. They went while they were in Galbadia on a mission. But, I feel like I've seen it already because Squall couldn't stop talking about it." She gave his shoulder a loving squeeze. "It's the most I've heard him talk about... well, anything. But, which one was Antoine again?"

"The son who was disowned for having an affair with a married woman."

"Right."

"I guess people would rather go to the theatre to see something stupid instead of something good. Like _Falling Stars._"

"I haven't seen that one," Quistis answered. "But, there was a production in town here that Zell said was pretty good."

"Big surprise," he muttered under his breath. "Well, don't listen to him. It's awful. If Zell wants people to take his intelligence seriously, he should stop professing moronic opinions."

"Do you think that Mrs. Fugelli killed her husband at the end, or herself? I think she killed him, but Quisty says herself."

Seifer leaned back in his chair, meeting Squall's gaze, a small smile gracing his lips. He liked seeing Squall showing genuine emotions. It lit up his entire face. "I don't think it necessarily matters. It's written in a way that you both can be correct. It's all about interpretation."

"I wondered after it if Mrs. Fugelli was actually suffering from Munchausen by Proxy, and had caused Lillia's illnesses, and thus caused her death," Squall pondered. "Then, she would have wanted to kill Mr. Fugelli because he took away the crux of her disorder. She wanted to keep making Lillia sick."

"When I heard that production was stopping, I went and saw it on the last night, and when I saw it the first time, I agreed with you, but the second time, I wondered if it was just grief and she ended her own life because her family was so torn apart. Maybe I was just in a different mood the time that second time. Either way, I didn't feel that either opinion was wrong."

"There was no evidence in the play that Mrs. Fugelli was suffering from any mental illness," Quistis pointed out.

"It was all in subtleties and sub-context. She was always the one who gave Lillia her medicine, and who tended her bedside, who always seemed convinced that she wasn't cured."

"It could have also been a murder-suicide."

Rinoa listened to the conversation with interest, and a bit of jealousy. The three of them were talking so passionately that she felt a little left out. And, while she enjoyed seeing Squall talk so animatedly about something, actually smiling in his interest, she would have liked to have seen it more. Though Squall did show her a lot of physical affection when it was just the two of them, their conversations were still sometimes lacking.

"I actually got to meet Trinnia Delilah after the last production," Seifer replied, speaking of the actress who played the matriarch, Ava Fugelli. "She's even more beautiful up close. She kind of reminds me of Matron."

"Ooh, what was she like?" Quistis asked eagerly.

"She was very posh and well-spoken. Really captivating. We actually talked for about fifteen minutes."

"Did she tell you that her character suffered from Munchausen?"

"No, no. She was actually pretty coy about the last scene, and wanted me to have my own opinion about it. We actually talked about Dollet. She lives there when she's not doing work in Deling. She recognized me, but was really tactful about it. I appreciated it. And, she signed my playbill."

"Lucky bastard," Squall muttered enviously. Talk casually turned to other plays, and then films, as they ate their dinner. Squall talked more than he had in weeks, finding it _so easy_ to converse with Seifer. He'd forgotten how fluid their talks were, and how comfortable he felt, which was the opposite of how he usually felt when talking to people.

"Seifer," Quistis asked during a lull in the film conversation. "Do you know anything about the Solar System?"

"Quistis, you don't have to talk Garden stuff all the time, you know?" Rinoa murmured teasingly.

Seifer cocked his head and looked at her. "Why? Is Garden starting an aerospace program or something?"

"No, no, no. Not _that_ solar system. The _other_ Solar System."

"You mean the fake solar system, or some kind of parallel dimension solar system?" Seifer's grin was getting wider and wider.

Quistis made an annoyed noise at the back of her throat. "You mean, a mysterious underground group of assassins isn't showing up on your radar?"

Seifer shrugged. "I'm sure you've seen the papers. People care more about the councilman hooker scandal, or about what Squall and Rinoa do in their free time."

Squall muttered angrily under his breath, refilling his empty wine glass.

"That's... a little disheartening."

"Why? Is Garden having a problem with this group? Taking away some of your business or something?"

Quistis hesitated. Rinoa and Seifer, though they both knew the inner workings of Garden, were technically civilians, and they weren't supposed to discuss Garden information with outsiders. "Garden has started to... move away from that aspect. Not that we were ever completely hired assassins..."

"What do you mean, 'move away'?" Seifer asked.

"Cid and Xu and the board of directors decided that wasn't a public image that we wanted. I mean, I can agree with that. We don't want everyone to see us as thugs, right?"

"Well, then what did you expect? If Garden's not picking up assassination contracts, someone's going to start doing it. The money's out there. Even though I can't stand to admit it... maybe Xu has the right idea. Teaching children how to murder people" He shrugged. "Well, you can see the result of that sitting right in front of you."

"Oh, come on... I still don't get why you and Xu are always at each other's throats," Quistis murmured defensively.

"Why all the bad blood? Did something bad happen in the past between you two or something?" Rinoa asked, picking up a cracker with cream cheese spread on it. "Did you two date and it went wrong? I mean... oh, no!" Rinoa lowered her head. "I'm sorry!"

"It's okay. Some people just don't get along right from the start. Me and Xu are like that."

She smiled at him. "I still feel silly for setting this dinner up for nothing, but I guess it all worked out, because we're having a good time, right? I mean, I guess you didn't get to go on a date though, right Quistis?"

Quistis replied with a smile that was a little wilted around the edges, her mind going to Nida.

"Well, I know you must agree with Xu's decision," Rinoa murmured to her boyfriend.

"I'm sure he doesn't," Seifer said with confidence.

"It puts those contracts in the hands of criminals," Squall replied, meeting Seifer's pale green gaze. The way Seifer was smirking causing heat to rise in him. "Terrorists and oppressive tyrants don't just _change_, no matter what rehabilitation they're given."

"And, it's better that a teenager kill them instead of an already hardened against murder criminal?"

"Some people just need to die."

"So, people don't deserve a second chance?" Seifer asked, raising an eyebrow. "What you're talking about isn't justice. It's vengeance. It's not very Knightly of the current Sorceress's Knight."

"What's 'knightly' is doing what needs to be done to protect what you have to protect. These people ran out of second chances." Squall's voice was starting to slur because of all the wine he'd drank.

"People like me?" Seifer asked darkly. "You really _do_ sound like Xu, Squall."

Squall's face paled. "That's not what I meant."

"Yes, it was. Do whatever you have to do to protect your Sorceress."

"I was never trying to kill you," he said very quietly. It struck him like a slap to hear Seifer say that.

"Squall... you can't mean what you just said," Rinoa urged sadly. 'Some people just need to die' wasn't something she enjoyed hearing Squall say. "I know you"

Anger flared in Squall, and he snapped "Oh God, just shut the fuck up for once."

Rinoa opened her mouth in surprise, stomach clenching painfully. She looked across the table to Quistis, who suddenly started fiddling with her napkin in embarrassment, and at Seifer, who was staring at Squall unwaveringly. She looked down at her lap, feeling tears welling in her throat. "Excuse me..." She whispered, getting up and making a beeline for the washroom.

"Yeah, I think that's a perfect definition of the word 'knightly'," Seifer murmured. "You should apologize."

"Squall, what the hell?" Quistis demanded angrily. She collected hers and Rinoa's purses, and went to the bathroom after her.

Seifer's expression was quite blank as he got up from the table, making his way towards the hall leading to the men's washroom.

Squall sat alone at the table for a few moments, downing what was left in his wine glass. The waiter came by with the bill. Squall put his credit card in the leather folder, and then got up. When he came into the brightly lit, impeccably clean men's room, Seifer was the only one there, leaning over one of the gleaming sinks, washing his hands. He raised a blonde eyebrow as he looked at Squall's reflection.

"Why did you ask me to apologize to her?" Squall demanded, taking a few steps more into the room, stumbling a little.

"Because you acted like an asshole." He stood to full height as he turned off the faucet. "And, I should know. I'm an expert in asshole-ish behaviour." He moved to the door, but Squall was blocking his path. "What do you want me to say?" He demanded. "What?! You want me to _fight_ for you or something? You want me to tell Rinoa that we made out? That you were pretty much ready to suck my dick this afternoon?"

"I... I don't know," Squall admitted truthfully, looking up into Seifer's eyes. Both men started to notice how close they were now standing to each other. Seifer couldn't help but marvel at Squall's flawless skin, and he reached out to touch his smooth, perfect cheek, despite his mental reservation.

Squall's eyes slid shut, and he moved closer, until his and Seifer's chests were brushing together when they inhaled. He could feel Seifer's breath against his face, and their lips brushed together ever so slightly. "Seifer..." Squall couldn't help but whisper. He connected their mouths, and his heart flip-flopped when Seifer returned the kiss.

But, only for a moment. His hand dropped from Squall's cheek, and he stepped back, just as he had during their prior embrace. "No," he stated firmly, though Squall could see the conflicted lust in his eyes.

"Why?" Squall demanded sharply. Angrily. He reached out and grabbed Seifer's lapels when the taller man tried to move past him towards the door.

"You're drunk."

"So what?"

Seifer grabbed Squall's wrists and forcibly disentangled himself from the other man, even though he felt his willpower crumbling with each second they were alone in each other's company. "In case you've forgotten," he hissed angrily. "You have a girlfriend whom you claim to love very much. One that you seem to be doing everything in your power to hurt."

"I'm...not..." Squall mumbled, words slurred together. He stumbled when Seifer pushed him away.

"I'm not going to sneak around with you."

"Even though you want to?" Squall asked challengingly. He _knew_ Seifer, and knew that his words didn't fully reflect his wishes.

Seifer didn't reply. What could he say? Squall would know that he was lying if he denied it. Instead, he just walked past him, the smell of wine strong from him. Quistis and Rinoa were back, and Rinoa held her head high and proud, even though her cheeks were blotchy and it was obvious she'd been crying.

"I'm sorry our dinner got ruined," Rinoa apologized quietly, trying not to look at Squall as he came back.

"Don't apologize." Seifer leaned in and kissed her cheek. "It was really good seeing you, Rinoa."

"You're not just saying that, huh?" She asked.

"I'm not _that_ much of a prick. Well, not all the time." He turned to Quistis. "That doesn't mean we still can't hang out. I got a new suit just for this dinner. I'd actually like to get some use out of it."

"Let's do it." Quistis wasn't exactly looking forward to getting in a car with Squall and Rinoa right now. That would be one ugly, silent trip back to Garden. She could only shake her head at the look of jealousy that flickered across Squall's features. Seifer didn't notice because he was making it his business to avoid looking in Squall's direction at all costs.

"I don't blame you," Rinoa muttered, glaring at Squall through her red-rimmed eyes.

Squall could only silently watch as Seifer and Quistis left the restaurant, heads already bent together as they got into some hushed discussion. What were they talking about already? Would they keep talking about _The Mercy_, or other plays? Would they talk about the Solar System? He pictured himself standing close to Seifer, like Quistis was doing now, talking. Just... talking. Or, maybe they wouldn't even talk at all. Maybe they would just look at each other, and maybe the sexual possibility in their eyes would be realized.

It surprised him when he looked up to see that Rinoa had left him behind. He walked quickly after her, finding her waiting for the car. Squall was too inebriated to drive and knew it, so he handed her the keys. She snatched them away without looking at him, her body language defensive and closed. Squall poured himself into the passenger seat, a massive headache starting behind his eyes. The drive was as Quistis had feared - silent. Squall looked at Rinoa's profile, how her shoulders were hunched and how tightly she was gripping the steering wheel. How her jaw was clenched and her cheeks were still splotchy. Rinoa's dark and full lashes were clumped together because of her tears.

_Why are you so angry with her? Why are you purposely trying to pick a fight with her? Rinoa didn't do anything wrong..._

He had a wonderful, sweet and beautiful girlfriend, so why was he acting like this towards her? Was it just because of Seifer, or was Squall purposely trying to find a way out of this relationship for other reasons?

"I'm sorry," he murmured, continuing to look at her profile, temple resting against the car seat. "I... I don't know why I got mad with you."

"I do," she snapped, sniffling a little. "Because you're drunk. Again."

"Can I make it up to you this weekend?" He asked, being very genuine.

Rinoa didn't answer, but she did look at him out of the corner of her eye.

"Rinoa..." He reached out for her hand on the steering wheel, and clumsily covered it with his own in his drunkenness.

"You hurt my feelings."

"I know."

She let out a great, frustrated sigh. "I wish you would let me in there, Squall. Even after all we've been through, you still keep your walls up." She briefly took her eyes off the road to look at him. "Why don't you tell me what you're thinking?"

Squall pursed his lips. "I'm sorry," he repeated. He felt anger rising in him again that had absolutely nothing to do with Seifer. Actually, none of their arguments had anything to do with him. He was really beginning to despise the phrase 'tell me what you're thinking'. But, he didn't rise up to his lurking bitterness. He really didn't want to fight with Rinoa anymore.

"Well..." She trailed off. "I forgive you." She smiled sadly, finding it hard to resist him, even when he was being a complete jerk. "Pending your plans for this weekend."

"I'm glad."

"Squall...?" Rinoa began to ask after a period of silence. Garden was getting bigger on the horizon.

"What?"

She opened her mouth to say something, brows coming together with concern. "... nothing," she murmured sadly, briefly looking at the sharp angles of his profile. "Never mind."


	3. Chapter 3

****

Chapter 03

"I cannot fucking _believe_ this," Nida muttered under his breath, eyes angrily scanning the third page of Balamb Town's morning paper, shaking it at Irvine. They were getting on the ferry, off to their first assignment as partners; a racketeering ring in South Timber. "She told me that she couldn't go out with me because of Xu, but it was really so she could go out partying all night with Seifer Almasy."

Irvine cast a look to the small article, which was mostly a picture of Seifer and Quistis, dressed nicely and looking quite dashing, coming out of a trendy after-hours club. They were both smiling and laughing and oblivious that their picture had just been taken. "They were probably just hanging out. I think Rinoa planned some kind of dinner and they probably just went there afterwards." They stopped at two empty seats on the upper deck, under the already hot morning sunshine. "They're just friends." Irvine slouched in his seat, tilting his hat so it shielded his eyes from the sun. "Besides, I'd bet my entire collection of dirty magazines that he's gay."

Nida had been rather absorbed in the picture, halfway between fuming that Quistis had gone out on a date with someone other than him, and looking longingly at how beautiful she looked with her hair cascading around her shoulders. "Huh?" He snapped his head up, not sure that he'd heard Irvine correctly. "What... he told you this?" Nida felt a little hope rise in him. There was no way he could compete with someone like Seifer Almasy over a woman, but if he were gay...

"Nah. I'm just a good observer of people." His tone darkened a little. "Something else that people tend not to notice about me."

"Well, what makes you think that?"

Irvine shrugged. "I guess I'm just tuned into anything involving sexuality of any kind. It does come in handy sometimes."

"Did anyone ever tell you you're a pig?" Nida said with a laugh, quickly finding out that most of Irvine's comments were meant jokingly.

"A day's not complete unless someone does. Oh-ho, speak of the devil." Irvine raised his arm and waved.

Nida turned around to see Seifer coming over to where they were. "Were you and Quistis on a date last night?" Nida demanded as soon as the other man was in earshot.

Seifer frowned, lowering his tall frame into a chair beside Irvine. "Nice to see you too, Nida. Hi, Irvine."

"Heading back to Galbadia, huh?"

"Yeah..." Seifer trailed off, still frowning at how severely Nida was glowering at him. "What date?" He asked. "You don't mean that disaster Rinoa tried to set up last night, do you?"

"This!" Nida snapped, shoving the newspaper in Seifer's face.

Seifer snorted. "God, doesn't Balamb ever have any _real_ news?"

"Are you and Quistis seeing each other?"

"Can I call my lawyer first, officer?" Seifer shook his head. "You mean, you really don't know? I figured Rinoa would have told Selphie, who would have blabbed the whole mess all over Garden."

"What are you talking about?" Nida demanded.

"You know, you're not making your intentions very secret, here."

"I don't care if everyone knows how I feel about Quistis."

"Including Xu?" Seifer asked in an off-hand manner.

"My feelings for Xu are platonic only. And, it's not going to change."

"Well, that's what I told Quistis, but you know how noble she is." Seifer shrugged. "And, I am _not _dating her. Believe me."

A ringing suddenly came from within Irvine's clothes. He patted his jacket, searching his pockets to find which one the phone was tucked into. He pulled it out and checked the caller ID, mouthing 'Selphie'. He put the phone on speaker, and even before he could finish saying 'hello', she started off.

"Oh Hyne, Irvine! You will not believe what I just found out! Rinoa told me this morning after you left and I just had to call you because this is beyond news! It's huge, utterly mind-blowing! So, the other night Rinoa wanted to set up Seifer and Quistis on a blind date, and double with her and Squall, right? She thought they would make a really awesome couple, but then when they all got to the restaurant, Seifer told them he was gay! I mean, can you believe it? Seifer's gay? I totally busted a gut! I mean, everyone's shocked as hell. I totally didn'tthinkthatheofallpeoplewouldbegayandnoweveryone'stalkingaboutit!"

Irvine raised his eyebrows and looked at Seifer, who seemed to be blushing a little. Irvine put the phone on his lap, and stretched his arms over his head at she continued on, scarce needing a breath. Nida's shoulders relaxed visibly, and then he gave Irvine a look of wonder. "The Master of Sexuality..." He trailed off, laughing.

Selphie's ongoing string of words stopped. "Irvine, who was that? Am I on speakerphone? You know I hate it when you do that! Take me off speakerphone."

"Yes, dear." He put the phone to his ear, slumping in his chair so his face was hidden under the shadow of his hat's brim. He didn't say anything more, but probably couldn't get any kind of word edgewise into Selphie's continuous stream.

"So, I guess you can stop giving me the glare of doom now, yeah?" Seifer asked with a cocked eyebrow, leaning back in his chair.

"It still doesn't solve my problem, though..." Nida muttered. "Pining after someone that I can't have. How pathetic."

"Yeah..." Seifer trailed off bitterly, looking out to the horizon as Garden's shadowy silhouette got smaller and smaller. "Pathetic."

---

Rinoa couldn't help but beam as she and Squall walked through the uber-futuristic halls of the Esthar Presidential Palace. It felt really nice to have some alone, romantic time with Squall, especially with him always gone on missions. She leaned into his side and squeezed his hand, smiling even wider when his blue eyes met her own gaze. Things had been perfect so far. He'd reserved them a private table at a romantic restaurant. They'd gone on a long walk together and talked. Talked for the first time in what seemed like months. Squall smiled back, but not as brightly as his girlfriend.

Rinoa checked her watch and made a tsk-ing noise. "We were gone a long time. Laguna said that supper would be set out for six. We better hurry."

"We wouldn't want him to start pouting," Squall muttered under his breath.

Rinoa smacked him in the arm. "Be nice."

They went to Laguna's office, where the desk was awash with papers that Laguna was supposed to be signing, but was neglecting. Kiros kept nudging them towards him, but he was too busy talking to Ellone and her steady boyfriend, and would gesticulate as he spoke and send a few papers flying. Kiros could only roll his dark eyes and set the papers in front of his long-time friend once more.

"Squall!" Ellone greeted, rushing over to him and giving him a hug. Rinoa watched with a small measure of jealousy as Squall smiled and hugged her back more freely than he would hug _her_ in front of a bunch of other people.

"Laguna, you really have to sign these," Kiros chastised playfully. He was too calm a man to get upset by Laguna's procrastination.

"Fine." Laguna took them, taking a moment to look at Squall and smile, even though his son wasn't paying attention to him.

"Guess what?" Ellone exclaimed, barely able to contain herself. She was normally very reserved, so it piqued Squall's interest to see her so excited. She held up her left hand, where a diamond ring glittered. "Roberto and I are getting married!"

"Really? Congratulations, Sis." He hugged her again, and then reached out to shake Roberto's hand. He was a very tall and stately man who was very nice, but also very, very quiet. He made Squall look like quite the chatterbox.

Laguna beamed at Ellone and Squall, acting like the siblings they were, though they weren't blood related. He then looked at the forms that Kiros was nudging under his nose. "Okay, okay." He reached up to the breast pocket of his rumpled charcoal grey shirt, and then started tapping his chest, then the top of his head. Big and silent Ward shook his head, a small grin on his scarred face.

"Looking for something?" Kiros asked.

"Huh?" Laguna bit his lip.

"You look just like Squall when you do that," Rinoa commented fondly. "He bites his lip just like that when he's thinking really hard."

Laguna scratched his head, and patted his pockets again.

"You lost your glasses again, didn't you?"

"Noooo," Laguna ground out. "They're just in my... office...?" He trailed off. He squinted at the papers, and held them far out at arm's length, holding them at different angles to see if the words would become less blurry without his bifocals.

Kiros just sighed, his eyes dancing as he pulled a pair of black-framed spectacles out of his pocket and handed them to Laguna.

"Well, how am I supposed to find them if you stole them?" Laguna demanded hotly, snatching the glasses from Kiros's hand. Ward grinned over the top of Laguna's head.

Squall just shook his head. He had the distinct impression that Kiros had a large stash of spare reading glasses since Laguna was always misplacing them. Laguna mashed the glasses on his face and scanned the papers.

"I had to keep Uncle Laguna from telling you," Ellone murmured quietly as they both watched him. He had a glazed, bored look come across his eyes as he read over the documents. "You know how he is."

Squall's response was to cock an eyebrow. "When's the wedding?" He asked as Rinoa hugged Ellone again. She almost seemed more excited than the actual bride-to-be.

"Oh, we don't know." Ellone reached out a hand and clasped Roberto's, who smiled lovingly at her, but remained quiet. "I can picture a long, long engagement." She laughed, warm brown eyes shining with merriment. "The only thing I know is that I want the flowers to be white lilies."

Squall's serene smile wilted a little, as it always did whenever Ellone mentioned Raine, even in an off-hand manner. He loved hearing stories about the mother he would never get a chance to know, both from her and from Laguna, but at the same time, it filled him with sadness, and a bit of jealousy.

"So, we're having a little celebratory dinner!" Laguna exclaimed, shoving the papers back into Kiros's hands after signing them. The taller man started smoothing out the crumpled papers without batting an eye.

"Maybe we'll be having a celebratory dinner soon, huh?" Rinoa asked quietly as they all started to make their way to one of the Palace's dining rooms, Laguna walking beside Ellone and Roberto ahead of them, talking animatedly. Rinoa fiddled with the fringe on her hand-knitted scarf. The thing was quite misshapen, bumpy and not nearly as pretty as something Quistis could knit, but Rinoa was infinitely proud of it because it was the first thing _she'd_ made, and wore it often. She squeezed his hand and looked up into his eyes. "When we get engaged."

"Is that a hint?" Squall asked, more than a little wary.

"Not today, silly!" She playfully swatted his arm. "But, maybe someday, huh?"

"Maybe..." He trailed off, mind wandering. He looked down at Rinoa, imagining what she'd look like in a wedding dress. She would look beautiful, of course, but the thought of marrying her didn't completely fill him with joy like it should have. He studied her profile carefully, her high cheekbones and silken, dark hair. The prettiness of her mouth and the way she smiled. And yet...

_And yet... what? _He asked himself. _Maybe you're just looking for something wrong because you want to take the easy way out and fulfill your own sexual desires. You're being selfish._

_But, what about Seifer?_ Another voice asked in his head. It was a valid argument, because his stomach swooped at the mere thought of his long-time rival. He hadn't seen him or spoken with him in almost three months, but that same intense whoosh came over him at the mere thought.

Rinoa felt the intensity of his gaze on the side of her face, and looked into his eyes. She smiled when she looked into his eyes, but it faded when she saw how serious he looked. She cocked her head, trying to read his expression, but she found it impossible. "Squall?"

It took him a moment to acknowledge her. "Hmm?"

"You look... concerned."

"It's nothing," he replied quietly, now looking straight ahead, his eyes still a stormy sea of inner thought.

"Tell me what you're thinking," Rinoa urged quietly.

Squall's jaw clenched briefly. "It's nothing," he repeated, this time his tone frosty.

"Squall..."

"Why do you have to know?" He demanded. He released her hand and started walking a little faster to keep up with Laguna and the others, leaving Rinoa standing on the spot, sad and bewildered.

"Because I love you," she murmured to his receding back. He couldn't hear her quiet words. "And, I wish you would let me in."

Squall stopped when he realized she wasn't walking beside him anymore. He looked over his shoulder and saw her standing there, looking so forlorn. He despised himself for not worshipping her like he should have. She looked down from their gaze at her feet, her hands fidgeting with her badly knitted scarf. He walked back towards her, collecting her in a hug. "I'm sorry," he apologized.

Rinoa stood stiffly in his arms, and then put her arms around him. She just wish she could understand him. She thought she'd been starting during the whole Ultimecia thing, but now that they were back into 'regular' life, he seemed to be so far away, so remote and unreachable.

"I'm sorry," he repeated into her hair when her hands clasped around his slender waist. "I've been... stressed out lately," he somewhat lied.

"Oh, me too." She shook her head and looked into his eyes. "I know you sometimes just like to be alone, and that you've got lots of stuff going on right now." She squeezed him as tight as she could. "You're getting more responsibility now. That's a lot to think about."

"Yeah," he muttered distastefully. More responsibility was the last thing he wanted.

"We shouldn't be arguing anyway. This is supposed to be Ellone's celebration." Rinoa squeezed him again "Right?"

"Yeah."

Rinoa smiled, but she still had a measure of discomfort as she took Squall's hand again and they went into the dining room. Squall sat down in the chair that Ellone had left empty for him beside her, further withdrawing into himself. Rinoa smiled and chatted with everyone, even though there was a gnawing worry growing in her. She looked at Ellone and Roberto, at Ward and his wife Karen - a plump, boisterous woman with an infectious laugh, and Kiros and his husband, Tiernan - a well-renowned magical doctor in Esthar, who also happened to be _extremely_ gorgeous with his white-blonde hair and startling grey eyes that reminded Squall of Seifer. All these couples were like what she and Squall should have been like. It was such a fairy tale, the way they started out, so why did things seem to be so streaky? What was going wrong?

The dinner conversation was pleasant and had lots of laughs, mostly because of Laguna's seemingly endless well of stories where he did something stupid, and Kiros's well-timed zingers that got the whole table laughing, including Laguna. Even Squall had to crack a smile, even though this was the last place he really wanted to be. He was very happy for Ellone, and loved her dearly, but all the talk of marriage was putting him into a depressed stupor, coupled with the growing worry that Cid really was grooming him to maybe become Headmaster of Garden. He thought of the way Cid would sometimes nudge him and wink, or clap his shoulder after a successful mission and give him a hopeful smile. The whole thing was enough to practically send him into a panic attack. With shaking hands, he reached for the scotch decanter that sat in the middle of the table, and poured himself a glass, which he downed immediately. It calmed his nerves enough that he could actually pay attention to what Ellone was saying to him.

"I'm thinking I should have an official party, you know?" She was musing. "And, have a bunch of friends. Not that you're not friends, but you're family, so it's different. Matron and Cid could come, and Zell, Selphie, Irvine and Quistis. Some friends from Esthar, too." She ticked off fingers as she thought of a list. "I'd want to invite Seifer, too. Have you been in contact with him? Do you know how I could reach him?"

"Oh... err..." Squall took another long drink of scotch, feeling guilty even at the mention of Seifer's name.

"He's going to the University of Dollet now," Rinoa chimed in. "We saw him at Garden a few months ago, and he mentioned that."

"Really?" Ellone asked, interested. She leaned forward so she and Rinoa could talk across Squall. "I can't picture him going back to school."

Rinoa chuckled. "Well, I guess at a regular school, he wouldn't have to follow as many orders."

"I hear that," replied the older girl. "Matron couldn't get that kid to do _anything_! What a bull-headed little bastard," she murmured affectionately. "What's he studying?"

"Herpetology," Rinoa answered. "And, don't ask me what I thought it was before he told me it was studying reptiles."

"Was it something Laguna-esque?" Ellone joked.

"Huh?" Laguna asked, hearing his name. He'd been in a separate conversation with Ward, Karen, Tiernan and Kiros. "What?"

"Nothing, Uncle Laguna."

"What?" He demanded again. "What are you saying about me?"

"Nothing!" Ellone raised her eyebrows mischievously.

"C'mon! Tell me!"

Squall chased his scotch with a glass of very good red wine, biting the inside of his lip as Ellone and Rinoa continued to chat about Seifer. Was Seifer thinking about him right now, too? Or, did he even bother to think about Squall at all? Squall had been the one to instigate both of their embraces, and Seifer _had_ kissed him back, but he was a man after all - how else was he supposed to react when someone was jamming their tongue into his mouth?

As he thought of Seifer, his eyes were drawn to Kiros and Tiernan, whose hands were joined on the table top. Could that have been him and Seifer if he'd just acted on these buried feelings a couple months earlier? The sheer thought of it made guilt painfully gnaw his insides, especially when Rinoa brushed up against his side, and his nose was filled with the roses smell of her hair.

"...and then her boyfriend started chasing me around with a big stick. I had to climb a tree to get away from the guy! It's not my fault his girlfriend decided to go skinny dipping where any old hiker could see her!"

"Whose fault is it that you were watching for ten minutes, hiding in the bushes?" Tiernan asked in his deep baritone, pale grey eyes dancing.

"It was _not_ ten minutes. Okay... maybe it was more like two or three. And, hey! Shut up. You know, you're getting more and more like Kiros every day."

"Thank you."

"It wasn't a compliment."

"Maybe he can be the one to find your glasses every time you lose them, then," Kiros answered, completely deadpan.

"Laguna, you should just get a chain and wear them around your neck," Karen chided. "Like my grandmother when she does quilting." She laughed as Laguna made a face.

"I think Kiros and Ward just purposely misplace them on me so I'll look foolish." Kiros opened his mouth to reply, but Laguna said "shut up" before he could get a word out. They all laughed, and Laguna's eyes casually cast over the table to where Rinoa and Ellone were talking excitedly, Squall between them. Laguna's brow furrowed when he noticed that Squall had already gone through half the scotch decanter. Though Squall was a _lot_ more reserved and distant than Raine had been, their faces were so similar that Laguna could make accurate guesses at his son's moods. And, he did not look happy.

As the dinner broke up, Kiros gestured for Squall to come over. "We need to discuss a matter of business."

"That can wait until later," Laguna protested. "Besides, we should probably discuss that with Cid."

"No, it's fine." Squall's voice wasn't quite as crisp as it normally was, and as he walked over to them, he was a little unsteady.

"We've already sent an official letter to Cid about it, but I figured you'd want to know about the senate vote about letting Garden set up in Esthar."

Squall raised an interested eyebrow, though he was pretty drunk so it was taking all his concentration to pay attention to the conversation. "The answer's no, correct?"

"Yes," Kiros replied. "The people of Esthar just don't want Garden here. They barely tolerate the army as it is, let alone a separate military school. Even _if_ you're the son of the President."

"I'm sorry," Laguna apologized. "But, Esthar is a democracy."

"Whatever. It's fine," Squall answered, the words blurring together. "I never cared either way about it."

"I'm glad of it, if you want my honest opinion."

"Kiros!" Laguna hissed, elbowing him.

"It's fine," Squall repeated. He left them to go over to Ellone. He stumbled a little, but Laguna was quite surprised he could even walk after all the booze he'd inhaled. As he walked past Tiernan, Kiros distinctly caught Squall looking at him in a less than innocent manner. This wasn't the first time, either. He wondered if that was part of the reason every time they seemed to see Squall, he was always drinking. He wondered if he should say something to Laguna, or even approach Squall himself.

"Rinoa!" Laguna called gently to her. "Can I... can I ask you something?"

"Well, sure!"

"About Squall."

She cocked her head, noticing how he'd lowered his voice, and the concern in his eyes. "What's wrong?" She asked, putting a worried hand on Laguna's arm.

"I just... Well... does he drink this much often?"

"Oh, um... just in social situations. Not a big deal," she answered, though the way she pursed her lips told Laguna that she was more concerned that she was letting on. "I've never seen him drink otherwise. He just hates parties and that kind of stuff."

"Right..."

Rinoa squeezed his arm, then went to join her boyfriend. He watched as she took Squall's hand. He looked over to her and gave her a small smile before turning back to his conversation with Ellone. He was smiling and chatting casually with her, and everything did seem to be fine. Laguna bit his lip, hoping it was just a matter of him going overboard at parties.

"How's Quistis doing?" Ellone asked during a lull in the conversation.

"Fine."

"When she emailed me last, she said there was a guy at Garden she liked but couldn't make a move towards him. How's that going?" Ellone asked, full of big-sister concern.

Squall shrugged. "Xu likes him, too. Quistis would never betray her friendship for a man."

"That's very noble..."

"And, very Quisty-like," Squall finished with affection. "She'll just throw herself into work to keep her company."

"She's got you to keep her company, though."

"Yeah, we're quite the fun pair," was his sarcastic reply.

Rinoa pursed her lips just a little. Sometimes, she would get jealous over Squall and Quistis's close relationship. Quistis often got to spend more time with Squall than Rinoa did. After all, Quistis was so smart and fierce and beautiful. How could Squall not be tempted by her?

"I always thought that Quistis and Seifer would have made a good couple, but I guess I was wrong there!" Ellone laughed. Some recent tabloid headlines read 'Ultimecia's Knight Comes Out!' or 'Seifer Almasy Gay Shocker!'. It actually pushed Squall and Rinoa off the front page for a few weeks.

"I thought the same thing!" Rinoa chirped. "I even set them up on a blind date, and it was a complete disaster." Rinoa laughed, but she still blushed at her own foolishness.

"How's he doing?" Ellone asked, all big-sister once again. "I can't imagine him enjoying having such a private part of his life paraded around in the papers."

Squall shrugged, not trusting his voice.

"I guess he feels the same way you do whenever a camera is shoved in your face, huh?" Ellone patted Squall's cheek.

"I think Edea is secretly relieved," Rinoa answered when Squall didn't. "Now some of the media attention's taken off her and she can concentrate on running the Orphanage without having to give interviews every day."

Squall tuned out the rest of the conversation, his mind going to so many other places. To Seifer, and not just sexually, but knowing how he must have felt, seeing himself plastered all over the papers. He thought of himself and Rinoa, how their private life was barely their own anymore. How he had all this pressure growing on him from Garden and Cid. Not just him, but Quistis too. How she seemed to thrive on it, while it just made him want to throw up. How he had this whole new _life_. He had a father now. A man who was still a little bit of a stranger to him.

He snapped out of his mental maelstrom when he felt Rinoa tugging on his arm. The dining room had started to empty out, people going off to do their own thing, or go to bed for early mornings. He must have been staring off into space, because Laguna was standing in front of him with his arm around Ellone's shoulders. "Where did you go?" He asked.

"Oh, never mind him. He does that all the time," Rinoa answered with a roll of her eyes that was part playfully affectionate, and part exasperated.

"Just wanted to say goodnight. I have an early meeting with the prefecture mayors, but we can have lunch tomorrow, right?"

"Yeah, we're not going back until the evening," Rinoa answered.

"Okay, cool. See you later, then." Laguna moved forward to hug Squall, but stopped himself and stuck his hand out instead. Squall shook it, and Laguna reached up and touched the side of his face, searching Squall's eyes with his own, as if he were going to go blind tomorrow, and wanted to memorize every detail of Squall's appearance. Squall craned away from the touch a little, his cheeks already starting to turn pink from more than just his drunkenness.

"I'm really happy for Ellone," Rinoa answered when they'd gotten back to their room and she'd changed out of her dinner dress into a silky cream-coloured nightie. It definitely wasn't the first thing she'd wanted to say, but she didn't know how to ask Squall if he might have a growing drinking problem.

"Mmm," Squall grunted, bumping into a dresser on his way to the bathroom.

"Squall...?" Rinoa called as she heard the water running.

"What?"

"Don't you...?"

"Don't I what?" He asked when she didn't continue, coming out of the bathroom with a toothbrush in his mouth. "Don't I what?" He repeated tersely when she just stared at him.

She brought her knees up to her chest as she sat on the bed. "Don't you think you should let Laguna hug you? You know he really wants to," she answered. She just couldn't do it. After all, they were at a party. People drank at parties. And, Squall hated going to parties.

"I'm not ready yet," he mumbled around his toothbrush.

"Squall?" She asked again, putting her chin on her knees.

"What?" He asked again from the bathroom, getting annoyed.

"Don't you think you drank too much tonight?" She blurted out before she could talk herself out of it.

"So what?" He scoffed, a little defensively. "It's not like I passed out into my soup. I can still walk and talk."

"Barely," Rinoa muttered under her breath.

"Whatever," he snapped.

"I'm just worried about you!"

Squall sat on the edge of the bed, back to her. "You don't need to be."

"I think I do! Especially when you don't tell me what you're feeling. Tell me what you're thinking!" She urged, crawling across the bed.

Squall's shoulders stiffened at that phrase, but relaxed again when he felt Rinoa's soft hands come to rest on them. He could feel the distant magic thrum in her touch from her dormant well of Sorcery. "I just had a few drinks," he answered wearily. "I got carried away." He looked over his shoulder at her, and the worry filling her deep brown eyes.

"You sure?" She asked, uncertain.

"Yes."

"Well, okay..." She agreed, even though she wasn't totally convinced. She was surprised when Squall reached up and touched her hair, brushing a lock off her cheek. It was such a gentle gesture that it froze her.

"I really do love you, you know?" He murmured, filled with love for her, warring with his intense guilt at the fact that maybe... No. He couldn't go there. He couldn't let him wonder things about Seifer.

"I know," she murmured, though she treasured such the rare declaration. "I love you too." She opened her mouth to add something like 'I'm just worried about you, that's all', or 'I wish you felt like you could talk to me', or 'why can't you let me in there, Squall?', but she kept it to herself. He leaned in and kissed her, which made her heart flutter, even though his lips tasted strongly of alcohol. He wrapped his arms around her, his hands roaming her torso, leaning them back as he cupped her breasts through the cream silk of her lingerie. Her body was pressed between his weight and the mattress, and while they were so close physically, they were emotionally miles apart.

---

"Well, if Esthar doesn't want it, they don't want it," Quistis replied with a shrug, walking shoulder-to-shoulder with Squall down one of the hallways of the upper levels of Garden. She wore the skimpiest clothes she could while still being business-like, because it was a scorcher in Balamb. She had on a thin tank top in bright pink, and a lightweight pair of white linen pants. Squall, of course, wore full pants, gloves and a leather jacket. She'd only ever seen Squall show any kind of skin in semi-public during hard work-outs, and even then, it was always a modest t-shirt and pants.

"Was Xu mad?"

"Maybe just a little disappointed. What does it say, anyway?" She looked over Squall's shoulder as he opened the large envelope he was carrying. They'd just come from a roundtable meeting where the various SeeD teams on active duty would choose available missions. Squall had grabbed one of the envelopes before Quistis had gotten the chance to put in any input.

Squall pulled out the papers, and his step faltered. " ...chasing some escaped convict."

"That escaped from Dollet jurisdiction," Quistis finished, raising her eyebrows, gripping Squall's upper arm so he'd stop walking, hard enough that his leather mid-length trench coat creaked under her hand. "Dollet?" She asked questioningly.

"I didn't pick it on purpose."

"Uh huh." Her disbelief was evident in her tone.

"I didn't!" Squall insisted quietly. "It's just... a happy coincidence."

"Happy for who?" Quistis asked darkly, now crossing her arms. "Rinoa? You said things were going fine between the two of you."

"It's completely innocent. The ferry leaves in two hours, so we should get our prep work done fast," he rambled, wanting to desperately change the subject. Balamb Garden had a small number of super-fast small ferry ships docked in Balamb Town they could deploy when SeeD needed to get to places faster than public transit could take them.

"Don't bullshit me, Squall. I'm sure your libido jumped up the second..."

"Shut up!" He hissed, nudging her as he saw Cid coming towards them up the hallway, trailed closely behind by Xu.

"Hello, Headmaster!" Quistis greeted jovially after shooting Squall a peeved sidelong look. "What's up?"

"Oh, just on my way to a meeting," Cid answered with his usual pleasant countenance. Xu had some bursting binders and folders cradled in her arms. "Listen, I know you've got to start getting ready for your next mission, but when you guys get back, I want to talk to you both about your positions in the future of Garden."

"Future?" Quistis asked. "It's unfortunate about Esthar..."

"Oh, it's not that. It's just I can't be Headmaster forever, you know?" He gave them both a wink. Quistis chuckled, while Squall was stonily silent as usual. "You two are the face of Garden's future." He clapped Squall on the shoulder. "Well, can't keep everyone waiting forever."

He kept walking up the hallway, though Xu didn't follow right behind. She stood in place, paperwork clutched to her breast, looking as if someone had just swung a giant anvil into her face. Squall had kept going in the other direction, his mood immediately soured at the sheer mention of more responsibility, but Quistis stayed behind, looking at her best friend with mounting concern. Xu was actually swaying a little bit, like she was going to faint. A few papers came fluttering out of the bundle, but she didn't notice.

"Xu...?" Quistis asked, gingerly touching the other woman on the shoulder.

Xu jerked and took a giant gulp of air, looking at Quistis like she'd forgotten the blonde woman was even there at all. "Oh... Quisty."

"You okay?"

"Huh?"

"You kind of... drifted off there. Very Squall-like." She crouched and picked up the papers off the carpet. "Here."

"Thanks." Xu took them, still looking vaguely ill. "Just distracted, I guess..."

"Are you sure that's all?"

"Yeah!" Xu's aura brightened, but Quistis could still see something uneasy in the depths of her black eyes. "Hey, listen I'm thinking of asking Nida out today!" She crossed her fingers while balancing her paperwork.

"Oh, good luck!" Quistis put on a brave face, completely masking her disappointment. In the few short months since Nida had asked her for that coffee date, she'd tried to avoid him. Sometimes it was easy, because she and Squall would be away on missions, and Nida would be gone with Irvine for the same thing, but other times, it was near impossible. Because she was trying to avoid him, they seemed to keep running into each other all over Garden, and things were always awkward because there was a high level of sexual tension between them. Nida had asked her a couple of times if she'd changed her mind about the coffee date, and she'd be on the verge of accepting him, but said no at the last minute, and always despised herself for it. It's not like she had a bunch of other men asking her out. The only guys she talked to on a regular basis were Squall, Zell, Irvine and Seifer, whom she would call on the phone much to Squall's jealousy and chagrin. And, none of them were potential boyfriends, even though Irvine did flirt shamelessly with her, and every other woman he laid his eyes on.

"You're sure you're okay? You're not coming down with anything, are you?"

"I'm fine," Xu muttered, suddenly frosty. "See you later."

Quistis nodded, watching Xu's back as she walked down the hall. It wasn't like Xu to keep things from her, so Quistis became very worried. She trotted after Squall, and found him already setting up in one of the old classrooms that had been refurbished into a computer lab SeeD could use for researching missions. Selphie waved at them from a terminal she was sharing with her partner Ida, and offered them some candy from the bag she was eating from, which Quistis waved away.

"What are you guys working on?" She called across the lab, voice booming.

"Escaped convict that left Dollet jurisdiction." Quistis called as Squall started pulling up articles from Dollet's newspapers.

"Boooorrrinng!" Selphie teased. "We have a guy that stole a truck of bombs en route between Timber and Fisherman's Horizon."

"Why don't you go over _there_ and talk to her, instead of shouting in my fucking ear?" Squall snapped.

Quistis's eyebrows shot up. "Well, who pissed in your cereal?"

Squall just ignored her, and jabbed the keyboard harder than necessary, the mouse skidding off its pad in his fervour.

"You and Rinoa get in a fight or something before she left?" She asked quietly. Rinoa had gone to Centra for a few days so she could study with Edea at the Orphanage.

"...Whatever."

"I'll take that as a yes."

"When are we not fighting? Sometimes I hate her."

"No, you don't."

"I just want to... pop her head off like a bottle cap."

"No, you don't," Quistis repeated evenly. Squall often ranted to her like this when he was mad with his girlfriend. She checked her watch. "We should hurry. The ferry will be leaving soon."

"And, who says I want to be Headmaster, anyway?" He whispered hotly.

"Yeah, well at least you don't have to stand back and grin and bear it like everything's fine while Zell asks her out on a date," she muttered, crossing her arms.

"He can have her."

"You don't mean that."

"You should just say yes to him," Squall said, scrolling through various newspapers, looking for relevant articles. "Nida's going to turn Xu down, no matter what you do. You shouldn't suspend your own happiness for what other people might think."

"Maybe that's something you should be directing at yourself," Quistis muttered under her breath. "What did this guy do, anyway?" She asked sulkily, wanting to change the subject so she could take her mind off Nida and his wonderfully warm brown eyes. She pulled out some more papers from their envelope. "Dominik Berrhaven. Serial rapist who graduated to murder. Six women so far. Charming."

"There you go. The perfect man for you."

"Squall, come on..." Quistis tapped the face of her watch. "Get this stuff printed off. I'll grab your travel bag when I get mine, and I'll meet you at the garage."

Squall didn't reply as he took papers as the printer spit them out. Most SeeD kept bags packed for when they had to leave quickly in just these situations, and Quistis knew exactly where Squall kept his.

"So, what makes the Dollet police think that this guy won't be on a train to Esthar by now?" Quistis asked in the car to Balamb Town.

"A couple of girls went missing from Abal Township, near the border with Galbadia." Squall handed Quistis the folder of papers he'd printed as he drove down the highway. "Two weeks apart. They think he's moving towards Deling City."

"We have to stop him before he gets there," Quistis muttered. "Once he gets there, we'd never find him." Deling was so densely populated, that anyone could disappear forever among the throngs of the city's underbelly.

"He's stopping along the way, so we'll catch him," Squall said with certainty. "There's a new missing person case in Vinziertown, just happened today."

"Hmm," Quistis read the files. "He'll probably keep her around for a couple days to rape and torture her, and then kill her. Let's hope Berrhaven stays with that pattern. Hyne, what an awful thing to say."

Since Squall drove too fast, they arrived in Balamb Town in record time, and were on their way to Dollet via sea within the hour. Whenever they were gearing up for a mission, Squall and Quistis reverted into themselves, and concentrated on getting into the right mindset for their task at hand. These kinds of missions were always hard, since they were often called in when time was almost up, and the fugitive was almost through local law enforcement's fingers.

Once in the city, a pre-arranged rental car was waiting for them, and Squall once again got behind the wheel without asking Quistis if she wanted to drive. Vinziertown was just across the Galbadian border from the former grand Dollet Empire, and about an hour's drive.

"They gave us the girl's address," Quistis informed him, opening a file left in the car by Dollet's police. She shook her head at the photograph. "Cute girl," she commented sadly. The woman wasn't much younger than Quistis and Squall, and had a very pretty smile with straight white teeth, and a dimple in her left chin. She had beautifully curly light brown hair, and Quistis tried not to think of what she could look like once this maniac was through with her.

"He'd have to take her somewhere secluded, or else everyone would hear her screaming. But, nearby because he knows people are looking for him."

"The local sheriff would have already talked to the family, so we should just scour the area to look for spots. His victims in Dollet were all found in shallow bodies of water. Ravines, creeks, reservoirs. We could start there."

"Let's stop here." Squall pulled their rented car into the parking lot of a small diner that was still open. "They'd probably know where to find anything like that."

They entered the diner, and Quistis went up to the woman behind the cash register while Squall hung back near the door. His arms wound up crossing over his chest, and his body language became closed and guarded as some of the diner's patrons took notice of him, and recognized his face. Nobody approached him for an autograph, but they did murmur behind their hands, and watch him intently, making him feel like some sort of zoo exhibit. He suddenly wanted a drink _very_ badly.

"Okay, she said that there's an old paper mill just outside town that we should check out."

"Wouldn't the cops have already done it?" Squall asked once out in the parking lot. He couldn't help but cast a look back through the large windows of the diner, and saw that people were still gawking at him. Many of them quickly huddled together, mouths moving rapidly.

"It doesn't hurt to check again," Quistis said wearily, holding up a napkin with her handwriting on it. "I got directions."

"Fine." Squall got behind the wheel, and followed Quistis's directions as she read them out to him.

"This must be it up here." Quistis pointed to a large four-story building. There were a few county sheriff cars parked out front.

"Are you the local sheriff?" Quistis asked one of the uniformed women who was talking on her car's radio.

"Yes, miss. How can I help you?" The stout woman asked briskly. "Wait... do I know you?"

"My name is Quistis Trepe, and this is Squall Leonhart. We're with SeeD."

The sheriff's dark eyebrows raised in recognition when she saw Squall, but she was polite enough not to make a scene over it. "Were you called in by the Dollet police?"

"Yes, officer. Do you have any leads on Berrhaven's whereabouts?"

"We had a description of the car he'd stolen from a used dealership in Dollet, but we found it abandoned just over the Galbadian border. The victim was taken as she was walking home from her job at a local produce store, and there are no witnesses to it. Nobody would have thought walking home at night around here would be dangerous."

"Are there any shallow bodies of water around this mill?" Quistis asked as Squall went up ahead, walking very slowly and quietly.

"A couple of old cesspools for the water waste run-off. Only half the mill is currently operational," the sheriff informed, tucking a lock of her greying black hair behind her ear. She looked exhausted. This was probably the first case like this she'd ever had to deal with. Quistis sympathized. "So, it's taking us a long time to go through all the old rooms, especially while it's so dark out. The place is falling apart, and those sections were scheduled to be condemned, anyway."

"We'll help, ma'am. Are there any officers in there now?"

"Two of them in the lower levels, and the usual security guards along with two more officers in the working parts of the mill. The higher floors are more dangerous..." She sighed. "We don't even normally carry guns around here."

"This is the kind of stuff we're trained for."

"I know Cathie," the sheriff murmured sadly. "My sons went to school with her all their lives."

"We'll find her," Quistis assured. "She says there's two officers in the lower levels of the condemned areas, and a couple of cesspools. Probably out back."

When they got closer to the old parts of the building, it really did look dangerous. "I don't know that we should split up. We might fall through the floor or something."

Squall nodded.

"Has anyone been upstairs yet?" Quistis asked when they found the two sheriffs, flashing them her SeeD badge.

"Not yet, ma'am. It's too hard to navigate at night."

"Allow us. Do you have radios?"

One of the officers handed her a walkie-talkie. "Be careful," he told her.

She nodded, and gestured for Squall to follow. They started to climb the stairs to the second floor as quietly as they could, but the rickety steps creaked loudly under their weight. Squall once more pulled out his pistol, and Quistis did the same with a gun that had been concealed at the small of her back. Both also readied magic. The second floor was much darker than the main level, so both pulled out small flashlights, moving slowly through the abandoned rooms. There were gaping holes in the floors that they had to avoid, and almost stepped in on a few occasions. Squall nearly walked right into one, and would have fallen if it hadn't been for Quistis grabbing his arm and pulling him back.

"Thanks," he whispered to her.

She just nodded, and they moved on. Squall held up a hand to stop his partner when he noticed some marks in the dust that caked the floor. It looked like something had been dragged through it. They'd passed quite a few discarded beer bottles, cigarette butts and discarded condom packages, so it could have been teenagers had recently been in here to party, but neither was taking any chance. They had to step over some collapsed beams and bypass a massive hole in the floor, following the drag marks on the ground.

Quistis suddenly gripped Squall from behind and pointed to some blood droplets mingled with the grime. They came to what had probably been some kind of hallway that branched into three rooms. The roof of one had completely collapsed, so it was impossible for anyone to get it there, especially if they were dragging around someone's dead weight. The second room was completely empty save an overturned chair and a rat scurrying away when Quistis shone her flashlight past it, and in the third room, Quistis's breath caught in her throat when she saw some legs sticking out from behind a dust-covered desk. She kept a lookout as Squall crept into the room. He rolled on the floor around the desk, aiming his gun at the legs, but the weapon clattered from his hands when he was looking at the corpse of Berrhaven, a huge hole in his head from what looked like a gunshot wound. The girl, Cathie, was pinned under his body, eyes open and glassy. Squall saw with relief that she was breathing, her mouth under some duct tape.

"Quisty!" He shouted, pushing Berrhaven off Cathie's legs. She was tied up tightly and breathing very heavily. She didn't make a move when Squall approached her and pulled the tape off her mouth and loosened her bonds. She was looking beyond him, and breathing heavily enough that Squall thought she might be in shock. Berrhaven's blood was all over her.

"Officer?!" Quistis called into the radio.

"Miss Trepe?" His voice crackled.

"We found the girl. She's alive, but needs a doctor. We think she's in shock."

"She's alive!" They heard the officer exclaim to his partner. "Right away!"

"I'll meet you at the top of the stairs and lead the paramedics here." She severed the radio connection and crouched beside Squall. "Will you be okay with her alone?"

"I have some cure magic in case she gets worse" Squall now looked at Berrhaven. Cathie obviously hadn't been the one to shoot him, since she'd been so thoroughly incapacitated. But then who?

"Cathie?" Squall asked, looking into her wide eyes. "Is that your name?"

She didn't reply, and just kept panting and staring into nothing. Squall couldn't be sure if she was injured, since there was a lot of Berrhaven's blood on her, perhaps masking some of her own injuries. And, he didn't want to start examining her because he wouldn't know what to look for.

"Cathie? My name is Squall. We're here to help you."

She gave no acknowledgement that she heard him.

Squall waited with her and awkwardly held her hand until Quistis came back with the paramedics, who immediately took to examining the poor girl. The SeeD stood back and let the team do their jobs, and started to examine how Berrhaven wound up dead.

"It looks like he was shot from over here" Squall got up and stepped backwards, following the possible trajectory of the bullet. It took him to a glassless window with a badly dilapidated frame. There were some deep scars in the rotting wood that Squall ran his gloved fingers over.

Quistis joined him, and splayed her fingers across the marks for a rough measurement. "You think a grappling hook?"

He nodded. "The police here wouldn't have grappling hooks," he whispered to her.

"Then... who...?"

Squall leaned out the window and looked down. "Might be some prints down there from whoever came jumping back down."

Quistis scuttled along the dusty floor, and looked at the soles of Berrhaven's and Cathie's shoes, then examined the floor, snapping some pictures with a mini-camera from within one of her pockets. "Most of these prints look like Berrhaven's. He must have been dragging Cathie, and she made those long marks. The other prints look like our shoes."

"No bullet casings, either."

Quistis kneeled fully on the ground. "You're thinking it was a professional job too, huh?"

He nodded once.

"The Solar System?" They started walking back downstairs so they could check out where Berrhaven's killer would have landed when jumping from the window.

"They _are_ apparently from Galbadia," Squall murmured. The parking lot was now illuminated by the flashing lights atop the ambulance.

"But, why would professional assassins go after a runaway rapist?" Quistis asked.

They crouched below the window, looking up at it. "Whoever it was would have slid down their grappling line, so wouldn't have left much in the way of a deep shoe print." Squall flashed his light along the ground, where there was a very slight indentation. "I'd say it was a man." He put his own foot next to the print for comparison. It was quite a bit longer than his own.

"Or, a rather gigantic female. We could be looking for an Adel impersonator!" Quistis joked.

Squall rolled his eyes, but did appreciate her breaking the tension. "There aren't even really any tread marks."

"Looks like whoever it was scuffed up the prints on purpose. That's not something an amateur does."

They searched around for more clues. More footprints, tire tracks, an abandoned vehicle, anything. But, there was absolutely no sign.

"Now what?" Quistis asked, highly frustrated after a night of searching for Berrhaven's killer and coming up with nothing. They'd reported their findings to the local police, who said they'd call with information about Berrhaven's demise.

"We did what we came to do," Squall replied. It was already evening by the time they came out of Dollet's police headquarters and had made arrangements for a hotel room, since the last ferry to Balamb had already left.

"You just want to let Berrhaven's killer go?" She asked.

"What can we do?" He asked, making a left-hand turn. "The trail's gone cold, and it's looking more and more like a professional hit, so there probably isn't even any trail to follow. Besides, whoever he is did us a favour, the way I see it."

"We could look at who would hire an assassin to kill Berrhaven."

"It's outside our contract obligations."

Quistis opened her mouth to argue, but he did have a really valid point. She then noticed their surroundings. "Squall, I think you made a wrong turn. I don't think this is the way to the harbour." She'd been to Dollet quite a few times, but didn't recognize this area. After a bit, she noticed there were a lot of young men and women their own age milling about or walking across manicured lawns, carrying books and backpacks. "Squall, where are we?" She asked with an arched eyebrow.

"Huh?"

She could only shake her head when she recognized some of the more famous landmarks of the prestigious University of Dollet. "Squall... You know, this borders on stalking. I take that back," she muttered as he pulled into a student parking lot. "This _is_ stalking."

He pulled out his cell phone, with Quistis's sapphire eyes burning into the side of his face as he dialled Seifer's number.

"_Speed dial_?!" Quistis hissed incredulously.

Seifer was in a school library with books piled up around him, covering pages and pages of his notebook with small handwriting.

"You're starting to come onto my side, ya know?!" Raijin chastised, pushing aside a small stack of books about lizards so he could open one of his own books about filmmaking, his own major. He had a portable DVD player with him, and was watching films with headphones, taking notes on camera angles and lighting.

Seifer muttered a pseudo-apology under his breath as he flipped back a few pages, going over something he'd written down earlier. He then jerked when he felt vibration in his pants. He pulled out his phone as Raijin started writing furiously, making small noises of appreciation at some particularly interesting camera angles in the suspense thriller he was studying. He frowned at the phone, expecting to have seen Fujin's number come up, but it was Squall's. He thought for a few moments on whether he should even bother answering, the phone still vibrating in his hand. His willpower and his emotions warred, and his willpower lost as he flipped open his phone.

"Hello," Seifer greeted blandly. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

"Hi," Squall replied quietly, in a way that made Seifer's heart beat a little faster, and his insides squirm. "What are you doing?" Squall was quite sure he sounded pathetic and desperate, but he honestly didn't care. If this had been a call to anyone else, he probably would have hung up as soon as they'd answered the phone, but things between him and Seifer had always been different, even before that day in Squall's office.

"Why?"

"I just... maybe you would... want to come to dinner with us," he mumbled.

"Oh, I don't know..." Seifer trailed off as Raijin listened intently. By his friend's body language and the tone of his voice, Raijin was pretty sure it was Squall on the other end.

"Bring Raijin and Fujin!" Quistis called into the phone, for which Squall glared mightily at her.

Seifer could hear some sort of hissed argument going on between them. "Do you want to go eat with Squall and Quistis?"

Raijin paused, his dark eyes showing his deep thought. "Okay. I guess that's cool, ya know?"

Seifer talked to Squall for a little while more, and made arrangements where they would meet up. As he talked, Raijin's eyes narrowed, until they were mere slits. Seifer had told him the whole business with Squall, and while Raijin's top concern was Seifer's happiness, he didn't think he would find such a thing in this particular circumstance. Sure, Squall and Seifer were compatible on so many levels - Squall was probably the _only_ person that Seifer Almasy could be compatible with, but there was also the matter that Squall had a girlfriend he wasn't in much of a hurry to break up with.

Half an hour later, they were all sitting down at a table in a casual coffeehouse just off campus. Squall's mood was deeply soured when someone came up to him and asked for a picture, then asked why Rinoa wasn't with him and Quistis was instead. Squall stormed past when they started to ask if he was dating Quistis now instead of Rinoa. It took Raijin longer to reach the table than anyone because he kept stopping when someone shouted hello to him. Fujin got there first, because she just ploughed her way through the crowd like a bull.

"SQUALL. QUISTIS." She greeted in her usual stiff, stilted manner.

"You look really nice!" Quistis commented, taken aback to see Fujin so gussied up in a very nicely tailored suit. She actually looked quite... beautiful. But, she was sure if she said something to the other woman, she'd get her head bitten off.

"What have you been doing?" Seifer asked as he sat down, conveniently beside Squall. He gestured to the grass stains on Quistis's white pants.

"Huh? Oh. I crawled around on some grass."

"Heh heh heh." Raijin snapped a piece of paper in his hand, then put it in his pocket for safe keeping. "Tia gave me her phone number, ya know?" He sat back, full of masculine smugness. "Hey, Quistis. You look great."

"Aww." She mockingly fluffed her hair.

"Squall," Raijin greeted, his tone immediately like a Trabian winter.

He furrowed his brow. Raijin had always been very friendly to him, so this cold shoulder was a little disconcerting.

"Who's Tia?" Quistis asked keenly as Seifer gestured to a server for a couple pitchers of beer.

"This girl I met at the gym. She always wears this hot white lace leotard..."

"Girl?" Squall echoed. "But... you and Fujin...?"

"What? Me and Fujin, ya know?!" He started laughing hard, which earned him a swift kick under the table, rattling the whole thing. "Ouch, that hurt!"

"GROSS," Fujin said, giving Raijin an unflattering sweep with her eye.

"Well, Tia doesn't think I'm gross."

"I wasn't the only one who thought it," Squall muttered into his chest, a flush coming to his cheeks.

Seifer couldn't help but chuckle. "You're so socially awkward," he said, half of him teasing, half of him finding it adorable.

"Oh, Hyne!" A voice screeched, practically right in Squall's ear. He jerked and looked up with any icy stare at the waitress who plunked the beer on their table. "You're Squall Leonhart, aren't you? Oh god, this is insane! Can I totally have your autograph?"

Squall continued to glare at her, but she was completely oblivious to his growing fury, bouncing on the balls of her feet.

"You and Rinoa Heartilly make such a good couple!" She breathed. "Where is she? Is she as nice as she seems when she does interviews? It must be so hard for her to be a Sorceress, but she has Sorceress Edea to help her, right? And, your dad is still so handsome!" She searched her apron and pulled out her waitress pad, which had a coffee stain on the top corner. "So, can I have an autograph, please?"

Squall just continued to stare at her, like an ice sculpture, frozen in incredulous disgust. It was a solid minute before the waitress seemed to realize that she'd pissed him off. "Oh, um... I'm sorry." She scurried away, her face getting redder by the second.

"Squall, you really should be more gracious about that kind of thing," Quistis chided as Squall poured himself a mug of beer. "You know, you _are_ famous now."

Squall muttered something illegible and contemptuous into his drink.

"So, why _are_ you here?" Seifer asked. "You seem to have conveniently dodged that question."

Quistis pursed her full lips. "Garden mission."

"Can you talk about it?"

"Well..." She trailed off. "I don't know..."

"We were sent to go after Dominik Berrhaven."

"Squall!"

"REALLY?" Fujin asked, voice completely deadpan even when she was interested in something.

"I guess you caught him if you're able to sit here with us," replied Seifer.

"I wouldn't exactly say that," Squall answered, looking at Seifer and finding that the other man was actually looking at him now. When their gazes met, a thrilling whoosh went up Squall's spine.

"Why not, ya know?!"

"He was already dead when we got to him. Murdered."

"Can't say I feel sorry for him," Seifer muttered. "Things were especially tense around here. The girls in school with breathe a lot easier now."

"MURDERED?"

"They said in the paper that he'd kidnapped a girl in Vinziertown, ya know?! Did she kill him and get away?" Raijin leaned in, interested enough that he'd forgotten to be frosty to Squall.

"No," Quistis answered. "She was alive, but still tied up. It looks like he was... assassinated," she finished, lowering her voice dramatically on the last word.

"Assassinated?" Raijin echoed with a sceptical raise of his pierced eyebrow. "It's not like the guy was a drug lord."

"He kept getting off on technicalities," Seifer pointed out, finally breaking his gaze from Squall's. "When justice failed, maybe a victim's family member wanted vengeance."

"Maybe it was the Solar System," Squall suggested, pouring another glass of beer, since he'd already finished his first.

"You really think they exist?" Seifer asked, meeting Squall's eyes once more. He could have stared into Squall's eyes forever...

"You don't?" Quistis asked.

Seifer shrugged, not breaking eye contact with Squall. Hyne, how he wished he could have just put his arm around Squall's shoulders right then, and just feel the warmth of Squall's side pressed against his own. Like they were actually a couple. Like Squall was his lover. It was something he'd probably wanted for as long as he could remember, but he'd been so arrogant and selfish and lost that it took Ultimecia for him to really look into himself and see what it is he really wanted out of life.

"Seifer?" Quistis asked when he didn't answer.

"It could just be a ploy by the Galbadian army to hide whatever sneaky things they're doing, or it could be some front by organized criminals."

"Garden's taking them very seriously," Squall murmured, feeling like he weighed nothing as he looked into the pale green of Seifer's eyes.

"Hey, Seifer... what's up?" A man greeted, sliding up to their table, a beer in his hand.

Seifer regretfully looked away from Squall's face. "Hello," he greeted stiffly. "Squall, Quistis... this is Evan Phaighn, a guy in my advanced biology class."

"Yeah, hi," he said to Squall, not even looking at him. Evan's dark eyes were glued to Quistis, who looked up, and then looked away again under the intense scrutiny. "Mind if I pull up a chair?"

"Actually, I do..." Seifer trailed off with an angry sigh as Evan pulled one up anyway.

"So, Quistis I've seen you in the papers a few times, but you're much prettier in real life."

She laughed. "Wow, did you really just say that?"

"Why, did it sound really pathetic?" Evan asked with a laugh.

"Just a little." Quistis bit her lip as he looked at her again in _that way_. Nida was the only other man in recent memory to look at her in _that way_. And, it's not like she could have Nida, no matter how much she may have wanted to go out with him.

"So, you really don't think the Solar System exists?" Squall asked, turning his body in his chair so he could talk to Seifer more directly. When their eyes met again, Squall just wanted to slither into his lap.

"There isn't any evidence."

"So, do you like being a common student?" Squall asked, his tone become more seductive.

"I'm not a common anything, Squall."

"No, you really aren't."

"Are you actually flirting with me?" Seifer whispered, oblivious that there were other people at the table. "Squall Leonhart, flirting? It's a day in history."

"You don't like it?"

"I didn't say that," replied Seifer so quietly that only Squall could hear him.

"Are _you_ flirting with _me_ now?" Squall whispered back, leaning in, his hand giving Seifer's thigh a very gentle yet _very_ suggestive touch.

"If you want me to." Seifer also leaned in, so their chests were almost pressed together.

"I want you to do more than that," Squall breathed, leaning in further, so their lips were getting closer together. "A lot more." His breath was now mingling with Seifer's.

Seifer gave his trademark grin, arm reaching up to touch the side of Squall's face, but he froze when he felt a sharp, intense pain in his leg when Fujin swiftly kicked him under the table, completely breaking the mood.

"Ouch," Seifer grit out through clenched teeth, glaring daggers at her. "What are you _doing_?"

She just shook her head at him. But, she'd been successful in her aim, which was to break up what had almost been yet another kiss between them. Squall realized what almost happened, and turned himself away from Seifer. They were in public. All it would have taken was one photograph to expose his actions to Rinoa, and destroy their relationship.

_Isn't that what you want, though?_ A tiny voice asked in his mind.

_I love Rinoa,_ he argued mentally.

_But, don't you love Seifer, too?_

Squall looked down at the table, his heart lurching. He felt like the world had been turned upside down with that realization, and he immediately reached for the alcohol, wrapping his shaking gloved hands around the mug. Was he really in love with Seifer, too? Seifer had started talking with Raijin about some school thing, but it just became white noise in Squall's ears, mashed together with the buzz of Quistis and Evan's conversation, which seemed to be getting a little more intimate.

Seifer continued to talk to Raijin about classes, his face feeling hot. He looked sidelong at Squall, who was hunched over his drink, emptying and refilling the glass faster than what was normal. Both times he'd seen Squall since he'd left Garden, he'd been drowning himself in booze.

Squall stood abruptly, almost knocking over one of the beer pitchers, which were now near empty thanks to him and him alone. "I'm going to go back to the hotel room," he muttered, stumbling away from the table. "You coming?"

"I'll catch up later," Quistis murmured, waving her hand without looking away from Evan, who was quite the interesting conversationalist. It was like talking with Irvine, but without the brotherly vibe.

Seifer opened his mouth to protest as Squall weaved through the crowd, but what could he say? Instead he just slumped in his chair, glaring at Fujin across the table because his leg still hurt from her kick. He wanted to just run after Squall and... _fight_ for him. Tell him that they were meant to be together, and that he should leave Rinoa. That Seifer wanted to be with him.

_So, why don't you?_ He asked himself angrily.

And, he honestly didn't have a response.

---

Squall lay awake, staring at the ceiling. It was well into the middle of the night, and even though he'd completely emptied the mini-bar of alcohol, he was wide awake. Thinking about Seifer. Thinking about Rinoa. Thinking about Quistis and wondering where the hell she was. It wasn't like her to stay out past three in the morning partying. But, if she was with Seifer, Squall had nothing to worry about. Seifer would never let anything happen to her. He reached across the bed for a discarded bottle of brandy, but when he went to take a swig, it was already empty. He found he was next reaching for his phone. He stopped himself halfway through dialling Seifer's number. What would he say? "I'm drunk. Come over and take advantage of me"?

He heard the door's lock clicking, and he sat up when it opened, bathing the dark room in the light from the hallway, silhouetting Quistis as she tried to tiptoe in. He had to move slowly, because he was so drunk that the room was spinning.

"Where were you?" He asked, waiting until she'd closed the door and was creeping to her bed before speaking.

She gasped. "Hyne, Squall! You scared me!"

"Were you out with Seifer all this time?" He asked, trying hard not to sound like a jealous girlfriend. But, even though he was stinking drunk, he knew he'd failed in that attempt.

"No," she answered. He could hear her boots hitting the carpet. "And, it fucking reeks in here. How much did you drink?" She turned on the nightstand lamp, causing Squall to have to fling his arm over his eyes. She could only shake her head and sigh "Oh, Squall" when she saw all the empty alcohol bottles.

"So, where were you then?"

"Just... out."

"With that guy?"

"...maybe." She slipped under the covers.

"Did you have sex with him?"

Quistis was silent for a while. "Would you say it was wrong if I answered 'yes'?" She asked.

Squall didn't answer because he'd passed out.

Quistis curled up under the thick duvet on her bed after she'd taken off her over clothes. She and Squall were at the point in their relationship that she really didn't mind if he saw her in her bra and panties, because there was nothing sexual to it at all. She started to feel a little guilty, thinking about Evan, and then thinking about Nida. But, she couldn't have sex with Nida, and it had been so long since any man had touched her. She started trying to rationalize her actions to herself, telling herself that she was allowed to have sex. She was single, right? Xu liked Nida, so he was off-limits, right? She told herself that she would not start to beat herself up over wanting companionship, and continued this argument with her conscience right until she fell asleep.

---

"I'm sure it's nothing serious," Quistis assured, starting to get a little exasperated with Squall. They were walking shoulder-to-shoulder down one of Garden's hallways as they always did, deep in conversation. If things were different, Quistis would have been really happy that Squall was so enamoured with Seifer and any little tidbit of information about him, and would have thought it was intensely cute. But, the whole fact that he still had a girlfriend that he claimed to love made her just want to wash her hands of the entire situation. She really wanted Rinoa to know the truth, but could never betray Squall and tell the woman herself.

Squall looked over when he saw a junior cadet and his friend whispering behind their hands, pointing at Squall. In the past week, he got that wherever he went in Garden. On Saturday night they'd had the graduation ball for the newest batch of SeeD, and Squall had gotten pretty hammered, and made a bit of an ass of himself. Of course, even people who weren't at the ball knew the entire story of him nearly passing out on the dance floor, and getting in a big shouting match with not only Rinoa, but a couple of new graduates. And, then he'd apparently thrown up into a planter according to rumour, but couldn't remember any of it.

"Don't you kids have anything better to do?" She asked, shooing them with her hands.

They just looked at Quistis and laughed, like they knew something funny they weren't telling her. She furrowed her brow as they ran down the hallway, looking behind them and laughing some more. "Squall, don't you think that you should... get some help?" Squall was quickly going from the most respected SeeD ever to the butt of people's jokes.

"For what?" He asked, crossing his arms as they walked. A SeeD pasting them wolf-whistled at Quistis, and his friend murmured something under his breath, that while Quistis couldn't hear it, she knew wasn't flattering.

"Oh, I don't know..." She trailed off, smacking his shoulder. "You can't remember making a complete asshole of yourself in a public place, completely sloshed out of your mind? Where's the Squall that would have despised anyone seeing even the smallest crack in his professionalism?"

"Hard to be professional when your face is on the front of every damn tabloid paper around," he hissed. The latest story was wondering if Squall and Quistis were having an affair. A few pictures had been taken of them on missions, claiming they were off on some clandestine rendezvous.

"Hey, Quistis! If I take you out, will you show me a good time?!" Someone shouted.

Quistis turned around, but couldn't see who the voice had come from. Some people milling about started laughing.

"Is there some practical joke going on?" She asked as they headed towards her office.

Squall shrugged. "Have you heard from him?"

"No!" Quistis snapped after she heard another wolf-whistle. "_What_ is going on?! And, it hasn't been very long. Seifer's just really busy. He pulls a lot of all-nighters. Or, maybe he doesn't want to talk to you after what happened in the coffee shop."

"Nothing happened..."

"Oh, please!" She reached out her hands, desperately wanting to throttle him. "You two were eye-fucking each other the entire time!" She stopped and put her hands on her hips. "Maybe he doesn't want to have something dangled in front of him that he can't have, hmm?"

"Hey, Quistis! Come to my room tonight! I know you love it dirty!" A SeeD candidate taunted as he walked past, giving her a degrading once-over. "Hey, it's the boozer and the slut!" He called, turning down a hallway, making mock-retching noises.

"I love it dirty...?" Quistis echoed, completely at a loss.

When they finally got to Quistis's office, they found Irvine leaning against the wall, obviously waiting for them.

"Oh, hi Irvine. What's up?" Quistis asked, pulling out her key ring.

Irvine's brow was furrowed, and he didn't smile or greet her with lots of flirtation like he normally did. "Quisty... have you seen this?" He held up his hand, which was closed around a magazine.

"Seen what?" She opened the door to her office.

"Hi, Squall."

Squall just nodded, cocking his head and standing in the back of the room as Irvine approached Quistis gingerly, like one would do if they were about to try and diffuse a bomb.

"This copy of the Deling Enquirer."

"I don't read that garbage." She sat down at her desk.

Irvine pursed his lips and unfurled the magazine. Emblazoned on the cover was a photo of what looked like Quistis and Evan Phaighn in his bedroom, taken by a hidden camera. Quistis's jaw dropped and she forgot how to breathe as the letters on the cover burned into her eyes. The loud red headline screamed "_My Hot One-Night Stand With Quistis Trepe!!"_ She slumped in her chair, unable to stand any longer.

Squall snatched the magazine from Irvine's hands, eyes narrowing as he looked at it. "Where did you get this?"

"There are hundreds of copies all over Garden. Quistis... is it true?"

She opened her mouth, but nothing came out. She could feel tears of humiliation growing.

"Who is this guy, anyway?"

Squall could only shake his head angrily when he opened the magazine to the article, and saw sub-headlines like 'How does Squall feel about this?' and 'Miss Prim and Proper likes it dirty!'.

"He... goes to school with Seifer..." she answered, her voice not sounding like her own.

Squall closed the magazine in disgust. Inside were raunchy pictures of Evan and Quistis having sex, with genitals and breasts blurred out.

"Well, I guess I know what everyone was laughing at now," she whispered, voice wobbling.

"Quistis..." Irvine trailed off.

"Can I be alone right now?"

"Oh, sure!" Irvine patted her on the shoulder and made a quick exit, looking over his shoulder at her in concern as he did.

"You going to be okay?" Squall whispered.

She just stared at the cover of the magazine, fingering the edges. He then did something he'd never done before. He bowed down and kissed her cheek. As he left, she slumped at her desk with her head in her hands, and dissolved into tears.

---

"Look, I don't have all day, all right?" Dolero Pfeiffer chomped on the end of his cigar as he rolled down the electric window on his car. His driver got out and opened his door, and he stepped out with his wool trench coat billowing around him in the wind coming off the Dollet Sea. "My wife is waiting for me. We have reservations, and she can be a real cunt when I miss dinner reservations."

"I'm sure she'll forgive you for this." Mr. Shibiro held up a black briefcase. Pfeiffer and Shibiro were meeting in the parking lot of a car parts shop in Dollet's Industrial park. The lot was empty because it was after hours, and the flooring warehouse next door shielded them from the bulk of street traffic. He snapped open the case on the hood of Pfeiffer's car, and inside were hundreds of glittering diamonds the size of walnuts.

Pfeiffer's eyebrows raised as smoke billowed around him from his cigar. "How much?"

"Now now, Mr. Pfeiffer. For quality stones like this, you'll have to expect to pay big gil."

"25."

"You jest, I'm sure." Shibiro snapped the case shut again. "Particularly when this particular transaction should be going to Zimmer right about now."

Pfeiffer's eyes were now slits. Zimmer was his major competition in Dollet's underground diamond smuggling ring. To steal some rocks right out from under his nose would be so sweet. "40."

"Now you're talking, Mr. Pfeiffer. A cashier's cheque can be forwarded to me through the Dollet National Bank, and the diamonds will be yours."

"They better be. I don't like double-crossers."

"For 40 million gil? That will make me pretty loyal to you." Shibiro tipped his hat to Pfeiffer. "I'll expect that cheque within three business days." He turned to go towards his own car, when his head suddenly exploded, the briefcase falling from his hand and clattering to the ground. Shibiro landed on top of it, blood spraying all over the parking lot.

"Shit, the cops!" Pfeiffer began to reach into his trench coat for his pistol, but a bullet caught him in the chest, blowing a fist-sized hole in it. Pfeiffer's driver looked around wildly for the source of the gunfire, and he too met with a quick, silent end.

On the roof of a window manufacturer across the street, a figure in black was unscrewing his sniper rifle, picking up the bullet casings. He moved with agile speed, like a noiseless shadow as he put the rifle in the fake bottom of a gym duffel bag, a couple of towels and a set of work-out clothes and sneakers over top of it. He cut across the lawns of some of the Industrial Park's businesses, not noticed by anyone until he melded seamlessly into the crowd, and got on a nearby bus. As he sat near the back on the way to a local gym, away from the other passengers, he pulled his phone out of his pocket, and dialled a very private and secure number, entering an access code that only he and the owner of that number knew.

"I'm done," he murmured.

"Pretty quick," replied the mechanically disguised voice of Sol, the head of the Solar System. "Did you leave the briefcase at the scene?" It was impossible to tell if Sol was male or female, young or old.

"Yes."

"Where?" Sol asked their assassin.

"It's under one of them."

"Good. The funds are being wired to your account. Pluto will be in touch when I need you again, Jupiter." Sol severed their connection, leaving a dead line.

Jupiter sighed as he snapped his phone shut and put it back in his pocket. He watched Dollet's streets go by, waiting for his stop. He pulled the cord when he got near the gym, and hopped off with a few other passengers. He just hoped their wasn't a big crowd for the treadmill today.

"Oh, hey Seifer!" A girl from one of his classes called, wearing tennis whites and looking like she'd just had a long, sweaty match. She waved as he approached her. "You working out today?"

"Hopefully," he replied in passing, waving to her as he went into the men's locker room, the pieces of the sniper rifle pressing against his leg from within the gym bag.


	4. Chapter 4

****

Chapter 04

Quistis couldn't go anywhere in Garden without people staring at her, or pointing and laughing. It seemed like only the Trepies that were still in Garden bothered to argue with people making catty remarks about her, but even their protests were starting to sound feeble. Normally, Squall was the person she spent the most time with, but now he was the only one she even talked to at all. She'd even shied away from Zell, Rinoa, Selphie, Irvine and Xu. She'd locked herself in her room for days, too humiliated to show her face. When Seifer had called her in concern, she'd started sobbing so hard that she had to hang up on him.

"Why did you sleep with him?" Squall had asked her one day, sitting on the floor beside her bed.

Quistis was curled up on the bed in a baggy pair of flannel pyjamas, her hair lank around her shoulders, clinging to a stuffed Mr. Ultros - a cartoon purple octopus from a children's program popular when they'd been kids. She could smell alcohol on him like an aura.

"What do you mean, why?" She'd snapped, voice shaking tearfully. "Because I was _lonely_!"

All she'd wanted was some companionship, someone to show her some desire instead of thinking of her as big-sister Quisty. What was so wrong with that? And, why had Evan done that to her?! Had he planned it right from the start? She felt so dirty and used. People she'd thought of as casual friends were now looking at her like she was some whore, and it was hard to not follow suit and start thinking it about herself.

Today was the first day she'd actually left her room in a while, and with each step, she just wanted to turn tail and hide back under her covers with Mr. Ultros. The hushed laughter from some of the people she passed sounded like bombs, and aggravated the migraine that had been growing behind her eyes since she'd first laid eyes on the Dollet Enquirer.

"Hey, Quistis!"

"WHAT?" She snarled, whirling around. She didn't want to fucking hear how she was a big, cum-hungry slut. She didn't want to have someone make lewd propositions to her. She didn't want to have anyone else ask her if she was fucking Squall, too. "Oh, Nida..." She flushed. "Uh... sorry," she mumbled into her chest, finding it hard to meet his eyes.

"How... how are you... feeling?" He asked. "I guess that's a stupid question," he added under his breath.

"Awful," she admitted, still looking down at her shoes. "See you later." She started to walk past him, but Nida reached out and gently gripped her arm.

"Quistis, wait..."

"Better be careful," she muttered, still not looking up. "If you touch me, you might get a venereal disease."

Nida made a pained face. "Don't tell me you're listening to that bullshit."

"It's hard not to, especially even when your friends look like they're starting to believe it."

"They don't believe it. I don't. That guy probably planned it from the start, or he realized how much money he could make if he sold to the right place."

"What does it matter? The end result is still the same. Everyone thinks I'm just some whore now."

"You aren't." Nida gripped her shoulders and shook them. The fierceness in his tone made her finally look up into his eyes. "And, you shouldn't ever say that." He pulled her a little closer. "And, _I_ don't think that."

Quistis had to purse her lips to hide that they were starting to tremble. "Please don't." She tore her arms out of his grip. "What about Xu?"

Nida groaned. "Quistis... I don't care about her. Not like that, anyway."

"But, she cares about _you_." Her face crumpled when Nida's hand reached up and brushed a lock of hair off her cheek. It was still damp from the first shower she'd had in days. "Please, don't."

"Quisty..." He murmured. "I really care about you." He released her arms, but still kept standing close to her. "I just want you to know that." He gave her a small smile that was very tight and sad. He ran a hand down her arm, and then parted from her, leaving Quistis standing in the hall, feeling more alone than if she'd just stayed in her room with her stuffed animal.

She started shuffling back the way she came. This had been such a bad idea. She should have just stayed in her room. Some male student whistled at her and shouted a derogatory comment, which made her eyes sting and burn. She couldn't help but look up for the source, and saw Xu standing in the archway of a bisecting hall, holding a folder in her hands, her face like a statue. She was flanked by her assistants - one male SeeD by the name of Astor who'd graduated the same year as she and Quistis. He was very tall and thin as a rail, and was a magic specialist. His dagger weapons were mostly just for show. The other was a female SeeD named Luchia who'd graduated three years before them. She had coppery red hair and an angular face that made her look very stern. Her cobalt blue eyes were cold like ice. She used an electrified staff as a weapon, and was quite good with explosives.

"Quistis," she called, a business-like bark. "I wanted to talk with you about the Berrhaven case." She gestured for Astor and Luchia to stay where they were.

"Oh..." She trailed off. Xu's demeanour was pure winter. Quistis realized that Xu must have seen her and Nida talking. "Xu, listen... about me and Nida, it wasn't..."

"The autopsy reports came back," Xu said sharply, as if Quistis hadn't spoken at all. "The bullet that killed him was a standard military issue. There are no fibres on him, aside from the girl's. He'd been dead for possibly an hour before you and Squall found him."

"Is the girl okay?" Quistis asked, Xu a blurry mass of colour because of all the tears in her eyes. "Cathie?"

Xu cocked her head and looked at Quistis. She truly looked awful, and Xu's coldness melted. "She'll be fine," she said more gently. "She's been released from the hospital, and she'd be back to normal after some therapy. Look, I... Quisty, I'm sorry. I saw you with Nida..."

"And, you thought I was trying to seduce him because I'm a big slut." There was no sarcasm in her voice. The way Quistis said it... she was really starting to believe it about herself.

"I guess I'm just upset, you know... since he said no to a date with me."

"I'm sorry." The apology was addressed to Quistis's boots. "I'm I'm going to go back to my room. Thanks for letting me know about Cathie, Xu."

"Oh, Quisty, wait...!" Xu called, but her friend paid no attention.

---

"Are you sure that won't be too heavy?" Seifer asked as he checked a list of supplies he and Raijin were going to need. They'd decided to team up for term projects. Seifer was going to Centra to study the behaviour of indigenous reptiles in their natural habitats - particularly tonberrys, while Raijin was going to film the process, documentary-style. "Especially if you're trying to haul ass away from a nesting Ruby Dragon?"

"Huh?" Raijin murmured, distracted by the newspaper. "Stupid cops," he muttered under his breath.

"Are you sure it won't be too heavy?" Seifer repeated, tapping his pen on the paper in growing annoyance.

"What are we paying for?" Raijin questioned from behind the paper.

"Our... coffee and muffins...?" Seifer answered, really not sure what Raijin was asking exactly.

"I mean the police, ya know?!" The big man snapped the paper. "Can't they do anything right? No wonder crime around here is so brutal. They can't catch a serial rapist, ya know?! They can't stop all those counterfeit gil from circulating. The meth-heads are worse than ever! They can't even find a giant satchel of diamonds, even though it's obviously that Zimmer guy who's behind the whole thing! Ooh, PuPu!" He started reading the PuPu the alien comic strip that was featured in the paper daily.

"Oh, right..." Seifer trailed off. He didn't have to bother hiding any guilt on his face because Raijin was still very immersed in the newspaper. It wasn't guilt over killing some diamond smuggler that ate away at Seifer. It was that he was lying to Raijin and Fujin about his life, and the whole truth behind it. There was no way he could ever tell them that the Solar System was in fact, real, and that he was Jupiter. They probably wouldn't even believe him, and if they didn't know anything, nobody could try to get information out of them.

Seifer had been approached a few months after leaving Garden, piss broke and getting desperate. A man he only knew as Pluto had given him a card with a telephone number on it, and that was the first time he'd ever talked to Sol. Part of Seifer couldn't believe that he would get involved in this whole thing, that he would actually agree to make money from killing people. But, he also felt that it was the only thing he _could_ do with his life. He felt trapped by his time with Ultimecia, and that she had tarnished him forever, so this was a natural career choice for someone like him. Later, he'd come to also meet Eris, women who served the same purpose at Pluto - the dwarf planets, Sol's messengers. His whole zoology career was just a ruse to hide what he was really doing. Studying animals gave him a good excuse to travel around if the need should arise, and schooling was something he could ditch for a few days if he got a job from Sol, and nobody would really notice his absence.

As soon as Squall and Quistis mentioned that Berrhaven had been assassinated, he knew it had been the Solar System, though he'd personally had nothing to do with it. But, there were seven other assassins under Sol's command. Assassins who went by codenames like Saturn, Mercury or Gaia. Assassins he would never meet. Uranus could be sitting in this coffee shop right now, right beside Jupiter, and neither would ever know.

Raijin looked up from the paper, and saw that Seifer had gotten noticeably quiet and thoughtful. "You're thinking about Squall, aren't you?" He asked, sighing.

"Huh?" Seifer re-focused his peridot green eyes and looked at his friend. "Oh, yeah... I guess..." He lied. But, now that Raijin mentioned Squall's name, it was impossible for Seifer _not_ to think about him. He knew it was wrong to flirt with Squall over the phone, and to accept his none-too-subtle advances, but he just didn't have that much willpower. Maybe if it were any other man, Seifer could have tried a little harder to resist. But, Squall... well, it was Squall. The only person who ever really understood him. Even though neither of them could understand themselves.

"I'm sure you were too busy imagining him undressed, but did you notice how much he drank, ya know?"

Seifer cocked his head. "I did."

"Seems kinda weird, ya know?! The gossip magazines said he made a big fool out of himself at the SeeD graduation ball."

Seifer leaned back in his chair and pursed his lips. "Squall isn't the kind of person who can handle fame very well."

"You should just leave well enough alone."

"I know, I know," Seifer muttered into his coffee.

"You should stop thinking with your dick, ya know?!" Raijin chided gently.

"More like I should stop thinking with my heart," the tall blonde sulked.

"You're too fucking romantic for your own good."

"Shut up."

"It's one of your best qualities, ya know?!"

"And worst, too?" Seifer asked rhetorically, sipping his coffee. It was starting to get cold, and Raijin was becoming a total lost cause, now absorbed in reading the comic strips.

"Psst, Seifer!" A classmate hissed from a nearby table to get his attention. He started pointing to the door. Seifer's scarred brow contracted in confusion and he turned to look what the guy was pointing at. His whole body froze when he saw Evan Phaighn standing near the doorway, chatting with some people. Since the article about him and Quistis got published, he hadn't shown his face in class. Seifer had gone actively looking for him a couple of times, but he'd gone into hiding. He most certainly got some kind of handsome reward for the photographs, so didn't really need school. Seifer hadn't expected to see him in a place so close to campus, but perhaps the desire to brag was just too great.

Someone near Evan elbowed him, and everyone in the café went still when Seifer rose from his chair. The sound of it clattering to the floor was deafening since nobody was even daring to breathe. Many of the faces looking between Seifer and Evan were full of eagerness. They wanted to see Ultimecia's Knight unleash the temper that had made him so notorious.

"Oh, hi Seifer..." Evan trailed off as the blonde weaved through people, shoving them out of the way as necessary. Even immediately bolted out the door, and Seifer started running after him, nearly knocking down an onlooker in the process. Evan was quite tall and had a long stride, but Seifer was trained for this kind of thing, and was a very fast runner. It didn't take long for him to catch up to Evan, and he tackled him to the grassy surface of a nearby hill. His fists immediately started making contact with any part of Evan's body he could find. People were milling around them in a loose semi-circle and chanting, while others gasped in dismay at the sound of two of Evan's ribs snapping.

"Stop!" Raijin shouted, getting his burly arms around Seifer from behind, using all his considerable strength to drag his friend off Evan, who was sobbing in pain from the broken ribs, and what also looked like a dislocated wrist. "STOP IT!" Raijin yelled when Seifer lunged at Evan again. He got between the two men, and grabbed the front of Seifer's shirt, shaking him hard enough to nearly give him whiplash. "You want to get arrested, ya know?!"

Seifer yanked himself out of Raijin's grasp, huffing loudly through his nose, glaring daggers at Evan, who'd curled up into a ball, cradling his wrist against his chest. There was blood smeared all across his face from a nosebleed, and one of his eyes was already puffing shut. He stormed off, being careful to kick Evan as he walked past, a perfect image of towering, cold fury. Quite a few of Seifer's classmates would often forget what he'd done during his period under Ultimecia's influence, but in a moment like this, it was easy to remember the young man who'd commanded the Galbadian army to destroy his former home and kill anyone in their path.

Raijin looked down at Evan as if to help him, but just threw his hands up and went after Seifer, some people making disappointed noises that the fight was over so quickly. "What the fuck were you thinking?" Raijin asked once he'd caught up with Seifer. He gripped his friend's shoulders and forced him to stop walking.

Seifer slapped Raijin's hands away, still livid. "What do you mean 'what was I thinking'?" He hissed. "I was thinking about Quistis!"

"I care about her too, but she would not approve of this. Especially not after you've worked so hard to start your life over."

Seifer barked out a humourless laugh. If only Raijin knew the hilarity of what he'd just said. "That fucker _ruined_ her reputation."

"And, this isn't going to help fix it, ya know?!"

Seifer could only mutter angry obscenities under his breath. "I don't need a fucking voice of reason right now, all right?" He ran shaking fingers through his closely buzzed hair and stormed off, leaving Raijin standing alone, shaking his head.

---

Squall's heart leapt in his throat when Seifer actually answered the phone, rather than letting it go to his voice mail.

"This really is bordering on stalking, Squall."

"So, you _have_ been avoiding me." Squall glared at a noisy seagull nearby. Of course, this did nothing to quiet the bird as its pals squawked along with it. He was sitting in a quiet café on Balamb's harbour with Zell and Irvine. They were there for a late lunch, so it was mostly deserted. Zell was across the patio, chatting with someone he knew from town who was commenting on his new, rather dramatic mohawk, and Irvine was on his phone, standing near the edge of the dock, as engrossed in his conversation as Squall was in his own.

"Most people would take the hint and stop calling," Seifer muttered waspishly.

"I just wanted to make sure you... were... okay..." Squall trailed off awkwardly.

"What did I say about you saying couple-y things to me?"

"Well, are you?" Squall asked, ignoring Seifer's venom. "Where are you, anyway?" The background sounded a lot windier than an apartment or library should have been.

"Galbadian desert. Just been driving around on my bike for the last couple of days," Seifer admitted. He was on a lonely road not far from the old Galbadian missile base, leaning against his motorcycle. "There's lots of interesting reptiles around here, so it's a good distraction." That was partly true. There _were_ lots of snakes in the desert, and they were all equally fascinating, but he'd also gotten a visit from Eris for a job in Deling City to kill some woman. Seifer didn't know the details. It would have made it harder to kill her. He could only make the educated guess that her husband had wanted her out of the way for some reason or another.

"Are you being thrown out of school?"

"No. Evan's not pressing charges, surprisingly. But, people are starting to treat me like a pariah again. Nothing out here cares that I used to work for Ultimecia. But, at least it kicked Quistis out of the papers, eh? She should be pleased."

Seifer was being crucified in the media. Even the reputable papers had editorials wondering if he was safe to be around his fellow University of Dollet students. They brought up his past disciplinary record within Garden, and the things he'd done while under the Sorceress's command. They stopped just short of calling him a war criminal. And, the tabloids were much worse. Printing vicious and vile stories, attacking everything from his expulsion from Garden, to his orphan status and homosexuality.

"She's pretty angry with you, actually. She thinks it was stupid of you to ruin your reputation when hers was already ruined beyond repair."

"Yeah, that sounds like a Quisty pity party." Seifer watched a lizard sunning himself on a big, flat rock, forked tongue coming out to taste the air for the scent of prey.

"She has a right to feel sorry for herself. Things aren't great here."

"She should get angry."

"Yes, because that's worked out so well for you so far."

"It always fails when you try to be funny. Besides, my reputation was already shit anyway, so tell her she shouldn't worry. I'm used to ruining my life. What about her, though? I know Garden would think of this whole mess as a black eye on their reputation." His tone became rather scathing, as it often did when he talked about Garden.

"So far, Cid hasn't mentioned anything. To either of us."

"Yeah... you can't stay out of the tabloids yourself, there."

"...Whatever. Though, I guess you really beat the shit out of him."

"Are you _turned on_?" Seifer asked incredulously.

"I dunno," Squall mumbled. "As long as it's not me, maybe"

"Stop," Seifer said, voice no longer playful. "Just. Stop. I can't fucking deal with this, Squall. I don't need you teasing me on top of all my other problems. I'm the one that's being treated like a criminal, and Evan's some kind of fucking martyr victim. But, that doesn't matter because I'm Ultimecia's Knight. I'm a raving psychopath, and I don't deserve a second chance. Yeah, I know I fucked up. I fucked up royal, but I am sorry. And, I am trying."

"I don't mean to tease you," Squall answered. "It's just..."

"Yeah. Whatever, Squall," interrupted the other man. "I wish I had your problems. You try to make yourself more complex than you actually are. At least you don't get spit on just for walking into a class you're taking."

"You don't need to lash out at me."

Squall's tone was pretty emotionless, but Seifer knew him well enough to hear the irritated undercurrent.

"Gee, I wonder why I could ever want to do that?" Seifer drawled sarcastically. "Since you give me more headaches than I really need right now."

"I'm just trying to be your friend."

"No, you aren't. Do you flirt with Zell or Irvine more than you talk to them? Have you ever made out with them? Are you stringing them along, giving them hope that there could be something between you?"

"I'm not--"

"Have you told Rinoa yet?" Seifer angrily interrupted.

Squall didn't answer.

"Fuck you."

"You're acting like an ass."

"Yeah, that's pretty typical for me, isn't it? I'm going to be in Centra for a couple of months, so don't bother trying to call me. And, even if you did, I wouldn't answer."

Squall opened his mouth to give some sort of angry response, but the line clicked, leaving him listening to dead air. He clenched his jaw and closed his phone, staring off into space and getting angrier and angrier. He'd been trying to reach out to Seifer because he knew what it felt like to have your name dragged through the mud on the cover of pretty much every paper in the world. And, what did he get? Loads of typical Seifer Almasy attitude and arrogance. Why did he ever think he could be attracted to him? He hadn't changed at all.

"Whoa, who were you talking to?" Irvine asked, coming back to the table, noting Squall's furious expression. His jaw was clenched so tight that Irvine thought all Squall's teeth would shatter at any moment.

"Who were _you_ talking to?" Squall asked with a cocked eyebrow, his pouty mouth drawn in a thin, angry line. He was quite certain the other man hadn't been talking to Selphie.

"Touché." Irvine said no more on the subject. "How's Quisty doing?" He asked instead. "She won't let me see her, and I don't want to push, but I am worried."

"She's not great," Squall replied, still fuming.

"The guy got what was coming to him, though." Irvine chuckled, and checked out the waitress's ass as she came near their table. "I would have loved to have been there when Seifer kicked the shit out of him. I'm glad I've never been on the receiving end of that. Right, Zell?"

"Huh?" Zell asked when he came back to the table. "I make a point of never agreeing with someone off the bat."

"Oh, just talking about Seifer beating up that asshole that hurt Quistis, and I'm glad he never beat me up."

"I wish I could say the same," Zell muttered darkly, opening his menu.

"Can we _not_ talk about him?" Squall snapped.

"Gladly!" Zell exclaimed cheerfully as the waitress came to take their drink order, which took longer than it should have with Irvine flirting with her the entire time. "I'm surprised you haven't been slapped with a sexual harassment suit," Zell muttered with an eye roll. But, his amusement was only half-hearted. Squall had ordered double scotch, and was already pulling a flask from within his jacket, a habit that was sadly becoming reflex.

"Squall..." Irvine began gently. "Don't you think you should get some help?"

He just glared at them in response.

"Garden will pay for any rehabilitation, Squall."

He just continued to glare at them with an iciness that would have made Shiva herself proud.

"We just want to help," Zell uttered quickly.

"Well, I don't need help," Squall replied, putting his flask away. "Because I don't have a problem."

"Squall..." Irvine began.

"Is this why you asked me to lunch?" Squall interrupted, his voice warming. It wasn't taking much for him to get angry at his friends, since he was already there from his conversation about Seifer. "To blindside me?" He just shook his head and rose from his chair.

"Wait!" Zell reached out and grabbed Squall's wrist in his strong grip. "Wait, okay? We're sorry. Just... stay."

It took a few moments, but Squall eventually slumped back down in his chair.

"So... how's Quisty doing...?" Zell wondered.

"I already asked that," Irvine murmured.

"Well, how was I supposed to know?"

"How do you think?" Squall asked tartly.

"Oh." Zell frowned deeply. "Do you think Cid is going to do anything...?"

"Who knows," Irvine murmured. "But, now that NORG's gone, they're a lot more relaxed about some of those conduct rules."

"He says authoritatively," Squall muttered.

Irvine and Zell blinked, frozen for a moment in the face of Squall being humorous. Even though they'd heard him crack jokes before, every time it seemed really strange and shocking. "Anyway..." Irvine continued. "Cid better not suspend Quistis for something like this. It wasn't her fault. Besides, she's allowed to have sex once in her life."

"Is that who you were talking to?" Zell asked conversationally to Squall, waving at someone. "Quisty?"

Squall grunted in response, Irvine's periwinkle eyes narrowing in deep thought as he studied Squall's face.

"So, I think it's over with Valeria," Zell muttered as the waitress brought their drinks over. He was referring to the girl who worked in the library.

"How come?" Irvine asked.

"Well, our first few dates were really awesome, but as we got to know each other, we just don't have any of the same interests. We only ever really talk about the library."

"So, you're breaking up?" Irvine asked.

"I think so."

"Can I ask her out?"

"What?!" Zell asked, brow contracting. "What about Selphie?"

Irvine just shrugged.

"You're a pig."

"You sound like Nida," said Irvine with a wink.

Squall watched them talked, but his mind was wrestling between thinking about Seifer, and thinking about Quistis. Quistis was so hard on herself that in this situation, she was her own worst enemy. Squall wondered if she would _ever_ be able to get over. Maybe she would remain alone now, not letting anyone close for fear of something like this happening again. And, she was also denying herself happiness by not being with Nida because of her loyalty to Xu.

_What about you?_ A tiny voice inside him asked.

_Shut up_, Squall replied internally. _Okay, so we shared a couple of kisses, and they were incredible, and sex with him would probably be amazing, but he's a complete asshole. He's selfish and arrogant and doesn't care about anyone other than himself. And you came close to ruining your relationship with Rinoa because of it. Because of him?! Are you fucking serious? He's such a prick, and she's so sweet and kind and beautiful. You really are a moron, huh?_

_But, he does have a reason to be mad at you..._

_Shut up! _He argued.

Squall just ignored his inner voices, and came back to the outside world to find both Zell and Irvine staring at him.

"What?"

"You've been staring off into space for, like... fifteen minutes," Zell answered. He gestured to the table, where Squall's pasta had already been placed, cooling rapidly.

"...oh." He started eating, only half-heartedly joining in on Zell and Irvine's conversation, which was mostly about women.

"You going to come back to Garden?" Zell asked when they'd finished their lunch and the cheque came. The waitress had undercharged them, thanks to Irvine's determined flirting.

"No, you go on ahead." Squall reached into his coat, and Zell was going to protest him drinking even more, but instead he was pulling out his cell phone. He gave an over-the-shoulder wave as Zell left. Irvine was still hanging around, talking the waitress, standing quite close to her and flirtatiously playing with the pendant she wore around her neck.

"Squall!" Rinoa greeted when she picked up the phone. "What's up?" She was sitting in Squall's dorm room on his bed, or rather their bed, reading some books about Sorcery that Edea let her borrow.

"Are you busy?"

"Not really." She tucked some highlighted hair behind her ears. "Why?"

"I was just wondering if you wanted to come into town. We could go to that historical costume exhibit you wanted to see at the museum."

"Really?" Rinoa asked eagerly, sitting up. "Why?" She asked, suddenly serious. "Are you sick?" She stopped short of asking how drunk he was, though she was kind of tempted.

"I just wanted to spend time with you. But, if you don't want to, that's okay. I'll see you later."

"Wait, wait!" She exclaimed. "You're teasing me, aren't you?"

"Maybe. But, you can accuse me all day until the museum closes, or you can come down here. I'm at the Tidal Café."

"I'll be there in half an hour!" She promised, hanging up the phone. "Angelo!" She called to her sleeping dog, who lazily opened an eye and glared at her mistress for waking her. "Angelo, come on. You have to go to the bathroom now." She urged Angelo outside to do her business, all atwitter. It wasn't often that Squall wanted to go on a date. And, it was even rarer that he would instigate one. "Hurry, hurry!" She bossed, Angelo barking in growing annoyance.

"Oh, now... Squall actually asked me on a date, so don't be like that. I'll bring you back some treats, okay?"

Angelo flopped down on her dog bed, looking up at Rinoa in a way that said if Rinoa didn't keep her promise, she'd be angry.

Squall sat at the café, waiting for his girlfriend and watching the ocean. Fishermen were out in their boats, hauling in their catches. He was still angry with Seifer and chastising himself for ever thinking that there might have been something beyond lustful curiosity. Like what? Love? Yeah, right. He was willing to ruin what he had with Rinoa for one fuck? He could only roll his eyes at himself.

He looked over to the small parking lot when he heard the squeal of tires. A cute little bright blue convertible pulled to a quick stop, a gift from Rinoa's father for her recent birthday. She came sailing out of the car, ran over to Squall, and threw herself in his arms.

"And, ten minutes to spare!" She chimed, holding out her wristwatch so Squall could see.

"Hyne, you weren't kidding." He gave her a small smile which melted her right into her sandals. He then leaned in and gave her a soft, lingering kiss on the lips. It further turned her into goo, but it also surprised her. Squall rarely kissed her in public.

"A date _and_ a kiss in public?" Rinoa asked with a cocked eyebrow. "What's the catch?"

"I just wanted to spend some time with you," Squall answered, brushing away his internal feelings of guilt. He kissed her again, and took her hand as they started walking further into town.

She smiled widely and bit her lip from sheer happiness, briefly resting her chin on his shoulder so she could kiss his cheek and breathe in the smell of his cologne, which was sadly mingled with the undercurrent of alcohol. "I'm glad! I wish we had more time to do this stuff, what with you always on missions with Quistis..."

"It's my job," he murmured, picking up on a change of inflection in Rinoa's voice, even though it was minute. He leaned over and kissed her again.

"I'm still half-wondering if your body has been possessed by an alien or something. Oh, can we stop by the pet store, please? I promised Angelo I would get her some treats, since I kind of had to harass her out of a nap before I could leave."

"Fine." He watched Rinoa talk some more about her beloved dog, her words mingling with the ocean breeze. This was nice, spending time with her. She looked very pretty in a scoop-neck tee that was such a pale green it was almost white, and a tailored pair of black linen slacks. Her smile and laugh were infectious, and his hand felt warm where it was touching her skin. Not just because of her body heat or even her magic, but also because of her loving, kindly aura. He wished that he could be as content in his own body as she was in hers. The world wasn't some frightful place to her, and she wasn't shy about anything. And, if she _was_ afraid, she took it in stride. She faced everything bravely, even when she was terrified. It was one of the many things he greatly admired about her, and also envied.

Rinoa looked over casually at Squall, and saw such a complex expression on his beautiful face that it made her story about Angelo die on her lips. "Squall?"

"Hmm?"

"You look so distant."

"...oh. Just thinking."

"About what?"

He shrugged. "Nothing, really."

Rinoa's brows contracted. "Honey tell me what you're thinking."

"I'm not thinking anything," he answered, more coolly than he'd intended.

"Squall..."

"I'm sorry," he quickly apologized, stopping their slow walk to the museum so he could look into her warm eyes. "Really. Just... it wasn't anything profound, okay?"

"Even if it wasn't, I still would like to know what's on your mind. I want to know everything about you. Even the stupid, boring, everyday stuff!"

Squall just shrugged and kissed her again, though he wouldn't answer her question. Rinoa didn't want to start yet another argument, especially when things were so heavenly between them, so she kept quiet. She pursed her lips together so she could keep the ghostly memory of Squall's touch on them. One thing she was starting to realize, that someone like Seifer or Quistis already knew, was that Squall was a lot more sensitive than he made himself out to be. While she always wanted to get her feelings out in the open, Squall felt so deeply that he wanted to keep a lot of things to himself to avoid getting hurt. So, instead she leaned in close to him, and let some of her Sorcery flow up his arm in a gesture of love. Edea had been teaching her that a Sorceress's magic wasn't always about flashy spells and defeating evil-doers. It was about _being_ magical in every aspect of your life, and that letting some of it flow out as emotional extensions was as natural as a smile or a laugh, or even a kiss. Rinoa hoped that Squall could feel her love for him in that buzz of magic, and that someday he would start to open up to her.

---

"Quistis? Please, may I come in?"

Quistis looked up, surprised to hear Cid's voice coming through the closed door to her office. She'd been hiding out in there, since everyone kept coming to her room, asking if she was okay. She was slumped at her desk with the lights out, trying not to think of the ruin her life had become.

"Quistis? I know you're in there."

"Come in," she called, voice cracking from misuse.

"Were you sitting here in the dark?" Cid asked, turning on the light.

Quistis blinked and squinted until her eyes adjusted.

"You weren't at any of the SeeD meetings..." Cid placed a folder on the desk between them. "Neither was Squall. I've picked out your new assignment personally."

"Assignment?" Quistis echoed as Cid sat down.

"You're still an active SeeD, and with a few retirements this year, we're short-handed, so even though I feel for your emotional situation, we need you."

"You're giving me a mission?" She asked, unable to wrap her brain around it. "But... aren't I suspended?"

"Suspended?" It was Cid's turn to be confused. He pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "Why would you think that?"

"Because my conduct is against Garden regulations regarding the public reputation of SeeD and this school," she recited. She'd had to give that little speech to many a student during her short tenure as an Instructor.

"Those were NORG's guidelines more than they were mine." He cocked his head, his demeanour totally fatherly, and not that of Headmaster at all. "How could I suspend you when you're already suffering so much? Besides, I'm not completely old fashioned. I know you're an adult and have sexual urges..."

"Headmaster..." Quistis interrupted miserably.

"And, I'm going to stand up for you. Not only because I care about you, Quistis, but because I feel I should. I... I didn't stand up for you against NORG and his faculty when they fired you. Consider this my apology. Even though I'm not doing it just to apologize. I really believe you did nothing wrong, and I want everyone to know that."

"Headmaster..."

"Yes, I know. I'm rambling." Cid pushed his glasses up again. "Forgive me. Anyway, I couldn't get a hold of Squall, but Rinoa isn't around either, so I assume they're off together somewhere." His eyes twinkled, and Quistis tried to smile, but it came off as a pained grimace. "So, once you get in touch with him, I'd like the two of you to get going on this mission." He tapped the folder. "And, I still really want to talk to you both."

"About, Sir...?"

"You and Squall are the future faces of this Garden. I know I've said that many times, but I think you'd be perfect for Headmaster someday."

"Sir, I couldn't even last as an Instructor. I lacked leadership qualities. I'm a failure, remember?"

"That was NORG talking." Cid got up and started pacing. "I should have stood up to him! He wanted Instructors that would be towing his line, which is something you wouldn't do for anyone. And, you and Squall are what this Garden needs to remain strong for what the future brings..."

The room was filled with a heavy silence as both thought of Ultimecia. Quistis could often forget about her, or think of her that was something in the past, that they'd gotten through. But, that past was also the future, and Garden had to be ready for her, even generations ahead of time.

"So, take a look at the mission - it's in the Kashkabald Desert, by the way, and you and Squall can ship out in the morning." Cid pushed his glasses up his nose again. "Edea sends her love," he murmured before leaving her office. He shook his head sadly and made his way back to his office, stopping to chat with people along the way.

"Headmaster!"

He turned when he heard his name being called. "Oh, Xu. Hello."

She jogged up to him, carrying some paperwork in her arms, Luchia with her and carrying even more paperwork. "Sir, I need you to sign off on a few of these mission reports and contracts."

"Oh, can't that wait?" He asked, eyeing the large stack in her hands warily.

"Headmaster, you've been putting it off for days now," she chided gently. "It really needs to be done."

"Oh, all right."

"My office is closer, Sir." She gestured for Cid to follow her, Luchia walking slowly behind them.

"How does all this paperwork pile up?" Cid asked once in the office, reading over forms more quickly than he maybe should have, scribbling his signature on each of them.

"If you kept up on it, it wouldn't pile up," Xu pointed out.

"I suppose not." He sighed. "Xu, do you think Quistis is going to be okay? She looked awfully pale."

"She takes everything very personally, Sir."

"And, I worry about that. But, I think starting her down the administrative road will give her a much needed self-confidence boost."

"Administrative, Sir?"

"I still think Quistis and Squall need to be at the top of Garden's chain of command for us to be ready and strong enough for things to come."

"You... you're still thinking of making Quistis or Squall Headmaster? I thought that maybe I... would..." Xu asked quietly as Cid gave her pen back to her.

"Xu, you're good at the job you have now, and you're too invaluable to move. I'm thinking Quistis as Headmistress, and Squall acting as a tactical chief. He has great leadership skills, and is the most recognizable face Garden has. Not to mention the son of the President of Esthar."

"You think that's wise? Squall's got problems, and Quistis"

"Are you arguing against my idea, Xu?" Cid asked, eyebrows raised in surprise. "I thought you'd be... happy for Quistis?" His eyes narrowed as he looked into her dark brown eyes.

"I am!" Xu said quickly. "I am. I just wonder if the timing is right, what with all she's dealing with right now, and you can't argue that Squall hasn't done damage to his reputation with his alcohol abuse..."

"That's something I'm hoping to help him with, and now is the perfect time," Cid interrupted. "Oh, Xu... can you put together a list of the clients we're still looking for payment from? I have a benefactors meeting at the end of next week."

Xu nodded slowly as Cid exited her office, booming cheerfully to someone in the hallway, his voice still audible as a muffle after he closed the door. Her muscles were held so tensely that she was starting to tremble, and the plastic pen in her hand cracked in her tight fist.

"Xu!" Luchia exclaimed in her deadpan voice, pulling some tissues from the box on her boss's desk. "Your pen."

Xu blinked and looked down at her hand, which was now covered in black ink. It was dripping all over the forms that Cid just signed, and onto the carpet. "Damn!" She hissed as Luchia started to quickly mop at the mess.

"What now?" Luchia asked, her hands now also stained with ink.

"For now, go find Astor. I'll need you to help me redo all these contracts. I could barely get him to sign them the first time around, so the second should be as fun as a root canal," she muttered, tossing the ruined documents into the rubbish bin as Luchia simply nodded and made an exit.

Xu slumped behind her desk, looking at her blackened palms. It would take days for the ink to come out. There was a thin line of red welling up amongst the ink from where the rigid plastic of the pen's casing had cut her. Xu balled her hands and looked to the wall of her office where she'd hung her framed butterflies, and let out a long, defeated sigh.

---

Quistis squinted behind her goggles. Even though they were tinted to protect her eyes, the desert sun was still like a supernova. She could see a brief twinkle of light from across the dunes, Squall tilting his small mirror to signal her. She was laying on her stomach, half-buried in sand, propping her weight on her elbows and watching for any members of the Hrudalu tribe, the reason they'd been sent to this remote part of land between the Centran and Estharian continents. They were hired by the Ioam tribe, who were in a small yet vicious and fierce civil war with the Hrudalu. The Ioam had hired SeeD after the Hrudalu hired some ex-Galbadian and Estharian army mercenaries. There was no way for Quistis or Squall to know which side was the correct one, and they weren't being paid to wonder about it.

Quistis's vision was being obscured by the sand storm that had been blowing all morning. Her body was completely covered by cloth. She was hot, but at least she wasn't being exposed to the harsh sun or the pounding, stinging sand. Her hair was damp under the scarves and turban, but at night, she'd be glad for all the covering, because it was worse than a night in Trabia. She flashed her own mirror, signalling to Squall that there were no sightings. This was their sixth day fighting alongside the Ioam, and each day had brought gunfights and all-out magic battles. Technology in this part of the world was nil, so at least Quistis didn't have to worry about being spotted by any kind of aerial surveillance, thermal sensors or night vision. The contract with the Ioam was one of Cid's patented vague ones, where they were there until the war over this section of land had settled. But, at least it took Quistis's mind off her problems, which she was pretty sure was Cid's major design in giving this particular contract to her and Squall, and not another pair of SeeD.

She became distracted by a cactuar speeding along across the sand in its usual 'dance' pose, as Quistis liked to think of it. They were really interesting creatures to watch, except for when they spotted you. She and Squall spent time every night picking quills out of each other's skin. There were also many types of venomous snakes around that made Quistis wish Seifer were there to deal with them. She'd mentioned this to Squall, and he'd gone very quiet. She knew that Squall was spending most of his time thinking about the other man. After much prodding, Squall had told her about his argument with Seifer. After more prodding, and the fact that he was drunker than usual, he told her he felt guilty. Not only about his argument with Seifer, but about Rinoa. He felt guilty for lying to her, and guilty that the best times between them seemed to be born of his guilt, but he was afraid to tell her the truth because he didn't want to disappoint her, and everyone else.

She wondered if 'everyone else' actually meant Laguna. Squall didn't talk much about his father, at least not about how he felt about Laguna, and the whole situation in general. But, she liked to think that she knew Squall well, and that he really cared what Laguna thought of him.

She saw the flash of Squall's mirror again, and responded in kind that she didn't see anything. She stayed very still as that cactuar slid by again, its perpetually surprised face looking right at her. It stopped and hopped a little on one leg. "Oh, shit..." She trailed off, rolling out of the way as the cactuar shot a bunch of needles at her and then ran off, its squeaking noise sounding like laughter. She didn't quite make it, and had a bunch of needles embedded in her shoulder.

"Goddamn... little... bastard..." She hissed, yanking the needles out, biting her lip so she wouldn't yell loudly from the pain. She gasped when the air was suddenly filled with the sound of gunfire and magic. She saw a smoke cloud from fire magic to the west, and the glittering response of an ice spell. Quistis ran through the sand, calling forth her junctioned GF, Diablos. Bats swarmed around her, forming the black and red scaled body of the demon, who batted his wings and waited for her commands with complete familiarity.

Since they'd discovered that the GF really did cause memory loss, Garden, Dr. Odine, and the militaries of Esthar and Galbadia had been doing research into the matter, and had put forth guidelines for summoning the powerful creatures. Only one GF was allowed to be junctioned at a time, unless the circumstances were very extreme, and if at all possible, it should always be the same GF, to lessen the impact on the brain. There were also guidelines about how long the user could be junctioned to their GF, and breaks had to be taken after long periods of time. Garden had been working with all their SeeD in finding good, permanent matches between person and Guardian Force, and Quistis had settled on Diablos, whom she seemed to have a good rapport with. Squall had chosen Shiva rather quickly, which people kind of snickered at, both affectionately and not so much. _No wonder the Ice Queen chose the Ice Queen_, they'd murmur.

"This way," she told Diablos. "Towards the magic."

Diablos nodded once and took to the air, the beating of his great leathery wings displacing the sands. She started running, and felt the temperature of the air drop as Squall called Shiva.

"Squall!" She cried over the sound of wind and magic. "Squall?!"

He ran towards her, gunblade out. "It must be coming from the gully!" He shouted back, gesturing for Shiva to follow Diablos. She elegantly glided along the surface of the sand dunes, leaving trails of ice in her wake. She started running after the ice goddess, careful not to step on the icy patches. She could hear Squall running behind her, and checked over her shoulder a couple times for his position. She noticed, with a measure of worry, that he wasn't exactly stable on his feet. A member of the Hrudalu fired a thunder spell at her, and she threw herself to the side to avoid getting it full-force in the chest. She hit a patch of Shiva's ice, and slid. Squall fired a round from his gunblade, but his aim was off and missed. But, he followed up with a fire spell. Once he cast it, he started running towards the Hrudalu man, and sliced through him with his blade.

Quistis started moving ahead, watching Squall more carefully now. Was he drunk again? When they arrived at the gully, the fight was in full-swing. They both jumped right into the fray, Shiva and Diablos following their masters' examples. The Hrudalu didn't possess Guardian Forces, so they quickly became overmatched, though they were strong magically, and had a large cache of explosives, so the Ioam were suffering heavy losses. Quistis found herself surrounded by half a dozen of the opposing tribe, Diablos's heavy gravitational magic making it hard to breathe. She called upon her blue magic skills, and let electricity run from her body, contacting with all the Hrudalu circling her. She could feel bats flying all around her like a cylinder as Diablos came to help protect her. The ugly smell of burning flesh from the lightning filled her nostrils, and when the bats cleared, she saw Diablos before her, looking at her as if to make sure she wasn't hurt.

Quistis turned to see Squall and a number of the Ioam in fierce combat with the Hrudalu. Squall was doing most of the work, slicing through opponents and deflecting blows and spells with ease and grace, though she could see his feet stumbling, and the slowness of his motions since she knew him so well. Squall let loose with a fire spell, and hit two Hrudalu, but his aim was off, so he also hit one of their own men. She started to move towards them, cracking her whip, but Diablos suddenly exploded into bats, the bevy moving at lightning speed towards a dune ridge far ahead of them. "Shit," she cursed, seeing a wave of Hrudalu coming towards them in armoured vehicles. Even with their GF, this suddenly turned the tables. She ran to Squall, who was just finishing off the last enemy within their reach. She gestured to the trucks driving towards them, and mentally told Diablos to start laying down some magic to slow their progress.

"Ice up the sands around them," Squall commanded his GF.

"Looks like they've got gatling and machine guns mounted on each of them."

"We have to get in one," Squall said.

Quistis nodded. "Shiva and Diablos can cover us."

He nodded, adjusting his goggles as they started to run towards the trucks. Quistis had to roll out of the way to avoid getting filled with bullets from one of the machine guns, and she flung out some more electrical blue magic. The fork of lightning hit the armoured side of the truck, burning a giant crater in it. When more rounds were fired at her, she flung up a protect spell, and combated with Ultra Waves. The gunman grabbed the sides of his head, the sound frequency causing pain in his inner ears. In desperation to make it stop, he threw a grenade in Quistis's direction. She jumped out of the way when it exploded, feeling some bits of shrapnel digging into her legs. She kept casting magic at the truck so the gunman would continue to target her, giving Squall the chance to move to the other side. As she traded magical blows with the gunman, she also mentally commanded Diablos to use his Dark Messenger attack against the other vehicles, the rumbling of his magic felt through the ground like an earthquake.

Squall got around the back of the truck, but the driver knew he was there, so started spinning the vehicle around. But, the sand was hard to drive in, so the truck was sluggish. The gunman was distracted by Quistis, so Squall got a clear shot with the gun part of his weapon, and shot him in the back of the head. His body slumped against the machine gun, and Squall vaulted himself up, grabbing onto the frame of the back cage tight as the truck spun. He swung his leg up and pushed the gunman off the vehicle, grabbing the machine gun and spinning it towards the others. One was heavily encased in ice from Shiva's attacks, and he mentally commanded her to get out of the way. "QUISTIS!" He shouted over the noises of the battle. "Tell Diablos to get out of the way!"

She did so, limping towards the truck. Squall fired a few rounds through the back glass and killed the driver, sending the vehicle out of control. He crawled through the broken window, the shards of glass tearing at his layers of clothing, and he slammed his boot on the brakes. "Quisty, get the gun," he told her.

She cracked her whip and got it around the base of the gun, and used it to vault herself into the cage. Squall started driving, and she depressed the gun's triggers, feeling the vibration all through her body, spent shell casings raining down on her boots. She could feel blood dripping into them from where the shrapnel had injured her. She stumbled a few times, and her shots also went wide more than she wanted because of all the jostling. The sands made for highly difficult driving conditions, and because of Squall's probable intoxication. Quistis aimed at the other gunmen to get them out of the picture. She started aiming for the gas tank on the frozen truck, and when she hit it, the vehicle exploded into a giant cloud of fire and smoke. It knocked her back on her ass, and Squall had to duck within the cab as fire swept over them. She could feel the coolness of ice as Shiva floated over and put out the flames on their truck.

With the gunmen sniped out, it didn't take long for the Hrudalu to all be defeated. Quistis slumped against the gun's base, the lower parts of her robes now stained with blood. She heard the truck's door open as Squall got out. He jumped into the cab beside her. "Go help put out the rest of the fires, please," he told Shiva.

"You're injured," the ice queen pointed out to him, a long frozen finger pointing to his side.

Squall touched his hip, and his glove came back with blood. There was a piece of glass from the truck's back window embedded in his skin. "I'm fine," he told her.

Shiva took him at his word, jumping down from the truck, the ice that had formed around her stationary feet cracking. Bats screeched and formed a funnel, becoming Diablos as he perched on the roof of the truck, looking down at Quistis.

"Grenade shrapnel," she hissed through clenched teeth as Squall raised her robes to look at her legs. The fabric of her pants underneath was torn. He cast cure magic and flowed it into her skin to dull the pain. "How does it look?" She asked. She couldn't read Squall's face because it was completely covered by his scarves and goggles.

"It could have been worse," he answered. "You'll be fine."

She narrowed her eyes behind her goggles. "You're drunk, aren't you?" She asked, voice barely a whisper.

He didn't answer.

"I saw you accidentally hit one of the Ioam, Squall." Her whisper was now like iron.

"Collateral damage."

"_Collateral damage_?!" She hissed angrily. "That's what you call this level of unprofessionalism? Being drunk on such a serious mission? You could have killed more people! You could have died yourself!"

"I'm not..."

"Don't try to deny it," she muttered angrily, keeping her voice very low so the Ioam milling around and checking the condition of the vehicles wouldn't overhear. "You know..." She trailed off in bitter amusement. "Even when drunk, you're still the best SeeD I've ever seen."

"Quistis..."

The Ioam were talking to each other in their own language, one that neither SeeD could understand. One that spoke accented Estharian called to them. "Are you injured?" She asked.

"I got hit by some shrapnel," Quistis called back.

The Ioam started calling to some of her comrades, and a pair of them jumped into the truck's cage to help Quistis get back to camp.

"We should keep this truck," Quistis told the woman who spoke Estharian. "We can use it to get to the Hrudalu base. Maybe we can even get in, or close enough that we could fire a bomb into there."

"We can have it fixed up," the Ioam woman replied, grabbing Quistis under the arms.

"If something like this ever happens again, Squall," she murmured to him in Balambish as she was carried past. "I _will_ report you."

---

"Look, I think we should just cut our losses," Selphie murmured. She and Irvine were sitting in Selphie's office, which was cluttered with paperwork and model trains. Her hands were folded in her lap, and her emerald green eyes were unusually serious. "It just won't work out, and I really don't want to lose you as a friend." She reached out and put her small hand around his wrist. "You just can't stay faithful."

Irvine opened his mouth to protest.

"At least, not at this point in your life."

He frowned. "I guess you're right. It's not that I don't..."

"You don't have to say it," Selphie interrupted. "I know you love me, and I love you, too. That's why this is best. I think you wanted to break it off before it got too serious too, but you were afraid of hurting me, right?"

Irvine gave her one, slow nod. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize," she argued sincerely. "Actually, I'm not mad at all. Maybe a little disappointed, but I'll get over it. Maybe faster than I should." She shrugged. "So, now you can feel free to be a sexual compulsive to your heart's content, and you don't have to pretend you're talking to nobody when you're having all those deep phone calls."

"Yeah..." He echoed hollowly. "You're incredible, you know that?"

"I do know that!" They smiled at each other, a mixture of friendship and sad disappointment on both their faces. Selphie looked away when there was a knock on her door. "Come in!"

"Hey, Selphie, what's up?" Zell asked, waving as he came in. "Oh, hey Irvine."

"Irvine and I just broke up."

"What?!" He exclaimed in typical Zell Dincht fashion. "Oh, holy Hyne! I'm so sorry, guys! I'll leave you two alone..."

"No, stay. It's fine," Irvine assured. "It was a mutual decision."

"Really?" Zell asked, still horrified. "God, seems like everyone is breaking up lately. Me and Valeria, you guys... I guess Squall and Rinoa are the only ones still together..." He trailed off, and they all sat in awkward silence for a moment. It was hard to ignore how much the two of them argued. "Do you think they will break up?" Zell asked, fidgeting as he always did.

"I dunno," Selphie replied. "Rinoa's really worried about Squall's drinking. I mean, we all are, obviously. But, she doesn't know if she can stay with him, and she thinks he's hiding something from her."

"You don't mean... Quisty, do you?" Zell asked.

"Come off it," Irvine scoffed, giving Zell a dark look. "Please, _please_ don't tell me you're starting to believe that nonsense, Zell!"

"I didn't mean it like that," Zell mumbled into his chest.

"What else could he be hiding, though?" Selphie asked, picking up a model of Doomtrain that was on her desk. She smiled affectionately at it and started driving it up and down her legs like they were train tracks. Doomtrain was her permanent Guardian Force, and it was a running joke, even with Selphie herself, that she was secretly in love with it/him, and vice versa.

"He's not having an affair with Quistis, you guys." Irvine shook his head angrily. Because Irvine had a good eye for these sorts of things, he had an educated guess as to what Squall could be hiding, if anything, but he kept his theories silent.

Selphie looked up from her model train, which she was giving sound effects now, when there was another knock at the door. "Man, I'm popular today... It's open!" She shouted.

Xu's assistant Astor gently kicked the door open, his arms full with folders and inter-Garden envelopes. "Good, you guys are in here, too. Saves me a trip." With impressive dexterity, the thin man was able to extract the proper files from his teetering pile, and give each person one with their name on it. "Your next assignments," he informed.

"Oh, thanks man." Irvine tore open his envelope and started reading as Astor shuffled out of the room to make more deliveries.

"What the...?" Zell opened his folder and found it to be quite empty. He picked up the two lone papers and flipped them over, then shook them to see if the rest of the report was stuck to them. Then he shook the folder, as if the other sheets that should have been there would miraculously fall out.

Selphie crossed her fingers before she opened her folder. "Come on, blowing stuff up..." she pleaded.

"I'm going to go find the rest of my report," Zell announced as Selphie let out a big, loud, disappointed groan. He knocked on Xu's office door, and heard a faint "come in" from the other side.

"Hi, Xu!" He casually saluted her. "I'm kinda missing most of my mission report." He held up the folder. "Maybe you forgot to put the sheets in?"

"Oh!" She exclaimed, sniffling. "Hyne, I'm sorry, Zell." She started rifling through some papers on her desk, sniffing again. Zell noticed that her cheeks were wet, and her nose was red.

"Xu, are you okay?" He asked, full of concern. This was the first time he'd ever seen Xu show this kind of emotion. Normally, she was always quite professional.

"Yes," she answered, voice shaking. A few papers fluttered to the ground from her trembling hands.

"No, you're not." He crouched beside her desk and picked them up for her. "Did something happen?" He asked, staying crouched.

"Oh, Zell..." She shook her head. "I'm sorry to let you see me like this."

"Don't apologize!" He insisted quietly, looking into her almond-shaped brown eyes. "Is there... is there anything I can do? I'm a pretty good listener."

"I'm... oh, it's nothing."

"You can tell me," he urged, putting a friendly hand on her arm.

"It's Quistis."

"Did something happen to her?" He knew about her and Squall's mission in the Kashkabald.

"No, no!" She exclaimed, wiping her eyes with her sleeve, but tears still came down. "Not that. I'm just so worried about her. It's like I don't even know her anymore."

"What do you mean?"

"She never talks to me anymore," Xu mumbled, her voice cracking. She nervously ran her fingers through her deep chocolate brown hair. "She only ever wants to talk to Squall, and they spend so much time together..."

"They are partners," Zell countered.

"I know, and I know they're good friends. I just wonder... is she mad at me because I like Nida? I know she likes him, but then I wonder if her feelings for Squall have come back? She keeps saying that she feels like his big sister, but I've seen the way they look at each other."

"What way?" Zell asked, worry gnawing inside him.

Xu stifled a sob. "I'm sorry."

"Don't..." He squeezed her arm, and stroked it in a comforting manner.

"I feel like such a bad friend for even saying this stuff out loud."

"You're worried about her. That's being a _good_ friend, Xu."

She smiled through her tears, biting her lip because it was shaking. She put her hand over top of Zell's. It was very warm and strong. "Thanks," she whispered. "That's really sweet of you to say." The smile disappeared. "You know, I'm sorry about you and Valeria. I heard about your break-up."

Zell shrugged a powerful shoulder. "Don't worry about that now."

"There's something else..." Xu admitted after a few moments of silence, where Zell squeezed her hand and looked up at her with deep concern in his pale blue eyes. "I wonder if... maybe she's mad at me because of Cid?"

"Why, what did the Headmaster do?"

"He's been talking about retiring soon." She stood up and started pacing, folding her arms protectively across her chest.

"Yeah, to spend more time with Matron. I mean Edea," he corrected.

"Right." She took the tissue that Zell offered and wiped her nose and cheeks, but her body was still trembling as she held back sobs. "He's thinking of grooming me to take over."

"That's wonderful, Xu."

"Quisty doesn't think so. I think... she wants to take Cid's place. I know it's one of her ambitions in life, and I know that she wants to put Squall as some sort of commander. I heard her and Cid arguing about it. I just I don't know what's happened to her." She turned to face Zell, collapsing in tears. "I just don't know who she is anymore!"

"Shh, it's okay!" Zell exclaimed, putting his hands on her shoulders. "Please don't cry, Xu."

"I'm so sorry!" She warbled through her tears. She felt Zell's arms come around her in a hug, and rested her wet cheek against his shoulder for a few moments. "Oh! Oh, no! I got your shirt all wet." She pulled back and started wiping at the stain from her tears.

"It's okay. It's just salty water."

"Has she... said anything to you?"

Zell bit his lower lip. "She hasn't really talked to us much since that story came out in the Deling Enquirer."

"Me, either..."

"I think you should really talk to her about all this."

Xu nodded. "You're right. I know you are. I guess I just let all my emotions get bottled up until I couldn't handle it anymore." She wiped her eyes and nose, and straightened her shoulders. "It was really sweet of you to let me go insane on you like that."

"It's not insane," he assured, patting her arm. "Besides, I know a thing or two about flying off the handle. Believe me, you have a long way to go before you're in the stratosphere as me."

Xu couldn't help but laugh. "You're right. And, maybe I'm getting all worked up over nothing. Maybe she and Cid were arguing about something else. I mean, this Kashkabald mission isn't exactly an easy one. And, I guess I'm just disappointed about Nida."

"Quistis would never go out with him. She cares about your feelings too much."

Xu just nodded, and it seemed to Zell like she wasn't completely convinced. "Here's your papers," she muttered, handing them to him. "I guess my head just wasn't in paperwork-mode today."

"Don't worry about it. Hey, maybe you shouldn't be alone tonight. Do you want to have dinner with me, Selphie and Irvine?"

"Seems kind of like a double-date." She gasped in surprise when her phone started ringing from within one of the pockets of her SeeD uniform skirt. The caller ID said it was Luchia. "Oh, excuse me."

"Sure."

Xu cleared her throat before answering with a steady "yes?" She narrowed her eyes at what Luchia was telling her. "Okay. Yes. Take care of it." She snapped the phone shut and put it away again. "Sorry about that."

"Is everything okay?" He asked, curious.

"Oh, no... everything's fine. It was just Luchia. Anyway, you sure it wouldn't be too weird, tagging along on a double-date kinda thing with them?"

"It's not a date," assured Zell. "They just broke up."

"That's too bad. " She pursed her mouth. "Sure, why not? Better than just sitting in here all alone, feeling sorry for myself."

"Great!" He patted her shoulder. "I'll come get you around five, all right?"

She nodded as he took his papers and shoved them into the folder. He waved and left her standing in the middle of her office, her tears quickly drying on her cheeks.

---

Evan slumped in his chair, grimacing. Every breath was agony. He was currently in Deling City in a crummy diner, waiting for his lunch companion. His face was still bruised - the marks having settled into an ugly greenish yellow healing hue, and the swelling around his eye had only just begun to go down from where Seifer's fists had heavily contacted. He had a baseball cap pulled down low so people wouldn't notice him quite so much. But, in Deling City, one would have to be bleeding out on the sidewalk to really cause a second glance.

He looked up when the woman he was meeting sat down across from him at the small table, the surface gritty with the remnants of spilt sugar. She wore a white pantsuit with a black blouse underneath, pearl jewellery subtle yet elegant. She wore a white fedora with black trim, half-covering her face, much in the same way Evan was doing. Though, the effect for her was stunning, while Evan was sure he looked sketchy.

"Coffee," she told the waitress, who poured it into a chipped ceramic mug. She picked up a packet of sugar from the basket on the table, and poured some into the cup, nails manicured and painted white. She stared at Evan coldly, not speaking.

"I want more money."

"Oh?" She asked, electric blue eyes glittering in the shadow her fedora's brim cast. "The sum that was paid to you was quite generous, Mr. Phaighn. Especially for so enjoyable a task. There are _plenty_ of men who would have sex with Ms. Trepe for free, let alone for substantial gil."

"I have medical bills now." He gestured to his face, wincing as he took in a large breath. It felt like a knife slipping between his still-healing ribs. "Look what that maniac did to me!" He hissed quietly.

"Didn't you think something like this would happen if you remained in the University area? Especially so near someone with Seifer Almasy's reputation?" She asked, taking another sip of coffee, leaving rosy lipstick impressions on the mug. "If you hadn't stayed around to boast about your conquest" She trailed off meaningfully.

"Well, if you won't pay for my medical bills, how about I go to the Enquirer with another story?" Evan asked rhetorically.

"Hmm, threats. You aren't scary enough to make them work."

"Quistis Trepe, set up by one of her own," Evan mused. "Garden backstabbing!" He gestured with his hands as he quoted possible headlines. "Don't think I don't know who you are, and who you work for. All SeeD are in the papers, no matter how second-class."

"How much more?" She asked, leaning in.

Evan grinned, also leaning in. His breath rustled her coppery hair. "One million gil. And, if it's not transferred to my account by the end of the day, I'll go to every newspaper in Galbadia."

"Fine," she answered, sitting back in her chair, picking up her chipped coffee mug once more. "By the end of the day." She raised her cup in a mock toast as Evan got up from the table. She didn't watch him leave, but continued to enjoy her mediocre cup of coffee.

Evan walked past the dirty picture window, and her eyes slid over to him. He saw her lips turn up in a smile, the first of their brief meeting. Then, he was hit with a flash of searing-hot magic, powerful enough that it incinerated him on the spot. Pedestrians nearby started screaming, the flash gone as quickly as it had come, leaving charred blackness behind in the shape of Evan's remains. Her icy face schooled into a mask of shock, mirroring the other diner patrons. She put a couple gil on the table for her coffee, and went out into the street, pretending to be horrified by the scene. Sirens were already beginning to fill the air as she crossed the street towards the subway station. She casually walked underground, her horrified mask now replaced by cold remoteness again.

"A bullet would have sufficed," she chided to a man who was standing at a newsstand, reading the sports section of that day's paper, a man as thin as a rail. If she'd touched his hand, she would have still felt the heat of fire.

"You need to be able to take a few pleasures out of your job, Luchia." Astor folded the paper under his arm and put two coins down on the counter. They walked together towards the platform, being swallowed into the crowd.


	5. Chapter 5

****

Chapter 05

"Look interesting?" Nida asked Irvine as they checked through their mission file.

"Bodyguard work?" Irvine murmured. He and Nida were standing in Xu's office, looking at their newest assignment. Xu was leaning against her desk, eyes never leaving Nida's face. "I'd hardly call that interesting."

"I know, I know." Xu gave them a wry grin. "But, the money's too good to pass up."

"Whoa, hot chick alert!" Irvine suddenly exclaimed. He held out the picture of their client's teenage daughter, who was indeed hot and blonde and very bosomy and completely couldn't hold a candle to Quistis, at least in Nida's eyes. "You can guard the guy. I'll guard the wife and daughter."

"I don't think the Galbadian finance minister would appreciate you sullying his daughter's chastity while on duty," Xu quipped.

"This one's not chaste."

"How can you tell?" Nida asked with a roll of his almond-shaped eyes. "It's just a photograph."

"I can tell. Believe me."

"Oh, I believe it," he muttered, to which Irvine gave him a gentle elbow in the ribs.

"Can you be ready to leave by tonight?"

"Sure thing, boss." Irvine tipped his hat to her. "Though, I can't imagine who'd want to kill a finance minister."

"In Galbadia?" Nida asked rhetorically.

"This is true," he replied. Galbadian politicians were always trying to off each other for some dumb reason or another. "Yeah, we can leave tonight. Guess I'll just have to change my evening date into an afternoon delight," he added to Nida in an undertone.

"You're unbelievable."

"And, you're jealous." Irvine winked, waved to Xu, and sauntered out of the room.

"I _so_ am," Nida admitted. "Thanks Xu. Guess I'll see you when I get back."

"Nida, wait." She reached out and gently touched his shoulder. "Can we... can we talk, maybe?"

Nida sighed and looked down into her dark brown eyes. "Xu, I already told you..."

"That you only think of me as a friend because you have feelings for Quistis?" Xu finished. "Quistis is with Squall."

"Don't tell me you're believing that bullshit too. You're her best friend!"

"Quistis has been in love with Squall for a long time," Xu pointed out. "I don't want to believe it," she insisted, eyes watering up. "But, I'm not naïve, either."

"Until I hear Quistis say it from her own lips, I refuse to believe it. And, you should feel the same way."

"All she ever talks about is Squall..." Xu trailed off.

"I'm sorry, Xu." He stepped away from her, her arm dropping unceremoniously to her side. "I don't want to hurt your feelings, because I value your friendship, but even if Quistis and Squall do wind up together, that won't change things. I'm sorry." He shook his head and left the office to follow Irvine.

Xu's tears instantly dried up. "We'll see," she whispered bitterly. She put her hands on her hips, drumming her fingers. Her bitter feelings towards her best friend intensified greatly in just that one moment. Quistis coming out on top again. _Again_. She was the one who became an Instructor. She was the one that everyone praised as being the SeeD prodigy, the youngest ever to graduate. She was the one that got her face in magazines, and was being offered cosmetics contracts that she didn't even want. She was the one who was being offered the Headmaster position. And, she was the one who held the affections of the only man that Xu cared about. And, _Xu_ was the one who did all the work. She was the one who earned all those accolades. And, Quistis and Squall were going to reap all the credit.

She pulled out her cell phone, and saw that Zell had called her while she'd been in a meeting earlier that afternoon. "Hi, Zell!" She greeted cheerfully when he answered his phone, her expression not matching her voice at all. "I saw you called me. Sorry I didn't get back to you earlier."

"That's okay," Zell answered, his voice crackling because of a bad connection. Xu could hear some sort of loud noise in the background.

"Where are you?" She asked, putting a finger in her free ear.

"The training center. Hey, listen... I was wondering if you were free for a movie tonight."

"Oh, sure! But, uh... I just sent Irvine and Nida on a mission, so I guess that plan's shot."

"Actually, I was thinking maybe just the two of us."

Xu's eyebrows raised, and a slow smirk spread across her heart-shaped face. "I'd love that," she answered, daydreaming that it was Nida who was asking her out instead of Zell. "I'll come meet you down there if you want. I haven't actually fought any monsters in a while."

"Hey, the more the merrier!" He exclaimed. "See ya."

"Yeah," she echoed as she closed her phone. In the two months that Quistis and Squall had been in the Kashkabald, Xu had started to spread more rumours about the two of them. Anything to lower Garden's confidence in them, not only as potential leaders, but as people in general. Soon, people would see that Xu was the one that should be Headmaster. Soon, Nida would see that Xu was the woman he was supposed to be with. But, he was being so stubborn. But, it wasn't like Quistis would have nothing. Once she and Squall were away from Garden, and away from the Headmaster's seat, they could be together in their ruin. It's what Quistis had always wanted - Squall in her arms and in her bed. She could be happy.

Xu hummed a waltz to herself as she headed down to the training center for her mini-date with Zell. She cared nothing for him sexually, but if she nuzzled up to one of Quistis and Squall's closest and most loyal friends, it would be easier to discredit them.

"Xu, wait!"

"Yes? Oh, hi Rinoa!" Xu greeted brightly.

"Going to the training center?" Rinoa asked, eyeing Xu's pair of razor-sharp sickles.

"Yeah, meeting Zell."

"You two are spending a lot more time together." Rinoa knowingly cocked an eyebrow and chuckled.

Xu just smiled.

"Anyway, I wanted to know if you'd heard anything about when Squall's coming back?" Rinoa asked, her toe tracing the pattern in the carpet. She'd asked Xu this question often since Squall and Quistis went to the desert. Now, it was becoming a daily thing.

"Actually, they made contact late last night."

Rinoa's face brightened.

"She and Squall are going to spend a couple days at Edea's before coming back to Garden." Xu left out the fact that it was because Quistis had gotten injured, and she'd stopped so Edea could heal her with magic.

"Why?" Rinoa asked, confused.

"To see their Matron, I guess." Xu shrugged. She bit her lip and made her face look doubtful.

Rinoa took the bait. "You don't think that's the reason, do you?"

"Squall didn't call you?" Xu asked, feigning bewilderment.

Rinoa shook her head slowly.

"I'm _sure _it's only to see Edea." Xu put a hand on the young Sorceress's shoulder. She shook her weapons a little. "I better go. Don't want to keep my date waiting." She winked, but let herself show compassion for Rinoa, who looked like she'd just walked off the edge of a cliff.

"Tell Zell hello for me," Rinoa murmured sadly. Xu got in the elevator, the glass doors encasing her. As she descended to the first floor, she watched Rinoa disappear from her view, frozen in place.

---

"It will be so nice to eat something that didn't come from a can, ya know?!" Raijin was waxing nostalgic about foods he hadn't gotten to eat since coming to Centra two months earlier. "I tell you this much, man... I'm never eating anything with the word 'jerky' in it again, ya know?! I think I'm going to have like, eight cheeseburgers when I get back. With lots of pickles and tomatoes, ya know?!"

"If you don't shut the fuck up about food, I'm going to dismember you with a band saw," Seifer threatened in a low, angry hiss. Their feet were kicking up dust as they walked up an incline towards the Good Hope Orphanage after their long stay in the wilds of Centra's desolate plains, reptiles and monsters their only company. Seifer's legs were ready to give out from under him, so the flower fields around the white-washed building were a welcome sight indeed.

"Maaaaaaatwwwooonnnnn! Auntie Quistyyyyyyy!" A little girl shouted, her voice lisped by the gap in her smile where her two front baby teeth had fallen out. "Look!"

Edea looked up from where she was putting a bandage on a young boy's skinned knee, and she smiled brightly when she saw Seifer and Raijin coming. The children that were outside with her shouted happily, running down the hill, throwing themselves on Raijin like he was a ride of some sort. Quistis waved happily. A small boy was practically melting into Edea's long black skirt, clutching it in a small fist. His dove grey eyes kept looking up at Seifer, but only very briefly.

"Careful, now!" Edea chided lovingly. "Don't run down the hill, or you'll fall!"

"Okay, okay... get on, I guess..." Raijin grumbled as a trio of kids grabbed onto his bicep and squealed with delight when he lifted them in the air. He was smiling the entire time, though. "Hi, Instructor!" He called through a throng of small arms.

"Hi," Edea whispered when Seifer came to stand before her. She reached out and touched his cheek. "I'm not used to seeing you with a beard."

Seifer instinctively reached up and touched his face. "Oh... right. Yeah, I'd really like a shower right about now." He looked at Quistis in confusion. "Instructor Trepe, this is a surprise."

"We just got back from a mission in the Kashkabald. Taking it easy for a couple of days before going back to Garden."

"I didn't mean that you don't look nice" the Sorceress murmured, her golden brown eyes warm with affection. "Though, you're more than welcome to the shower. Raijin, too." She looked over with motherly instinct to check on the children, and laughed with them as they piled on top of Raijin, nearly completely covering him from view. "They were talking all afternoon about seeing him." Edea's orphans loved when Raijin came with Seifer on visits, and Raijin really liked it too. He loved children, and wanted to have several when he found the right woman.

"I'm going to go up." He gestured to the house.

"Did everything go okay?" Edea asked. "You've got a nasty bruise on your arm." She reached out and started murmuring under her breath, pouring magic into it.

"You don't have to. It doesn't hurt. I just banged it on a rock."

"A Knight always protects their Sorceress, and the Sorceress protects her Knight in kind. There." She inspected the bruise as it faded away. Though that time was gone, and she already had an 'official' Knight in her husband, Edea still thought of Seifer in that role.

"So, is... is Squall here?" Seifer asked dubiously.

"Yes..." She trailed off at his reaction. "He went for a walk." She shook her head. "Oh, Seifer... you and Squall aren't still at each other's throats, are you? This rivalry between you is just silly!" The shy boy, named Balthasar, was still shadowing her, and she crouched in front of him. "Why don't you go play, sweetheart?" She offered, giving him a kind smile.

The boy just nodded and shuffled off. Edea was sure he'd find some solitary corner and just watch the others, desperately wanting to join in, but too shy to do so. It reminded her a great deal of Squall at that age. The adults went into the house, the children still using Raijin's large body like a pony.

"We don't have a rivalry," he muttered, trudging up the stairs. The staircase, and everything about the house, was exactly like it had once been. Edea had really done wonders with all her renovations. Edea's eyes followed him upwards, frowning. She knew Seifer very well, and knew when he was troubled. Balthasar watched him too, then picked up a discarded book and went to the play room. Quistis sighed and flopped into the nearest kitchen chair, her leg throbbing. She took out a half-finished sock and started knitting as Edea checked her pantry and made a list of supplies she needed. "I should have made this pantry bigger when I remodelled," she muttered to herself.

"Mrs. Kramer, ya know?!"

"Hmm?" Edea turned, flipping some of her straight ebony hair over a shoulder as she wrote down 'sweet red beans'. "Yes, dear?"

"Allan got stung by a bee, and wanted you to make it better."

Edea smiled as Raijin brought in a boy of only three, who was crying quietly into Raijin's barrel chest and cradling his hand.

"Don't worry, Allen. It will be all better soon." Edea took the boy from Raijin's arms, and brought him into the kitchen.

"Aww, Matron will take care of it!" Raijin urged as Allen cried and rubbed his eyes with a small fist.

"It hurts!" Allen wailed as he was plopped onto the table.

"Well, what about this, ya know?!" Raijin started fumbling in his pockets, and came out with a stone. "Look what I found."

A couple of the children who'd opted to stay near Raijin rather than go into the play room to watch television made 'ooh' and 'ahh' sounds as Raijin held up the shiny stone for Allen. He gulped down a couple of sobs, his wet eyes widening as the rock twinkled in the light. "What is it?" He asked, completely distracted as Edea swabbed the bee sting with some alcohol before picking at it with tweezers to get the stinger out.

"Found it at the Centra ruins, ya know?! Might be magical..." He trailed off with a wink. It was merely a small magical stone piece, something quite common to people like Edea, Quistis, Seifer and Raijin, but to an orphaned child, it was something wondrous.

"The Centra ruins!" One girl with two brown braids exclaimed. "There's monsters there!" She breathed.

"Big scawy ones!" The girl with the missing teeth agreed.

"Very scary ones!" Raijin exclaimed back. Edea had pulled the stinger out, and was now using magic to soothe the pain. "Here. You can have it for being so brave."

"Really?!" Allen exclaimed as Raijin dropped the stone into his tiny hands. "Wow!"

"Show meeeee!" The girl with the braids demanded as Edea helped Allen back to the ground.

"Me too!" The other girl exclaimed as Allen took his treasure and ran into the play room.

"You're really good with them," Edea praised.

Raijin just smiled, Quistis grinning at him as her fingers worked her knitting needles with quick dexterity.

"Raijin... how's Seifer doing?" The Sorceress asked.

"Better now that we're back in civilization, ya know?!"

"Is he... happy?"

"I guess so," Raijin mumbled.

"It seems like he's hiding something from me."

"He's like that sometimes, ya know?!" Raijin was starting to feel uncomfortable with this line of questioning. It's not like he was known for his secret-keeping abilities. His eyes kept darting over to Quistis, and he was sure the Sorceress was noticing.

"Has he met someone?"

"Nah," he lied.

"Raiiiijjjjiinnnnnn!" One of the kids shouted from the playroom.

"Don't shout!" Edea chastised, sticking her head into the hallway.

"Come read to us, please?!"

"And do the funny voices!"

Raijin sighed in relief, saved from the conversation. "Coming, ya know?!"

Edea only shook her head, and started pulling things out of the refrigerator for dinner. One of her nannies had already cooked dinner for the children, so she was free to make a nice family dinner for some of her other 'children'. She only wished that Cid could be here, too. She was used to him being so far away all the time, but it still got lonely.

She looked up from making gravy when she heard Squall's quiet voice asking "Matron?" His cheeks were pink from being outside, having taken a walk down towards the lighthouse, in deep thought all the while. "I thought I heard Raijin. Are they here?" He tried to sound disinterested.

"Just arrived. The children already commandeered Raijin, and Seifer went upstairs to shower. I hope you two boys can be civil. It's so silly to still be at each other's throats."

He didn't reply. Matron lovingly patted his cheek, but frowned when she could smell the faint undercurrent of booze lingering on him.

Squall looked over his shoulder when he heard the creaking of stairs. It made him think foggily of his childhood and memories that were there somewhere, but weren't clear to him. Seifer appeared in the kitchen, yawning. He stopped when he met Squall's gaze. Squall felt suddenly awkward, because the other man's expression gave nothing away. The sound of Edea chopping carrots, Quistis's knitting needles clacking together, and the distant sound of children's laughter from the play room seemed amplified in all their silence.

"Ah, Instructor... knitting as always, I see," he replied, breezing past Squall without saying anything. Squall opened his mouth to say something, _anything_, but couldn't find words.

"I wish you wouldn't keep calling me that. It seems like you're taunting me."

"I'm always taunting everyone," he muttered, pouring himself a glass of water from the tap. "What happened to you, anyway?"

"Kashkabald civil war," the blonde woman murmured. "It looks worse than it actually is. How was your trip? Is it over?"

"Yeah. It went really good," Seifer answered between sips of water. He sat at the table across from Quistis, still trying to pretend Squall wasn't in the room. "Tonberrys are really fascinating." He frowned. "Hey, Quistis... how much do you know about Guardian Forces?"

"Why?" She asked, leaning forward. She sensed an educational question, and rose to the occasion.

"We were camped out in the Centra ruins, and I could have _sworn_ that I felt a presence in Odin's Chamber. But... I killed him. Can GF really die?"

"It's hard to say." It was Edea who answered as she started boiling potatoes. "Dr. Odine liked to keep his research rather fragmented and private. He's a paranoid man in general, but I believe it was mostly to keep it away from Adel. He says he invented them, but I wonder..." She looked over her shoulder. "Squall dear, can you get me the butter, over there?" She gestured with the paring knife she was holding.

"I'm sure Odin would have a lot of interest in you," Quistis said wryly.

"Maybe he'd like to return the favour."

"Maybe we only see one projection of them?" Squall questioned, crossing his arms. He stared intently at Seifer's profile. "More than one person can junction the same GF."

"Maybe..." Seifer echoed, now looking at Squall fully. His eyes were so blue...

"Ooh, hang on." Quistis closed her eyes, and suddenly a miniscule version of Diablos, no bigger than a crow, appeared mid-air. The tiny demon seemed put-out, and flopped on Quistis's shoulder, whip-like tail swishing. His wings were droopy and sleepy.

"What?" Diablos asked, his voice holding infinite resonance despite his shrunken form. "I was sleeping." His demonic eyes narrowed dangerously at his mistress.

"Can GF die?" She asked, looking sidelong at him.

"Everything dies. Planets, stars, galaxies."

Quistis rolled her eyes, as if talking to an old friend that was being annoying. "I'm not asking about planets. Seifer thought he felt Odin's presence in the Centra ruins. Could he still be alive?"

Diablos shrugged, his wings making the gesture look even more dramatic. "I don't know. I'm not Odin."

"You've been an enormous help," she murmured sarcastically.

"I don't know if I'd want Odin to be alive if I were you," Diablos said to Seifer before he disappeared with a pop.

"Wow, Quisty. Thanks so much!"

"I can't help it if my GF is a jerk," she said as she went back to her knitting.

"Boys, can you get the china from the hutch in the hall?"

Seifer nodded and got up, Squall slowly following behind him with stiff posture. Seifer started taking silver utensils out of drawers of the antique china hutch, handing them to Squall without looking at him, while Squall stared very closely at the side of his face, eyes like lasers.

"Are you going to pretend I'm not here the entire meal?" Squall asked as some napkins were flung at him. "Aren't you going to say anything?"

"What do you want me to say?" Seifer asked, tone clipped. "Aside from the fact that you've really gone out of your way to stalk me all the way here." He turned to face the shorter man. "So, what? Did you ask Matron to tell you when I was going to show up?"

"I wanted to apologize..."

"You went through all this insane effort just to apologize?" Seifer's voice showed his scepticism.

"I wasn't... stalking you..." Squall mumbled, his shoulders hunching as they did whenever he was feeling particularly shy. "It was only waiting in Coal Hamlet a day or two more, and Quistis was hurt anyway."

Seifer snorted and opened his mouth.

"Would you have let me apologize if I'd tried to call you?" Squall asked before Seifer could get anything out. "And, don't bother denying it because I already know the answer."

"Well, if you have all the answers, why did you bother coming to me for an apology? You know what I'm going to say." He started angrily pulling dishes out of the hutch.

"Because I don't want you to be angry at me."

Squall's voice sounded so sincere and modest that Seifer couldn't help but stop and look over. Most people would have been flabbergasted to see Squall Leonhart like this, but Seifer knew that his coldness was just to mask this deep vulnerability he was showing now. But, so baldly asking for the chance to apologize - that was new.

"Going through this much effort to say you're sorry... Rinoa really has moulded you."

Squall sighed, knowing that Seifer said that to be hurtful, because he himself was hurt. "I'm gonna tell her," he whispered over the clink of dishes. "As soon as I get back to Garden."

"And, what are you going to tell her exactly?"

"The truth."

"Which is what? That you have a sexual attraction to men? That you want to have sex with them? That you want to have sex with me? Do you want to leave her to be with me? Do you hope that she forgives you so you two can live happily ever after? Are you doing it just because you think you should because you feel guilty?"

"I..."

"Squall, you don't know what the truth is." He shook his head and brushed past the other man into the large kitchen that also served as a dining room.

Over dinner, Seifer, Quistis and Raijin talked quite amiably, but Edea noticed how listless Squall was, and how unhappiness hung on him like a mourning shroud. He only half-heartedly picked at his food and mostly looked at his lap.

"Matron, how's Rinoa doing?" Seifer asked, which caused Squall to raise his head. "I mean... in terms of being a Sorceress?"

"Oh, well... scared, of course. I can see the fear in her eyes, but she's really trying. I know how she feels right now. When you first become a Sorceress, it's so frightening to have all this power at your fingertips. It's no wonder that so many of us go bad. You can lose yourself in the magic, and let it consume you. When Ultimecia... came to me..." She trailed off. "It felt like it did when I first took my powers. Like there's something possessing you. And, because Rinoa was possessed _before_ becoming a true Sorceress, she must be extra frightened. But, she'll come through, and I think she'll be legendary. I'm not worried about her giving in to that temptation."

"I really admire her strength," Quistis admitted. "Maybe I wish I could be more like her."

"What's wrong with being like yourself, ya know?!" Raijin asked. "It's not like Rinoa has a fan club in Garden, unlike some people sitting at this table."

"I don't think you and Fujin can count as a 'fan club', but it's nice that you think of yourselves that way." Seifer winked and Quistis couldn't help but grin.

"If Fujin were here, she'd kick you under the table, ya know?!"

"My arrogance did get a smile out of Instructor Sourpuss, so a kick would have been worth it."

"I remember a time when you were in a fan club yourself," Edea mused, smiling wistfully.

"Oh, no... Matron, don't."

Her grin grew wider. "I'm sure today Laguna would think it was very sweet how much you idolized him."

"You were in a fan club for _Laguna_?!" Squall asked, agog.

"Because of that film he was in," Edea responded, smiling very widely now. "You wanted to be just like him!"

"Oh, God..." Seifer loudly slapped his forehead with his palm.

"I think you had a little crush on him," Edea mused. Quistis and Raijin both laughed, and Squall looked disturbed. "It was adorable."

"I think your work here is done," he muttered, face getting redder and hotter by the second.

"Oh, Squall!" Edea exclaimed playfully at the look on his fair face. "Don't look so horrified! Lots of people think rather... um, _fondly_ of your father."

"Like you?" Quistis asked with raised eyebrows and a happy expression on her face.

"I'm a married woman," Edea pointed out solemnly.

"Uh-huh."

Dinner continued pleasantly enough, though Squall slipped into a deeper silence. Edea tried to bring him into the conversation, or ask him about his father, but he just replied with grunts and shrugs. He was thinking about the way Quistis and Edea had praised Rinoa. All of the things they said were very true, and things Squall would agree with completely, but it made guilt rise in him like vomit. Especially when he couldn't _stop_ looking at Seifer. He wanted Seifer to forgive him. He wanted him and Seifer to be okay. He wanted Seifer to... what? Fight for him? Tell Rinoa himself?

"Squall, you hardly ate," Edea scolded as she took his plate away, Seifer helping her. "Oh, Seifer! I know you'll probably shoot down this idea off the bat, but"

"Well, that sells it completely," he interrupted sarcastically as he started filling the sink with water for the dishes.

"There's a young man in town that I think would be perfect for you."

Squall nearly dropped the glass he was picking up, and his back straightened.

"What...?" Seifer asked hesitantly.

"He works at his father's salvage company. He's very sweet, though a little shy."

"Matron..."

"And, he's very good-looking, which I know is important to men."

"Matron..."

"I think you should go and meet him."

"Matron..."

"He thinks you're very handsome, and seems interested."

"Please don't try to fix me up," he demanded, shaking his head.

"Oh, are you seeing someone already?"

Seifer's brow contracted, and he cast the slightest sidelong glance to Squall. "No. I'm not."

"Well, then I don't see what the problem is. I can give you his phone number." She cocked her head when she heard the faint sound of crying. "Oh, dear. Coming!" She called. "Don't bother doing those dishes. You're guests."

"I'll come too," Raijin offered eagerly.

"I wonder if Matron has more handsome men she'd like to give away," Quistis muttered grumpily. Her leg was starting to act up, but Edea's magic was starting to work deeper into her body, making her sleepy.

"Seifer..." Squall began.

The tall blonde just shook his head and exited the kitchen. Squall could hear the sound of the front door opening and closing. Squall looked over to Quistis helplessly. "Just give him some time. You know how... he... is..." Her words were peppered with yawns. "But, I can't really blame him," she added sternly once she'd gotten her yawning under control. "I think you should worry about yourself before you worry about him," she continued as he helped her up.

"I told him I was going to tell Rinoa the truth."

"Well, good. Do you mean it?"

"Yes," he answered coldly.

"It's a valid question," she sniped back. "You've chickened out when you said you were going to come clean before."

Squall didn't answer, helping her up the stairs to her room.

"I think you should go into rehab, too."

He remained silent.

"You're an alcoholic, Squall."

"I'm fine."

"You're not."

"I don't have a problem!" He shouted loudly. Quistis jerked and glared at him. "I don't," he insisted again, voice dropping down to a whisper. "I'm not addicted... I just... enjoy it."

"You're using it as an escape."

Squall flung his hands out as if to swat away her words. " ...Whatever."

Quistis only made a disgusted noise as he stalked out of the room. _I don't have a problem_, he told himself. _What's wrong with wanting to have a drink once in a while? I don't have anything to escape from. Just... everyone expecting me to save the world all the time, putting all kinds of pressure on me. Maybe I don't want to be in charge of everything. This is the whole fucking Ultimecia thing all over again._

_---_

Squall sat on the second-to-last stair, holding his head in his hands. Everyone always expected so much from him. Cid expected him to become Headmaster. Rinoa expected him to be a perfect boyfriend. Everyone expected him and Rinoa to get married and have dozens of children. He didn't want children! He could see the expectation in everyone's eyes. Even the eyes of strangers who followed his personal life in the papers like it was their business, too. Laguna expected him to be this perfect son. Squall could see it in his father's eyes... that he must have been thinking of Raine every time he looked at his only child. _I can't be her! What does he expect from me? Is he... disappointed? I'm sure he had ideas about what kind of person I would be, and I'm sure this isn't it. Is Rinoa upset that things aren't going as well as they should have? She must have had a different vision of what our relationship would be. Have I let her down? Have I let everyone down?_

Squall watched the door, wondering where Seifer was. He still hadn't come back inside. He checked his watch a few times, and internally worked himself into a panic attack about his life. He'd been thinking and waiting for an hour before he stood up and just went outside anyway. Being in Garden all the time, Squall rarely got to see the stars as clearly as he could see them now, twinkling next to the bright, half-full moon. He found Seifer sitting at a weathered picnic table under a large apple tree just beside the flower field. Where he and Rinoa had promised to wait for each other.

"I was waiting for you to come back inside," Squall murmured, coming to the picnic table.

Seifer didn't look up from his notebook, and made some notes.

"Do you mind if I sit?"

"Go ahead," the blonde muttered, flipping a page. Squall lowered himself onto the bench beside the other man. He looked at the top. There were paint smears all over it. He got a vague memory of finger-painting at this very table. Maybe he'd even sat beside Seifer while doing it, like he was now. "Do you ever sometimes feel the loss of our memories like a punch in the gut?" Squall asked, tracing a line of dried green paint with a gloved finger. A cold wind picked up and blew his bangs into his eyes. "Like we lost our entire lives?"

Seifer put down his pen and looked over at Squall seriously. "Sometimes," he replied. "But, since I don't junction GF anymore, I've started to remember more. Mostly me being a huge brat."

"You kinda were," Squall answered. "Still are." He pursed his lips. "I... I really am sorry."

"I know," Seifer answered, picking up his pen again, though he did continue to look at the other man. "Me, too. I flew off the handle. Like always."

"What are you doing?" Squall gestured to the notebook.

"Just checking over some of my notes."

"Anything interesting?"

Seifer cracked a grin. "Wow, you must really be sorry to pretend you care."

"I'm not pretending."

"Where's your huffy 'whatever' and snobbish turn of the head?" Seifer asked, grinning.

Squall glowered.

"It's like you're a completely different person. A delicate, sensitive flower now."

"... Whatever."

Seifer laughed. "There you go." He bumped Squall's shoulder with his own, laughing. "Nice to know Rinoa hasn't completely assimilated you."

"She hasn't..."

"No, I know." Seifer's grin faded. "It's just that you're actually showing that side of yourself now, instead of bottling it up and never letting anyone see that you're more than what you project yourself to be."

The corner of Squall's mouth turned up in an almost-smile. "I can't believe you were in a fan club for Laguna."

"Why is that so hard to believe?" Seifer asked, wrapping his scarf tighter around his throat as the wind got colder. The scarf had been a gift from Quistis. "You find it hard to believe that anyone could have a high opinion of your father?"

"It's... not that... It's just kind of strange to think of him having fans."

"Selphie has an internet page dedicated to him," Seifer pointed out. "I wanted to be him so bad. Laguna Loire was my first crush."

The expression on Squall's face made Seifer laugh loudly.

"Please don't ever say that again."

"Oh, Hyne... are you actually _jealous_?!" Seifer asked, side hurting from laughing so hard.

"I think more nauseous."

"Grow up, Squall." Seifer made a few notes. "Your dad's hot."

"Gross."

Seifer just chuckled, flipping a page.

"So, are tonberrys still as cute as you always thought?"

"Even more so. I can't believe nobody's bothered to study them before. Though, I'm really curious if they mate for life, but I'll have to go back for a few more breeding seasons to find out. They're really very complex, and it's a miracle they can survive for so long around the forbiddens." He closed his mouth. "I'm sure you don't want me to bore you. I could go on for hours."

"I don't mind," Squall murmured quietly. He was becoming very aware of the warmth of Seifer's body pressed against his side.

"I think people are scared of them because whenever anyone goes into the ruins, it's for monster farming, or some other reason that makes the tonberrys scared, and of course they'll defend themselves. Those knives are the only way they can against the forbiddens. And, they use them to forage for roots and underground water."

"They didn't attack you at all?" Squall asked, looking over Seifer's broad shoulder at his notes.

"A couple times they tried if we startled them, and right when we got there, but they got used to us. There was one that would come up to us all the time. We caught her sleeping in our packs once or twice. Sunny was the only one who came into Odin's chamber at all. I wonder if it's kinda a religious spot for them..."

"Sunny?"

"I gave them nicknames for in my notes. It's actually really easy to tell the males and females apart. Males are smaller, and have tails that come to a single point, rather than forked. They also have rounder eyes." Seifer became internally reflective. "I was actually more scared of being in Odin's throne room than anything. Even more than the forbiddens and imps."

"Do you think he's still... alive?"

"I dunno. I don't know if GF are really _alive_ in the first place. I'm not sure if they even have memory or a capacity for revenge. It's not like Diablos was much help."

"I'm sure Quisty will open all her GF textbooks as soon as she gets back."

"Well, I fucking hope they don't have a thirst for vengeance, because I don't really want to get chopped in half."

Squall and Seifer shared a long look and the corner of Squall's perfect mouth turned up. "It _was_ pretty badass when you killed him..."

Seifer's eyebrow cocked. "I'm sure you didn't think so at the time."

"Well, no... I was pretty pissed off at you," Squall said quietly. They were leaning closer together without even realizing they were doing it, until their sides were pressed flush against each other. They were becoming acutely aware of their closeness to each other, and how their heads were coming closer and closer together, so that eventually their foreheads were touching. They didn't try to kiss, but just felt the closeness.

"A far cry from following tonberrys around all day, and boring people with every tiny detail about them." He found that his hand was now moving of its own accord, and twined itself with Squall's, the leather of their gloves creaking as Squall completed the touch, his hand strongly closing around Seifer's.

"I like how passionate and romantic you are about it. Well, about everything. You and Rinoa are a lot alike that way. Maybe that's why you two got along so well. Maybe that's why I like both of you so much."

"Maybe that's your type," muttered Seifer bitterly, leaning back and wrenching his hand from Squall's.

"Now _you_ sound jealous."

"Of course I do!" Seifer hissed.

Squall opened his mouth, but nothing would come out. He desperately wanted to ask Seifer about what the future held for them, and if there even was a 'them'. But he became terrified of the answer, especially in the face of all the hostility in Seifer's peridot eyes.

Seifer waited to see if Squall was going to say anything, and when there was only silence on the other man's behalf, the tall blonde slammed his notebook shut and rose from the picnic table. He started going back to the house when he heard Squall say something that was lost in the wind because it had been such a fragile whisper.

"What?" Seifer asked tensely, turning around. Squall was looking down at the paint-stained table, his face unreadable in the shadows.

"Do you want to be with me?" He asked, not looking up. He felt like he'd just ripped his heart out of his chest and offered it up to be stomped upon.

Seifer stood there, dumbly. The completely raw and unguarded emotion laced in that question made Seifer lose his equilibrium. When Squall looked up and they made eye contact, Seifer felt like he was falling. "You don't know the answer to that?"

"I should," Squall replied. "I know you better than I know anyone. Just looking in your eyes, I should know. But... I don't." It hurt him to admit that, because he and Seifer were always so in tune with what the other was thinking. He searched Seifer's face, the angles highlighted by the bright moonlight. "I will tell Rinoa."

Seifer sighed bitterly and looked away. He just couldn't keep looking in Squall's eyes like that. "I want to believe you. But, I don't know if I can," he admitted sadly before going back to the house, leaving Squall sitting alone at the picnic table in the cold, lonely wind.

Squall walked up the front steps of Balamb Garden like he was walking towards the gas chamber. He was standing close to Quistis in case she needed his help walking, but she refused his arm. She wanted to walk under her own power. When Squall saw Rinoa standing there, waving at him, his will faltered. He knew he had to tell her, but looking at how pretty she looked in that same blue duster she'd been wearing when he realized he loved her, it became much harder to tell her the truth. That he'd been lying to her for pretty much their whole relationship, and that while he loved her, he loved someone else, too. How could he break her beautiful heart like that?

When he looked over at Quistis, he saw that her sapphire blue eyes were locked on him. He could see the unconditional friendship and love there, and it gave him resolve. He knew he _had_ to do this. He had to fix things. He had to fix his life.

"You're doing the right thing," Quistis muttered out of the side of her mouth. Her leg started throbbing badly, so she had to finally put her hand on Squall's arm and used him as a living, breathing cane. Cid was standing beside Rinoa, smiling jovially.

"Nice to have our two top SeeD back!" Cid beamed, bouncing on the balls of his feet. "I'm heading away to a conference in Deling City, so I was hoping to get to your report now" He frowned and adjusted his glasses when he saw Quistis limping. "Edea called to tell me you were injured."

"It's just a little sore, Sir. Hi, Rinoa." Quistis reached out and squeezed her friend's shoulder with her free arm.

"Hi," Rinoa replied stiffly. Her eyes moved to where Quistis's hand was gripping Squall's arm. Quistis noticed and frowned.

"You look pretty," Squall commented lowly, not feeling comfortable kissing her in front of the Headmaster.

Rinoa just stared at him, looking between his face and Quistis's.

"Sir, I'll give the report," Squall offered. "So Quistis can go see Dr. Kadowaki."

"That's fine. Want to go to my office?" Cid gestured for Squall to walk with him.

"Thanks!" Quistis called after him. "Oh, man... even with Matron's magic, my leg is still killing me," she said cheerfully to Rinoa. "How have things been going here?" She asked a little nervously. Rinoa was still eyeing her in an unfriendly manner. Her cold shoulder was downright Squall-esque.

"How was your mission?" Rinoa asked, feeling so conflicted inside. She couldn't ignore all the rumours flying around Garden, or the fact that Squall hadn't even called her when he'd gotten back within the presence of a phone. She couldn't ignore how close Quistis was to her boyfriend. But, she also couldn't ignore the worry she felt when she watched her friend limping.

"Okay, I guess." Quistis frowned as they started walking towards the infirmary at a slow pace. "Rinoa... do you think we should try an intervention for Squall?"

She pursed her heart-shaped mouth. "I've thought of it, too. Was he drinking...?"

Quistis nodded.

Rinoa sighed. She had no idea what to do about Squall's drinking problem. She looked over at Quistis's profile as the blonde chatted about the mission and Edea. "Are you and Squall having an affair?" She blurted out, quiet enough that no students walking past them would overhear.

Quistis's step faltered as they stopped in the hallway leading to the infirmary. It was deserted, save the two women. "What?"

"Just tell me the truth!" Rinoa demanded desperately, her voice wobbling. "_Are you_?!"

"Why would you think that?" Quistis asked, shocked.

Rinoa looked down at her feet, tears pooling in her coffee brown eyes.

"So, you believe all the rumours?"

Rinoa's head snapped up at the pain in Quistis's voice. "You spend more time with Squall than I do..." She trailed off lamely.

"You believe I'm the whore that everyone says I am, right?" Tears were also forming in Quistis's eyes, so much so that Rinoa was blurry before her.

"No, but I know that you've been in love with Squall for years!"

"Rinoa..."

"Just tell me the truth!" She demanded, magic starting to crackle around her in agitation.

Quistis's mouth trembled as her tears fell down her cheeks. The pain in her leg was nothing to compared to the shredded feeling in her stomach. "Yes, I love Squall, but like a brother. Like a best friend, the same way I love you."

"I had to tell you what I feel!" Rinoa exclaimed defensively. "Are you?" She asked again, hands clasped in front of her bosom.

Quistis wiped her cheeks with badly shaking hands. "What's the point, Rinoa? You won't believe me, not matter what I say." Her voice was stuffy with the crying fit she was trying to suppress. "I thought at least you would have believed in me." She wasn't able to control it anymore, and dashed into the infirmary as fast as her injured leg would let her, sobbing into her hands.

"Quistis!" Rinoa called, hating herself but still suspecting deep down that her suspicions were correct. She was now crying just as hard as the other woman. "Quisty, wait!" She took a step towards the closed infirmary doors, but stopped and instead turned and went the other direction, not knowing what to believe.

Squall's brow was furrowed in its typical manner when he finally made his way to his dorm room. He'd stopped at the infirmary to check on Quistis and tell her how the report went, and to also get some last-minute support from her about his impeding conversation with Rinoa, but she'd been crying really hard, and Dr. Kadowaki had shooed him out before he could find out what happened.

"Hey," he called to Rinoa, closing the door behind him. His heart was beating so fast that he was surprised he wasn't dropping dead from a heart attack. "Listen... umm... Rinoa, we have... we have to talk," he sputtered. He could taste bile on the back of his tongue.

"Talk?" Rinoa echoed. She'd been sitting on the edge of the bed, feeling lost. She could tell that it was something important, otherwise Squall wouldn't be so flustered.

"Yeah," he muttered, sitting on the edge of the bed beside her. "It's pretty important."

"I'll bet," Rinoa muttered under her breath, her magical aura starting to become charged.

Squall really looked at her, and noticed that her eyes were red-rimmed. "Have you been crying?" He asked, brushing some hair off her cheek.

She slapped his hand away. "You don't need to 'talk' to me. I already know, Squall." She stood up with her arms crossed, and looked down at him angrily. "Why didn't you and Quistis just tell me that you were in love? Or, at least that you wanted to have sex with each other?"

"What?" Squall frowned. "What are you talking about? Wait was Quistis upset because of you?" He rose to his feet, and also crossed his arms, anger rising in him. "What did you say to her?!" He demanded, raising his voice.

"I asked her to tell me the truth!" Rinoa shot back, her voice also raising.

"How _dare_ you accuse Quistis, especially after all the bullshit that's going on!"

"How dare the two of you go around behind my back! It's so obvious, like you weren't even trying to hide it." She stepped forward and poked Squall in the chest with a finger. She could smell alcohol, lingering under the smell of mouthwash.

He slapped her hand away roughly. "I am not having an affair with Quistis. You call yourself her friend to just go up and act like a total cunt and hurt her feelings?"

"What did you call me?" She snapped. Magic, crackling like lightning, coiled around her hands. She balled them into fists to quash it.

"You heard me," he hissed.

"You're drunk," she said sadly. Bitterly. "I just can't believe..."

"So, I'm not allowed to be friends with women because it will crush your fragile ego?" He interrupted. He was being meaner than he would have if he were sober, but he was angry on Quistis's behalf. She truly was his best friend, and he cared more about her reputation than he did about his own.

"It's more than friendship, right?"

"I'm not fucking Quistis, you idiot!" He shouted in her face, so loudly that she gasped and jerked in shock.

She blinked at him, tears falling from her eyes. "I think you should leave."

"Good," he muttered coldly. It made Rinoa's lips tremble.

"I can't put up with you like this, Squall!" She reached out and grabbed his arm. "This isn't you! What happened? Why did you start drinking?" She shook him. "Why won't you tell me what you're thinking?!"

"Maybe an annoying, nosy girlfriend who believes nonsense rumours about people she claims are her friends is the reason I started drinking." He yanked his arm from her grip. His skin burned under his clothes from contact with her magically charged fingers.

"So, are you saying you want to break up with me?"

Squall just shrugged, body still thrumming with anger, fuelled by the quadruple scotch he'd snuck in his office before attempting this confrontation.

"Don't just shrug, Squall!" She put her hands on her hips. "Why does it always have to be this way with you? Didn't you learn anything from all that's happened?!"

"...Whatever."

"Fine!" She huffed. "If you don't want to make the effort for us, then fine!" A couple of stray books on the desk danced and flopped because of Rinoa's magic. "Just go. Go and be with Quistis! Go and get drunk like you always do and never face anything in your life! I just wish you actually wanted to try and work this out! Why does it always have to be this way?! Why don't you tell me what you're thinking?!"

"Fuck you."

"Get out."

"Fine by me." Squall stormed out and slammed the door behind him.

---

The wind coming off the Dollet Sea were bitter, the waters mingling with the currents from the Sorbald Ocean. It cut right through Seifer's motorcycle jacket. He parked his bike between a compact, eco-friendly electric car, and one that looked like a gust of wind would dismantle it. As he walked towards his modest apartment building, he put down his gym bag and crouched to pet a cat sitting among the bushes near the metal steps. It belonged to a guy named Ivan in the building that he saw around campus sometimes. He was in a completely different program than him, but they were on speaking terms, which Seifer didn't mind because he was pretty good-looking, and they flirted rather shamelessly together. Seifer was considering asking him out.

"I don't have anything." Seifer spread his hands out when the cat started to sniff at him. It meowed at him as he picked up his bag again and started trudging up the stairs. Being a relatively cheap apartment converted from an old hat factory, there were no elevators. Seifer could have afforded to live in the Parkheaven district of Dollet, where all the posh lofts and uber-expensive shops were, but that might have made some people question where he was getting the money for such a lifestyle. After all, you weren't a secret assassin if your secret got out. In fact, he'd just come from that neighbourhood, killing a man by the name of Power Waterbottom. Seifer had no clue why the client had asked Sol to kill him, but wondered if it had something to do with his stupid name. He'd laughed and asked Eris if she were joking, but she's just stared at him icily and said "I never joke", which was pretty true. She and Fujin probably would have gotten along great.

Seifer opened the door to his floor, and faltered when he saw Squall waiting near his door. He was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed, staring off into space. The other man looked up at the sound of the door closing, and their eyes met. Seifer became aware that he was holding a gym bag full of gun parts, and tried not to let the bag jostle too much, so Squall wouldn't hear the metal pieces within banging against each other. Squall might have noticed the secretive look in Seifer's eyes if he'd been a little more sober, and if his mind wasn't so preoccupied in _other_ realms.

When Seifer came to a stop in front of his apartment door, his eyes were fixated completely on the other man, roaming all over his face and body. Squall had been on a train to Timber to catch the connection to Dollet within an hour of his blow-out with Rinoa, and before coming to Seifer's, he'd stopped to pick up a new three-piece suit in pure black, perfectly tailored and paired with a deep navy blue shirt. He'd wanted to look enticing and inviting, and knew he'd succeeded by the way Seifer was staring at him. He also wore a cologne that Seifer had mentioned he liked, once upon a time when they'd both still been students.

"Wh... what are you doing here...?" Seifer asked, surprised he could even talk. "Wait a minute." A glimmer of clarity beamed its way into his muddled haze of desire. "How did you know where I lived?" Squall opened his mouth, but Seifer held his free hand up. "You know what? Never mind. You wouldn't be a very good stalker if you didn't."

"Can I come in?" Squall asked, voice much calmer than the inside of him was.

"Why?" Seifer demanded.

"Can I come in?"

"Is that Memento?" Seifer murmured, smelling the masculine scent. "I always liked that cologne."

"I know."

Seifer dug his nails into the inside of his palm to keep himself grounded. And, to not let his dick take complete control of him. "How long have you been waiting here?"

Squall shrugged a shoulder. "Maybe twenty minutes. Can I come in?"

Seifer bit the inside of his cheek. He didn't know if letting Squall inside was a good idea, but even if Squall had come all this way to tell him something like 'Quistis said hi', he would never want to talk in a hallway. "Fine."

Squall only briefly looked around Seifer's threadbare apartment, noticing the piles of books, both educational and recreational. His eyes weren't for what furniture Seifer had.

"So?" Seifer asked, carefully putting the duffel bag down. He heard the sound of something banging together in there and really hoped Squall hadn't noticed. "What's so impor--"

"Rinoa and I broke up," Squall interrupted.

"Oh. I'm sorry to hear that. But, a phone call couldn't have sufficed?"

"You know why I came here."

"Despite how slutty you think I am, I don't just fuck any man that comes to my door," Seifer said breezily, moving towards the kitchen.

Squall stuck his arm out, preventing an escape. "Stop being infuriating."

"But, I'm so good at it." He found himself pressed into a corner, boxed in by Squall's arms on either side of him, gloved palms pressed against the wall. "Squall. Don't."

"Don't what?" He asked, stepped closer. "You mean you don't want to fuck me? And don't lie, or else I'll know." Squall's body was now entirely pressed to Seifer's.

Seifer made an exasperated noise of irritation and brushed Squall's arms out of the way, though he didn't move. They just stared at each other, and Seifer kind of forgot why he was objecting to this. But, when he realized this, his body had already told his brain to screw off, and he had Squall pressed up against the wall so hard that the door to the coat closet rattled. Squall was pushed up the wall so that his feet dangled, and he wrapped his legs around Seifer's hips and thighs as their mouths assaulted each other with fervour. Seifer's hands moved under the jacket of Squall's suit and ran up and down his ribcage, fingers working at the fastenings of the waistcoat.

They only came up for air long enough for Squall to pull Seifer's t-shirt over his head, then their lips mashed together once more. Squall's shirt got unbuttoned between their bodies, and Seifer's hands touched Squall's bare flesh for the first time that he could remember. He let his fingers hover over the lean lines of Squall's abdomen, and let himself soak in the softness of his flesh, the warmth coming from underneath it. How his chest rose and fell under Seifer's palms. How Seifer was actually feeling Squall breathe. How he was feeling him live. That he was there and real.

Squall did some quick, fancy handwork to get his gloves off in fractions of a second so his hands could stay in almost constant contact with Seifer's body, hard with muscle and raw desire. He'd fantasized for hours in the dark of his office or bedroom about how it would feel to touch Seifer's body, and to have Seifer's hands all over his own. Inside his own.

He felt Seifer's strong hands suddenly grip his thighs, and he was being carried. He felt like he weighed nothing in Seifer's arms like this. He probably wouldn't have been able to walk anywhere right now, anyway. The only parts of his body he could feel were the parts that were being touched by the other man. He felt himself landing on something soft, and realized that they must have been in Seifer's bedroom. He brushed his bangs out of his eyes so he could look up at Seifer, who was kneeling between his splayed legs. The moonlight was coming through the open curtains, highlighting the contours of Seifer's perfect torso. The jacket and waistcoat of his new and rather expensive suit were unceremoniously dropped to the floor in a pile destined to create nasty wrinkles, and when Seifer started undoing his belt and pants, Squall became a little nervous. He'd always been very, very self-conscious about his body, being so naturally thin. He had to work _really_ hard to build muscle, and he really envied men like Seifer and Zell who seemed to get rock-hard muscles through very little effort. He found that he couldn't look in Seifer's eyes when all his clothes joined the jacket on the floor, and he was laying naked under the scrutiny of Seifer's hands and gaze. His cheeks felt like they were on fire as the silence stretched on, Seifer's hands still and unmoving on his thighs. Squall's bright blue eyes narrowed and he managed to look up when he heard Seifer laughing.

"What are you laughing at?" He asked, starting to feel ashamed.

Seifer cocked his head, still chuckling when he met Squall's gaze. "You," he answered firmly, like it was the simplest answer in the world. "How you come here all coquettish and like some seductress, not subtle at all about it being for sex, and you're still shy about me seeing you naked?" He tried to stop, but couldn't help that he was still smiling widely. "It's so... cute. And, so _you_."

"Don't make fun of me," he muttered.

"I'm not," Seifer replied huskily. He'd been struck dumb by finally seeing Squall's naked body. Since he'd become sexually aware, what Squall would look like naked had been his staple masturbation fantasy. And, looking at Squall's body now, anything he'd dreamed up paled in comparison to the real thing. His body was filled with willowy grace, his stomach hard and flat, his penis long and straight, perfect and inviting. "So, you can get that worried look off your face."

"I'm not..." Squall mumbled, embarrassed. He reclined so he was resting his weight on his elbows.

Seifer chuckled again.

"...Whatever."

"Aww, our first during-sex 'whatever'." Seifer's hands started moving down Squall's torso until they found his genitals that Seifer so much wanted to feel, touch and taste. "How adorable."

"Stop making fun... of... me..." Squall's voice hitched when Seifer's fist closed around the base of his penis and he started masturbating him.

Squall's eyes closed and rolled up under his eyelids. He wrapped his arms around Seifer's shoulders and found his mouth. He rose to his knees and melded his body to Seifer's, thinking it was quite ridiculous that he was naked, and Seifer was still wearing pants. It was completely wrong. As he unbuttoned Seifer's pants, he had to keep stopping when he became overcome with pleasure, moaning into Seifer's mouth, or rolling his head onto Seifer's broad shoulder, Seifer's mouth chasing him and scorching a trail down his neck and across his shoulder. Squall's nerves sang wherever the hot warmth of Seifer's mouth touched him, like he was being branded.

His hand slipped into Seifer's pants and freed his genitals. He made a very masculine noise in the back of his throat when he felt the throb of Seifer's pulse in the engorged veins, when he felt the masculinity, the largeness. He closed his fingers around the thick base possessively. He pulled back far enough so he could ravish Seifer's body with his eyes. He wanted to stare at Seifer's cock for hours. He wanted to admire and explore it. And, he wanted it inside him more than anything. Their hands got to know each other's bodies, and Squall pulled Seifer down on top of him, mostly by his cock, which caused Seifer to groan.

He didn't have to say 'fuck me', because it was written all over the dark lust in his face, and it was etched in his eyes. And, he knew that Seifer could read it, just like he knew that Seifer wanted the exact same thing that he did. He moaned when Seifer's weight pressed down on top of him, and his legs were spread wider. Though their actions were fierce and direct, the way that Seifer kissed him was far more... romantic. Like it was about more than just relieving the sexual tension that had been building between them since that kiss they'd shared in Squall's office just over a year ago. Like maybe Seifer actually did love him.

Squall lazily opened his eyes when Seifer sat up. The other man was looking down at him with kiss-bruised lips and peridot eyes alight with lust. There was a small smile on his lips, and Squall could read his expression perfectly. That he just wanted to enjoy the moment. It made Squall feel closer to him, to know what Seifer was thinking just by looking into his eyes. And, that it was the same for Seifer. Seifer would never say 'tell me what you're thinking', because he already knew. Squall sat up when Seifer leaned over towards a beat-up nightstand. He started kissing Seifer's neck, and held him firmly, exploring his shoulders with his tongue. When Seifer let out a groan, he knew he'd found a sweet spot. He gently bit the skin, which elicited a louder groan. Squall slid into Seifer's lap, biting that spot again, a little harder this time. His fingers found Seifer's nipples and started stroking them in small, quick circles, pinching them to make Seifer groan again.

It was Squall's turn to groan when he felt Seifer's hands move all the way down his back. One hand moved between his buttocks, and stroked the sensitive skin around his anus. He gasped into Seifer's ear when a finger pushed into his body. Seifer's brow furrowed as he felt Squall panting against the side of his neck and face. His breath was warm and balmy, and made the whole thing seem far more real, that this wasn't just some wonderful fantasy that he was going to be rudely awakened from. Squall pulled Seifer down so they were laying on the mattress. He pushed Seifer's hand away, and positioned his hips against Seifer's, feeling the head of the other man's cock pressing against his rectum. Squall groaned as he was penetrated, pushing his hips against Seifer's to fill himself faster. There was discomfort as his body had to expand, but he found that he actually really _liked_ the pain of it. He liked how his body was conforming to the shape of Seifer's penis, how the tingling moved up his spine, at how stupid it was to call this 'discomfort'. The pain felt wonderful.

Seifer started slowly working his hips against Squall, looking down at him. It was nice to see Squall with such a relaxed, care-free look on his face. The inside of his body was very hot and tight and articulated. When Squall's rectal muscles squeezed around him, the wave of pleasure bowed Seifer's back, and he pressed his face into Squall's neck as their hips found a slow rhythm. Seifer's mouth moved down his chest and closed around Squall's right nipple. He arched his back up and thrust his hips hard against Seifer's, groaning in delight when Seifer's cock pressed deeper within him.

Their bodies moved as one, in perfect unison, matching each other's paces as if they'd done this together hundreds of times. He could hear Seifer breathing his name, and he wasn't even sure what he was saying as Seifer pulled out, then jammed back into him in one hard, fast, possessive and utterly perfect thrust. Squall could feel it all the way up his spine, and he could feel sweat growing on Seifer's muscular back

Seifer smothered Squall's mouth with his own, wanting to devour his full lips and swallow the breath from his lungs. Squall's hand took his own and moved it down around the shaft of his penis. As Squall's hands touched him, as he stroked his genitals and felt Squall from the inside, he wondered why he'd hesitated at Squall's advances, why he hadn't fucked him in his office that day. He could have felt this so much sooner. This intense physical pleasure coupled with complete emotional familiarity. He moaned when Squall's internal muscles coiled around him, and he felt Squall's mouth smile against his.

Squall's legs, which had been holding his hips up, gave out when an orgasm started to flow through his body, breaking like a tsunami. The shockwave moved up his spine, debilitating him. He could only hold onto Seifer's sweaty shoulders and let it rush through him, Seifer still thrusting against him. In the haze of the blood rushing at top speed through his body, he searched the dim light for Seifer's eyes. His heart raced at the intimacy of looking into Seifer's cat green eyes at the point of the other man's orgasm. They were both panting and moaning as their bodies shuddered and sang together, hips still rolling together to milk the last ounces of pleasure they could from each other.

Seifer's weight collapsed on top of Squall, and he lay his head on the other man's chest, listening to his slowing heartbeat. He could feel Squall's fingers lightly stroking across the back of his shoulders, and across the nape of his neck. Squall's semen was a sticky mess between their sweaty torsos, but neither was in much of a hurry to move to clean it off. Sex with Squall Leonhart was something Seifer had fantasized about forever, and now that it actually happened, he had this huge, inexplicable feeling within him. Growing possibility for more? Fear that nothing would come of it? He wasn't sure. He felt Squall's lips press against his forehead, and he slowly lolled his head so his chin was resting on the other man's breastbone, and they were meeting each other's eyes. Squall had a contented look on his face that made Seifer's heart start beating fast once more. And, when he smiled, blood started rushing to his genitals all over again.

"You're really beautiful when you smile," Seifer murmured, voice quiet with afterglow. His hands slowly traced the lines of Squall's waist and hips.

"And, I should do it more often, right?" He asked with the air of someone who got that comment frequently.

Seifer lazily shrugged a shoulder. "Wouldn't be as special if you did it all the time."

Squall tried not to let his face show how touching that comment was to him. "The same thing could be said about you," he replied instead.

"Hey, I smile all the time."

"An arrogant smirk isn't a smile."

"You got me there," was the muffled answer as Seifer pressed his mouth against the side of Squall's neck, kissing his warm and damp skin. Squall's arms tightened around Seifer as the other man's lips found sensitive spots on Squall's throat, and did wonderful things to them.

"You know..." Squall trailed off as Seifer's mouth moved upward and was teasing his jaw line. "I think I really like anal sex."

Seifer chuckled as their lips found each other and they shared a lengthy kiss. "I _do_ still have half a box of condoms to use up."

Squall tried to pretend that he was wholly disinterested in that idea, but his body kind of gave him away. His and Seifer's limbs twined together, mouths fused as their breath and their bodies mingled as one. It wasn't until well near dawn until they were both sated and fell into deep, unmoving sleep where it was hard to tell where one body ended and the other began.

---

"I'm sure he'll come back soon," Selphie assured. She and Rinoa were sitting in the library, talking quietly. Selphie had Rinoa's hands between her own as the novice Sorceress sniffled, her eyes puffy and red. "It's Squall. Garden's the only place he has to go."

Rinoa tried to smile, but just couldn't muster it. Instead she looked away from Selphie's gaze and scratched Angelo's ears.

"Why would Quistis do this?" Selphie exclaimed angrily. "I don't know why she would want to hurt you. I never thought she could be such a bitch." It was very rare for Selphie to speak ill of someone, especially a close friend like Quistis, but she felt very angry on Rinoa's behalf. She'd become their 'Princess', just like she'd been with the Forest Owls.

"I don't think she did it on purpose..." Rinoa trailed off. "Squall was so mad, and I don't know where he could be."

"You should call him."

"That would just make him angrier," the dark-haired girl snuffled.

Selphie bit her lip. "Yeah, that's probably true." She cocked her head and looked over her shoulder when she heard voices coming into the deserted library sitting area.

"So, you're sure?" Xu asked, making sure her voice carried.

"I am," Quistis answered. "It's for the best." When they came to the sitting area, and saw Selphie and Rinoa sitting there, stiff and staring straight at Quistis with darkness in their eyes, Quistis froze. Xu kept her voice blank, though she'd chosen to come here with her friend on purpose, Astor having told her that Selphie and Rinoa were in here.

"Oh! Hi, guys..." Quistis trailed off sadly. Rinoa still had wet tears on her cheeks, and Selphie just shook her head angrily.

"Where's Squall?" Selphie demanded, rising to her feet.

"I... I don't know," Quistis muttered. She had a very good idea about where Squall had gone, though.

"Don't lie!" Selphie exclaimed angrily. It was so alien to see that kind of look on her face.

"I'm..." Quistis began.

"How could you hurt Rinoa like that?"

"I didn't!" She protested quietly.

"He's been gone all weekend," Rinoa whispered. She tried not to look at Quistis, because it was making her stomach swoop in anger, and also in bitter sadness. It was surprising how quick she'd come to consider the blonde to be her dearest and best friend, so this betrayal was even harder to swallow. "Just... tell me if he's okay!"

"I don't know," Quistis snapped. "But, Squall can take care of himself," she continued frostily. "And, maybe he doesn't _want_ to come back right now." A big part of her just wanted to blurt out the truth, but her loyalty wouldn't allow her to betray Squall's confidence like that.

"Quisty, maybe we could talk somewhere else," Xu pointed out, internally gleeful at the strife between the girls.

"You don't have to be a bitch about it, Quistis," was Selphie's low reply.

"And, it's nice to know you'd give me the benefit of the doubt. You and Rinoa both would rather believe some newspaper or stupid rumour than believe me. I shouldn't have to defend myself to people who claim to be my friends," she hissed, getting angry. "Maybe when I'm in Galbadia, Rinoa will start to wonder if _you're_ fucking Squall."

"Stop it!" Rinoa exclaimed, standing. Angelo made a noise of distress at her mistress's sudden outburst. "Just tell me where Squall is!" Magic was starting to leak from her in all her agitation , and because of her emotional state, she was having a problem getting it under control.

"Rinoa!" Selphie exclaimed when crackles of white light flowed from Rinoa's body, making loud popping noises.

"No," Rinoa moaned to herself, balling her hands into fists, magic exploding from between her clenched fingers like fireworks. Books flew off a nearby shelf, and a chair flew across the room, smashing against the wall. Pieces of broken wood cracked one of the windows. "Stop, stop, stop, stop!" She urged herself.

"Rinoa!!" Selphie exclaimed as the other girl's body turned white with magic, translucent angel wings exploding from Rinoa's back. "Oh, God!! Rinoa!" The sprightly brunette started to run towards her friend, beams of light making it hard to see.

"NO!" Quistis shouted, grabbing Selphie by the back of her t-shirt. A sound like a bomb ripped through the library, and Quistis flung Selphie and Xu away, instinctively shielding them with her own body as everything went white, Rinoa's screaming muted by the thick, oppressive silence of magic.

When the blinding light cleared, it left stars in everyone's eyes. Xu and Selphie were splattered with the hot, red wetness of Quistis's blood from a large gash in the side of her neck. Rinoa was curled up on the floor, panting and sobbing.

"You okay?" Quistis asked, blood pouring down her arm. She could feel the stinging pain of burns on her back.

"Yeah..." Xu trailed off, shaking her head to clear the spots from her vision.

"Rinoa!" Selphie exclaimed, batting Quistis's hand away. She crawled across the floor, gingerly putting her hands on Rinoa's back. It felt like touching a running machine. The vibration of energy was prominent under the cashmere of Rinoa's camisole.

"You should go to the infirmary," Xu told Quistis, whose face was quickly getting pale from the blood loss.

"Is she okay?" Quistis asked thickly.

"What do you care?!" Selphie exclaimed.

Rinoa was able to sit up only with Selphie's help. She felt like she'd just gone through a juicer, and all her nerves were on fire. She could see all the blood on Quistis's chest, and the pool of it that was growing around her knees. "Oh, Hyne..."

"It's okay," Selphie whispered, stroking Rinoa's bangs off her sweaty forehead. "It wasn't your fault," she murmured, hugging her friend and giving Quistis an unfriendly look.

"Come on," Xu urged, lifting Quistis up by the elbow, casting some quick cure magic on her to prevent the bleeding until Dr. Kadowaki could do something more permanent.

"You should go to the infirmary," Selphie told Rinoa gently. "And, I'll call Matron."

Rinoa could only nod. Selphie started to help her to her feet, but she slumped when she noticed Angelo laying nearby. "Angelo, come on."

The dog was unresponsive.

"You okay, girl?" Rinoa flopped back to the ground, and crawled over to her dog, whose eyes were open, the dark brown now white and filmed from the heat of the magical explosion. "Angelo?" Rinoa asked quietly, voice cracking. "Angelo?!" She reached out and shook her dog's body. "Angelo??! No, no no no no!! Angelo!!?"

"Rinoa..." Quistis trailed off.

"Just go away," she whispered, burying her face in Angelo's fur, her body already starting to go cold.

---

For two days, Squall and Seifer spent little time out of bed. They discovered every inch of each other's bodies through hours of intimate exploration. Seifer teased Squall about how exacting his oral sex technique was, though he really did quite enjoy it, and Squall knew it from the reactions he got from Seifer's body and voice box. Like what was currently happening. Seifer was sure he was going to rip out one of the posts in his headboard as Squall's tongue worked the engorged, sensitive shaft of his erection. His other hand was curled with Squall's, fingers digging into the back of his hand. He'd been trying to hold off ejaculation as long as he possibly could, but even Seifer's iron resolve could only hold out for half an hour, and he came hard into Squall's mouth, moaning his name and panting like he'd just run a marathon.

Squall wiped some saliva off his chin and lay himself out against Seifer's side, hand splayed on his muscular abdomen so he could feel it rising and falling quickly with Seifer's breath. He felt Seifer's hand run through his hair, and felt a great air of contentment. He didn't have to worry about anything here. It was the perfect escape, and he didn't have to feel like someone was expecting him to save the world.

"I'm thinking maybe we should actually get out of bed," Seifer said when his voice was able to work properly. "Maybe we could go out for dinner."

Some of the worry he was escaping from came back, like a cold worm in his stomach. "Oh... Maybe we could just stay in?"

Seifer could feel Squall tensing up beside him. "Why? Are the cops after you about Evan or something?" He teased.

"Evan?" Squall echoed.

"Yeah. They came here a few days ago."

"Why are they after you?" Squall wondered. "What did you do?" He asked, giving Seifer a knowing look.

"Nothing!" He protested. "They were just asking me about him."

"What about him? When you beat him up?"

Seifer's scarred brow creased. "Uhh, about his death. You didn't know?" He asked at Squall's sudden surprise.

"No."

"He died in Deling City under strange circumstances."

"Strange how? Fatal gunblade wound?"

"I didn't have anything to do with it," Seifer muttered. "I was on a boat to Centra at the time, so my alibi's pretty air-tight. Though... I kind of wish I had killed him. He spontaneously combusted. They're thinking magic, but magical murder is so hard to prove."

"I guess he might have had other enemies..." Squall's fingers traced the lines of Seifer's chest. He wondered if Quistis would be pleased that he was dead. Maybe not, though. She wasn't that vengeful.

"So, steak? Pasta? There's a great sushi place not far from here." Seifer asked, not wanting to talk about Evan anymore, especially not when he was laying next to Squall like this.

Again, Squall went tense. "Maybe just stay in."

"Why?" He asked, starting to get suspicious. "You worried to be seen in public with me?"

"Well..."

Seifer's eyes narrowed, afterglow turning quickly to annoyance.

"Not like that," Squall stated firmly. "I just wouldn't want Rinoa to know before I told her."

"You didn't tell her?" Seifer snapped, sitting up. Euphoria was completely gone now. "You said you broke up with her!" He hissed. "Were you lying?"

"No." Squall also sat up, brushing his bangs out of his eyes. "I started to, but then she flew into me about me and Quistis. Before I could explain, she and Quisty had this big row, and I just snapped and started yelling at her. I stormed out before I could tell her about us."

Seifer's expression showed his displeasure.

"Don't be angry."

"So, even though you broke up with her, we're still sneaking around."

"I'll tell her. As soon as I go back to Balamb. She deserves more than hearing it over the phone. I promise," he added firmly when Seifer still looked highly doubtful.

Seifer just shook his head.

"I can make it up to you." Squall leaned in and started kissing Seifer's earlobe, licking it and pressing it between his cheeks. "I could dig out one of my Garden uniforms, if you want," he breathed against the curl of Seifer's ear.

Seifer's peridot eyes rolled into the back of his head at the ministrations. "Well, I suppose," he playfully grumped. "But, I really am actually hungry. I guess we can order something in. What do you want?" He asked, dragging himself out of the rumpled, sweat-dampened sheets.

"Whatever," Squall answered, watching Seifer's naked form as he walked across the room. Moving for him was a bit more of a task. Though he'd penetrated Seifer a few times, and really enjoyed it, he vastly preferred to be the bottom, and he could feel it when he tried to stand, a stiffness that moved up his spine as he stretched. The two men shared a joint shower. They were too burned out on sex to have yet another romp under the stream of water, but still enjoyed the close proximity of one another.

As Seifer made a take-out order over the phone, Squall discovered the downside of leaving Balamb so quickly. He only had the clothes he'd been wearing. He knew he's have to wear his suit back home, and all the other man's clothes were way too big on him, so he had to settle for wearing a silk bathrobe that had the smell of Seifer's soap and shampoo embedded in the fabric.

"This robe is nice," Squall commented, feeling the silk between his fingers as he sat on the couch, actually inspecting Seifer's apartment, aside from the bedroom, for the first time.

"Matron gave it to me on my birthday," Seifer replied, voice wafting from the bedroom as he got dressed.

Squall started thumbing through a textbook. When Seifer was dressed, he came out and hovered in the open doorway between the living room and tiny kitchen, looking at Squall. The hazy sun, hidden behind overcast clouds, hit Squall's wet hair, making it look auburn. It highlighted the smoothness of his skin. The robe was too big, so it slouched at the shoulder and gaped at the leg, exposing pale, naked flesh. It was still hard to believe that he was here, and real, and all of this wasn't some dream. Squall found an interesting passage in the biology text, and started concentrating on reading, oblivious to the way Seifer was looking at him. Seifer could have watched him forever, even doing something as simple as reading.

"You want to watch a movie?" Squall asked distractedly, looking at a diagram of a simple organism's anatomy.

"Hmm? Sure, whatever..." Seifer only looked away from the other man when there was a knock at the door from the pizza delivery. They sat very close together while eating, and then even closer still while watching movies in silence. Seifer's hand had worked under the silken robe, and came to rest on Squall's naked thigh, and Squall's hand was flat against Seifer's stomach, their lips occasionally seeking out each other's, or trailing over one another's throat, cheek or temple.

Partway through the second movie, both of them could hear a shrill noise distantly. "What is that?" He asked, knowing it wasn't in the movie since he'd seen it several times.

"Oh... my phone. Let it ring."

"I think they're not going to hang up," Seifer murmured into Squall's hair when the phone was still ringing after three minutes.

Squall grumbled in annoyance, trudging to the bedroom to find his phone amongst his long-discarded clothing. Expecting to see that it was Rinoa calling, he was only a little surprised to see it was Quistis. "It's Quisty," Squall remarked, coming back into the living room. "Should I answer it?" He stopped and stood in front of Seifer, the phone still ringing.

"Yeah, you better. Quisty's stubborn enough to let it ring for days."

"Hello, Instructor," Squall greeted, which caused Seifer to chuckle as he leaned into Squall's body, loosing the knot of the robe's sash.

"Do I even need to ask where you are?" Quistis asked dully. She was in her office in Garden, packing up some of her belongings, a thick bandage taped to the side of her neck.

"If you don't need to ask, why are you calling?" Squall wondered as the robe was opened, and Seifer's hands stroked the now exposed line of naked flesh down the center of his body, paying particular attention to Squall's genitals. He lowered his body into Seifer's lap, smiling when the other man's lips started kissing his chest. "Did you hear about Evan Phaighn?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah... Xu told me. Can't say I'm sorry," she muttered.

"If there isn't anything important" Squall trailed off, free hand running through Seifer's closely cropped hair as his mouth moved lower and lower.

"There was an accident," Quistis said bluntly.

"What...? Are you okay?"

Seifer looked up at the worry in Squall's voice. The scar he'd given Squall crinkled as he frowned, listening to what Quistis was telling him. "Is everyone okay?"

"Yes," Quistis answered. "Well, sort of. Angelo's dead. Rinoa's pretty broken up about it. She keeps asking for you."

"Is she hurt?"

"Not physically, we don't think. We'll know more when Edea gets here."

"I... I'll be on the next train." He closed his phone and stood up, biting his lip in thought.

"What happened?" Seifer asked seriously.

"Rinoa had a magic accident. She's in the infirmary."

"Is she okay?" Seifer asked, concerned. Just because Seifer had been fucking her somewhat ex-boyfriend all weekend didn't mean he wasn't worried about her.

"They'll know more when Matron gets there. Angelo died in it, so..."

"Oh, no." Seifer wasn't a big fan of dogs, and as his memory came back, he realized it was because he'd been attacked by one as a child. But, as far as dogs went, Angelo was a pretty awesome one.

"Quistis sounded... off. She wasn't telling me everything. I have to go back." Squall slowly pulled away from Seifer, and went to fetch his clothes.

"Well, yeah..."

Squall quickly got dressed, Seifer watching him with regret the entire time. He knew Squall had to go back, but the selfish part of him didn't want Squall to go anywhere.

As Squall was knotting his tie, he caught Seifer looking at him, and correctly read the expression on his exceedingly handsome face. "I'm not going away forever," Squall murmured.

"Don't try to comfort me," Seifer answered flippantly. "You and comfort are kinda a bad match."

"I'll be back soon." Squall smoothed his tie and put back on his jacket, though looking into Seifer's eyes, he just wanted to stay and rip all his clothes off all over again. "Maybe next time I'll plan ahead and have more than one outfit."

"Tell Rinoa I'm sorry about Angelo," Seifer murmured. "And, well... about everything, I guess." If Squall was going to go back to Balamb, that would mean he'd tell her the full truth, including what he'd been doing for the past two days.

"I will." Squall kissed the other man firmly. "I'll call you as soon as I know more. I promise." He lingered in the doorway for a few moments more, hands and lips mingling with Seifer's for as long as they could. "Bye," he whispered when he was finally able to tell his body to disentangle, Seifer watching him leave with very mixed emotions.

---

"You have everything?" Xu asked, looking at the small pile of Quistis's bags sitting beside her.

"Yeah. If I forgot anything, you can just send it." She, Xu and Nida were standing in the parking garage, waiting for Squall to arrive. He'd called Quistis earlier when he'd arrived in Balamb Town. Irvine was standing off near a car, having a quick cigarette. He would be Quistis's chauffeur to the train station.

Nida opened his mouth to say something, but just closed it again. Xu was purposely standing between him and the blonde woman, so he wouldn't be able to have a deeper goodbye with her. "It wasn't your fault," Xu insisted quietly, bumping her shoulder to her friend's.

"I don't know if I believe that," she muttered, so quiet that Xu barely heard it.

"I'm sure Rinoa will be asking for you to come back after a few days."

Quistis looked over at her friend, and smiled sadly.

"I'll miss you, girl." Xu collected her in a tight hug, internally gleeful that Quistis would be leaving, and going far away from the Headmaster's position, at least for a little while. Enough time that Xu could secure herself as the future leader of Garden, and as the only woman in Nida's heart. But, seeing the way he was looking at Quistis, that was going to take quite a bit of time.

"Me, too." Quistis felt an overwhelming affection for Xu. "A lot, actually. And, you and Zell make a really good couple. Don't let him get away, okay?"

"Yes, ma'am." Xu gave a SeeD salute. "So... does this mean I'm the CC King now?" She winked.

"You can hold my crown until I get back." Quistis smiled genuinely, for the first time in a while. "But, don't get too attached to it. Maternity leaves don't last forever."

"Quistis, I..." Nida stepped forward like he was going to hug her, but she took a step back and stuck her hand out.

"I'll see you when I get back, Nida."

He looked sadly at the gloved, extended hand, but didn't take it. They all looked up when they heard the sound of a car, signalling Squall's arrival.

"Quisty, is she okay?" Squall asked, coming straight to her.

"She's resting now. I think once Matron's here, they're going to call in a specialist from Esthar."

"It's that serious..." Squall cocked his head, looking at her neck. "You're hurt."

"I'll live. She's been asking for you."

Squall then noticed her bags. "You going somewhere? Do we have a mission?"

"No, Squall. _We_ don't have anything," she murmured. "I'm going to Galbadia Garden for a while, to teach."

"What...?" He asked, lost in confusion. "Teach?"

"One of their instructors is going off on maternity leave. There have been a lot of instructor retirements, so they really need people."

"But, you're not a teacher anymore..." Squall felt like the floor was giving out from under him. First Rinoa had some sort of near-fatal accident, and now Quisty was leaving him? The latter seemed the much scarier to him.

"I may have been fired from Balamb Garden," Quistis answered bitterly, trying not to collapse at the growing fear in Squall's eyes. She really didn't want to leave him "But, my instructor's licence is technically still valid."

"And, you weren't going to tell me?" Squall asked incredulously.

"I'm telling you now," Quistis said, maybe more coldly than she should have. After all, maybe if Squall had told Rinoa the truth from the start, she wouldn't feel the need to leave.

"No!" Squall exclaimed with steely anger. "I won't let you."

"You don't have a say." She picked up a suitcase and started going to the car where Irvine was waiting. Nida only helplessly watched her, while Xu tried not to look ecstatic.

"Don't leave me!" He whispered, filled with terror and deep emotional hurt.

"I have to," she whispered back, turning to face him. Her voice cracked as she looked into his blue eyes. "It's not like I'm going to be gone forever, Squall. Just... for a little while."

"But, I need you." What would he do without Quistis? She was the constant in his life with all his turmoil about everything else. She was always there, his best friend.

"You've always been able to take care of yourself," she pointed out, reaching up and touching his cheek.

"No, I haven't," he admitted.

"You need to make a decision about your life. You can't go on like this, Squall. Please... go to rehab, okay? I'll call, or email or whatever."

"Quisty..."

She reached out and collected Squall in a hug. "I'll miss you." She broke the embrace, and had to look away. She couldn't look into his face, because it would break her resolve. She needed Squall's friendship as much as he needed hers, and right now this was the hardest thing she'd ever done - leaving her home, leaving her life. "Okay," she told Irvine. "I'm ready."

Squall turned away and made a lonely walk to the infirmary, chest aching. All the way here from Dollet, he'd wondered if Rinoa could be more serious than Quistis let on. What if she was dying? What if she couldn't control her magic, and this kind of thing happened again? What if this was all his fault for fighting with her? How could he tell her about him and Seifer now? Would she lose control again? He asked himself these questions over and over again, right up until he was laying eyes on her. She was very pale and clammy looking, though awake and sitting up in bed, propped up by some pillows. Zell was standing at the foot of the bed. When she saw Squall, her face broke out into a tired smile.

"Are you okay?" He asked seriously, sitting in the chair beside her elbow.

"Not really," she answered feebly, reaching out for Squall's hand. He slowly reciprocated the touch, feeling the thrum of energy in her fingers. "How did you hear?" She croaked. "Did Edea get hold of you?"

"Quistis told me."

"She said she didn't..." Rinoa trailed off, coughing. "She said she didn't know where you were," she finished when she could talk again.

"She didn't," Squall lied. "But, she knew I'd be worried, and she was worried, too."

"I haven't seen her at all," Zell murmured, looking over when he saw Xu come in. He gestured for her to come over to him, and put an arm around her shoulder. "Where is she?"

"Gone," Squall answered, heartbroken.

"Gone?" Rinoa echoed, her heart lurching. She knew Quistis had been hurt in the accident, but she'd seemed okay What if...?

"She's going to Galbadia Garden for a while," Xu replied, putting an arm around Zell's waist. "For a change of scenery. She kinda feels... responsible."

"Maybe she should," Rinoa answered with uncharacteristic bitterness. "She's..."

"Shut up!" Squall shouted, loud enough that his voice echoed. "Quistis has only ever been worried about you!" He exclaimed, voice slurring a little because he'd had quite a few drinks in the train's club car. "You're supposed to be her friend!"

"Squall, please...!" Rinoa cried meekly, balling her fists. Magic scorched the sheets.

"Rinoa, calm down!" Zell went over to her and put his strong hands on top of hers. "It's okay," he soothed. She started crying.

"Maybe we should leave," Xu offered, internally giddy at Squall's drunken outburst. When Zell joined her again, she murmured to him. "That was really sweet of you, thinking only of her."

He smiled at her compliment, taking her hand. "Uh, see ya, Squall." Zell nervously patted him on the shoulder before leaving. The smell of scotch was palpable.

"I'm sorry," Squall mumbled, slumping in the chair. "You're hurt... I shouldn't be getting mad at you."

"How... how long is Quistis going to be gone?" Rinoa asked. She couldn't get rid of the nagging feeling that Squall and Quistis had something going on behind her back, but there was also the part of her that loved Quistis like they were sisters, and hated this tension between them now, and hated herself even more for thinking badly of her. Selphie had so many other friends and was such a social butterfly, that it had often just been Rinoa and Quistis hanging out together, and they'd bonded fiercely.

"Dunno," Squall answered sadly. "She's covering maternity leave." He reached out and took her hands, which felt so cold. "I'm sorry. About Angelo."

Rinoa's coffee brown eyes filled with tears, and Squall brought her into a hug. She sobbed into his chest, clinging to the lapels of his suit jacket as she mourned Angelo. She'd had the dog since she'd been a puppy, for all her teenage years. The fact that Rinoa had caused her death was an impossible pill to swallow. Angelo had only ever given her unconditional love, and this is how Rinoa repaid it?

"It's okay," Squall whispered into her hair as her whole body shook with the greatness of her sobs. Eventually she cried herself right to sleep, with Squall glued to her bedside the entire time.

He felt incredibly guilty as he watched her rest, as he watched Edea and the magical specialist from Odine's labs in Esthar poke and prod her and give her all kinds of tests. He felt such stinging self-loathing as he watched her cry in fear, as he watched her desperately try to control more magical surges. This went on for days, Squall a constant sentry at her side, taking her hand when she'd desperately call out his name, light flowing into her skin at an accelerated pace. He'd hold her at night when she'd sob into the pillow, trying to hide that she was crying. And, he'd hate himself for thinking about Seifer while touching her. He'd promised the other man that he'd call him as soon as he could. He promised that he'd come right back. _Just like you promised you'd always be there for Rinoa. Just like you promised her that day in Matron's flower field, remember?_

On the sixth day since Squall came back from Balamb, he pulled out his phone. He'd been too busy with Rinoa to pay much attention to it, and expected it to be full of messages from Seifer, and maybe even some from Quistis. But, they hadn't called him. No calls from Seifer. No text messages from Quistis. There was only a couple of messages from Laguna and Ellone. He excused himself from the infirmary while Odine's scientist planned to run some more tests on Rinoa, and made his way back to the dorm, where he slowly dialled Seifer's number. He hung up a couple times before he finished, then flipped his phone back open again to start over.

When he finally pressed 'send', the phone rang for a painfully long time. Was Seifer there? He normally always had his cell phone on him. It kept ringing and ringing, and finally the line clicked, but there was only silence that stretched on and on and on.

"Seifer?" Squall asked quietly.

Seifer let the phone ring so many times because he knew what Squall was going to say. He was sitting on a stone bench under a big maple tree on the university grounds, the leaves turning fiery oranges and reds. He didn't know if he wanted to hear Squall's excuse, but the stupid part of him, the hopeful part, wanted to hear otherwise. To be told that Squall was coming back today.

"Rinoa's going to be okay," Squall answered. Normally, he was the master of the silent treatment, but he found it awkward now, and wanted to say something. Anything. "They should let her out of the infirmary today."

"Good," was the icy reply. "Rinoa is a very forgiving woman, no?" He asked, full of wintery accusation.

"I couldn't tell her."

"Uh huh."

"She'd just accidentally killed her dog! She could have died!"

"She's not made of glass. Rinoa's stronger than you give her credit for."

"Rinoa needs me right now," Squall said with painful finality.

"Then, I wish you two all the happiness in the world."

"Seifer..." The venom in the other man's voice was acute, even across an ocean.

"Don't call me anymore."

"Seifer, wait!" Squall exclaimed quietly. "I _will_ tell her. I--"

"Goodbye, Squall." The line clicked dead.

"I love you," Squall murmured, his words lost and unheard by the person they were meant for. He listened to the beeping dial tone for a while before closing his phone. He sat on the bed, looking out the window at the clear, blue Balamb sky. In Dollet, Seifer was also looking at the sky, which was a slate grey with the promise of cold rain. It matched his mood. He felt like his heart had been ripped out of his chest, and he hated himself for ever believing that there was more between him and Squall than just a fantasy. When the snow started coming down, he felt the cold flakes hit his face, but they were nothing compared to the coldness encroaching inside him.


	6. Chapter 6

****

Chapter 06

Sol scanned the crowd for his target, and his assassins. He could pick out Mars and Neptune quite easily, for he knew everything about them. And they, nothing about him. Not even that he was indeed male. They could look right at him, and not know that this was the person sending them on this current job. It was rare for him to use more than one assassin at a time, but this was a rather complicated task.

"Neptune, respond," Sol murmured into his cell phone, voice masked to the person on the other end. Lots of people were talking in radios and cell phones, so he went unnoticed. His assassins were wearing miniscule headsets.

"In position," her voice replied. She'd worn a black wig with thick, blunt bangs, and did her makeup so she was nigh unrecognizable, but he still knew who she was. Her black silk, halter-necked, long-sleeve gown with full, layered skirt and matching gloves, looked quite demure and proper from the front, but when she turned around, it was completely backless, daring to show a peek of ass crack. She was chatting with some party guest, making him laugh and blush.

"Mars, respond."

"In position," Mars's breathy voice replied. She was posing as a member of the serving crew, able to dart through the crowd, her eyes watching the room as she handed out champagne. She even walked close enough to Sol that he was able to pluck a glass from her tray. She even smiled at him, completely ignorant that she'd just looked at her boss.

This huge party was a charity event for one of Deling City's largest hospitals, where the Galbadian Finance Minister, Xander DeSota, would be giving a speech about increased funding for health care, and the hiring of more health care professionals. The contract to kill DeSota actually came to Sol's attention more than a month ago, but DeSota was paranoid and kept himself quite cloistered, making it difficult to plan his death. Not only had he hired SeeD as bodyguards, but Sol recognized various other mercenary outfits, as well as the presence of the Deling police and the Galbadian army. There were even a few Estharian soldiers for hire milling around and looking imposing. Nida Nomura was standing near DeSoto at all times.

"Status?" He asked of Neptune.

"Plainclothes near each exit. First SeeD right with DeSota, the second SeeD is at the bar."

"Noted," Sol murmured, knowing Neptune was talking about Irvine Kinneas. "On a signal from me, Mars will start creating a diversion to throw this place in chaos. Take the shot, and exit via the rooftops."

"Guarded," Neptune pointed out through her phone. "I checked earlier. Some army sword-sells."

"You let me worry about that," Sol answered cryptically. "Meanwhile, relax and have a drink." He snapped his phone shut, sipping the champagne. He trusted Neptune's skills to get the shot. She, along with Jupiter, were his favourites. But, Almasy's face was far too recognizable for this mission, and he'd also wanted some of his female assassins because their hair could mask their headsets.

Sol sipped his champagne and waited until DeSota was starting to climb the stairs towards the podium where he'd be giving his speech. He kissed his wife on the cheek, Nida shadowing him. Sol casually flipped his phone up again. "Go," he called to Mars. Weaving through the crowd, she was able to deftly start casting magic without anyone noticing. She was quite good with fiddly status spells, and started afflicting confuse on random people. Some of the guests first, then a couple of the Galbadian mercenaries. As people started to act strangely when the confuse magic took hold of them, Sol started sending a text message. When he hit send, there was a deep rumbling that went through the convention room, rattling the chandeliers and vibrating the ground like an earthquake. The confused guests started attacking one another, or shrieking in mania, one of the mercenaries firing his weapon in the air, then towards the now panicking crowd.

Amongst the shouting and screaming and yelling, the fire alarms started to wail from the explosion on the boiler room below. The smoke and the confusion gave Neptune a perfect chance to pull a pistol from under her voluminous skirts, and take the shot at DeSoto and the members of his staff. Mars was taking care of the mercenaries she'd confused, putting them to sleep, or outright killing a few of them with a concealed stiletto. Even through all the chaos though, Nida saw where the shot came from. Sol had given instructions to his assassins not to harm the SeeD, since they were so high-profile and because they were looking for any evidence of the Solar System, and ways to bring them to light.

Neptune dropped the gun on the posh carpet and made a quick dash for the door leading to the stairwell. The quick burst of bullets exploded from Nida's sub-machine gun after her. Neptune felt the hot sear of lead pierce her shoulder as she ducked behind a party guest. Blood made her black dress heavy and wet as she fired back before throwing herself into the stairwell. Gripping her shoulder, she ran up the stairs towards the roof.

"Get her!" Nida shouted to one of the Galbadian army men, pointing at Mars. "She's in on it!"

Mars's eyes grew wide, and she threw her champagne tray at the officer. Glass and alcohol flew through the air as she made a dash, flinging magic behind her. Sol could only stand back and watch as a second army private tackled her. After all, he couldn't blow his cover. Nida started to run after Neptune as Mars struggled under the heavy bulk of the man on top of her. Sol picked his way through the crowd and confusion as a sleep spell was put over Mars.

He could hear the muted splatter of gunfire as he made his way into the stairwell, lit red by the emergency lights. The alarm was still wailing, and as he made his way to the roof, gun now out, he could hear sirens coming from the streets below. As he climbed, he passed the ripped remains of Neptune's skirts. She must have torn it so she could make an easier escape. Sol hovered in the stairwell's door so he wouldn't give himself away to either SeeD or assassin, and to keep himself dry because it was pouring cold October rain. From his vantage point, he could see Nida perched behind a chimney stack, sharing shots with Neptune, who must have been hiding near the lip of the roof. As Nida had to stop to change magazines, Sol saw the silhouette of Neptune dash towards the edge of the roof and leap towards the building next door. Nida quickly snapped the magazine into place and fired. Neptune's lack of grace in her landing on the lower roof next door signified that one of Nida's bullets found its mark.

Nida started to chase after her, and skidded to a stop on the slippery ground near the edge of the roof. He had to throw himself to the ground as Neptune fired at him, then jumped over to another rooftop, and disappeared down a fire escape. Nida ran as fast as he could at the roof's edge, and threw himself off, making a loud splash as he landed in a puddle on the adjacent roof. Sol turned and went back into the party before he could be seen, melding back into his other life seamlessly.

Nida stumbled on the slippery roof, looking into the alleyway below where the assassin had vanished. He could see nothing but the heavy stream of water from the eaves, and the dimness of dumpsters and garbage below. He jumped across to the fire escape, trying to see if there was any blood trail to follow, but the rain was making that impossible. He slid down the rusty ladder into the alley, kicking over boxes and peering into the dumpster, but nothing. She was gone.

"Fuck!" Nida cursed under his breath. He'd had her! Now it would be impossible to find the killer. She would have melted into the Deling City crowd. Nida pulled out his phone as he made his way back to the gala centre. It only rang once before Xu picked up. "Xu? DeSota's dead."

It was the middle of the night in Balamb, but Xu was wide awake. She'd been waiting to hear from Irvine and Nida, and the sound of his voice thrilled her so much that it caused her nipples to harden against the silk of her nightie. "Dead?" She echoed, some of her euphoria at listening to Nida say her name while she was laying in bed.

"Assassinated." Nida was stopped at the front doors by the fire department, who were dealing with the blaze in the boiler room. Everyone had been ushered outside, most being taken to local hospitals by ambulance. Irvine was standing next to the unconscious waitress, water dripping from the brim of his cowboy hat.

"The Solar System?" Xu asked, sitting upright. The sheets pooled around her, and her excitement rose again.

"Looks like it. We got a woman in custody, I think she was in on the hit. What do you want us to do? Bring her to Galbadia Garden?"

"No, bring her here. I'd very much like to question her." She could hear tenseness in Nida's voice. "Are you okay?" She asked quietly. "You sound like you're in pain."

"It's nothing. Just a flesh wound. We'll debrief with local authorities here, then come back to Balamb."

"Roger. Good job," she praised.

"Hardly," Nida muttered. "Our client's dead."

"We might have opened up something much bigger now, though..." Xu smiled into the phone. "I'll see you soon," she cooed.

"Bye," Nida said uncomfortably, flipping his phone shut. The fact that Xu still wouldn't take the hint about his feelings for her disturbed him.

"You should really get a doctor to look at that," Irvine murmured, gently gripping Nida's arm so he could look at the injury.

"I'm fine. Ow!" He snapped as Irvine prodded the flesh with a finger. "Well, it would be fine if you'd stop doing that!"

"Sorry, man. So, what'd the boss lady say?" He tipped his hat up and looked over to their sleeping prisoner.

"Bring her back to Balamb for questioning. Xu agrees with me that she's probably a member of the Solar System, same as the one that got away."

"All righty." Irvine started pulling the woman along to their vehicle. "But, hospital first so you can get stitched up."

"Nah. I'll just cast some cure on it," Nida muttered. "We need to get her back. You wanna debrief with the police chief, or should I?"

"I'll do it. Just go relax in the car, and make sure Sleeping Beauty doesn't wake up."

"Yeah, maybe it isn't a good idea for you to be alone with a helpless female suspect."

Irvine winked and left his partner to find someone in charge.

Half a dozen blocks away from the convention center, Neptune stirred in a dingy alleyway that reeked of garbage and old urine, the rain only intensifying the odour. She had the sense that she'd blacked out momentarily. She could hear a high-pitched drone, like a beehive had suddenly taken up camp in her head. But... it sounded like words. Neptune groaned and touched the side of her head, feeling the beginnings of a mighty bump. Her wig and headset were askew, and she could feel blood drenching her clothes along with the cold autumn rains.

She narrowed her eyes when she thought she could hear someone talking to her again.

"Neptune, respond."

She groaned, and rolled over so she could retch. Mostly blood came up with the vomit.

"Neptune, respond."

She opened her mouth to reply, but she must have blacked out again, because when she came to, there was silence from her earpiece, and the rain had intensified. She started coughing up the water that had gotten into her lungs from breathing in rainwater. She tore off the wig and tossed it into a pile of long-forgotten garbage beside her, her pale hair streaked with blood. She then pulled off her gloves, and started ripping the satin into strips for temporary bandages. Using the wall as support, she rose to her feet, vomiting again. She searched under her skirts for her phone, which was strapped to her thigh next to the empty gun holster. It took her a few muddled tries before she was successful in dialling.

"NEPTUNE..." She hissed, panting into the phone. In her befuddled state, she instinctively fell into her stilted speech pattern, born out of being raised by a lone, deaf mother. She'd never spoken properly to another person until she'd gone to school, and it had affected her ever since. "REPORTING." Her wet silver hair looked like liquid moonlight.

"Good work, Neptune," Sol replied. His mechanized voice made it impossible to tell his mood or emotion. "Get yourself to Ceres." He was referring to one of the Solar System's underground doctors - the kind of doctor who was on constant retainer for mob bosses, drug dealers, and assassin cells. "I'll contact you in due time."

Neptune dialled a second number, sliding down the wall as her legs started to give out. She contacted Ceres's office, and asked that an envoy come to collect her. As she waited, she collapsed back to the dirty cement, her tattered and ripped skirts spreading around her. Heavy and wet with water and blood. The makeup that had covered the scarring around her left eye was washed away, and her glass eye itched, and she could feel it so acutely. It was why she rarely wore it. The fake eye make a gross squelching sound as she popped it out and secured it in a small silk money pouch at her hip. Had Nida recognized her? Would Sol kill her if her cover was blown? How would Raijin and Seifer feel, reading about this in the paper?

Fujin shook the cobwebs out of her head, chiding herself angrily. "FOOL," she whispered to herself, watching the sidewalk for her ride. "WEAK." She wasn't a woman who let herself fall into self-depreciation, into depression. She didn't allow herself the weakness of those kinds of emotions. She couldn't. She wouldn't. A car pulled up on the sidewalk, and a figure in a black rain slicker got out, helping her to her feet without a word.

---

"SOFT," Fujin commented, running her free hand over a hank of cashmere yarn.

"Step away, or you'll be ensnared," Quistis joked. She was in a yarn shop in Dollet with Fujin, Seifer waiting outside, to avoid what he called 'yarn coma' - a phenomenon to describe his boredom with watching Quistis shop for knitting supplies. Quistis made the mistake of touching the impossibly soft yarn, and put it in her basket, along with the many other balls she was purchasing.

"STOP," Fujin sniped as she caught Quistis looking at her again. Her arm was in a sling from 'falling down the stairs'. She'd said she'd tripped over Raijin's gym bag, which everyone believed. Raijin wasn't all that tidy, and even in these few months that Quistis had been spending more time with the old posse, she'd tripped a few times over things like his backpack and his shoes.

"I'm sorry! I guess I can't help being all big-sisterly." She pursed her lips and looked to the picture window. She could see Seifer standing against a lamppost outside, staring off into space. He was tan, even in November, from a very recent trip to the Kashkabald looking for snakes. But, despite the bronze of his skin tone, he looked drawn and pale.

"APPRECIATED," Fujin noted, rubbing a pumpkin orange silk blend against her cheek.

"He looks so sad," Quistis murmured.

Fujin looked to the window, her good eye narrowing. "DEPRESSED."

Quistis frowned as she watched her childhood friend beadily. Seifer had a newspaper in his hands, but he was hardly reading it. And, she knew what he was thinking about. Every time she even mentioned Squall, Seifer would shut right down, his response either one of great anger, or silence to mask his sorrow. Since coming to teach at Galbadia, she'd been spending most of her free weekends in Dollet, and she became more and more concerned about Seifer as time went on. In Balamb, she could take his carefree attitude at face-value, but here... she could plainly see it was a lie. Aside from Fujin and Raijin, he had nobody. People from school mostly shunned him as Ultimecia's lapdog. The outright hostility had died down, but this blatant, cold ignoring was much worse, in Quistis's estimation. Raijin was like Selphie in the regard that he could make friends wherever he went, and even cold Fujin made some new pals at Rulemakers, a triple triad club in town that had the reputation of being a bit... tyrannical and totalitarian about rules, and using as many as possible. But, not Seifer. His role as Ultimecia's Knight had taken its toll. He was painfully alone, and it was obvious that his heart was broken. Quistis loved Squall dearly, but she just wanted to punch him right in the face for his handling of this situation.

"Okay, I think this should be enough until next time," she murmured, looking at her overflowing basket of yarn.

"OUTSIDE," Fujin said, nodding her head towards the door. She went out and waited for Quistis to pay, putting her good hand on Seifer's arm. He jerked, Fujin's firm touch surprising him.

"Oh, hey... you finally done?" He snarked, watching a motorcycle drive by.

"PAPER?" Fujin asked, wanting to say so much more. It pained her to see Seifer so miserable. She took the paper that he wasn't reading for his hands, and stopped dead when she read a secondary headline on the front page. 'Solar System Assassin Dies In Custody'. Her eye scanned the article. She'd known about the capture Mars, though she hadn't known which one at the convention center the other assassin had been. The article was painfully short on facts, but Xu was quoted in it, saying she'd committed suicide by poison ingestion.

Seifer lazily looked down at his friend when there was nothing else to stare at on the street. He came back to reality when he noticed the look on her face. "What's wrong?"

"PAIN," she lied, rubbing her shoulder.

"You want to go home?"

She shook her head, handing the paper back to Seifer. He checked his watch and unfolded it. "You want a late lunch? I feel like something greasy and really bad... for... me..." He trailed off as he saw the same article that had slipped Fujin into stunned silence. Together, Jupiter and Neptune, stood in shock, neither knowing the other's secret.

"Okay, done!" Quistis exclaimed, holding up four bulging paper bags full of yarn. "Sorry I took so long. You should have come in, it's warmer in there."

Seifer just grunted and folded the paper under his arm. A coffee shop across the street had some music playing from a speaker within. He could hear the strains of a local band that he liked, but the song felt like a knife in his heart, because this CD had been played a few times in the background while he and Squall had been together. It broke his heart, and at the same time, made him angrier than he'd been in recent memory.

"I'll buy lunch," Quistis offered. "To make up for you having to wait on the sidewalk like a bored husband."

"Huh?" He asked distractedly, clenching his jaw to quell the emotion threatening to drown him. He was trying very hard not to think of touching Squall's bare skin, or how it felt to fall asleep beside him, their limbs braided together. The taste of his sweat and the sound of his laughter at the most intimate of moments. He hated himself for believing something could have come out of it, and for hoping that he could feel it again.

"Lunch?" Quistis asked. She could see a muscle in Seifer's jaw twitching. She sighed and leaned into him, resting her temple against his shoulder. He was stiff, but didn't reject the silent comfort. "Maybe we'll just eat in? I guess at least we can be unhappy together, and not infect the general population."

"UNHAPPY?"

Quistis just shrugged.

"I guess being driven out of your home will do that," Fujin replied quietly. It still stunned Quistis to hear her talk normally. Her voice was husky and musical. Most people at Garden thought of Fujin as a sycophantic weirdo or a rigid, icy bitch, but outside of a teacher/student setting, Quistis was beginning to learn that she was actually quite fun to hang around with. "Especially because of lies."

"And... I love teaching again, but Galbadia Garden isn't Balamb Garden. It's not... friendly. But... maybe they're the same now. Balamb Garden isn't exactly a friendly place anymore, at least not to me."

"It's kind of strange..." Seifer trailed off, now somewhat paying attention once they'd passed the café. "Normally, stupid nonsense rumours like those kind of fade away, but these ones aren't."

"Neither are the ones that I hired someone to kill Evan," Quistis muttered darkly. That was the newest one. She guessed that since she and Squall weren't being photographed together anymore, they needed something else to write about, and her and Seifer's joint plot to kill Evan seemed to be their current favourite. But, if Squall and Rinoa were caught being less than lovey-dovey in public, the old Squall and Quistis story came barrelling out again. "So... you think that someone's, what? Goading these stories?"

Seifer shrugged as they turned onto a different street, heading towards his apartment building.

"PARANOID."

"Wouldn't be the worst thing that anyone accused me of."

"STORY..." Fujin began tentatively. "ASSASSIN?"

"Oh, you mean the Solar System thing?" Quistis asked distractedly. They'd passed an antique shop, and she saw a nice armoire in the window that she totally didn't have room for, but wanted anyway.

Seifer's posture became a little stiffer as they paused at the window. Quistis saw the price tag and exclaimed "hell's bells! Keep walking."

"EXIST?" Fujin asked dubiously, trying to fish for information about the other assassin's death.

"I guess so," Quistis replied, her shopping bags swinging at her sides. "I only know what I heard from Irvine and Xu, but they were pretty certain she was a member, but never got to question her properly. She never admitted to anything. I don't even think she said one word. They found her dead in her cell. She probably had some kind of cyanide pill on her," the blonde guessed.

"She killed herself rather than give away a secret," Seifer murmured. Internally, he wasn't quite so certain, and though neither knew it, Fujin was thinking the exact same thoughts. That maybe it hadn't been suicide at all. That Sol had somehow killed her so she wouldn't give up the Solar System under interrogation or torture. And, that meant that he infiltrated Garden somehow, or had gotten to her en route to Balamb. Could Sol be SeeD?

"I guess Xu's pretty upset about it. She really wants to find some proof about them."

"Then I guess her death did some good," Seifer murmured with an almost smile gracing his face. Like the sun trying to come out from behind grey clouds after weeks of cold rain.

"Seifer..." Quistis chided. "I don't understand what you and Xu have against each other. I think you two would get along really well if you just put this foolishness behind you!" She exclaimed as they turned onto Seifer's street.

"She's a bitch."

"She is not," Quistis protested. "She's been really awesome through this whole mess, and she's one of my best friends!"

"Hey, Seifer," a man greeted. He bent over and picked up a black cat. "He got out again. No matter what I do, he finds a way to escape." The cat didn't seem to want to get caught, and was struggling and making all kinds of angry cat noises. The man whispered in its ear, and it settled down almost immediately.

"Hi." Seifer went over and pet the animal in the man's arms. "Quisty, you remember Ivan?"

"Nice to see you again," he greeted jovially.

"You too." She smiled, having seen Ivan a few times in passing in the building. He was as tall as Seifer, and very fit. He was also particularly handsome with exotic olive skin and the most intense, dark eyes she'd ever seen that seemed to exude knowledge well beyond his years. He seemed to be the only person, other than Raijin and Fujin, that Seifer was on good terms with. He was also at the University, though he was enrolled in Hasberry College, the arts section of the school, majoring in dance.

"What are the plans for today?"

"Nothin'," Seifer grumped. "Ordering take-out, I guess."

"That's too bad. Maybe something interesting will come up?" Ivan flirted, his black eyes glittering.

"Maybe," Seifer muttered evasively. Quistis and Fujin shared a look of amusement.

"Nice seeing you, Quistis. Fujin."

The silver-haired woman waved and went up towards the building ahead of the two blondes. Quistis studied Seifer's face, which was deep in thought. He fished around in his pocked for his keys, then stopped. "Here." He pushed them into Quistis's palm as he turned back. "Hey, Ivan..."

Quistis started walking as Seifer went back, but she kept looking over her shoulder in curiosity. She couldn't hear what they were saying, but by the way a lovely smile lit up Ivan's angular face, Seifer had just asked him on a date.

"He's a nice guy, right?" Quistis asked of Fujin as she tried to juggle her shopping bags and the keys. Fujin just efficiently snatched the keys away and slid them in the lock.

"IVAN?"

"Yeah."

Fujin nodded. "He doesn't seem to care that Seifer was Ultimecia's Knight, which is a nice change from most people, and a big plus in my book. I've never asked him, but I have the feeling he's been at Garden, or in the military."

"How come?"

"FEELING. AURA. Like he knows magic, or maybe junctions GF. But, that's a hard question to deftly put into a conversation."

"I think Seifer asked him out."

"GOOD."

"Yeah, but..."

"NO," Fujin protested emphatically, taking off her jacket once inside. It took some effort, and then some help on Quistis's part because of the sling. "He should be happy, instead of pining for someone who used him."

"Squall didn't use him. It's... complicated."

Fujin waved her good hand angrily. "NEVERMIND."

Quistis sighed and lowered herself onto the threadbare sofa. She talked to Squall on the phone all the time, something she was certain he kept secret from Rinoa. Squall and Rinoa's relationship did seem to be improving, at least from what he was _telling_ her. He would talk about how scared she was of herself, but that she was still trying. The pride in his voice came through clearly. But, what also came through clearly was the sadness she knew he was trying to hide when he would ask about Seifer. Squall tried to make it sound casual, like he was asking about an indifferent acquaintance, but the lie of that only made it more heartbreaking. But, mostly they would just _talk_. About everything and anything. She missed him. She missed her old life, before everything had gone horribly wrong.

"QUISTIS?" Fujin asked, sitting down on the couch. "Are you okay?" She asked more gently, putting a hand on the other woman's shoulder.

"Huh?" She snapped out of her reverie. "Yeah, fine."

"When people are fine, they usually aren't crying."

Quistis reached up to touch her cheeks, surprised that they were wet. "Oh, goodness!" She exclaimed, taking off her glasses and wiping her eyes in embarrassment. "Look at me, falling apart like a fool."

Fujin didn't reply. If Quistis wanted to talk about it, she would. And, she didn't seem to want to. Besides, a ringing started emanating from her purse.

Quistis rifled for her phone, composing herself as she looked at the caller display. It was Ellone. "Hi, Elle," she greeted, trying to sound more cheerful than she felt. If Ellone got wind that she was upset, she'd worry and fret for hours.

"What's up?" Ellone asked, not sounding her usual, cheery self.

"I could ask the same" Quistis trailed off.

"Did you get the invitation?" Ellone asked, though Quistis was quite sure that wasn't why she called.

"I did. They're beautiful. Finally set a date, huh?" Ellone and Roberto's wedding was set for January 15th.

"Quisty, this is about Squall. Rinoa, Uncle Laguna and I are going to have an intervention for him."

"Is he getting worse?" She asked, immediately starting to tear up again. Fujin raised her head as the door opened and Seifer came in, wearing a very, very small smile.

"Yeah," Ellone murmured. "We... we just have to do something! I want you and Seifer to come to it."

"You know I will. When?"

"Tomorrow, if you can. Squall and Rinoa are here in Esthar now. Uncle Laguna said he'd send an airship for you."

"Oh, he doesn't have to do that."

"I think he just wants to pilot it."

Quistis couldn't help but smile. "Well, you know I will. I'm at Seifer's now, if you want to ask him."

Seifer's scarred brow creased as Quistis thrust her phone at him, mouthing 'Elle'.

"Hi, Elle. Yes, I got it. It's very nice," the ladies heard him reply, talking about the wedding invitation.

The smile that had tried so hard to come to his face faded away as he listened to Ellone's end of the conversation. "Oh... no, Elle. I can't." He paused as she tried to argue with him. "No, really. I... I just can't. I'm sorry. I'm too busy."

"This is really important," she urged.

"I know. I'm sorry."

Ellone sighed. "I guess I'll never be able to change your mind. You're too stubborn. You're as bad as Squall."

Seifer closed his eyes. "Tell him..." He trailed off. Tell Squall what, exactly? Tell him to leave Rinoa and come back here because Seifer missed him? Tell him Seifer loved him? "Tell him I hope he gets his life sorted out."

"That sounds so final..." Ellone murmured.

"I'll give the phone back to Quisty now."

"Seifer!" Ellone exclaimed.

"I'll see you later."

"Seifer!" She groaned, as irritated as ever-calm Ellone ever got.

"Tell Laguna that I'll just take the train."

"He'll be so disappointed. Can you try to convince Seifer to come?"

"Do you think I'd be successful?" She asked rhetorically, giving the tall blonde man a dirty look.

"Squall will really appreciate you being here."

"See you soon, Sis." Quistis flipped her phone shut and stared at Seifer hard.

"What?" He snapped, sitting on the couch's armrest, rifling through one of Quistis's shopping bags so he wouldn't have to look into her laser-like gaze.

"I think Ivan would understand if you told him why you had to cancel"

"It's not that," he said emphatically. He didn't deny that he'd asked the other man on a date. For that night, to be exact.

"Then, what? Look, Squall needs support!"

"I hope he does sober up."

"Seifer..."

"I can't!" He shouted, louder than he intended to. "I can't see him," he added more quietly.

"Oh, honey..." She put a hand on his leg.

"No!" He shouted furiously, anger paling his face.

"I understand." She patted his knee and rose to her feet. "I guess I better get going if I'm going to get the train."

"AIRSHIP?" Fujin asked.

"Oh, Laguna wanted to. But, I think I'd die of mortification to have him touch down in the middle of town," Quistis answered. She started to collect her belongings, which had already made their way all through Seifer's apartment, though she'd only been there a day.

"HELP?" Fujin offered, picking up Quistis's shopping bags.

"I see you offered to carry the light stuff." She turned to Seifer, and leaned over to kiss him on the cheek. He'd been a million miles away, so it startled him. She knew what he'd been thinking about. "You _are_ coming to the wedding though, right?"

"Yeah, yeah. Ellone would kill me if I didn't."

"_I'd_ kill you if you didn't."

"Just go. I wouldn't want President Loire to send the entire Esthar armada after you."

There were a million things she wanted to say, but she knew Seifer would hear none of them. "I'll call you when I come home, okay?" The word 'home' sounded so hollow on her tongue. Galbadia Garden wasn't really her home, but was Balamb really her home anymore? She moved to the door, and turned back to face Seifer. "Come. Please."

"No."

Quistis blinked at the venom in his tone. "All right," was all she could say. "I would say that I hope you won't hold this grudge forever, but knowing you, I bet you could." She turned to Fujin. "Okay, let's go."

---

Rinoa looked carefully at Squall's profile as they walked into the Presidential Palace towards the lifter docks. He must have sensed her scrutiny, because he would occasionally look at her. He would squeeze her hand, but fall into a remote silence, like he was somewhere else. She worried about how he would react to being ambushed with an intervention. Would he be furious? Would he even accept their help? Would they have to force him into rehab? All she knew was that they had to do something. The purple shadows under Squall's eyes were becoming deeper and darker, and his lithe frame was becoming waifish, bony. The days where his wintery eyes were bloodshot and he reeked of alcohol grew in number, and he would lash out at those around him at the drop of a hat.

Such an outburst had happened three days ago, where they'd started arguing over something really stupid. Rinoa had suggested taking a trip together, and while he'd seemed somewhat interested, whenever she brought it up, or made suggestions on locations, his booze-fuelled temper would flare, and the next thing she knew, they were fighting. He'd disappeared for hours, and come back rather apologetic, though very intoxicated. It was the last straw for her. Something had to be done. She had to find a way to bring the real Squall back from within this... impostor. Gods, he was even drunk right now. In the middle of the day! Rinoa thought it was a miracle that he was even walking.

Squall grunted when he felt sharp pain in his hand. He looked down, and saw that crackling magic was twining around his and Rinoa's joined digits, hot and thorny.

"Oh no!" Rinoa yanked her hand from Squall's, bringing it to her mouth in horror. Images of Angelo's death came to the surface of her mind. Thoughts of blood rapidly draining from Quistis's neck...

"It's okay." Squall took her hand again, and brought her close, kissing the top of her head, tasting the magic still thrumming under the surface.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay," he repeated.

Her heart swelled at his affection, but she wondered how long it would last once they pretty much ganged up on him. She also worried about seeing Quistis again. Ellone had wanted her there for Squall, but Rinoa was internally hesitant. Things between her and Squall had mostly been going fine now that she was at Galbadia Garden. Would that change? How would they react to seeing each other? How would _Rinoa_ act? She'd never actually properly apologized for hurting Quistis, but then she also didn't want to. Quistis had hurt her by trying to steal Squall, and then completely denied it.

Squall grunted again, the magic singing him. "You okay?" He asked seriously, pulling off his glove after she'd broken contact, examining it to see if he'd been burned.

She nodded firmly, trying to be braver than she actually felt. She took his hand again, looking at his profile. "I love you," she whispered suddenly. "You know that, right?" Her feeling of dread increased, though she knew she was doing the right thing.

His eyebrows came together. "Yes..." He trailed off with growing suspicion.

They were having the intervention in Laguna's private quarters. Rinoa's heart dropped into her dressy boots when she saw Quistis. If her heart could go even lower, it would have when Squall's face lit up like Rinoa hadn't seen it do in a long time. Or, had she _ever_ seen him smile like that? Like his body was too small to contain his joy. He strode across the room and grabbed Quistis into a firm, long hug. One that she eagerly reciprocated to Rinoa's chagrin. All the rumours she'd been trying to forget and ignore came to the forefront of her mind.

"What are you doing here?" Squall asked eagerly.

Though Quistis was very happy to see him, she could only regard him sadly. His skin looked pallid, his eyes ghoulish with the deep purple circles under them. And, even mouthwash couldn't mask the smell on his breath.

Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Rinoa hovering, shooting looks at them from under her lashes. The growing anger in Rinoa's gaze also made anger rise in Quistis. It was nice to know that her so-called friends still believed the worst about her.

"Squall!" Laguna boomed, catching his son in a bone-crushing hug as soon as he'd separated from Quistis. He didn't return the gesture of affection, and stood like an awkward statue in his father's arms. He was a pretty horrible liar, so his worry showed immediately in his eyes, as did the fact that this wasn't an innocent get-together.

"Laguna, what's going on?" Squall asked, eyes narrowing dangerously.

"You know, I really wish you would call me 'Dad' sometimes, Squall."

He was silent. Cold anger started to wash from him, and he looked to the faces of his friends with mounting displeasure. "What's going on?" He asked again when Laguna started shuffling nervously under such scrutiny.

"What do you mean, 'going on'? I don't need an occasion to see my own son. It's nothing strange really, to have all your friends come here for a nice visit. It's not like we pulled Quistis right out of class, and it's really not like I offered to fly an airship so she could get here as quickly as possible for today. But, not that today is anything really special, right?" He laughed to hide a wince when his old leg cramp started to act up.

"Oh, I see." Squall's voice became silky, which meant he was getting really mad. Though he was pretty fucking drunk, he was no dummy, and he knew what this was. He whirled around to look at Rinoa, shaking his head at her in disgust. "So, Squall's so weak that he can't help himself?"

"We're worried about you!" Selphie exclaimed, going to Rinoa's side in a show of solidarity. Rinoa couldn't look up from the carpet. She couldn't look up and let herself lose control of her magic in the face of Squall's anger. In this tiny room? What if she killed someone?

"There are some world-class facilities here in Esthar," Laguna offered. "We just... we want the old Squall back."

"Ganging up on me? Throwing accusations at me? That's supposed to work?" Squall asked, questions directed at Rinoa alone. "Trying to change me?" He slurred.

"It wasn't Rinoa's idea!" Ellone protested. "It was my idea. Be mad at me!" She stood right in front of Squall, searching his blue eyes with her brown ones.

"You're a drunk," Irvine blurted out.

"Dude!" Zell exclaimed. "Not cool."

"It's true," he said tonelessly. "You're an addict, Squall. You're going to drink yourself into ruin. You're going to piss away your entire life, and push away everyone that you love, and that loves you. You're trying to escape, I get it. But, soon you won't be able to come back."

Squall couldn't help but think about Seifer at Irvine's cold statement. "And, I wonder what I have to escape from," he hissed meanly. "Maybe from all of you." He started to storm past Ellone, and jerkily shook her off when she tried to grab his arm. "Why don't you all just fuck off?" He muttered.

"Squall!" Laguna called after him, tears welling in his eyes.

"I'll go talk to him," Quistis whispered, squeezing Laguna's shoulder.

Rinoa opened her mouth to protest, but stopped herself. This wasn't about her, or about Quistis. "You're just letting her go?" Selphie asked quietly in her ear.

"Yes." So much conflict in that simple reply.

"Squall!" Quistis shouted as she jogged to catch up with him. Esthar twinkled around them through the glass pedway.

"Get out of my face, Quisty."

"No!" She shouted, stepping closer to him until she was invading his personal space.

He stepped back and started walking away from her, but Quistis matched his fast pace, and grabbed him in a very strong grip. She deftly twisted his arm, sending red hot pain shooting up through his elbow and shoulder.

"Now, sit down." Her voice was iron as she pushed him down onto a platform that led to one of the Palace's many lifters.

He tried to jerk his arm away, but it hurt pretty badly. He stumbled over his own feet, his usual proud grace completely drowned in alcohol.

"Is this the only reason you came?" Squall asked, reaching into his leather jacket, pulling out a silver flask. His words were mush-mouthed together as he took a long swig. "For some stupid intervention that I don't need?"

Quistis forcibly pulled the flask from his grip. "Irvine's right. You are a drunk. I hate seeing you like this."

Squall remained silent, hunching forward.

"You can't blame Elle and Rinoa for wanting to help you. They love you, just like I do."

"You're actually defending Rinoa?" Squall asked, bitterness festering. "She drove you away!" He exclaimed. Quistis was one of the things he and Rinoa constantly argued about. "She took you away from me!"

"I drove myself away!" Quistis snapped, voice trembling. "I should have stayed in Balamb. I shouldn't have let stupid rumours dictate my life. I should have made you tell her the real truth."

Squall looked at her from under the curtain of his bangs. "Did...?" He bit his lip. "Did Ellone ask Seifer to come here?"

After a beat, Quistis gave one, slow nod.

"He refused, didn't he?"

She nodded again, reaching up to tuck a lock of hair behind her ear that'd come loose from her bun.

Squall looked away, wanting to hide the sudden panic in his eyes, the painful plummet of his stomach. "Did he... say anything?" He asked the wall.

Quistis pushed up her glasses, replying slowly. "He hopes you get your life sorted out."

"Wow," was Squall's answer. On the surface, it seemed like a sympathetic kind of thing to say, but Squall felt the poison underneath, even coming from Quistis's serene, even voice. He could feel, even in hearsay, that the deep, complex connection between he and Seifer had perhaps been irrevocably damaged.

"He's just... angry," Quistis whispered, sliding closer to Squall so she could wrap her arm around his shoulder. It was a testament to the firm closeness he felt with her that he didn't pull away. "And, you know what Seifer's like when he's angry." She thought it would be a bad idea to mention anything about Ivan. "He can be a real fucking asshole." She would hope he cracked a smile, but he didn't.

"Rinoa needed me..."

She grunted angrily. "Someone's always going to need you, Squall. Ruining yourself isn't going to change that. Escapism won't make it go away."

"I'm fine," he hissed.

"A drunk _and_ a liar."

"I don't have a problem!" He shouted, jumping to his feet so he could leave this conversation behind.

"Yes, you do!" She shouted back, also rising to her feet and staying in his personal space. "And, _this_ is the problem! _You_ are the problem!" She grabbed his shoulders and shook him roughly. "You aren't escaping from everyone else. You're escaping from yourself!"

Squall scoffed.

"It's true!" She pressed with the utmost urgency. She spun him around when he tried to turn away from her. "You've always been escaping from yourself! You're so terrified of living your own life that you'd rather fuck it all away! You'd rather live in this vortex, lost between your feelings for two people, than accept which YOU want more! You can't even accept that you're addicted." Quistis was standing chest-to-chest with him. She could tell that she was upsetting him, but he needed this. He needed someone to get in his face and call him out on his bullshit. Even when fighting Ultimecia, and when his feelings for Rinoa were growing, he'd needed someone to push him into what he knew was right, but wouldn't act upon. "You're being a coward."

"I can control it..." Squall muttered, trying to look anywhere but her angry sapphire eyes.

"You can't," she whispered back.

He finally met her gaze, and looked into her face for a long time. She stared right back, never wavering. The look stretched for long, silent minutes. "I... I am a coward."

"You're one of the strongest people I know," Quistis murmured, taking his hands and holding them tightly. "I don't know why you can't see it. Why won't you believe it about yourself?"

He could see her disappointment, but it was far outweighed by her unconditional friendship and love. He slumped into her, unable to hold himself up under the weight of life. It was something that everyone else seemed to be able to do quite easily, so why couldn't he? He felt Quistis's arms wrap around him, and he rested his chin on her shoulder.

Laguna crept out into the hallway. Kiros had been holding him back, wanting to let Quistis handle things, but being Laguna, he was unable to just sit back and not know how it was going. He'd heard the muffled sounds of their shouting, and then silence that was driving his curiosity nuts. He saw Quistis and Squall hugging, how his son was slumped over, his body language full of defeat.

"Uh... hi. You okay?" Laguna asked, fiddling with his dog tags.

Squall stood up and looked at Laguna in his completely blank way.

"I'm sorry I ambushed you," he started apologizing profusely. "It kinda sounded like a good idea at the time..."

"I'll go."

"You will?" Laguna's face brightened in a way that was irresistible. He reached out and clasped Squall's shoulders, but the contact was met with a stiff reply that made Laguna's smile wither around the edges. "I'm happy." Quistis tried to hide her frown. Often, rehab didn't work the first time, but how could she say that right now?

Squall just nodded, feeling the swell of failure. This was admitting defeat. He'd fucked up, and couldn't fix it himself. He could hear Laguna talking to him, and could smell Quistis's woodsy, subtle perfume, but they were fading away under his own internal self-criticism.

"Squall?"

Rinoa's voice cut through the muted noise like a bell, and he looked down into her eyes. She looked frightened of him and his reaction. She was worrying her hands and fiddling with her delicate filigreed necklace. The little pink glass beads shimmered as his eyes were drawn to them, and he realized it was because there were tears threatening to form in them. He blinked them away, the sad self-loathing, and watched as she approached him.

"Are... are you...?"

"I'll go," he answered, in the same impassive way he'd answered Laguna.

"Really?" Hope filled her deep brown eyes, and swelled her voice. She reached out and took his hand, squeezing it tightly enough that his leather gloves made noise. She slowly looked in Quistis's direction, and found the blonde was looking at her, too. Their eyes met, really met, for the first time in a while. Quistis was much better at hiding her emotions than Rinoa was, so it was hard for the brunette to tell what the other woman was thinking or feeling. She started to think she should thank Quistis for whatever she said, and even took in the breath to begin, but the other woman's cobalt eyes looked away, and didn't return to Rinoa at all.

Laguna started talking about getting Squall immediately into rehab, and how he could pull some strings and this and that. Squall looked to Quistis with a little panic, and her small smile made him feel more at ease. It said 'it will be okay'. It said 'you can do this'. It said 'I have faith in you'. I am your best friend. I love you, even if you fail. He hoped that she could see all that in his face, too. How much she meant to him. How he wished he had the ability to express those kinds of things to her. She put her hand on his shoulder, and the touch said that she knew.

---

In the dark of her office, the pale and blue light of Xu's laptop monitor reflected off the glass surfaces. The lenses of her eyeglasses, the shadowboxes filled with butterflies, the window that looked out towards the mountains. All her work was really turning out for nothing, and she felt trapped. Squall had gone through rehab in Esthar, and looked healthier than he had in months. Quistis was almost done teaching in Galbadia, and her reputation was starting to heal. They were taking vacation to go to Ellone's wedding, and then would be back at Garden. Though Cid hadn't mentioned anything, Xu was sure that he would announce appointing them to take over Garden at that point.

And, it made Xu sick. So ill that she'd been unable to eat anything all day. Squall and Quistis were so undeserving of the Headmaster's seat. Xu had given _everything_ to Garden! Giving control to a couple of figureheads was another in a string of massive blunders Cid made as far as controlling the school went. He was too blinded by his wife's preference to see how successful they'd been when Xu was picking up all his slack. Her anger made her mouth dry, and her throat felt parched with the fire of it. Now, she was sitting up in the middle of the night, trying desperately to find any angle she could use to finally destroy any chance for Squall and Quistis to take what was rightfully hers.

Suddenly, her back stiffened and straightened, and her eyebrows rose over the frames of her glasses. It was like a light bulb had gone off over her head. She started typing a message to Luchia and Astor, and started to pull up files, a smile spreading slowly over her heart-shaped face. It grew larger and larger as things began to form before her. There was a gentle knock on the door, and while she was disappointed that it wasn't her assistants, she didn't have to fake being happy to see Zell.

"S'up! I saw light coming from under your door," he murmured into the dark, closing the door behind him. "I can't believe you're still up working."

"Garden never stops running." She minimized what she was doing quickly, and slowly rose from her chair, taking off her glasses. "I think the bigger question is what are _you_ doing up?"

"Sometimes I get carried away when I work out," he answered, coming to stand very close to her when she leaned against her desk. "And, I was kinda thinkin'..."

"About?"

"Well... I know it's kinda short notice, but youwannagototheweddingwithme?" Zell asked in a big rush. He liked Xu quite a bit, but things between them had been stalled. He'd been away a lot on missions, and she'd seemed really distant and distracted lately.

Xu looked at him for a while. She'd been keeping herself distant from Zell because she still had great hopes for a future with Nida, but still wanted to keep the blonde at arm's length because he could come in handy. Now... now she would need him on her side. "You know..." She coyly leaned in and gently brushed his bare arm with her fingertips, in a way that caused gooseflesh to rise. "I was kind of worried that you weren't going to ask me."

"Oh, uh... maybe I thought you would say no?"

"I'm sorry that we haven't gotten to spend much time together lately," she apologized quietly, moving closer still. She stopped just before contact between their chests could be made. When she breathed, the fullest part of her breasts brushed against him. She knew he was noticing, from the look in his eyes. "I would love to go with you."

"Yeah?" He asked, pleased.

"Yeah." She stepped closer again, and put her hands on his thickly muscled shoulders. "You didn't work out too hard, did you?"

"Nah, I always have good stamina," Zell commented. He then realized what Xu was hinting at, and all he could say was "...oh." Which sounded really dumb and un-suave in his ears. "You want to?" He and Xu hadn't done much in terms of _that_, and had only had a couple of kisses. She just seemed too mature and professional for quickies all over Garden. "Now?" He kept trying to think of awesomely hot things to say, but was coming up blank.

"You have other plans?" She asked, leaning in for a kiss. She faked a moan of pleasure when he wrapped his arms around her tight. She wanted it to be Nida that she was kissing, Nida's arms that were holding her like this. As Zell's mouth trailed down her neck, and his fingers worked the buttons on her uniform's jacket, she mulled her plans over in her mind, gaining far more pleasure from them than she was from Zell's caresses.

---

Squall slowly let out his breath, leaning against the wall of the bathroom stall he was hiding in. He just needed some time alone. The wedding had been beautiful, Ellone and Roberto both radiant and beyond happy. But, he couldn't share such joy. He felt overwhelmed by everyone else's happiness, and his hands shook when he pulled a hidden flask from inside an inner jacket pocket. He took a long swig, definitely not his first since getting out of rehab. The warm whiskey worked through his body and calmed his shaking nerves. _Oh, now it's your turn! When are you and Rinoa getting hitched? Rinoa's going to be a beautiful bride! When are you going to pop the question, Squall?_ He could see those questions in people's eyes when they looked at him. That he was expected to marry Rinoa soon. That he was expected to be the dutiful Sorceress's Knight. He took another long drink, and quickly stowed the flask when he heard the bathroom door opening, and the voices of two party guests. He made the act convincing by flushing the toilet, using the noise of the water to mask the sound of him swishing mouthwash. Two men he didn't know were chatting at the urinals as he washed his hands, staring morosely at his own reflection. Did he really look that much like a trapped prisoner, or was it just his own mental projections?

He could hear a cheerful waltz playing as he made his way back to the banquet hall, walking slowly so he wouldn't give away that he wasn't exactly sober. Everyone would be so disappointed in him that rehab hadn't worked. He'd even been sneaking drinks with other alcoholics while _at_ rehab. He'd even once or twice snuck into janitor's closets for a bump of cocaine with some of the others.

"Hi, Irvine," he said with great measure to keep his voice even. Irvine was leaning against the wall, flirting madly with Fujin, who seemed immune to his charms. But, she wasn't beating the crap out of him, so it must not have been completely unwanted.

"Yeah, yeah" Irvine waved his hand. "Tell Xu I said hi, Zell..." He trailed off distractedly, his eyes only for the silver-haired woman.

When Squall entered the hall, and saw the couples dancing, he felt like he was going to collapse. His eyes met Quistis's across the room. She looked just as lonely and miserable as him, and he wanted to go over to her, but didn't when he met his girlfriend's eyes. Rinoa came over to him and took his hand. She gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Wanna dance?" She asked, but when their eyes met, she looked away. Her cheeks started to fill with hot colour.

"No," he muttered, looking at the couples. Quistis looked away, returning to her conversation with a woman Squall didn't know.

"You think we should talk?" She asked, trying to control her blushing.

"Not now," was his terse reply.

"Of course not," muttered Rinoa under her breath. Last night, Squall and Rinoa had tried to be a little daring sexually. Squall sometimes would ask her to try things, most often anal sex. She wasn't really that interested, but complied because she wanted to please him. Even though it wasn't her thing, she hated how Squall seemed so... afraid to ask her, like he didn't trust her to be open-minded. Last night, he'd wanted her to be more forceful with him. She wasn't really comfortable at first in the role of 'dominatrix-lite', but after a while she'd kind of gotten into it. However, she'd lost control of her magic briefly, and hurt him. She'd given him a deep magic bruise, and while she'd been horrified and filled with fear of herself, and thoughts of what happened last time she'd lost control, Squall had moaned like she'd never heard him moan. And, now... they couldn't even look into each other's eyes. Why wouldn't he just trust her? Trust _them_?

"Please?" She asked again. "Just one dance? We haven't danced together since we first met."

Squall looked over at her, and the memory gave him a small smile. "You looked really pretty. And, made a really awful attempt at trying to hypnotize me."

She laughed quietly, pulling him onto the dance floor, just like she'd done back then. "And, I told you that you were the best looking guy at the party."

"Except you only had eyes for Cid," Squall murmured. Rinoa actually did most of the leading, since Squall was a reluctant dancer at the best of times.

She chuckled and rested her chin on his shoulder, sighing. "I think you should get lessons from Ivan."

Squall stiffened, causing him to misstep and trod on Rinoa's foot. He hadn't spoken to Seifer or his new boyfriend yet, and really didn't want to even hear this guy's name mentioned. It had taken all of his restraint, and much of the alcohol hidden on his person, to not kill Ivan right there when he and Seifer had started talking to Laguna. It had actually been the first time that Seifer and Squall's father had actually 'met', and he'd had a sense that it should have been _him_ to introduce the two most prominent men in his life. It should have been _him_ and Seifer, not Seifer and some asshole.

"Ouch."

"Sorry."

"Lessons would be helpful... and keep me from getting my toes broken." Rinoa watched them dance from over Squall's shoulder. Ivan and Seifer were of equal height, and painfully elegant. She noticed she wasn't the only person who watched them. Couples nearby would cast appreciative looks at their dancing form.

"Sorry," Squall muttered again, getting sloppier in his distress. He jerkily spun Rinoa around so he could look at them. Seifer and Ivan didn't notice his icy glare, and were chatting about something. They did this waltz to textbook perfection and beyond. Ivan looked like dancing was easier for him than walking. When Ivan leaned into Seifer's body and they kissed, Squall's jaw clenched so tightly that it was a wonder all his teeth didn't shatter.

"Ow!" Rinoa whimpered. "My hand."

"Oh..." Squall loosened his grip. "Sorry."

Rinoa just shook her head. "I wish you would talk to me," she muttered as the song ended and the band announced they were going on break. They still stood on the dance floor, staring at each other with mounting tension. "Are you thinking about last night?"

He sighed. "You shouldn't have to do things you don't want to just to make me happy." The advice was so fucking hollow, because it was advice he really maybe should have been following himself.

"I was actually having fun... until then..."

"You were pretty hot," he admitted.

She couldn't help grinning, but became serious quickly. "I just... get afraid of myself sometimes. Especially considering whose powers are inside me..."

"You aren't her," Squall said firmly.

"I know... but, thanks." Rinoa squeezed Squall's hand. "It means a lot to hear that sometimes." She was distracted by movement in her peripheral vision, and waved at Seifer and Ivan, who were making their way towards the bar. "Hey, come here!" She exclaimed with a smile, beckoning them over. Seifer looked quite hesitant. "Oh, come on!" She moaned. "You have to introduce me properly!"

Seifer's face gave nothing away as he and Ivan came to stand in front of the person he'd been spending the entire day trying to avoid. "Rinoa, Squall, this is Ivan Blackmoon."

"Nice to meet you," Rinoa said genuinely. "I hear you're a dancer? It's not really hard to tell by watching you, though. You dance beautifully."

"Thank you," Ivan replied cheerfully. "Seifer speaks very highly of you."

"Does he now?" She nudged him with her elbow. She briefly got a strange feeling, like she'd brushed up against an electrical current. She felt it in her magic aura, but couldn't place what it was exactly. She wasn't as in tune with her Sorcery senses as Edea was. She looked into Ivan's eyes, and could have sworn that the feeling was coming from him, something more powerful than she'd ever felt in her entire life. But, then she thought she must have imagined it, because it was gone. "He must have taught you a few moves" She trailed off, finding herself.

"Are you saying I wasn't a good dancer before?" Seifer asked, faux-haughtily. "Though, I don't think people will talk about it as much as people do your famous waltz at the SeeD graduation ball," he murmured silkily.

"I've heard a lot about you," Ivan said to Squall. "Quistis and Irvine have a lot of high praise for you."

"You know Irvine?" Rinoa asked. Squall couldn't find his voice, and could only glare.

"He comes into Dollet once in a while to hang out with Seifer. I only really got to know him on Seifer's birthday."

"Did you get our gift?" Rinoa asked. "I'm sorry we couldn't make it."

"It's fine," Seifer answered. "I preferred things to be quiet. And, the coat was really nice."

"Squall picked it out," she answered. "You could probably tell, since it was leather and all."

"I could," Seifer answered. He didn't tell her that the coat was now buried in the back of his closet, probably never to be worn. How could he not know that this expensive, beautiful coat had been all Squall with Rinoa's name merely attached? How could he ever wear it and not think about what could have been between them? "So..." He trailed off, smiling. "When's the big day for you guys? Now that Ellone's hitched, you two will be the next to march down the aisle."

"I'm not holding my breath," joked Rinoa, though there was a bitter undercurrent of truth.

Squall bit the inside of his cheek. Seifer's tone was jovial, and his smile easy, but Squall knew the other man well enough to know he was purposely being mean. And, it was working. His eyes met Seifer's, and he couldn't look away, not even when Quistis made her way over.

"Hi, Ivan." She craned her face up and kissed his olive cheek. She didn't have to stand on her tiptoes because of her heels. "Hello, Rinoa."

"Hi..." Rinoa trailed off, looking at her shoes, which were the same as the other woman's.

"Oh, Quisty. We were just talking about Squall and Rinoa's impending wedding. I think you'd look really nice in full, antique Sorceress regalia."

"Oh, that stuff's way too fancy for me," Rinoa said, oblivious to the ugly aura of this conversation.

"It wouldn't really matter what you were wearing, I suppose. You could be wearing a sweat suit. It only matters that you're giving yourself completely to one person, telling the whole world that you're giving your soul to them, and you're going to do it for the rest of your life," he said quietly, eyes on Squall the entire time.

"What a beautiful way to put it." Rinoa squeezed Squall's hand again.

"Well, it's true. You and Squall and the perfect couple. A Sorceress and her Knight, who risked everything to save her. Despite his... Squall-ness, he proved that he loves you, Rinoa. That you're the only one in his heart." He stepped closer to Ivan and twined their fingers together. Squall's gaze slid down, remembering the warmth of Seifer's body under his own hands. "I'm sure there will be fairy tales written about the two of you. Maybe I'll find that." He looked at Ivan, who only briefly smiled. Squall noticed he actually looked somewhat troubled, and that Ivan was looking pointedly at him. "I don't want to be alone forever, y'know?"

"You think you two will get married?" Rinoa asked.

"God no," Ivan answered with laughter enriching his voice. "Right now, it's just casual. I don't think I'm ready for that, and Seifer's always away. I think he cares about the tonberrys more than he does about me."

"Not true," Seifer protested. He leaned in and kissed Ivan's temple. Squall's hand balled into a fist. "Well, maybe just a little. There was that one time I kinda did call you Sunny in bed," he added with laughter.

Squall sucked in his breath so sharply that it caused them all to briefly look at him.

"Did you know that Seifer discovered tonberrys have a spiritual side?" Quistis asked, voice cracking. She was desperately trying to change the subject, her heart going out to Squall.

"Oooh, really?" Rinoa asked. Seifer started talking to her about how he'd seen his favourite tonberry, Sunny, making an offering of roots and mushrooms in Odin's chamber, then drawing some kind of pictogram around the food with her own blood. "Makes me feel shitty that I'm the one that killed him. His state of death being debatable, though." He put his arm around Ivan's shoulder, who gave his partner a deep look. "I'm getting kinda hungry, so we're going to head to the buffet table." He gestured to the musician's podium. "The band's setting up again," he pointed out as he started to lead Ivan away from the dance floor. "Maybe you can make a request for Eyes On Me!" He called, waving at them.

"Wow. I'm kind of blindsided by your ability to be a complete prick," Ivan murmured out of the corner of his mouth as Seifer wove him through the couples moving back towards the dance floor. Seifer punched Zell hard in the shoulder as the shorter blonde passed by, hand in hand with Xu. They both glared at him, which made him smirk.

Seifer refused to answer. He'd told Ivan about Squall out of a desire for honesty, but talking about him wasn't something he really wanted to do. It still felt too raw. Ivan looked over his shoulder through the crowd. Seifer'd told Ivan that Squall hadn't loved him, and pretty much used him for sex, but the dark-haired man could plainly see that wasn't true, and he felt sorry for Squall.

"Oh, would you dance with me if I did request it?" Rinoa asked hopefully, rubbing her hand up and down Squall's arm.

He only stared ahead, feeling like his heart was laying at his feet, trampled upon.

"Squall?" Rinoa asked.

"Excuse me." He disentangled himself from his girlfriend, leaving her and Quistis standing there. Rinoa was full of confusion, and Quistis full of conflict. She completely understood how hurt Seifer was, but he'd been quite awful.

The two women shared an awkward look, both wearing the same dress but looking completely different in it. "That dress looks really nice on you," Quistis muttered. "Light blue always does." She turned to head back across the room.

"Oh, no... you're taller, so it glides like it should on you," Rinoa replied meekly, fiddling with the ends of her hair nervously. Her cocoa brown eyes kept flickering up to meet Quistis's gaze, too nervous to really look into her eyes. "It just makes my legs look like stumpy sausages."

"Nearly every man is looking at you now."

"Except for Squall," Rinoa muttered sadly. She had the suspicion that he was drinking again, but didn't know how to ask him such a question without it becoming some huge fight. She looked into Quistis's face, not actually accusing her of anything. But, Quistis must have took it as such, because her expression became closed and steely.

"Enjoy the party," Quistis muttered, gently pushing her way through the crowd, wanting to be away from Rinoa before any tears became visible.

"Quistis, wait! Please!" Rinoa called, but her voice was drowned out by the band's lively rendition of a foxtrot.

---

Seifer looked out to the futuristic urban landscape of Esthar, standing on a lonely balcony with a half-empty champagne flute dangling between his fingers. Even though the air was cool, it didn't really even feel like he was outside at all. He was starting to get used to being outside all the time, so it was rather uncomfortable. That, as far as his eye could see, it was all city.

"I'd forgotten how cruel you can be sometimes."

Seifer looked over his shoulder when he heard Squall's voice. It made him furious that all he could think about was how amazing he looked in his perfectly tailored suit, bathed in the blue evening lights of the city. He got some vindictive pleasure that Squall looked visibly upset, while at the same time feeling like a complete asshole. He turned back to face the cityscape. "Yeah, well...'whatever', as you would say."

"I was looking for you."

Silence.

"I tried calling you on your birthday," Squall said quietly, taking small steps forward, like he was approaching a wounded tiger.

"I know."

Squall took a few more steps forward, until he was leaning against the balcony's railing, just as the other man was, but still keeping his distance.

"You didn't leave a message."

"Would you have answered if I had?"

"No," Seifer sighed. "Probably not."

"I wanted to apologize."

The blonde grunted irritably.

"Will you let me?"

Seifer just kept staring out at Esthar. The stars couldn't be seen because of all the light pollution. Even the moon was barely visible.

"Seifer... I didn't mean to hurt you. Please, just..." He sighed and ran an impatient hand through his hair. "I'm trying to do the right thing."

"Okay, fine. I forgive you."

Squall frowned at the complete lack of sincerity in Seifer's voice. "You're lying."

"I am," was the now completely sincere answer. His eyes narrowed as he looked at Squall, who looked so vulnerable and out of his element that Seifer forgot his anger. "Are you really doing the right thing?"

"I'm trying."

"For who? For you? Or, for everyone else? If this is what you really wanted, why do you look so fucking miserable? Why didn't rehab work? Why are you drunk right now?"

"You can tell?"

Seifer shook his head. "Please." He turned away from the city, now completely looking at Squall. "What do you want?"

"I... justwannatalk..." Squall mumbled into his chest.

"No. What do you _want_, Squall?"

Squall looked up, and cocked his head.

"It's not a hard question."

He was silent for a long time. "Maybe it is."

"It isn't," Seifer snapped. "You just make it that way. You make your life hard, Squall."

"I like it when you say my name," he whispered.

Seifer grumbled angrily under his breath. "You must just like the way Rinoa says it more."

"You wouldn't be so angry if you didn't still care." Squall inched closer, until he was standing right next to Seifer. He searched the other man's face, hoping for eye contact.

"Of course I do!" Seifer hissed. He met Squall's perfectly blue eyes, and knew the other man could see exactly what he was feeling. And, he could see what Squall was feeling. It deeply angered him, but more because of the hope it gave him.

"What about Ivan?" Squall asked quietly, his hand sliding very slowly along the balcony's railing. He stopped short of touching Seifer's hand, but came as close as he dared.

"He's... he's wonderful."

Squall's heart plummeted.

"But, it's only casual. That's all he really wants, and he's been really up front about that, that he's not ready for a serious relationship. And, he knows that I'm..."

"You're what?" Squall's heart now refused to beat.

Seifer didn't answer, and turned his face away.

"You're what?" Squall demanded, reaching out to turn Seifer's face back to him. Seifer caught his wrist in a hard, strong grip. It hurt a little, but was far more thrilling than painful. "Not over me?" Squall asked, breath warm against Seifer's cheek.

"Does it matter what my answer is?"

Squall's chest hurt from the rapid changes in his heart rate. He leaned in, wanting to touch Seifer more than anything, but not wanting to push his luck by trying for a kiss. Instead, his cheek brushed against Seifer's, and he breathed in the smell of him, revelled in the feel of him. Seifer's hand constricted around his wrist, but Squall stepped closer still, until his body was flush with Seifer's. His hand was starting to go numb from the tightness of Seifer's grip, but he really didn't care about that as he craned his neck and stood on his toes so his forehead could touch Seifer's, scars a perfect mirror of each other. A metaphor for their entire beings.

Seifer was frozen solid in the face of Squall's nearness, and couldn't protest as Squall's breath warmed his lips. His heart was beating painfully fast, and he couldn't do anything as Squall kissed him gently. How could he pull away when this was all he wanted? Squall's arm was now around his waist, and the kiss was becoming firmer and more passionate. Squall could feel Seifer yielding, and when the other man's mouth opened against his own, he felt the same pleasured rush that he'd felt the last time they'd kissed. Before Squall had turned his back on it.

Seifer started to connect to his sense of pride, and pushed Squall away forcibly enough that their parting lips made a loud squelching sound. Because Squall had been standing on his toes and leaning his weight into Seifer's body, not to mention the fact that he was also drunk, he stumbled. If Seifer hadn't still been holding his wrist, he would have fallen. Squall stared up at him with drunken confusion, and the blonde hated how pathetic the normally proud man looked.

"Seifer..." Squall whispered, bringing forth memories of more intimate moments when Squall had whispered his name like that.

"Why are you doing this to me?" Seifer whispered back.

Squall could see tears beginning to form in Seifer's peridot eyes, tears that he seemed completely unaware of. He reached up with his free hand, and used his thumb to gently wipe away the wetness that was trickling its way down Seifer's cheek. Did Seifer shed tears often because of him? Squall manipulated his trapped hand so his fingers were twined with Seifer's, and stepped closer again. But, this time he rested his chin on Seifer's shoulder and held him, even though the other man's body language was less than reciprocating.

He sucked in his breath with shock when he heard someone other than Seifer clearing their throat. He disentangled himself from the warmth of Seifer's body, though it was being held like a stiff brick wall. Squall's heart rate slowed to normal when he saw it was Quistis, leaning against the door leading back into the Palace, her arms crossed. "You're lucky it's me, and not Rinoa or Ivan."

"Ivan wouldn't be surprised. I've told him the truth," Seifer murmured, looking sidelong at Squall, eyes full of accusation. "What would you have said if she'd been Rinoa? Or, if she'd been your father?"

Squall's lips parted, but nothing came out. He had no response.

"Would you have told her the truth? Would you have told her you want to be with me?"

Squall knew his silence wasn't what Seifer wanted to hear, and looked away as Seifer's pale green eyes started to boil.

"Piss off. Seriously." The taller man let out a bitter, disgusted sigh and stalked off, only pausing his stride to squeeze Quistis's shoulder affectionately in passing.

"I came to check on you," Quistis murmured, coming to stand beside her friend at the railing. She rested her arms on it, looking out over Esthar. Squall did the same, though she was certain he wasn't paying attention to the futuristic skyline. "To see if you were okay. I know he upset you back there."

"I deserved it," Squall muttered hatefully. _Why_ couldn't he just listen to that voice inside him, begging him to listen?

"Yeah," she breathed. "You do. But, that doesn't mean I still can't be concerned about you." She bumped her shoulder against his.

"Quisty, do you think he would take me back, even if I did tell the truth?" He didn't look at her as he asked this. "And, don't lie to spare my feelings."

"I don't know," she answered. "And, that's the truth. I know that you and Seifer... well, your relationship is deeper than even the two of you know. But, I also know Seifer is a very proud man, and you made a fool of him. You hurt him. And, that's not something he'll just forget overnight, Squall."

Squall silently absorbed her words, and the soaked into his skin like a poison. She'd just cast his deepest fear into high-contrast - that Seifer would never be able to forgive him, and the relationship he had with him, so unique and deep and intense, was gone forever. Few people could have probably hoped, ever in their lives, to have such a close bond with another human being, and Squall had fucked it up. Had he just wanted sex, because he'd misunderstood that soulful bond and thought it was about the physical, and mistaken it for bi-curiosity? Or, had he misunderstood his strong desire to protect and look after Rinoa, to be the Knight to her Sorceress, and mistaken it for love?

"I'm sorry, but you asked."

"Yeah, I did." Squall pushed himself away from the railing and slumped off. Quistis wanted to follow him, but figured he really wanted to be along right now.

Squall was getting pretty good at finding the deserted, lesser used hallways in the Estharian Palace, which he used to his advantage. He just really didn't want to lay eyes on anyone at that moment. Anyone that would have wanted to stop and talk to him was engaged with the wedding, and most of the employees working were in their offices, in meetings, or had gone home. Any he did pass had no interest in him. Once outside the Palace, he walked along the strange blue highways. Esthar was a city that was always busy, to there were lots of people out, too wrapped up in their own business to notice the President's son pulling out a flask from his tuxedo jacket and publicly drinking.

He drained every last drop of scotch, but still didn't feel numb. Not even after he drank his second hidden flask. He may as well have been drinking water for the effect it was having on him. He found that he was heading for the Aubergine District of the city, which was the name for the half-dozen blocks where most of the gay or fetish clubs and establishments resided. Squall tapped the bottom of his second flask for the last few droplets, shamelessly trying to get out what he could. He realized with a jolt it was because he wanted to taste something other than Seifer's mouth, which stuck to his lips like honey.

Squall entered a strip bar that he hadn't even bothered to check the name of. He plunked himself at the bar and started ordering shot after shot, casually looking over his shoulder at the three stages in the center of the building, only really paying attention when there was an eyeful of naked cock. He tapped the bar as a new dancer came on, and the bartender raised an eyebrow at him, his expression full of 'you've had too much to drink, Sir.' Squall pulled out a few large bills, and slid them towards the bartender's hand. It was enough to make him ignore just how much Squall was actually drinking.

He was actually starting to feel affected after he'd consumed enough drink that alcohol poisoning wasn't out of the realm of possibility. He became distracted from his single-minded task of sloshing away his longing for well, he didn't know what, when he looked at the body and face of one of the dancers, billed as Cheeky Ride. Squall thought the name had a little to be desired, but his body was far from disappointing. Not to mention the fact that he had short blonde hair, and looked quite long of limb.

"Who do I talk to about private rooms?" Squall slurred over the loud, pulsating electronica soundtrack.

"The manager." The bartender pointed to someone near a door marked 'staff only', who was in a conversation with a bouncer.

"Just give me the bottle," Squall demanded, gesturing to some scotch. He put more gil on the bar, enough that couldn't be argued with. He went over and requested a private dance from one Cheeky Ride, and pressed money into the manager's hand. Squall probably would be horrified the next morning about how much gil he was throwing away, but a combination of horniness and drunkenness made him not care in the slightest.

He was directed to an empty private room, and he lounged against the red and black velvet cushions of the fainting couch like he was completely at home doing something like this, even though he really wasn't. His sluttiness was resigned only to two people, both of whom he was in love with, and an act like having a stranger grind their naked body against him would have mortified and embarrassed him in any other state of mind.

When Cheeky Ride came in, he was even hotter up close. Not as hot as Seifer, of course, but still pretty fuckable. He cocked his head and blinked in a way that suggested he'd recognized Squall, but he didn't say anything. He was probably used to having some famous faces of Esthar request his company. How many politicians, actors or sports figures had sat on this exact couch and greedily eyed this stripper's naked flesh, just like Squall was doing right now?

"What do you want me to do?" Cheeky asked in a perfectly rehearsed coquettish way, playing with the sash on his robe.

" ...Whatever. Just as long as you wind up naked." Squall swigged from his bottle, his taste buds as thirsty as his eyes, which never wavered from his companion's groin area. He started to become bored by the nude gyrating, and distracted by the fact the stripper was sniffling a lot.

"How much if you let me inhale some of that blow you're high on?"

"Wha...?"

Squall just raised an eyebrow, steadily drinking as Cheeky tried to think of an answer. "How much to snort it off your body?"

"We're not supposed to..." Cheeky trailed off. Without his practiced voice, he sounded quite young.

Squall clumsily reached into his inner jacket with one hand, the other still wrapped around the now half-empty scotch bottle. He pulled out a wad of gil, and waved it under the boy's nose. "This enough?" He asked, bored tone becoming irritated.

"For that much, you could do anything you wanted to me," the boy breathed. He snatched the money between two fingers and counted it. He slid it into one of the pockets on his discarded robe, and pulled out a vial of white powder.

Squall rudely grabbed it, and shoved the stripper down, so he was sprawled on the couch, flat on his back. He was being pretty rough, but didn't give two shits. He poured some of the cocaine out onto Cheeky's stomach, and inhaled noisily. He licked up whatever grains of powder he'd missed, his head already starting to spin in a way that was pleasing to him. It made him feel like he was floating away, like he wasn't Squall Leonhart anymore. He didn't have the shackles of his life, he didn't have any of Squall's responsibility. He didn't have any self-loathing, or hatred of what his life had become. Or rather, what he'd let his life become by standing idly by. He could only distantly feel his companion sliding against him, taking his own hit of cocaine. He could feel the stripper's warm mouth cascading over the column of his throat, his fingers working the buttons on Squall's shirt, then finding their way into his lap.

When the stripper's mouth started to follow his hand, Squall shoved him away, looking him in the eye. His lids were half-closed with desire and inebriation, and saliva glistened on his lower lip. Squall put his hand in the young man's face and shoved him on his back with lack of ceremony or affection. He looked down at Cheeky, who was completely out of it and giggling under his breath. Squall started moving down his body to sate his craving for cock. He took another long snort to dull everything into a smear of blurry colour. He wanted to numb himself against the fact that the penis in his mouth wasn't the one that he wanted to be tasting. The cocaine and booze helped the fantasy along, and aided in suffering through the lies he'd created for himself. The one, big, giant lie his whole life had become.

---

"Hey, Irvine! Come on, we're going to breakfast!" Zell bellowed, pounding his fist on Irvine's door. The Palace had quieted down considerably after the wedding. Ellone and Roberto had already left for their honeymoon in Winhill. Zell checked his watch. "Or, brunch. Or lunch..." They'd all had a pretty late start after the reception, but had planned the previous night to enjoy the city.

"Maybe he's not in there alone," Xu murmured, checking her cell phone, reading a message from Luchia, who was getting things rolling in Deling City.

"I noticed him and Selphie dancing together a few times last night. Maybe..." Zell shrugged. "Yeah, maybe let's give him a few minutes." He put his hand on Xu's back and started to lead her away as her nose was still buried in her phone. He looked over his shoulder when he heard the door open, and he pulled a muscle in his neck from how violently he double-taked. After all, it wasn't an everyday occurrence to see Fujin leaving Irvine's room, obviously just having redressed in a hurry. Her suit jacket barely covered a bared chest, and she was carrying lacy black under things in her hands. Xu's eyebrows shot up, Luchia's text message completely forgotten, and Zell started stammering like a ninny.

Irvine stood in the doorway, his nudity only covered by his well-placed cowboy hat. He murmured something to Fujin under his breath, and she just simply nodded in a business-like manner that wasn't really post-coital.

She looked at both Xu and Zell with usual coldness as she started to walk back to her room. "CHICKEN," she greeted.

"Hey!" He shouted after her. "WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL... oh, forget it." He stormed right over to Irvine, who was full of masculine smugness. "Did I just see what I thought I saw?"

"Does it give you heart troubles to change your mood so rapidly?" He asked, puffing on a cigarette that had been dangling between two fingers.

"You and _Fujin_?!" Zell demanded.

Irvine grinned like a shark.

"Dude, I _cannot_ believe this. And, can you please put some clothes on?"

"What do you expect when you come pounding on my door. If you hadn't been so rude, I would have been up to the hilt in her again."

"Oh, God." Zell slapped his forehead. "You're going to give me nightmares. I just... _Fujin_?!" He demanded.

The grin on Irvine's face was starting to fade, and Zell thought he actually was starting to look annoyed, which was rare for him. "She's a woman and she's hot, Zell. Get over yourself. Now, let me get dressed, and over breakfast slash brunch slash lunch, I'll tell you about the best sex I've ever had."

"Thanks for my part of that, but no." Xu said earnestly.

"You ask Seifer and Ivan?"

Zell and Xu exchanged looks. " ...yeah, he said no thanks. Wanted to go out of the city. Thankfully," he added under his breath to his girlfriend, who smirked. "Said something about snake-hunting. Which is maybe a euphemism for something I really, really, really don't want to get a mental image of, or else I'll never be able to sleep again."

"That Ivan guy seems nice. Maybe he should be warned," Xu said silkily, to which Zell chuckled.

"You guys are assholes," Irvine muttered. It was maybe meant to be a joke, but his tone was quite serious. He turned to go back into his room, which made Zell groan and avert his eyes.

"You're not wearing pants!"

"You love it," Irvine purred before slamming his door.

Zell started pacing as he waited for Irvine to get dressed, Xu wandering off a little so she could make some phone calls. He saw Rinoa walking up the hallway, and called out to her. "S'up, Rinoa! Irvine and Fujin totally slept together!"

"Oh, really?" She asked, distracted. "That's nice."

"You and Squall should come with us to breakfast!" He called to her as she continued down the hallway.

"Oh, thanks, Zell... but, not right now. Maybe for dinner," she murmured, turning a corner. Her arms were locked around her torso as she made her way down the hall with purpose. She stopped at her destination, and rapped twice on the door, but didn't wait for a response. She opened the door, and stepped into Quistis's bedroom.

"Where is he?" She demanded, her anger flowing out of her when she saw that Quistis had been very, very asleep. And, that she was very, very alone.

"Huh...?" Quistis rubbed her eyes and groaned. "Rinoa...?" She yawned, looking at the other woman in sleepy confusion. "What are you doing in here? Is something wrong?" The blonde was immediately awake with concern. "Where's who?"

"Umm..." was Rinoa's reply, which sounded really lame to her.

"Oh my God," Quistis hissed, rubbing her cobalt eyes again. "You're looking for Squall in here, aren't you?" She sat up fully.

Rinoa mumbled something inconsequential, fidgeting wildly.

"I can't believe this." Quistis threw the sheets off and stood up. She was only wearing a tank top and panties, but didn't care. "I can't fucking _believe_ this." She threw back the sheets. "You see anyone laying in there?" She broadly gestured to the now exposed under sheets, slapping the flatness for good measure. "I mean, I know Squall's pretty slender, and might be hard to see, so you can come take a closer look if you want."

"I was just wondering... if you knew where he was," the Sorceress whispered.

"Horse shit you were. You were hoping to accuse me, like everyone else does."

"Where is he?" Rinoa slowly looked up into Quistis's eyes, flinching at the alien fury in them.

"How should I know?" Quistis demanded. "Probably out getting drunk and high somewhere."

"He's still drinking?"

"Isn't that something _you_ should be asking him? Don't you think that maybe that's the fucking problem between the two of you, and why he's..." Quistis stopped herself, for she'd almost blurted out the truth. She pinched her nose, feeling trapped. It would be so much easier to just tell Rinoa, but she was so hurt by her former friend that she decided not to. Let her find out for herself, then. "I'm sorry to disappoint you, but you can't tar and feather me. Not today." Quistis opened the door, glaring at Rinoa as she held it open. "Get out."

"Quistis, I..." Rinoa stopped talking under the weight of Quistis's anger. "I'm sorry," she whispered before running out of the room, covering her face with her hands as tears started to flow. The slam Quistis gave the door rattled through the hallway, as loud and painful as a gunshot.

---

Seifer fished a lock pick out of his pocket, and deftly bypassed the deadbolt that blocked him from his destination. He'd told Zell that he was going out to look for snakes, but the truth was he'd gotten a call from Sol around dawn. He was now breaking into a loft where a prominent Estharian psychiatrist was hiding out. He was going to be a witness in a trial, and of course someone he was going to be testifying against wanted him out of the way. As the lock clicked and Seifer slid soundlessly into the dark loft, stepping over the body of the guard he'd just killed, he felt sick with himself. But, what was he going to do? Sol wasn't the kind of person to be argued with, and he'd probably go the same way as Mars if he didn't go through with the hit.

He hadn't needed to lie to Ivan, because his boyfriend had wanted to explore the city, this being his first time in mythical Esthar. In fact, he'd been very eager about the whole thing, and had left as soon as the sun was completely up. Seifer pulled out a silenced handgun as he noiselessly ascended the stairs to the bedroom. The lights were all off, and his ears were perked for the sound of another hired bodyguard. He could hear the small sound of a floorboard creaking, and then the movement of darkness against darkness as the silhouette of another guard moved. Seifer fired, and heard the loud thump of his body hitting the floor. He waited to see if that would bring out anyone else, but heard nothing, other than the sound of loud snoring. The psychiatrist and his trophy girlfriend were sitting ducks, still sleeping as Seifer shot them both in the head, brains and blood splattering on the wall and soaking the sheets and pillows. He dropped the gun at the scene, and left as silently as he'd come, feeling as dead inside as the people he'd so ruthlessly killed.

Ivan was very understanding about Seifer still having very strong feelings for Squall, no matter what Squall did or said to him, but would he have that same understanding if he found out about _this_? How would Squall feel? Seifer worried more about what Squall would say than what Ivan would say, but he also had the feeling that Squall wouldn't be as angry. That he wouldn't be surprised. That he would understand, and it wouldn't change his feelings much. That Squall would still love him.

Seifer took a lifter to the rental car station. It was still very early, so the futuristic blue highroads and pedways weren't nearly as crowded as they would be in only an hour or two. The recorded, soothing female voice announced the scheduled stops, and the two other people on the lifter with Seifer both stood up when the voice called out "Now arriving at - Odine Laboratories." They got off, and one person got on as the voice pleasantly murmured "next stop - Southlands Gateway. Next stop - Southlands Gateway." That was the stop Seifer wanted. He could rent a car and go looking for snakes - keeping his alibi alive. The lifter waited, for this was a busy stop, and more people might come. Seifer's attention was drawn by what looked like some kind of commotion at Odine's labs. There were soldiers running around, heading for the labs with guns out.

As the lifter took off towards its next destination, Seifer looked over his shoulder towards the labs. Soldiers were gesticulating wildly to each other and running around like chickens with their heads cut off. But, Seifer's icy green eyes narrowed when he could have sworn he saw a familiar figure walking away from the scene, nobody even noticing he was there. Seifer blinked a couple of times and strained his eyes until he couldn't see it anymore. He'd been far enough away, and in motion, that it cast doubt on if he'd actually seen anything at all, but he could have sworn it looked like Ivan had been walking away from Odine's labs, and nobody else had even noticed him.

When Seifer returned to the Palace around dusk, there was quite the commotion. He briefly wondered if they'd found the psychiatrist dead, but all the talk was about what happened at the labs. He started to look for someone who could tell him what was going on, and for Ivan. But, their guest room was empty. What was he doing at the labs? Had that even been him?

"Irvine!" He called when he saw his childhood friend, talking with Quistis, Selphie, Rinoa, and a very haggard looking Squall. "Hey, you guys seen Ivan?"

"In there." Irvine pointed to a board room that Laguna used often. He could hear Odine's shrill voice, and he sounded hysterical. Seifer picked up on the tension among the group. Quistis was pointedly not looking at Rinoa, Rinoa was looking at her shoes, stealing looks at Quistis while trying not to look at Squall.

When Seifer looked at Squall's face, he was taken aback. "Hyne, Squall. You look like you woke up in a dumpster."

"Didn't sleep," he muttered. That was partially true. He'd been up most of the night doing drugs with Cheeky and some of his junkie friends, in between bouts of _doin_g Cheeky and some of his friends of both genders. After her disastrous visit to Quistis's room, Rinoa had found him passed out in one of the unused guest rooms. Her questions about his whereabouts, and his subsequent evasive lies, had started a tense argument that they were still locked in.

"So, what happened?" Seifer asked, curious as hell and concerned for his boyfriend.

"There was a break-in at Odine's labs," Selphie answered. "A really strange one. They're asking Ivan if he saw anything." She was leaning against the board room door, straining her ears to eavesdrop. "C'mon, guys!" She hissed. "Talk louder!"

"Why are they asking Ivan?" Seifer asked blankly.

"Because he was in a tour group that was there around the time of the break-in. They're asking all of them. You didn't know?"

Seifer felt very relieved, and very silly for any suspicions. "He just said he wanted to go out exploring. He often does things spur of the moment. So... strange how?"

"Magical," Rinoa answered. "They used magic to break into restricted areas, but there was nobody on the security cameras."

"They made themselves invisible?" Seifer asked, cocking an eyebrow. "That's not possible... right? Unless Esthar has made that technology." Magic and para-magic couldn't render a person invisible to something mechanical like a security camera. Even Ultimecia hadn't been able to make herself disappear from sight, and had to resort to bodily possession as a disguise.

"It's not supposed to be," Quistis replied, stroking her cheek, in deep thought. "They think it might have been Galbadia behind it, since they entered the advanced R and D sections. They might have been after projects that Odine was working on. But..."

"You think it was an inside job," Seifer finished, lowering his voice. "Espionage?"

Irvine tapped the side of his nose. "Probably was someone who worked in Odine's labs, and is going to sell information to the Galbadian army."

"Sounds sneeakkyyy!" Selphie murmured, excited.

"What kind of projects were in there?" Seifer asked, highly interested.

Quistis shrugged. "Nobody's really sure, considering how paranoid Odine is. He's going to bring her in to see if she can feel some residual magic." She jerked her beautiful blonde head in Rinoa's direction.

"I wonder if it was just research, or actual hardware?" Irvine wondered lowly.

"Someone who worked there would have known how to bypass the cameras. Maybe the tour group Ivan was in saw someone acting squirrelly," guessed Selphie, closing her eyes as she strained to hear through the thick door.

"I don't know that I can be much help," Rinoa muttered. "I don't even know what I'm supposed to be looking for. Odine's labs are full of magical energy, old and new."

"You'll do fine," Irvine encouraged in his most flirtatious voice as he patted her shoulder. Quistis said nothing, her jaw so tight it may as well have been wired shut.

"How's President Loire doing?" Seifer asked of Rinoa, though he was looking at Squall. Seifer knew the other man so well that he had the feeling he himself wasn't the only person who'd done something very recently that he wholly regretted.

"Oh, you know..." She muttered, sounding as miserable as Squall looked. "He'd still have a smile on his face, no matter what was happening. He's probably getting annoyed with Odine freaking out, though."

Squall looked at Rinoa's profile, then Seifer's. Rinoa was doing her angry silent treatment, and not looking at him, even though he knew she could feel his gaze on her. On the other hand, Seifer's eyes were zeroed in right on Squall's face. Squall could see the anger, disgust and pity in the other man's handsome face, but just as Seifer had seen regret in Squall, Squall could see it in Seifer. The more he looked into Seifer's pale green eyes, the more lost he seemed, like Seifer was letting the icy veneer melt away, showing something to Squall that he didn't let anyone else see. It made Squall hate himself even more for throwing away what they could have had, but Seifer looked away. He'd felt the moment, and his pride took over. He wouldn't let Squall get that close to him again. He couldn't just open himself like that, and then have his heart handed back to him like a used tissue whenever Rinoa batted her eyelashes and asked for Squall to rescue her. He wouldn't.

Squall even started to open his mouth. He could feel some wild, foolhardy confession welling in his throat. He was actually forming the words that he knew he should have said the moment his lips had touched Seifer's for the first time, but his mouth snapped shut when the board room doors opened, and the people inside came spilling out. Odine was a flurry of flustering arms and wildly coloured fabrics as he made a beeline straight to Rinoa. "Oh, Sorzerezz Rinoa! Pleaze come help!" Odine started tugging on her arm, while Laguna shook his head and gave Rinoa an apologetic shrug.

Squall didn't bother to say anything to his girlfriend as Odine dragged her away. It's not like she wanted to hear anything he had to say right now, anyway. Instead, he watched with mounting misery and anger as Ivan came out of the room, shrugging in a way that was painfully elegant. When he smiled at Seifer and ran his olive-skinned hand down the blonde man's arm, Squall really did wish bodily harm on him. Was his hatred for this man palpable? Could Ivan feel Squall's desire to slam his head in a door over and over again?

"You okay?" Seifer asked, leaning in for a kiss. Ivan kept it chaste, his dark eyes sliding over to Squall. The shorter man was taken aback by the way Ivan looked at him. Like he knew _exactly_ what Squall was thinking at that moment, and had turned his face away from Seifer's after only the briefest of kisses to spare Squall's feelings. It was pretty unnerving.

"Fine. They just wanted to know if I'd seen any of the lab employees doing strange things."

"They didn't rough you up, did they?" Seifer asked, teasing.

"No. You don't have any need to defend my honour," he murmured with an eye roll.

"Did you see anything?" Quistis asked eagerly.

"Like a hoard of Galbadian soldiers?" Irvine asked with a wink.

"Honestly, no. But, if they were going to do this, why would they let a tour group see them doing anything out of the ordinary?"

As Ivan spoke, Squall turned away from the conversation and walked slowly down the hallway, feeling so alone and in desperate want of a drink. Seifer felt a desire that was just as great - the one to go after Squall and just slap some sense into him, and get him into rehab again. And, what? Fight for him? Demand that Squall tell the truth about them? Make Squall his again, if Squall ever could have been considered 'his'? Squall made his choice, so why wouldn't Seifer's heart listen to the rest of him, and just let him go?

---

Two days later, Quistis was reading a newspaper and talking to Xu on the train back to Balamb. "If Galbadia was going to steal anything, they wouldn't just take one little thing having to do with Guardian Force research." They'd rehashed the details of the break-in to Odine's facilities several times, but it was still fun to discuss. Though, Irvine had no interest in going over it again. He was too busy flirting with Fujin, not caring one bit that Raijin was sitting between them, and getting more irritated by the minute.

"I know," Xu murmured thoughtfully. "GF study isn't exactly cutting edge anymore, and I don't know that it would have proper weapon applications."

"I wouldn't really want to have my army go up against an attack from someone summoning Eden, though," pointed out Quistis with a grin.

"Yeah, really!" Xu exclaimed. The closer they got to Balamb, the higher her spirits rose. "I bet questioning Ivan's tour group was maybe just a distraction, too." Seifer and Ivan had stayed behind in Esthar for a few more days, like a little vacation. The thought of Seifer and Ivan spending days alone together like some mini-honeymoon made Squall want to throw up.

"Unless someone knows something about a GF that nobody else has discovered yet," Zell pointed out. Xu was sitting between him and Quistis, and his hand was resting on her knee. "Why else would someone want to take a detector like that?" Only one thing had physically been stolen - a pocket-sized detection device that could locate the magical signatures of Guardian Forces.

"To cause a distraction," Squall slurred from across the aisle, not looking up from the issue of Weapons Monthly he was reading. He wasn't even really trying to hide the fact anymore that rehab hadn't worked, and he was sloshed out of his mind. The train started to slow as it neared Balamb's station. The conductor's voice told them that they would be arriving shortly, and to make sure they had all their personal belongings.

"Squall has a point," Selphie murmured, casting a wary eye across to him. "It's totally what I would do if I really wanted to find out some down and dirty information." Her jade eyes narrowed in mock-sneakiness. "Throw them off the trail by stealing something unimportant, and then WHAMMO!" She punched the air with her fist. Rinoa had to jerk back to avoid getting hit. "That's when I'd go into the top secret files and start printing out what I needed."

"You seem to know an awful lot about this..." Zell trailed off, arching a pale eyebrow. "It really does seem like something you'd do."

"Or, she'd make it seem like it was bigger than it was, but she'd really be after the GF detector so she could stalk Doomtrain," Quistis joked.

"Yeah, well..." Selphie laughed along with the rest of them, except for Squall, who didn't even muster a smile. But, Selphie's smile also wilted earlier than it would have if anyone else had made the crack. She was still less than friendly with Quistis over the whole love triangle thing. Quistis noticed, and promptly lost her humour, too.

Normally, Selphie was always the first to do something, but as far as trains went, she was always the last off, so she waited while everyone else stood up as the vessel came to a stop at Balamb's station. She found herself walking behind Quistis and Xu, and the whole air of it was very awkward. As they waited for their luggage to be unloaded, Quistis's ears perked up when she heard someone calling her name.

"Ms. Quistis Trepe?" A man asked, weaving through the crowd towards her. Another man, that was obviously with him, was calling Squall's name.

"Yes...?" She asked warily. His face was unfamiliar to her, and he definitely wasn't from Garden.

The man, her height and stocky with muscle, his light brown hair thinning at the hairline, rummaged inside his rumpled trench coat and pulled out an ID badge. "I'm Detective Aaronson from the Deling City police. I'd like to ask you a few questions." A few feet away, the other man in a similar trench coat was pulling out his ID and showing it to Squall, saying pretty much the exact same thing to him.

"About?" She asked blankly, though her blood ran cold with a very bad premonition.

"The death of Evan Phaighn."

"You've already asked me about that," she muttered, brow furrowed. She could hear Squall arguing in kind with the other officer.

"New evidence has come to light. Will you please come with me, ma'am?"

Quistis opened her mouth to protest, but what could she say? They were going to question her whether she wanted them to or not. She looked over her shoulder and saw that anyone within earshot was staring at her, and that a few were whispering behind their hands. Xu was biting her lip in concern and said "don't worry. I'll call a Garden official."

Quistis nodded, and let the detective lead her away towards the Balamb Police Department. Squall wasn't far behind. She looked over her shoulder again, and saw Xu nodding in encouragement, still biting her lip with worry. But, Quistis had mistaken her friend's reaction. Xu wasn't biting her lip in concern, but to hide the fact that she was grinning from ear to ear.


	7. Chapter 7

****

Chapter 07

Seifer's heart was racing as he looked around him. He'd been running, and his heavy grey trench coat, now in complete tatters, was plastered to his back from all the sweat. Something stank, and he could hear running water. It was also bitterly cold, his hands like ice even though he was wearing gloves. His eyes started to focus in the dark. He'd run into a circular chamber. The distant smell of sewage was in the air, mingled with some unpleasant, musty odour. It smelled like death. He then realized he was in a large jail cell, and it wasn't this fact that made his blood run cold. It was where this lonely, dank cell was located. In the bowels of Ultimecia's castle. The fecal smell was from the castle's sewage run-off, and in the distance, he could hear creatures of some kind, and the distinct undercurrent of a ticking clock.

He made a beeline for the door, his heart racing. This was the last place in all of time and space that he wanted to be. Trapped by her. Under her control again. Locked in his stupid, childish dreams of being a Sorceress' Knight. What a fool he'd been! The cell echoed with his footsteps, crunching against debris. He jiggled at the lock, panting. It held firmly in place, and he started pounding on the door, now sobbing in panic. No. No, no, no. He couldn't be here again. He wouldn't be able to look into her acidic gold eyes and see all his failures. He would rather be dead.

Seifer started screaming and pounding on the door so hard that he was cutting through his gloves, cutting open his knuckles. His blood sprayed on the old, cracked wood, and found that he was calling Squall's name. He screamed and screamed for help, even though he knew nobody would hear him. But, why would Squall answer? He'd chosen Rinoa. He'd chosen the one that was worthy of him. Who was Seifer? He was a fool. He was a murderer. He wasn't worth saving. He slumped to the floor, something cracking loudly under his knees. In the gloom, he looked down at what he was kneeling on, and jumped to his feet, recoiling in horror. It was a skeleton. He'd cracked the right part of the ribcage under his weight. He scuttled backwards, the cell filled with the endless echo of more bones crunching.

Seifer stopped all movement, and realized the dungeon's floor was completely covered in skeletons and decomposing corpses. He noticed that most of the skeletons were wearing tattered uniforms. He leaned forward to peer that them in morbid curiosity. He felt a tear track down the side of his nose when the full weight of what he was looking at hit him. The skeletons looked so small and lost wearing the uniforms of Trabia Garden cadets. Some of the bodies were so small Their bones looked charred, like they'd been in an awful fire. Like they would have looked after the missiles wiped the school off the face of the earth. The bony mandibles were open in silent screams. Screams that wouldn't be heard because of him.

Piled on top of the hundreds of skeletons were fresher bodies that were bloated and putrid. The faces of people he'd killed under Sol's orders. The Estharian psychiatrist was the freshest body, still bleeding. His eyes still held light, and the muted starlight was reflected in them. Seifer let out a gasp that was actually more like a scream when a loud death rattle came from the psychiatrist's chest, and his head grotesquely animated, and he turned to look Seifer in the face. Half his head was gone from the fatal gunshot wound Seifer had inflicted on him, and the motion caused some bits of brain to spill down the jagged hole in the skull and trickle down his cheek like a tear.

"Why do you look so horrified?" The corpse asked, his voice incongruous to his appearance. The voice chilled Seifer, and he would have rather listened to that death rattle on repeat for the rest of his life than hear _her_ voice coming from the body's blue lips. "You killed all these people in kold blood."

"I didn't..."

"Didn't what?" Ultimecia's voice asked, the starlight in the dead, milky eyes glittering more brightly. "Didn't _mean to_?" She cooed chillingly. "Was _forced to_?" Her laughter was cruel. "It was your choice, my little poppet. You wanted to be a Knight, yes? More than anything. And, now you act as if you're the viktim?"

"I know I'm not."

"You lie."

Seifer looked away from the animated corpse. "Go away. Let me rot in here in peace."

"Don't turn away from what you've done, Seifer."

He hated the sound of his name when she said it.

"You're a killer. And, you kan't pretend you're not."

"Shut up."

"What?" The corpse laughed. It sounded dusty and wheezy, mingled with the dark chill of Ultimecia's amusement, like a violin being played off-tune. "You think you have friends? Friends who have forgiven you? Who will forgive you when they find out the truth? Raijin and Fujin? They will abandon you once and for all. This will be the last straw. Kwistis? She only uses you as a last resort because her other friends have turned their backs on her. Skwall?"

Seifer flinched at the sound of her voice saying his name.

"Well, you know how _that_ ended." The corpse grinned, and a tendon that had been half-destroyed snapped, echoing in the chamber. It made Seifer had to swallow back vomit. "He doesn't love you."

Seifer closed his eyes, and it burned like he hadn't blinked in hours. Her words were ugly and sharp as a knife. The truth often was. Ultimecia, gloved in the remains of Seifer's most recent victim, remained silent. She was smart, and knew that she'd hit her mark. Knew there was nothing more to say that could cause him any more pain. He could hear those words still echoing in his mind. He doesn't love you. It was the truth that he knew, but a childish and stupid part of him didn't want to acknowledge it because of his own feelings for Squall, and how much he loved him. He really wanted to believe that Squall felt the same as he did, and sometimes he would feel it, knowing the other man as well as he did, but

"But what?"

Seifer sharply took in his breath, startled by the sound of Ultimecia's voice. He'd been so lost in his head that he'd forgotten about her. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

"You know Skwall better than anyone, yes? As well as yourself? But, you hardly know yourself. You're a lost child. Maybe you never really knew him at all. Or, maybe he's changed bekause of his lady love, and left you behind in childish immaturity."

"Shut up," Seifer said again, but more weakly than before.

"I tell you the truth. He used you. He saw your desperation to be anything but what you really are, and he used it. He's a whore and a drunk and he akted akkordingly."

"SHUT UP!" Seifer screamed. "Shut up about him!"

The dead body's face became still, and Seifer could feel a great coldness coming from that area of the cell. Something blacker than darkness rose above the body like a noxious gas, hovering dangerously. It twined around him like smoke, and chilled him straight to the bone. It felt like oily hands stroking him through his clothes, and he felt dirty and violated. The smoke got him like shackles, and he couldn't escape. But, that was the crux of it all. He'd _never_ escaped from her, no matter how much he tried to pretend he had. Studying tonberrys? Attending university? Trying to find happiness with Ivan? With Squall? All lies. He was still her Knight, still her killer.

Seifer stiffened as he heard the sound of heavy footsteps and metal clinking against metal. The smoke invaded every pore of flesh, a gaseous prison. He felt it wind around his wrists, and Ultimecia materialized from the dense black fog, holding him from behind in a too strong grip. Her claw-like fingers bit into his skin painfully, and he started thrashing. But, it wasn't because of her. It was because of the ugly aura that had entered the prison chamber. More powerful than Ultimecia could ever hope to be. It buzzed in Seifer's head like a hive, and caused his panting breath to come out in thick white clouds of cold condensation.

Ultimecia's grating laughter washed over his ear as he tried to get out of her grip so he could run. "Fitting, my dear. Now all your viktims are here." She gracefully pushed him forward, still holding tight. Her jewellery tinkled together like broken glass.

Seifer could see two pinpricks of red within the dim light as the majestic form of Odin walked towards him, crushing discarded bones under his feet like it was mere gravel. His eyes burned with unfathomable power, and his cape billowed behind him with each purposeful stride. With each flap of each fold of fabric, Seifer was deafened by the sound of hellish, unearthly screams. It was said that Odin was the master of the land of the undead, so these screams could have been ghosts, trapped souls. Disjointed screams ripped from the bodies and skeletons, until it was all that Seifer could hear, until it shattered his eardrums and blood trickled from out of his ear canal, Odin coming ever closer...

"Seifer! Wake up. Seifer, wake up!"

Seifer's peridot eyes snapped open, and he started struggling madly against the hands wrapped around his wrists. The grip was painfully strong, trying to restrain his wild thrashing.

"Seifer!" A voice snapped authoritatively.

He blinked a few times, looking up. He wasn't staring into the burning red eyes of Odin any longer. Instead, they were Ivan's glittering black eyes, looking down at him in concern. Seifer's own eyes burned with terrified tears, and his chest was rising and falling at a rapid pace. His heart was beating a dangerous tattoo in his rib cage.

"You were having a nightmare," Ivan murmured, still holding Seifer's wrists. "You're at home, in your bed. You're safe."

It took Seifer a few moments to realize this was true. His ears still felt like they were ringing from the screaming, and when he stared into Ivan's increasingly familiar gaze, it still felt like he was staring down the legendary Guardian Force.

"It was just a dream," Ivan whispered, slowly releasing Seifer's wrists when he knew Seifer was aware of himself again. He ran his long fingers through Seifer's sweaty gold hair, half-sitting up with his weight resting on his elbow and forearm.

Seifer struggled to get his breathing under control. "Did I wake you up?" He asked when he was able to speak. The question held a little shock.

"I wasn't asleep."

Seifer would have been dumbfounded if even the most violent of night terrors had woken his boyfriend. Ivan slept _very_ deeply. So deeply in fact that he would fall into apnea and stop breathing at times. Seifer had been warned before the first time they'd shared a bed, but it still freaked him out when he'd witnessed it. He reached over and took Ivan's hand, holding it tightly. He wanted to feel the realness of him.

"Want to talk about it?"

Seifer shook his head, slipping into a more relaxed state as Ivan continued to stroke his hair, his fingers massaging his scalp. He reached over and started tracing a very large, rather nasty scar on Ivan's torso, from just beside his right nipple, trailing jaggedly down his ribcage before petering off above his hip bone. Seifer wondered if his desire to touch Ivan's scar had something to do with Squall, and the whole giving each other matching scars thing. Ivan never questioned why Seifer was compelled to constantly touch the ugly wound, and Seifer never asked him how he'd gotten such a scar, even though he was really curious. It was thick and dark, and would have went down very deep. It seemed like the kind of wound that should have been fatal.

"You could have died from this." It was the first time Seifer had said anything to acknowledge Ivan's scar, other than the first time he'd seen it and made some flippant, disposable comment like 'wow, that's some scar'.

Ivan just shrugged. "It was a training accident."

"You don't have to..."

"It's okay," Ivan assured with a small smile, laying back down beside Seifer. He kept stroking his fingers through his boyfriend's hair to comfort him, resting his cheek on Seifer's sweaty shoulder. "I was in Garden briefly."

"Really?" Seifer asked dully, though he wasn't terribly surprised. Lots of people went to Garden and dropped out at an early age.

"Galbadia Garden," Ivan murmured, putting his other hand on Seifer's chest. He could feel that his heart was still beating pretty fast. "I was only there a few years. We were training, and got a little carried away." Ivan's black eyes slid up to the scar between Seifer's brows.

"So, you didn't want to go back."

"It wasn't for me, anyway."

"I guess that's something else we have in common." Seifer tried to make the comment light as he wrapped his arms around Ivan's slender waist, his finger still shaking, screams still echoing in his brain. He shuddered and turned himself into the other man's body, still feeling bitterly cold.

"You were calling his name again," Ivan said, even as he held Seifer tighter.

"I'm sorry," Seifer mumbled, knowing exactly who Ivan meant.

"Don't be," Ivan whispered, meaning it.

"It's pretty selfless of you," Seifer said bitterly into Ivan's chest. "That you don't care that I'm in love with another man."

"Maybe it isn't so selfless," was the cryptic reply.

"What?" Seifer pulled away so he could look into Ivan's eyes. "You mean... that it's kind of selfish actually, that you don't care if I'm in love with another man, because if I am, that means we aren't serious, and you don't have to _be_ in love with me?"

Ivan's arched eyebrows rose. "Not bad. Maybe you're starting to get to know me like you do him." He became very serious. "Do you want me to care, Seifer?"

Seifer sighed and curled back into the embrace. He wasn't much interested in taking it further than a comforting hug. He was still too freaked out by his nightmare to be amorous, and they'd already sated themselves plenty before going to sleep in the first place. " I don't know," he answered after a while, yawning. "...notlikeanyoneelsedoes," he mumbled as he fell back asleep, words slurred together.

Ivan lay awake, feeling Seifer breathing beside him, his skin pale and luminous in the moonlight compared to the olive tint of his own. The blonde man's breathing started to get laboured, and Ivan could feel the pulse in Seifer's jugular jumping under his fingers. He moved his fingertips gently up Seifer's neck, stroking his temples lovingly. Seifer's breathing started to slow in tune with his pulse as the nightmare was chased from his mind. He fell into a deep and dreamless sleep, Ivan staying awake like a sentinel. He was so still that he stopped breathing, and only inhaled when he remembered that's what he was supposed to do.

Beside the digital alarm clock whose red numbers showed it was 4:18, a wristwatch caught Ivan's gaze. He looked hard at the device, cleverly disguised as a timepiece. The watch lay silent, emitting no ticking like a common watch would have done, and it also didn't make the noise that Ivan was hoping to hear. It occupied his every thought. He gently moved his arm so he wouldn't disturb his partner, and reached for the metal object, holding it in his hand. He pressed some of the programming buttons on the watch, where normally they would have changed the time, date or alarms. But, the watch face became something like a compass, broken and not pointing anywhere, giving Ivan no answers. Answers he wanted desperately. Ivan sighed and remembered to breathe again, putting the watch back next to the alarm clock, the face of the Guardian Force detector disguising itself as a watch once more.

---

Two days later, Seifer was morosely stirring some sugar into his coffee. It was a beautiful day in Dollet, the first they'd had in nearly a week because of a long spell of rain. He and Ivan were sitting at a quiet corner table in a coffee shop they went to often. Maybe it could be considered 'their' place, but they honestly didn't have that kind of sentimentality in their relationship. Seifer had begun to realize that while he cared very much about the other man, he couldn't picture spending a lifetime with him. Not when he could still so clearly picture his future being intertwined completely with Squall's. Maybe that's why he chose Ivan. There was a remoteness about him. Maybe Seifer was using him because he knew he could try to forget Squall without getting too emotionally involved. It was a selfish, cruel thought.

__

And, you are selfish and cruel

, his inner voice told him, which kept sounding more and more like Ultimecia. He often had dreams about her, but the one the other night seemed to be the one that finally cut through his subconscious. It made him finally realize how stupid all of this bullshit was. Pretending to start over, pretending to want to become a naturalist or a zoologist or whatever. Pretending he wasn't a killer, that he wasn't taking someone's life once a week. Pretending that things could ever go back to normal, that he could ever have something with Squall.

Ivan was equally quiet, staring off into space. He had the GF detector on his right wrist, waiting desperately for it to give any kind of sign. His secondary concern was with the man across from him. Ivan was very well aware just what Seifer was thinking. He hated to see the normally proud, independent man so defeated, so subservient to his own self-loathing.

Seifer put his coffee carefully down on the table, looking at Ivan hard. "Ivan... we need to break up," he said bluntly.

Ivan slowly put his mug down. "All right."

Seifer frowned. "That's it?" He asked. He'd at least expected _some_ kind of reaction. The way Ivan was looking at him though told Seifer that his soon to be ex-boyfriend knew exactly why this was happening. That he knew just what Seifer was thinking, just like Squall always did.

"You've made no secret that you're in love with someone else, and those kinds of feelings don't just go away because you're having sex with someone else. No matter how good the fucking is."

"You don't care at all?" Seifer asked, a little surprised.

"Yes, of course. But, I told you right from the start that I don't want forever." Ivan reached into his pants, pulling out his wallet. He started counting out some gil, and put it on the table. "If that's something that I wanted, I think I would have wanted it with you."

Seifer looked at Ivan carefully. "Sometimes I forget that I don't really know that much about you, really."

"I think that's a two-way street." It wasn't exactly an accusation, but it was said with the air that Ivan knew exactly what Seifer was doing when he would vanish with his gym bag full of hidden guns. He stood and went over to where Seifer was seating, bowing his long and lean body so he could kiss Seifer lovingly on the mouth. "Can I give you a piece of advice?"

"I think you will anyway, even if I say no."

Ivan grinned, then became serious. "I think you should let Squall in. I think he wants you to fight for him, and take that step that he's too afraid to."

"Duly noted," was the dismissive answer.

"Seifer, I'll always be here for you when you need me most." Ivan kissed him again then left, hand subconsciously going to his wrist, running his thumb over the quiet face of the fake watch.

__

He won't want to be with you,

Ultimecia's voice taunted.

And, the truth was that Seifer believed her advice more than he believed Ivan's.

---

"Cid wants to see you, you know," Quistis told Squall as she drove him back up to Garden. They'd both been at the police station again, answering the same questions they'd answered a hundred times about Evan's death. It had taken nearly half an hour just to wade through the sea of press people outside the Balamb police station, all wanting to inundate the pair of them with questions about Evan, and the fact that two days prior, Squall had been arrested for DUI and it had almost immediately been splashed all over every celebrity rag in the world. He'd had to pay a heavy fine, and his license had been suspended for two years. The only reason he wasn't facing jail time was because he was a member of SeeD. Though, Quistis had the feeling that might not even last much longer. Squall's out-of-control drinking was starting to embarrass Garden publicly. Even ever-forgiving Cid couldn't pretend it wasn't happening forever.

"...Whatever," Squall snapped, arms crossed so tightly across his chest, it was a wonder that he could even breathe.

Quistis muttered angrily under her breath as they drove up to Garden. Any discipline Squall was going to face would affect her, too. She didn't want to be selfish, because Squall was obviously suffering. Or, crashing and burning if you wanted to look at it differently. But, she couldn't help feeling selfish inside, dammit. She was never selfish, and she was worried about her long-term career in Garden. If Squall was suspended, or his duties were lightened, she'd be shelved too. Or, she'd have to adjust to a new SeeD partner. _Not that anyone else would want to partner with the slut of Balamb_, Quistis told herself darkly. _A slut who's pretty much being arrested for a murder she didn't commit._

She stole a look to Squall in the passenger seat. He looked like a stranger to her, so thin and pale with dark, dark circles under his eyes. He looked sweaty and unhealthy, eyes glassy. What was he thinking? Was he even thinking anything? Maybe that's why he was doing this to himself. So he wouldn't _have_ to think. So he wouldn't have to deal with anything. He could be nobody, nothing. Or, he could drink himself into a fantasy where he was the person he actually wanted to be, instead of the person he thought he should be. He always moulded himself out of everyone else's opinions, even when he was a so-called loner.

"What?" Squall snapped, sniffing loudly. He could feel Quistis's gaze on him like a really annoying laser.

"Squall, I..."

"I know that tone," he muttered, unnecessarily wiping his nose. He was getting really cold and bitter, coming down from his high. "So, just butt out. All right?"

"Fine," she muttered, turning her eyes back to the road as they came to the Garden main road. "Fine." She jerkily swerved the car into a free spot and killed the engine. "It's fine that you're snow-blowing away your whole life. That you're ruining everything. That whenever you're not around and my phone rings, I think it's going to be a call asking me to come identify your body."

"Don't be so melodramatic," Squall sniffed, getting out of the car on wobbly legs. The first thing he wanted to do was find the nearest bathroom. He needed a pick-me-up.

"You're going to push everyone away. You think Rinoa will keep putting up with this?"

"S'not like I care," he hissed, banging into a wall as he tried to walk up the long cement hallway that connected Garden with the parking garage.

"What about Seifer, then?"

"In case you haven't noticed, he's not interested. Besides, he's got _Ivan_," he said hatefully. He stumbled again, banging into a uniformed cadet, sending her books flying all over the floor. She saw who knocked her sideways, and started muttering unkind things under her breath as she crouched to retrieve her things.

"Squall!" Quistis exclaimed angrily as he started to shuffle up the hall. "Here, let me help you." She crouched to pick up a few texts.

"Thanks. I got it," the cadet said dismissively, snatching the books out of Quistis's hand.

The blonde jerked back, hearing the venom. Like there wasn't anyone's help this girl wouldn't like less than Quistis's. She slowly stood up and watched the cadet get the rest of her things and hurry off as if she and Squall weren't standing there at all.

"Squall..." She trailed off. "Cid's office is the other way."

"Bathroom."

She could only shake her head. "Don't you think you're high enough already?"

"Would you rather I fucking pissed my pants?" He asked, his voice sounding completely unlike him, and yet so like the Squall he currently was. "Or, you want to hold it for me?"

Quistis just put her hands on her hips and glared at his childishness. "I give up," she muttered. She splayed out her hands with finality. "I give up."

Squall made a little, sarcastic 'whoopdee-doo' motion with his hands before practically falling into the men's room. Quistis stormed off, moving her glasses so she could pinch the bridge of her nose. It killed her that she'd just in essence turned her back on Squall, but what else could she do? He obviously didn't want anyone's help, and when it was offered, he either just shrugged it off, or showed outright hostility and defiance.

Quistis made her way up to the third floor and her office. Nobody paid any attention to her, treated her like she didn't exist, and right now that was just fine with her. She saw Rinoa standing in the hallway talking to a handsome recent SeeD graduate. They were both laughing, and she was smiling in a way she hadn't done in a while. It's not like Squall made her do anything but cry recently. Quistis stopped dead in her tracks, and started to look for another way to her office. Yet _another_ showdown with Rinoa wasn't really high on her to-do list. She kept thinking there was no way she could feel more hurt by her broken relationship with the other girl, but she was constantly being proven wrong.

__

Aw, damn. You're supposed to be a SeeD, dummy! Use some stealth!

She yelled at herself when Rinoa caught sight of her. She excused herself from the conversation with the new SeeD and made her way up to Quistis. So, she just crossed her arms and started down the shorter woman, feeling a measure of spiteful satisfaction when Rinoa had to look away.

"Did you come back here with Squall?" Rinoa asked of the floor. She started fiddling with the fringe on the patterned gold and bronze silk scarf she wore tied around her waist.

"Why don't you just go find him yourself?" Quistis asked dismissively. "And, don't worry," she said faux-breezily as she walked past Rinoa. "He was too blitzed to fuck me today. Maybe he won't even notice you flirting with another man in public."

"I wasn't..." Rinoa trailed off, blushing.

Quistis just threw her hands up in a shrug as she turned to face Rinoa, walking backwards. "You don't need to defend yourself to me. We aren't friends anymore, so it doesn't matter what you do."

"Oh, Quistis, don't say that!" Rinoa exclaimed, her eyes starting to sting.

"Why not? How have you shown me that you want to salvage this friendship?"

Rinoa opened her heart-shaped mouth, but could think of little to say in defence.

"Don't bother," the blonde murmured. "Don't bother trying to insult my intelligence, Rinoa. You let other people dictate your opinions, something that you never would have normally let them do. You would have had too much respect for yourself to be so spineless. You let becoming a Sorceress weaken your resolve and your ideals. You let yourself become a simpering little girl too dependant on her Knight, and utterly let it become her identity."

"That's not fair!" Rinoa exclaimed. "I have every right to be afraid of myself! I almost killed you because of these powers! I could have killed everyone when Ultimecia let it control me! I killed Angelo! She was my best friend." Her voice was starting to raise, and people passing by were shooting looks in their direction.

"And, it wouldn't have happened if you'd owned your own powers, instead of expecting Squall to swoop in on his white horse and make everything all better!" She stepped forward and jabbed her finger into Rinoa's chest to emphasize her words. "You should own what you are! A Sorceress, a Witch, an avatar of Hyne. Accept the bad with the good! A Sorceress can exist without a Knight, not the other way around. You're stronger than this fear. And, your fear puts too much pressure on Squall. Maybe it's one of the reasons he's become what he has."

"Are you saying it's my fault?" Rinoa hissed hotly. She could feel her fingertips tingling with magic that was itching to escape into the air.

"No. Squall's problems are his own. But, you're still doing it all the same." She turned and strode down the hall.

Rinoa watched her go, a little blindsided by Quistis's outburst. It seemed like she'd probably wanted to get that stuff off her chest for a while. Maybe even before they'd gone into Time Compression. She got a sudden, deep pang like someone had punched her. That angry conversation made Rinoa think of the last time Quistis had spoken to her so sharply - in her father's study in Deling City, when Rinoa had wanted to try and give Edea that Odine's bangle. It had been a silly, girlish idea, and Quistis had been right to get angry with her, Rinoa knew that now. Was Quistis right now?

And, just like that night of Edea's parade, which seemed like another person's life, Quistis almost immediately felt regret. As she neared her office, she thought about turning around and apologizing to Rinoa. But, any thought of Rinoa left her mind when she saw that she had a visitor waiting outside the locked door to her office. Nida.

"What are you doing here?" She asked blankly.

"Waiting for you." He asked, uncrossing his arms as she approached her office door and started fishing in the pocket of her white jeans for her keys. Nida tried not to stare at the way the pants clung to her hips and buttocks, especially when she was obviously in a sour mood.

"What for?" She asked, exhausted in every sense of the word. She unlocked her office door, and was a little embarrassed by the state of it when he followed her inside. She'd pretty much been living in the office, rather than in the dorms. At least not everyone in Garden was allowed in the administration wings, and she could at least go a few hours without hearing catcalls or feeling ugly glares that made her feel dirty all over.

"I wanted to see if you were okay," he murmured, only casting the briefest glance around the messy office. It was so unlike Quistis, but... this is what her life was now, no thanks to her so-called friends. "But, I guess you aren't. I know you had to go to the police station again."

Quistis just shrugged, fiddling with some papers and pretending to straighten them so she could look down, hoping that Nida couldn't see the shamed flush in her cheeks.

"I'm not like them, you know? I'm not trying to dig for dirt."

"What could possibly be okay about this whole mess?" She asked, sounding defeated. She was in the kind of mind frame where she was thinking about the past, and this reminded her how she'd felt when she told Squall that she'd failed as an Instructor. And, just as he'd been back then, he was now completely unhelpful, and she really may as well have just talked to a wall. "It's probably only a matter of time before Cid kicks me out of Garden. And, I wouldn't really blame him."

"But, you didn't do anything wrong."

"And, what about..."

"Garden's public image," Nida answered at the same time she did. It actually elicited a smile, which faded away far too quickly.

"Squall's having a meeting with Cid, probably as we speak if he isn't passed out on a bathroom floor somewhere. After that, I'd bet every gil to my name that Cid will come see me after that."

"You know Cid won't just kick you out."

"What's here for me now, anyway?" Quistis asked with a shrug.

"I don't like defeatist Quistis."

She sighed. "No... I don't much like her either." She turned around and leaned her butt on the desk. "Maybe I would feel better about this whole thing if Seifer would return my phone calls. But, I think he's being anti-social."

"Is he your BFF now?" He hoped he'd get another smile from her with that incredibly lame line. "I think I felt my IQ drop a few points just _saying_ that."

She did smile, biting her lip to make it go away. "More like my OFF."

"He's not your only friend."

"Sometimes feels like it." She cut the air with her hands. "No. No. I won't start doing that. I won't be teenage mopey Quistis, pining after Squall, listening to sad songs in the middle of a pitch black dorm room. Besides, I have Fujin, too. And, Irvine I guess... even though I sometimes think his friendship has ulterior motives that involve the inside of my panties. And, Xu's been wonderful."

"And, Squall of course."

Quistis frowned. "I can't count on Squall for much of anything right now."

"What _happened_ to him?" Nida asked, bewildered. He'd gotten quite used to Squall's horrid transformation, but when he thought back on how Squall used to be, it became even more staggering. Even more sad.

"Squall's always been someone that cares so much what others think and expect of him. Actually letting people in finally created pressure on him. All from himself, of course. He just doesn't know how to deal with it, and doesn't know how to listen to himself, and what _he_ wants." She stopped herself from revealing more. She felt so comfortable talking to Nida right now that she would have told him almost anything, but she still couldn't betray Squall's secret regarding Seifer.

"You forgot to mention someone on your list of friends."

"If you're talking about Selphie or Rinoa, you can just stop right there."

He cleared his throat.

"Oh, Nida... that goes without saying."

"It's all right. I'm used to being the invisible man."

"Xu's never thought that," Quistis said quietly, going around her desk and sitting in the chair. She wanted to put some space between them.

"Oh my God, not this again. I've told Xu _hundreds_ of times that I just don't think of her that way. I've told you hundreds of times that I don't think of her that way, and I never will. I've told you a hundred times how much I like you, and still like you despite what you think your reputation is like. And, Xu's with Zell."

"It's... complicated."

"Maybe that's why you and Squall get along so well. You make things more complex than they have to be."

"You sound like Seifer. Except more polite and less of an ass."

"I'll take that as a compliment. Though, I hope I'm not quite as gung ho about slicing up my classmates."

Quistis's eyes cast down to the desk.

"Sorry. That was kinda crass. And, really unfunny."

"You're the first person I've really talked to in days. Isn't that wretched?"

"On an infinite number of levels."

"Nida, please don't do this to me!"

"Quistis, don't lie to me." He said sternly, coming around the desk. She rose out of the chair to get past him, but he blocked her path. "I can tell how you feel."

"If you can tell so well, you should be able to feel how uncomfortable this makes me!"

"You're allowed to be happy, despite what Xu may want." He gripped her shoulders.

"Xu does want me to be happy!" Quistis exclaimed. She held his wrists firmly and pulled his hands away. "I could never betray her like that, because I know she would never betray me!"

"Maybe you give Xu too much credit!" Nida blurted out, getting angry with her nobility and stubbornness.

"What is that supposed to mean, Nida?"

"If she's as good a friend as you claim, she'd want you to be happy, and would see how obvious it is that there's something between us."

"There's nothing between us!" She shouted, knowing it was a lie. How could there be nothing between them when there was all this sexual tension in the air, and she wanted to shout at him some more to raise it even higher. When he was angry, his eyes smouldered...

"Look me in the eye and tell me you really mean that."

Quistis tried to, but when she was staring into his dark brown eyes, she couldn't. "It doesn't matter if I mean it or not!" She finally decided on saying. Or rather, shouting. And, then she was kissing him. Not just kissing him, but eating his mouth, pressing against his lips hard enough to bruise. The force of his return was equal to her, and he had her shirt balled up in his fists as she ran her hands all over him with a hard, desperate possession. She wanted this so fucking bad. She'd wanted it for years. The way he was kissing her was something she'd sorely missed in her new pariah status. She could feel wet heat between her legs as her lower regions begged her to finally, finally yield. His hardness was pressing against her thigh, and his mouth seemed boiling hot.

"Stop," she muttered against his lips, voice lost somewhere between their busily working tongues. She got enough control of her willpower before her legs completely turned to jelly, and shoved him away with flat palms. "Stop, stop. We can't," she protested, completely out of breath.

"Why, goddammit?!" He hissed, caught halfway between utter desire and frustrated annoyance.

"You know why." She was panting hard, and had to look away from him.

"Not this again," he groaned.

"Yeah, this again!" Quistis snapped, brushing some errant strands of gold off her sweaty forehead.

"You think Xu would be this noble for you, if the situation were reversed?" Nida asked dully, rubbing his temples. He knew he was soon going to have a horrible case of blueballs.

"She already has been."

"You think so?" Nida asked cryptically.

"What are you talking about?" She demanded, putting her hands on her hips. Her desire was starting to wane, and she didn't like the tone in Nida's voice. "What?!" She demanded when he didn't answer.

Nida opened his mouth to start speaking, but he suddenly realized that his and Quistis's voices weren't the only ones raised. And, the other voice was getting louder. "What's that?"

Quistis completely forgot about their argument. She recognized Squall's voice, but up until very recently had she ever heard it so loud. In fact, as long as she'd known him, she'd never known Squall to much raise his voice. Cocaine and alcohol had changed every aspect of him. She opened the door, and found she wasn't the only one who was looking around in confusion. The hallway was filled with milling people, all looking at Squall in shock. Some were whispering to friends behind their hands, while others were just staring with their mouths hanging open.

"Everyone just fucking assumes they know what I want!" Squall shouted. He was poking his finger into Cid's chest, getting right into his face. "I am not your goddamn golden boy!"

"Squall, calm down!" Cid urged calmly. His cheeks were flushed, and he looked on the verge of tears. Squall had always been one of his favourites, even when he'd been a small boy at Edea's orphanage, and it pained the Headmaster to see the complete stranger he'd become. His eyes were glassy and glittering unnaturally. He was high as a kite, and reeked of rum. He had his gunblade out, and was wildly waving it around, causing people nearby to gasp and have to jump out of the way, especially Cid. It was a miracle he could even hold the thing in his current state.

"I'm not some fucking charity case, especially some pathetic, spineless pussy like you."

"You need help," Cid said lowly.

"Not from you," Squall hissed, a few drops of spittle flying from his lips and hitting Cid in the cheek. He waved his gunblade to emphasize his words. Cid had to take a large step back. "I don't need a goddamn thing from any of you." He waved his gunblade towards the crowd, his gestures and voice full of distain. "Looking down on me like you're all so fucking amazing."

"Squall!" Rinoa exclaimed, coming down the hall. A uniformed SeeD was in tow. They must have gone to find her, hoping she could calm her boyfriend down. "What are you _doing_?"

"Oh, look! It's Miss Perfect herself!" Squall exclaimed, laughing cruelly at the shocked look on her pretty face. "You and Cid are exactly the same. You plan out my entire life without even thinking of asking me what I WANT!" He shouted in her face.

She reared her head back. The rum smell on his breath was so overpowering, Rinoa could have gotten drunk off the fumes alone. "Squall, you're not yourself. You don't mean what you're saying right now." Rinoa grabbed his wrist, and started to try and get him to let go of his gunblade.

"Like hell I don't. Everyone pushed you on me, you know?"

"Squall, please..." Rinoa's cheeks were turning bright red from mortification.

"_Squall, pleassseeee_," he mocked meanly.

"That's enough," she said coldly, starting to get angry. She looked quite imposing, actually. Magic started to fill her skin. "You're embarrassing yourself."

"...Whatever," he slurred. "Just leave me the fuck alone."

"Squall," she said, lowering her voice. "I think you should go back to rehab."

"I don't give a fuck about your opinion. And, you know what?" He asked, talking so manically and quickly he was barely understandable. "I've always wanted to tell you this!" He exclaimed, walking backwards and stumbling. His gunblade nearly flew out of his hand, and a young SeeD had to jump out of the way to avoid being dissected. "I really, really hate _Eyes On Me_."

"Squall, stop it!" Zell exclaimed as Squall turned his back on the Sorceress.

Squall shoved Zell out of the way, banging into a wall when he lost his footing. Xu murmured to Luchia and Astor, who stepped forward under her orders to escort Squall out as members of the revamped Garden Disciplinary Committee.

"Come along," Astor said as if speaking to a child. He put his hand around Squall's emaciated bicep to lead him down the hall.

"Don't fucking touch me!" He snapped. "I don't need to be escorted out. I want to leave." He saluted the crowd by giving them the finger, and stumbled towards the elevator. Nobody stopped him.

"Aren't you going to go after him?" Nida asked of Quistis after Squall had disappeared in the descending elevator.

Quistis was looking across the hall at Xu, who was staring right back at her, looking like she'd been slapped across the face. Quistis didn't understand why Xu looked so hurt and horrified.

"Quistis?" Nida asked, putting a gentle hand on her shoulder to get her attention.

Her sapphire eyes briefly looked over to Nida, and it clicked in a moment of horror. Nida's lips held the tint of Quistis's lipstick, and it must have been smeared on her own mouth.

"Aren't you going to go after him?" Nida asked again.

"No," Quistis answered sadly as Xu turned her back and went into her office, followed closely by Luchia and Astor. "No... I'm not."

---

"What are you doing here?" Was the icy question that Seifer asked when he came home from a kill for the Solar System. Seeing Squall standing in the hallway with his forehead pressed against the wall as if it was the only thing holding him up wasn't what Seifer wanted to see right now.

Squall was surprised by the sound of Seifer's voice. A large half-empty bottle of rum was dangling from his hand. His eyes looked glassy and manic, and Seifer was taken aback by how wrecked the other man looked. It was obvious that he was high as a kite. "I wanted to see you." His voice was like a stranger's, fast and high-pitched from the drugs.

"I don't want to see you," Seifer answered coldly. The look in his eyes was that of the Seifer who'd given Squall the scar between his eyebrows.

"Seifer..." Squall began, tripping over even those easy syllables, syllables as familiar to him as his own name. He started sniffling, and wiped his nose with the back of his hand. There was a glistening smear on his black gloves from a nosebleed.

"Go home, Squall," Seifer snapped, pulling out his keys.

"I don't have a home anymore," Squall whispered, pinching his nose and snorting inward to try and stop the blood flow. It eventually worked.

Seifer's green eyes narrowed. Even when he tried to close his heart away, Squall always found a way to get in deep. Even when he was suffering from a cokehead nosebleed. "What are you talking about?"

"Can I please just come in?" Squall asked, wrapping his lips around the mouth of his rum bottle and taking a hefty swig.

Seifer didn't answer as he unlocked the door. He started to close it after himself, but Squall stuck his foot out to keep it from closing, then squeezed his thin body through the open crack. Seifer must not have been trying very hard to close the door, because Squall wasn't at his strongest, and had lost a lot of his muscle mass.

"What do you _want_?" Seifer demanded again, throwing his gym bag on the floor. He tried not to wince when there was a loud metallic clang from gun parts clashing together, but Squall was too high to notice. "And, what do you mean, you don't have a home?"

"I kinda... got escorted out of Garden," Squall answered, mumbling around the bottle as he drank deeply. "Cid is such a patronizing piece of shit. Garden would be gone if it weren't for me."

Seifer just raised his eyebrows. "If you say so. Can't you just go to Esthar?"

There was a brief glimmer of the old Squall in his glassy blue eyes, whites beyond bloodshot. Seifer could see shame there. He didn't want to go to Esthar and face Laguna, because deep down, he knew he was out of control, and he couldn't stop himself. That he couldn't fix this on his own anymore.

"Are you trying to get rid of me?"

"Yes," Seifer answered truthfully.

"Why? Is Ivan coming over?" Squall asked, voice all poison. He started searching his pockets, feeling himself coming down hard. His whole body felt like lead, and everything was too real and heavy and painful.

"No." Seifer left it at that. He was feeling petty, and didn't want to tell Squall that he was single once more. But, the tone of his voice told Squall the truth, even in his current mental state.

"Really?" It was pretty hard to contain his pleasure. He reached for Seifer and started to run his hands down the hard planes of the taller man's chest, but Seifer slapped his hands away.

"Don't even fucking think about it."

"As if you _aren't_ thinking about it." Squall stepped forward again, and started to pull Seifer's lightweight black sweater up, revealing a tantalizing glimpse of lightly tanned stomach. Right now, Squall craved more of that flesh than he did cocaine.

"You're too drunk," Seifer noted, pushing the other man away hard. He could feel himself starting to give in. _You weak, stupid fucking bastard._

"I know what I'm doing!" Squall exclaimed, indignant.

"No, I don't think you do." Those words held more gravity than just a comment about the situation at hand.

"Oh, fuck you!" Squall shouted, throwing his empty bottle. It hit a wall and smashed, spraying glass all over the place. "You know who you sound like? You fucking sound like Cid. How I'm lost and I need help. I'm not lost!" He ranted, shoving past Seifer and collapsing on the threadbare couch. "Squall was lost before, doing whatever everyone else wanted without question. But now I fucking do whatever _I_ want!" He pinched the bridge of his nose. He was crashing, and his head was rapidly and awesomely starting to pound. "I have to be a good SeeD. I have to be the perfect fairytale for Rinoa. I have to be her Knight. I have to be the good son. I have to smile and wave as they take my fucking picture wherever I go and plaster it all over the place with whatever fucking story they want to write!" He lolled over, pressing his face into a pillow. Colour was starting to smear, and anything red was making his eyes burn. Even with his lids slammed shut and his face in the pillow, he could still see a book on Seifer's shelf with a red spine, like it had been branded into his eye.

"This is what you want? Seriously?"

Squall groaned. Seifer's voice was one of his favourite sounds in the whole world, but right now it was causing him excruciating pain. He could feel the couch dip as Seifer sat down beside him.

"You overcompensated, and went too far. Way, way, wayyyy too far. Ridiculously so." His voice became soft and quiet, more emotional than it had been in days. "You let your dreams and your vision of yourself become warped, and you think you can't go back to the way things used to be. You look at the ruin you've become, and realize you're stuck here, so you may as well just fucking accept it." He was now talking to himself more than he was talking to Squall. "Like a coward."

Squall rocked his weight so he was leaning against Seifer now instead of the pillow, but he still kept his eyes closed. It felt like if he opened them, his eyeballs would stream down his face like pure liquid. Seifer smelled really, really nice. His cologne invoked the musky smell of a dense forest. Squall breathed it in, and it made him feel lighter than he had in recent memory. He pressed his face into Seifer's neck, obscenely breathing in as his hand started to travel. He found Seifer's lap, and when his hand squeezed the other man's genitals through his pants, Seifer stifled a gasp, the touch surprising him since he'd been so lost in his own head.

His own words were heavy in his heart, and made him feel very foolish, as if he could feel even stupider about anything he'd done in his life up to this point. He _was_ a coward. He'd let himself be so bamboozled by his stupid 'romantic dream' that he'd followed Ultimecia to truly insane places, and he was still doing it. He'd just killed someone. A person he'd never met, a person who had absolutely nothing to do with him. For what? Money? Seifer didn't even really care about that. He never spent any of it. Joy? He certainly didn't get any pleasure from it. Because he was a faceless, dutiful soldier, still blindly following Ultimecia's orders, ruining his own life to do so. He _liked_ studying snakes and tonberrys. He loved it, and here he was, destroying it. Skipping classes and fobbing off assignments because he didn't see the point in pretending to be a functioning member of society. Says who? The tabloids? Ultimecia? She was dead, so why was he giving her so much power?

Squall's touch interrupted all of this, and Seifer knew he should have forcibly removed Squall's hand from there, but he didn't want to. He knew the real Squall Leonhart, _his_ Squall Leonhart was still in there somewhere, and Seifer yearned to be with that Squall. To find him and bring him back. To look into his ocean blue eyes and see that sweet and wonderfully shy vulnerability masked under a layer of winter ice, letting only the people closest to him see it. The Squall that didn't need to open himself up for the whole world to see, every second of the day. He'd lost that when everyone had forced him to open up about every little feeling, how Rinoa had wanted his heart on his sleeve just like hers was, being as emotionally gregarious as she was. It wasn't really her fault, though. Squall had let himself get lost in that level of emotionality, and hadn't been able to stay being Squall while still letting people in. He'd tried too hard to become what people thought Squall Leonhart should have been, instead of what he really was. An asshole? Yeah, sometimes. An Ice Queen? Most definitely. And, utterly, fiercely caring and sensitive at his core.

Seifer turned his head, his cheek brushing against Squall's. His eyes were closed, and his face was free of emotion. He looked like he was in deep thought, just like Seifer. Seifer really missed that old Squall, and it felt like he was looking at him right now, drowning but trying to pull himself to the surface again. Blood started to flow southward as Squall started to unzip Seifer's pants, and the blonde's heart started beating faster with more than sexual lust as he leaned in further, and kissed Squall's lips. He tasted like rum and blood, but under that, Seifer could taste the Squall he'd tasted the day of their first kiss. The Squall he'd fallen in love with. He couldn't even remember how he'd fallen for Squall, but he couldn't remember a time where he didn't feel it.

Squall's hand encircled the thickening shaft of Seifer's penis, and started stroking it slowly, testing Seifer's reaction. Would he push Squall away again, or welcome it? When Seifer's tongue gently pushed past his lips, Squall felt a swoop like he'd suddenly lost a sense of gravity. Seifer's hands were on the sides of his neck, warm and firm and strong and so familiar. His feeling of dizziness became even more pronounced as Seifer's thumbs stroked his cheeks. It seemed such an intimate gesture for something so simple. They broke the kiss at the same time, sharing one of those moments of perfect mental wavelength that they so frequently shared. They started kissing each other's faces and necks, Squall deeply breathing in that wonderful woodsy smell of Seifer's cologne, engraining it in his memory. He could have just rested his cheek against Seifer's neck forever, but the desire for that wasn't nearly as great as his desire to taste the pulse of Seifer's cock against his tongue.

He started pulling on Seifer's penis harder, quickly sliding down, still a little afraid that Seifer would stop this whole thing. He heard the other man stifle a small gasp when Squall quickly swallowed the head of his cock. Buried under his lust and perpetual drunkenness, Squall felt a measure of guilt. The last time he'd given head had been as payment for an 8-ball of cocaine. And, here he was, touching Seifer in the most personal of ways, and it was _still_ sneaking around. He still hadn't told Rinoa the truth. Would he ever...?

Squall did what he did best, and ignored his inner voice. He wanted to concentrate on tasting every inch of Seifer. Why would he want to think about anything else when he had the world's most perfect cock in his mouth? He tasted precum when his tongue probed the slit. Seifer's hand was warm on the small of his back as it worked up underneath his shirt, stroking bare fingers against bare skin. Squall stroked the shaft with a firm hand, slowly sucking on Seifer's left testicle, then his right. His other hand slid across the couch cushions, and found one of Seifer's hands. Their fingers twined together, holding onto each other like a vice.

Seifer closed his eyes and sunk into the couch. It was in the back of his mind that Squall's fellatio technique seemed more... practiced than the last time he'd experienced it. Seifer wasn't naïve, and could accurately guess how that came to be. It didn't so much anger him as it did gravely concern him. If Squall didn't get help soon, there would be no turning back. All these worried thoughts left his mind in a single flash when he felt wet heat enveloping his cock again in a swift, dizzying motion. He arched his hips off the couch when he felt a tightness starting to grow in his pelvis. He might have been whispering Squall's name, but the way Squall's throat and tongue were working his erection made it hard for Seifer to think of anything else. His finger squeezed around Squall's hand when an orgasm moved up his spine like a hot wave, pinpricks of colour flashing under his eyelids.

He could feel Squall sliding up his body and straddling his lap as he kept his eyes closed, enjoying the aftershocks still moving up his spine. One hand was moving up under his shirt, and the other was slowly stroking the veins of his sensitive penis, still glistening with Squall's saliva. He slowly moved his fingers up Squall's back, blindly tracing the now-bony lines of his shoulders, finding Squall's silken hair. Squall made a contented purr as Seifer's fingers massaged his scalp, the sound vibrating against the blonde's throat as Squall kissed down the front of it. He grinned into Seifer's Adam's apple when he felt his penis growing hard again. He started to shed his clothes with great efficiency, pulling a condom from his pants pocket before dropping them to the floor.

Seifer half-opened his eyes as Squall straddled him again, now completely naked. His body was a lot skinnier than it had been before, and worry dulled the edge of his lust. Squall must have noticed, because his scarred brow contracted and he leaned into Seifer's chest, his bloodshot ocean blue eyes meeting Seifer's own. He didn't want to see that look in Seifer's eyes - such concern. It made him feel like he really was completely fucked. Especially when right now, all he could notice was how Seifer's eyes were a very similar colour to absinthe. It was so similar that Squall could practically taste the green liquor, instead of the taste of Seifer's semen still hanging on his tongue. He kissed, or rather assaulted, Seifer's mouth with his own, desperately wanting to taste him again, and ignore his growing, gnawing craving for more alcohol.

Seifer's brain tried to start to argue when Squall slipped a condom over his reappearing erection. _This will end badly, you know? He's only using you. You think that he actually kares about you? That he what?_ His inner voice, which still sounded like Ultimecia, then laughed. _What? He loves you? If this is love, why does it feel so shameful?_

All his inner thoughts vanished like he'd immediately gone deaf when he felt tight heat suddenly surrounding his cock. Squall had taken all of Seifer into him with one lowering of his hips, eased only by his own spit and whatever lubricant was on the condom. Squall's forehead was creased with pain, but there was a small smile on his shaking lips. Squall pressed his forehead to Seifer's, looking into his eyes as the pleasure from the painful penetration washed through his body like a hot wave. He couldn't have stopped the small pants and moans that were already falling from his throat even if he'd wanted to. He bit his lip as he rolled his hips, smiling fully when he heard Seifer's breath catch. When Seifer's strong arms wrapped around his slender waist, crushing their chests together, Squall coiled his internal muscles around the erection within him. The utterly masculine noise it caused Seifer to make made Squall's head spin. He ran his hands up Seifer's back, lightly sheened with sweat, stroking and feeling and caressing the hard, muscular lines.

Their eyes never wavered from each other when Seifer's arms held Squall tighter, and his hips thrust up against Squall's pelvis. Squall groaned, then breathlessly demanded "harder." Looking into Squall's eyes like this - eyes that were so hollow and bloodshot yet still that familiar, cold and perfect blue - he wouldn't have been able to refuse Squall anything. Especially not something like that. Something that he wanted as desperately as someone drowning would want air. The noise Squall made when Seifer thrust against him again, harder than before, was heaven. "Harder," Squall demanded again, this time with more authority. Seifer did, which made Squall moan a little louder, and say "harder" again.

The blonde man then caught Squall up in a fierce embrace, holding him tight enough to take his breath away, and rolled them over so Squall was pinned underneath him on the sofa. He firmly held Squall's hips, and started thrusting into him hard and fast. Squall's legs were wrapped around his upper torso like a vice, and he thrust back with as much force as Seifer was giving him. Squall couldn't remember the last time he'd moaned like this, the last time he'd felt like this. He and Rinoa hadn't been together for quite a while, and most of his other sexual encounters were so faceless, and he was too drunk or high to remember anything about them. But, this... This felt so fucking right. This was where Squall belonged. He could feel precum leaking onto his stomach, being smeared around from the friction of Seifer's abdomen against his own. Heat shot up his spine with each hard thrust, and his vocal reactions got louder and louder.

Squall's hands slipped off Seifer's back when the taller man rose up from his bowed position. He roughly grabbed Squall's hips, and started drilling him almost ruthlessly. He normally wouldn't have been so forceful with the way his pelvis was slapping against Squall's, but he knew Squall could not only take it, but that he wanted it like this. And... maybe he wanted to hurt him a little, too. Maybe he wanted Squall to feel a measure of pain, because Seifer had felt more than his fair share of it because of the other man. True enough though he'd caused just as much in return. Seifer looked down at his partner, and came to the conclusion that he _really_ was over thinking at this moment, and he should just enjoy himself.

Squall flung his arm across his eyes and just let Seifer do whatever he wanted. He was too completely lost in pleasure to keep up with even simple motor functions. All he could feel besides his muscles turning to heavenly jelly under his skin, was Seifer inside him like a hard piston. He wasn't even sure what he was saying, if he was even saying anything at all. He didn't even feel like he was laying on a threadbare couch. He was floating away, he was warm with bliss, and he was home. His liquefied muscles were starting to tense as orgasm approached. He turned his head, sweaty cheek gliding against his equally sweaty shoulder, and he let out a small gasp as his testicles pulled up against his body. His body was being lifted off the couch with each thrust, and when he came, it was like a powerful Flare spell had been cast in his lower back, and was burning its way up his body.

What brought Seifer to orgasm only moments later wasn't the feeling of Squall's rectal muscles constricting around his erection, or the heat of his insides gripping and relinquishing as Seifer thrust in and out of the other man's body, but it was the noises that Squall made as he came. Pure and utter vulnerable joy. Seifer's weight collapsed on top of Squall, limbs tangled everywhere, and he was breathing heavily into Squall's sweaty hair as he felt his own ejaculation, hot and sticky on his cock, trapped in the condom. He could feel Squall's pulse racing, and could practically feel his heart racing in his skinny chest.

Squall was kind of being suffocated under Seifer's weight, but he didn't care. He wearily wrapped his legs around Seifer's waist, and stroked his still-shaking fingers through his closely cropped blonde hair. He didn't want to say anything, or even move so he could look into the other man's eyes. It would ruin the moment, and he was kind of afraid of Seifer's reaction. Would he remember that he was supposed to be mad? Everyone always accused Squall of being an ice queen, and he could even admit that it was true. However, when Seifer was angry, he could hold a grudge until the end of time, and his iciness would put a Trabian winter to shame. Maybe Seifer was concerned about it too, because his cheek stayed resting on Squall's chest, and he didn't move to look up. He seemed content to do as Squall did - just lay there, bodies mingling together.

Squall was startled by a noise, and when he sat up, it was with complete confusion. Which was actually a familiar feeling to him these days. He often woke up not knowing where he was or how he got there. He was in a dim, vaguely familiar bedroom, and realized it was Seifer's. They must have fallen asleep on the couch after sex, and Seifer had brought him in here. The other man was laying next to him, face smooth and serene with sleep.

Squall rubbed his eyes, his stomach gnawing painfully, crying out for a drink and a line of cocaine. It was such a strong desire that his extremities were numb with it. He realized he'd been woken up because of a ringing. It was his phone. He looked around blearily for the source of the noise, which was coming from the small pile of his clothes that had also travelled into the bedroom from the living room. He stumbled out of the bed, cursing when his hip bumped the nightstand. Seifer stirred, but didn't wake up. He rummaged in his pants for his phone, which had the ringtone of _Eyes On Me_. Squall didn't have the heart to tell Rinoa that he was really beginning to despise the song that had made her mother famous, and was supposed to be _their_ song, and didn't have the backbone to change it after she'd taken it upon herself to make that song play every time someone called him. It really said a lot about their relationship. And, then he remembered that he _did_ tell her he hated it. In front of half of Garden in a drunken rage.

He looked at the caller ID, and saw it was indeed his so-called girlfriend. His stomach sank. Okay, it was time to come clean. He flipped open the phone and crept out of the bedroom so he wouldn't disturb Seifer. "Hello?" He asked, his voice sounding shockingly hollow in his own ears.

"Squall? Oh, thank Hyne! Where are you?" Rinoa breathed, her anxiety coming through clearly. "Are you okay?" Her voice was so full of sweet, unconditional concern.

Squall opened his mouth, but hesitated. How could he tell her the truth over the phone? How could he tell her the truth period? How could he be hurting her like this? She was his girlfriend, his Sorceress, and he her Knight. He was supposed to protect her at all costs. He was supposed to be ever-loyal to her. He was supposed to love her. And, he did love her. "Oh... I'm in Timber," he lied, closing his eyes.

"Timber?" Rinoa echoed. "What are you doing there?"

In the bedroom, Seifer had indeed been woken up, despite Squall's efforts to keep his voice barely above a whisper. But, it hadn't been the phone ringing, or Squall banging into the nightstand that had broken his sleep. It had been some sort of bad feeling deep inside him. Bad enough that he'd felt on the verge of throwing up. It hadn't been a nightmare or anything like that. He could hear Squall's voice wafting from the hallway. His euphoria at having Squall with him again in the most intimate way possible vanished even before he overheard Squall's lie. The sick feeling was almost like his connection with Squall, so mystic and unexplainable, had told him something like this was going to happen.

"Oh... I'm in Timber," Squall's voice murmured, a knife in Seifer's heart. He sat up, and could only shake his head at himself, a bitter smirk on his mouth. How could he have been so stupid? How could he have let this happen again?

"I think you should come back," Rinoa told him. "I think you should listen to Cid, and go back into rehab. He's really worried about you, you know? We all are."

"I don't need to go back to rehab," Squall muttered testily. His mind was starting to wander, thinking about the vial of white powder in one of his jacket pockets. God, he wanted a bump so bad right now. He was dizzy with the need for it, the addiction.

"Squall, please... I don't want to argue. I just... I _miss you_," she emphasized, her voice soothing and loving, and it reminded Squall why he fell for her in the first place. "Please come home."

"Home?" He echoed. Was Garden really his home anymore. "How's Quistis?" He asked. He remembered that his last words with his best friend had been kinda tense.

" ...fine, I guess." Rinoa's tone cooled quite a bit. "Why?"

"Oh, my God," he hissed, his body shaking , wanting a fix terribly. "Not this again..." He was about to start telling Rinoa off for her stupidity where Quisty was concerned, but his voice trailed off when he saw Seifer walking past him, fully dressed.

"You don't have to snap at me." Rinoa's voice was tinny and far away as Squall watched Seifer pull a coat from the closet, and put it on like it was the most normal thing in the world for him to be leaving right now. "And, you really need to get in rehab. Why are you in Timber? What are you doing right now anyway?"

"What am I doing?" Squall echoed. Seifer hesitated as he pulled up the zipper of his motorcycle jacket, and their eyes met. " ...Nothing," he answered. Where was that surety he'd felt while making love with Seifer? Where was that sense that he was where he belonged? Where was his fucking backbone?!

"Are you drunk? Scoring more drugs?" She demanded, starting to get more hysterical. In Balamb, she could feel magic working through her arms, making them like lead. Tears pooled under her thick lashes as she desperately tried to control it. Selphie was sitting on her bed beside her, and what if something bad happened again? "Squall..." She breathed out, trying to regain control of herself. "Please, just come back. I need you. I... I can't control myself as well when you're not around! I want you to get better! I want us to be the way we were before!"

"I have to go," Squall answered, panic growing in him as Seifer pulled out his keys. He snapped the phone shut

"Squall!" Rinoa shouted, knowing a brush-off when she heard one. The dial tone was her only response. She slowly closed her phone, Selphie's hand comforting on her shoulder. She looked at it, the screen saying 'call ended'. She pursed her shaking lips, and threw her phone against the wall in a fit, pieces of it flying everywhere.

"Where are you going?" Squall asked, reaching out and grabbing Seifer's arm. When their eyes met again, Squall dropped his hand like he'd been burned. "I couldn't tell her over the phone!" He exclaimed.

"You're such a fucking liar," Seifer answered, voice completely void of affection, familiarity, and even anger. It was cold, robotic. Inhuman. "But, I blame myself for believing you this time."

"Seifer..."

"I'm going out to run some errands. If you're here when I get back, I'm calling the police."

"I'll tell her!"

"No," Seifer replied as if it were the simplest thing in the world. He opened the door. "You treat me like a whore. I don't want to hear from you ever again, Squall."

"Seifer, please..."

"You're sweating. You look like you need a fix. I flushed your cocaine down the toilet, but I'm sure you can find some pretty easily."

"Seifer..." Squall protested, his throat burning with tears. "I'm sorry."

"I don't want to hear it. You don't have to bother locking up." He closed the door behind him, leaving Squall painfully alone.

"Seifer!" He shouted. He wanted to go running after him, but he was standing there stark naked, and he _knew_ the look in Seifer's eyes. He'd meant every word. He _would_ call the police if Squall didn't leave. He _didn't_ want to hear from Squall again. Squall had just lost him. "Seifer!" He shouted again through the door, knowing that he was already gone. He tried to stop the tears from flowing, but they were coming hard and fast, and all Squall could do was sink down to the floor, hands sliding against the door.

He waited for the tears to stop before dragging himself back into the bedroom to get his clothes. He didn't want to look at the bed. How could he? It was the last place he would have ever been so close to Seifer. It was the last place he would have ever felt his breath so close, felt the nearness of his warmth. Still shaking and panting, he pulled on his clothes, one article at a time, knowing the very first place he would go would be to the nearest liquor store. He needed to dull this horrible ache, not just in his heart, but in his entire body.

When Squall closed Seifer's door behind him, he felt like he was going to break down again. He bit his lip hard, and started the slow, shameful walk down the hall. He looked up when another apartment door opened, and Ivan appeared, cocking his head as he regarded Squall, seemingly not surprised to see him there.

"Hello, Squall. I heard shouting," Ivan murmured, looking Squall up and down. It was obvious he was in a bad way.

Squall stared at the tall, exotic-looking man, wanting to hate him so fucking badly, but hating himself more. "He's all yours again."

"He was never mine."

Squall started to slink away again, but stopped. In this rare moment of ugly, painful clarity and sobriety, he noticed an aura coming off Ivan for the first time. It made him stop and look at Ivan fully. It was a feeling he knew intimately, a feeling he would never forget, and he'd experienced twice in his life before. The first time had been when he was fifteen, walking along Balamb Town's harbour. He'd seen a child sitting on the edge of the dock, merrily fishing. He'd looked over his shoulder and smiled at Squall, the sunlight going right through him like stained glass. When he'd turned his cherubic face back to the water, he'd disappeared. The second time had been in Winhill, when he'd first set food in the pub that had once belonged to Raine. He would never forget that feeling, because he'd felt it the first time he'd ever seen his mother. And, he felt it now when he looked at Ivan. Like he was looking at something supernatural. Like he was looking at a ghost.

And, the way Ivan looked back at him, it was like he knew _exactly_ what Squall was thinking. Squall's belief in ghosts, and the way he seemed to feel them acutely even when someone standing next to him might not have seen anything, was something he always felt a little embarrassed about, and had never really discussed with anyone. Not with Seifer, Rinoa or his father. Not even with Quistis. Maybe he thought they'd think he was being silly. Well, maybe Laguna wouldn't since he believed in some pretty stupid stuff. Or, maybe seeing Raine had been such a personal experience that he didn't want to share it with anyone.

Squall stared at Ivan hard, thinking this feeling must be some hallucination his body was coming up with because it wanted to get wasted so bad. It's not like Ivan was translucent. He was obviously there. Squall had seen people shake his hand at Elle's wedding. He'd seen Seifer kiss him. He started to walk away again, looking over his shoulder as he went into the stairwell. What made him look away was the glimmer of pity he saw in Ivan's black, black eyes. He didn't need pity, especially not from _him._ He didn't need pity from anyone. He just needed to get to the bottom of a rum bottle as quickly as possible.

---

Quistis tapped her foot impatiently against the ornate carpet, arms crossed in an angry, defensive position. She could hear people tittering as they went past, and she was just getting fucking sick of it. She always thought of Garden as home, as a sanctuary, but now she just hated every second of being here. But, where else would she go? She was waiting outside Nida's office for him to return from a meeting, and then she saw him walking up the hallway towards him, her stomach swooped. Not in the same way it usually did when she saw him, but in ill disgust.

"Quistis, hi!" He greeted, pleased to see the object of his affection. She'd been avoiding him since their kiss in his office. The smile on his angular face wilted when he saw how pissed off she looked, how her sapphire eyes blazed from behind her glasses that he found so attractive. "Uh... what's up?"

"You _bragged_ about landing me?" She hissed, not bothering with familiarities.

"Wha...?"

"It's all over fucking Garden about how you fucked the resident slut in your office!"

Nida had been in Balamb Town for a day meeting with a client, so hadn't heard this mystery rumour that had Quistis so worked up. "Quisty, I don't know what you're talking about." He put a hand on her shoulder. "What exactly are..."

She interrupted him by shrugging his touch away. "I actually believed you were different, not just some dickhead who only cares about a conquest, then bragging about it to all his stupid friends. And, it's costing me the only friend I have left."

Nida blinked his warm brown eyes, utterly confused. "I don't know what the hell you're talking about. I didn't go around bragging. You know I wouldn't do that! I'm your friend."

"There's a lot of people who've said that to me, and wound up not meaning it."

"Wait, wait. Is this about Xu? Is she the one who told you this?"

"Of course she did. She's the only one who's standing by me now."

Nida's expression cooled rapidly. "Is she making you feel guilty about our kiss?"

"I don't need anyone to make me feel guilty about betraying her."

"Betraying her?" Nida exclaimed, voice rising. He laughed bitterly. "Maybe you shouldn't take Xu's word as gospel."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You don't find it odd that she's so upset about her so-called best friend finding someone she likes, and is so hung up on me, even though I've told her point blank _several_ times that I don't think of her that way? And, the fact that she seems to be forgetting that she's got a boyfriend that she's also _supposed_ to care about very much?"

"It's complicated..." Quistis argued.

"No, it's not."

"Shut up about Xu!" She snapped. "Can you please just... stop? Just leave me alone, okay?" She walked away from his office door, kind of hoping that he would call after her, stop her. But, he didn't.

Xu looked up from the forms she was signing and filling out. They were stacking up quicker and quicker. Cid was giving her more to do, except he still didn't want to make her Headmaster. Even after all the work she did for him. Garden would fall apart without her, and he still had his eye on Quistis? At least Squall wasn't a possibility for the job anymore. How could he be after his drunken outburst? Cid was so fucking incompetent that not only couldn't he run Garden, but he also couldn't see the real talent right in front of his fucking face.

And, she didn't have time to do his work as well as hers. Not to mention all the extra work she was putting in trying to break the silence of the Solar System. She had a file on every murder she guessed could be awarded to them. It was getting larger by the week, and now took up two whole drawers in one of her filing cabinets. She'd tried to hire SeeD to infiltrate the assassins cell, and to order fake hits, but the mysterious Sol never seemed to take the bait. It was like he knew ahead of time. Did he have a spy in SeeD? Was he SeeD himself? Even when she used freshly graduated cadets, they couldn't come up with anything.

When she heard a gentle knock on her door, she rolled her eyes behind her glasses. Another visit from Zell. He had his uses, but he was really starting to get on her nerves. He was always underfoot, like an annoying, hyperactive dog. "Come in," she called, putting on a falsely cheery face, thinking about the day in the very near future when she could greet Nida in her Headmaster office, and he would smile brightly and come to her, giving her a soft, loving kiss.

Her mood soured even more when it was Quistis. The person she wanted to see even less than Zell. Her fucking lipstick all over Nida's lips. Why couldn't she just be with Squall like she was supposed to?! They could be friends again if only she'd do what she was supposed to. If only she wasn't being handed everything that Xu ever wanted in life.

"Hi..." Quistis trailed off. She could feel Xu's icy aura across the dimly lit office. Instead of looking at her friend's face, her sapphire eyes concentrated on the shadowboxes full of dead, pinned butterflies. "Can... can we talk?" She asked, voice shaking. Xu was the only friend she had left. To lose that would be devastating.

"About what?" Xu asked coldly, going back to her papers. She knew Quistis well enough to feel the guilt wafting off her like a cheap perfume, but let her squirm.

"I just really want to apologize about Nida." Quistis stood with unnatural stiffness. "And, I swear it won't happen again. You're my best friend, Xu. I won't let any man ruin that."

Xu took off her glasses, and folded them before putting them neatly on the desk before her. "Oh, Quisty!" She got up and went across the room. "I'm sorry if I made you feel bad," she murmured, pouring on the charm. "It's just... oh, I can't help still carrying a torch for Nida."

"I know," Quistis mumbled into her chest, unable to look Xu in the face. "I am so, so sorry." She was blinded by her own tears.

"I know you are," Xu whispered benevolently, collecting her friend into a comforting embrace. How badly that word described what feelings Xu felt for the woman she was hugging. She couldn't ever remember 'hating' Quistis, but yet she was doing things that would be done out of hatred. But, they were out of necessity. To made Cid see what was good for Garden. Quistis would bounce back eventually, when things were settled and Xu was in the Headmaster's chair, where she belonged. Xu would let Quistis come back as a teacher. It was what she always wanted. "I'm really sorry for getting angry."

"It's okay." Quistis brushed away tears, face reddening in mortification. How many times in the past year had she cried on Xu's shoulder?

"Did you wind up confronting Nida about spreading rumours, like you said?" Xu asked, handing the blonde woman a tissue. She'd encouraged this action quite eagerly.

Quistis nodded glumly. "Turned into a fight. He was probably lying. Or, maybe he just thought I wouldn't care, seeing what other stuff everyone around her says about me. I guess he's just like all the others." She sighed, thinking of Zell, Selphie, and especially Rinoa. "I'm really glad you told me, though. You're the only person now who would... care enough about me to."

"What about Squall?" Xu asked carefully.

Quistis laughed bitterly. "Squall? All he cares about is getting high. No... I can't rely on Squall for anything anymore. He's too busy lying to himself, and drowning that denial in alcohol and white powder."

"Lying to himself? About what?" Xu's interest always rose dramatically whenever Quistis would talk about Squall's personal problems. If there was anything she could find out that would ruin Garden's golden boy for good...

"Never mind," was Quistis's evasive reply. The same answer she always gave. As greatly as she valued Xu's friendship, she still wouldn't betray Squall, no matter how much he was destroying himself. Maybe that was part of the problem, though. He needed those secrets to come out... "And, I can't seem to get ahold of Seifer anymore. It's like he's ditched me, too."

Xu's interest died. "Uh huh."

"Fujin says he's slowly cutting himself off from her and Raijin, too. I wonder what happened he was doing so well."

"Uh huh," Xu muttered again. Seifer Almasy was a subject she did not wish to discuss.

"But, it's not like he would tell me. Or anyone. Seifer's the only person I know who's as emotionally stubborn as Squall. Maybe that's why they're so good together," she muttered under her breath.

"Huh?"

"Nothing. Look, we okay?"

Xu nodded. Her eyes were full of warmth, even though her heart was full of ice. "Do you even have to ask?"

---

"Would you two just stop hovering?" Squall shouted. He was sitting in a darkened study somewhere in the palace. There were books all around him, popping out of every shelf. Maybe this was someone's office. He didn't even know how he'd gotten to this room, and didn't really care.

Laguna and Ellone shared a look from the doorway, their frames silhouetted from the brighter lights in the hall. Laguna snapped on the study lights, Squall groaning and burying his face in his arms, flopped down on the large desk that was the focal point of the room. Esthar really wasn't Squall's first choice of destinations, but he really did have nowhere else to go.

Ellone shook her head and looked up to the ceiling. She was biting back some harsh words, and it was warring for her genuine fear for Squall's safety. He reeked of alcohol, and the desk was littered with empty bottles. Not to mention that he didn't even look like himself anymore. He would have fit right in with some hopeless junkie living in one of Deling City's gutters, forgotten by the entire world. The kind of person nobody cared about, not even when they died.

"Hyne, Squall..." Laguna sighed and started sweeping the bottles away. "I've spoken to one of the administrators at the rehab center. You know that he'd be willing to let you back in..."

"Laguna," Squall interrupted, voice cracking under the weight of his crashing and burning. He needed some cocaine _badly_, but his father and sister were watching him like hawks. And, it was hard for him to be stealthy and try to sneak away from them when he was completely shit-faced all the time. "Just. Don't."

"I called Rinoa."

"Fucking hell, Laguna! I told you I didn't want to see her!" Squall jumped out of his chair, and stumbled. He smashed into the desk, and had to scramble to stay on his feet. He eventually got a clawing grip on the drapes, nearly pulling them off the wall.

Laguna put his fist to his mouth, feeling a large lump inside his throat. "Squall, she's your girlfriend."

"Says who? We barely see each other, and fucking fight the entire time." Squall had to wipe some drool off his chin. His eyes were manic and shining like mirrors, and he was starting to pant. "I fucking told you it was over! Why can't you accept that?!" He was practically screaming now. Deep down, he knew he was screaming at himself, telling himself what the rest of him kept trying to ignore. Laguna was just a convenient sounding board.

"Just stop it!" Ellone exclaimed. "Don't take it out on Uncle Laguna."

"She is so worried about you, Squall. So am I. I'm worried that the next time I'll see you, you'll be in a coffin. She loves you very much and wants to be here for you!" Laguna spread his arms out in urgency. "You need people you love around you right now."

Squall closed his eyes, and thought of how Seifer had kissed him only the day before. Of how his weight had felt on top of Squall. The coldness in his peridot eyes, and the frigid rejection, one that he'd seriously meant. "And, who says that's Rinoa?"

"Squall..."

"Stop trying to push her on me!" Squall stumbled and fell to his knees. He had to use the desk to right himself. Laguna started to go over to help him, but Ellone grabbed his arm to stop him, shaking her head. When Squall was standing upright again, his cheeks were flushed bright pink, and he was sweating. "Stop trying to live vicariously through me!" He shouted. His voice was now obscenely loud as he stood chest-to-chest with his father.

"Squall..."

"Stop making some fucking fairy tale for me and Rinoa, just because you never got to be with the woman you wanted!" He was jabbing his finger roughly in Laguna's face now. "You want me to be with Rinoa because you want to live in some fantasy where you got your happily ever after with Julia Heartilly, instead of having to fucking _settle_ for Mom!"

Squall's drunken tirade was cut short by the loud sound of a slap. It cut through the room like a crack of lightning, and Squall reached up and rubbed his cheek where Ellone's hand had contacted hard. She was glaring at him, Laguna completely rooted on the spot, looking at Squall, but actually staring right through him. He jerked when Ellone slapped Squall again. Her normally warm eyes blazed furiously.

Squall shoved his sister out of his path, and stormed out of the room. Laguna was still staring at the spot where his son had been hurling those hurtful words at him. He felt Ellone's hand come to rest gently on his shoulder, and when he looked over at her, he felt a tear trickle down his cheek.

"I'm sorry, Dad," Ellone whispered, putting her arms around her adoptive father, the only father she knew. She couldn't remember her blood father at all. It was rare that she called him Dad instead of Uncle Laguna, but right now it felt appropriate. They stood in silence for a while. Ellone's hand stung from the slap, and it made her eyes brim with tears. Never in her life did she imagine that she would wind up slapping one of the people who meant most to her in the entire world. But, she also never imagined that Squall would turn into _this_. That he could say such horrible things to his own father.

"Did Raine feel that way, too?" Laguna asked quietly, heartbroken. Squall's words still rang in his ears, and had cut him as deeply as if Squall had just taken a knife to his heart, and he was bleeding out all over the carpet. "Did she... think that...?"

"Don't even ask that!" Ellone exclaimed, heat rising in her voice again. "She loved you more than anything! And, if she were here, she would be _ashamed_ of him right now."

Laguna's shoulders slumped, like he was shouldering the world. His voice came out robotically, like a stranger's. "But, she's not here. She's dead." He gently shrugged Ellone's hands away. "I should get back to my office. Kiros is probably after me to do something or other."

"Oh, Dad..." She whispered, flopping down in the desk's chair. She angrily swept an empty whiskey bottle away with her arm before collapsing into tears.

---

"Please don't do this..." She begged, sobbing. Her mascara was running down her cheeks in black trails, pooling at the corners of her nose. "Please..." She wailed lowly, clasping her hands together in prayer, looking up at Seifer.

He trained his handgun on her, trying to keep his hand steady as he looked into her watery blue eyes. She wasn't supposed to be here. Seifer's target, a Deling City defense attorney, must have picked her up at the last minute. Or, she'd known some sort of back passage into his loft, if he called upon her services often. And now, with him dead behind her on the chaise lounge, she was begging for her life. She was sobbing in terror, and one of her breasts had fallen out of her skimpy camisole, but she didn't care. Why would she, when she thought she was going to die any second?

__

Why are you hesitating? You're a killer.

"I won't tell no one!" She promised, voice barely legible because she was crying so hard.

__

You kan't be anything other than this. Stop trying to fucking pretend.

"I won't tell no one! I'll leave town. Please, please! I have a kid!"

Seifer's hand was starting to shake around the gun's handle.

__

Why are you trying to pretend that you have sympathy for this wretch? She's a whore. You've killed much better people than her. This. Is. What. You. Are!

"SHUT UP!" Seifer shouted. The prostitute's pleas cut off with a strangled yelp, and she bit her lip hard.

__

I don't want to do this.

It's what you are. Stop being a liar. You have sympathy for her? She's a whore. Just like you are. Willing to sell yourself for a shot at glory. For a shot at stupid, childish honour. To be used by Ultimecia. By Sol. By Squall.

Normally, the berating voice of his self-conscious in the back of his mind took the tone of Ultimecia, but now it was his own. It was like even his mind was done trying to pretend. He wasn't doing this because he was under Ultimecia's yoke still. Maybe he was doing this because he... well, he was just a bad person.

The prostitute could see that her potential killer was starting to hesitate. She slowly crawled across the floor, and gently gripped the hem of Seifer's army surplus jacket. "Please," she whispered, looking up at him. "I won't tell nobody, I swear."

Seifer looked down at her for a long time.

"I can't die here. I can't leave my kid. Please don't ki--" Her begging died off in the face of a loud gunshot, and the quick death of a bullet entering the front of her skull. Seifer's coat was splattered with blood and bits of her skull as she fell backwards, landing with a thud on the floor. Without a second glance, he left the loft by the fire escape, the same way he'd entered. He dropped the gun in a trashcan with a deft slight of hand, then went to a nearby alley, and pulled a new jacket out of his duffel bag, and switched it for the bloodstained one he was currently wearing. He continued to walk down the block, and threw the coat away in a different, larger dumpster than the gun. Nobody noticed anything out of the ordinary, because that's the way it was in Deling City. He could have killed that hooker in the middle of the street, and the only thing they would have noticed would be if it caused a traffic delay.

Instead of taking the bus down to the train station, Seifer decided to walk through the park. He sat on a bench that overlooked the Presidential Palace, and the beautiful archway. Where his life had started to go so wrong. Where he'd sold himself to a Sorceress so he could live out his stupid childish fantasies. He wondered if the child he'd just orphaned, somewhere in this sprawling metropolis, would turn out just like him. So utterly lost that he couldn't find his way back. That there wasn't even a way back. He was in a bottomless pit, black and lonely.

He folded his hands and put them to his mouth, leaning his weight forward so he was hunched over, elbows on his thighs. He could feel a tear trickling down his cheek as he closed his eyes, and he bit down on one of his fingers so he wouldn't let out the sobs that were trying to come out of him. Right now, it all came pounding down on him like waves how trapped he was, how scared he was of himself and what he'd let himself become. What would his parents think of him? Maybe they'd been selfish and weak, just like him. Or, maybe they were still alive, and just didn't care. Why would they want to find a coward like him? He was even too cowardly to end it all. He could have just told Sol he wanted out, and wound up like Mars.

He let out a long, long breath, wiping errant, foolish tears away with his thumbs. His heart, his stupid stupid heart, would have liked nothing more than to have Squall sitting beside him right now. His shoulder to lean on, his hand to hold. To feel Squall's breath against his cheek. Why couldn't he just fucking see the truth? Squall had made it perfectly plain he didn't want more than casual sex. He probably didn't want much more now than to get high. He wanted to hate Squall for ripping his heart out, but he couldn't. He hated himself more for letting himself believe that something could come out of it. After the Ultimecia debacle, he promised himself he wouldn't give into his weakness for romanticism. What a flimsy promise that turned out to be. Seifer leaned back on the bench, and watched people and cars go past him like he was invisible. He watched for a long time, not moving, trying to compose himself. He must have sat there for hours, because the sun was starting to rise, and there was a deep chill in his bones.

He pulled out his phone and slowly dialled the secure line that would connect him with Sol. "It's done," he answered monotonously when the line picked up. Sol didn't give any kind of greeting, but he didn't have to. "But, he wasn't alone."

"Prostitute?" The mechanical voice asked blandly.

"Yes."

"Sometimes collateral damage happens. I'll send you a bonus for your trouble, though."

"I don't want it," was Seifer's tense reply.

"Oh?"

"I'll take what we agreed to."

"Fine."

Seifer opened his mouth to say something. What? That he wanted to quit? That he couldn't do this anymore? That he wanted to try and save a little bit of his soul?

"I have the sense that you want to tell me something."

" ...it's nothing."

"I'll keep in touch, Jupiter." The line went dead.

Seifer held the phone to his ear for a while before putting it back in his pocket and rose from the bench, his body stiff and cold. As he walked to the nearest bus stop, he felt his phone vibrate against his hip. He pulled it out and saw that it was Quistis's number. He debated on whether to answer at all. When he did flip open the phone and say "hello", he was so emotionally drained that his greeted had no affection.

"Seifer?" Quistis asked. "Seifer, thank Hyne! Have you seen Squall? He's missing."

Quite frankly, this news didn't surprise Seifer, though his heart did skip one beat. "Why?"

"Seifer, please. I know he would have gone to see you."

"I saw him about a week ago."

"Do you know where he would have went?"

"Check the nearest liquor store," he snarked as his bus pulled up. He threw some change in the receptacle and took a seat in the back.

"This is serious! He disappeared from Esthar last week. Rinoa said he called her from Timber, but... he wasn't in Timber, was he?"

"No. Look, I don't know where he is, Instructor. I broke off all contact with him."

Quistis could hear the finality in her old friend's voice. Seifer and Squall must have had some big falling out. She guessed it had to do with either Squall's drug abuse, or his coming to Seifer as a lover, and then lying about him to Rinoa. Again. But, she didn't press the issue. She could tell from Seifer's voice that it would be a really bad idea.

"Seifer..." She trailed off. "Are you okay? You've been really distant lately, and Fujin says you're starting to skip your classes. Is something wrong?"

'_Oh, just everything,'_ he wanted to say. "I'm fine. I guess I'm not just cut out for school."

"But, you seemed to enjoy it so much."

Seifer could hear her misery loud and clear. And, it wasn't just about Squall's disappearance. Her whole life was a disaster. Just like him. He didn't want to add his own horrible problems onto the mountain that were her own. "Quisty, I have to go."

"Oh... okay. If you see Squall, or he calls you, _please_ tell me, or call Laguna's offices in Esthar. He's worried sick."

"I will, okay? Bye."

"Okay... bye..."

He snapped his phone shut again, closing his eyes as he held it in his fist. He hated hurting Quistis's feelings, but she already had one train wreck friend to worry about. She didn't need another. Before he put his phone away once more, he saw he had a text message he hadn't noticed.

"OMG DOLLET EDUUTV CLLED! CALL BAKC!" was the message flagged 'urgent'. That many spelling errors in a text message was pretty common for Raijin. His big fingers and the small buttons on a cell phone didn't mix well.

"EduTV...?" Seifer asked himself under his breath. They were now in one of the tunnels that led up to the train station, so he'd lost service and couldn't reply. But, the reason that Dollet's educational television station would call Raijin was a mystery that actually took Seifer's mind off his own problems for a little while.

---

It took Squall a long time to open his eyes. His lids felt incredibly heavy, and his eyes were so dry that it hurt quite a bit. Everything was really blurry, and it took him a while to bring his surroundings into sharp focus. He didn't recognize this place. It looked like some sort of condemned building. He could hear rain pounding loudly on the roof, dripping noisily from leaks. There was a broken-out window across from him, and all he could see was a slate grey, dismal sky above the roof of an ugly brick building across the way. He turned his head to look at the rest of the room, but the change in vision caused everything to spin, and he had to roll over so he could vomit. When he was done, his whole body fucking _hurt_, and he was sweating profusely. Underneath the smell of fresh vomit, there was a staleness in the air mixed with human waste and garbage.

Squall wiped his forearm across his mouth, which tasted terrible, and not just from being sick. He also felt incredibly dirty. When he ran his hand across his face, he could feel a growth of beard. When was the last time he'd shaved? He wasn't the sort of guy who could grow facial hair really quick, so it must have been a while. His hair felt gross when he ran his fingers through it, and he winced when his wrist brushed the curl of his ear. When he touched it again, he had to bite his lip to prevent crying out in pain. There was something in his ear...

He rose to his feet to go to the window. He had to know where he was. When he tried to take a step, he fell over, his body completely unresponsive to mental commands. He wound up having to practically crawl to the window, but when he pulled himself up to look out, he still wasn't sure where he was. All he could see was a dirty alley, where the smell of garbage was coming from. There was the sound of city traffic in the background, and he heard the distant whine of train whistles, one after another. Timber? How did he get to Timber? The last thing he remembered was... was Esthar. His stomach gnawed when he tried to think, and when his last memory came into ugly clarity. Arguing with Laguna, saying... Hyne, saying the most hurtful things.

He looked around, but he was alone. There were makeshift beds on the floor, just old tattered blankets on top of big pieces of cardboard. There were stains on the floor from the leaking roof, but also from urine, feces, and even blood. Squall concentrated as best he could, and saw plenty of discarded condoms and needles. A flop house...? He couldn't remember _any_ of this. Tears started to sting his eyes, and he felt sick all over again when he realized the largest portion of the bad smell was coming from his body. He couldn't remember bathing, or brushing his teeth, or how he got here, or how long it had been.

"Oh God..." He slumped down under the window, wind blowing rain inside, splattering across his back. His ear throbbed, and he tried touching it again to investigate the awful pain, but couldn't bear even the lightest touch. His stomach was churning in a way that had nothing to do with needing a drink or some drugs. He started searching his pockets, his hands shaking more and more until he had to stop and collect himself. He was panting loudly, and couldn't see through all the tears in his eyes. His pockets were empty, save a couple empty baggies with a few granules of white powder left in them. Where was his wallet? Where was his phone? Where was _he_?

"Okay," he whispered to himself. "Okay, get up." He used the windowsill as a crutch, rising to his feet. He'd been so fit before, and now even that motion took all his energy. He looked across the dirty, pathetic room, and let out a sob, the tears that had been trapped in his eyes now trickling down his cheeks. This is what he'd let his life become? When he took the first step towards the dilapidated stairs, it was the hardest step he'd ever had to take in his life. Each stair was like walking on broken glass, and he had to stop his descent twice to catch his breath. He still felt nauseous, and now his bladder was starting to feel sore and heavy.

When he finally got to the ground floor, he looked around for a bathroom, getting more and more desperate. The only one he could find was sickeningly dirty, and smelled like death. But, it was either use it or just go in his pants, so he looked away from the dirty, rancid toilet as he began to urinate. When he did, he gasped in pain. Squall had to actually look down to see that he wasn't pissing fire. It burned, and the agony made bile rise up in his throat. The stream of urine also looked thick and... wrong. Terror rose up in him as he zipped his pants up. Did he have some kind of disease?

That realization, combined with the smell of the bathroom and his body's protests at being sober, made him stumble out into the hallway and retch in a corner. _If you had a drink, you could deal with this a little easier..._

Squall shook his head at himself. For the first time, he knew that he had a serious problem, and he couldn't deal with it on his own anymore. He needed help. In the foyer, which was leaking so much it may as well have been underwater, Squall saw a pile of rags that was actually people sleeping. One of them must have heard him, and stirred, looking up at him with glassy, drug-addled eyes. "Oh, hey man... awesome party last night. Lessgethighlater..." He mumbled before passing out again. He looked like he should have been dead. Squall instinctively reached up and touched his own face. Did he look like that?

When he stepped outside, the cold rain pelted down on him. Maybe the first bath he'd had in two weeks. He started searching his pockets again for his phone, but it was gone. Was it stolen? Had he sold it for drugs? Where was his wallet? He needed to find a pay phone. He needed to find out where he was. He needed to find out _when_ it was.

He finally came across a pay phone. The booth's glass was cracked and badly tagged with graffiti. But, now he officially knew he was in Timber at least, from the Timber Telephone logo that was on the phone. He'd have to make a collect call since he had no money, but stopped just before hitting the 0 button. Who would he call? He'd alienated all his friends and family. His first instinct was to call Seifer. Right now he wanted to see Seifer's face more than anyone's, but he knew he wouldn't be able to handle that rejection right now. So, he dialled the operator and placed a collect call to the only other person he wanted to see. He said his name when the operator prompted, and waited to be connected.

Inside the booth, as the phone rang, he looked at the rather reflective glass, and saw his own face in the rain splattered surface. He reached up and touched his cheek, making sure it was actually him. He reached up and touched his sore ear. The cause of the pain seemed to be a horrid red swelling around a new industrial ear piercing. The holes in the upper curl of his ear, connected by a silver barbell, throbbed and looked like they were weeping. If he couldn't remember even getting it done, he sure as hell didn't remember to take care of it properly.

"Squall?!" Quistis's voice exclaimed breathlessly. "Oh Hyne, where are you?!"

Hearing her voice made his lips tremble as he looked at his ghoulish reflection. How happy she sounded, how worried. "Quisty..." He whispered, voice trembling.

On her end, Quistis sunk down on the edge of the bed in her room at the Seaside Hotel in Balamb Town. Tears of relief pooled under her lashes. "Are you okay?" Her sense of isolation in Garden had gotten so bad that she'd been staying at the inn now for two weeks. Xu and Irvine seemed to be the only two who cared where she was. She wondered, and hoped, if Irvine was also checking up on her sometimes at Nida's request.

"No," Squall whispered, crying freely now. He leaned himself against the side of the booth, unable to stand. "I'm in Timber... and... and I don't know how I got here. I don't remember anything..."

"You left Esthar almost three weeks ago," Quistis whispered. It broke her heart to hear Squall sound so defeated.

"Three weeks...?" He echoed, sniffling loudly from all the tears. "Quisty... I need help."

She could barely hear him because his voice was shaking so bad, but she did make out those last three words. "Oh, honey... do you know where you are in Timber?"

Squall looked out to the street, wiping his tears away so he could see. "I don't know. I... I don't recognize it. There's... there's a homeless shelter down the block. Nineteenth street." He took big gulps of air to try and calm himself down enough to complete a sentence.

"I think I know where that is. I'll be on the next train, okay?"

Squall couldn't answer because he was overcome with tears again.

"Just go to the shelter, okay? I'll come find you, sweetie."

"Okay," he whispered pathetically, hanging up. He used his palm to wipe away the tears and snot, and also felt crusts of old vomit around his lips. "So..." He murmured to himself, stepping out into the rain, looking up and letting it splash all over his face. "This is what the bottom of the barrel feels like." He mustered the last of his self-respect to calm himself down, balling his fists so hard that his nails, much longer than he normally kept them, cut the skin of his palms. He could feel the sting and the wetness of blood. It made him feel more grounded, more clear-headed than he'd felt in a long, long time.

He stood in front of the shelter, soaking wet. He really hoped they had a doctor or something on call. He was pretty certain he had some kind of STD, but he didn't know which. What if... what if there was another problem on top of that? What if he also had HIV or something? He tried to rack his brain and think, remember. But, there was nothing. The last thing he could remember were bits and pieces of Esthar. Yelling at Laguna, pretty much accusing him of not loving Raine. Ellone slapping him. The blur of blue light and the sound of a lifter. Other than that, nothing.

He slowly breathed out and went in the shelter. It was mercifully warm, and there was the fragrance of soup over unwashed hair and clothing.

"Hello," a middle-aged woman greeted when he approached a folding table that must have been their 'greeting office'. She smiled kindly at him, but had the air of someone who did this all the time, and nothing would surprise her. She must have taken one look at him and knew he was a junkie. A junkie... Hyne. He was. It was true. Squall Leonhart, the junkie.

"Hi, umm, I..." Those three syllables all came out as one breath. "I... I need help." It took everything he had to control himself, to not think of the ruin he'd made of his life. Of what he's lost, maybe forever... He must not have done as well a job as he would have liked, because he saw the compassionate pity well in the woman's brown eyes. "I... I'm an al-alcoholic and a..."

"Shh, it's okay!" The woman urged, getting up from behind her wobbly table/desk. "We'll sort you out." She put a chubby hand on Squall's shoulder. "We've got a free clinic upstairs. You need a doctor?" Her eyes flickered up to his bright red, highly infected ear.

Squall nodded glumly.

"You got anyone to call, dear?"

"My friend is coming to get me," he muttered. His friend. That was so achingly true. Quistis was his best, dearest, and _only_ friend. "But, she's coming from Balamb..."

"That's okay. You can wait as long as you like. Do you want something to eat?"

"I think I should see the doctor," he mumbled into his chest. His shyness around strangers was at maximum right now, especially considering the way he was currently projecting himself.

"All right. This way." She gently steered him by the elbow towards a frosted glass door that said 'Nineteenth Street Free Clinic' on it in neat black, all capitals font. "What's your name, dear?"

"Squall," he answered, more of a grunt.

There was a constricting of her brow muscles that told Squall she was starting to realize who he was. Honestly, he didn't care. Let his picture be on the cover of every goddamn magazine in the world, he thought as he slowly climbed the stairs to the clinic. It couldn't possibly make him feel any lower than he did right now.

---

"Television?" Quistis echoed as she waited for a taxi at the Balamb train terminal in Timber. She was speaking to Fujin on the phone. Seifer was 'unavailable', and the blonde at least had wanted to get him a message that Squall was okay. Quistis knew Fujin didn't want any harm to come to Squall, at least not _this_ kind of harm, but her reaction had been rather frosty and disjointed, even for the one-eyed woman. She'd just had a conversation with Laguna. It broke her heart how completely relieved he'd sounded, nearly breaking down into tears over the phone.

"YES," Fujin answered. "Raijin wants to take it immediately, obviously. Seifer's a little more hesitant. He thinks they're trying to cash in on his infamy, rather than actually caring about Centran reptilian life." She was referring to the mysterious meeting with EduTV in Dollet that Raijin had gotten a call about. They were interested in airing the video documents of Seifer's studies in Centra as an educational series, since people who were crazy enough to go chase after tonberrys and ruby dragons were hard to come by. Especially if they were doing it for reasons other than thrill-seeking.

"Is the money good?" Quistis asked, flagging down a taxi. Her shoulders slumped in relief when it stopped. She'd been waiting for nearly twenty minutes.

"Pretty good, considering they're just students. As time went on, it would probably get better."

"Sorry Fujin, but I'm going to have to hang up on you," she apologized as she handed the cabbie a pair of bags. An overnight bag for herself, and one for Squall. "I'm getting in a cab now. Just... thanks for distracting me, huh?"

"WELCOME."

"And, you _will_ tell Seifer that Squall's okay, right?"

" ...YES."

"Fujin..." Quistis began in her best Garden Instructor voice.

"AFFIRMATIVE!" Fujin answered testily.

"Squall loves him, you know?" Quistis snapped. She was just so fucking sick of snide undercurrents. They followed her wherever she went, and she also wanted to defend Squall. Yeah, he didn't handle things with Seifer and Rinoa fantastically, and he got himself all fucked up, but he was still her best friend. And, no matter how drunk or high he got, that didn't change his feelings.

"You should get in your cab."

"Oh, whatever." Quistis snapped her phone shut. Later, she would have to call Fujin and apologize. She didn't want to alienate yet another person in her life. But, right now, her only focus was Squall. Getting to him, making sure he was okay. Trying to get him back into rehab.

"Thank you," she murmured as the cab stopped in front of the shelter. It was a sad, lonely looking place. She gave him some gil, and thanked him again as he helped her with her bags. When she got in the shelter, she found Squall sitting on the edge of a rather spartan cot. He was hunched forward, staring at his hands. When he heard her approaching footsteps, he looked up. When their eyes met, Quistis tried to hide her shock. His complexion was sickly and his hair was too long and lank. He looked so hollow, like he was a zombie. So thin...

Squall, being the most sober he'd been in over a year, knew immediately what she was thinking. He tugged at the baggy hoodie he'd gotten from the drop box. "Compared to how I looked when I came in here, this is pretty good."

Quistis slowly lowered herself onto the cot beside him. When he smelled her familiar perfume and felt her hand on his shoulder, his lip trembled. "Quisty..." He whispered as she collected him in a hug. He couldn't hold it together anymore, and wept into her chest. Nobody paid them much attention. This sort of thing happened here often.

"I've got you," she whispered into his hair, which was still a little damp from a hot shower earlier. "I've got you." She held him as tight as she could, hoping it would somehow keep him together. "It's okay," she assured after a while, when his sobs started to subside.

"No," Squall answered lowly, pulling away and wiping his wintery blue eyes. "No, it isn't, Quisty." He willed his tears away. "I have gonorrhoea, and I don't remember how I got it. I have to wait for blood work results to see if there's anything else wrong that I don't remember doing to myself. I don't remember _anything._"

"The last place anyone saw you was Esthar. You might have taken a train here. Or, even walked to Fisherman's Horizon, then came here."

"I don't know if I want to remember," Squall whispered. "I probably did things that..." He couldn't even finish the sentence. His ear was starting to throb, and it felt like it was leaking again. "How's Rinoa?"

"Fine, I guess. How should I know? It's not like she talks to me anymore. I do know that she's really worried about you."

Squall bit his lip. She was worried about him still, even after all the shit he'd put her through. After the way he'd treated her, yelling at her in front of half of Garden's Administration. He thought of the warmth of her eyes, and the softness of her hair. The luminance, the beauty of her face. He didn't deserve to be her Knight.

"What are you going to do?"

Squall looked at his best friend for a long time, resisting the urge to reach up and rub his throbbing ear. "I think... I need to admit that I have a problem. I can't fix this on my own anymore. I can't be like this anymore."

"I'm sure Laguna could get you back into a rehab facility in Esthar, and..."

"I'm thinking Morning Lake."

"You sure?" She asked. Morning Lake was a rehab center in the Timber woods. Garden often sent SeeD there when they got into trouble. Considering their jobs, Garden members in Squall's situation weren't that uncommon, actually. It's just that none of them had been Squall Leonhart before. They were also on retainer for the Galbadian Army. It was rather like a posh prison with very, very strict rules.

"Yeah," Squall answered. "I need that structure right now."

"Okay." She put a hand on his shoulder, rubbing it in comfort. "We'll talk to Cid when we go back to Balamb."

"If he'll agree to see me."

"He will."

Her surety put Squall further at ease. The thought of trying to turn his disaster of a life around was a truly frightening one. He would face a thousand Ultimecias any day, instead of doing this. But, Quisty with him made it seem like he could do it. He could fix himself. He could turn his life around.

"You need to say in town to be near the doctor?"

He shook his head. "I just need to take my antibiotics. Can... can we just go home?"

"It isn't really home anymore," Quistis answered, tucking some loose golden hair behind one ear as she helped Squall stand. He was so weak that even that was a struggle for him now. "I've been staying at the Seaside for a week or so."

He didn't reply. It wasn't like it was surprising or anything. They didn't speak all the way back to the train station, and even during the journey back to Balamb, they were quiet with each other. Quistis could see Squall's inner gears working overtime. He was doing some serious thinking, and she didn't want to interrupt. She'd started reading an old gardening magazine, when the sound of his voice frightened her after all the silence.

"Can I use your phone?"

"Yeah, sure." She handed it to him. She wanted to advise him not to call Seifer. Squall was in a precarious place right now, and rejection from him might send him falling back down. And, Seifer seemed to be having his own problems right now. Serious ones that he wasn't even telling Fujin and Raijin about. She watched him press numbers, painfully slow. He wasn't looking forward to this phone call. When she heard him say "Dad...?", she silently excused herself. She could hear Laguna's overjoyed reaction at hearing his son's voice from across the private train car. Squall's wobbly-voiced apology to his father was the last thing she heard before she closed the door behind her.

---

"I've got a meeting!" Luchia stated, as excited as she ever got, closing Xu's office door behind her.

Xu almost asked 'who are you and why are you in my office?', but realized it was Luchia, looking like a completely different person. She was wearing a blonde wig with large, glamorous curls, and had put on some kind of bronzing powder to make her parchment white skin look more tanned. She was also wearing contacts to make her eyes look hazel, and even adjusted her rigid posture. "You're serious?" Xu asked. She'd been setting up a new butterfly shadowbox, pinning a new specimen down. She slowly lowered the small pins that would hold the lovely purple and green wings in place. "You're really serious?"

"Someone codenamed Pluto will be meeting me in Balamb Town."

"Excellent!" Xu nearly leapt out of her chair with joy. Finally, finally! A meeting with one of Sol's lieutenants. "When?"

"An hour. I'm sure I don't need to ask if you got the info on the false hit done?"

Xu eagerly pressed the file into her assistant's cold hands. "It's been collecting dust since I heard about the damned Solar System. I'll be listening on a mic. Bring Astor."

"He's already waiting in the garage."

Xu smirked. "You know... that's why you guys are such great henchmen."

Luchia's disguised eyes slightly narrowed and the corners of her lips twitched minutely, in her bone-chilling version of a smile. She left the office, where Xu balled her fists and did a silent little victory dance.

On the way to Balamb, Astor and Luchia didn't say a single word to each other. They rarely did. Neither found much use for words. They were just wastes of oxygen. Astor parked a couple blocks away from the small café designated as the meeting spot. Astor would climb up onto a nearby apartment building's roof, and watch every move Luchia and Pluto made through a pair of binoculars, magic ready like a sniper's bullet if any problems needed dealing with.

She sat at a window table, casually looking out. It would have looked like she was people-watching, but she was really checking Astor's position. She ordered a tea and waited, checking her watch momentarily. Five minutes until 4:00. She sipped her tea and waited, wondering if each person that walked by her window, or came in the door, was Pluto. Or, even Sol themselves. Could Sol be that man at the counter? Or, the middle-aged woman in the booth two down from Luchia's own?

The alarm on Luchia's watch beeped when it hit 4pm on the nose. Almost at the exact same moment, her cell phone rang. It's internal clock also said it was 4:00. When she flipped her phone open, she greeted the caller, number labelled 'unknown' with a cheery "hello!", which was completely un-Luchia like.

"Nice try, Luchia," a mechanical voice said into her ear, sounding like a taunt despite the electronic masking. "But, I don't do deals with undercover SeeD agents."

Luchia's head snapped up, her false smile receding to reveal ice. She looked around. Sol must have had someone watching her. Was the call coming from inside the café?

"By the way," the robotic voice murmured. She only half heard it, searching for anyone using a phone in her proximity. "That disguise is pretty good. Just not quite good enough." The line went dead.

She slowly lowered her phone down from her ear, starting to sweat under the wig. She made a discreet gesture to Astor, signalling that there wasn't going to be any meeting. Luchia wasn't one of the more well-known SeeD. Her face was never in the newspapers or gossip magazines. Which meant there was only one logical explanation, and one they'd feared - Sol was a SeeD.

---

"No messages?" Quistis asked as she turned onto a quiet, tree-lined road in rural Timber.

Squall shook his head, putting away his back-up cell phone. He never did find out what happened to his main one. He'd also had to cancel all his credit cards, since his wallet met the same fate as the phone. "I don't know why I bother checking." He was seeing, with a sense of false hope, if Seifer or Rinoa had texted him back. She was in Centra with Edea studying her powers, so Squall hadn't gotten a chance to see her before leaving for Morning Lake. Centra's wireless service was shoddy at best, so it was very possible she hadn't gotten his message yet. The same couldn't be said for Seifer's silence, though.

He'd sent them both identical messages. "_I'm going to Morning Lake for rehab. When I get back, we need to talk_." He knew that while he was cloistered here, he needed to make some serious decisions about his life. Not only did he need to get clean, but Squall had to decide what _he_ wanted to do from this day forward. What he wanted his life to become, and who he wanted to share it with.

"She probably doesn't have phone service," Quistis offered.

"I know. But, Seifer?"

She was silent.

"He doesn't want to talk to me."

"I'm worried about him."

"Why?"

Quistis just shrugged as Morning Lake came into view, nestled behind grand oak trees and lovely pruned bushes. It certainly didn't _look_ like a detox center.

"Quisty..."

"I don't know... he just seems really distant lately. I don't know if it's because of what's going on with you, or him and Ivan breaking up. But, he's even pulling away from Fujin and Raijin. Maybe he's not as over the whole Ultimecia thing as he wants us to believe." She looked over at Squall's face. "I guess I shouldn't have brought it up. You have enough to worry about."

"Oh... no, I want to know." His concern must have shown.

Quistis slowed down her rental car in the gravel turnabout, and killed the engine in front of some handsome double doors leading inside. "Ready?"

Squall looked at the building for a long time. If he was having any second thoughts, his reflection in the passenger side rear view mirror would have made them vanish. His hollowed-out cheekbones and haunted looking eyes belonged to someone else, a person he didn't want to be anymore. "Yes."

"Okay." Quistis popped the trunk, and got out to get a duffel bag he'd packed. "You want me to go in with you?" She asked when she handed it to him.

"No, it's okay." He squared his shoulders after brushing his too-long bangs out of his eyes. He needed a haircut badly. "I need to do this on my own."

She nodded, and then collected him in a fierce, tight hug. At first, he was as stiff as he always was when someone tried to hug him, but he quickly welcomed it and hugged her back. His best friend.

"You call me when you're ready to come home, okay? I'll come get you."

"I will," he assured. "Don't cry until I'm out of eyesight, okay?"

Quistis pursed her sensual lips and laughed. It was true enough that tears were forming in her eyes already. "Yes, sir." She gave him a SeeD salute, trying to be funny. But, it just felt melancholy. "I guess I'll see you in a couple of months."

"What will you do?" She'd told him about leaving Garden to stay in the hotel.

"I don't know. Maybe I'll try to visit Seifer, if he'll let me. Or, I'll go visit Matron for a while."

"If you see Rinoa, tell her..." He didn't even know how to finish that sentence. He didn't even know how to bring up Seifer's name.

Quistis just nodded, leaning against the car as she watched him make his lonely walk up to the front gates. She felt a sense of loneliness as he vanished into the grand manse that would be his posh prison. But, she was certain Squall would succeed this time. Since Squall was going to be gone for eight weeks, she'd also taken a leave of absence from Garden. She had no interest in getting another partner, and no other SeeD really wanted to partner with her at any rate. While Squall turned his life around, Quistis wondered if she could use this time to sort out her own.

---

"Can we stop for a second? I can't run as fast as you!"

Squall nodded and used the chance to take a drink from his large water bottle as his running partner lowered herself to her knees on the mossy ground. Normally he preferred to run alone, but he'd struck up a friendship with Vanessa, a fellow alcoholic and drug addict, and a rather famous pop singer. They were both sweating profusely, but in a good way. It was Squall's fifth week at Morning Lake, and Vanessa's third. Vanessa Guillonio was maybe the only person whose public meltdowns were plastered on the tabloids more than Squall's.

Vanessa crossed her legs, running a hand through her sweaty black hair. She and Squall didn't converse much on runs. She was cut from the same cloth as him, and was pretty shy with people she didn't know very well, and also just liked to keep to herself. Her problems came from a somewhat similar place as Squall's - the inability to handle public intrusion on her private life. Her drug of choice had been crystal meth rather than cocaine, and whenever she thought of sneaking some, she would think of the face of her two-year old daughter, Bianca. Bianca didn't need a mother who couldn't even stand up straight.

"You okay?" She asked, seeing that Squall looked really distant. She drank greedily from her water, and pulled a granola bar from a small rucksack slung across her back. She offered him one, but he waved it away.

"Mr. Azucar gave me a message today from the doctor I went to in Timber." Azucar was the junior administrator of the facility. Patients were discouraged from making personal phone calls, because it distracted them from the healing process, so all messages from the outside world went through him.

"Oh?" Her smoky voice was softly accented with a Winhill dialect that Squall was drawn to. Perhaps Vanessa's voice was similar to Raine's.

"HIV negative."

"That's good! What's the bad news, then?"

Squall smirked and looked down into her dove grey eyes. She reminded him a lot of Quistis. Maybe that's why he felt a kinship with her. "They found traces of PCP in my system. That's probably why I can't remember anything about when I vanished. He told the doctors here to keep an eye on me, since it can affect you even months or years afterwards."

"I know that feeling," she muttered, slowly rising to her feet. "People have come up to me telling me how much they loved _Fierce Creature_, and I don't even remember recording that album."

"So, will you get mad if I say that's the only album of yours I've heard?"

Vanessa lightly shoved him in the shoulder as they once more started in a slow jog along one of Morning Lake's running trails. Squall was glad he'd chosen to come to this detox center, instead of going back to Esthar. The daily urine samples and random room throws searching for contraband did him good. He needed that structure. It was familiar to him after a lifetime in military school. He didn't even mind the therapy sessions after a while. At first, the hardest part had been talking to a complete stranger about all his deep feelings. The idea still made him shudder, though he put up with it. Because it _was_ rather like prison, there wasn't much more to do outside of therapy sessions than exercising or reading. So, he would take twice daily runs through the woods, chain-link fences deceptively hidden behind thickets of old trees to keep the patients in the grounds.

"I have good memories attached to listening to it," he murmured. He was now at a level of fitness where he could talk to Vanessa normally while in a full run. When he'd first come here, climbing a flight of stairs left him breathless. That CD had been one of the ones he and Seifer had listened to that weekend where they'd first had sex together.

"Well, then I'm glad... I guess. It's pretty bad that my best album is the one where I'm most messed up."

"Just your most popular. People probably wanted to buy it out of curiosity."

"Ah, yes. My career thrives on the train-wreck mentality." She started running a bit faster, and Squall found that he had to pick up his pace to catch up. There was determination in her lovely face, and Squall saw his own progress in her. That she'd hit rock bottom too, and wouldn't ever let herself live like that again. "You know, Squall, it's nice to run with you. You're not checking out my boobs the entire time." Vanessa had a killer figure, and even though she was wearing a supportive sports bra, she was bouncing quite a bit.

"I do like women too, you know..." He'd told her a little about his triangle situation with Rinoa and Seifer.

"Just not me?" She teased, wiping her forehead with the terrycloth band around her wrist.

"You remind me of my mom."

"Ouch!" She exclaimed, laughing. "I didn't think I was _that_ much older than you."

"She was from Winhill too, so I think she might have sounded like you."

"You never met her, huh?" Vanessa asked as the main house came into their distant view.

"She died when I was a baby. I just have what my father and sister have told me about her."

"Your father seems like a good man. Especially for a politician." She grinned at Squall. She'd met several of Esthar's high-ranking politicians, even Kiros, but never Laguna. They slowed to a fast walk when they got close to the facility. "I don't want to just be a memory for Bianca. I don't want her only memories of me to be what my ex-husband tells her. That's why... oh, never mind. You've already had group therapy today."

They parted ways once in the main foyer. She waved over her shoulder and went down the hallway towards the therapy wing. Squall took a drink from his bottle, actually not wishing in the slightest that the water was booze. He walked through one of the common rooms towards the gym, towelling some sweat off his face, when the sound of a familiar voice made his steps falter, and his heart quicken. Had Seifer come to Morning Lake, busting in past the front guard, disregarding the rules about no visitors in typical Seifer Almasy fashion? He looked around, even though he knew it was stupid of him.

The source of that all-too-familiar voice, he found, was coming from the television of all places. His fist tightened around the towel as he saw Seifer crouched down on some sort of dusty ground, pointing out tracks in the grit. He was talking about the first few days in the life of a baby dragon, and gestured to the large nest to which he was crouching beside, where there were some cracked eggshells.

One of the other residents on the sofa felt someone behind him, and looked over his shoulder to see Squall standing behind them, struck numb by the TV. "Hey Leonhart, you know this guy, right?"

All he could muster was a jerky nod.

"Is he as much of an asshole as he seems? You know, from the Sorceress thing?'

" ...no," came the nearly strangled reply. "He's really awesome." God, what a lame verbalization of his feelings towards the man that was talking about Centra dragons like it was second nature to him. He looked so... at home, at peace. Happy. "What channel is this?" He managed to ask as he sunk his sweaty body into a vacant chair.

"EduTV, out of Dollet."

Squall folded his hands in front of his mouth, watching the screen intently, his fingers hiding the tugging upward at the corners of his lips. Before coming here, one of the things he knew he needed to change in his life was this limbo he was living in with regards to Rinoa and Seifer. But, he already knew his answer. He'd known it long before stepping foot in Morning Lake. He'd known it since the day he and Seifer kissed in his office, so long ago. He knew he wanted to be with the man whose voice warmed him right to the core. The man who knew him better than anyone else ever would, and who Squall knew just as deeply. His only hesitation had been his worry about how others would be disappointed about him and Rinoa. How hurt she would be that her fairytale didn't pan out.

He knew very well that Seifer didn't want to see him right now, but Squall didn't care. He wouldn't stay with Rinoa just because of the blonde man's anger. It just wasn't fair. It wasn't only ruining Squall's life, but Rinoa's too. She was never going to be happy like this, and Squall still _greatly_ wanted her happiness. Would she even really be surprised when he told her the truth? But, his biggest worry wasn't telling Rinoa. It was seeing how long Seifer could go before forgiving him. He knew that Seifer cared for him deeply, loved him, but that made the anger and hurt run extra deep. Squall knew he'd meant it at the time when he's said 'I don't want to hear from you ever again', words that still stung like a slap. But, would he mean it forever?

Instead, Squall concentrated on this far happier Seifer, looking tanned and rugged and completely fucking hot with the sun playing on his shortly cut blonde hair, and bringing out darker emerald flecks in his peridot eyes. He smirked when Seifer said something tart to the camera, and Raijin's disjointed voiced bellowed a "Shut up, ya know?!"

The others laughed at Seifer's witty sarcasm, and one resident leaned over and nudged Squall. "Hey, you know this isn't bad for something educational."

"Mmm," Squall answered, in his own world where nobody else existed except for him, and the sound of Seifer's voice.

---

It was a very warm day, so Quistis was supervising some of the older children as they took an afternoon swim at the lighthouse beach, near Matron's orphanage. Edea was down the beach further at a shallower part with the younger kids. Trying to get through to Seifer had been a disaster. His eyes looked so dead that it really worried her. Normally, even when he'd been following Ultimecia's orders, his eyes showed a passionate fire that couldn't be quenched. But, now? He didn't even seem phased that he'd been on TV. Raijin was beside himself with glee, and they'd probably only let EduTV have that tape at the big man's insistence. Seifer just didn't _care_. So, she wound up here, her childhood orphanage. The place she could always come back to when life kicked her in the ass. Like when she'd almost had a chance at a family. At parents. What had been so horrible about her that they didn't want her? Was it the same thing that was driving away all her friends and co-workers? Was she really just a bad egg?

"Ms. Trepe?!" The sweet voice of Edea's part-time maid called out. She was a teenage girl from Good Hope Township, looking to make some extra money before she went to Esthar for university. She waved when she saw Quistis sitting on a large eroded rock, knitting and watching the children. Behind the maid was another figure, and Quistis lowered her sock project (one of many, many socks she'd knit since Squall had gone to rehab), when she recognized that walk. Rinoa.

"Have you seen Mrs. Kramer? She has a visitor!" The maid gestured eagerly to Rinoa, excited to be in the presence of the Sorceress.

"She's down the beach with the little kids. Probably near the tide pools."

"Can you take Sorceress Rinoa to her? I've got supper half-chopped and waiting." She gave a respectful bow to Rinoa before going up the pathway to the house.

"This is where you've been," Rinoa said quietly. They both looked at Quistis's knitting needles as they moved across rows. Her fingers, normally so sure and fluid during her favourite hobby, were shaking. "You just kind of... vanished."

"I needed to get away. You know where the tide pools are. You don't need me to show you."

"Is it okay if we... talk?" The last word came out as a squeak.

"About?" She didn't look up from the sock.

"Anything," Rinoa answered, a little desperately. "Hey... that yarn looks familiar," she commented on the heathered lavender silk blend. "Did I buy that for you?"

"Last Yule. Back before you thought I was a slut."

"I don't think you're a slut."

"Yes you do." Quistis snapped her mouth shut. There was so much more she was going to say. "Never mind. I don't want to start fighting with you."

"I never wanted to fight with you," Rinoa whispered, looking at Quistis's stern profile as the older girl raised her head to check on the orphans. "But, you and Squall are so close! You know each other so well, and I'm jealous of that!"

"I've known him my entire life, Rinoa. That's natural."

"We've spent so much more time fighting than being together. I feel like I'm dating a stranger. You think... you think that rehab will work this time?" She brushed some hair out of her eyes that had got blown there by the gentle ocean breeze.

"I hope so." Quistis put her knitting in Rinoa's lap and regarded her for a full two minutes before saying anything. It was making the dark-haired Sorceress feel like a bug under a magnifying glass.

"Please Quistis, just... say something, okay? Anything."

"If you're staying overnight, I'll take a room at the inn. That way you won't have to be discomforted."

"Oh, Quisty stop!" Rinoa shouted. A couple of the children down the beach looked over their shoulder at the noise. "I don't want that! I want us to be friends."

"I'm not the one who did anything differently, Rinoa. I'm not going to stop being friends with Squall just because it makes you uncomfortable. Especially when he needs friends badly right now, and really... I need them too. Right now, him and Xu are the only things even keeping me at Garden, besides some sense of duty to Cid and Edea."

"I never meant for that," Rinoa whispered, taking small steps closer to the other woman. "I guess... I just got caught up in the rumours. I've even kind of stopped knitting. Whenever I try to work on something, it just makes me think of you."

Quistis slid off her boulder perch. "Can I give you a piece of advice, Rinoa?"

"Yes, of course."

"Next week, when Squall comes back from Morning Lake... I want you to make him tell you everything. I'm pretty sure he finally will anyway, but... just in case he chickens out again, make him tell you the truth."

"Truth? About what?"

"I'm going to go check on the kids. Matron's by the tide pools." Quistis put her knitting in the small canvas pouch wrapped dangling from her wrist, and walked down towards the beach. She knew that her cryptic advice would probably send Rinoa's imagination into a tailspin, but maybe Quistis wanted to hurt her a little, even though her advice would really go to lengths to prevent the Sorceress from being hurt any more than she already was. Probably, Rinoa would just think that it was final confirmation that Quistis and Squall _had_ been sleeping together, after all.

Rinoa was so tempted to stop Quistis from leaving by magical force. The loss of Quistis as a friend upset her just as much as her problems with Squall, maybe even more. She knew from experience that friends were a lot harder to replace than boyfriends. But, she'd never been able to get over the nagging doubt that Squall and Quistis were lying about something, and the blonde pretty much just confirmed it. She just didn't know what to do. Was Rinoa really letting herself be cowed by the mob, and believing any old rumour? She sighed bitterly and trudged towards the tide pools in search of her Sorcery mentor.

---

"Dear God, that man is so fucking infuriating," Xu hissed to Luchia through clenched teeth. She was balancing a large, teetering stack of files in her arms. There were also some discs and other things that he really could have been doing if he weren't such a fool and a bumbler. She was already in a sour mood anyway, and had been since Luchia had been made during her potential meeting with the Solar System. Now, every time Xu passed a fellow SeeD in the hallway, she looked at them with narrowed and suspicious eyes. Were they Sol? Were they someone who works for Sol? Even Luchia could be in the Solar System for all she knew.

"Would you like some help?"

"No, I'm fine," she snapped. She was still a little miffed at her assistant, even though the Sol thing wasn't her fault. They wouldn't have even known Sol had eyes in Garden if it _weren't_ for Luchia's meeting. "See you later." She did some impressive and flexible moves to get through her office door with her arms full, but as she tried to close the door with her butt, some of the folders went topping, their paper contents fluttering all across the floor.

"Oh, for... Hyne's... sake..." She muttered, letting out an infuriated whine. She started picking up all the pieces of paper, cursing and swearing each time she did, finding the proper folder for each. She turned on her computer as she filed the documents, bustling and multitasking. She logged in using Cid's password, which he didn't exactly keep as secret as he should have, so she could check his schedule. They really needed to have some meetings, and she found that if she planned them for him, he would actually show up. She also pulled up her own daily planner, and started cross-checking for free time.

"Tuesday at three...? Okay, that's not bad," she talked to herself. "A meeting with Squall and Quistis shouldn't take him too long..." She slowly closed the filing cabinet drawer as she realized what she'd said. "Squall and Qui...?"

Xu lowered herself into her chair, and looked at Cid's schedule. Because she did so much of Garden's administrative work, she knew the ins and outs of their computer system. Actually, Xu probably didn't need to do as much as she did, but someone as goal-oriented as her didn't want to defer any of the power away from herself.

Xu's dark eyes became slits as she followed paper trails. Cid had made up some documents and made appointments to get everything official. "Oh, no no no, you fucking stupid bastard. No!" She shouted, punching her monitor in fury. It caused some cracked discoloration to appear. "I cannot let this happen. Not now." She started typing furiously, and punched a text message into her phone, summoning Astor and Luchia. She would not let Squall and Quistis do this to her. She would not let Cid have stars in his eyes about a mission that happened two years ago, and would not let Ultimecia dictate who should run Garden for the long term.

As she was printing out some fake documents, Luchia and Astor appeared. She silently ushered them into her office with angry, jerky motions. "Close the door," she commanded, sitting back in her chair, handing Luchia the documents. "We don't have much time to dawdle."

---

"Wow, Squall... you look incredible!" Rinoa breathed as he closed the door to her room in Garden. Their room, actually. Funny though, it didn't feel like 'their' room. She put her hands on his shoulders and looked up into his face. He looked so much like the Squall she remembered from the Forest Owl mission in Timber, when they'd first met. His complexion was brighter, his eyes lucid, his posture straight and proud and Squall-like. He was even wearing black leather. This time it was a pair of black leather pants and a high-necked motorcycle jacket with handsome pewter snaps, and of course his black leather gloves. She leaned in for a kiss, but he pulled away, and took her hands off his newly fit shoulders.

"Sit down."

She pursed her lips. The text message he'd sent her before going to Morning Lake - 'we need to talk', was burned in her brain, as was Quistis's advice about making him tell the truth. "Uhh, okay..." She smoothed her skirt over her butt and thighs, and lowered herself down on the freshly laundered duvet. His eyes looked so serious...

Squall crossed and un-crossed his arms a few times, and shifted his weight. This was a conversation he'd acted out a dozen times in his mind. He wasn't looking forward to hurting her sweet heart, but he knew he had to. He had to. There was no question in his mind what he wanted. Who he wanted.

"Just tell me," Rinoa demanded wearily.

"I've been cheating on you," he blurted out, back to the vintage Squall Leonhart abruptness. He really had come full circle.

"I knew it," Rinoa hissed, balling her fists in her lap. She could feel magic tingling her limbs. "Quistis told me a million time she wasn't sleeping with you. What a liar!"

"It wasn't Quistis."

Rinoa blinked, looking up. She wasn't expecting to hear that one. "Wasn't... Quistis...?" She cocked her head from side to side, slowly trying to comprehend this whole conversation. It was happening so fast. "But..."

Squall sat beside her on the bed, but kept a personal distance between them. He brushed some hair off his forehead, newly cut. His bangs were still shaggy and long, but they were a bit more jagged, and the back was much shorter than it had been. It was quite a flattering haircut for his face. He'd actually kept the industrial piercing in his ear. After the infection had gone away, he'd come to like the way it looked.

"Well, then who else would it be, Squall? It's not like you're exactly that social!" She demanded, her voice getting higher.

" ...Seifer," he answered.

She looked like he'd punched her in the gut. She turned her face away, and stared ahead for a long time. Squall let her have her silence, but actually wanted her to yell and scream. He knew he deserved it.

"You're kidding, right?" She finally asked. They must have been sitting there for five minutes.

"No."

"So... you're... gay?"

"Bisexual."

"Why didn't you ever tell me?" She demanded, finally turning to face him. Her warm eyes were full of tears. He hated himself for this, but knew it was right.

" ...I don't know."

"Don't give me that!" She exclaimed, standing up and spreading her arms out. "You _do_ know!"

"I didn't want to hurt you. And... maybe I thought... you would freak out."

"Just like how you seemed so hesitant to ask me for things... in bed..." She sighed heavily. "Since when?"

He realized that she was asking when he'd starting having an affair with Seifer. "I kissed him in my office, the day he left Garden for the last time."

Rinoa turned away so he wouldn't see how upset that made her when she realized he'd kissed Seifer before he'd kissed her. "So... are you telling me because you're breaking up with me?"

"Yes."

Rinoa's eyes closed, and she felt hot tears trickle down her cheeks, charged by magic. She was so glad she'd been turned away from him when he said that.

"I love him."

"...oh."

"I'm sorry, but I do." She could hear that his voice sounded thicker. She turned around, and saw a tear had escaped his left eye. This was one of the only times she'd seen Squall cry. All the other times had been from physical injury, though.

"Did... did I make you... did I make you two... gay...?" She asked, panting heavily, trying not to break down entirely.

"No!" Squall exclaimed, rising to his feet and gripping her upper arms. "Don't ever think that."

"Is this why you started drinking?" She asked desperately. "Because of me? Because you hated being with me so much?"

"No," was his firm answer. "It was all me."

"Are you two... together?" She asked, voice dull. She had to look away from him. Even though he was breaking up with her, and just told her he'd been having an affair with another man, being this close to him quickened her blood.

He dropped his arms. "No... not yet..." He muttered, looking concerned. "He's... furious with me right now. He was right when he told me I treated him like a whore." He looked away.

"Quistis knew?"

Squall nodded stiffly. "Her and Seifer both wanted me to tell you, but I didn't want to hurt you."

"But... you did."

Squall nodded again. He knew a dismissal when he heard one. "I hope... you know what? You don't want to hear that right now. But... you'll always be my Sorceress."

Rinoa crossed her arms tight and turned away from him. She couldn't hear that right now. Not when he was ending their relationship. Not when he was breaking her heart.

"Can we talk... when I get back?" Squall asked. "I've got a mission, but..."

"Just go," Rinoa whispered.

"Okay." He opened the door and looked over his shoulder at her. "Rinoa?"

She didn't answer. She remained stiff as stone, even when he'd closed the door and left her alone. In the hallway, Squall was leaning his back against the door to their room. It had once been just his room, and now he truly thought of it as just her room. He felt like complete shit, but it was right. And, it was a long time coming. She'd been so correct. He'd been trying so hard not to hurt Rinoa, but he'd done it anyway. He walked away from the door, and he felt like he deserved worse than what she'd given him, but he also felt like half his battle was done. He'd ended his relationship with Rinoa, and now he could try to work on repairing his relationship with Seifer. He pulled his phone out and checked for any texts. But, there were none. He had the feeling Seifer was deleting Squall's messages without reading them. _I won't give up on you_, Squall told himself, with more confidence than he'd felt in a long time. He was walking on memory, because his mind was completely elsewhere. Breaking up with Rinoa had been another pearl in the string of hard things he'd had to do recently, though it still didn't seem as scary as checking into Morning Lake, or calling his father after he'd been such an asshole, saying that stuff about Raine.

But, after going through all those things, he had a sense of clarity, and a sense of hope about his life. He was going to do what _he_ wanted now. He was going to listen to himself. He was going to show Seifer that he wanted to be with him, that he was committed to it. It was only on instinct that he met up with Quistis in the quad. Her red corset-style camisole was just a smear of colour in his unfocused eyes.

"Wow, you're a million miles away." Quistis waved her hand in front of Squall's face, and then smiled teasingly at him. It became a lopsided smirk of affection when she looked at his face. "You know, you really do look good."

"You're only saying that because you saw how I looked in Timber," Squall muttered, still incapable of accepting a compliment.

"Did you talk to Rinoa?"

He just nodded. "Where's Xu? Did she give you information about our mission yet?"

"She should be here any second" Quistis trailed off, looking at her watch face. "Ah!" She pointed to the stairs, standing from the lip of the fountain. "Right on schedule. Just like Xu," she added with affection.

"Hi, guys!" Xu waved cheerfully. "Squall, it's good to see you back amongst SeeD once more. You look like your old self."

"What's the situation?" He asked, his way of accepting the praise.

"A Galbadian separatist militia is holed up in the old outcrop buildings of the D-District prison that were decommissioned when the new Galbadian government reopened the facility. Technically, they did sell the property, so they can't be forced out through trespassing laws. It was purchased legally by the militia's founder and leader, JB Reigar. But, now they've started to show themselves. They commandeered a caravan of government officials that were going to the prison for an official visit, and they're holding them hostage. They say they want air-time on international broadcast waves, or else they're going to start killing hostages. They also claim to have some atomic warheads, and that they're not afraid to use them."

"Who called in SeeD?" Quistis asked, taking the folder from Xu. She opened it and flipped through the dossier on Reigar and his followers, Squall looking over her shoulder.

"The warden of the prison. They're the ones that got the call, since they're so near. They don't want to move in in official capacity, because if Reigar sees the Galbadian uniforms..."

"He'll start shooting," Quistis finished. She tied her loose blonde hair up in a side-parted bun. "And, SeeD don't have to worry about the same political red tape as them, huh?"

"Bingo, chickie. Sorry about this mission coming on you the day of your return, Squall. But, we've been a little understaffed lately."

"It's fine," Squall assured coolly, all business. "I want to keep busy." If he was concentrating on a mission, he wouldn't have the time to lay on his bed, either in a new dorm or at a hotel, and watch the seconds tick away while he waited for a message from Seifer that probably wouldn't come for quite some time.

"A car's waiting to take you to the harbour. You'll be taking a high-speed yacht to the western Galbadia coast. It will be a lot faster than trying to get the trains, and time isn't something we have right now."

"Got it."

"Astor and Luchia will be accompanying you on this mission. That's okay, right?"

"Yes," Squall and Quistis answered in unison.

"Good." Xu clapped her friend on the shoulder. "I guess I don't need to wish the two of you good luck, but I will anyway."

"You think we need it?" Quistis asked with a wink, pulling her black leather gloves out of the back pocket of the faded jeans she was wearing under a pair of leather chaps.

"Who knows?" Xu called with a wave as Squall and Quistis climbed the quad stairs towards the main part of Garden. "If I didn't wish you luck and something happened to you, how would I feel?"

Quistis laughed and gave Xu a SeeD salute. "Probably glad that you'd be the head of the CC card club!" She called before disappearing after Squall, not noticing how Xu's smile hardened like frozen water.

---

Quistis flipped through the folder on Reigar again. They'd arrived at the Galbadian coast without issue, and were now driving in an armoured truck to the militia's headquarters. It was a very silent drive. But, it's not like Astor or Luchia were very talkative at the best of times. Quistis couldn't remember ever saying five words to either of them, even though they were so close with her old friend.

As his partner read, Squall found himself looking at the faces in the truck with him. Aside from Xu's assistants, he didn't recognize _any_ of them. Had he really been so out of touch at Garden that he didn't know any of the new SeeD? It just seemed very... odd. Most of them weren't even looking at him. Maybe they based their opinion of Squall and Quistis on rumours, but Squall sensed something else. Something... off. He gauged this by the few who _would_ look at him. They were staring at him too much, or staring at Quistis _far_ too much. So much so that Squall wanted to tell them to stop. It was unnerving.

"This Reigar seems like a piece of work," Quistis muttered to herself. "If he's so anti-government, why haven't we heard anything about him before? This is the kind of guy that should be on SeeD's radar."

"Why indeed..." Squall whispered, catching Astor's gaze. It was black and unreadable, like a shark. He felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up, and got the instinct that something was very, very wrong. Astor never looked away from him, and because he was now so painfully and finally sober, Squall felt like his soldier's sense was heightened after all the shit he'd gone through. It was telling him now that this was a set-up.

He folded his hands in his lap, and with a deft gesture that looked like he was adjusting his sleeves, he freed up a knife holster that was hidden under his coat. Luchia's fingers moved up and down the wired shaft of her stun rod, like they were itching. Waiting.

"It's because there's no such person as JB Reigar," Squall replied, eyes never leaving Astor's. "Why are we really here?"

Astor smirked. It was the first time that they'd ever seen any kind of upturning of his lips. It couldn't really be called a smile though, since it was so cold and full of potential violence. Quistis looked up in confusion from the files, and when she looked into the faces of the SeeD around them, she got the same sense of dread that had been growing in Squall.

Astor tapped his knuckle twice on the partition between the back of the truck and the driver's cab. They felt themselves rolling to a stop, and before Luchia could finish closing her hand around her staff to turn it on, Squall had summoned Shiva. Her icy magic filled the truck, and the metal creaked and moaned from the rapid temperature change. Amongst the sound of warping metal and ice magic, there were the loud pops of stray bullets.

"Come on!" Squall shouted to Quistis through the din. When he'd summoned Shiva, Diablos had called himself, sensing Quistis's fear and peril. She and Squall together tackled against the heavy double doors on the back of the truck. It jarred their shoulders and they did it again, finally managing to pop open the doors and fling themselves out into the hot Galbadian desert sunshine. "Run, dammit!" Squall shouted to her through the smoke and magic now pouring out from the back of the truck.

The sound of bullets and magic to combat the Guardian Forces echoed behind them as they ran towards the canyons. Astor flung himself out after them, flinging magic at their retreating forms. "Go after them!" He hissed to the SeeD who were jumping out around him. "And, don't come back until they're dead!"

Shut up. I know he cares.

But, he just doesn't care **enough** korrect?


	8. Chapter 8

****

Chapter 08

Squall bit his lip so his loud breathing wouldn't give away his position. He was crammed in a small crevice in the red rock face in the canyons near the Dingo desert. It was the only time he wished he was still as skinny as he'd been at his drunkest. It was an extremely tight fit, especially when he was pretty certain he'd dislocated his shoulder. His gunblade was jammed at his side, useless. But, he had magic ready if any of the SeeD hunting him found his position. He was covered in blood by now; not only his own. He didn't want to stop and think about the fact that he was killing fellow Garden members. Fellow Garden members who just happened to be trying to decapitate him. Why?!

He strained his ears, listening. He could hear distant gunfire, and prayed they hadn't found Quistis. They'd got separated after running from the armoured truck. Why would Astor and Luchia be commanding SeeD to kill them? It just didn't make any fucking sense! All Squall knew was that they were greatly outnumbered, and he was already injured. He needed help badly. He winced and tried desperately not to cry out when he had to move his hurt shoulder, pulling out a satellite phone he'd taken off one of the young SeeD's bodies. Squall didn't dare use his own phone. Not only did he not want to be traced, but he probably wouldn't get service way out here.

He dialled the number, keeping his ears perked for any kind of noise. He just needed a few minutes of safety... There was only one person he _could_ call. That he wanted to call. It's not like he could call Zell or Rinoa. These were Garden officials that were coming after them. And, Laguna wouldn't be able to help. He _would_ of course, but any help from Laguna would come in a governmental capacity from Esthar. Squall had no clue about Luchia and Astor's motives, but he was pretty certain they had some sort of official Garden backing from Xu, so anything the Estharian government did would be seen as an act of war. There was no way Kiros or Ward would let their country go into a war again, especially not for some inter-SeeD conflict.

No, the only person he could call for help was the one person he feared wouldn't heed his call. 'Dammit', he mouthed when Seifer's voicemail picked up. "Garden betrayed us," Squall whispered into the phone, charging an ice spell in his palm. He figured he better get Seifer's attention fast with this phone call, so he wouldn't delete the message when he got it. _If_ he got it. Maybe he wouldn't listen to it until Squall and Quistis were already dead... "Me and Quisty are in trouble. SeeD are hunting us... I don't know why," he panted. His dislocated shoulder was making him dizzy. "Please," he quietly begged. "Please help us. You're the only one we can trust." He then rattled off the GPS coordinates being given by the satellite phone. "Please," he begged again, a hail of bullets and magical explosion getting closer. He could hear shouting. "Please, Seifer..." He wanted to say more, but his time had run out. He hung up, and then dropped the phone, smashing it with his foot so its call history couldn't be traced.

"I saw him go this way," a voice called. Squall could make out footfalls from at least three separate people. He really wished he wasn't so magically tired so he could call Shiva again. Summoning a GF was very physically and psychically taxing, and right now he needed to keep his wits about him, and definitely not risk passing out. It's not like they were looking to take him prisoner if they found him fainted. They'd probably just stomp his skull into the ground.

Squall held his breath and waited for them to come nearer. He ignored the wetness at his side. There was a wound there that was bleeding quite heavily, but only his survival mattered. Him and Quisty. He had to find her... He could now hear pebbles rolling along the ground as they scuffled their feet. He could smell the gunpowder coming off one of them, they were so close. Once they were in eyesight to his hiding spot, Squall cast ice magic on them, frozen shards of water hailing down on them and sticking into their skin. A rather large icicle went through one's left temple, and came out his right. The ice magic didn't kill the third of the group, so Squall fired from a small handgun he'd stolen off one fallen enemy (former comrade).

Squall shimmied out from the crack and groaned. The sharp rock caught his side, and further opened his wound. He could feel blood sloshing around inside his leather coat, stiffening the navy blue linen shirt he had on underneath. He started searching their bodies for bullets matching either his gunblade or the stolen semi-automatic. As he slapped a magazine into the gun, he noticed that one of the fallen, frozen bodies wasn't one of the faces he remembered from the truck. Squall looked around for anyone else who might have been nearby before crouching over the body, studying their face. It was possible he just didn't recognize them, but once he's got his bad feeling in the truck, he'd taken the time to look at each person's face carefully for signs that the feeling was wrong.

When he started searching this stranger's body more carefully, he realized that they were wearing dog tags for the Galbadian army, similar to the kind that Laguna still wore around his neck. The man was too young to have been both SeeD and army. Had there been a mercenary force of Galbadian swordsells waiting for the armoured truck to get to them? There to make sure the job was finished? To make sure he and Quistis were dead? This just didn't make any fucking _sense_!

Squall's head jerked up when he heard a distant explosion, one that he could feel vibrating the ground under his knees. "Quisty..." He whispered, pulling himself upright. The quick motion nearly bowled him over, and he stumbled against the rock face, feeling blood dribbling down his leg into his boot. He cast a small cure spell on the injury to stave the pain for at least a little while. He started walking with gunblade drawn, internally praying that Seifer would get his message.

---

"OKAY?" Fujin asked out of the corner of her mouth. She, Raijin and Seifer were sitting in the blonde man's living room, having just come back from a movie.

"I'm fine," he muttered, staring straight ahead.

"I was kinda hoping we could talk, ya know?! About the whole TV thing, ya know?!" Raijin asked. He kept trying to find intervals to breach this subject with his childhood friend, but every time he was met with an unpleasant silence. "They said the ratings were really good!"

"Probably because they only cared about seeing a former war criminal," he muttered, wiping some rain droplets off his coat before hanging it up.

"Or, because it was interesting?" Fujin offered.

Seifer was silent.

She and Raijin shared helpless looks. Raijin just threw up his hands and shrugged his massive shoulders. "Look, ya know... far be it for me to ever, _ever_ say anything Squall's favour, but..."

"Don't even finish that sentence," Seifer threatened, peridot eyes blazing. He flopped down on the couch, making a face of discomfort when he sat on something that dug into his butt. He sat up and pulled his phone from his back pocket, seeing it was still turned off from the movies. He turned it on, and saw he had a call from a number he didn't recognize, from twenty-five minutes ago. Something started gnawing at Seifer's gut that had nothing to do with any food he'd eaten, or any sickness. He could taste bile on his tongue as he started to check his voice mail.

"Garden betrayed us."

Even before Seifer heard Squall's voice, sounding like it had come through time, back before Squall had turned himself into a drunk junkie. It was the sound of the Squall he'd known for so long, and the Squall he missed so badly it was like his heart was ripped out. And, even before he heard it, he knew Squall was telling the truth. That he was in danger. And, the vocalization of this feeling honestly didn't surprise Seifer in the least. Seifer could hear the other man was in pain as he unabashedly begged for help amidst the background noise of gunfire.

Squall's last words - "please, Seifer..." echoed in his ears for long seconds after the message ended. That was twenty-five minutes ago... When Garden was hunting you, twenty-five minutes was a long time to stay alive.

"You have to go." The phone was still pressed to his ear.

"WHAT?" Fujin asked.

"You have to go," he repeated, standing up and punching in the coordinates Squall had rattled off into the GPS application within his phone.

"What happened, ya know?!" Raijin asked, seeing the paleness of Seifer's face.

"Go to Esthar," he told them sternly, pulling a large suitcase out of his coat closet. He flipped it open with force and yanked out the false bottom, not caring if Fujin and Raijin saw him pulling out a very suspicious number of guns.

"ESTHAR?"

"Are you going to repeat everything I say as a question?" Seifer snapped, starting to reload a shotgun. "Go to Esthar, and get to the Presidential Palace. Tell Laguna we're coming, and that they're innocent. And, give me your car keys. I can't use a motorcycle."

"I, uh... huh?" Raijin scratched his head, watching dumbfounded as Seifer stormed into his bedroom, coming out with three duffel bags, all with similar false bottoms as the first suitcase. He pulled out more weaponry to the shock of his friends. Raijin was completely flummoxed, but comprehension started to dawn on Fujin, since she had similar bags in her apartment.

"If anyone stops you on the way, fucking lie."

"Can you just tell us what's going on, ya know!?" Raijin asked, handing out his car keys with high confusion.

"Go home and pack a fucking bag!" He hissed, eyes blazing with urgency. "Get the next fucking train, and get. To. Esthar!"

"Where did you get all the guns?" Raijin questioned.

Seifer stared at his friends for a few moments, feeling them slip away forever. How many SeeD would he have to kill if he found them dead? Would it matter? Would he care?

"Which one are you?" Fujin asked, a question that took both men off guard.

Seifer quickly realized that she was outing both of them. "Jupiter," he answered. He didn't have time to get into this with Fujin, but it would be on the top of his to-do list later on. "Now, fucking go!" He shouted at them, shoving them towards the door.

"But..." Raijin began.

"HURRY," Fujin barked. "EXPLAIN AFTER."

"You owe me big for this, ya know?!" Raijin promised, pointing at Seifer as Fujin pulled on his beefy forearm. "EduTV?"

"Fine!" Seifer ground out. "Now, get the fuck out of here."

Seifer continued to grab every available weapon in his apartment, including his much beloved gunblade, which he hardly ever used in employment of Sol. He packed them loosely into duffel bags, barrels and handles sticking out from every angle. Honestly, he didn't care if someone saw him carrying enough guns to supply an army. There was no time for social secrecy now. He also chucked in what medical supplies he had, wishing desperately that he still had Guardian Force access. Magic would be the only field where he would be sorely outmatched by a bunch of Garden cocksuckers.

He stuffed all the stuff in the backseat of Raijin's small sedan, and peeled out of the parking lot with much squealing and smoking of tires. He prayed to Hyne that Raijin and Fujin would get to Esthar before the shit really hit the fan. He had no idea what was going on, but he had the distinct feeling that Squall and Quistis staying alive wasn't part of Garden's plans.

---

Quistis groaned as she tugged hard on her whip, making it so taut it was digging into her wrists where she secured it. She cast a powerful fire spell into the back of the SeeD that she was restraining with it, then kicked his body forward. His charred corpse went sailing into two other men wearing bits and pieces of Galbadian army surplus. Definitely not SeeD. She cracked her whip in the face of one of the men, trying to get up from under the bulk of the dead body. To the other, she shot him in the throat with a magic bullet. When she'd first started running from the truck, she'd tried not to kill any of her pursuers. But, after a while she'd lost that desire. They were trying to kill her, and if she didn't kill them...

"Squall, where are you...?" She whispered under her breath. It was starting to get dark, and with each inch the sun disappeared over the top of the canyon, Quistis's fear rose. She had to find a way to get in contact with Garden. She had to tell Xu that Luchia and Astor were acting on their own, that this was all some horrible misunderstanding.

Quistis started to slowly back away from the bodies, keeping her senses strong. She heard the sound of pebbles being disturbed behind her, and froze. She slowly tightened her grip on the handle of her whip, and felt the heat of magic balling in her palm, waiting to be discharged. She was in the same boat as her separated partner - she was too tired to call on Diablos to come help her again, and the GF had also taken injury, and needed the time to rest and heal up.

There was silence behind her for a full minute before Quistis relaxed her posture. Probably just a tiny rock falling from one of the high canyon perches, or maybe an animal scared by all the noise. But, she felt like she was being watched. She spun around and fired a wave of magic right at the spot, hitting the rock face. The wind was starting to pick up, and blew sand in from the desert. There was nothing there, and all her magic did was make a black, smoking smear. The second she relaxed her shoulders, she felt a searing pain between them, jerking through her entire body. It was electricity, and it shocked her so strongly that she was lifted off her feet. She was flung off the spot by a strong prod to the back, and rolled coughing and sputtering, where she hit the rock she'd just burned with magic.

Through bleary, unfocused eyes, she looked up into the cobalt ice of Luchia's gaze, her face illuminated in the setting sun by her electrified staff, which was sparking from having just shocked the hell out of Quistis. The blonde's heart was beating painfully, and she started to charge magic at Luchia, but the end of the stun rod was pressed into her breastbone, and a massive voltage of electricity was poured into Quistis's body, knocking her unconscious.

When Quistis came to, it was forcibly. Icy water was being thrown in her face, and she gasped and coughed for air from around the gag stuffed in her mouth. She was on the cold cement floor of some building, trussed like livestock. Her vision was still blurry from the electroshock, and her entire body ached so much that she could only feebly struggle when she felt Luchia's hands pulling her up to her knees. She had the impression that there were other people in the room she couldn't see. And, that they meant her harm.

"Oh, good. You're awake."

Quistis blinked, looking around at the sound of the voice. So familiar

"I was hoping that Luchia wouldn't have addled your brain too much. She does tend to get a little shock-happy."

Quistis groaned, forcing herself to lucidity. She saw the voice was coming from a laptop screen, Astor standing beside it and looking down at her with his black shark's gaze. Quistis's vision cleared enough for her to see that it was a video conference with Xu, sitting in her office in front of her butterfly shadowboxes.

"You must have so many questions for me, but I only have one for you. Why couldn't you have just gone away? It wouldn't have had to come to this."

Quistis tried to control her muscle spasms from the electricity, but wrestled just as much with her confusion.

"You think I'm going to let that fucking buffoon choose you and that drunk over _me_ for Headmaster?" Xu asked. "You know, this is always someone's downfall. Being so arrogant that they reveal their plans to their enemies. But, I do feel like I owe it to you, Quistis, after all our years of friendship."

Comprehension started to dawn on Quistis. All of it. The rumours that would never leave Garden, the story about her and Evan in the newspaper. His murder, and the suspicion laid at Quistis's feet over it.

"No one could accuse you of being stupid, Quisty," Xu murmured. She could see the look in her old friend's eyes. She knew. "I would have let you come back and teach. You could have been with Squall if you'd just left Nida alone! That's what you always wanted!"

Quistis tried to shout 'fuck you', but it just came out as a garbled mess because of the gag.

"But... it had to come to this. I regret that, Quistis." Xu stared at her friend from the comfort of her Balamb office. "I really, really do." She tented her fingers, looking over the blonde's head now at Luchia, not wanting to look into Quistis's hurt and furious sapphire eyes anymore. "Use her as a bargaining chip to bring that junkie out of hiding. Make a deal to save her life if he turns himself in, then kill them both. Report back here when you're done."

"Affirmative," Astor's voice wafted from out of picture. Luchia nodded silently in understanding.

"Tell the mercenaries to leave her unspoiled, before and after death."

Quistis's blood ran cold, and she started screaming profanities, calling Xu the most degrading names she could think of, but it all came out as just a slur. Telling them not to rape her like she was doing Quistis a favour! She started struggling wildly against her bonds for all the good it did her. Her only reward was a rough smack on the top of the head from the butt end of Luchia's stun rod.

"I'll be the best Headmaster Garden ever had, Quistis. You can take comfort in it. And, you know this isn't something I wanted, honey. It just..." She shrugged a shoulder, and looked away from Quistis. She couldn't see her anymore. The angry, hurt tears in her eyes. But, even when Xu looked at her beloved butterflies, she could still see it. Burned into her brain. "There's no going back now."

"Xu!!" Quistis screamed around her gag when the video conference cut off, leaving Balamb Garden's logo where Xu had been sitting.

"We're going to radio contact the others," Astor told one of the other people in the room, who hung back in the shadows against the wall. Some of them were eyeing Quistis greedily, like she was a slab of beef hanging on a slaughterhouse hook. "Alive, remember. Alive and unviolated," he repeated, his voice chilling and leaving no room for argument.

Quistis started screaming when Xu's agents went to the door of whatever complex they were in. When Luchia opened the door, Quistis could see it was full night out now, and the desert air coming in was bitingly cool. She tried to beg them with her eyes, but when they looked back at her, there was no familiarity, friendship, compassion or pity. She was already dead to them.

---

Squall panted heavily, leaning against a boulder. His fingers were like ice, even covered in gloves. He felt like he was going to pass out from blood loss. He had buckshot embedded in his shoulder now, and a large, seeping gash on his calf to go along with dozens of other cuts and deep bruises. The wound on his side had stopped bleeding for now, but whenever he had to move, he would feel it tear open and start bleeding anew. He was also covered in dry and not so dry blood that didn't belong to him.

He was being pushed back down a ravine. The mercenaries and former Galbadian army that were with the SeeD knew this area far better than Squall, and he had the feeling they were cornering him, or pushing him to the edge of a cliff. He still had no idea why his fellow SeeD would be doing this, or where Quistis was. He also hadn't seen any sign of Seifer. True, he had to come from Dollet, but it had been at least five hours by now. Each time he looked at his watch, his hope at seeing Quistis again dwindled. He had every bit of faith in her capabilities as a soldier, but it's not like he was doing really great right now.

"Ah ha!" A voice called out mockingly. A bullet whizzed by his head. It was obviously meant to miss, because he'd been caught by surprise. "There you are, you little cunt."

Squall held his gunblade at the ready, the weapon's blade nearly completely coated in blood and bits of gore. He started slowly walking towards them, keeping his back facing the cliffs. There was probably a sniper up there though, his head trained in their scope.

"Are you going to stop acting like an asshole?" The head of this bunch asked, voice drawled by a southern Deling City accent.

"Why did they hire you?" Squall demanded, stepping closer. The moon was bright tonight, so it at least helped Squall see.

"What, you think you can buy me away? Think Daddy's Estharian money will save your life?"

Squall clenched his jaw, a muscle twitching.

"Well, maybe it will... as a ransom."

Squall grunted and dashed forward, deflecting a bullet with the large flat of his gunblade. He slashed out with a powerful one-handed stroke. The mercenary leapt back, but as he did, left his chest vulnerable for Squall to cast a fatal lightning spell. The smell of his burnt flesh filled Squall's nostrils and churned his stomach, but he ignored it. He immediately spun around to slice at the mercenary who'd moved to his back. He could hear more shouting and running footsteps - backup. He had no energy left as he eyed about a dozen people - men and women who were obviously mercenaries, and even a few that were probably hired out of Galbadian Garden. Soldiers from there had less scruples about doing unethical things than Balamb. Or, at least that's what Squall had always thought.

He was so exhausted in every regard that he was only running on memory. These soldier instincts came back to him as easily as breathing after such a long absence. Cutting his gunblade up and firing the trigger just at the right moment was like blinking, like walking. He arched his back, almost doing a back flip to dodge a magic attack and fired a round from his gunblade, quickly going to a one-handed grip when he was grabbed from behind. He flipped the assailant over his shoulder so they were on their back at his feet. He thrust his blade down hard into their chest, and threw a knife at one reloading a shotgun in the brief moment he was vulnerable trying to pull the gunblade out of the dead body's chest.

"Where's Quistis?!" He demanded through clenched teeth as he tackled a woman in Galbadian Garden student garb against a rocky outcropping. She groaned as he winded her, but then head butted him. She threw out a hot non-elemental spell and Squall had to somersault to avoid taking the full brunt of it. He could feel his cheek throbbing, not a hundred percent successful at dodging it. He'd already fought against so many opponents that his gunblade felt like he was holding up a truck. He sliced in a wide arc with the gunblade, which the woman did a cartwheel to avoid. Squall somersaulted after her, and elbowed her right in the diaphragm as she was finding her footing.

She lunged at him, and got her limbs all twisted around him so he couldn't use his gunblade. A knife appeared from a hidden sheath, and was driven into the shoulder that had taken the shotgun spray. Squall cried out as the blade went right through the front, end sticking out the back. His opponent rolled them over, and started slamming him into a large, jagged rock. He could feel his breath leaving his lungs at the impact, and black and white smears and dots passed over his vision. Squall slammed his forehead into her nose, feeling blood explode from it against his skin when it crunched and broke. She groaned in pain, and Squall got an arm free, wrenching the knife out of his shoulder. He wrestled himself free enough for the motion to slash at her throat. Their bodies were so tangled, and he was dizzy and winded, so he only clipped her skin. She slammed his head against the rock again, and he felt like he was going to black out. As a last-ditch effort, he dug the blade hard into the softness of her thigh. He could feel blood pour out from the severed artery. Her grip on him loosened, and he rolled away as she bled out, trying to quickly find strength enough to cast cure magic.

Once Squall was free, he rolled over and retched bile and blood, shaking his head to try and clear it. He could _not_ pass out now. He needed to find Quistis. He pulled himself up, heart plummeting when he heard shouting echoing in the gully. He cast a quick, weak cure spell on himself. It churned his stomach and made his muscles ache. He knew he couldn't take all of them on his own like this, having just gotten his bell rung so thoroughly. Though he was so psychically weak, he called upon Shiva to help him. His breath came out in fast, thick white clouds of cold air. The ground moaned and cracked under the ice goddess's feet, ice appearing where she touched down.

The four Galbadians were flanked by a pair of Balamb SeeD, both of whom started casting magic against Shiva. The yellow ribbons adorning her frozen hair flapped in the magical wind as she filled the gully with an air blast filled with sharp, icy shards. As she attacked, she kept an eye on her master's position, using magic and her own naked body to shield him as best she could. She could feel that he was fighting only on fumes now, but that he wasn't giving him. His love and concern for his partner's safety was too great. Shiva couldn't sense Diablos nearby, which she mentally conveyed to Squall. But, that didn't mean Quistis was dead. Diablos could have just been inactive at the moment.

Squall dashed at the others with his blade, slicing through limbs and torsos. He could feel their blood spraying on him, boiling hot compared to the cold wind of Shiva's magic. He cut down hard with a loud grunt at one of the mercenaries just as Shiva had frozen him, and his body shattered like a broken window, hard little chunks of frozen skin skating across the ground with loud, metallic-like plinks. Squall was then hit with what felt like a cannonball, thrown off his feet. It was hot, and singed his chest through his leather jacket. The force of the impact caused his gunblade to go flying out of his hand. It had been a flare spell, and Shiva had actually taken the full brunt of the blast, so she'd collapsed on the ground, body becoming translucent with her injury.

__

It's okay,

he assured his Guardian Force as she looked over at him with apologetic, frozen irises. He called her back into his body as he clawed his way up a nearby boulder, his legs feeling like there was nothing inside his skin. He could smell his own skin smoking from the attack. Another flare spell hit him, this time in the back. The two SeeD had kept out of the fray, and were now flanking him. Squall again tried to rise to his feet, but collapsed when he heard the loud ring of a gunshot. _Okay, this is it. You're dead. I'm sorry Quisty._

But, he was still breathing. He looked up and saw the SeeD standing in front of him swaying on his feet, then he fell to his knees. His eyes stared out blank, the light leaving them, blood oozing down his temples. The top of his head was missing, brain exploded apart from the gunshot wound. A second rang out, and Squall covered his head with his arms. He heard the SeeD behind him fall in a loud heap. Groaning in pain, he clawed at the ground to rise to his feet. He felt that one of his fingers had gotten broken somewhere along the line, and throbbed angrily when he tried to curl it against the rocky ground.

He could see his gunblade a few yards away from him. He froze when he heard the sound of rock being disturbed, like someone was sliding down the rocky slope from a cliff ledge above. "Go!" He hissed at himself, wanting to get his gunblade before the gunman came into the gully. Just because they'd killed the SeeD didn't mean they were Squall's ally. He rolled onto his uninjured shoulder to get to his weapon faster, and came to a standing position with it facing out towards the noise. He found himself facing down a tall male figure all in black. One hand had a large sniper rifle, the other was holding a long blade. The familiarity of his walk, and the realization that the blade was Hyperion made Squall slump against the ravine wall, relief overcoming him.

Seifer was assaulted by the same overpowering feeling of relief when he looked into Squall's blue eyes, glittering in the moonlight and very bright compared to all the blood splattered on his face. "Even half-dead, you're still the best soldier I've ever seen."

Hearing Seifer's voice made Squall's lips tremble. He pushed himself off the rocks and half ran, half limped towards him, nearly collapsing into his arms. When Seifer gingerly completed the hug, Squall truly felt how scared he'd been. His world, having just been put back together, was completely unravelling again. But, he felt a sense of calmness in Seifer's touch as he struggled to keep himself together. The love that Squall felt at that moment was crippling.

He looked up into Seifer's face, shadowed by the black baseball cap he wore to cover his pale hair from the moonlight. His eyes glittered from under the brim as they looked into Squall's. "You okay?"

Squall nodded, still panting from exhaustion. He craned his face upwards, lips heading towards Seifer's for a kiss, but the taller man turned his face away at the last second, so Squall's mouth fell on the underside of his jaw. "Where's Quistis?" Seifer asked in all seriousness. Even now, he didn't know if he could let Squall kiss him, get that close to him again. They hadn't spoken since their last disastrous meeting, and Seifer wasn't sure he was over those hurt feelings.

"I... I don't know. I haven't seen her since we ran from the convoy truck."

Seifer pulled away, going over to the bodies. "So... what happened?"

"I don't know that either," Squall answered wearily. He tried not to feel hurt by Seifer's rejection, especially not at a moment like this.

"What do you have for me...?" He asked of the dead SeeD. He knew that if they were dealing with Garden trained soldiers, he'd need the use of magic. He'd need a GF, hopefully one he was compatible with. The first was carrying Quetzacoatl, one he wasn't too in sync with. But, the second was carrying one that seemed to scream out to be taken by him, to be one with him. Seifer put his hands on the dead body's chest, and let the power of Bahamut flow into him. Seemed fitting that a reptile GF would want to be junctioned with him. Once he and Bahamut were psychically meshed, he drew magic from the bodies, and cast a few strong cure spells on Squall. He'd never junctioned Bahamut before, but it felt like he'd done so his entire life for some reason.

"Tell me what happened." Seifer asked quietly, keeping his eyes on Squall, and his ears on their surroundings.

Squall propped his weight on Lionheart. "Right after I came... home, we were sent out for a mission..." Squall trailed off, still trying to catch his breath. The cure magic was only a band-aid. He needed true rest to recover fully. "With Astor and Luchia, and a bunch of SeeD I'd never seen before."

Seifer's eyebrows shot up under the brim of his hat at the mention of the names of Xu's lieutenants. He started to reload his rifle as Squall talked, still panting hard and holding his side.

"We were supposed to be coming out here to look into some anti-government militia taking up in the decommissioned D-District buildings, but I got a really bad feeling during transit. I called Astor out on this militia head not even existing, and then..." Squall trailed off with a shrug, wiping his cheek with the back of a gloved hand, smearing bits of flesh off his face. He didn't even want to know what part of someone's body it had been. "They're trying to kill us, that much I know." He couldn't help but reach out and run his hand up and down Seifer's arm. He touched Seifer's hand, then squeezed it in his own. The taller man didn't pull away. He could feel the trembling in Squall's fingers, feel how afraid he actually was.

They remained in silence for a little while, as Seifer thought about what to do next, and as Squall rested. A beeping noise caught their attention, and both men instinctively had their gunblades up and at the ready, pointed towards the source of the noise. Seifer lowered his first, and quizzically went over to one of the Galbadian mercenaries that Squall had killed. The beeping was a radio. Seifer took it off the corpse's belt when he heard a crackly voice coming through it.

"We have the woman," a female voice murmured that they both recognized as Luchia's. "Tell Leonhart that we'll let her go if he turns himself in to us. Our position is the west maintenance building in the old outer F block."

Seifer stood and clipped the radio to his belt. "I bet anything once you show up, they'll put a bullet in both your brains."

"Why?" Squall wondered under his breath.

Seifer had an idea, but he kept his mouth shut for now. "I don't think we should just barge in there. They'd probably just kill Quistis. How long before you can cast Shiva again?"

"Don't worry about me," Squall muttered, rising to full height. Which still felt quite low standing next to Seifer. "Only Quisty matters right now."

"All right then. You need bullets?"

Squall nodded, reluctantly releasing Seifer's hand. He watched in mounting confusion as Seifer pulled out a handful of magazine clips, checked them, and then handed one to Squall, as well as a handful of loose bullets for Lionheart. When his coat had been gapped, Squall had seen various holsters holding lots of different knives and guns. And, he figured the duffel bag Seifer carried wasn't filled with clothes.

"Seifer..." He trailed off. Because they knew each other so well, even after all the many downs of their recent relationship, all his questions about Seifer's many, many weapons came out in that one single word.

"Later," Seifer said shortly. He shouldered the sniper rifle and kept Hyperion out, starting to walk slowly through the ravine, back towards the old prison buildings. Squall silently followed him, and Seifer periodically looked over his shoulder to make sure he was walking okay. Squall was probably quite hurt, but he wasn't letting it show. Seifer admired him for it.

They didn't say a word to each other as they made their way to the old bunker buildings on the outskirts of the prison's land. Squall and Seifer crouched low, pressing themselves flat against the ground on a bluff overlooking the buildings. They didn't need to speak, and quickly fell into that familiar old pattern they had back in their Garden cadet days. Back when Squall was completely oblivious that his most heated rival would come to completely own his heart.

Seifer pulled out a pair of binoculars from one of the pockets in his cargo pants and looked down at the scene. He silently handed them to the man beside him. Squall looked through the binoculars, and saw Luchia and Astor talking to a man Squall didn't recognize. There was an air of familiarity to the conversation, so he guessed this mystery man was SeeD. He tried to read their lips, but it wasn't a skill he possessed. Squall looked over to Seifer for what to do next. He found it easy to defer to the other man, especially when his thought processes felt so sluggish from the injuries and blood loss. He was surprised to find that Seifer was already setting up a tripod for his sniper rifle, and aiming the gun. He'd done it completely silently, like this was something he did all the time. Alarm bells might have gone off in Squall's head if the situation weren't so dire, and if he weren't really, really grateful for him being armed to the teeth.

"Shit," Seifer hissed under his breath, pulling up on the gun, rising. "They're getting in a car." He quickly bounced up to his feet like a spring. "I'm betting Astor and Luchia are the best trained out of the lot, so this will make it easier to get Quisty."

"Are we just going to let them go?" Squall asked incredulously. He knew it was right to put Quistis first, but Astor and Luchia _had_ just tried to kill him.

Seifer didn't answer. He signalled wordlessly for Squall to go around the other way when they reached a fork in the bluff's path. They would come from both sides and set up an ambush. 'Go for Quisty', Seifer mouthed. Squall nodded and saw Seifer charge up a fire spell in his palm, Hyperion out as he walked purposely around the bend in the path. Squall hurried as quietly as he could around to the back of the building. There were a trio of opponents guarding the back of the building. Squall snuck up behind them, and let out a powerful wave of magic that left him feeling woozy. He was brutally forced into sharp clarity by a strong jolt of electricity right to the center of his back.

His vision turned smeary black and white, and he looked over his shoulder as he was falling to see Astor standing there, victory glittering in his cold, black eyes. Squall rolled his eyes up to see Astor's foot coming towards his face. He tried to roll away, but his body wasn't responding, and he caught a heavy toe right in the chin.

"You think you're being a hero?" Astor asked. He didn't even sound amused. Maybe it would have been better if Squall heard sadism in his voice, instead of that horrible, empty nothingness. "You're just being predictable."

Squall tried to call up Shiva, but was too weak to summon a corporeal form. Instead, he only felt cold wind tickling him like a useless breeze. He kicked Squall in the chin again, and then jerked when there was a loud explosion from the front of the building. Squall rolled away, and felt like the world flipped on her axis.

"Ambush," Luchia's voice came through the radio on Astor's hip. "They must have called for help."

The first flicker of worry came across Astor's angular face. "Who? Other SeeD?"

"Unknown, I can't--" Luchia's voice was drowned out by a deafening explosion. The smoke plumed up into the sky, black and thick, and Squall could feel it vibrating the ground underneath him.

"Luchia!" Astor called. "Luchia, respond." He waited a beat. The distraction of the explosion made him take his eyes off Squall, and the brunette used the chance to fire at Astor from the semi-automatic he'd stolen. His aim was quite off because he couldn't focus and was struggling madly to not pass out. Rock exploded nearly two feet away from Astor's head, but Squall kept firing, bullets whizzing past Astor before one finally got him in the leg.

Astor yelped and fell to one knee. He shot a powerful aero spell from his palm, hitting Squall in the chest and sending him flying into the rock. Squall turned his body mid-air so he wouldn't hit the cliff face first, and fired a couple more bullets. He heard a grunt of pain as he grazed Astor's shoulder. As he crashed into the rocks, he saw Astor start running, but not before he charged the air with powerful magic, and summoned his GF, Siren. He could hear her music, beautiful and deadly. He tried to blot it out, but he was slipping under a sea of magic, Astor getting away like a coward.

The music turned awful, screeching and hideous, and it snapped Squall out of his suffocating sleep. The horrible wailing was actually Siren's voice, hissing aggressively at the large dark form in the sky. With a bone-rattling quake, Bahamut's huge dragon body came down to the ground, standing between Siren and Squall's prone form. Bahamut snapped his jaws at Siren's face. She reared back, feathers flying into the air. Her hands and feet, looking much uglier than Squall was used to when he'd cast her before, lashed out at the dragon's hard, scaled muzzle, and she pelted him with magic. Was this ugly harpy Siren's true form? Squall tried to follow what was going on - it wasn't every day you got to see Bahamut and Siren in a knockdown fight, but he couldn't stay conscious anymore.

Bahamut flapped out his great wings to allow Seifer passage around Siren. The tall blonde ran past the GF, the pressure of the magic actually pulling Seifer towards it, like it had its own gravitational pull. He was knocked to his knees by a ground shaking roar from the dragon king, but finally made his way to Squall, who was passed out. Seifer cast a couple cure spells, but he didn't stir. So, Seifer picked him up, strapping Lionheart to his own back. Squall was a lot heavier than he looked, and it was awkward holding him and trying to keep a weapon out at the same time.

"Come on, wake up," Seifer muttered impatiently as he started running as fast as he could towards the building that Quistis was being held in. He knew he had no time. "Hyne's curse, Squall! Wake up!" He growled. Luchia and Astor had taken off in a Galbadian army issued SUV, running away like rats from a sinking ship. They would contact Garden, and they'd have every SeeD on roster coming after them. Seifer knew he needed to get Squall and Quistis and get as far away from here as possible.

As he dashed towards the building, Seifer again cast cure magic on the other man, until he heard a faint groan. "Wake the hell up, Squall. I can't carry you like this." He threw his shoulder into the door of the maintenance hut, stumbling into the blackened area, hulking and disused machinery creating large shadows. Seifer had to unceremoniously drop Squall to the floor so he could have his hands free to return the gunfire that met him. "Quistis!" He shouted. "If you can hear me, make noise!" It was too dark to really see who he was firing on, and he sure as fucking hell didn't want to kill her by accident. He heard gunfire from behind him. Squall had come to, and was emptying his magazine from the ground, still too woozy to stand.

When the loud ring of bullets stopped, Squall and Seifer still kept their weapons aimed, waiting to see if anyone else would pop out. Siren and Bahamut could still be heard outside. "Quisty?" Squall asked into the darkness. Seifer cupped a bright fire spell in his gloved palm, holding his hand out so he could look around for a light source of some kind. He found one on the wall and flipped it open. The shed was filled with blindingly bright fluorescent light, and both men groaned as their eyes stung and started to focus.

"Quisty!" Seifer called quietly, seeing her laying sprawled on the floor, half pinned under a dead man wearing Galbadian army fatigues. Seifer kicked the corpse off her, noticing with a sinking stomach that his pants were down, and Quistis's own had been torn and knifed away from her pelvic region. Her face was battered, and her torso was covered in blood from a huge bleeding gash that went from ribcage to pubic bone. "Quisty!" He whispered, casting healing magic on her.

She snorted and gasped, waking up in an instant, immediately jerking away. Black mist poured up from her body, forming a bevy of bats. Their mass of flapping, black leathery wings was so strong that it numbed Seifer's face, and they came together to form the massive black body of Diablos. The demon only regarded Seifer for a moment, looking at him with hellish eyes that stared right through Seifer's skin and muscle. Then, he flew out of the room like a missile, heading towards the magical battle raging outside.

Quistis felt hands on her, and screeched and started punching whatever she could get her fists on. Seifer caught her wrists in a firmer grip than he would have wanted, but she was fighting him hard. "Quisty, it's me. It's Seifer! Stop, stop. It's okay! It's me."

Her fighting became more feeble, but she was still shouting and screaming. It became a wail as Seifer's arms came around her. Slowly, as he whispered in her ear, her wrestling ceased, and she started panting and sobbing. She could feel cure magic flowing through her body from his own.

Squall stumbled over, and collapsed beside them to all fours, balling his fists against the cement floor. He reached out and touched Quistis's blood-matted hair. She jerked at the contact, but then relaxed when she knew it was Squall. She knew she was safe with them. Right now, that's the only thing she knew.

"You think you can stand?" Seifer asked, pulling away and looking into her face. He cupped her chin and looked into her eyes clinically.

"What are you doing here?" Quistis whispered. She couldn't help the large swell of tears that was overcoming her.

"I was just in the neighbourhood," he answered dryly. "Hand me his pants," he said to Squall, pointing at one of the dead bodies, somewhat comparable to Quistis in size.

"Here," Squall whispered, as gentle as she'd ever heard his voice. The pants were baggy, so Squall helped put them on right over the ruins of Quistis's other pants and chaps, as well as her boots. She tried to swallow back sobs in big, noisy gulps.

"We have to get out of here. Now." Seifer quickly got up and went to the door. "Get ammo and weapons from them. I'll get a vehicle."

He stopped when a thick cloud of bats came flying towards him, passing right by him, into the maintenance shed towards their mistress. Bahamut landed silently, remarkable for his massive size, in front of Seifer, then hovered beside him with great flaps of his wings as Seifer started looking at the vehicles. Most got badly damaged in the explosion.

"Siren's been dispatched," Bahamut answered aloud, majestic voice echoing and multi-layered, mouth not moving. "Her master fled spinelessly."

"To get reinforcements," Seifer muttered, looking into the backseat of one army truck that looked like it would at least start up, and it had enough room for Quistis and Squall to lay in the back. He opened the hatch in the back, and started searching it for weapons or useful items. Talking to Bahamut, and having a huge dragon floating right beside him like some kind of gargantuan dog just didn't seem strange to Seifer at all. But, he didn't have time to reflect on this instant connection. "Take a rest," he told the slate-coloured dragon. "They'd be able to feel your power a hundred miles away."

Bahamut nodded and vanished. Seifer had left Raijin's car a mile away and continued by foot, and Squall and Quistis were way too injured to walk back that far. Not to mention they just didn't have time for that. Seifer crawled in under the steering wheel and started hotwiring the vehicle. When the engine roared to life, he sat up and saw Squall half-carrying Quistis towards the utility vehicle. Her face was ashen from the blood loss.

"Get in the back," Seifer told them. "There are rifles in that bag there, in case Astor and Luchia come back with more SeeD." Seifer barely waited until they were inside before he peeled away, spinning the truck around, heading southeast. He travelled around the Galbadian desert sometimes for study, so he knew where all the radar traps were. He would gun the engine as fast as it would go until he hit one, then slowed down to the speed limit. The last thing they needed right now was to get pulled over.

"I don't think Astor and Luchia would go back to Garden. They must have been rogue," Squall guessed, sitting up. He didn't try to crawl into the passenger seat, but he did sit right up against the side of the driver's seat, as close to Seifer as he could get without interfering with his concentration on the road.

"Xu," Quistis muttered. She was staring up at the ceiling of the truck, angry tears spilling down from the corners of her bloodshot sapphire eyes.

"She knew?" Squall asked sharply. Quistis just continued to stare up, and Seifer kept his eyes on the road, driving at dangerous speeds. But, he didn't seem very surprised.

"She planned it. She planned everything." Quistis felt like her heart was a seeping wound. "She planned to ruin us."

"_Why_?" Squall demanded. "How do you know?"

"She talked to me in a video conference." Quistis tried to ignore the sharp pains in her stomach, intensifying every time they hit a rough spot in the road. "She wants to be Headmaster, and sees us as a threat to that."

"That doesn't make sense," Squall muttered.

Quistis didn't say anything else. Squall tried to wrap his head around the fact that Xu had just ordered a hit on her best friend. And, around the fact that Seifer was carrying an entire gun store around. Or, what they were going to do. Could they call Selphie or Zell for help? Or... Rinoa? She probably didn't ever want to see him again, and he wouldn't exactly blame her. He leaned against the side of the driver's seat, his eyelids starting to feel heavy. He watched Seifer's profile intently, eyes periodically closing. His entire world was crashing down around him _again_, but it somehow felt okay with Seifer there.

---

Xu picked up her phone after the first ring, her fingers tingling with anticipation. "Yes?" She was anxious to hear Astor or Luchia's voices, and wasn't disappointed when her male assistant spoke.

"They got away."

All Xu's euphoria at finally having the Headmaster's seat in her grasp went out of her in an ugly whoosh. "What?" She snapped.

"There was an ambush. They must have called for reinforcements."

"So why didn't you get rid of their reinforcements?" Xu demanded. She was holding the phone so tightly that the plastic was creaking under her grip. This could not be happening. Not now. She was so close to having a chance at leading Garden, at making Garden so much better, more efficient. She'd just sacrificed Quistis, something she hadn't initially planned on doing, and did deep down feel bad about. Even though it had been necessary.

"Whoever it was caught us by surprise. They were also junctioning Bahamut with a level of power I've never seen before."

"Spare me your fucking excuses," Xu hissed, mind already reeling. She started pulling open drawers in her desk, and yanking out various items. "Who the hell was it, anyway?"

"We didn't see them."

"You fucking stupid bastard," Xu cursed him out. She pulled on a pair of gloves, then took out a file of paperwork, and a box containing a drinking glass, carefully wrapped in cheese cloth. "Get your useless asses back to Garden. And, you better look like you were jumped and beaten within an inch of your life. I don't care if you have to kick the shit out of each other to make it happen." She slammed the phone back down in the cradle, already putting Plan B into motion.

"Well Xu, the only way to have it done right is to not rely on morons. Just do it yourself," she murmured under her breath, putting the drinking glass in one of her SeeD jacket pockets. She held the file folder in front of it so nobody would notice the bulge. She purposely stalked down the hallway from her office, rapping on Cid's office door.

"Come in, come in!" His voice boomed jovially through the door.

Xu cleared her face of all anger, and strode it with a breezy smile. "Good afternoon, Headmaster. Do you have a few minutes to go over these forms I have?"

Cid's smile wilted a little. "Oh... yes, sure. You know how much I dislike paperwork, Xu."

"Yes, I do know." She gave him a wink. "You don't mind if I get a drink while we go over these?"

Cid gestured to the decanters lined up on a desk. "Go ahead."

Xu took one of the glasses there, and poured some water. Looking over her shoulder to make sure Cid wasn't looking in her direction, she pulled the hidden glass out of her pocket, as well as a vial she kept on her at all times. She poured some water into the brought glass as well, then deftly dropped some of the liquid from the vial in with the water. She plunked the doctored drink in front of the Headmaster, and sipped from her own water as she sat down and handed him the file folder. "I poured one for you, too."

"Oh, thank you." Cid adjusted his glasses and started to read the files. "Oh, I also have some paperwork for you to sign. Just some new mission contracts." He handed her a heavy stack. "Probably should have gotten to it a couple of days ago."

"It's fine," she lied. She could feel a vein in her temple starting to throb, so she hid it by resting her fingers there as she read. His mission proposals were like verbal diarrhea. No wonder Garden couldn't even catch one fucking assassins cell. Garden would be far better off without him at the head. He was a cancer.

"All of your paperwork is always so organized," he complimented, signing a few of them. But, still not drinking his water. Xu tried not to keep looking over at it, but it was getting harder with each passing minute. Minutes that Squall and Quistis were using to escape. And, now Quistis knew that Xu had ordered her to die. Xu tried not to start panicking, and had to bite down hard on her lip as she pretended to read. She could feel sweat trickling down her spine. She'd wanted to be honest with Quistis at the end. Xu felt that she at least owed her that, and look where it got her. This wasn't a backup plan that she'd wanted to use, but she'd set things in motion long ago, and it couldn't be undone. She rather felt trapped by her plans, but as long as the outcome was Garden becoming a better organization, which _would_ happen under her control, anything she did to get there would work out in the end. Even hunting her best friend like a dog.

Xu's lips broke into a huge smile when Cid finally took a drink from the water glass Xu'd hidden in her desk for weeks. "Thank you," Xu said brightly. Even having to read Cid's bastardized legalese seemed like heaven now that the poison she'd dropped into the water would be running through Cid's body. She had regrets about what she'd done to Quistis, but there were none now. Cid had become the bane of her existence. Not only because he kept overlooking Xu as the most capable to take over as Headmaster, but also because he was such a bumbling, spineless, weak fool.

Cid blinked a couple of times, shaking his head as the poison within him started to take effect. He took another drink of water as he suddenly got a hot flash, unknowingly making things worse.

"Something wrong, Headmaster?" Xu asked. She could see his face starting to turn grey under a thickening layer of sweat.

"Suddenly... suddenly I'm not feeling... I'm not fee-feeling so well, Xu..."

"That's too bad," she replied with complete insincerity. She rose to her feet as Cid flopped back in his chair, eyes rolling into the back of his head.

"Xu... I can't... I can't see..." His tongue was starting to feel thick and fat in his mouth, and fire was coursing through his entire body.

"Yes, I know. That's just the arsenic doing its work." She leaned against the edge of the desk beside him, looking into his face. "I wouldn't have had to do this if you would have just made me Headmaster, instead of insisting on Quistis and that fucking drunk."

Cid was starting to pant and struggle for air. When she leaned over him, he tried to lunge at her, but it was really only his brain feebly trying to send commands to his body. All he wound up doing was jerking a little in his chair. He was starting to foam at the mouth.

"You making me kill my best friend. _You're_ the one that's killing her," she hissed. "You think I wanted that? All you had to do was _notice me_!" Her voice became a growl.

"Never..." He struggled to whisper. Bubbles of thick saliva burst at his mouth. He started seizing as the poison took control of his heart.

"Never?" Xu echoed, feeling a little like she'd been punched in the gut. Had his snubbing of her been deliberate? "Well," she said, regaining her composure as she stood. She wiped the front of her uniform as if she were wiping clean what she'd just done. "It's going to happen now, and you don't really have a say, Headmaster."

His only response was to utter a death rattle, body slumping in the chair, void of life.

"I don't care what you say," she told his still-warm body. "I'll be a good Headmaster. I will." Xu continued to do paperwork, letting Cid's body cool and stiffen. With him dead, the whole process really did go more smoothly and she got quite a bit done. She properly filed everything away so it would look like it had been that way for days. After checking her watch to make sure enough time passed, she looked up at the ceiling, and started to will tears to come. It wasn't that hard to make herself cry. She actually thought of the burning lasers of Quistis's glare, reducing her and stripping her bare. The tears then came freely, so much so that she started sobbing. "It's for the best," she told herself, believing it wholeheartedly.

She then dashed out of Cid's office, shouting at the top of her lungs. "We need help here! Something's happened to the Headmaster! Help!" She cried, running down the halls, masking her victory with panic. "HELP!"

"Xu, what's wrong?" One of the mathematics instructors asked, coming out of a conference room. People were starting to run towards the sound of the shouting. She kept scanning the crowd, and when she saw Zell's spiky blonde hair, she ran towards him and threw herself into his arms, sobbing into his broad, hard chest. She needed to completely finish swaying him and the others now to believe the worst about Quistis and Squall, or her plan would fall in shambles.

"Xu, what happened?" Zell asked with gentleness in his voice that he rarely showed because he was too busy being a loudmouth. It was a quality that a lot of people actually found endearing. Xu wasn't one of them.

"C-C... Cid," she moaned, looking up at him as pitiably as she could. "He's dead."

"Dead?!" Zell blustered loudly. Every head turned towards him, and the echoes of 'dead?' rang throughout the hallways.

"Get Dr. Kadawaki!" Someone shouted. "And, call Edea Kramer!"

"Here, sit down..." Zell led Xu into the nearest empty conference room, and gently pushed her down in a chair. "Drink this." He pushed a bottle of water in her hands.

"What happened?" She heard a voice asked that numbed her to her toes. Nida. Her beautiful Nida. Who would completely be hers now. Quistis wasn't going to be an issue between them anymore.

"Cid's dead," Irvine murmured. He'd poked his head into the office, and saw the Headmaster sitting in chair, eyes white and rolled back, foam crusting at his mouth. "Looks like he was poisoned."

"Poisoned?" Nida asked quietly.

"Here you guys are!" Rinoa exclaimed quietly, poking her head into the room. Her eyes were really red-rimmed, but this awful situation made her forget all about her own problems. "It's not... is it true?" She asked Irvine, barely a whisper.

He gave one, slow nod. "Doc Kadawaki just went in with Selphie and the rest of the security team. Like I said, I'd bet my life it was poison."

"Who would want to poison him?" The Sorceress asked helplessly. Fresh tears were starting to come, but these ones were all for Cid, instead of over Squall. "Poor Edea. She'll be devastated."

"Well, it has to be SeeD," Nida guessed. "Cadets can't access this part of the building, unless they're being _really_ ambitious."

"You're thinking SeeD?" Rinoa asked, shaking her head. "I can't believe someone here would want to kill the Headmaster."

"It might have been the Solar System," Xu answered stuffily, wiping her cheeks. Zell was crouched beside her chair, stroking her arm. "I knew they had someone in Garden."

"You think?" Irvine asked, voice showing his high scepticism.

"They probably know that we're getting closer to catching them. Getting Cid out of the way would send this place into chaos."

Irvine's eyes narrowed further with each of her words. "Nah... I don't think that's it."

"How can you be sure?" Zell asked. "I'd sooner believe that than one of us trying to poison Cid."

"...just a feeling," was all Irvine would say.

"Xu?" Selphie poked her head in the conference room. She had her head of security badge pinned to her bright orange quilted vest. "I know this is hard, but I need to ask you some questions." She looked to all her friends. "Alone, please."

Zell bolted to a standing position. "Right. Sure. I'll just be right outside, okay?" He leaned down and kissed the top of his girlfriend's head.

She nodded. "Thanks."

"Has anyone called Matron?" Irvine asked of his former lover.

Selphie nodded. "Yeah. Doc says he was definitely poisoned, but they're going to do an autopsy and a tox screen, and they're looking for fingerprints right now. It had to have been a SeeD, so any prints will be on file."

"We'll let you get to work." Nida put a hand on Irvine and Rinoa's shoulders and gently nudged them out of the room. "I wonder if I should try to call Quistis," he wondered once they were in the hallway. "You tried to call Squall?"

Rinoa shook her head. "Uh uh." She hadn't told anyone about their break up, or the reasons behind it. She herself could still scare wrap her head around it.

They decided to wait around to find out what Selphie had to say, and to show moral support for Xu. Zell was doing his usual nervous pacing, hands stuffed in the back pockets of his SeeD slacks. Or, he'd start shadowboxing and think better of it, and then just start playing with the buttons on his bright tropical print shirt.

"You're looking awfully thoughtful," Nida commented lowly in Irvine's ear. The other man was running his thumb and index finger across the brim of his hat, staring into a singular point far in the distance. "You never look this lost in thought unless you're thinking about sex."

"Just... thinking."

"Something feels funny to you too, right?" Nida asked, so quietly that nobody else could hear him. Except for Rinoa.

She'd also been in deep concentration, trying to gain control of her emotions, and in turn, her magic. She was so upset about Cid's death, and about her last conversation with Squall, that her emotions were like a bubbling volcano, and all that energy wanted to come forth in a massive explosion. She found that when she was concentrating on her magic as much as she was now, it seemed to heighten her senses, including hearing. The tone of Nida's voice seemed to indicate he was sceptical somehow. It came off his aura, too. She had the great urge to go to him and ask him about it, but then the conference room door opened and Selphie came out.

"It's okay to go back in," she told Zell, who bolted like a flash back into the room to be with Xu.

"Well?" Nida asked impatiently of the diminutive SeeD. Irvine was uncharacteristically silent.

"Xu said that she found Cid like that when she went into his office to get him to sign some paperwork. There was a glass on the table in front of him, half-empty. We're going to analyze what water's left, and check the glass for prints. Actually, we should get a hit really fast if there are prints on it, since they would _have_ to be SeeD. No civilian could have gotten past all the checkpoints into the building."

"What if it was a cadet?" Nida asked.

"Unlikely. You need key cards to get up to this level. So, even if it was a cadet, they would have had to steal a SeeD's card, or had help. Xu thinks it was a member of the Solar System who's SeeD. If that's true, we'll have caught them for sure. But, most SeeD wear gloves around all the time, so maybe there won't be prints..." Selphie scuffed her feet on the carpet. "But..."

"But what?" Rinoa asked, crossing her arms nervously.

"We checked Cid's appointment books. His last appointment was with... Squall and Quistis, before they left for their mission."

"What are you saying?" Rinoa asked, heart lurching.

Selphie didn't answer for a long time. "I... I don't know."

"Yeah you do," replied Irvine, eyes unreadable within the shadow his hat cast across them. "You're thinking you're going to find one of their prints on the glass."

"Oh, come on!" Nida scoffed. "Neither of them would kill the Headmaster."

"Well... maybe rehab didn't work again for Squall. Hyne knows what he got addicted to when he was on that three-week bender. And, Quistis what about Evan Phaighn?"

"I don't believe this," Nida muttered under his breath, walking away from the conversation in disgust.

"I think rehab worked this time," Rinoa murmured. "Besides, they aren't murderers!"

Selphie frowned, looking so un-Selphie like. "Rinoa, to be completely fair, all SeeD are killers."

The Sorceress really didn't know how to respond to that. It's something that she sometimes forgot, living here in Garden. Nearly everyone here had killed at least one person. Even Rinoa. She'd helped kill Ultimecia. Though Ultimecia may have been a horrible example of it, she'd still been a human being.

"Selphie!" A security team member called, poking her head into the hallway. "Come here!" She added with urgency.

"Gotta go." Selphie ran off back to the crime scene. "Chairman," she greeted in passing. One of the Chairmen who sat on the board of directors of Garden was walking down the hallway, flanked by two officials.

"Is Miss Fuu Wong in there?" He turned to Rinoa, respectfully inclining his head to her. "Sorceress Rinoa."

"Hello," she mumbled into her dark green silk shirt.

"Yes, Sir." Irvine gave a SeeD salute, watching with curiosity as the Chairman went in, closing the door behind him.

"What do you think they want?" Rinoa asked, peering up into Irvine's face.

"Probably to make Xu acting Headmaster until an official vote on a replacement can be made." This guess was only cemented further was Zell came out of the room again, the door closed almost immediately behind him.

"Poor Xu," sympathized Rinoa. "To have all this heaped on her at once must be hard."

"She's strong," Zell pointed out. "If anyone can handle it, she can. She'll probably be a kick ass Headmaster. But... to get the job this way... It's horrible." He shook his head.

"Yeah," Irvine echoed hollowly. "Horrible."

---

Squall and Quistis tried to not even breathe as they hid under a tarp in the flatbed of a pick-up truck, shivering in the night air. Since leaving the Galbadian desert, they'd switched cars twice, once at a rental shop on the highway, and once having stolen this truck out of a parking lot. Squall was sure they'd switch again here in Timber. Squall knew that Esthar was the only safe place for them, but he didn't know how they would get there. There were probably Garden officials watching the railroads by now. But, they were sure Seifer had some sort of plan. Right now, he'd left them to get supplies.

Under the tarp, Quistis reached out and squeezed Squall's hand. She could taste her heartbeat on her tongue. She couldn't remember the last time she'd been this scared. Not even during the whole Ultimecia thing. At least then, she'd had friends to back her up, and Garden was a safe haven. Now, the three of them were completely alone. And, one of her best friends had betrayed her so thoroughly.

Both stiffened and caught their breaths in their throats when they heard someone approaching the truck. "It's okay," the heard Seifer murmur quietly as he opened the driver's side door. The truck roared to life, and they felt themselves being blindly driven to... somewhere. They could hear traffic sounds all around them, and train whistles in the distance. Neither dared to move a muscle, because if someone happened to look and saw motion, it could be game over. All they could do was hold each others hands tighter.

After a tense fifteen minutes, they felt the truck slow, and the sound of some mechanical engine whirring. The engine stopped, and they heard the car door open and close. "It's safe," Seifer's voice assured.

Squall sat up and threw the tarp off him and Quistis, breathing deeply of fresh air. They saw they were in some kind of one-car garage, and the mechanical noise had been the garage door closing.

"Where are we?" Squall asked, helping Quistis out of the back of the truck. She stumbled, and had to lean against the truck's side just to stand. The cure magic was starting to wane, and the deep wound was bleeding freely once more.

"A safe house in Timber. We'll stay here for a day or so, get you two patched up. Can you take these?" He gave Squall half a dozen shopping bags to carry. Seifer pulled out his wallet and went to the door that led into the bungalow the garage was attached to. He took out what looked like a Timber public library card, and put it to a scanner box where there should have been a doorknob. Squall and Quistis watched quizzically as the little grey device started beeping quietly. "Fuck, I hope there's nobody else in here..." Seifer muttered quietly, but loud enough that the other two could hear him.

A light on the scanner turned yellow, and Seifer took off a glove and pressed his thumb into the middle of the scanner. It beeped again, then the light turned green. They could hear some sort of mechanical lock release and click. Seifer opened the door, and ushered the pair of them inside. When the door was closed behind them, it automatically locked once more.

Seifer flipped on a light switch, dropping his many bags on the ground. Inside looked like a normal house, except that instead of a dining area, there was a gurney, IV stands, and various medical monitors.

"What is this place?" Squall asked.

"Quisty, you lay down on there." He gestured to the gurney. "I'll get you first, then stitch up Squall's wounds."

"Tell us where we are first," she demanded. "What do you mean by 'safe house'? How come it's all locked electronically?"

"Sit down. You need to be stitched up before you bleed too much more." He gestured to her stolen pants, the waistband already quite bloodied.

She did, saying "okay, I'm sitting. Now, explain."

"A hideout that needs a thumbprint, and you're carrying around an arsenal of weapons. I can't see you being a government spy, so it's either mercenary" Squall guessed aloud. "Or, professional killer."

Seifer sighed. "This is one of the safe houses for the Solar System's agents. We'll be safe in here. For now, anyway. Take your boots off," he told Quistis gently.

"You're in the Solar System?" She spat out.

"Jupiter, at your service."

"Since when?" Quistis asked.

Seifer looked away from her. He hated the disappointment in her voice.

"Since just before I came to you looking for my transcripts."

"So... going back to school was all a cover...?"

The tall blonde couldn't help but laugh. "You sound more disappointed that I'm not actually studying than about me being an assassin." He couldn't look at Squall at all right now. He didn't want to see disappointment on his beautiful face. "Okay... did you get raped?" It was a question he hated asking her.

Quistis frowned deeply. "Tried to. The cut's from him trying to cut off my clothes."

"Penetration?"

She shook her head, as embarrassed as he was.

"Okay. I'll close it up for you. You can take your own pants off." He went to an armoire, and opened it to reveal it was full of medical supplies. He pulled out stuff he needed, and put it on a metal cart with wheels. "You wanna act as nurse?"

Squall nodded, trying to catch Seifer's gaze, but the blonde was having none of that.

"Syringe, please." Seifer handed out his free hand, encased in a latex glove, requesting the local anasthesia. "At least while we're in here, no other members can come in."

"Do you know any of the other... planets, or assassins, or whatever?" Quistis asked. She wanted to direct conversation away from what was happening right now. She hated getting stitches, and really really didn't want to dwell on the fact that she was now in hiding because of her supposed 'dear friend'.

"No. I've never met any of them, and I've never met Sol. I only talk to him on the phone, and his voice is masked. Well, it could also be a woman. I only have contact with Pluto, Eris or Ceres." He kept quiet about the moment when he and Fujin had met each other as 'planets'.

"Are they assassins too?" Squall asked.

"Messengers, and Ceres is a doctor. I trust this information isn't leaving this room, correct?"

Both shook their heads.

"Can you angle the light here better, Squall?"

"But... what about you being on TV?" Quistis asked. "An act, too?"

He just shrugged.

"Well, it was a pretty darn good one. It was quite informative, and you and Raijin have good comedic timing," she rambled. But, it still didn't stop tears from pooling under her lashes. "Edea had all the Orphanage kids watch it, and they couldn't talk about anything other than tonberrys for days, and how they wanted them as pets, and how cool they thought you were."

"Maybe they wouldn't think I was as cool if they found out I'm someone who kills people solely for money." That comment killed the momentum of the conversation. "Squall, move the light to the left."

He did so. "What are we going to do?" Squall asked quietly.

"Esthar is the only safe place for you right now. It's lucky they voted down any Garden involvement there. Getting to Esthar isn't exactly going to be easy, though. I bet Xu has agents watching the Horizon rail line, and has people posted at Fisherman's Horizon and Esthar customs."

"So...?" Squall asked.

"We'll go through Centra." He patted Quistis's knee as he pulled away from her. "You can put those back on. I got you some new clothes, though. I'm not sure if they'll fit. I kinda just bought you the same size Fujin wears."

"You don't think they'll realize we might try to go through Centra, especially with Matron there?" Quistis asked, looking away from them as she put on a new pair of cargo pants that Seifer handed her.

"I know Centra better than they do. Besides, they don't know you're with me. That will buy us some time."

"Maybe not," Squall muttered, crossing his arms.

"Whaddya mean? You have any cuts that need antiseptic?"

Quistis nodded. "My elbow looks pretty deep. And, this one on my neck here."

"I told Rinoa the truth," Squall watched Seifer's reaction carefully.

"Your sense of honesty has really shitty timing," he grunted, masking the whirlwind of emotions that were suddenly overtaking him. Hope for him and Squall, but also worry that they may have lost any of their advantage. "Still... I do know Centra better than they do. I know all the hidden goat paths in the mountains. The biggest problem will be getting across the Lenown Plains, especially because it's so close to Good Hope, and they'll figure we'll go there."

"What about getting across the water?" Quistis asked. Talking about this was good. It distracted her. "You don't think that will be a bit" She hissed sharply as the antiseptic stung her cuts. "You don't think it will be a bit problematic?"

"Smugglers. If we pay them enough, they'll ship us to the Centran coast. They hate Garden as much as they hate any other official body of power. Okay, you're done. There's a bathroom with toiletries if you want a shower."

"Thanks," she mumbled miserably.

"I sent Fujin and Raijin to Esthar after I got your message to tell President Loire we were coming. And, that you were set up, but I don't think he'd need to be told that."

"You think they'll get there okay?" Quistis asked over her shoulder as she shuffled towards the bathroom.

"Yeah... I hope so." He couldn't hide his mounting concern. "They should get across the border before Garden can muster their troops. Xu would have planned on you dying, and making up any story she pleased about how it happened. But, Astor and Luchia would have told her by now you got away, so she'll need to regroup, and think of something to discredit you in the eyes of Garden."

"You mean discredit us further," the blonde woman hissed. "She was planning this all along. Planning to ruin us."

"To be fair, Squall ruined himself all on his own."

"Hey..." He trailed off sullenly.

"I bet... Hyne's spit, I bet she was behind that whole Evan thing. I bet she fucking paid him to sell those photographs. Or, maybe she paid him to come onto me in the first place."

"Maybe she had him killed, too." Seifer cocked his head. "Squall, get on the gurney."

"Maybe?" Squall echoed, taking off his now tattered leather jacket. The navy blue shirt underneath was caked with dried blood. "Definitely."

When Quistis closed and locked the bathroom door behind her, Squall and Seifer were left in a silence that was more awkward than any they'd ever shared before. Squall's entirety of skin tingled when Seifer placed his gloved fingertips with the most featherweight of touches. But, that wasn't the contact he wanted. He wanted to meet Seifer's gaze, which the blonde man was avidly avoiding. Squall winced when his wound was cleaned with antiseptic, then jabbed with the sewing needle. But, it didn't make him look away from Seifer's face.

"I wondered if you'd even come," Squall murmured. Normally he could handle a thick silence quite happily, but not this one. "Or, maybe that you'd delete my message as soon as you heard my voice."

Seifer didn't answer. Instead he concentrated on the wound. It was quite deep, but the magic had helped staunch any further bleeding.

"Seifer..."

The way Squall said it made Seifer look up. The firmness of the command that was also equally gentle pleading. "I dunno... I just knew something was wrong."

"Did you get my other message?"

"I didn't listen to it, if that's what you're asking," was the cool response, Seifer going back to concentrating on the stitches. "Any of them."

"The last one was before I went into rehab." Squall tried to tell himself that the tears growing in his eyes were because of the discomfort of getting stitches. "I sent one to Rinoa, too. And, I knew I had... to change things. That I would make a decision. But, I knew what I wanted before I went in there."

Seifer loved to hear Squall talk. His voice was soothing and as beautiful as the rest of him. Seifer counted himself _very_ lucky that Squall talked a lot more around him than he did with most other people. But, he still didn't know if he wanted to hear what Squall had to say.

"I broke up with her before the mission. I told her I..." Squall stopped himself from saying 'I love you', and instead said "wanted to be with you."

The silence wasn't what Squall wanted to hear.

"Seifer..."

He looked up from the stitches, staring hard right into the other man's face. "And, what about when you're back in Esthar? Will you still want me then? You have a penchant for falling in lust in life or death situations. When you're back among the world, will you just want to go back to her, and leave me behind?"

"I knew what I wanted before I went into rehab. It wasn't..." He wanted to say it wasn't lust. It was love.

"It was life and death for you," interrupted Seifer. "The rest of the world might have been doing fine, but for _you_, it wasn't."

"Then, why bother coming to help us?"

Seifer rolled his eyes and sighed in exasperation. "For Hyne's sake, Squall. Don't be so dramatic. I wasn't going to let you die, not when I could help it. Well... not _now_, anyway." He studied Squall's face, one so achingly familiar to him. "You know... I understand why Xu did what she did. I don't doubt that she loved Quistis very much at one point, maybe even still does. But, Quistis would have gotten everything that Xu wanted. Respect within Garden, a chance at being Headmaster. Nida. And, to keep seeing someone else get everything that maybe is rightfully yours, at least in your head... even if it's someone you love, it makes you bitter, and angry. And, it turns to hate really fast."

Squall felt the personal heaviness of those words. "So, you think she's justified? You think she's right?" He asked carefully. Was this Seifer's veiled way of saying his feelings for Squall turned into something ugly?

"No." Seifer snipped off the last stitch, and started to examine Squall's shoulder. Cure magic had done all the work on that injury. "But... I understand."

"I didn't mean to be the one that everyone looked to," Squall retorted, a bit defensively. He winced when Seifer touched a deep bruise on his cheek.

"I know." He looked into Squall's eyes for a while. "Looks like the old you is back. Morning Lake must have worked." He started swabbing antiseptic over a cut on Squall's forehead, having to brush a lock of hair out of the way. He tried not to show how even this small gesture affected him. But, given what their relationship was, he wasn't successful.

"Seifer?"

"Yeah?"

"Did I... Did I apologize for how I acted... last time?" Squall's cheeks started to burn pink with humiliation.

" ...yeah. You don't remember?"

"Some of it. It's all kind of blurry, and I can't remember anything after I left Esthar. I don't even know _how_ I left. The doctor said it's because I apparently dropped a bunch of angel dust."

"You're lucky you didn't die."

"Maybe I'll die this time instead."

"Ah, the old Squall Leonhart really is back. It's so you to be so depressing and mopey and socially maladjusted, even after pulling off some first-class badassery to stay alive."

Squall couldn't help but smirk. He reached up towards his face and covered Seifer's hand with his own, feeling the warmth of his skin, the delicate metacarpal bones, his veins, his long fingers calloused in the same way Squall's were under the latex. He was close enough to kiss...

When their faces were close enough they could feel the warmth of each other's breath, Seifer pulled away, rising to full height as he stripped off his gloves. "You might have a minor concussion. You should get some rest, but I'll wake you up periodically to make sure you don't go into a coma."

Squall knew he really didn't have the right to get frustrated by the rejection, but he was going to get frustrated anyway, dammit. "You are the most stubborn, pigheaded asshole ever."

"You don't really have ground to be pissed at me over this, Squall. And, way to be ungrateful." He gently knocked on the bathroom door. The shower was still running, and he was getting a little concerned. "Quisty? You okay?"

"Compared to what?" She asked weakly through the door.

"Want a new shirt?" He picked up one of the shopping bags. "Don't worry, I won't look. I'm too busy glaring at Squall because he's being a bitch."

The door opened a crack, and her arm came out to snatch the bag before the door was closed again.

"...Whatever. And, I'm not being ungrateful." Squall crossed his arms, mumbling out the last part.

"Get some rest while you can," Seifer muttered dismissively. He took up Hyperion, and started shutting off any lights they'd turned on as he went to the draped picture window to check the street outside.

"Is this about you admitting to us you're Jupiter?" Squall asked, not being brushed off so easily. Seifer couldn't hang up on him here, so he wasn't going to just give up. "You think that matters? You think I care?"

"Maybe I care."

Hearing Seifer say it that way made Squall's anger disappear. He recognized that trapped, defeated body language and tone of voice very acutely. He'd been living with himself for two years, or maybe even longer. Maybe his whole life. "You told me before that I should listen to myself. Do what _I_ want to do. But, you can't take your own advice?"

"It's different."

"No."

"If I had to choose between booze and Ultimecia, I'd so be at the bottom of a bourbon bottle."

"So, that's it then? She's just going to control your life until you die? This is what Seifer Almasy is going to be now? Where's the guy who risked his entire future because he wanted to follow some shady Galbadians up the Dollet communication tower?"

"That Seifer was a fool."

"So is this one. I just wish I knew why you were so afraid, because I really need you right now."

A muscle twitched in Seifer's jaw, which was like words to Squall. He knew that he was correct, that Seifer was afraid to talk to him about this. About _them_.

"I told myself I would never date a bi boy."

"Don't be glib," Squall snapped. "That can't be the reason."

"But, it is." Seifer turned away from the window and looked at Squall hard. "I can't give you what she can if you want Rinoa, or any other woman."

"_Nobody_ can give me what you can," Squall replied in an extremely quiet whisper. "And, you're not telling me the full truth. You just put your life at risk to save me, and you can't be honest?"

"Being a Sorceress's Knight was my dream for as long as I can remember," Seifer said monotonously, robotically as he looked out the window. "I wanted it so fucking bad. It was a stupid, childish, unrealistic dream. But, it was still _mine_." His voice shook. "And, to have it stolen from me..." He felt hotness growing behind his eyes. "You don't realize how much something like that destroys you. And, I I can't go through that again, Squall." He kept looking out the window, even when he could feel Squall standing in his personal space. Close enough to smell him. "It hurt when it was just sex... and, I don't want to feel what it would be like if I let myself love you, and you went back to her."

"You think it was just sex?" Squall asked, actually hurt. He stepped deep into Seifer's personal space, putting himself between the taller man and the window. Seifer still wouldn't look at him, so the brunette grasped the sides of Seifer's face, and forced eye contact. "It hurts that _this_ has to be one of the few times you don't know what I'm thinking."

Seifer tried to look away. He felt so naked an vulnerable in the sights of those cold ocean eyes. But, Squall wouldn't let him break the gaze. He held his hands firm on the sides of Seifer's face, and searched his eyes. He'd never looked into anyone's eyes so deeply as he did with Seifer. Ever. Even when they'd been at each other's throats, he'd never stared into another person's eyes and seen to such depths within them. And, even their life's fuck-ups seemed to be in unison. Both feeling utterly trapped by life, stuck in places they loathed, and places they never wanted to be. Squall, locked in self-destructive addiction, and Seifer locked in the idea that he was nothing more than Ultimecia's lapdog and a mindless killer.

Seifer wanted to believe what he saw in Squall's eyes so badly. It made his heart race to see love directed at him there. He'd known it was in there, from the language of Squall's body when they'd been together, but he'd wanted to ignore it because he was so afraid. And, his fear could have prevented him from seeing it forever. Seeing Squall look at him in a way he'd dreamed of for years, for almost as long as he'd dreamed of being a Sorceress's Knight. Squall could have died today if he'd been slower, or if he'd deleted that voicemail. And, Seifer would have never had the luxury of trying to ignore Squall's eyes silently saying the most intimate words two people could say to each other.

Hyperion clattered to the carpeted floor as Seifer possessively wrapped his arms around Squall and kissed him fiercely. Squall kissed him back with as much passion, a kiss equalling their first in Squall's Garden office. That first kiss where, in that split-second moment before their lips smashed together, Squall realized feelings for Seifer he'd never considered before. But, they must have always been there, and he'd only just been awakened to them. And now, in that split-second before they'd come together, Squall had felt more love than he'd ever thought himself capable of. It dwarfed anything he'd felt for Rinoa, even when his heart had ached with fear and love for her when she'd been lost in outer space.

As he ran his hands up Squall's back, Seifer was keenly aware that this kiss may never had happened for so many reasons, so he ignored his fear and committed every millisecond to memory. The lean definition of Squall's body under the ruined shirt he wore hadn't been there the last time Seifer had touched him like this. He'd been all skin and bones, on the verge of killing himself with booze and drugs. He could have easily died on his bender, completely oblivious to any dangerous thing he was doing. He could have gotten out of Morning Lake and decided he did want to be Rinoa's lover. He'd been so close to death tonight

Any of these things could have happened, and the last thing Seifer would have said to Squall was 'you don't have to bother locking up'. He'd told him he never wanted to hear from him again. And, Seifer would have gotten what he'd asked for, losing Squall forever but still having his fear, self-righteous anger and hurt pride. What would any of that have mattered?

Their embrace tightened, but became less forceful as their mouths opened to one another, tongues rolling together. It wasn't the kind of kiss that was going to lead to sex. Squall pressed his body flush against Seifer's - chest to chest, hips to hips, heartbeat to heartbeat. He could feel Seifer's hands shaking as they moved slowly up and down his back. His own fingers trembled in kind as they swept down Seifer's neck, and gripped his shoulders, slipping around them to hold the other man closer.

Also like the first time they kissed, Squall could feel Seifer starting to hesitate. Starting to pull away. But, Squall wouldn't let him. He held Seifer tighter and closer, feeling the stiffness in his posture starting to melt away. They both came up for air at the same time, lips breaking contact. Seifer reached up and brushed Squall's bangs off his forehead, then stroked his thumb across his cheekbone, studying his face as if he'd never looked at him before. Squall felt intensely scrutinized, but kept his eyes glued to Seifer's face, stroking his fingers through his short blonde hair.

Seifer leaned in and kissed him once, then buried his face in Squall's warm brown hair, auburn highlights fiery in the light through the curtains from the rising sun. He held Squall so tightly that the shorter man's feet were briefly lifted off the ground. Seifer was one of the few people that Squall really _wanted_ to hug, so he greedily completed the embrace. He rested his chin on Seifer's broad shoulder, cheek pressed into the warmth of his neck. "I'm sorry," he whispered into Seifer's ear. He wasn't really sure exactly what he was apologizing for, but there was a laundry list of things it could have been.

"Don't," Seifer whispered back. His anger about their last confrontation was leaving him like a great gust of air, and he didn't care about apologies right now. All he cared about was holding the man he'd loved for so long that he couldn't remember when he'd started.

Quistis leaned against the wall, having come out of the bathroom. She felt emotionally raw and drained, having cried more tears than her body should have been able to hold. She'd given Xu nothing but her love, friendship and loyalty, and she'd been rewarded with having everything taken away from her. But, even in this black emotional place, she smiled at what she was seeing. The way Seifer and Squall were holding each other. It was the kind of embrace that came out of deep love, so even this horrible situation could have something really good come out of it. And, it made her realize that Xu didn't steal everything. She silently slipped into the bungalow's only bedroom to give them a moment of privacy and happiness. She was certain it would be the last they could have like that in a while.

She lay out on the bed, trying to ignore the itchiness of her new stitches. But, of course since she was thinking about it, the itch only got stronger so she had to ball her hands into fists. She stared up at the ceiling, and thought of how far away Esthar really was from Timber. Being a SeeD, international barriers seemed like nothing. They could just take the train, or a boat or just fly Garden. But, on foot? With an entire mercenary organization after them? Esthar may as well have been on the moon.

It wasn't long before she wasn't alone. She could hear the shower start running, and then Seifer came into the bedroom. He started checking out the window, and organizing things in the bags of things he'd purchased. He pulled out a map, and started looking at it, sitting on the bed beside Quistis. He and Squall had allowed themselves a small moment of pleasure, but now it was back to business.

"It's nice..." She trailed off, still looking up at the ceiling with her hands folded on her sore belly. "You and Squall, I mean." She lolled her head to look at him.

"You were watching?" He asked, a lilt of amusement in the question. "You dog."

She lightly swatted him. "Are you..." She trailed off. "You know?"

"No, I really don't know."

"Together? Or, was it just a kiss?"

"I don't know," Seifer repeated, but this time with different meaning. "The future ain't exactly certain."

"If not now... when?" She asked with a measure of impatience.

Seifer opened his mouth, but really... what kind of response did he have? Whatever it was, it wasn't a very good one.

"You love each other, and _don't_ try to deny it, because it would be a lie. You should just be happy."

"You're getting a little incensed there, Instructor." His voice became gentle. "Maybe you're projecting about the situation with Nida."

"Our last conversation wasn't a pleasant one. Besides, I'm sure Xu's saying all kinds of horrible things about me to him. I kept pushing him away because I didn't want to hurt her feelings..." She suddenly felt very sick.

"If he doesn't believe in you, he's not worthy of you."

Quistis smiled sadly, looking at his handsome profile as he studied the map. "That was a very brotherly thing to say."

"Heh, wouldn't that be wild if we were actually related?" Seifer asked. "Who knows, it could happen."

"I always thought that you and Zell acted like brothers." Quistis grinned, briefly looking over as Squall came into the bedroom, skin shiny from the shower, eyes looking utterly exhausted.

"What? Oh, dear God no. You hear what she said to me?!" He asked of Squall as if she'd suggested the most horrible thing in the world. "Being related to that moron? I shudder to think."

"Zell would probably think it's equally horrible. And, now he'll think just as badly of me and Quisty."

"Wow. You're such a ray of sunshine, honey."

"You don't really think...?" Quistis trailed off sadly. It hurt to even think it, let alone say it out loud. "They wouldn't believe it, would they?" She implored Squall with her eyes as he sunk down on the bed on the other side of Seifer. "Selphie, Zell, Irvine and Rinoa?"

Squall didn't answer.

"Squall?" She demanded.

"Have they really been our friends lately?" He asked testily, laying down. He was so fucking tired in every facet of his being. Even just having to admit that about people he did consider to be his deepest, closest friends was exhausting. He reached out and found Seifer's wrist, encircling his fingers around it. It didn't seem weird to him in the slightest that he and Seifer were going to be sleeping together after some kind of wordless understanding, with Quistis right beside them. There were no awkward looks, no stammering about 'maybe it would be better to sleep all together because safety in numbers, you know'.

Seifer set his watch so the alarm would go off every hour for four hours, so he could wake up Squall and check on his possible concussion. He put Hyperion at the head of the bed, Squall and Quistis both sidling up to him and putting their arms around him like he was a life preserver. Because, right now he kind of was.

The strengthening sunlight coming through the drapes was briefly overmatched by the soft white light from Quistis casting a sleep spell on herself. She knew she needed the rest, and didn't want to let her mind and hurt feelings and fear combat that.

Squall found he didn't need magical assistance, and was jarred out of a surprisingly deep sleep after the first hour by Seifer gently shaking him. He grunted in irritated, brief ignorance as he nuzzled his body closer to Seifer's.

"When's your birthday?" Seifer quietly asked in his ear.

The question confused the other man's sleepy brain. "August 23rd," he answered, realizing that Seifer was making sure his thought processes weren't screwed up.

"What's 12 times 6?"

"72."

"How tall are you?"

"Five-eight."

"Hyne, you're short."

"Shut up," grumbled Squall into the front of Seifer's throat.

"Go back to sleep," the blonde man whispered gently, giving Squall a small kiss on the lips. The next three hours passed the same way. Squall being woken up, asked questions like how old his father was, names of old Garden Instructors, math and a couple algebra questions, and getting him to say simple sentences in other languages like Estharian, which Squall was beautifully fluent in unlike most people in the world, since Esthar had been so secluded. Seifer's own was rudimentary and rather accented. Then, Seifer would tell him to go back to sleep and give him a kiss. After the fourth hour, Seifer was satisfied that Squall's head was okay, and cast sleep magic on both of them. They needed a deep, dreamless sleep right now, for it could be their last chance.

---

The sun was bright and cheery, the sky cloudless outside the windows of Balamb Garden's largest conference room. It completely flew in the face of the room's mood. Grim, tense, ugly. SeeD were milled shoulder-to-shoulder together, some whispering to their neighbour, but most staying completely silent. Xu was sitting at the head of the table, flanked by Astor, Luchia, Selphie and her investigative team. Rinoa hung in the back of the room, the only non-SeeD present. She felt properly out of place, and stuck close to Irvine's side. Zell had his back to the room, staring out one of the windows towards the impossibly blue ocean, where the shadows of the islands that made up the Albatross Archipelago could be seen far in the distance. It was the stillest he'd ever been. No shadowboxing. No fidgeting. No shooting his mouth off.

"Can I have your attention everyone?" Xu asked calmly. But, nobody was concentrating on anything else.

"First off, I want to say I know how sorry we all are about Headmaster Cid. He was a kind, wonderful man and we all respected him greatly," she lied. "And, I hope to live up to him. It's with a heavy heart that my first task as Headmaster is to solve his murder."

"Murder?" A SeeD exclaimed. "So, it really _was_ a murder?"

Xu held her hands up. "Please, everyone This is going to be a very hard meeting, so I'd like to keep all the questions until the end, please," she said, not unkindly. "Yes, it was murder. Dr. Kadawaki confirmed arsenic in Cid's bloodstream, and it was also found in the glass he was drinking from. Captain Tilmitt's team also searched the office for evidence, and came across a second-party's fingerprints on that same glass. It was found that they belong to former Instructor, and SeeD Captain Quistis Trepe."

Gasps and profanity broke out across the room. Nida's bellow of "bullshit" was the loudest.

"Come on, seriously?" He asked, looking around the room at his fellow SeeD. "I don't believe it."

"I don't want to believe it either," Xu answered after looking at the man she loved for a few silent moments. "But, it was confirmed. Isn't that correct, Captain Tilmitt?"

Selphie nodded, uncharacteristically grim. The fact that she was in full SeeD uniform echoed the severity of the matter.

"Captain Trepe had a meeting earlier, before shipping off on her mission to the Galbadian desert with General Leonhart. She had a period of time alone with him, and Cid... he would have been..." She trailed off, making a show of composing herself. "It's lucky I found him when I did. Nida, you know that I hate saying these things about Quistis. She's my best friend, but the evidence is against her. We all know about her... personal problems lately, and she's currently suspected in a second murder. Not to mention the fact that lately her loyalties have all been towards General Leonhart, and we all know his conduct has been highly questionable in the past couple of years."

The room was uneasily silent. Nobody could argue that fact.

"And, the most damning evidence of all is the most recent, and the most disturbing. Several SeeD were sent on the mission to the Galbadian desert along with Trepe and Leonhart, and Majors Blackwell and Westfield are the only two to return. Quistis Trepe and Squall Leonhart have officially gone rogue."

The room erupted in horrified and disbelieving shouts and oaths. All the eyes in the room were taking in Luchia and Astor's heavy injuries. Luchia's face was nearly unrecognizable under all the bruising and swelling, and her arm was in a cast. Astor was leaning heavily on crutches, and there was a tensor bandage around his knee. He had a large, stitched gash on his cheek, and one eye was swollen shut. The noise only intensified when Xu brought some images up onto the room's large projector screen. It showed the dead SeeD, as well as the Galbadian mercenaries Xu'd hired.

"Not only do we see the dead SeeD, but there are also dead civilians. Mercenaries hired to help with this investigation because they knew the landscape best."

"This is insane," Nida whispered under his breath, so that only Rinoa and Irvine could hear him over the cacophony.

"Leonhart and Trepe escaped with the help of a third, unidentified party. We believe non-SeeD, and Westfield and Blackwell investigated the bodies of our fallen comrades, and confirmed that some of the bullet wounds were from a great distance, and highly accurate. We believe it was a professional sniper, and more than likely a member of the assassination cell, the Solar System."

Rinoa was clenching her fists so hard that her nails were cutting her palms. She could see a muscle in Irvine's jaw jumping, and that he was visibly grinding his teeth. Nida looked purely disgusted.

"Attention, SeeD!" Xu had to shout over the noise, which died almost immediately. "We do not know if this means either Trepe or Leonhart are a member of the cell, or if they know someone in the cell. But, I've suspected for some time that one of the members of the Solar System, or Sol themselves is SeeD. Perhaps Squall or Quistis is actually Sol, acting as a double-agent. Neither Major Blackwell or Major Westfield saw the third party, but we have compiled a list of people it could be. Topping the list is former Garden cadet, Seifer Almasy."

"Big surprise," someone hissed. "He's already a fucking killer!"

"We have no proof, but we've tried to get in contact with Almasy, and have been unsuccessful. We also received word from two of his professors at the University of Dollet. He did not show up for his morning classes. Trepe and Almasy are very close friends, and there is suspicion that he was also involved in the death of civilian Evan Phaighn. We are unsure of a further motive."

"Love..." Rinoa trailed off quietly. A few SeeD looked over at her.

"Love?" One echoed, which Xu heard.

"Sorceress Rinoa, did you say something?" Xu asked, making sure she had a respectful tone. "I asked you to come because I believe you have great insight into Squall's character over the last year or so. Do you know something?"

Rinoa pursed her lips, feeling hot inside. Angry. She didn't realize how foolish and angry she felt about the fallout of her relationship with Squall. How angry she was at him, and mostly at herself for not seeing the truth. For thinking she knew Squall. Could he have really been a killer all this time? Could she really not have noticed that he was the leader of a group of assassins? It's not like she noticed that he was in love with someone else, a man no less.

"Seifer would have helped them out of love."

"I thought he was gay?" Someone asked. "Is he in love with Quistis?"

"With Squall," she muttered. She willed hot tears not to fall from her eyes. "Before he left for Galbadia, Squall told me that he and Seifer had been having an affair for a while now. Squall said..." She trailed off. She just could _not_ say aloud that Squall had said he'd loved someone besides her. "He said it was over between us, because he wanted to be with Seifer."

A heartbeat could have been heard in the shocked silence. It stretched on for a really, really long time. Irvine, unsurprisingly, seemed to be the only person who wasn't flabbergasted. He had a way of sensing those kinds of sexual feelings in other people.

Xu felt her heart beating faster, but it was from joy. Something seemed to be going right. When she'd realized that someone outside Garden had helped Squall and Quistis escape, she'd suspected Seifer, and wanted to make him a villain too, if only because she loathed him so much. Now, the motive was just falling into her lap. She wanted to go over and hug Rinoa for it.

"Almasy, Trepe and Leonhart will have already gotten a good head start on us. We cannot let them escape. Not for what they did to their own people. But, especially because of the civilian deaths. And, if they really are with Almasy, we can bet there will be more innocent people caught in the cross-fire. I've already spoken to the Board of Directors, and we think the best direction is to ask the public for help in finding them."

The tension in the room was so thick, people felt they could barely breathe.

"It is with a heavy heart that I implement the Garden-wide mission - Operation: Mariposa. Mariposa's objective is the capture and execution of rogue SeeD Quistis Trepe and Squall Leonhart."


	9. Chapter 9

****

Chapter 09

"Sorceress Edea, thank you so much for coming," Xu greeted sombrely. She was about to have a press conference to tell the media about Squall, Seifer and Quistis being dangerous fugitives that needed to be captured at all costs, but first was having a meeting with the now widow Kramer, out of respect.

"Matron!" Zell exclaimed, going to her. He crouched beside her chair and took her hand, squeezing it lovingly. Selphie also went over to her and hugged her. Irvine hung back, taking off his hand in respect. Rinoa also hung back, sitting in a chair far from everyone else. Her magic was going haywire with all her emotions running wild, so she wanted to keep her distance.

"Will I be able to take my husband home?" Edea asked bluntly. Her way of dealing with this pain wasn't to weep or break down. It was to disconnect. She was used to pushing her own pain to the back burner, because her children needed her.

"Of course," Xu murmured. "Mrs. Kramer... you might not believe what I'm about to tell you, but your husband was murdered."

Edea didn't look as surprised as Xu thought she would. Actually, she looked like stone.

"And, well... it doesn't seem possible, but it does get worse."

Edea looked down at her hand when she felt Zell squeezing her hand harder than necessary. He looked pale and drawn, and she looked at the others, her children, around the room. And, noticed two absences.

"Quistis and Squall are suspects. The evidence is quite damning."

"Suspects?" Edea echoed. Inside she felt so numb, like something had been cut out. But, the cool trickle of sweat down her spine had nothing to do with her broken heart. "You're certain?" She briefly, sharply, looked over to Rinoa when she felt a crackling hot whip of uncontrolled magic rip through the air. Nobody else seemed to feel it. Edea could see that Rinoa was sweating with the effort to keep her sorcery in check.

"Very certain, Mrs. Kramer. Cid had a meeting with them before they left for Galbadia on a mission. I... I found him dead when I came to do some paperwork with him, and then I got word from Luchia Blackwell and Astor Westfield that Squall and Quistis have gone rogue. They killed fellow SeeD, and some Galbadian civilians hired to help with the geography of this particular mission. And... it looks like Seifer helped them do it. It's come to light that Squall and Seifer have been having an affair for quite some time, so we can only assume Squall would reach out to him for this."

"You found Cid?" Edea echoed, as if she'd ignored the rest of Xu's statement. "How did he die?"

"We found Quistis's fingerprints on a water glass laced with arsenic. There had been a lot of tension between Quistis and Cid lately, and Squall..." Xu spread her hands out, as if no explanation was necessary.

"And, as Headmaster, you're going to find the rogue SeeD?" Edea asked. "You really believe it?" She looked around to the others. She saw that they did, though she couldn't place Irvine's emotions. His eyes were hidden in the shadow his hat cast.

"We don't want to..." Selphie trailed off helplessly. "But... oh, Matron! We don't know them anymore! They aren't the same people, and now they're with Seifer..."

"I thought you'd forgiven him?"

Selphie flinched at the tone in her Matron's voice. The only mother she knew. "I thought I had, too. But, he did fire missiles at Trabia Garden."

"This wouldn't be the first time he'd killed SeeD," Zell murmured.

"Under my orders."

"You were being controlled by Ultimecia!" Selphie interjected.

"And, he wasn't?" She turned back to Xu. "What do you plan to do?"

"There are no other options for me. As Headmaster, I have to follow Garden law. Rogue SeeD have to be put down. They're dangerous! Especially when they're being aided by a known war criminal."

Edea looked into Xu's eyes for a long time, saying nothing. And, that's when it hit Xu like a bullet in the forehead. Edea didn't believe her. There was no knowledge of Edea's life as a Sorceress giving her telepathy, but she still knew somehow. Xu recalled how Cid said 'never' in his death throes. That he'd never make Xu Headmaster. Did Edea know this? Had Cid said something to her about his reservations?

"I... I..." Xu slowly collected herself, steeling her resolve against the coldness in those powerful golden brown eyes, which were now looking away from her towards Rinoa. "I believe that the three of them may try to make contact with you in Good Hope. Since Squall and Quistis are with Seifer, we believe they'd head for Centra, since he knows that area well. Your Orphanage may be in danger because of it."

Edea's eyes snapped back to Xu, away from the distressed young Sorceress. Now, her attentions were full on the woman sitting in Cid's place. "They would never do such a thing."

"Really? Seifer's already shown his capacity for baby killing when he bombed a school. It would be a tragedy for the Orphanage. We want to protect that place. Those children need you as their mother."

Edea was so still she didn't even seem to breathe. Xu had just threatened her, and her children, but to the others in the room, it seemed like a kind warning, a concern for their safety. Cid had indeed talked to Edea about his desire to never see Xu as the head of Garden. He admired her drive and her skills, but he recognized a terrible flaw inside her. That she couldn't be trusted with power. She was the kind that would be so utterly corrupted by it. She spoke so ill of Seifer, but it was a trait that Edea saw in both of them.

Looking into Selphie and Zell's faces now, she saw they really did believe it. Edea knew that things hadn't been going well for Squall and Quistis in Garden. Cid had mentioned it to her, but she hadn't been aware of the full picture. Xu must have been working the public and media in her favour, to discredit two people she'd seen as a threat to her goals. People whom she probably still considered friends, but she'd lost sight of it all in her desire to be Headmaster. And, it had worked. She'd turned Squall and Quistis's closest friends against them.

"I can send some SeeD enforcers to the Orphanage with you," Xu offered. "As bodyguards to protect the children."

__

'To hold them hostage, you mean'

, said Edea's eyes. "That won't be necessary," her mouth replied. "I have my own SeeD, if you remember."

"Ah yes, the White SeeD. That will be fine."

"May I take Cid home for burial?"

"Not quite yet. There's still... evidence to be collected."

"I understand," Edea answered politely, stomach churning. She put a hand to her belly as she rose from her chair. She felt bile rising in her, looking into the eyes of the real suspect in her husband's murder. "I would like to get back to my children now."

Xu also rose. "I wanted to tell you in person first, so you wouldn't hear it in the media. They have a way of skewing the facts," Xu answered carefully, sounding kind but meaning it poisonously.

"That's very kind of you."

"Again, Mrs. Kramer, I'm so very sorry." Xu stuck her hand out.

Edea looked down at it, and refused the contact. "Good day, Headmaster..." She walked towards the door, passing Irvine. He tipped his hat respectfully to her, and when she caught the glance from his periwinkle eyes, she knew that he believed this mess as much as she did. Did he feel as helpless as she did right now? How she wanted to call Xu out on the inconsistencies of the allegations, but Xu now had control of the most powerful military force aside from Esthar, and it would be so easy for her to extent that new arm and destroy anyone who stood between her and the Headmaster's seat. Including Edea's orphans. "Rinoa, would you care to walk with me to the gate?"

"Okay," the younger woman mumbled into her chest, quickly standing without looking up.

"Matron's just upset," Edea heard Zell say comfortingly to Xu as she left the room. "She didn't mean to be rude, babe."

"Was Squall the one to tell you about this affair with Seifer?" Edea asked as they walked to the elevator.

"Did you know?" Rinoa asked, looking up. Her eyes were very puffy and red.

"No." They stepped into the glass elevator car when it arrived.

"But... you're not surprised, huh?"

"No, dear. I guess I'm not. Even as children, they had a very close relationship, even when it wasn't harmonious."

"He told me he loved me..."

"Squall wouldn't say that to just anybody."

"He lied. I thought for so long that it was Quistis... He lied."

"You shouldn't let your anger cloud your judgement." The elevator dinged as it arrived on the ground floor, the doors swishing open. Even the busy hallways were quiet, grim.

"He made a fool of me," Rinoa whispered, balling her fists as a white crackle of lightning snaked around her arm, then fell back into her skin.

"Even if the love he feels became something other than sexual, he still loves you. He would have rather destroyed himself than hurt you."

"But, he did. I'm really sorry about Cid," she added. "He was such a nice man." She turned away from Edea, a large sweat stain on the back of her shirt.

Edea watched her leave, but didn't stop her. She walked out into the warm Balamb sunshine, walking to the perimeter of the grounds. She used her sorcery to teleport away once out of the influence of Garden's own strong magical field. She normally didn't flout her Sorceress abilities like that, but she didn't have time to bother with public transportation. She needed to get back to the Orphanage, and fast. Before Xu could send the reinforcements she'd 'offered'.

It was easy for Edea to travel as far as Centra, riding the magical currents that existed throughout the world like jet streams. She'd been in tune with the world's magic for so long, she didn't even have to think about it.

"Mrs. Kramer...?" One of her cook's greeted, full of confusion. "We didn't expect to see you back so soon."

"I didn't want to leave the children for too long."

"What about the Headmaster?"

"There's still an ongoing investigation," Edea murmured, pulling out a phone book. "Can you start packing some bags? We're going to have a field trip"

"A field trip?"

"Yes," Edea said tersely, leaving no room for argument. "Please."

Edea started making a few phone calls and making arrangements. Xu probably felt very cornered right now, and that was a dangerous situation. As she was on hold, she looked out the kitchen window towards the distant lighthouse. Were Squall and Quistis okay? Were they aware of what was happened at Garden now, and how much danger they were in? She was sure that Seifer would do his best to protect them, particularly if it was true that he and Squall were in some sort of relationship.

Most of the children were watching a television program, and some were playing a game of Triple Triad with a battered deck of cards.

"Children!" She called gently to get their attention. "I have a fun surprise for you all. We're going to take a little educational trip!"

"A trip?!" A few of the children echoed excitedly. "Where, Matron? Where?" They asked at once, voices competing with each other.

"We're going to Esthar!" She exclaimed cheerfully, her smile hiding the agony she was feeling inside.

---

Raijin checked his watch for the umpteenth time as their train started to slow. The massive wall of glass Estharian buildings was looming ahead of them, dwarfing the Great Salt Lake station. He aimlessly flipped through pages of the sports magazine that had been in his lap for the entire trip from Timber, but that he hadn't read a single word out of. He felt something... off in the air, and that feeling was only confirmed by how stiff Fujin was beside him. He usually took his cues from her, and her tenseness made him tense, too.

"Now arriving at the Great Salt Lake station," a female robotic voice crisply announced. "Please have passports ready for customs, and welcome to Esthar. Thank you for travelling with us."

"Ah, finally, ya know?!" He stretched, and then patted Fujin's shoulder roughly. "That wasn't too bad, ya know?!"

She didn't respond, stiff as a board. Raijin's definition of 'not bad' wasn't the same as her own. Ever since they'd transferred to this train in Timber, Fujin felt a mounting ugliness in the air. Something was wrong. Unknown to either of them, while they'd been waiting for their Esthar-bound train, they'd briefly been in Timber at the same time as Seifer and his hidden passengers. A couple people had gotten on the train in Fisherman's Horizon that Fujin would bet her last gil were undercover SeeD, or at least Galbadian Garden operatives. They'd been giving Fujin and Raijin the stink-eye from two rows back for the entire trip over the Horizon Bridge.

Fujin's mind also couldn't leave the fact that Seifer was Jupiter. That he'd been out there, killing people for Sol at the same time she'd been. Raijin hadn't asked her about it at all. Maybe he was getting enough sense not to shoot his mouth off in a crowded train about assassin cells.

"PASSPORT?" Fujin asked.

"Yes, ya know?!" Raijin answered testily. She asked him that every time they travelled anywhere. She _knew_ he had it, since he'd had to present it in Timber when they changed trains. "I'm not a baby. And, I only forgot it that one time, ya know?!"

Fujin casually looked behind her to the Garden agents as she got out of her seat. They were also starting to rise, and Fujin muscled through the other passengers, dragging the much larger Raijin behind her, so that she put a couple dozen bodies between her and the two men. They only had carry-on luggage, so didn't have to dilly-dally on their way to customs.

"Passport, please." The female agent stuck her hand out as Fujin approached the empty wicket. The woman inspected the document, checking the photograph, then Fujin's face. "Your purpose in Esthar?"

"PLEASURE."

Behind her in line, despite the growing tension in the air, he couldn't help but snort. The word 'pleasure' sounded like anything but when it came from Fujin's mouth. But, his amusement was only short lived. The men Fujin'd had her good eye on were now getting off the train, and starting to make their way to the customs line.

The seconds were slow and agonizing as the Estharian woman scanned Fujin's passport in her computer terminal and waited for confirmation. Raijin didn't realize he was holding his breath until he let it out in relieved whoosh when one of the pages in the little book was stamped. "Please enjoy your stay in Esthar, ma'am."

"APPRECIATED." Fujin took her passport, and went through the large glass double-doors that led to the Esthar side of the Great Salt Lake station, guarded on each side by Estharian soldiers.

Raijin slid up to the agent's window, and she said "passport, please," but in a much breezier tone than she'd used on Fujin.

"Your purpose in Esthar?" She asked, smiling at Raijin.

"Hopefully pleasure," he answered with a wink, knowing when he was being flirted with. He could practically feel the breath of the two men behind him as she inspected his passport, then looked intently at his face in a way that had little to do with her job. In the glass of her wicket, he could see their reflection. They were in the line, only a middle-aged man reading a Fisherman's Horizon newspaper between them. As the agent scanned Raijin's passport and waited for computer confirmation, he could see the reflected agents trying to get past the guy with the paper. He was resistant, and Raijin saw them reach into their coats for something. Probably an ID.

His heart skipped a beat when he heard the loud stamp of his passport. "Please enjoy your stay in Esthar," she murmured, sliding his documents back to him, making sure that her fingers brushed the back of his hand, her skin very white compared to the dark reddish tone of his.

"I'll try, ya know?!" He answered flirtatiously, then motored to the guarded doors to reunite with his partner.

"FLIRTING?" Fujin asked hotly when he came to stand beside her. She gave him a kick in the shins, which caused the two guards to look over.

"Girl trouble, ya know?!" He joked to one of them, whose masked helmet nodded in male understanding. "Man, those guys from the train were starting to get bold. That was wayyyy close," Raijin muttered out of the corner of his mouth while he and Fujin rode an escalator up to ground level. It was like stepping into another world, or into the future. The architecture was so radically different from the rest of the train station, and really from every other place in the world. "Who were they, ya know?! Galbadian army operatives?"

"GARDEN."

"Garden?!" Raijin echoed loudly, which got him another kick.

"Something happened," she muttered tensely. Nervously. It was rare that Fujin sounded nervous, but she sounded _really_ nervous right now. "Something bad."

"Stupid fucking Squall," Raijin hissed as they approached a lifter station, checking the hologram schedule for the number of the next lifter to the Royal district. "Hyne knows what kind of trouble he got Seifer into now if they really were from Garden. Just when he was okay, ya know?!"

"He wasn't okay," Fujin argued tonelessly, pointing out the lifter they wanted. It would arrive in five minutes.

"You're defending Squall, ya know?!" Raijin asked incredulously. Their loyalty would always be to Seifer first, and their ill feelings towards Squall and his treatment of their friend (and idol) wasn't secret.

"No. But, Seifer isn't okay."

"Yeah, speaking of that, ya know" Raijin's voice became very serious and very unlike him. "Don't think I've forgotten about _that_."

"LATER." Fujin pointed to the lifter path, where one pod was approaching them.

"You bet your ass 'later', ya know?!" The lifter stopped, and they got on it. "What are we gonna say?" Raijin asked quietly so the other five passengers on the lift wouldn't hear him.

"INSTRUCTED."

"Yeah, yeah. But, what does it mean, ya know?!"

Fujin just shook her head. She only hoped that President Loire would see them. It's not like she and Raijin could be considered 'good friends' of Squall's, or even of any of the other Orphanage gang. They could only impatiently watch Esthar's futuristic scenery whiz by as the lifter carried them towards the Palace. It was an express line, so it didn't make any stops, except for once at the Airstation, where one person got on. But, this so-called express line wasn't fast enough for Fujin's taste. It was going pretty quickly, but it was still a journey that took just over an hour. The pair remained silent the entire time. There wasn't much to say to each other. Well, Raijin _wanted_ to ask more about Seifer having all those guns, and Fujin pretty much outing him as a member of the Solar System, and how she would know that exactly. But, he knew it was the wrong time, and that Fujin would either just stonewall him, or stonewall him _and_ punch him in the nose.

"Next stop - Presidential Palace, main entrance. Please do not exit lifter until it has come to a complete stop. Have a pleasant day," the automated voice said soothingly as the lifter's speed slowed. The grand, massive Palace loomed before them, dwarfing every other building in the impossibly vast city. It could even be seen from distant provinces. It was sometimes easy to forget how large Esthar was, and it actually took up to a week to get from one end to the other. Many of the residents of Esthar probably had never come to the Presidential Palace in their life, or even seen it.

When the lifter stopped, everyone got off. But, Fujin and Raijin were the only ones who weren't in official dress.

"Where to, ya know?! Front desk?" He scratched his head.

Fujin just stomped on ahead, and Raijin could only follow in her wake. "We need to speak to President Loire," Fujin announced to one of the receptionists at the long desk in the lobby, in accented Estharian. Raijin just remained silent, since he could only say 'hello', 'goodbye' and 'bathroom' in Estharian.

The secretary just raised his eyebrows. "You can't just see the President."

"EMERGENCY!" Fujin barked loudly in Dollenese, and scarily enough that the secretary flinched back. Fujin took a deep breath and composed herself, switching back to Estharian. "It's a matter of life and death, involving his son, Squall Leonhart."

Both Fujin and Raijin felt ill when the secretary reacted visibly to those words. He immediately got on the phone and started talking in hurried Esthar, so that Fujin couldn't understand him. Raijin was completely lost.

They were handed two visitors badges. "A guard will escort you to the Presidential offices." The secretary gestured to where a uniformed soldier was approaching them.

"Follow me," he answered, voice crisp from behind his mask.

"Did you see that?" Raijin hissed to Fujin once they went in an elevator.

"BADGE." Fujin gestured to his shirt, urging him to clip it on.

He sighed. "M'not a baby," he muttered, pinning the visitor's badge to his broad, muscular chest. "But, yeah... the way they reacted..."

"Something happened," Fujin whispered tensely.

The elevator stopped, and Fujin and Raijin followed the guard down a hallway decorated with paintings of the village of Winhill. The glass let them look at things below them. It was dizzying and impressive, but neither had eyes for the view.

"The President is in here." The guard walked back down the hall, presumably to his post.

Fujin and Raijin stepped into the sprawling Presidential office. Some sort of holographic screen was projecting a few different news broadcasts, and Fujin uttered an "oh God" when she saw what looked like three mug shots lined up side-by-side. She recognized the picture of Seifer as the one from his Dollet driver's license. On either side of the head shot of Seifer were stone-faced images of Squall and Quistis, probably from their Garden badges, because they were wearing SeeD jackets.

Laguna turned away from the screens when he heard Fujin's utterance. They'd only met him once, but he'd been so friendly and jovial that his haunted, drawn face was barely recognizable as that man. The seriousness in his eyes brought out their resemblance to his son's.

"Seifer... Seifer Almasy told us to come..." Fujin trailed off, as hesitant and uncertain as she'd ever sound in her entire life. Her good eye scanned the news tickers and headlines as they flashed on the screen, feeling sick with each word she read. Headmaster Cid was dead...? "He told us to say that... Squall's innocent. They're innocent, and..." She shook her head in disbelief. The news must have broken while they were travelling from Fisherman's Horizon, or while they'd been on the lifter. "They're coming."

"Where is my son?" Laguna asked in Galbadian.

"We don't know," Raijin answered, subdued. Shocked. It was hard to look in Laguna's eyes and say that. He looked so worried and scared. "But, Seifer's with them, so they'll be okay."

Raijin sounded so sure, and Laguna wanted to believe him so badly. "Please, tell me everything you know."

---

The sun was barely up when Irvine and Nida, flanked by three Galbadian Garden cadets, knocked on the door of apartment 204. When Ivan Blackmoon opened the door, he didn't look surprised to see a bunch of Garden people standing there. It hadn't been Irvine's favourite mission to ransack Seifer's apartment, and bringing his former boyfriend in for questioning and detainment was even more unpleasant.

"Hi, Ivan."

"Hello, Irvine. Nida, wasn't it?"

Nida just nodded. He hadn't spoken at all since Xu sent them to Dollet.

"Look Ivan, we're here because..."

"Yes, I know," Ivan interrupted briskly. Nida suddenly jerked his head up from the spot on the carpet he'd been studying intently. He was more magically tuned than Irvine was, and he suddenly felt a flicker of great power come off the tall, olive-skinned man. One of the Galbadian cadets must have felt it too, because he made some sort of surprised noise in the back of his throat. "So, are you going to shackle me, or can I walk under my own power?" Though his voice was bland and rather emotionless, there was an undercurrent of hostility.

"You're not under arrest," Irvine assured.

"I know you believe that," Ivan answered, closing his apartment door behind him. He walked beside Irvine, and this time Irvine did feel that there was something unusual about Ivan. Walking beside him felt like walking beside a powerful King. It was just in his stride, his body language. "But, what do your superiors believe?"

"That Seifer, Squall and Quistis are dangerous criminals. And, that you might know where Seifer took them?"

Ivan half-grinned as he was none-too-gently put into the backseat of a waiting car by one of the Galbadian operatives. "And, I'll tell you, one way or another?"

"There won't be any torture here," Nida said firmly.

"I know you believe that" Ivan trailed off, folding his hands in his lap. As they drove to Garden's Dollet outpost offices, Irvine kept looking in the rear-view mirror at their charge. Ivan seemed completely at ease, staring out the window as the old city whizzed past them. But, he was not smiling. In fact, he looked utterly and completely stone-faced serious. He didn't move, except for one finger that stroked over the face of a watch at his wrist.

When they arrived at the non-descript block-shaped brick building, Ivan was again calm and collected as he was led inside. "You think Seifer would actually _tell_ me where he was going?" Ivan asked over his shoulder to Irvine, even though he knew very well where Seifer had taken Squall and Quistis without having to be told. "You think he's that foolish?"

"No, but I have my orders."

"Of course."

When a sudden, loud beeping erupted in the quiet hallway, everyone reacted. Rifles were pulled out and aimed right at Ivan's head, everyone stiffening and shouting in surprise.

One of the Galbadian soldiers lowered his gun first, sighing. "It's just the alarm on his watch. Turn it off, Mr. Blackmoon."

But, Ivan had gone very stiff, and was looking down at the watch with scrutiny that could have burned through a wall. The Galbadians leading him tried to urge him along again, but found they may as well have been trying to pull an elephant. Ivan's lips were soundlessly moving as he read the data flying across the watch face. As if pushing away a bothersome gnat, he swept his hand away and swatted the Galbadian cadets holding him into the wall. One hit so hard that he left a gaping gash in the drywall, and there was a sickening crack from the head of the other.

Irvine's hands, normally so steady around his trusty shotgun, faltered a little when he noticed Ivan's shadow did _not_ match what was standing right there. It was much too large, and it looked like Ivan had horns. "Ivan..." Irvine warned.

"I don't have time for this nonsense anymore," Ivan answered. Irvine and Nida could feel his voice vibrating under their feet.

"Don't make me put one in your leg, Mr. Blackmoon," Nida said slowly.

"I wouldn't have made it across the anti-magic barrier, anyway." He looked up from the wrist device he'd stolen in Esthar, and the SeeD were both struck when they looked in Ivan's eyes. Normally glittering dark and deep, they were now like burning red suns that froze them in place. Ivan closed those hellish eyes and teleported away to the location given by the GF detector, leaving nothing behind but a pile of black ashes and a bitter, deathly chill.

"What the hell?!" Nida demanded, a full two minutes after Ivan had disappeared. They were still training their guns on empty space.

Irvine slowly lowered his shotgun and went to the pile of ash on the linoleum floor. He fingered some of it, and it felt like shaved ice, but had texture unlike any ash Irvine had ever seen.

"Irvine?" Nida asked. His partner had been crouched beside the pile for long, silent minutes.

"He was right. There was no way he would have gotten past the anti-magic fields. Besides..." He stood up, shaking his head. He couldn't even help but smile. "How do you interrogate a Guardian Force, anyway?"

"You saw his shadow too, huh?" Nida asked, crouching beside the other man.

"C'mere..." Irvine cocked his head so Nida would lean in. He then quickly punched him in the nose, causing a trickle of blood to come out."

"Ahhh!" Nida gasped, covering his face with his hands after his gun clattered to the floor in his surprise. "What the _fuck_?!"

"You can punch me now."

"Oh, really?" Nida did so, a hard knuckle to the side of Irvine's face. It made him fall off his haunches, and land in a heap on the floor. "Bastard."

Irvine stroked his sore cheek, then started sweeping the black ashes into the generous pockets of his black leather duster. "He surprised us with a magical attack, beat us all up and ran off, right?"

"You're not going to report the truth?"

"They're unconscious. They won't refute it."

"You want to lie to Xu?"

Irvine silently regarded his partner.

"Yeah... I don't feel much like being forthcoming, either."

---

The place that Ivan teleported to wasn't even a 'place', in the human sense of the word. In fact, it was a place that no human being could have ever reached, or even comprehended. It was a place that lay between worlds, and only existed on the intangible planes of magical time and space. It was a place that took various forms, and right now it resembled a city that scraped the clouds, an image created by Ivan's query, who felt alien presence in his corner of this dimension. Unsheathing weapons with all four arms, he slowly turned around, pale white eye gleaming as he regarded this intruder. A nervous blinking. "Wh... What are you doing here?! Ain't you supposed to be dead?!"

Ivan Blackmoon's human guise melted away, dissipating in the fast, magical winds like the ashes he'd left behind at Irvine and Nida's feet. His emotionless golden mask came over a face he hadn't worn since he was a young human Prince, not even yet the great King he would become. Black and gold armour melded over his body like rapidly growing vines, and a billowing black cape flapped out all around him, each motion of fabric releasing the screams of dead spirit energy. His eyes burned like red fire, gazing intently at the sword in Gilgamesh's upper left arm. From that swirling black ash, a javelin twice the length of his own body came into his hands, and when Ivan spoke, it was in his true voice - that of Odin, Horsemaster and Lord of the Afterlife. "I believe you have something that belongs to me."

Gilgamesh blinked nervously again. As a human, he'd been an exceptionally skilled swordsman, and was just as formidable in this eternal, magic form. But, the only way he'd been able to wrestle Zantetsuken away from Odin was to take it after his death. Or, what was _supposed _to have been his death. Even with four weapons against Odin's lone lance, a secondary weapon for him, Gilgamesh wasn't certain of his own victory. Especially since Odin seemed so pissed off. But, then again Odin had been defeated by a mere human with only _one_ weapon, one that Gilgamesh was already coveting. Hyperion, the blade that cleft great Odin in two. But, actually maybe not so much. Odin did look remarkably in one piece.

Gilgamesh was normally one to taunt and trash talk, but Odin was on him before he could come out with a smart remark. It took both Odin's own beloved blade, and the legendary Excalibur, to stave off a swing from the long javelin Odin wielded with such deadly precision. Their weapons clashed again and again in what was destined to be a long, epic and drawn out battle that nobody would witness. Anyone junctioning a Guardian Force would have felt some sort of minor tickling, like someone running fingertips over their scalp, but nothing to give them real pause.

On a ship to Esthar, pensively looking out at the ocean as the children whale watched in blissful oblivion to their danger, Edea looked to the sky, rubbing her upper arms as a chill went through her. Sitting in the bedroom she'd shared with Squall in Balamb Garden, Rinoa slowly sat up on the bed where she'd been staring at the wall in a depressed stupor, anger against Squall festering in her like a sore. She, like Edea, felt the chill of a great magical disturbance, far more mysterious than anything the novice Sorceress had ever experienced before. She slowly dragged herself out of bed and went to the window, gripping the sill as a magical shockwave tore through the invisible plane. It wasn't painful to her, but she knew that something powerful was going on _somewhere_.

---

Squall stirred, feeling familiar warmth pressed against him, wrapped all around him. He breathed in the smell of Seifer's skin, wrapping his arms tighter around the other man's waist. He normally slept naked, so felt extra dirty and grimy after sleeping in his clothes. It reminded him of when he'd woken up in that Timber flophouse. But, he didn't care right now, feeling Seifer breathing next to him. He pressed some sleepy kisses to Seifer's throat, body relaxing with pure contentment. He had the typical morning half-erection, and with his hips pressed to the other man's, he could feel that Seifer did, too. He pressed his hips more firmly to Seifer's, creating some friction in the hope that his morning wood would become a full-fledged hardness. Seifer responded in kind as he arose from his sleeping state, whispering incoherently in Squall's ear. His joy darkened around the edges when he felt someone in the bed with them, and then it all came crashing back down. The blissful moment of ignorance disappeared rudely, and Squall remembered everything.

"You don't have to stop on my account, you know..." came Quistis's sleepy, wry murmur. "I think I would rather enjoy watching that."

"I'm not opposed," Seifer answered playfully into Squall's hair, then squeezed his ass for good measure.

"Shut up."

"Just because you're on the run doesn't mean you have to be so dour."

"...Whatever," Squall answered at the exact same time that Quistis did. She then started chuckling and said "I may not be able to see through Seifer, but I'd bet anything you're glowering right now."

The light-hearted moment was cut rudely by the loud ringing of a telephone. All three stiffened, Quistis and Squall bolting upright. Seifer was slower to rise. "Sol would know I came in here," he told the other two, who looked a bit spooked.

"Would he know we're with you...? Or, she or whatever?" Quistis asked as Seifer disentangled himself from their limbs and the sheets.

"By now? Probably."

"You gonna answer it?" Squall asked dubiously. His fingers were itching to reach for Seifer's gunblade, perched near the bed, even though it was just a telephone.

Seifer got out of the bed, and stood in the bedroom's doorway, the phone still ringing. Miniature versions of Shiva, Bahamut and Diablos, who'd been disjunctioned before they went to sleep, woke up from their half-sleeping positions on the coffee table, looking at their masters passively. "It will keep ringing until I do." He went out to the living room, Quistis and Squall scrambling to follow.

"Put it on speakerphone," Quistis hissed in a whisper.

"You don't have to whisper _yet_," he teased dully, which got him a distracted punch in the shoulder. But, all of their eyes were on the single, rather old-fashioned phone sitting on a table beside the couch, which looked like it had never been sat on.

Seifer let out his breath and hit the speakerphone button like he was waiting for a bullet to the forehead.

"Have you all seen this morning's news?" Sol's mechanical voice asked tonelessly, saying that he/she knew Squall and Quistis were listening, just by the use of one word. The mysterious leader of the Solar System then hung up.

Squall immediately went for the remote on the small coffee table and turned on the television, searching for the Timber news channel. They were currently talking about a Timber textiles factory having to lay off some employees, but the three of them kept their eyes on the news ticker at the bottom of the screen. Then they saw their names in conjunction with the news that Cid was dead, and it had been murder.

"Oh, Hyne..." Quistis put her fingers to her lips in shock.

Squall just sat in stunned silence as it sank in - everyone believed he'd helped kill Headmaster Cid. Even Seifer's hand coming to rest on his shoulder, giving it a soft, loving squeeze was of no comfort.

"I guess... I'm not really surprised she did this," Quistis murmured. She closed her eyes as her stomach sickeningly flopped when the image on her SeeD badge flashed on the screen like a mug shot.

"Why?" Squall asked dully. "Cid would have named her Headmaster after this."

"No," Seifer answered, sitting on the couch's arm beside the other man. "If Cid wanted Xu to be the next Headmaster, he would have announced it by now. He must have had some personal reason why. Maybe he saw something in Xu... maybe he recognized that something like this would happen. That she couldn't be trusted with power." _Like he saw in me_, Seifer added mentally.

"You think...?" Quistis trailed off, cocking her head. "I guess I just never noticed it until now."

"It's smart as hell," Seifer begrudgingly gave credit. "Nobody would care as much about the SeeD and mercenaries dying in a mission gone horribly wrong, but Headmaster Cid being killed? The head of Garden, the husband of Sorceress Edea? Everyone will care about that."

"And, it will officially turn anyone against us who might not have believed it before," Squall added sourly. "She's already been using the media against us, and now it will be in overdrive."

"I wonder where she got that evidence from," spat Quistis. "So... what now? We can't stay here forever, can we?"

"No." Seifer stood up. "Garden's been chasing the Solar System, so Sol has no love lost for them, but I can't trust he won't turn us in if the price is right."

"They'll know we're going to head towards Centra," Squall warned. "And, we can't rely on Matron. She thinks we killed her husband, remember?"

"I had no intention of seeing Edea. Even if Cid were alive, that's the first place Garden would set up watch. We're still going through Centra."

"It's too dangerous." Squall also rose to his feet, arms crossed in displeasure.

"They'll never find us in the mountains."

Squall opened his mouth to protest again, but Seifer cut across him with "it'll be fine. Trust me."

"There are a lot of back roads around here," Quistis noted. She'd spent a few months in the area on a mission after graduating from Garden. "They're really winding and convoluted, and hopefully still hidden by a lot of trees. It could get us near Winhill in relative safety."

"Once we get to the Almaj range, they'll never find us. The Kashkabald, though..." He trailed off. "We'll just cross that bridge when we come to it."

"It'll be a miracle if we get through this."

Seifer cocked his eyebrow at Squall's doom and gloom response. "Well, then you'll just owe me even bigger when I get you safety to your Daddy."

"What, there's something he actually won't do sexually?" Quistis asked, completely deadpan.

Squall just rolled his eyes, trying to stuff a sweater into a small section of the pack by folding it in various ways, bordering on trying to make origami.

"I wouldn't mind a dance."

"A dance? Seriously?" Squall asked, confused.

"Why not?"

"I don't like dancing."

"You dance with Rinoa, but not me? You kinda take it for granted, but there's something really intimate about dancing with someone, holding them close to you as your bodies move in harmony like that. It's something I never really thought of until I met Ivan." Seifer's face started to suddenly got really pale until it was a noticeable shade of paper white. "Oh, God..."

Squall looked up from the sweater, just wadding it into a messy ball and stuffing it beside a balaclava. He could see that Seifer looked on the verge of being ill. "You think Xu would go after him to get to you?"

Seifer pulled out his phone, and started to go through his contacts list, but then slowly lowered it and snapped it shut again. If he called Ivan to warn him, it would give away their position. He couldn't use his phone at all. Not even for this.

Quistis ran her hand across Seifer's shoulder, then his golden hair. She didn't try to say anything like 'oh, Xu can't do anything to him because he's a regular civilian'. Quistis wasn't going to put anything past Xu any longer. So, she went back to packing, and left Seifer to worry in peace. Or, maybe to mourn.

Squall looked across the room at the other man. His boyfriend? They hadn't exactly made it official, but Squall thought of him that way. He'd thought of Seifer as his lover, his love, for quite a while now, and despised himself for feeling a twinge of jealousy at Seifer's current heartache. But, on the other hand, there was also something inside him that was certain Ivan would be okay. He remembered that feeling in the hallway, even though all his drunkenness, like Ivan was something more than what he seemed. When Seifer looked over at him, he tried to show some of that confidence in his eyes. It must have showed, at least to him, because Seifer gave a slow, grave nod.

They started dressing in layers, taking stock of their food stocks, ammunition and junctioned magic. Their GF remained disjunctioned for now, the three of them wanting to keep their heads clear for a while. It wasn't certain when they'd be able to disjunction next. Maybe not until Esthar...

"That looks like everything." Quistis looked up from her crouched position beside her fully stuffed pack. She handed Seifer a map of Timber that she'd drawn on, showing the best hidden forest roads.

He studied the map, some of the roads familiar to him, but others new. "All right. Bahamut." He gestured his head, and the tiny dragon flew towards him, vanishing mid-air as he fused magically with Seifer.

Quistis sighed and nodded to Diablos. The demon and Shiva both followed Bahamut's example, and vanished into their masters. They shut off all the lights, and left the safe house. Quistis and Squall both got in the back of the truck, under the tarp. The truck roared to life, and then they were gone. In the safe house, they felt cloistered away from the storm, but away from it, the danger became all too real. It wasn't just on the news, like it was happening to different people. They knew that Seifer badly wanted to change cars, but with their faces plastered all over every newspaper and TV channel by now, it would be too dangerous. The back roads were their only hope.

Quistis was so tense that she gasped when she felt Squall's hand touch her own. The noise couldn't be heard over the roar of the truck's engine, and she squeezed back. The ride was starting to get a lot bumpier, and both grunted when they seemed to get airborne, then crash back down to earth. The long trip rattled their bones, and they lost complete sense of time. They could have been driving for fifteen hours, or fifteen minutes. When they heard three slow and loud taps on the truck cab's back window, they stopped breathing for a moment. That was a signal that they were being followed. They knew it was Garden when there was a shot ringing out, and an engine catching up with them.

In unison, they threw the tarp off themselves, guns blazing as they fired at the truck behind them. Quistis shot out a beam of concentrated magic from her palm, and there was a flash of SeeD uniforms as the truck swerved out of the way so the driver could avoid getting fried in her seat. It was Garden chasing them, after all. Squall and Quistis dove to their stomachs behind the makeshift barricade of the truck bed's walls, assault rifle held up in Quistis's hands, gunblade in Squall's. It was hard to aim at the tires because the roads were so bumpy, but at least the Garden vehicle was having the same problem.

"Hang on!" Seifer shouted from behind the wheel, and the truck suddenly spun and made a sharp turn onto another access road, tree branches whipping past them and slapping against the sides of the vehicle. He'd had to turn because there were now trucks and utility vehicles ahead of them. Quistis flung a magical grenade out, and it caught the second truck, making it airborne. It crashed into one of the trucks behind it, but the lead chase vehicle was still right on their ass.

"Shit, get down!" Quistis shouted to Seifer as a giant fireball barrelled towards them from the sky. A more powerful brand of magic. Squall covered his head with his arms, and summoned Shiva. Seifer crouched and tried to keep the truck on the road as they were engulfed in fire, most of it going right around them as Shiva combated Ifrit's attack with an ice shield. Ifrit's bulky, hairy body suddenly flew out of nowhere and crashed into Squall's GF, sending them both flying up into the air, fire and ice spells mingling together in water and smoke.

"Doomtrain!" Quistis shouted again, immediately starting to cast anti-status magic on the three of them. She also summoned Diablos, and Bahamut's great dragon form also appeared over the treetops, which seemed to give Ifrit and Doomtrain pause.

'_Selphie and Zell,_' Squall mouthed to his partner, who nodded her head slowly. They would have known about Shiva and Diablos, but not that Seifer was carrying Bahamut. Quistis just hoped that Seifer's instant compatibility with the dragon meant he'd have a greater magical well to call from. They would need it.

Quistis fired blindly in the air after a volley of bullets from their pursuers, trying not to think about the fact that she was going to have to fight against Selphie and Zell, and maybe Irvine too. And, what about Nida...? Maybe he would have been in Xu's bed by now. And, could Garden count on the support of Matron and Rinoa? Could they survive not only against a Garden strike force, but against two angry Witches?

Everyone was blinded by a flash grenade launched from the truck's cab by Seifer, who'd stuck a grenade launcher out the passenger window and aimed into the sky. Squall and Quistis were flung off-balance as the truck accelerated to a dangerous speed. Squall's shoulder crashed into the side of the truck bed, and Quistis landed on top of him, elbow digging into his stomach and briefly punching the wind out of him. There was a massive explosion in the sky from one of the Guardian Forces. It made the sky whiter, and everyone on the ground could feel the heat.

"Hold onto something!" Seifer shouted, putting the accelerator right down to the floor as he busted through a bramble of thick branches and overgrowth, coming out onto a plain with thinning tree coverage. Squall and Quistis immediately scrambled back to their positions on their stomachs in the truck bed. They were on the old Winhill highway, and the Garden trucks were nowhere to be seen... not yet, anyway. The engine was starting to protest, and Seifer looked at the gas gauge with mounting dismay. It was getting lower and lower, too fast to be natural. The gas tank must have gotten punctured, either by a bullet or from crashing through the forest.

It happened so fast that the three of them were unable to brace themselves for the massive impact. Like a scream, Doomtrain's whistle vibrated in their ears to the point of pain. They only heard the sound of the mystical train along its magic tracks for a moment before its metal hulking frame slammed into the side of the truck, sending it into the air. Quistis heard Squall scream through the whine of twisting, breaking metal, and maybe she was screaming too, lungs and eyes filing with noxious gases meant to blind and poison her. She completely lost her equilibrium as they flipped in the air. She tried to open her eyes, but it was impossible against Doomtrain's status magic. There was another impact, and she felt little things brushing against her, and when she heard the high-pitched screeching, she knew it was Diablos slowing their descent into the unforgiving highway. Cold, wintery wind blew the status gas away, and the truck slowly hit the ground, but hard enough that Quistis jammed her shoulder hard against some piece of metal. Shiva flung out a long ramp of ice that the truck could skid along as Diablos's bats formed his demon body once more and he took to the skies to help Bahamut try to contain Selphie's GF.

Their truck could no longer drive, and was at the mercy of Shiva's icy path towards Winhill. In the cab, Seifer's shoulder was dislocated from the crash, and there was a stream of blood running down the side of his face, but he was still lucid. It caused him great pain to reach across the seat for his gunblade, arm hanging awkwardly.

__

Incoming

, Bahamut warned him telepathically as they reached Winhill's town limits. Seifer could feel the change in the air, and the setting sun, low on the horizon, was completely blotted out by the massive frame of their newest pursuer. Alexander looked black and massive against the backlighting of the orange sunset, ramparts revving up with a loud, mechanized whine.

"Shit..." Squall whispered under his breath as they could see the whiteness of Alexander's cannons charging, illuminating the highlights of its body. When the mangled truck came to a stop, Squall grabbed Quistis's arm and started to drag her out of the truck's crunched bed. "We need to go."

"Oh, Hyne..." Quistis was transfixed by the sight of gigantic Alexander, and the realization that Rinoa was here, and was hunting them too.

"Seifer!" Squall exclaimed, heart racing when he looked at the damage of the cab. "Get down!" He shouted into the busted-out window when he was unable to open the door. He had to blast it open with magic, looking over his shoulder as the cannon mouths got brighter and brighter. As Squall dragged Seifer out of the cab, there was a deafening crash that vibrated the ground and nearly made them lose their footing. Bahamut had flown right into Alexander, mouth agape with smoke and fire billowing out of it. Diablos's heavy magic followed suit, blocking the white-hot magical missiles.

"Come on!" Quistis started running towards the town, hoping they could get lost within the buildings.

Seifer brought up the rear, firing flash grenades from his launcher periodically. He was in a lot of pain because of his shoulder, but he grit his teeth and ran behind the other two. They needed to find cover and regroup. Squall, who knew Winhill the best, led his two companions, twisting and turning down the old, cobblestone alleyways between storefronts that were closed up for the day. The smell of flowers was strong and sweet. They stopped in the back doorway of a bakery.

"Shit..." Squall trailed off, seeing how messed up Seifer's shoulder socket looked.

"Help pop it into place," the blonde grit.

"Alright." Squall put his hands around the popped shoulder without hesitation. "Ready?" He didn't really wait for Seifer to say if he were or not. Something else to add to the long list of reasons that Seifer loved him.

"Bite on this." Quistis handed Seifer her whip, so he could bite down on the leather to keep from making too much noise.

"One. Two. Three." Squall jerked the shoulder, and there was a loud pop that made all three of them wince. Seifer groaned around the whip's handle, sure there would be a permanent imprint of his teeth in it. "Better?"

Seifer nodded. "What are we going to do about Rinoa?"

"Would she really help them kill us?" Quistis asked. Both looked at Squall.

"How the fuck should I know?" He snapped. "I dumped her, remember?"

"We need to get out of town. I'm worried about collateral damage..." Quistis trailed off. They all looked skyward when there was a hefty explosion.

"Too late." Seifer pushed the other two out of the way when a whip of fiery magic was flung in their direction, slamming against the brick of the building they were trying to hide against. And, failing miserably. Seifer could feel the heat of the spell brush against his tender shoulder as the three of them tumbled to the ground, quickly scrambling back to their feet. Quistis was firing magic even as she was shoulder-rolling back to her feet. She mentally called for Diablos, who zoomed towards them as a bevy of bats, completely blotting them from the view of their magical sniper. The trio used the wall of fluttering black wings to cross the thoroughfare, heading towards the more open farms and greenhouses. There was just too much danger of an innocent person dying if they were close to these old buildings. Or, that a chunk of stone would go flying from wall or ground, and injure or kill them in the blast.

The bats of Diablos were blasted away by an opposing operative who was also junctioning Shiva. The wind cast Diablos's living shield away, but whoever it was didn't have the same compatibility with the Ice Queen that Squall did, so the attack was far weaker, a mechanical Diamond Dust attack, unlike the creative telepathy one could share with a GF they knew very well.

__

Thanks for pulling your punches, I guess...

Squall trailed off in his mind as he ran behind Seifer as fast as he could. Quistis was bringing up the rear, blasting blue magic behind her. She looked behind her when Seifer yelped in surprise, being flung in the air by Ifrit, gripped in his smoking claws and sent flying. She felt heat and light growing behind her, and only had just started turning her head before a magical cannon from Alexander hit her square in the chest. The wind was knocked out of her and she was sent rolling down a hill into a corn field, coughing and sputtering for oxygen. In the distance, she could hear Doomtrain racing across his tracks, getting louder and louder.

Squall faced down Alexander, dwarfed by the machine but standing his ground, gunblade out and ready. He knew that they were being separated, easier to catch if they weren't together. Bahamut and Shiva streaked across the sky together. Shiva's body was a glacial river of ice, and fire was streaking from between Bahamut's bared fangs, firing down heavily on Alexander to distract it from attacking Squall. Bahamut blasted the machine with explosive breath, and started to immediately fly towards where Seifer had toppled down the road towards old Winhill, tangled with Ifrit. But, Alexander fired a massive blast from its main cannon, and it made Bahamut's body vanish from the tangible plane, too injured to remain.

Squall ignored this, and as soon as he'd seen Alexander's main cannon begin to charge, he started running, firing right into the heart of the cannon when it opened up to fire. He flung himself upwards, climbing up the pistons that made up the legs. He fired lightning magic into Alexander's undercarriage, then sliced up with his gunblade as he climbed the Guardian Force like it was a mountain. As he ascended, he slashed and shot from the gun side of his weapon, using physical attacks and magic to disable Alexander, who was becoming less tangible. So much so that Squall lost his footing because the jutting shield near the center of the machine vanished, and Squall put his weight down on nothing. A combined blast from his gunblade, and a downward thrust from Shiva's magic caused Alexander to make a screeching noise of metal crunching against metal, internal gears shuddering to an ear-splitting stop. Squall started to jump down Alexander's bulk before it vanished like Bahamut had only moments before. But, about a dozen feet from the ground, Squall was thrown through the air like he'd been punched with a gigantic fist. His chest burned as he went flying, and Shiva had to throw out a cloud of semi-solid ice magic so Squall could have some cushioning.

Squall was gently dropped to the ground by his GF's magic, coughing and grunting. He looked up to see Alexander vanishing in white flecks of light, like snow rising rather than falling. Illuminating her Guardian Force's disappearance were the gossamer magical wings sprouting from Rinoa's back, her whole body charged with her sorcery. She had no physical weapon, but didn't need one. Her hands were alight with magic, and she stared Squall down hard as he rose to his feet, the tip of his gunblade pointed straight at her heart.

Quistis thought that seeing her friends, fighting against them, would be impossible. That her heart would be completely torn. But, as she fired missiles of Shockwave Pulsar and fluttering, gravitationally charged bats at an ailing Doomtrain, she really didn't find it hard at all. She and Selphie were trading magical shots through the corn. The dark field was illuminated by spells, and the fires they were causing amongst the crops.

"Why did you do it?!" Selphie demanded from within the rows. "What happened to you, Quisty?!"

The blonde didn't answer. Selphie's questions were only making her angrier and angrier. That Selphie would believe it so readily any of it.

"Come back to Garden before any innocent people get hurt!"

"You fucking hypocrite," Quistis ground out, but her voice carried through the field, so she knew the other woman heard her. "Innocent people _are_ getting hurt. Innocent people are being murdered, but you don't care to find out the truth, not as long as rumour tells you what you think should be the truth."

"Don't try to blame me for this!" Selphie exclaimed hotly. Her voice was closer. Quistis tried to listen carefully to the direction, knowing very well that the clever Selphie would be doing the exact same thing, and probably would have more success. "Cid's dead because of you! You killed him!"

Selphie's voice was right on top of her, but Quistis couldn't react because the smaller SeeD tackled her, and she was zapped by restraining thunder magic. Quistis threw her hand up, catching Selphie under the chin with the heel of her hand, and threw a Mighty Guard spell around her, streaking towards the main battlefield. Her footsteps were muffled by the loud explosions Squall was wrenching out of Alexander. Quistis's legs were much longer than Selphie's, so she could run faster. She could feel her guard magic wavering when she took a strong blast of magic in the back. In the distance, Quistis could see what looked like a bonfire, and made a beeline towards it. She could also see Alexander in the other direction, and briefly hesitated. Seifer was in one direction, Squall in the other. That brief moment where she was trying to decide which of the two most important men in her recent life to rescue cost Quistis dearly. The Mighty Guard spell wore off completely when Selphie blasted her in the side with a supercharged Flare spell. It sent Quistis sprawling, the gravel road tearing up her left side, even through her clothing.

"Get some restraints to the edge of old town," Selphie said into an earpiece. "I have Quistis."

Quistis groaned, rolling over and immediately trying to cast magic on Selphie, but it was countered by Doomtrain appearing around Selphie like a snake, spewing its toxins right into Quistis's eyes.

"I hate doing this, you know..." Selphie trailed off sadly, crouching beside the other SeeD, who was completely incapacitated.

Quistis's magically blinded eyes rolled up to look at Selphie. Quistis could only see a blurry blob in the shape of a small woman, but Selphie could see Quistis's eyes clearly, and saw the hurt and the sheer force of her anger. She tried to speak, but her tongue was swollen in her mouth, so she could only moan in angry protest. She could hear some kind of magical explosion, and her smeary vision of the world became briefly white. Her heart constricted in fear for Seifer and Squall. _Maybe_ Squall and Quistis could get a trial with Selphie and the others watching. Xu wouldn't order execution if the others pressed for justice. She would lose too much face. But, Seifer? He already had a record as a war criminal. He'd probably be killed outright. Not to mention if they found out he was part of the Solar System. A tear trickled down her cheek, having nothing to do with the burning gas in her eyes.

Quistis heard footsteps, and the jingle of iron shackles. Her mind raced within her incapacitated body, trying desperately to think of a way out of this.

"Not too hard," Selphie commanded as one of the guards roughly pulled Quistis to her feet.

Quistis tried desperately to connect to her blue magic, which was different than her well of regular spells, and therefore came from a different place mentally. When she was able to cast a spell of White Wind, she gasped for clean air, and immediately threw out a Ray Bomb and started running before the spell could detonate.

"Get down!" Quistis heard Selphie shout just before impact. The smaller woman shoved the two Galbadian cadets out of the way, the explosion creating a wall of fire between Quistis and her would-be captors.

"Quistis!" Selphie shouted from within the corn field as the blonde started running towards Old Winhill. "You can't run forever! You can't just kill someone and expect to get away with it!"

"I didn't!" Quistis shouted back angrily, but didn't hear if Selphie made a reply, casting another Ray Bomb and making her way towards the cover of buildings.

"I like to think that I knew you really well. At least once." Her magical angel wings were growing so bright that Rinoa's body was thrown in silhouette. "And, then I thought I wouldn't be able to put anything past you now. But..." She shook her head angrily. "Why, Squall?"

"I didn't do it. Xu's framing us." He loathed raising a weapon to his former girlfriend, a woman he still loved and respected greatly. But, he also didn't dare lower it.

"Xu...?" Rinoa asked, scoffing. "The Squall I knew would come clean. He wouldn't try to frame someone else like a coward. He wouldn't have done it in the first place." _That Squall wouldn't have lied to me, either. He wouldn't have cheated on me. He wouldn't have left me and made me feel like a piece of worthless trash._

"I'm not lying."

Squall's voice sounded so familiar and sure. It cause Rinoa's wings to dull in her hesitation, and she took a couple of tentative steps towards her former Knight. Her cautious approach halted when there was a ground-shaking magical explosion behind them, coming from the direction that Ifrit and Seifer had disappeared. Squall's face was thrown in stark relief from the brightness of the fire. The panic in his eyes, the slight parting of those lips that Rinoa had kissed so many times. The lips that she'd fantasized about kissing since the first moment she saw him at the SeeD graduation ball. He'd been the best looking guy there, and he was still the most beautiful man she'd ever seen.

That panic and fear was something she'd seen in his eyes before. But, it had been meant for her. Now meant for someone else. She'd thought he'd loved her. But, he'd been lying the entire time, treating her like a moron, a child. She could feel anger welling in her, and couldn't stop the rise. There was another fiery blast of magic from within old Winhill, which caused Squall to quietly murmur Seifer's name. When Rinoa heard him say Seifer's name, magic snapped from her like a whip. The feathers of her wings were blinding white, and she slapped Squall square in the chest with a hot lash of Sorcery. It sent Squall flying backwards, but he twisted his body so he would do a somersault mid-air and land on his feet.

As soon as Squall's boots touched the gravel road, he sprang himself forward towards his ex-girlfriend. He didn't want to hurt her, but she was in his way. She was the only thing between Squall and where he was certain Seifer was in trouble. "Get out of my way."

When he got blasted in the chest again with searing magic, he knew that she wasn't going to move, and that he was going to have to fight her. The level of anger in her eyes was frightening him. He'd never seen such a look on Rinoa's face before. "Get out of my way," he said again, taking a few steps towards her. The tip of his gunblade was pointing inches from her chin.

"How could you do this?" She asked, voice too calm. Rinoa was normally a ball of emotion. This robotic tone was kind of scary.

"Do what?" Squall asked, also getting angry. Squall could see a building caught in flames out of the corner of his eye. Seifer could more than take care of himself, but he could also be seriously hurt. He could be dead, all because Squall asked him for help. "Kill Cid, or dump you?"

Magic immediately cracked down Rinoa's arm like a wave, lightning flying from her palm into Squall's gunblade. The metal acted as a conduit, and pain coursed across his chest as he was electrocuted by the magic. He forced his brain to stay lucid through the pain, and rushed her. His shoulder collided with her chest, and sent her sprawling back. Her magical wings flickered like a loose light bulb as she stumbled to find her footing. Squall lunged at her again, and his gunblade made contact, the sharp edge cutting across her shoulder and collarbone, blood spurting out immediately. It was a very deep cut, and after only moments, Rinoa's entire arm and side were drenched red. Squall was frozen in place at the site of the gore. He'd struck Rinoa. He'd hurt her! But, she didn't falter, and he was hit in the chest with magic so powerful it flung him in the air like he'd been hit by a car, and so hot that it burned through his shirt. He landed loudly on the ground, coughing and sputtering in pain as his chest smoked, the smell of his own burning skin choking him.

He could feel the ground under him rumbling from one of Ifrit's spells, and he moaned in frustration as he tried to stand. Rinoa walked towards his prone position, and he lashed out desperately with his gunblade, the tip catching her cheek. It was only a glancing blow, and he was rewarded with another jolt of electricity, which pinned him to the ground like shackles. The magic crackled around his legs, holding him down. Suddenly, Rinoa was tackled from the side by a streak of bright light. The lightning around his legs crackled and froze up like the surface of a lake before shattering. The bright light turned out to be Shiva, who had Rinoa's hands gripped in her own. Both women were struggling for control, magic crackling between them. It was hard to look, since both their bodies were magically charged, filling them with brightness.

"Go!" Shiva commanded, the ground creaking and moaning under their feet as it began to freeze. Shiva's yellow ribbons and Rinoa's hair were fluttering in the growing magical wind. "GO!" The Ice Goddess shouted again. Squall nodded and shakily got to his feet, running towards old Winhill. Breathing was a hard task for him because of the magical injury. Each intake was a high-pitched wheeze, but he ran as fast as he could. Along the gravel road, he saw another figure running towards the old buildings, illuminated by a fire on the roof of the old hotel. They looked over their shoulder when they heard Squall's footfalls, and his heart ached in relief to see it was Quistis. They collided together in a tight hug of relief. He could see her eyes were puffy and an angry shade of red from Doomtrain's gases.

"You okay?" She asked.

"Where's Seifer?" Squall demanded in response. His own pain didn't matter now. If something happened to Seifer, it would be all his fault

"There!" Quistis pointed to the fire on the hotel's roof, where it looked like someone had just put it out magically with a water spell. Quistis started running again, casting some blue magic on Squall to ease his pain. She also recast Mighty Guard, to shield them both.

"You wanna burn down the whole fucking town, Chicken Wuss?" Seifer called angrily. He knew he'd just given away his position to Zell and Ifrit, but he couldn't just let the hotel burn, especially when there were probably people inside. If his mind wasn't reeling at a mile a minute, he probably would have thought such a notion from an assassin was amusing.

"Dammit," Zell cursed under his breath from a nearby alley, Seifer's angry voice echoing across the dark alleys where they were playing cat and mouse with each other. Zell knew that Seifer wasn't at a hundred percent because of the attacks from Ifrit, but Ifrit was hurting, too. It wasn't lost on the smaller man that Seifer had done something that he wasn't sure anyone else had done, and killed a GF before. He'd commanded Ifrit without thinking, and knew the fires were totally on him. "Just turn yourself in!" Zell called, flexing his hands. "I know it was your idea to kill Cid. You must have made them do it!"

"They didn't kill him," Seifer hissed. He'd been moving through the alleys towards the sound of Zell's voice, and could now see him. Zell turned around in surprise when he heard Seifer's voice right behind him, and was promptly slammed into the wall. The wind was knocked out of him, but he recovered quickly and gave Seifer a hard punch to the ribs. This was such a familiar feeling to Zell, locked in a physical brawl with Seifer Almasy. But, Zell never thought he'd have to fight him in _this_ kind of situation.

Zell grunted as he was caught under the chin with a hefty uppercut. He was airborne, but he did a flip mid-air, and kicked Seifer hard in the chest. Zell was the much better martial artist, but Seifer was very strong, and his reach dwarfed the much shorter man's. Hyperion went flying out of Seifer's hand and clattered loudly against one of the walls surrounding them.

"I've never been so disgusted by you, Dincht," Seifer hissed as he and Zell started trading punches. Something Seifer didn't want at all. Each of Zell's hits were devastating. "That you would believe the worst about Squall and Quisty, and still have the gall to call yourself their friend."

"It's your fault!" Zell exclaimed. He groaned and fell as Seifer kicked him hard in the left knee.

"Maybe you should ask your girlfriend about what really happened," Seifer taunted. He was bowled over when Zell charged him like a bull, and he took a powerful shoulder in the stomach.

"Don't you dare talk about Xu to me!" Zell shouted. He and Seifer were locked together on the ground, each trying to gain control of the situation. He wound up on top, and started laying punches into Seifer's chest and face.

"You're being used! Open your eyes!" Seifer shouted, black spots floating in his vision. He was going to black out soon from the beating, and had to do something

"I wonder if someone's trying to warn the same thing to Squall right now. Was it you that made him become what he is?"

"Shut up," Seifer warned, voice leaving no room for argument. He groaned when Zell punched him again in the ribs. He was pretty sure some were broken. He struggled to loosen a knife that was strapped to his thigh. "You don't have the fucking right to question my loyalty to them, Dincht." He freed it, and stabbed it into the meatiest part of Zell's thigh. The shorted blonde howled, and the surprise pain was enough that Seifer was able to scurry out from under the other man. "Not when you let a couple tabloids, and that lying bitch dictate your opinion of people you claim to love."

"Shut up about her, you prick!" Zell shouted angrily, yanking the knife out of his knee and summoning Ifrit. Seifer was blown back by the intense heat. Ifrit ran down the alley towards him, and the demon's steel-like talons slashed at Seifer, ripping into his side. Seifer's vision went red, and he immediately crumpled to his knees. He could see Hyperion a few yards away from him, and started to crawl along the dirty ground towards it. He held his hand to the wound, and could feel blood pouring out of him like a waterfall.

Ifrit's paws were balled into fists, fire and smoke licking out from between his fingers. He started charging up a fire spell as Seifer desperately crawled towards his weapon, quickly losing consciousness. He couldn't stop. Squall and Quisty were counting on him. Zell's view of Seifer was partially blocked by his GF, but he could see all the blood smeared on the wall and ground, and his hesitation made Ifrit pause slightly. Zell didn't want to kill anyone, not even Seifer.

"Just give up," Zell commanded, some of the anger draining from his voice. He limped forward to get a view of his opponent, and could see Seifer crawling on the ground in desperation, clawing at it to pull himself forward.

"Fuck you," he ground out, casting an ice spell on Ifrit, which angered the GF. He started charging up the fire spell again, raising his burning paws to rain down a possibly fatal attack on Seifer. The fire left Ifrit's grip, but was blown back by the metallic barrier of a sword, which was immediately plunged into Ifrit's chest, causing the GF to disappear in a magical blast wave, flecks of magic and burning ash floating up into the air.

"Ifrit!" Zell called in shock. He could feel that his GF was still with him psychically, but far too injured to make a return. The alley felt ice cold without the fire demon there, and Zell's shocked breath came out in white, frozen puffs. Zell balled his fists and looked towards Ifrit's attacker, and his composure vanished when he was locked in place by the hellish, burning gaze of Odin, straddling his majestic, six-legged horse.

Seifer's panic rose as he struggled towards his weapon. He looked up at Odin and Sleipnir, feeling like he was inside one of his nightmares. The mystical swordsman dismounted his steed and started to walk towards Zell, raising Zantetsuken and pointing it towards the blonde man, who was frozen in place from fear, each metallic footfall and chink of armour plates moving together sending a horrified chill down his spine, cold sweat beading on his flesh. He didn't raise a hand to defend himself when Odin's sword started slicing down towards him, and he closed his eyes as he was certain this was the moment he would die.

"No..." Seifer ground out weakly, barely able to speak at this point. He'd finally reached Hyperion, but could barely lift it because his hands were slick with his own blood.

Zell opened one eye, and saw Odin staring down at him. The blade was just barely touching Zell's neck, stopped as if it had hit some kind of invisible barrier. Seifer was struggling to try and get to his feet, having to use the wall as a crutch. He slowly raised Hyperion, pointing it right between Odin's shoulder blades.

Odin slowly turned his horned head and regarded Seifer, Zantetsuken still against Zell's throat. He lowered his blade and turned fully to Seifer, walking towards him. Zell didn't move, frozen by complete fear and shock. Seifer's grip on Hyperion weakened, and it fell to the ground. His body started to slump against the wall from blood loss, and he scrambled for his gunblade once more.

"SEIFER!" Squall cried, running towards the alleyway, making out the familiar and frightful form of Odin, coming towards Seifer.

"Squall, wait!" Quistis called, but Squall had torn off, running as fast as he could.

As he got closer, his heart lurched at the site of all the wet, slick blood that looked black in the moonlight. "Seifer!" The alley was bitingly cold as Squall flung himself between Seifer and Odin, his own gunblade pointed right at Odin's chest, one arm flung out as he used his own body as a shield for his lover. Odin reached out and put a hand around Squall's weapon, his metal gloves scratching eerily against the blade. The Lord of the Dead lowered Squall's weapon as if it were nothing.

"Get away from him!" Quistis shouted at Odin, cracking her whip. White Wind was already charged in her hand, and she pushed the magic onto Seifer, who was looking grey.

Odin reached out one hand for Sleipnir's bridle, and the other was gestured towards the three of them. Suddenly, Squall and Quistis felt a tug at their cores, like they were being yanked from existence altogether. It made them feel like they did when they'd gone through Time Compression to Ultimecia's castle. Like they were falling through the world itself. Squall instinctively reached out and grabbed Seifer and Quistis's hands, not knowing if they were falling through time, or dying, or what. He just knew he didn't want to be separated from them.

Zell was left alone in the alley, slowly coming back to himself as his paralysing fear disappeared. The only evidence that anyone else had been there at all was Seifer's blood smeared on the ground and alley walls, and a red mark across Zell's throat where Odin's sword had pressed against his skin.

---

Squall gasped for air as his feet touched solid ground again. It was much colder and windy, but Squall didn't care or notice. He was staring at Odin, and again put himself between the GF and Seifer, holding Lionheart in an attack stance.

"Where are we...?" Quistis asked, looking around. They were standing in the outer edges of a lush forest, parched lands visible in the distance. A distant and distinct 'wark' sound could be heard. "Wait..." She recognized this place. It was the Chocobo Forest on the Lenown Plains. They were in Centra.

Odin stepped towards Seifer, but Squall slashed at him. Squall only briefly looked over his shoulder at Seifer, who was standing upright and rubbing his side in surprise. It was no longer bleeding, and colour was flooding back into his face. Odin swatted away Lionheart, and then put his hands on Squall's shoulders, moving him aside as if he were a mere child. So that he and Seifer were directly facing each other.

"Guys, we're in Centra..." Quistis trailed off in wonderment. One second they were in Winhill, the next in Centra. Had they teleported?! Only Sorceresses could do that

Odin took another step towards Seifer, Squall once more getting between them. Squall slashed at Odin again, Zantetsuken coming up and blocking Lionheart's further attacks.

"Stop," Seifer commanded gently, his voice sounding stronger. He put a hand on Squall's shoulder, his own weapon held down at his side. Squall just glared at Odin. "It's okay," Seifer said firmly. Squall continued to glare for a moment longer, and slowly lowered his gunblade. Odin did the same with his own sword.

"This is as far as I can take you," Odin said as Seifer stepped around Squall to face the GF that he'd thought he'd murdered. "Teleporting humans further than this would result in death. And, I won't be able to teleport you again. Your bodies couldn't handle more."

"You're supposed to be dead," Seifer whispered, trying to remind himself that this wasn't one of his nightmares. That Ultimecia too wouldn't show up at any second.

"You can't kill what's already dead." Odin almost sounded amused. His voice reverberated through them, like it was vibrating their souls.

"Why did you help us?" Quistis asked.

Odin flicked his metal fingers near his face, and the emotionless features that made up his mask, and the horned helmet started to float away like grains of sand to reveal his face to them, Ivan's face. But, it was a much older Ivan than they were used to seeing. He looked like he could be about Laguna's age, or maybe even older. His head was shaved bald, and there were crow's feet wrinkles at the corners of his dark eyes.

"What the fuck...?" Squall breathed out. He then noticed that the burn on his chest from Rinoa's attack was gone. Quistis stared in silent shock.

Seifer shook his head, jaw hanging open. "Well... I guess I didn't have to make myself sick with worry that something bad might have happened to you," he said a little angrily.

Odin chuckled lightly. It sounded familiar to Seifer because of all the times he'd heard Ivan laughed, but at the same time it sounded deathly and a little creepy. He released his grip on Sleipnir's bridle, and the horse neighed lightly, but stayed close to his master.

"_Why_?!" Was the only thing that Seifer could think of to say next.

"You're the first person since my human body died that actually defeated me. When I was actually trying, that is." He gave a sidelong look to Squall, who had indeed defeated Odin once. Squall felt a little stung by the comment, like Odin/Ivan was making fun of him. Or, maybe he was starting to feel a _ton_ of jealousy, so was projecting. "Out of honour and respect, I pledged myself to protect you until the day you die."

"By fucking me...?" Seifer asked incredulously.

"That wasn't part of my initial plan," Odin conceded. "I needed to go... undercover, I suppose you could say. When you defeated me, there was the unfortunate side effect that the thieving rat known as Gilgamesh came and took my sword from me. I needed it back, but he would have never shown his cowardly face if he'd felt my aura, so I became my younger, human self. Also, I needed to get into Esthar undetected so I could have the Guardian Force detector they'd invented. I could not have done this as I am now. Besides, I always did want to be a dancer, but my royal duties prevented it."

"So, what...? You were using me?"

"Maybe a little. But, you were using me, too. I gave you the companionship you needed at the time, and I... well, in my human form, I felt desire I hadn't felt in 5000 years. My respect became want."

"That's why you told me you didn't want a serious relationship..." Seifer trailed off. He lowered himself onto a rock, legs unable to support his weight any longer.

"Now that I'm back to this form, that human lust has vanished, but my admiration for you remains."

"So... you had sex with a Guardian Force?" Quistis asked. "That... that's pretty hot."

"Quisty!" Seifer exclaimed in annoyance. "This is serious." Odin's eyes were glittering in amusement, though he did not smile.

"What now...?" Seifer asked, looking up at Odin.

"Rest here, in the Chocobo Forest. Its magical barriers will allow you, and your Guardian Forces, time to heal. There are deep mines and caves within the Talle Mountains that I would recommend taking."

"Are you coming with us?" Quistis asked.

"No. Now that I've returned, I have duties I have to attend to." Odin reached out for Sleipnir, and mounted his horse, horned helmet and mask returning to cover up the face of Ivan Blackmoon. "But, I'll always be there when you need me most." He leaned down, and stroked a finger across Seifer's cheek. Odin's masked face then looked up at Squall. He must have seen the jealousy flare in Squall's eyes, because Squall heard Odin's voice in his mind. '_It is I who should be jealous of you._' He then squeezed his horse with his legs, and Sleipnir reared up, and started to gallop away, vanishing into the air.

"Um... that was pretty insane," Quistis replied, both she and Seifer staring at the point on the horizon where Odin had evaporated. "So...?"

Seifer called to Bahamut, who came forth as a kitten-sized dragon, translucent from weakness. Disjunctioning would help him heal faster. Quistis followed suit, both winged creatures flying further into the forest so they could find a place to rest. Squall eventually also called Shiva, who stayed human-sized.

"Is she okay...?" Squall asked quietly of his GF, Seifer and Quistis unable to hear him.

Shiva nodded once. "Injured, but she'll live."

"Okay." Squall watched as she followed Diablos and Bahamut. He looked over his shoulder at Seifer, at his bloodstained clothes, and mustered a small smile of relief. But, right now it was being outweighed by his guilt.

"We should find a place to rest. I think there's a clearing up ahead. This way," Quistis pointed. She started rubbing her eyes, which itched annoyingly.

Seifer walked slowly behind the other two, still trying to wrap his head around the fact that his ex-boyfriend was really Odin. That he'd actually had sex with a 5000 year old god of the afterlife. That Odin hadn't killed Zell because Seifer had mentally willed it It was a lot to process. He also noticed how upset Squall seemed. But, his air suggested he wanted to be left alone right now.

"Here we go." Quistis found the clearing from memory. Diablos must have seen this place in her mind too, because the GF found it as well. Bahamut nodded to Seifer, and the three of them vanished. Seifer, Squall and Quistis would just have to trust their GF to come back.

"We should sleep in shifts," Seifer announced. "Not just tonight, but until we get to Esthar. We'll take watches of two and a half hours each, and rotate so the same person always doesn't have to take middle watch and have interrupted rest. Squall, you take first watch, I'll take middle, and Quisty take last watch. Then, tomorrow I'll take first, Squall will take the middle, and Quisty will take first, and so on. Okay?"

"Sounds fine." Quistis lay down on the soft, mossy ground. It wasn't exactly comfortable, but she was sure it would be a lot better than any perches in the mountains they would find for rest. Squall picked up Lionheart and took up a seat on a large, mossy rock, still thinking about all the blood on Rinoa, the blood all over Seifer. How he'd actually raised a weapon to her. How Seifer had looked so close to death. Seifer lay down beside Quistis, looking over at Squall as he felt sleep start to take him almost immediately.

Seifer's watch alarm woke him up at the start of middle watch. He grunted in annoyance as he dragged himself up. He could see Squall standing near a fallen tree, looking out into the forest. His gunblade was resting on his shoulder. Seifer picked up Hyperion and slowly walked over to him. He gently put a hand on the other man's shoulder, which caused Squall to jump. He'd been buried in his own head, and completely lost track of time.

"Watch is over," Seifer whispered. He opened his mouth to say something, seeing the haunted look on Squall's face. But, what...? It wasn't exactly an easy situation. "Get some sleep," was what he wound up saying.

Squall looked up at the other man, lowering his weapon to his side. "You're not going to say anything to comfort me?" He asked dully.

"I didn't think you'd want me to."

"Why not?"

"I didn't think you'd want me to remind you that she was trying to kill you, same as Zell or any of the others, and that we were just defending ourselves. I thought it might sound a little insensitive and full of petty jealousy."

"I just never thought that I would have to actually, you know... _stab_ her."

"I know."

"Bu...t I know you're right. And, you're allowed to sound jealous if I'm allowed to be jealous about Odin. But, you don't have a reason to be."

"I know," Seifer repeated, though he sounded pretty uncertain.

"I'm feeling guilty now, but at the time, I would have killed her just to get to you. Seeing all that blood on you..." He trailed off, voice cracking a little. His eyes searched Seifer's clear peridot gaze.

"Well, gee... and me being the, you know, _assassin_, stopped Odin from killing Chicken Wuss. Maybe you should have been the one in the Solar System."

"I'm being serious."

"I know," Seifer said for the third time. He reached out and ran his fingers through Squall's hair. "When are you _not_?"

"If you'd died... it would have been my..."

"But, I didn't," Seifer answered, not letting him finish that sentence as he pulled Squall's face towards his own for a kiss. Squall reached up and touched the side of Seifer's neck as their tongues brushed against each other. The way Seifer was kissing him, coupled with the tranquility of the surroundings, made the whole thing very romantic. It seemed like the perfect time to say 'I love you' to Seifer for the first time. Squall had said it once on the phone, but Seifer had hung up before he could hear it. Squall felt those three words deeply, but when they broke apart and their eyes met, there was something that prevented them from becoming vocalized. Maybe it showed in his eyes, because Seifer smiled in a very intimate way. "Get some sleep," he murmured, running his thumb across Squall's lower lip before pulling away. Squall reached out and touched his arm for a moment longer before going back across the clearing to where Quistis was sleeping deeply.


	10. Chapter 10

****

Chapter 10

"Okay, here's one. Would you rather be a werewolf or a vampire?" Quistis asked breathlessly as they continued on a steep climb along a path within the Almaj Mountain chain. Seifer, as usual, was in the lead, and today she was bringing up the rear. They were making inane conversation to pass the time, and to try and forget how sore their feet and legs were, and all the scratches on their hands from the sharp rocks that just seemed to ignore gloves, and cut right through them. "Squall, you don't have to answer since I know you're going to say vampire." They'd been travelling through the unforgiving, jagged Almaj terrain for four or five days. They'd heard the sound of Garden airships, but there were plenty of nooks and crannies to keep themselves concealed while their enemies passed overhead.

They were also finding out that Garden and any army operatives they were hiring weren't their only problem. The Centran weather was harsh and arid. The days got quite hot, and the nights were frigid. The air was getting thinner as they climbed higher into the peaks, and the animals and monsters were all very dangerous. But, Squall and Quistis fed off Seifer's calm and collected demeanour. He acted as if they were strolling through a historic Dollet promenade, displaying his wealth of knowledge about Centra's terrain and life forms. Or, showing off a little. He couldn't help it. But, the other two appreciated the distraction, and the things they learned _were_ rather interesting, and Quistis loved anything educational. As for Squall, he would have enjoyed listening to Seifer read the phone book. But, on the other hand, he was kind of like a slave driver. He wouldn't let them slow down, and frowned on taking breaks.

"What?" Squall looked over his shoulder. "How do you know?"

Seifer also looked back, him and Quistis sharing a look before they both started laughing.

"...Whatever," Squall muttered poutishly. Though, he couldn't really deny it. He would totally choose to be a vampire.

"What about you?" Quistis asked of Seifer.

"Werewolf," The blonde answered after only a very small pause.

"What?" Squall demanded, voice sharp in surprise.

Seifer raised an eyebrow and regarded him with a look that melted Squall into his boots and sent blood rushing to his genitals. "What, you're mad?" He asked laughingly.

"I figured you would choose vampire."

"I'd miss the sun too much. You'd be more in tune with nature as a werewolf, instead of at odds with it. You'd be less of a monster."

"But, you'd lose your consciousness every full moon," Squall pointed out. "And, vampires seem much more romantic. That's why I figured you'd choose to be one."

"Oh dear Hyne, you _are_ mad!" Seifer exclaimed, looking over his shoulder as he chuckled. Though, of course he didn't slow their pace.

"That's so sweet!" Quistis exclaimed, her enthusiasm making her chest hurt a little. They were pretty high up, so oxygen was harder to come by.

"Am not," Squall pouted. "And, shut up."

"You're upset because you think you should have known what Seifer would say. Soooo cute!" The look on Squall's face made her laugh even harder than she already was. Not just because of how irritated he was, but because of the blush in his cheeks that screamed 'yes, that's true', even if he wanted to deny it to his deathbed.

Squall remained silent, maybe because his ego was stung because Quistis's teasing was a little close to the mark. Seifer seemed far more internally thoughtful about such a superficial question, and Squall noticed a muscle twitching in the other man's jaw.

"So, you wouldn't want to be a were-lion?"

"That wasn't an option in your choice."

"Oh Squall, you have no imagination. I guess it's a good thing I find that attractive in you. Good, but pathetic and disturbing, too." He was teasing, of course, but Squall could still hear a distracted note in his voice.

"Holy Hyne!" Quistis hissed, leaping back when some big giant thing flew near her face, making some sort of horrific noise between a click and a buzz. "What the hell was that?!"

"Centran Junebug. They aren't poisonous, but it hurts like hell if they bite you, and their legs have sharp grippers."

"Yeah, I'm getting that..." Quistis grit through clenched teeth, the giant beetle-like creature having landed on her shoulder. "Ow, ow, ow. Dammit!" She slapped at the thing, and it made a sickening crunch under her heavy glove. "Gross." She flicked it to the ground, groaning in frustration. "Gods, I am never going to forgive Garden for this."

"You have to," Seifer responded, still seeming distracted. He was looking up to the sky, and sniffed the air a few times.

"Says who?" The former Instructor grumped. "After what Xu's done to us? How they all believed lies about so readily?"

"Yeah, really. Fuck them," Squall chimed in.

"You have to forgive them," repeated Seifer, like there was no room for argument.

"And, why exactly must I?" She asked, minding her footing when they reached a section of the path where the rocks were loose.

"Because Garden's reputation has to be saved so they can be strong in the future. If two of the most prominent SeeD are cleared of false charges that were brought to them by Garden, and they don't forgive it as the act of one person, they Garden will never recover. You think people would send their kids there?"

"I wouldn't send my kids there right about now."

"What would happen in the future, then?" Seifer asked tightly. "Who would be strong enough to stave off Ultimecia?"

Quistis and Squall both stopped in their tracks, mouths parted with a lack of reply.

"Without SeeD, Ultimecia would be able to rise to power faster than she does in the future we saw. She'd have no opposition, and Time Compression would happen. Everything would die"

"I guess... I never really thought of that," Quistis said, kind of embarrassed. "It's hard to wrap your head around it as not having actually happened yet, even though it kind of did. I guess I forgot."

"Wish I could too," was Seifer's quiet reply, just loud enough that they could hear it over the wind. He said nothing more after that. What did he need to say, honestly? His body language remained stiff and distracted for a long enough time that Squall couldn't really not notice it anymore, even if he was a master of ignoring other people's problems. But, never with Quistis. Never with Seifer.

"You okay?" Squall asked quietly, reaching out with one gloved hand to touch Seifer's arm. He let his fingers hover for the sake of physical contact. In this situation, it's not like they got much time to act like the couple they actually were, even though it didn't seem 'official' yet. It's not like they could just slip off and have sex and leave Quistis all by herself in this hostile environment. They knew she wouldn't have minded if they disappeared together for ten or fifteen minutes, but it just never occurred to them.

"Hmm?" He looked down into Squall's eyes. It still made his knees weak, even after all these years, to get lost in that sea of cold blue. Like warm, tropical waters locked under a layer of protective ice. "Yeah, yeah. Just internalizing." Seifer stroked Squall's cheekbone, then his lower lip. "You must be rubbing off on me." He gave Squall a quick, gentle kiss on the mouth. Before he could go back to the front of their single-file march, Squall tightly wrapped his hand around Seifer's wrist, and brought him back in for a second kiss.

Seifer gave a grin that was so quintessentially Almasy before they separated themselves from each other. "Maybe I'm just wondering what life as a were-tonberry would be like. Probably better than some were-rooster, like that Chicken Wuss would totally be."

"Bitch about him all you want, but we know you haven't written him off," Quistis murmured, still smiling serenely after watching Seifer and Squall share a quiet intimate kiss. It wasn't a smile of sexual gratification, but of joy at seeing normalcy. At seeing a semblance of happiness in this cold, lonely and unforgiving environment. Both men had been so miserable over the past couple of years, that it was nice to see them smile, even for a moment. "You didn't let Odin kill him."

Seifer was saved from answering from a scent he was picking up. But, knowing what it was didn't really constitute being 'saved', depending on how you looked at it. His pace slowed until he was completely stopped. Though, he kind of would have rather stood here and faced down what he was smelling rather than answer Quistis's question about Zell.

"Seifer, what's...?" Quistis began to ask, but snapped her mouth shut when Seifer cut a hand through the air to silence her.

"Don't call magic. Don't call your GF. Don't go for your weapons."

"Why?" Squall whispered. Seifer was staring straight ahead, and then he could feel an earthquake. The surprise of the ground shaking caused him to reach out for Seifer and grip his shoulder. But, his lover seemed unphased.

The shaking stopped, then happened again. Stopped, happened again. Squall and Quistis slowly realized it was in a pattern, and when they saw a large frame crest the mountain path ahead of them, they knew it had been a ruby dragon's footsteps.

"Oh, shit..." Quistis trailed off, instinctively charging a blizzard spell in her palm. The highly intelligent reptile sensed it, and let out a piercing, angry growl.

"No magic," Seifer hissed, looking over his shoulder at her. He was standing in front of them to shield the smaller two with his larger body, to make them seem smaller. It's not like the dragon would think they were just one person if Seifer hid Squall and Quistis - they were too smart for that, but they would look less threatening. Seifer briefly closed his eyes in panic when he saw a second figure crest the hill. A baby. This massive dragon was a cow, and she had her baby with her. Not good. She'd be extra angry, and she took up the whole path, wings scraping against the sides of the mountains, so they couldn't just sneak past. And, she would have smelled them long before Seifer smelled her.

"Keep your hands away from your weapons," Seifer warned. "No sudden movements."

If Seifer was panicked, it was nothing to the way Quistis and Squall were feeling. They'd had to battle ruby dragons before. It wasn't fun, and the few times they did, they'd barely escaped with their lives. But, those dragons had all been alone. The fact this one had a baby would mean she'd be extra mean.

The calf tried to dart in front of its mother by slipping under her wing, but she flapped it out to prevent her inquisitive young from going to investigate the tiny creatures in their path. Her baby didn't yet know the dangers of humans, their frail size hiding their cruelty. But, the one in the front, shielding the other two

How many of these things had Quistis faced down in her life as a SeeD? And, here she was still with cold sweat trickling down her back. Her hand was desperate to reach for her whip, and to feel the warmth of blue magic in her palm. Seifer was shepherding her and Squall against his back with all the air of someone who knew what he was doing, but she could feel the tenseness in his arms. He must have been in this situation several times before without drawing a weapon against such a powerful, dangerous animal, and wasn't ever hurt. She could hear the two men sharply intake their breath when the large cow lowered her head, like she was trying to get a better look at them. But, her gaze didn't waver from Seifer, who was staring right back, sweat soaking his back.

One of the great, red leathery wings folded up against her body, and she inclined her head to them in a gesture of acceptance. Seifer stood frozen with Squall and Quistis pressed to his back. "Come on," he whispered to them, slowly shuffling around the dragon. Her body was still so big that they almost brushed against her. They never put their back to the dragon as they sidestepped past. The calf shuffled towards them, and Seifer tensed when it came even closer. Even though it was a baby, it was already bigger than a full-grown Chocobo. It had its head lowered, and slowly craned its neck out towards Seifer, acting like a dog that wanted to be petted. It kind of lunged itself forward and nudged the blonde in what it probably meant as a playful caress, but would leave Seifer with a darkly bruised ribcage.

Seifer awkwardly petted the baby dragon's head, where its black horns were only just starting to grow in. It would take decades to get the full head of powerful black horns like its mother. The pat seemed to satisfy it, and it clumsily jogged over to its mother, who was continuing along the mountain path. The three humans were left to stare in shock as she kept walking, grumbling at her calf to keep moving. It gave a playful bellow at them before leaping away, flapping its wings and trying to fly even though it didn't know how.

"Ummm... what?" Quistis asked, befuddled.

"Are you hurt?" Squall whispered into Seifer's ear when the taller man bowled over, holding his ribs.

"Nah." He righted himself again, stroking his stomach. "It just winded me, but I didn't want to show it hurt in front of them. They would have known." He waved off Squall's question, but the look of concern in his wintery eyes made Seifer kind of want to milk it, just so Squall would look at him like that for a little while longer.

"It never gets easy to face down one of those," Quistis murmured, peering at Seifer intently with her best Instructor face on. "Do you know what just happened?"

Seifer shook his head, slowly turning around and starting to continue walking. He looked over his shoulder once more. "It's happened a couple times before, though. With ruby dragons, and once with a hexadragon. Me and Raijin stumbled upon a bull ruby sleeping once. I thought for sure he would rip our heads off just for inconveniencing him, but he just kind of looked at me and went back to sleep. And, nesting mothers are even more bad-tempered than bulls. She should have obliterated us back there."

"I think she would have, if it had just been me and Squall."

"Yeah, but... I don't know what that means." Seifer fell into an internal, thoughtful silence which was contagious to the other two. Keeping single file, they kept marching along the lonely mountain path, each step bringing them closer to Esthar.

---

"Come in!" Xu barked when there was a knock on her new office door. She'd set up shop in the Headmaster's quarters, and come to realize that there was a lot of work to be done before she could actually get to running Garden. Cid had been highly disorganized about paperwork, which wasn't a surprise at all. More like a rage-inducing fact. Xu would have killed him right then and there if she hadn't done so already. She was expecting to see Astor or Luchia, or even Zell, so it was a big surprise when it was Nida's head that poked in.

"Is it okay if I come in?"

"Nida! Yeah... sure..." She trailed off quietly, gesturing for him to enter. She hadn't seen him since she'd issued Operation: Mariposa, and thought he might feel mutinous about trying to kill the object of his affections. "Do you want to sit down?"

"I just came to drop off this finalized report, looking into Seifer's recent activities in Dollet. It's pretty thin, just to warn you."

"Oh, great." Xu reached out and took the folder from him. His lips were pursed, and he looked pensive. Conflicted. "You okay?" Hyne, he was so beautiful

"Oh... well, no. But, you know that. It's not like this thing is easy, you know?"

"No, I know that."

"I guess it's just hard to admit that maybe I don't know Quistis as well as I thought," Nida admitted, completely pained to even say the words. "And, I know it must have been hard to give the order. For Mariposa, I mean." He shuffled his feet. "Anyway, I just wanted you to know that. I'll keep you posted if I dig up anything else about Seifer."

"Yeah, sure..." She watched as he left, mystified. Was Nida's opinion of Quistis really starting to sour? Xu's heart quickened at the idea. She didn't let herself get her hopes up that his affection for Quistis might be waning, but she really wanted to. She wanted to let herself feel that giddy joy, to feel her heart try and soar out of her chest. But, no... she wouldn't go after him. She wouldn't press him. She'd let him come to her in time.

But... what if... what if this was all some plot? Xu wasn't stupid. She knew that Irvine was suspicious. As his partner, would Nida agree with him? Would he use Xu's feelings as a way to try and get closer to her?

Xu picked up the phone and paged Luchia to her office.

"Yes?" The cold woman asked when she came in.

"I need you to keep an eye on Nida. Particularly his interactions with Irvine."

"And, I'll be looking for what, exactly?"

"Just do it," Xu answered waspishly, leaning back in her new chair. It already felt like it'd belonged to her for years. "But... keep your distance about it, alright?"

"Fine."

Though she did have her doubts, Xu felt good as she leaned back in the chair again, spinning it around so she could look out the large picture windows over the calm, clear ocean. For the first time in the longest time, she didn't feel overshadowed by Squall, or by Quistis. Quistis wasn't getting everything that Xu strived for. For once, everything was working out in Xu's favour.

---

"Can't we stop for a little while?" Squall asked testily. They were still in the Almaj, probably at the highest altitude they'd reached yet. Air was hard to come by, and they hadn't seen fresh water in days, except for the cold, icy drizzle they'd been pelted with for days.

"We just stopped," Seifer muttered, still pressing on. They were all hungry and tired, and were extra cranky. They were snapping at each other over nothing, and Quistis hadn't spoken to them in hours after some stupid blow-up.

Squall muttered bitterly under his breath. His clothes were soaked, and the only time Seifer would let them stop was to have a quick nibble every three or four hours, and to change their socks if they got wet.

"What was that?" Seifer hissed over his shoulder. The fur that lined the hook of his parka was matted and laced with ice from the hail.

"Nothing," Squall mumbled.

"Yeah, you've been muttering about nothing all day. So, either let me actually fucking hear it, or shut up."

"We aren't allowed to rest. We aren't allowed to complain," Quistis replied in a sarcastic sing-song tone. "No magic to warm ourselves."

"If you want Garden to sense the magical discharge, be my guest."

Quistis childishly mimicked him, then slipped on an icy patch of loose rocks. She fell to her hands and knees, cursing. She felt a hand wrap around her upper arm, and she shook it off angrily. "I don't need help!" She spat, wiping her glasses again. She let out a string of vicious curses and just put the spectacles away. It was a complete lost cause in this snowy rain.

"...Whatever," Squall muttered. "We shouldn't have fucking come here."

"What?" Seifer asked, slowing his hectic walking pace to a stop. He spun around and looked at Squall. "What was that?"

"Nothing."

"No, it wasn't fucking 'nothing', Squall. Just say it."

"We should have gone to Trabia. Look at us! We're fucking lost in the mountains."

"We aren't lost."

"Do you have any fucking idea where we're going? Or, how we're actually supposed to cross the Kashkabald without being seen?" Squall demanded, lashing out in his weariness. "Or, did you just lead us here without thinking of the consequences, like you always do? Did you just trust Odin because he fucked you?"

Seifer glared at the other man. "You were the one who came to me for help, Squall."

"Maybe I shouldn't have."

"Okay. Go home, then. Let Garden fucking kill you for all I care. I ruined my life to come help you, and all I get is shit, and you mooning over Rinoa. 'Is she hurt?', 'what if I seriously hurt her?' I'm getting sick of it."

"I could have killed her! Like you have any compassion for anyone but yourself!"

"Fuck off, Squall. Go to Trabia, then. Go back to Garden and to your Sorceress, then." Seifer turned his back and kept walking along the path, angrily pulling out his gunblade for the first time that day.

Squall just crossed his arms and looked away, stubbornly staying where he was even though Seifer obviously wasn't going to stop and wait. Quistis just trudged along, not bothering to move out of the way when she passed Squall, so she banged shoulders with him.

"Fuck off," Squall hissed at her.

"Why don't you both shut up?!" She demanded angrily. "You think you're the only two here? I have to listen to your stupid spats too, you know?" She stomped along, cracking some ice off her mittens, then off her whip, ice shards flying against the rock walls around them.

Squall really was tempted to turn around and just go home. He turned around, away from Seifer and Quistis, and just started walking in the direction they'd come. He slipped a few times because the ground was getting so precarious with hail, but he didn't want to turn around out of hurt pride. Fuck them. Fuck Seifer. These two were really his best friends? This was really the man he'd chosen to be with? He was a fucking bastard, and Quistis was an uppity know-it-all.

Squall slowed his angry pace and stopped, looking over a bluff through the clouds. The black South Centra Sea was far, far below, and he was completely alone. He couldn't just turn and go back. He had to keep going to Esthar, because there was nowhere else to go. So, what choice did he have? He turned around and started walking eastward again. He didn't hurry to catch up to Seifer and Quistis, and by the amount of time it took him to get them in his sights, they hadn't stopped for him, either. Squall hoisted Lionheart on his shoulders, and kept a distance from the two of them, wanting to internalize for a while.

Seifer may not have stopped his relentless pace towards Esthar, but Squall caught him look over his shoulder a couple of times. So, he was checking, but hadn't stopped, hadn't gone back to make sure Squall was okay. Again he was filled with tired, angry bitterness. This whole situation was shit. He glared death lasers into Seifer and Quistis's backs. They made really good scapegoats since he couldn't exactly rip Xu's face off from here.

Seifer and Quistis's moods weren't much better. Quistis was mad at both of them for constantly fighting around her. Mad at Xu. Mad at herself. She was so sore and hungry and tired and just hated everything right now. Seifer was being a big bully, and Squall was acting like a petulant princess. But, at least they still had each other. What did she have? A big, fat nothing! She could have been happy with Nida. He was pretty much throwing himself at her, but she had to be all noble and self-sacrificing and afraid. Just like always. Stupid and blind, too. She cracked her whip, ice building on it once more. How could Xu have done this to her?!

She was too busy bullying herself and fuming about Xu, that she didn't notice Seifer had stopped in front of her, so she banged into his back, which felt like a brick wall right about now. God, she needed rest and food. Clean, dry clothes would be nice, too. And, she missed her knitting, dammit!

"What the fuck?" Quistis exclaimed angrily. "You couldn't say you were going to stop?" She rubbed her shoulder, where it'd made contact with Seifer's spine.

"You hear that?" He asked, rather dreamily. He had his head cocked towards the source of the noise. He started walking slowly towards the sound, but didn't draw Hyperion. It wasn't necessary. There was a jutting of rock from the mountain face, and it created a small cave, where the noise was coming from. Seifer was pretty certain he knew what it was, since they made such a distinct sound, but he didn't want to let himself believe that he was about to lay eyes on them, in the wild.

"Hear what?" Squall asked sourly.

"Shh!" Seifer hissed, creeping up to the cave. It was too small for the three of them to enter, but they could crouch at the mouth to look inside. He couldn't help but put a hand over his mouth in surprise, his heart feeling light as air when he saw a family of moogles. Actually living in the wild! They were so, so endangered that this was a once in a lifetime thing. And, not only one moogle, but three adults and babies. The babies were young enough that they hadn't even grown their trademark red pom-poms. The females nipples were enlarged and dark against her snowy fur, so they were young enough to still be nursing.

"Oh my God!" Quistis whispered, touching her fingers to her lips and smiling for the first time that day. Actually, she hadn't smiled that wide in a long, long time. She looked over to Squall in happy surprise. He had the exact same kind of look on his face, all his surly tension melting away.

The adult moogles were staring at the humans, faces full of wariness. Humans were the reason that there were so few moogles in the world. They'd been hunted to virtual extinction for their fur and wings, which humans thought had medicinal and aphrodisiacal properties. Moogles were very skilled magically, but these humans seemed okay. The small, furry white creatures could read auras quite well, and sensed no ill will.

"Hello, kupo!" The youngest looking adult greeted. Probably a juvenile. His pom-pom was smaller than the other two.

Seifer smiled, and had to cover his shaking mouth. He felt on the verge of tears, and when the babies looked at them, he couldn't help but laugh. There was just something about seeing a moogle in person that could send even the most hard-hearted person into transports of delight, and make them act like a ten year old girl.

"They're the cutest things I've ever seen!" Quistis whispered, practically bouncing on the spot.

Squall lowered himself to the cold, wet ground, sitting cross-legged but not feeling the chill. The young adult came slowly flying over to him, purple wings beating quickly to carry his heavy, fluffy body. Squall reached out and touched the moogle's forehead, then ripped his mitten off so he could feel the fur under his bare fingertips. It was softer than anything he'd ever felt in his life. The moogle gave its typical whistling peep noise, and came closer so Squall could keep petting him. "Kupo!" He exclaimed, seeming to enjoy the attention, eyes sliding shut.

Meanwhile, Seifer had pulled out a pen and paper, trying to shield it from the slushy snow. He was writing furiously, and even pulled out his phone so he could take a couple of pictures. The female seemed quite interested in the phone, and came over to him so she could examine it. The smell of her washed any bad feelings out of Seifer, and he just breathed it in like he was meditating. He didn't even realize that he was actually crying from sheer delight.

"What's your name, kupo?" The moogle Squall was petting asked in a Centran dialect.

"Squall. This is Quisty, and Seifer."

"Nice to meet you, kupo! I've never seen humans before. I'm Serino."

"Nice to meet you, too."

"Where are you going?"

"Esthar."

"Is it far, kupo?"

"Yeah."

"Sounds fun!" The moogle peeped and smiled, and Squall's heart broke in a million pieces. He looked over and saw that Seifer was looking at him rather than the moogles. The look in the other man's eyes warmed his soul more than even this soft white fur and the sweet, nutty scent coming from it.

"We should go," Seifer said quietly, rising to his feet. He said with total regret. He wouldn't have minded sitting there forever with the moogles.

"Awww," Quistis murmured with disappointment. "Okay." She groaned as she pulled her sore body to full height.

"Goodbye Serino." Squall waved and followed the other two humans, looking back to see the moogles waving at them. Even the babies.

The three of them fell into silence as they marched along. But, it was a far calmer, more serene silence than the ones they'd been sharing for the first part of the day. Seeing the moogles had calmed them, and the anger and crankiness seeped from their bodies.

Because of the bad weather and low cloud cover, it got much darker much faster. They hadn't said anything to each other in hours, not since seeing the moogles, so it was kind of shocking when Seifer said "stop." His voice seemed as loud as a gunshot. They were in front of an alcove-like shape of rocks, and there were actually conifer trees here. The reason he said to stop though wasn't because of the rare sight of trees in the mountains, but because Bahamut told him to. It was the first time in days that his GF had spoken in his head, and the dragon hadn't been summoned once since Winhill. That much magic would be impossible to hide.

"Wait... Diablos is saying 'stop'!" Quistis exclaimed, squinting her eyes as she listened to her GF within her head. Shiva was also telling Squall the same. "It's an environmental shield," Quistis murmured. She was more tuned magically than either man, so could feel it. The way the rocks and trees were created a natural shield to cloak the use of magic from any outsiders, and all three GF were mentally requesting to be separated from their masters.

"This would be a good place to stop. We can stand watch while you rest," Bahamut murmured quietly, though they could still feel his ethereal voice rumbling through the ground and vibrating their bones.

Quistis sighed in relief as she practically crawled into the alcove. She started picking up some rocks and made a circle for a fire. She didn't need wood, since she could actually use magic for it. Too many nights they'd have to suffer the cold with no fire, so it was nice. Diablos perched himself above the alcove to watch, his wings acting like an umbrella.

"Hey," Quistis said quietly as she nudged Squall's shoulder with her own. "Sorry I snapped at you guys."

"No apology needed," Seifer murmured, looking out to Bahamut. "We were all tired and cranky, and lost our tempers. Not to mention dirty. And sore. Hungry, cold, wet, angry, frustrated. Scared."

"Me too," was Squall's less than verbose reply. "I'm sorry, I mean," he clarified. Rinoa had once accused him of always saying 'me too' instead of using the more emotionally charged, important words like 'I'm sorry', or especially 'I love you'.

"I know." She put her arm around his shoulder and brought him in for a hug. One that Squall didn't shy away from. It felt good to feel her arms around him, to know that she was there beside him, and she hadn't turned her back on him. He could feel her lips press to the top of his head, and it felt so comforting.

"What, I don't get a hug?" Seifer asked, mock-hurt lacing his voice.

Without breaking apart, Squall and Quistis opened up the embrace so it became a three-person hug. Quistis loved being hugged by Seifer since he was so strong and so much bigger than her. It felt like how a child feels being hugged by their father or a much elder brother. Like they were safe and protected, and nothing bad would happen to them in those arms. And, she knew it wasn't like Squall minded being so close to Seifer. She could feel his body melt just a little bit against her side.

"So, when does the orgy start?" Seifer asked, giving Quistis a wink.

"You know, I really wouldn't mind..." She trailed off, slyly looking over at Squall, pretending to be all coquettish. The look returned to her was one of complete distaste.

Seifer shook his head as he broke away from the other two. "Seriously, no sense of humour."

Quistis found herself getting strangely teary-eyed as she looked at the other two. Really, they were the only two people in the world to her right now. They hadn't seen another person in about a week, maybe longer. They'd lost all sense of time, and may as well have been on another planet. Even Esthar, the destination that they had their minds solely focused on, seemed like some sort of distant memory. She and Squall had the entire world against them. Every person they'd come to know and care about was now their enemy. And, Seifer had thrown himself in with them, ruining whatever life he'd come to create for himself. But, maybe he was saving himself, too? Maybe he wanted to get away from a life he was miserable in. He hadn't been happy in a long time, and it all didn't have to do with Squall. He'd felt trapped into becoming an assassin and working for the Solar System. Trapped by his own self-esteem issues, or trapped by whatever horrible emotional baggage Ultimecia left him with. And, this was a way to connect with his fake life as a naturalist, a life he seemed to like better than his real one. When he told them about the landscape and about animals and monsters in the area, there had been a confidence and ease about him that Quistis hadn't seen in a really long time. And, now he was also something he'd strived for, but hadn't been able to reach - a hero. Quistis and Squall would be dead if it weren't for Seifer, they knew that. Or, they would have just given up hope since they both were rather defeatist. But, Seifer had saved them, and he wouldn't let them give up. Ever.

"Quisty?" Squall asked quietly, touching her shoulder. She looked somewhat upset, and there were a couple of tears strolling down her cheek.

"Hmm?" She looked over at him dreamily, but the look in her eyes wasn't sad.

Squall looked into her eyes, and had a moment of perfect clarity and understanding. He'd only ever shared that kind of moment with Seifer, so it was jolting to actually feel it with someone else. That she felt the same things about Seifer that he did, but not with the same sexual context. And, that they really did feel all alone. Apart from the lack of food, water and shelter, Squall almost didn't want to go back to the real world. Staying with the two of them would have suited him just fine.

Seifer, standing at the mouth of the cave under the umbrella of Diablos's wings, didn't notice how intent and lovingly Squall and Quistis were looking at him. He had his own intent staring to do. But, it was at the large slate blue dragon perched on a rock, looking up at the sky thoughtfully.

"Bahamut?"

The dragon turned his head, and regarded his master serenely. "You wish to know about what happened with that ruby cow earlier this week, and about our connection," he answered knowingly.

Squall and Quistis were drawn out of their reverie, and came to stand beside Seifer. Quistis looked at Bahamut with all the studiousness of a Garden Instructor. Squall looked at Seifer instead, and saw eagerness to maybe find out something about his early and unknown life, and maybe even apprehension, tightening his jaw. He reached out and touched Seifer's hand. The other man didn't look over, but his fingers did twine with Squall's, and squeezed his hand tight.

"It's because of your mother. I see you know nothing of her."

"I don't even know what she looked like, or what her name was. Matron didn't know, either."

"She looked very much like you in the face. She was also very tall, like you. And, you have her eyes. Completely identical. You have your father's hair, nose and paler skin tone, though."

"You knew Seifer's parents?" Quistis asked, intrigued. She noticed that Shiva and Diablos were also looking over, just as interested.

"_Looked_, as in past tense?" Seifer asked stiffly. He squeezed Squall's hand just a little tighter.

"Yes. I lost the feel of her when she was taken prisoner by Azabaashe. Adel wasn't known to leave prisoners alive."

"Azabaashe..." Squall murmured. "Adel's Knight..."

"Yes, her fifth and final Knight. She had a penchant for killing them off when she got too paranoid that they would overthrow her."

"Wh... why did Adel want her?"

"Because of her powers. Your mother was known as La Draconia, the Queen of the Dragoon tribe of Trabia. You're one of the last. The Dragoons were very small in numbers, so only a few children are left of the bloodline, and even fewer after Adel had them hunted down."

"I've never heard of such a tribe," Seifer murmured. He lowered himself onto a boulder, his legs feeling like jelly. But, he still kept Squall's hand tight in his own.

"Few have. They were killed off, like many other small tribes of people with extraordinary gifts that Adel craved, and even feared. I believe your Blue Magic is from one such tribe," Bahamut noted, eyes sliding to Quistis. "The dragoons didn't flaunt their powers. I say that Dinara was a Queen, but it was in title only. She was looked up to by the villagers in their only remaining settlement as a 'mayor' of sorts. But, they were a quiet people who lived off the land and wanted to be left alone," Bahamut said with fondness. He actually seemed sad to be telling this story. Like he missed them.

"Dinara..." Seifer whispered. The first time he'd heard his mother's name.

"Yes. Dinara von Munster. Almasy was your father's surname."

"Adel would have wanted a Dragoon's power," Squall guessed. "She looked the way she did because of all the magical experiments she'd done on herself. Taking powers from other Sorceresses, from GF study, from powerful monsters. To be able to talk to and command dragons would have been irresistible to her."

"Yes, that's true."

"Oh, Squall!" Quistis exclaimed proudly. "You always were the best student in my history classes."

"She experimented on my parents?"

"Just your mother. Your father was not a Dragoon. He was a lunar scholar in Esthar. That's how he met your mother. They went to university together. Along with Azabaashe. And, I can only assume experiments were done on her. Once Dinara was taken to Esthar, I lost mental contact with her. It wasn't surprising, and not just because she was La Draconia. Azabaashe had made no secret that he was in love with her, and it enraged him that a 'Queen' would have chosen a scientist as her husband, instead of the royalty that Azabaashe saw himself as, particularly when he became Adel's Knight."

"And, you were her... GF?" Quistis asked, putting a finger to her chin.

"No. I recall when I met the two of you the first time," he said to Squall and Quistis, black eyes drilling into them. "How I told you I wasn't a GF. That's true, and yet it isn't. I'm a dragon spirit, and I came to your mother as a GF would come to you now, under her command. But, only Dragoons could call me. But, when Dinara was taken, so was I. The floating laboratory you found me in was created to harness my powers into the form of a Guardian Force. So, I suppose I became one through their science. And, then they used my trapped powers to dig up that monstrosity that was beneath the earth."

"Ultima Weapon," Squall explained when Seifer's brow furrowed in confusion.

"How did I get to Centra if I was born in Trabia?"

"Your father. Adel and Azabaashe attacked Wolf Haven, the village where you were born. Dinara knew that Adel would kill you, and your brother and sisters, if she found you, so she sent Petr away."

"I had siblings?!"

Bahamut nodded.

"Where are they?"

"Dead."

Seifer felt like he was going to throw up. To find out he had an entire family. Sisters, a brother, a mother and father, and that they were all dead and gone. Hunted and killed by Adel. A creature that he'd served. That he almost brought back from her hibernation. Had Ultimecia...?

"Yes," Bahamut said suddenly, reading Seifer's mind. "Ultimecia knew of your family's connection with Adel when she commanded you to try and free her. I'm sure she thought it quite funny."

Seifer's hand constricted painfully around Squall's.

"How did they die...?"

"I know not of your father. I didn't have a psychic connection with him. Your youngest sister was just an infant at the time, and died of exposure. Your mother was eight months pregnant at the time of her capture, so I lost connection with your brother when I lost her. Your two older sisters were captured by the Estharian soldiers that were hunting you. I know your father did what he could to save them, but one non-magical man not trained as a soldier against an entire army, especially Adel's army..." Bahamut's wings came up in his version of a shrug. "I'm sure he fought with his last breath to get you to safety. Centra was under Galbadian rule, and to bring you to Edea would have been the safest place for you from Adel."

Seifer had to start panting to gain enough air to breathe. His eyes stung, and his whole body was heavy with the effort to process all this information.

"How did Azabaashe die?" Quistis asked. "The history records have been rather vague about that."

"Because nothing is known. He vanished. Adel probably killed him," Bahamut replied, eyes not wavering from his master. Or, rather the only surviving remnant of his true master. "She wasn't shy about that."

Seifer looked up, looking at Bahamut through a thick veil of unshed tears. "What... what were they like?"

"Your father was very quiet, and rather shy. But, he was warm and kind with those close to him. He was also brilliant. These were all qualities your mother liked in him. She was..." Bahamut trailed off, seemingly overcome. His affection for this human was evident. "She was a hero, pure and simple. Dinara was strong willed, a brilliant soldier, and fiercely loyal to those she loved. She was enrolled in the Estharian army for a term, before she became pregnant with her first child. Anke. She was much admired in Esthar, especially by other women. Estharian women were very prim and proper and meant to live quiet lives of child-rearing, something encouraged by Adel so they could breed a possible successor. But, Dinara was none of these things. I think they lived vicariously through her. Dinara's name, I'm certain, was stripped from Estharian records by Adel, but if you bring up the name Dinara von Munster, or say La Draconia, they'll have stories." Bahamut gave Seifer an inscrutable look. "I see a lot of her in you."

Seifer slowly rose to his feet, Squall's hand dropping from his own. "How could you?" He asked bitterly, going out into the cold, snowy rain. "You just described a hero. Everything that I could want to be, but what am I? A coward and a murderer." He pulled a bow he'd made in the Chocobo forest in order to quietly catch food without the use of magic off his back, and started walking towards the woods.

"You're wrong," Bahamut called after, correcting him as he pulled a couple bent and beaten up arrows from a small quiver. They were saving each one, not daring leave them behind in case they needed them, or in case they were found by Garden pursuers. "There are people who see you as a hero. These two do, even if you don't see it in yourself."

Squall and Quistis both immediately blushed, but Seifer didn't turn around. He kept walking and disappeared into the small, sparse forest.

"Wow..." Quistis murmured after some long, silent minutes. "That was a pretty amazing story." She looked to the trees. "Kinda makes me jealous."

Squall crossed his arms and stared intently at the trees.

"How you have your father back, and Seifer's now just learned about where he came from. I still don't have that. I have no idea who my parents were. Are they still alive? Did they die in the war? Were they collateral damage, or is there a story like that behind my family lines? About how I can use Blue Magic?" She wondered in a rush of words. "And, I wonder why you're still standing here, and haven't gone after him."

"What?"

"Oh, please." Quistis rolled her eyes. "You're a dumbass." She stood and went out of the cave. "Here, give me your canteen." She pointed to Seifer's discarded pack. "His, too. I'm going to go see if I can find some water."

"Perhaps I can help," Shiva offered. "May I?" She asked of Squall. She couldn't leave her master alone unless he gave her permission to do so.

"It's fine," he huffed, making a beeline after Seifer through the thin forest.

It wasn't exactly hard to find him through the thin tree cover. He was sitting on a dead, fallen tree, his head in one hand, bend and bloodstained arrow dangling from the other, dead pheasant at his feet. Squall sat down beside him, not bothering to ask if he was okay. The answer was written in the tear tracks on his cheeks.

"Where's Quisty?"

"Went to find water."

"Alone?" Seifer asked. Even through his emotional turmoil, he sounded disapproving.

"Shiva's with her. You didn't know," Squall murmured after a beat, resting his chin on Seifer's shoulder. He was referring to helping Adel, even though she'd killed his family.

"I should have!" Seifer hissed. "I should have known better, for any reason. The woman he talked about would be so ashamed that I'm all that's left of her."

"She wouldn't!" Squall exclaimed heatedly. "You're more than you give yourself credit for. Than anyone gives you credit for. Bahamut may as well have been describing _you._"

"Come off it," the blonde scoffed angrily, standing up.

"I'm serious!" Squall stood too, not letting his boyfriend turn away from him. It came to the point where Squall had to get him against a tree trunk to get him to not look away. "Quisty says the kids at the Orphanage worship the ground you walk on because of the tonberrys. Raijin and Fujin would follow you to the ends of the earth. Odin has pledged himself to serving you. You're the only reason me and Quisty are still alive. You saved us! You're our hero," he added more quietly. "And, anyone who could survive Ultimecia the way you did... Your mother would be very proud of you. And, even if you hadn't done anything special, she still would have been proud of you because she's your mother."

Seifer bit his lip and looked down into Squall's face. How he was at his most beautiful when he was so naked and honest with his emotions. How truly he believed what he'd just said. "I always thought my parents just didn't want me."

Squall wrapped his arms tightly around Seifer's torso, and felt the other man slump in his arms under the weight of his emotions. Squall could feel his heart beating fast, even through the thickness of his parka.

"I wish I could have met her, just once," Seifer whispered into the side of Squall's neck, voice shaking.

Squall tilted his head so their cheeks were pressed flush together. "I know," he whispered back.

Seifer pulled away just enough to look into Squall's eyes, knowing that the other man meant those two words more than nearly anyone else could have. He knew _exactly_ how Seifer felt right now. He touched Squall's stubbly cheek. When coming into the trees to find something to eat, he'd thought he'd want to be alone to process all he'd just learned. But, he really, really didn't. In truth, hearing about a family that had only been an intangible idea to him made Seifer feel even more alone than he already did. It made him feel like there was this gaping hole inside him where a family should have been. When they'd just been a concept, no personalities or names, he didn't miss them. But, now he knew of this remarkable sounding woman, and he'd never get the chance to meet her. Ever.

Squall looked into Seifer's eyes, more familiar to him than sometimes even his own, and he felt a swoop in his stomach. The look in Seifer's absinthe eyes was one that Squall knew too well, and he wished that he'd never felt it, and that Seifer didn't have to go through the realization that you'd never meet this woman that so many people had wonderful stories about. Squall loved hearing Laguna's stories about Raine, but at the same time they hurt so fucking bad. Squall didn't want that pain for Seifer. He hugged Seifer tighter, resting his cheek against his collarbone.

Seifer craned his neck and nudged Squall's nose with his own, tilting his face upwards so Seifer could catch his mouth in a kiss. He felt so lonely right now, and just really wanted to feel like he was a part of someone else. He wanted to feel like there was still something good in his life right now. Or, maybe he just wanted to kiss Squall just to kiss him. Because it felt good, because Squall was his, and because Seifer loved him. Squall's mouth opened against his, and was warm and balmy compared to the cold damp of the environment that was seeping into their bones.

Squall could feel the urgency in Seifer's mouth, and in the way his hands were stroking up and down Squall's chest, trying to work their way past the layers of thick clothing encasing his body. It would have been perfectly understandable for Seifer to have an ulterior motive for this escalating sexual contact, but Squall knew that he didn't. It wasn't about just finding out about a mother he'd never known. It wasn't about them fighting earlier and making up for it. It wasn't about being isolated in this harsh location, cut away from the rest of the world. It was just because Seifer wanted him, and knowing that Squall wanted him just as much. Maybe even more. Squall was pushed up against a tree as Seifer tore off his gloves and pushed bare fingers up under Squall's coat and sweater, tongue brooking deeper passage into his mouth.

There was haste in their touches as Squall broke the kiss long enough to turn himself around. With his back pressed flush to Seifer's chest, hips slowly grinding back against the taller man's pelvis, Squall craned his neck so they could continue kissing. They couldn't leave Quistis alone for too long, not even for this. Not even to have sex with Seifer for the first time as lovers. Real and actual lovers. No cheating and lying and sneaking around. No intoxication. This would actually be the first time Squall would have sex with Seifer while he was sober. And, he wanted it so fucking bad. To have Seifer and not have any part of it be shared with booze or cocaine.

It was too cold to completely undress, so Seifer only undid their pants as much as he needed to, hand still worming its way up underneath Squall's shirt. Because they hadn't been able to eat properly, Squall's ribs were getting more pronounced. He found one of Squall's nipples, and started stroking it with his thumb, grinning into the dark-haired man's mouth when Squall made a small, masculine noise of pleasure that Seifer found totally irresistible. He found everything about Squall irresistible. Even, and especially, the flawed parts of him. It's something that he'd actually missed in Ivan (or Odin). A lack of flaws and human weakness. He loved those frailties in Squall in a way he could never accept or love his own flaws.

Squall was pressed against the nearest, stunted tree. The bark was cold and wet against his front - the complete opposite of the warmth radiating from Seifer against his back. He used the tree, and Seifer's body, for support when one of the other man's fingers slipped inside him. He knew he wouldn't have been able to stand if it weren't for them. He had to bite his lip hard to prevent a loud moan. Though they were in a magic shield area, they were far from out of danger, and Garden operatives were always on the watch. He couldn't risk being caught just for loud sex. Seifer's breath was so warm against the side of his cold, wet neck, and his gloved fingers clawed into the tree bark when a second finger pressed into him, the cold tips finding his prostate and stroking. Squall's legs nearly gave out, and he reached back and gripped Seifer's shoulders so he wouldn't fall over.

Seifer unceremoniously spit into his palm and coated his erection. It was the only lubricant they had. He supposed they were lucky Squall was a tad masochistic like that. The saliva was making his erection like an icicle, so he really really wanted it inside Squall's body and all that delicious tight heat. He coated himself with another layer of spit, then slowly started to push into the other man's body. He could hear Squall holding back noise, and pressed in deeper and harder because he knew they were strangled noises of pleasure, not pain. He was having a hard time keeping back his own involuntary noises of lust. How could he not want to scream, to shout and moan as loud as his body was able?

Seifer's thrusts into him started out slowly and gently. Squall knew that the other man was concerned about hurting him because of the lack of lubricant. But, his lust got the best of him, and his hips started working harder and faster, Seifer's erection like a piston within him. Rubbing the inner walls of his rectum, hitting his prostate over and over again, pleasure sparking through his whole body. Their bodies as one, nothing between them. And, that's when Squall realized that there really was nothing between them. Seifer wasn't wearing a condom. It was skin against skin, Seifer's naked cock within his body. The realization, the idea of that much intimacy made Squall's whole body feel like he was laying in a tropical ray of sunlight. To him, it was warm and balmy and heavenly, not this cold, dreary dank that was getting colder by the minute. Knowing that Seifer would be coming right into his body instead of into some piece of latex brought Squall closer and closer to orgasm. He tried not to think that he'd already experienced bare backing with another man. A guy he didn't even remember. No name, no face, no intercourse. Just a case of VD, and a lot of shame and humiliation. Nothing like this. How could he even be thinking about that now?! At a time like this, when Seifer's hand was around his own erection, when Seifer's other arm was holding him tight and close, when their panting and their heartbeats were in perfect unison. When he was in the arms of the person he loved more than anyone else, and even though he was falsely accused of murder by those once claiming to be friends, he'd never felt more whole, complete and happy.

As usual, Seifer's thoughts were on the same wavelength as Squall's. Of course he'd realized he wasn't wearing a condom. How could he not with all that tight heat enveloping him in a way he'd never experienced before? The thought didn't scare him. It's not like he wanted a harem of other men. He only wanted this man. He'd only _ever_ wanted this man. The arm that was around Squall's waist moved up so it was now around his shoulders. He wanted to touch that perfect, sensual mouth - where all those wonderfully masculine, sexual noises were dripping from. He was now thrusting so hard into Squall that the smaller man's feet were nearly being lifted off the ground. Squall started sucking on his fingers, biting down whenever a loud moan or grunt tried to escape him. When Seifer felt the constriction of Squall's rectal muscles around him, shuddering with the beginnings of orgasm, Seifer's own body reacted with a thunderous wave of euphoria that rocked his whole frame. He buried his face in the nape of Squall's neck, and had to bite down on his damp, cold skin to keep a scream in check. He was biting down hard enough that he tasted the hot, metallic tang of blood.

Squall was holding onto the tree trunk tightly, because it was the only thing keeping him from sliding to the icy, rocky ground. He reluctantly relinquished Seifer's fingers from his mouth when it fell to around his shoulders, both men breathing heavily in time with each other. Seifer looked at the bite mark he'd left on Squall's snowy flesh, little red wells of blood slowly showing up in the shape of his front teeth. He licked the blood, and kissed away the sting. Squall smiled and traded his grip on the tree for a backwards reach for Seifer, holding the taller man tight against his back. For just a few moments they stayed like this, only a brief enjoyment of the afterglow.

When they pulled apart to get dressed was when Squall felt colder. Because he wasn't in Seifer's arms anymore. Because he had to come back down to earth and face horrible reality. He could feel a trickle of semen in his inner thigh, and wiped it away before zipping up his pants. His own semen was now freezing against the stunted tree. He turned around to see Seifer zipping up his coat and putting his mittens back on. Squall ran his fingers across the back of his neck to see if there was more blood.

"Sorry," Seifer apologized.

"Don't be," Squall answered with a grin. "Not even bleeding anymore." He then put on his own gloves, saying "wait" when Seifer turned away. He caught the taller man's wrist in a tight grip, and pulled him forward for a bone-crushing hug. He pressed his cheek to the hollow of Seifer's throat, and hoped that his arms could convey what his mouth had such trouble saying. Why, why, _why_ couldn't he say 'I love you' when he felt it so strongly?! What was he afraid of? The desire to say it and the violence of how strongly he felt it brought tears to his eyes, but still he was unable. He hated himself for it.

Seifer put his mittened hand under Squall's chin, and tilted his head up so their eyes could meet. Even Squall had never seen that kind of serene smile on Seifer's lips before. The beauty of it struck him dumb.

Seifer stroked Squall's hair and cheek, bringing his forehead down so they were touching, scars a perfect match. "I love you too," he whispered.

Squall was sure there was also a look on his face that nobody, ever, would have seen before. Not even Seifer. It was so typically Seifer, the way he'd just said 'I know you love me, even though you can't say it'. So intuitive, and utterly and painfully romantic. Squall kissed Seifer fiercely, not caring that the slushy precipitation had now fully turned to a cold and miserable rain. "I love you," he uttered between kisses. "I love you," Squall repeated, over and over against Seifer's mouth. Now that it had _finally_ fallen from him, he couldn't seem to stop saying it.

"Finally, eh?" He joked. He'd known for a while that Squall was in love with him, even when he didn't want to know it because Squall had been so fucked from his addictions. But, it still made him light-headed to finally hear it. Squall's arms wrapped tighter around his waist, and their kisses turned into a long, close hug. They knew they should get back to Quistis, but Shiva was with her, and they just wanted a few more minutes before their reality came crashing back down on their shoulders. Just a few more minutes...

Quistis didn't need evidence to be certain that Squall and Seifer had slipped away to have sex while she collected fresh water, but she got evidence in the most unexpected of ways. Shiva, essentially being frozen water made in the form of a woman, could detect water, and found a small pool of clean rainwater. As Quistis filled the canteens, and watched a few small birds and rodents visit the watering hole to drink, she noticed a change in Squall's GF's countenance. She got this dreamy, faraway look in her eyes, and almost looked like she was... sweating a little. Like the way beads of water would appear on a bottle of soda or beer.

"You okay?" Quistis asked as they started to head back to the cave, Shiva's feet floating just above the ground, leaving a slick trail of black ice behind her.

Shiva let out a hitched breath, the beads of water vanishing back into her glossy body. She appeared back to normal, but the dreamy look still hung on her face. Quistis's teacher's mind worked, and it dawned on her in a slow, amazed smile as they came back to camp. Since Shiva was connected psychically to Squall, she would feel the strongest of his emotions. Was this how GF reacted if junctioned when their masters had an orgasm? Did Shiva just have one, too?! The thought made her giggle.

"Hush," Shiva chided gently, knowing exactly what her master's dearest friend was thinking.

"Amazing. Hey, guys!" She called to her companions when she saw them coming back as well. Seifer had a dead pheasant in his hand, his other linked with Squall's. "Did you know that GF have orgasms when their masters do?"

Shiva stiffened and looked both haughty and embarrassed. But, it was nothing compared to how red Squall's face got. He immediately looked down at his boots.

"Oh, please!" She exclaimed cheerfully. "You think I didn't know what was going to happen?" She asked with a roll of her eyes. "Here." She held up their canteens, then put them among their packs once more. "Found some water. Looks like you found some food too. Among other things"

"Shut up," Squall said tensely, though he did give Seifer a sidelong look that brought colour to his cheeks again for completely different reasons.

"You shouldn't be embarrassed, Squall. Not with me."

Squall looked up at her, and gave her a lopsided grin, knowing she was right. This was Quisty. His best friend. He didn't need to be shy with her. Especially not with what they were currently going through.

Quistis started the fire magically, then looked up to where Diablos was perched over the cave's mouth. Shiva floated up so she could sit beside him. "Hey, Diablos? So... do you feel it when I have sex, too?"

Diablos craned his head to peer in the cave at his mistress. "You would actually have to have sexual relations for me to react one way or another."

"Pffffttt!" Seifer stifled a laugh, but it came out anyway. "Oh man!" It mingled with the rare and musical sound of Squall's laughter.

"I think he just dissed you."

Quistis made her face to be mock-outrage, though she couldn't keep the twinkle of laughter out of her eyes. "You should never say 'dissed', Squall. You sound like an old man trying to be cool."

This made Seifer laugh even harder. It immediately died when his connection with Bahamut made him feel what caused the dragon's head to suddenly rear up from its relaxed position, resting on his front paws. Bahamut sniffed the air, and looked towards the mountain path. Shiva floated down from her perch, sensing it too. Diablos stayed where he was, but lowered his wings to shield the cave mouth and hide the humans from view.

"It's not human..." Diablos's voice trailed off, but his wings stayed in their protective position. "Faerie..." The demon murmured. The wings muffled noise, but the three of them heard a distant, muffled, yet very distinct peeping chirp.

"A moogle..." Seifer trailed off.

"It's only one being," Bahamut's voice echoed, and the wings slowly raised, but Quistis still felt the tenseness in her connection with the demon.

The peeping grew louder, and they heard a voice say "hello, kupo! Did the three humans come this way?"

The three of them crawled to the cave mouth, and saw a moogle hovering mid-air in front of Shiva, speaking to her in the unflappable cheery nature that moogles had.

"It's Serino..." Squall trailed off. How would he ever forget the name of the first moogle he'd ever touched?

"Kupo!" Serino waved and floated towards them. Diablos started to lower his wings and glared at the little furry creature, but Quistis waved her hand, and he obeyed.

"What are you doing here?" Seifer asked in wonder.

"Esthar sounds fun! I want to come along, kupo!"

"Wh... what? Why?" Squall asked.

"I must leave my family to see the world," Serino answered, coming further into the cave and shaking himself like a dog or cat would. His fur got very puffy and made him look twice his normal size. "To find more moogles, kupo. I would have left a couple years from now, but this way I won't get lost, and won't have to travel alone, kupo!"

"But..." Quistis trailed off. "It's very dangerous."

"I'm not afraid of danger, kupo! We survive most heartily if we stay away from humans."

"But we're humans," Seifer pointed out.

"Bad humans," corrected Serino, landing on a rock. His wings were very tired from following the humans at top flight speed. He pulled a walnut from his pouch and hit it against the rock to break it open. "You're not bad humans," he said, munching on his snack. The gesture was so adorable that the urge to cuddle him was nearly overwhelming to the humans.

"We're being chased by bad humans," Quistis said. "That's why we're out here. We're in hiding."

"Travelling is always dangerous," Serino said gravely. The seriousness of his voice flew in the face of his cutesy appearance. "But, I am of breeding age soon. It must be done." His paws lowered from his mouth. "You... don't wish me to travel with you?"

"It's not that!" Quistis exclaimed. "We're just... surprised, is all."

"I'm not as delicate as I look," Serino pointed out, again sounding very sagely and serious. "I can take care of myself. Your monsters sensed it." He gave a sly look to Diablos.

"Monsters?!" Diablos exclaimed angrily, snaking his body so his torso was partly in the cave. His eyes burned into the moogle. "What did you call me, puffball?"

Serino puffed himself up and stared back, unafraid. The look in his button-black eyes was one of hostility, surprising on a moogle's face.

"Hey, hey!" Quistis exclaimed, shaking her head at the demon. He grumped and went back to sitting straight-backed above the cave mouth.

"We'd love the company," Squall said, meaning it.

Serino smiled widely and went back to eating his nut. After eating, he was obviously tired from trying to catch up to the humans, so he curled up into a small, furry white ball and went to sleep, peeping and saying "goodnight, kupo."

"It would be nice if tomorrow, we found a bathtub..." Quistis murmured. She then kissed both Seifer and Squall goodnight, a habit they'd gotten into just after the Chocobo forest that seemed completely natural now, before laying on the ground. She was also very tired, and knowing the GF were watching over them helped to put her into a deep sleep. Squall also laid down, reaching out so he could hold Seifer's hand. Quistis curled up against his back and wrapped her arms around his waist. They took to sleeping in a huddle now for warmth and comfort, like kittens or puppies. Seifer joined them, but Squall felt the tenseness in his body. He kissed underneath Seifer's earlobe and whispered "I love you" again. He felt Seifer smile and heard him say "I love you too", but then he became distracted again. The last thing that Squall saw before he fell asleep was Seifer looking out the mouth of the cave, staring at Bahamut with a distant, sad look on his face.

---

Rinoa was walking around Garden like a ghost. She knew she must have looked somewhat ghastly or scary to the others. She was drawn and pale with purple circles under her eyes, which seemed to be constantly red-rimmed. Her magic was lighting her skin, making her eyes look like black holes against the snow white canvas of her face. She was also losing weight from depression, which only added to the wraithly aspect of her. The surface wound Squall had left her with was nearly healed, a stark white scar against her chest and shoulder. But, the deeper wounds weren't so quick to close.

Her anger about the way she and Squall ended had seeped out of her, and now she was only numb. She didn't know what to feel, and felt like she was on the moon. Conversations around her were just white noise. And, she found that her biggest regret had shifted from the subject of her former boyfriend to that of her former friend. And, how much she missed Quistis and that feeling like she actually had a sister. Selphie was a wonderful friend, but somehow it just wasn't the same. She didn't feel that same soul connection.

There were pinpricks in Rinoa's fog at times. And, those times were when she saw Xu walking the halls. How everyone took her word for it that Squall, Quistis and Seifer were dangerous murderers, that they needed to be put down. It had become common fact that their former friends and comrades were now deadly enemies. Each day they were fugitives just added to the tension and hatred. The air in Garden was a festering wound because of it. Everyone believed it. Except for Irvine. Whenever Rinoa saw him, she would see the way he would look at Xu. Nobody else seemed to notice, but Rinoa saw it in his eyes. That coldness, the cogs of his brain working underneath the veil of false understanding.

And, Rinoa subconsciously found herself prowling the administration halls like a ghost, purposely looking for Xu. She wanted those moments of clarity, where Xu's voice didn't sound like white noise, but like she was speaking through a window, far away yet audible. And, today the clarity came back when she saw Xu coming towards her, nose buried in some papers, speaking to Luchia without even looking at her.

"Xu?" Rinoa called meekly. Her voice had become scratchy, like wind and shadows. It was the first thing she'd said in days.

Xu looked up, as surprised that Rinoa spoke as the Sorceress was herself. "Rinoa?!" She asked, mouth splitting into a bemused smile. "Yes?"

"Have you heard anything? About Quistis?"

"Not yet." The smile vanished. "Don't worry, Rinoa. We'll find Squall and he'll be brought to justice for what he did to you. For what they did to the Headmaster." Xu put a friendly hand on Rinoa's shoulder, and it was like she'd broken the surface of water after being under. Everything came into focus, centralized around the point on her shoulder where Xu's bare hand touched her own exposed skin not covered by the white tank dress she wore.

Xu gave Rinoa a thin smile, the kind you give a mentally slow child or a senile senior citizen. Pitiable, condescending. Xu must have thought Rinoa had lost her mental capacities. Luchia's stony expression didn't change one bit. They continued on, all business-like, leaving Rinoa standing there with her lips parted. True, she did look simple, feeble. A moron. But, inside... she'd never felt more in touch.

__

Alex?

Yes, Rinoa. You're right.

She asked of her Guardian Force. Because she was a Sorceress, she could keep Alexander in constant junction, and it made them extremely close, like the great judgement machine was a part of her own soul. Alexander's voice was the sexless, calm and emotionless drone of a robot, but it was the most comforting voice in the world to Rinoa right now.

Rinoa put a hand to her lips, magic getting brighter under her skin from the distress. But, it actually made her look more human and brought colour to her face. She looked around the hallway as if she'd never seen it before. She looked at the doors around her, and started slowly walking down the hall, peering at them, her heart racing.

__

I'm such a fool,

she chided herself hatefully, taking care to walk slowly, and appear like she was still in her ghostly fog. She flung out some of Alexander's magic into the room she desired, not wanting to draw attention to who she was looking for. But, it was empty. Alexander found their signature and pointed his mistress in the proper direction. She followed the feeling to the quad, where she found him. Irvine was standing near the fountain, watching some female cadets who were standing across the way, giggling and whispering to each other. He cocked his head, not trying to hide he was staring, when one bent over to pick up a book she'd dropped.

"You're not even trying to hide that you're a cad," Rinoa murmured, voice still raspy.

Irvine looked over, surprised that she was talking to him. She hadn't really talked to anyone since Winhill.

She put a hand on his arm, a gesture that would have appeared coquettish to anyone walking past. "Pretend you're flirting with me."

"I don't gotta pretend, sweetheart." He leaned in, invading her personal space, but his eyes were all seriousness. Rinoa asking him to flirt meant that something was wrong.

"She's lying," Rinoa whispered when Irvine leaned in and caught a lock of her hair between his fingers, slyly tugging and stroking it.

"I know," Irvine said quietly, knowing exactly whom Rinoa meant.

"So... what...?"

"Shhh," he cooed, his fingers moving from her hair and stroking her sunken cheek. "If Xu finds out you're questioning her, what do you think will happen?"

"She would... ruin me. Just... oh, Hyne. Just like she ruined Quisty and Squall." Her lips trembled.

"Or, she'd kill you."

"No..."

He didn't reply, eyes veiled.

__

Selphie

, Alexander's voice warned in Rinoa's ear. "Selphie..." She said to Irvine.

"OhmygodIrvine!" Selphie exclaimed in a rush. Rinoa looked over her shoulder and saw the small brunette staring at them with disapproval dripping all over her, her fists on her hips. "What do you think you're doing?!"

"What?" He asked, so completely innocently that it made Rinoa chuckle. The first time in a long time. Even before she and Squall broke up. It made her realize that she hadn't been happy in quite a while.

"Rinoa... oh wow, you laughed!" Selphie exclaimed, eyes shining. "It's nice to see! Especially because you look so pretty when you do it."

"Thanks," Rinoa said quietly. Irvine's finger was still stroking her cheek.

"Not much to smile over right about now though, right?" Selphie shook her head, and crossed her arms across the chest of her custom made Doomtrain t-shirt, like she was cold. "With what's been going on."

"Yes..." Rinoa answered sadly, starting to realize that she and Selphie meant that agreement from two completely different sides.

"You can stop touching her face now, Irvine." There was a note of jealousy in Selphie's voice that would never completely go away, no matter how long she and Irvine were broken up for.

"All right." His hand slid down from Rinoa's cheek, making a trail down the side of her body, dangerously close to her breast, then traced the curve of her waist, coming to rest just over the swell of her behind.

"Irvine!!"

Irvine winked at Rinoa in a way that seemed flirty, but had deeper context that she understood clearly. She watched as Selphie stormed after his long strides, voice trilling behind him. "Irvine! What do you think you're doing? You're just _trying_ to make me jealous, aren't you? Aren't you?! And, you know that Rinoa's in a tough situation right now. You're just taking advantage of her, and..."

Rinoa sighed as her voice disappeared. Selphie was right. She really was in a difficult situation, but now she was only just realizing what that actually meant...

---

"Kupppoooo..." Serino mused, hovering mid-air and examining a pile of old, eroded boulders. They had descended out of the Almaj, and were at the Shalmal Pass that connected the Talle and the Almaj mountains that made up Centra's southern spine. "There's definitely something behind here, kupo." His wings were beating rapidly to keep himself hovering. He touched the rocks, and a few pebbles dislodged, falling down to the ocean. The waves crashed against the rock, sometimes high enough that the spray hit Serino, who would sputter and shake his fur in a way that made Squall, Quistis and Seifer have to suppress giggles and smiles.

"Odin did say there were old, buried mines around here," Seifer remembered. The Talle range loomed ahead of them, lower and more eroded than the newer Almaj peaks. There were less places to hide there, but it's not like Seifer wanted to descend into some unknown caverns. Caves and old mines were so dangerous. Poisonous underground gases, bad footing and mostly complete darkness, monsters and animals forgotten by civilization, breeding and mutating for years "He must have thought we should use them..."

Squall had to bite back a '...whatever', like he usually did whenever Seifer mentioned Odin.

Quistis noticed Seifer's reserve. "Seifer, I really think we should." She watched as Serino flew closer to the rocks, sniffing at them. He started doing some magic that Quistis didn't understand. Faerie magic, since Serino pointed out that's what moogles were. "Garden ships are everywhere." Even now, they could see the small, dark dots of Garden boats in the water, searching and waiting. They felt very exposed here, hidden only by the jagged boulders they were hiding behind, and the spray of the high waves.

"I don't smell any gases, kupo. And, my spells didn't pick up anything, but that's only the entrance. Mog knows what's further in. But, my magic can't move these rocks."

"There's no footing for us to pull them out by hand," Squall observed. It was a sheer drop down to the unfriendly ocean, and all the jagged rocks down there, just waiting to break all their bones.

"Well..." Quistis put a hand to her chin, mind working quickly. "We could summon a GF to go in and check."

"No fucking way," Seifer said quickly. "Those boats will pick up on that much magic."

"It would take them a few hours to get over here, and the only have that one aircraft. It's harder to pinpoint magic location from the air, and when you're in motion. The boats would have to actually pinpoint us, then sent the message. Diablos could fly through the mine to see if it was safe, and then put the rocks back in place. Once we're underground, they wouldn't be able to trace magic."

"But what about the signature left behind out here?" Squall asked.

"Kupopo?" Serino peeped, looking up at his humans quizzically. Water dripped from his pom-pom. "That's what you're worried about? I can't move these rocks, but I can mask his magical signatures, kupo!"

"You can?" Squall asked in wonder. His hand was rubbing up and down Seifer's back, and stiffened when they heard the distant sound of Garden's zeppelin circling.

"Of course, kupo. It's how we hide ourselves from the bad humans."

"Could you hide Diablos's magic, though?" Seifer asked. Quistis's demon was the logical choice. He could just turn into bats, and use sonar to quickly navigate through the cave. "It's a lot more powerful, and not faerie."

"Yes, it is." Serino shook his head and chuckled, a musical noise. "Demons are faeries, too. Just bad ones."

Quistis felt Diablos grumble inside her.

"All right," Seifer conceded. Serino flew up from the rocks and landed on Seifer's shoulder for a rest, his favourite place to sit. Seifer had the biggest shoulders of the three of them, but Serino also liked to talk to the tallest human about nature, animals and monsters. The human was quite knowledgeable, and Serino was fascinated about his connection with dragons.

"Ready?" Quistis asked of the moogle.

Serino was munching on a fig to regain some strength. He patted the top of Seifer's head distractedly. The three of them almost looked at Serino like he was their pet, but maybe Serino thought of the humans as _his_ pets. "Yes, kupo."

"One. Two. Three." Quistis called Diablos, and felt a warm magic flow over her as Diablos came out. He kept himself small so he couldn't be seen by the ships.

"Bad faerie my ass," the demon grumbled, but his magic did fall in perfect tune with the moogle's. After all, the little furball was right. Their magic was born from the same place. He started muttering under his breath in an old faerie language. It sounded like a spell to human ears, but he was really complaining about Serino, which the moogle understood perfectly and ignored. Diablos didn't need incantations to work magic, not after all these millennia of existence. Diablos carefully moved the rocks because an explosion would draw attention. Once the rubble was gone, it left a black hole in the rock face.

"You going to be okay?" Quistis asked of her GF.

The demon looked up at her and gave her a burning glare before he turned to bats and streamed inside.

Seifer chuckled. "I think he just said 'bitch, please'."

"Shut up, you."

They waited tensely for Diablos to come back, eyes never leaving the small ships on the water. Instinctively, Quistis reached out and took Squall's right hand, squeezing tight. He squeezed back, his other hand firmly pressed against the small of Seifer's back. He could feel the reassurance of Seifer's hand resting on his thigh, and Squall briefly leaned into him, eyes never leaving the boats. They could again hear the sound of the Garden airship in the distance, getting louder. All three tensed, Serino's small peeps and chants never wavering.

But, Serino's chants couldn't protect against gravity. The rocks that Diablos had moved were staying put, but the surrounding rocks weren't stable, and all the motion and magic, or just maybe the fact that it would have happened anyway even if no humans were present, caused some to slip, falling into the ocean below and making a grand splash. More followed, until there was a small landslide, big and small rocks plunking into the water with loud, big splashes that the boats were sure to notice.

"Shit!" Seifer hissed, wrenching his hand from Squall's, reaching for Hyperion. Serino continued to chant, but his peeps and chirps were getting quicker and more nervous. Quistis already had her whip out, fingers itching to cast magic. She was also mentally urging Diablos to hurry. The sound of the zeppelin was getting louder over the racket the landslide was making. But, they were certain all that noise wasn't as loud as their heartbeats and blood rushing in their ears.

"C'mon Diablos..." She urged.

"Come on!" Seifer exclaimed, grabbing Squall's wrist. "We don't have any more time." He pulled Squall towards the mouth of the old mines. Serino flew in first, Seifer jumping quickly after him. "Come on!" He shouted to the other two.

"Hurry, Quisty..." Squall gave her a look before jumping in after his lover. Quistis had to remain behind so Diablos could find his way back to the entrance in order to move the rocks again. The tiny dots on the water were starting to get bigger, and now quite resembled ships. The zeppelin's engine was deafening in her ears. She could feel Diablos getting closer

"Quisty!" She heard Squall's voice urge desperately from within the cavern. Wind from the airship was picking up Quistis's hair, and Squall's pleas were being drowned out.

"Not yet," she ground out.

"Quisty!" He called again. "Hurry!"

"Not yet!" She shouted back. Diablos was so close closer, closer. Then, bats came flying out of the mouth, and Quistis tumbled into the cave with them rolling around her limbs. The rocks immediately shifted back into place, and both Serino and Diablos's voices chimed together to use faerie glamour to mask the entrance. When everything was sealed, all the noise from outside was blocked completely, leaving them in a heavy silence etched only with panting.

The gloom was lit by a few dim light sources - Seifer holding a fire spell in his hand, Shiva's skin glowing cold and blue, and Serino's pom-pom like a little hanging lantern. Diablos's body slowly came back together, and he helped right his mistress, who'd landed in a heap on the unforgiving stone ground.

"You're supposed to be the master of gravity!" Squall spat out angrily, pointing an accusing finger at the demon. "They could have caught us!"

Diablos's wings were slumped, but he disregarded Squall's angry words. "Forgive me," he murmured to Quistis. "I failed you."

"You could have gotten us killed!" Squall shouted, lunging for Diablos. Quistis threw herself between them, arms splayed out to protect her Summon.

"Stop." She said it so firmly and tensely, glaring down her best friend. Squall cursed under his breath and backed up, punching the stone walls of the mine instead. She turned back to Diablos, anger gone. "You don't need forgiveness," she murmured, touching one of the demon's scaly hands. When a GF and a human had such a high compatibility, there was great loyalty and friendship. It was a relationship that was hard to describe. It was parasitic, and yet it was like the GF was a part of their master's soul. "We asked a lot of you."

"What about the caves?" Seifer asked of the demon, holding his palm high so he could examine their situation. Bahamut became a pocket-sized dragon and flew high above their heads to aid Seifer's eyes. "What about the air supply?" Here there was oxygen, though it was hot and stale.

"There is air, but not a tremendous amount. Some flows in from various crevices where the mines are close to the surface."

"Squall, relax," Seifer chided at the other man, who was silently fuming and holding the hilt of Lionheart so tightly the creak of his leather gloves could be heard. "Toxic gases?"

"Some sulphides that can mostly be avoided. The mines snake into several paths with many exits on the other side of the mountains, emptying into the desert."

"Garden will know we're in here," Quistis muttered. "But, if there are a lot of openings, it will divide their forces..."

"There are a few hidden exits," Diablos noted, staying close to Quistis, wings still slumped with shame. "A couple exit into well-concealed mountain trails in the foothills. It would be a good hiding place where you could regroup, and survey where your enemies are."

"I do sense fresh water," Shiva noted. "And... life."

"Yes. There are creatures living down here," Diablos stated. "Strange ones."

"The glamour will keep them from finding the proper opening to the mine," Serino said hopefully. "They won't know how to get in, kupo." The light from his pom-pom made his white fur glow.

"All right then. GF out, I think." He said it so simply, like they were taking an afternoon stroll. But, Squall could see the stiffness in his shoulders, and when he looked over his shoulder and saw Squall looking at him, his smirk was tight at the edges. He was nervous.

Serino came to rest on Seifer's shoulder, magic depleting his energy. Shiva and Diablos took the head of the group, the demon leading them single-file down a declining path. Seifer walked next, holding fire in one hand, Hyperion in the other. Squall walked behind him, both hands holding Lionheart, still occasionally glaring at the dim shape of Diablos's wings. His body seemed to fade into the darkness around them, only the red visible and looking quite hellish. Quistis called up some fire in both hands, the flames licking around her arms, Bahamut's wings beating wind against her back.

"Maybe we'll see some tonberrys down here," Quistis said to Seifer, trying to break some of the nervous tension.

"I hope so," Seifer replied as he looked over his shoulder at her, grinning. Despite his nerves, the idea of a new race of tonberrys excited him greatly.

"They'd probably be mutants," Squall muttered.

"Tonberrys, kupo?" Serino looked at Seifer. His aura glimmered with excitement at the mention. "You like them?"

"You sound surprised."

"Most humans are afraid of them, though I don't know why, kupo."

"You've met tonberrys?" Seifer asked, eyebrows raising.

"Of course. Lots of times." Serino was surprised by Seifer's surprise. "Moogles and tonberrys have a long history of trading together."

"You do?" Seifer's pace had slowed to a crawl in his excitement. "But... I never saw any moogles when I studied them in the Centra ruins."

"Sometimes they travel to us, kupo. Or, maybe you were just there at the wrong time of year. We don't go during breeding season. And, we don't travel much to the Centra ruins. The Forbiddens..." Serino shuddered. "Those tonberrys go to neutral ground to trade goods."

"What kind of goods?" Quistis asked, also interested.

"Fruits, mostly. They live in caves and dark places where fruit doesn't really grow all that well. And, we get things like roots and mushrooms in return. Handicrafts, too. They make sturdy tools, and they like our talismans and flower wreaths."

"How do you communicate?" Seifer asked eagerly, wishing he had a tape recorder to permanently capture Serino's lyrical voice.

"They talk to us telepathically, kupo."

"Amazing..."

Squall narrowed his eyes in the gloom so he could see Seifer's profile better as the tall blonde spoke to the moogle on his shoulder. The way his face lit up at the mention of tonberrys, and his genuine interest in their trade habits and other equally mundane issues. Now, he was asking about what kinds of flowers tonberrys liked in potpourri. How genuinely happy he seemed learned about them, how his lips curled up in a big smile as Serino spoke to him. Squall didn't have all that much interest in tonberrys, aside from thinking they were kinda cute in an odd sort of way. He would have much rather picked a cat or moogle, but Seifer's choice between moogle and tonberry might not have been as easy. But, Squall _did_ find Seifer's enthusiasm for them interesting. His pure, light-hearted glee made him even more beautiful that it made Squall's heart ache. He felt so lucky that Seifer had taken him back, that he didn't deserve it after all the shit Squall'd put him through.

Seifer sensed the gaze burning into his upper back and profile, and looked over his shoulder to catch Squall's eyes. He looked so pensive and thoughtful and completely lost in his own head. Like really having the old Squall back. Most of Seifer's memories of the current evolution of their relationship were of the drunken, powder-snorting wreck that had cruelly taken Squall's place and just happened to look like the man that Seifer had always harboured a deep, and sometimes irrational and unwanted, love and respect for. But, now he really was Squall again. And, he really was _Seifer's_ Squall. They shared a long look. The very small tugging of the left corner of Squall's prefect mouth into a semblance of a smile may as well have been a sun for all the warmth it poured through Seifer's body, and how it seemed to brighten the dark mine into something more like a sunny Balamb beach.

Squall started lengthening his stride just enough so he could walk beside Seifer. At first, he was just content with walking, but he wanted more quickly, and relinquished one hand on Lionheart's hilt, looping his arm through the arm that Seifer held a fire spell in. They didn't say anything, but didn't need to. Quistis smiled behind them as she watched the exchange, but it was just a little tight around the edges. She wasn't alone when she was with Squall and Seifer, and wouldn't have traded them for anyone or anything, but it did make her think of what she'd lost because of Xu. Not just Nida. Garden. Respectability. Freedom. Rinoa... Seifer and Squall were her best, dearest friends - even 'friends' was such a horrible word to describe the close connection they now had - but, it wasn't the same as having a _girl_friend. A girlfriend who was like the sister she'd never had, or never known. All because of Xu. Well, maybe Rinoa's mistrust had something to do with it, too. But, Quistis still couldn't wrap her brain around _why_ Xu would do this. Seifer's explanations, given from personal experience with his jealousy of Squall, made sense, but they still didn't fill Quistis's void of confusion. She should have been furious, and she was, but her anger was far less than her hurt. The sheer pain of the betrayal.

Quistis had to snap herself back to reality when she nearly walked straight into a huge, rusted steel chain hanging from the ceiling. She held up her hands so the fire could illuminate it. It must have been used when this place was a working mine. "What do you think they were mining for here?" She wondered.

"Silver and amber," Seifer answered almost immediately, and with surety.

"How'd you know that so quickly?" She wondered, walking around the chain. It was far too heavy to push out of the way.

"I... you know, I ain't got a clue..." Seifer trailed off, mystified.

"Perhaps you know this because of your connection with Odin," Bahamut murmured from behind Quistis. She was still raising her fiery hands to inspect where the chain was attached to.

Squall got an ugly pinprick of sourness in his otherwise content mood.

"Yeah, maybe..." Seifer murmured. He then looked over at Squall, feeling his lover squeezing his bicep a little too roughly. He stifled a groan.

"What?" Squall asked defensively, angrily. Though, he didn't pull his arm away from Seifer's touch. "If you're allowed to be jealous of Rinoa, I can be jealous of him."

Quistis knew that Seifer was right, because in the higher part of the walls, there were a few flashes, like arteries going through the rocks. Veins of precious metal that hadn't been able to get taken out. It was probably the Lunar Cry that halted production here. She admired the way the light gently reflected off the silver, then gasped, the flames sputtering in her fists. Diablos immediately reared up, hissing.

"What?" Squall demanded, both hands once more holding his gunblade. Seifer charged the fire spell in his hand, so now the flames burned blue. The sound of him cocking Hyperion echoed in the cavern.

"Something's moving up there..." Quistis trailed off. She fired a small ball of pure white electricity upwards. It exploded like a firework, and shadows started scattering like spiders, crawling all over the walls and ceiling. The GF launched themselves upwards to protect their masters from whatever it was.

"I think you should run, kupo..."

"He's right," Diablos agreed. His body exploded into bats, and became like an awning over top of the humans. Hundreds and hundreds of wings beat around them, blocking out all sound.

"What's going on?" Quistis demanded of her demon.

__

Mutated Forbidden

, his voice answered in her mind over the screeching of the bats. _We need to get to a chokepoint, or you'll be overrun._

"Kukupopoooo..." Serino moaned. Forbidden, like wraiths and zombies, were undead creatures and their auras were like poison to a moogle. It was sapping his magical energy, and not letting him aid his new human friends. All Serino could do was hold onto Seifer's neck for dear life as they ran under the cloud cover of bats. The bevy led them down winding, smoothed out corridors of rock until they came to a thin vein, where the Forbidden would have to come single file from either direction.

Diablos's bats flew back together and congealed into his true form, which stayed close to Quistis.

"They'll come from this way in greater numbers," Squall gestured to the path they'd just run with his weapon. "Seifer and I will take this side. Quisty, you take the other." They had no problem leaving one side completely up to her. Her accuracy with blue and junctioned magic was deadly, and she could snipe from a further distance. And, Squall knew Diablos would fight fiercely by her side. Not only to protect his mistress, but to make up for messing up earlier.

"Go with Quisty," Seifer told the moogle. "She'll be more stationary."

"Ku-kupo..." Serino chattered. His eyes were wide and afraid. He nervously patted the side of Seifer's neck, and then flew over to Quistis, burrowing into her rucksack so only his head was visible under the flap.

They could hear the echo of the mutated Forbidden coming closer. It sounded heinous, and sent chills down their spines. These creatures didn't move like the Forbidden in the Centra Ruins. They were insectile, and moved at great speed, and were able to climb the walls in ways that defied gravity. Quistis, Diablos and Shiva acted as snipers, using magic to fling the Forbidden off the ceilings.

Quistis couldn't help the screech that came from her mouth when one of the Forbidden came into the light. An animated skeleton that reeked of rot and must, empty skeletal sockets burning with hellish malevolence. They were like rotting half human, half spider... _things_, smelling so bad that Quistis had to fight back vomit. Pus and black, noxious blood splashed against the walls, and when some flecked onto Quistis's cheek, it stung like boiling water.

Seifer and Squall were also experiencing the poisonous feel of their blood. It didn't exactly burn, but it was uncomfortable on their skin, like a sunburn. Like something that shouldn't have existed in the real world. It wasn't long before their gunblades were coated in the dark blood, and they were ankle-deep in severed limbs and dead creatures. As they fought, they tried not to look into creature's faces. Forbidden's burning, blank eye sockets were disgusting, and it seemed all that much worse with these mutants, who had four lined up on their faces like a spider would. The stench from all the body parts piling up was starting to get unbearable.

Squall had to duck to avoid one mutant from decapitating him. He could hear the loud whoosh of Hyperion flying above his head to cut down the creature. He and Seifer had mostly fought against each other in their lives. Not only out of anger and some sense of rivalry, but because they were the only gunblade students at the time, and needed someone to spar against. But, fighting alongside him seemed just as natural. He arced Lionheart over his head as one of the Forbidden leapt towards him from the side wall. Stinking, stinging blood rained down on him. He had to slam his eyes shut when droplets sprayed in them. He gasped as his eyes burned, and then he felt a sharp, hot pain rip across his neck. He immediately felt his own blood pouring into his parka, feeling like his whole shoulder had suddenly been lit on fire.

Seifer's heart leapt in his throat when he saw one of the Forbidden leap out from its dismembered kin at their feet, missing a few legs but still able to move. Its claws sliced into Squall's neck, and in the limited light, Seifer could see the pale flesh of Squall's neck suddenly go black from the blood spray. "Squall!" He shouted as the other man let out a small, surprised gasp of pain before collapsing into a heap like a marionette with its strings cut. "Squall!" He slashed and sliced through anything that tried to get in between him and Squall's crumpled form. "Quisty, help!" He screamed over all the noise of the shrieking Forbidden mixed with the high pitched sound of magic. "SQUALL!"

"They won't fucking stop!" Quistis screamed back, drenched in sweat from all the magic she was casting. She didn't know how many more spells she had in her, and Diablos wasn't going to last much longer. He was acting as her shield, and had taken quite a beating so far. She could hear the fucking things within the walls, and some of them were starting to show small hairline fractures. More Forbidden were trying to bust through to get to them.

Squall was practically buried in dead, crunched Forbidden, and even more were coming. "Squall! Answer me, goddammit!" Seifer shouted angrily. He slipped on a pool of rancid Forbidden goop, and was slammed into by one of the things, which snapped at his face with broken, skeletal teeth. Its breath was horrid, and Seifer would have had to swallow back vomit if his mind wasn't only on Squall. He'd been hit in the neck. What if his jugular...? "SQUALL!" He bellowed, falling backwards into the littered corpses, bones crunching under his weight. He tried to lift his arm to slash at the thing on top of him with Hyperion, but it used one of its legs to stab into his forearm, pinning it down. The claw went right through into a corpse underneath them. The wound burned like hell, but Seifer didn't care.

Suddenly, the shaft was filled with icy air, cold like they'd just dived into a Trabian lake. Quistis flung her arms up to cover her face, expecting this to be some sort of massive magical attack, but the wind blew around her, bitingly cold but harmless. However, the Forbidden didn't seem to think so, and when the wind blasted into them, they started screaming so loudly and horribly that she had to clamp her hands over her ears. She'd never heard such a brutal noise in her entire life. Even the already fallen creatures were affected, their corpses turning into dust. "What the?" She looked to Diablos, but he didn't seem as surprised. He was looking beyond her, to the mouth of the shaft where they'd first come in.

Seifer coughed as he got a mouthful of ashes as the Forbidden on top of him turned to dust before his eyes. But, he immediately half-crawled, half-ran to Squall, whose face was parchment white. But, he was still alive, eyes still open. Squall had dug into the wound and was pinching his vein shut to keep the blood in his body. Seifer loved him for his quick thinking. It was the only thing that'd saved his life.

"Seifer..." Squall ground out, spitting up some blood.

"Move your hand on three, baby. One. Two... three." Seifer immediately dipped his fingers into the wound when Squall's hand was out of the way. Blood squirted out fast and hard for the brief moment that the vein wasn't pinched. He looked into Squall's eyes deeply, not wavering. Not looking at the wound. Only looking at him. He was so concentrated on the other man that he didn't care that Odin was now in the mineshaft with them, striding forward. His heavy footsteps echoed loudly and brought up clouds of Forbidden dust. Shiva and Diablos lowered their heads in respect for this much more powerful GF, but Bahamut did not. He eyed Odin with an air of the hostility GF felt for one another when they were strongly linked with their master, and another tried to butt in.

"Odin..." Quistis trailed off, panting as she jogged to Seifer and Squall. She saw that Seifer's arm was dripping blood, so she grabbed his elbow.

"Never mind that," he snapped at her. "Help me." He was flowing cure magic into the wound to fuse the torn vein back together. He was no doctor, so it wouldn't be perfect, and he needed Quistis's help. She covered Seifer's hand with her own, doubling the amount of healing magic going into Squall's body. Because it'd been from a Forbidden, the wound smoked when cure magic hit it. Squall groaned in pain, writhing under their hands. Seifer moved his body so he was straddling Squall and pinning him down. All his moving was making it harder to heal him. "It's okay, kitten. We're almost done."

Quistis and Seifer poured a curaga spell into the wound, and Squall let out a scream. "FUUUUCCCKKKK!" His curse echoed in the cavern. Serino flew out of Quistis's pack to help, though he was still weakened. Even though the Forbidden were gone, Odin's presence was sapping the moogle's life-bound magic. All he could really do was use his pom-pom as a light to aid Seifer and Quistis.

Quistis didn't like the way that the edges of Squall's wound looked like they were poisoned and festering. Seifer continued to use cure magic to purge the toxins, and she ripped up the torn sleeve of the blonde's jacket to examine his own wound. It was a deep black puncture that smelled bad and already looked like it was going gangrene. She covered it with her palm and blasted it with cure magic. "Holy fucking Hyne!" He swore, but she didn't let up, even when he tried to jerk his arm away from her instinctively.

"No!" Seifer shouted when his hand was grabbed by Odin's ice cold metal gauntlet and pulled off Squall's neck. The touch was so cold that it burned. He tried to wrench his hand out of Odin's, but it may as well have been caught in a bear trap.

Odin ignored as Seifer cursed him out, and put his free hand on the ragged, blackening wound. It still smoked from the useless cure magic mingling with the Forbidden toxins. Squall gasped at the cold touch, screaming when unearthly magic pulsated into his skin.

"What are you doing to him?!" Seifer shouted in Odin's masked face, eyes blazing angrily.

"Stop it!" Quistis demanded, tears coming to her eyes at the awful noises coming from Squall. It sounded like Odin was killing him.

"If you kill him..." Seifer threatened.

"You'll what?" Odin asked blankly, Squall still screaming under his touch. The screams petered off into gasps, coughs and sputters. Odin lifted his hand as Squall wheezed. The ragged wound was swollen and ugly looking, but it was closed. Odin then yanked Seifer closer to him, so hard that the tall man fell against his steel chest plate. The hand that had clamped onto Squall now clapped over the festering, rotting puncture in Seifer's arm. The pain was brutal, so cold that it was boiling hot. Seifer couldn't help the scream that came out of him. He tried to struggle away, cursing Odin to the bowels of hell. But, Odin was far, far too strong for him, so he had to endure it, tears streaming down his face.

Odin pulled away after only a few moments. His wound had been much smaller than Squall's. It was swollen and an angry red, but looked healed. The undead swordsman traced a tear track on Seifer's dirty face with one metallic finger, a loving gesture. He then stood, his body dissolving like the Forbidden had only a few dangerous minutes ago. Pitch black ash swirled with the Forbidden remains, and then vanished into nothingness.

With Odin gone, Serino's magic came flowing back into him. He stroked Squall's blood-soaked, sweaty hair as he used magic to lull his pain.

"You okay?" Seifer asked, cupping Squall's face as the other man tried to sit up. He felt Quistis put her arms around his shoulders and hold on for dear life. "Just lay back."

"No," Squall muttered stubbornly. His voice was raspy, like an old man who'd smoked his entire life. He felt like he'd swallowed a circular saw. The nutty, sweet smell of Serino's fur calmed his adrenaline.

"Squall, you would have died," Quistis stated in her Instructor Trepe voice.

"No," he muttered again. "Help me up," he demanded of Seifer. He kept looking into his lover's face, into those perfect cat-green eyes. "We need to keep moving. They might come back."

"Here. At least drink something." Quistis held out her canteen to him.

He took it and drank greedily, only breaking Seifer's eye contact enough to get it open. He gave it back to her, and tried to take a few steps forward, but his legs were really shaky from the blood loss.

"Sit down," Quistis commanded.

"He's right," Seifer said grimly, putting one arm around Squall's waist as he picked up Hyperion with his free hand. "They might come back, and Garden might have found a way in by now."

"But..." She began.

"Quisty, no." Squall's voice was quiet and weary, but he kept his gunblade out, leaning into Seifer's warm side. It was a relief compared to the cold that still prickled his skin from Odin's touch. He supposed he would have to thank Odin for saving his life, even though he didn't really want to, stupid and jealous as it was. And, it had really hurt, dammit.

"Fine. Whatever." She threw her hands up in frustration. She then caught Squall in a tight hug. "You just better not ever, _ever_ scare me like that again," she said into his hair.

He held her back, not saying anything.

"Okay..." She trailed off, wiping tears from her cheeks when she broke the hug. She gave Squall a brave smile as she cupped the side of his pale face. "We better keep moving." She was all business again, not falling apart, her bravery unflappable. He loved her even more for it.

"I'm glad you're okay, kupo. You'll let me know if the pain starts to come back, right? Kupo?"

Squall nodded, and Serino happily peeped before flying over to Quistis. He sat on top of her rucksack, putting his paws on the top of her head to hold on as she started walking.

Before they started moving, Seifer caught Squall under the chin with one finger, tilting his face up. He peered into Squall's eyes to see if he really was lucid.

"I'm okay," Squall ground out impatiently.

"Alright then," Seifer murmured. "C'mere," he then whispered, cocking his head so he could kiss his lover. It was only meant to be a quick peck, lips to lips, but Squall could have died, and he tasted so good. His lips were trembling just a tiny bit against Seifer's, and the taste of his own blood was still within his mouth when Seifer's tongue couldn't help but seek passage inside. Squall's return kiss was fierce and strong enough to probably bruise Seifer's lips. And, it was then that Seifer realized it wasn't Squall's lips that were trembling. It was his own. Hyne, to be back in that stunted forest...

"No time for smoochie-face, kupo!" Serino called, peeping impatiently. They broke apart with a loud sucking sound, Serino's voice surprising them since they'd forgotten they weren't alone, and in a dark, musty and dangerous mine.

"Can you walk alone?" Seifer asked huskily. He would have liked to have held Squall forever, but both hands free in a place like this was equally as desirable.

"Don't!" Squall rasped out, holding Seifer tighter against him. "Don't leave me." Now that the adrenaline had drained from him, it'd left behind the delayed fear. The relief. The joy at feeling Seifer pressed to him, very real and very alive.

"I won't," Seifer whispered, starting them forward.

"You promise?" Squall whispered, words rattling in his aching throat. His tone was dreamy and faraway because of Serino's magic.

"I promise," Seifer vowed quietly.

---

Xu rolled her hips, bobbing her pelvis up and down on Zell's erection. They were in her office chair, and she was straddling his hips, eyes slammed shut as she moaned and wailed and made a big production about how much she was enjoying having sex with him. The sheen of sweat on her brow was because underneath her tightly closed lids, she was thinking of Nida. The way she was seeing more of him lately. The way he would give her sad, shy little smiles when they passed in the halls. The way his affection for _her_ seemed to be wavering. Xu couldn't even say her name anymore. Not even mentally.

Zell had his face buried in her breasts, thrusting up hard into her, his arms tight. Well, at least he could give her a good fucking, Xu had to give him that much. It was the only plus she could really take from this whole debacle. She was really starting to despise Zell. The way he was always calling her, being all nosy and needy and asking her a bunch of questions all the time. Wondering why she was always so distant. Wondering how she felt about the whole... thing with _her_. And, he soooo wasn't Nida. But, she needed him on her side, so she'd muster her inner strength and let him inside her. She just had to make sure he kept thinking with his dick.

Zell was oblivious to Xu's lack of interest in him. Zell wasn't always the most observant man, but Xu also was a very good actress. But, since he was about to come, he wasn't thinking about _anything_ other than that. About her breasts and pert little nipples and warm, wet vagina. He moaned her name over and over as he ejaculated into her. She was on the pill, so the sex was even better. Xu did that on purpose. Most men would do anything to not have to wear a condom.

"I guess we finally got some time together, huh?" Zell murmured into her breasts, lavishly brushing his tongue across one nipple.

"Mmm, yeah. I'm so sorry about that," she cooed, stroking his hair. The spikes had fallen down into flatter, mussed style that was actually quite attractive. She supposed he wasn't so bad in the afterglow. He was a lot calmer, and less prone to saying something completely moronic. "Being Headmaster takes up a lot of time."

"You're doing a really great job, you know?" Zell complimented, stroking her sides, tracing the curves of her hips and buttocks. "You're amazing."

"Mmm, thanks..." She trailed off dreamily, eyes closed and imagining it was Nida who'd just said it to her. Every day, it became a firmer and firmer dream, until she could actually see it happening, instead of just _wishing_ it could. Luchia hadn't come up with any evidence that Nida's hesitation about Squall and _her_ wasn't a lie. It really did seem genuine. He and Irvine were getting testier with each other, and Nida was prone to sitting alone in the library or quad, staring morosely out the window.

"Do you want to go to dinner?" Zell asked hopefully, stroking her back with his strong hands.

__

Oh dear God, no!

Her mind screamed. "Yeah, sounds nice..." she said aloud, trying not to sound ill.

"Great!" He exclaimed, beaming. He playfully slapped her ass, then groaned when there was a brisk knock on Xu's office door. "Who the hell is that?"

Xu climbed out of his lap, ignoring the semen that was dribbling down her inner thigh as the person knocked again, much louder this time. "Coming!" She exclaimed impatiently. Oh Hyne, what if it was Nida? She so did not want him to find her here, in the afterglow with Zell. "Coming!" She shouted angrily when they started knocking again. She threw Zell's pants at him, waiting until he at least had them pulled to his hips before opening the door.

Astor strode in, and seemed completely nonplussed at seeing Zell sweaty and half-naked, trying to hastily put his loudly printed shirt on. "There was a sighting."

"Where?" Xu demanded, finishing fastening the buttons on her dark green blouse. Her heart leapt with excitement. After nearly a month of just trying to guess

"The Shalmal Pass."

"So he _was_ taking them through Centra. I knew Seifer wouldn't go to Trabia," she hissed victoriously under her breath. "And?!" She asked her lieutenant impatiently.

"The trail went cold. They appear to have gone underground."

"What? Hyne the whore..." She cursed in blasphemy. "But, they'll have to come out sometime" She trailed off coldly. "All right, Astor. I'll put together a small team for you to take to the Kashkabald. Give me a couple hours." Xu already knew she would be bringing Irvine for sure. She didn't want to let him out of her sights, and she wanted to test his loyalty. If he was going to try and betray her for them, he could die with them, too.

"Of course." He nodded to her and left, not even acknowledging that Zell was in the room.

"They got to the Shalmal Pass already...?" Zell asked in disbelief. It was almost a month, but considering the terrain and distance they'd had to travel on foot, it was damned impressive. "And, they just disappeared? Hmmm..."

"They obviously didn't just disappear," Xu snapped.

Zell was stung by her tone. "I know..."

Inside, Xu was rolling her eyes and fantasizing about popping Zell's head off like a cork. "I'm sorry," she falsely placated. "It's just this whole situation... it's not easy."

"I know," he repeated. "Really, I do."

She heard something in his tone that she didn't like. If they were close to catching Seifer, Squall and... _her_, then that would mean putting them down wouldn't be far behind. "I know this is hard, baby." She draped her arms over his hard, thick shoulders. "But, we'll finally be able to have justice for Headmaster Cid. He was such a kind man. And, Rinoa too. Look what Squall did to her!"

Zell's icy blue eyes hardened. Ah, that did it. So much loyalty to Rinoa. Xu didn't get it. Such a spineless, powerless Sorceress. Tying herself up in knots, wasting away all for Squall Leonhart. What was so goddamn special about him, anyway? What did he have that would have made him a better Headmaster than Xu? Why did everyone always have to make such a big fuss about Squall Leonhart?!

"Xu...?" Zell asked. He could see that she was doing some deep inner thinking, and these thoughts were distressing her. It made her black eyes blaze.

"What?" She snapped. "Oh... Zell, I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologize. This is harder on you than on anyone, having to order this. Quistis was your best friend, after all. Hyne, you must feel so betrayed by her..." He reached up and stroked a lock of hair off her forehead.

"Yeah... Listen, I need to get going on this lead. I guess that means we'll have to skip dinner." Xu hoped that her relief didn't show in her voice.

"Oh, yeah that's cool." He leaned in to kiss her, and after a few moments, there was another knock at the door.

"I told Astor to come back in a couple of hours..." She muttered impatiently against Zell's mouth. "Could you excuse me, sweetie?"

"Sure. I, ummm..." He trailed off. He was on the verge of telling Xu that he loved her, but something inside just didn't want to cross that barrier yet. Something deep in Zell's soul that told him it wouldn't be a wise idea. A lot of the times he didn't bother listening to his inner voice of reason, but this time... it seemed appropriate. "I'll see you later, 'kay?"

She nodded, already back in Headmaster mode.

Zell opened the door to leave. "Oh!" He exclaimed in surprise. "Hey, Nida!" He greeted, lightly punching the other man in the shoulder in passing.

"Hi," Nida ground out, rubbing the spot where Zell'd punched him. A light punch meant something different from Zell Dincht than it did from most other people.

"Nida...!" Xu breathed out. She instinctively raised her hand to smooth out her hair.

"Hi, Xu." He gently closed the door behind him. "Look, I heard that there was a sighting in Centra. It's true, right?"

She nodded slowly. "Yeah. In the Shalmal Pass."

"So... I guess this will be it, huh? It's not like they can run from Garden forever." His tone was clipped, reserved.

"I know you must be broken up over this, Nida." She quickly went to him and touched his arm. Any excuse to feel his body heat so close to her own. "You don't have to worry. I won't send you to Centra. I know it'll be tough for you..."

"I want to go," was his cool reply. Each word was spoken tightly.

"You do?" She peered into his eyes, which seemed quite a few degrees frostier than they normally were.

"I need to look in her eyes and see _why_." He spoke each word carefully. "Why she would conspire to kill a man who'd loved her like she was his daughter. Why she killed Evan. Why... why I was stupid enough to believe in her."

Xu blinked heavily a few times, dumbfounded. "You...? You've changed your mind, Nida?" His name came out soft and breathy on her lips. The way she would whisper it in her dreams of making love with him.

"More like opened my eyes," he corrected blankly, gazing into her face for a long, silent moment.

"Nida..." She breathed again, stepping closer to him. He just continued to stare at her, not pushing her away, not stepping back like he'd always done in the past. Just standing there, looking so handsome, smelling so inviting. The distaste of her last sexual encounter, only moments before, was washing away. Inside her heart was beating loudly. She was sure Nida could hear it. Could he see the blush rushing to her cheeks? Could he feel how much she wanted him?

She couldn't resist anymore, and stepped closer so now she was pressed against him. Again, he stood stationary. Hyne, he wasn't pulling away! She leaned into him, and pressed the lightest of kisses against his lips. She kept her eyes closed. She couldn't bear to see rejection in his eyes, not at a moment like this. She gasped, and her legs gave out from under her when she felt him return the kiss. His mouth was warm and strong, and his arms were the only thing holding her up. She made a small mewling noise of desperate desire, clinging to his undone SeeD jacket. Nida kissed her back fiercely, holding her as tight as he could against him. They slowly slid to the floor together, clothes beginning to be peeled away from increasingly sweaty flesh. Through the picture window, the afternoon sun was dark orange, the light reflecting off the butterfly shadowboxes, the dead and trapped insects looking down on the second sexual encounter to happen in the office that afternoon.

---

"I sense water ahead," Shiva noted, feet hovering just above the uneven ground. There were rusted old trolley tracks that were making it hard to walk in the dim light. The humans all had badly bruised knees and torn pants from tripping on it. "Though... only a small amount," she added apologetically.

They'd been moving through the mine for what seemed like an eternity. It was slow going because of the bad light, but also because Squall was still getting over his injury. For the first little while, he'd had to stop almost hourly to throw up. His vomit was black and unnatural, purging the awful Forbidden toxins from his system. And, Seifer knew how horrible it tasted coming back up, because he'd also needed to stop several times to puke. But, his injury had been so small compared to Squall's that he'd been cleansed after only a couple of days. Today was the first day that Squall hadn't had to stop more than once. He was extremely pale and dehydrated, so Shiva's promise of fresh water was like music to their ears.

"Thank God," Quistis muttered, exhausted. If there was water around, she could only hope that there would be more air. There was enough oxygen to breathe, but it was like they were in high altitude. Always struggling for breath, constantly sapped and tired. She was walking beside Squall today, keeping an arm around his waist, even though he seemed a lot stronger today. The redness at his throat had receded a little, too. He looked wan and thin, and was in desperate need of a shave and shower, but she was sure that she looked just as ghoulish. Quistis hadn't seen her own reflection in a long time, but all she had to do was look at Squall and Seifer to guess what the mirror Quistis would look like. Brutal with a capital Yikes.

"Here." Seifer pressed his canteen into Squall's hand, seeing that he was drooping against Quistis.

"Kupo..." Serino trailed off in protest. Seifer had been splitting his own water ration between himself, Squall and the moogle.

"He needs it," Seifer ground out, looking sidelong at Serino on his shoulder. "Take it, Squall."

"What about you?" Squall whispered. His throat still burned, and talking was agony.

"Take it," Seifer urged again, his voice patient and loving. A tone of voice that Squall felt privileged he was one of the choice few who got to hear it.

Squall nodded. Even small words like 'thanks' hurt his parched throat. He took a couple small sips of the tepid water, feeling Seifer's lips press against his sweaty temple. Quistis wanted to offer her own water to the woefully dehydrated Squall, but Seifer had refused to allow it, point-blank and rather rudely. He said that she was their best magic user, and needed the strength. Squall had agreed, silencing her protests with icy glares that were eerily similar to his Guardian Force.

Shiva came floating back, her shimmering face impassive. "There is a small trickle of water coming in from outside. It's clean, but small." She started leading her master and his companions to the water source. She felt guilty she couldn't help Squall further. She was _made_ of frozen water, but magical water held no sustenance, and couldn't be drunk.

"Oh, thank Hyne!" Quistis breathed when she saw the tiny 'waterfall' coming from the ceiling. It dripped down the stones, and while it had flecks of mineral and dust in it, the water source wasn't contaminated. Dust particles were nothing compared to their thirst.

"We must be near the mountain's edge," Bahamut observed, looking up at the clear, starry sky through the fissure above them. The humans and Serino stood under the meagre trickle with their mouths open, unabashedly drinking down every drop. They also held up their canteens to fill them.

"No human signatures," Diablos commented, letting his wings shrink down, the rest of the bulk becoming bats that flew up into the crevice, but stayed within the mine to mask the magic output. The bats flew back down, reforming his massive wings. "The desert is not far."

Squall hesitated, face slowly pulling away from the water trickle. Kashkabald... they still hadn't figured out how to get through the desert. There was no cover. Xu and the rest of Garden were probably waiting for them there. Rinoa was probably waiting, armed with all her anger and sorcery... Deep down, Squall wondered if Seifer already had a plan, and just wasn't telling them. The idea made him feel nauseous in a way that had nothing to do with the Forbidden's toxins.

"Kukupooo kupo!" Serino exclaimed in shock when there was a vibrating buzzing sound beside him. He was near Seifer's hip, filling his own small water skin. "There's a bee in your pants, kupo!" He peered at Seifer's left hip pocket, and when it buzzed again, he peeped and jumped back. He floated forward again, poking his paw at whatever it was. "There it is again, kupo!"

"Huh?" Seifer looked down, and felt the vibration against his hip. Maybe there really was some kind of crazy mutant mine bee in there. "Oh!" He exclaimed quietly. "My phone..." He'd completely forgotten about his cell phone.

"You think it's Xu?" Quistis breathed. She waited on pins and needles to hear the buzzing again, but nothing came.

"Xu? Quisty, please. I wouldn't give her air if she was in a jug, let alone my phone number." He pulled out his phone. There were a lot of old messages, but this one must have just gotten through because they were so near to the surface, and close to Kashkabald. Centra's cellular service was terrible, but the Kashkabald was often used by Esthar for military training, so he could now get a signal. "Text message," he murmured, opening it.

Quistis and Squall looked at Seifer's face carefully. The way a muscle jumped in his jaw told them he didn't particularly like what it said, or who it was from. Seifer snapped his phone shut and let out a long breath, turning his attention back to drinking down as much water as he could.

"SEIFER!" Quistis exclaimed so forcefully that it would have made Fujin proud.

"It's from Sol. 'I'm in the area. We need to talk'," Seifer recited, that muscle in his jaw now twitching like a small heart.

"How would he know?" Quistis asked. "Or she?"

"Do you have some kind of tracking chip in you?" Squall asked. "If you got a message, we'd be back in satellite range."

"Sol is SeeD!" Quistis hissed impatiently. They'd now all completely forgotten about the water.

"Who's Sol, kupo?" Serino asked. "Kind of a funny name."

"My boss," Seifer answered darkly. His eyes narrowed, irises darkening with deep, quick thinking. "And, he's also an assassin, so he ain't someone we want to be seeing right now."

"Ku... kupo...?" Serino looked at Seifer, shocked. "Assassin, kupo?" He shook his head, dumbfounded. "If you work for an assassin, then you...?" He twittered in disbelief. "But, your aura, kupo!" Serino flew up and away from Seifer, wringing his paws in front of him.

"Oh, fuck me!" He hissed, starting to quickly search his pockets. A line was appearing between his brows and crinkling his scar. Squall knew it was from dismay at Serino's reaction.

"Faerie sight is never wrong, kupo..." The moogle murmured, more talking to himself. "How long were you a hired killer?" Serino asked. His musical voice sounded so serious. "Surely a couple of weeks, kupo."

"More like a couple of years." Seifer pulled out what he was looking for - his wallet. This line of conversation wasn't a place he wanted to go.

Serino was in a state of personal crisis, but relaxed when he saw the slight change in the tallest human's aura - the layer of shame. So, his faerie sight was still working. Serino was so distressed because he should have seen in a human's aura if they killed people for such a low reason as money. He could see death in the humans, but it was the veil of death that came with a warrior. When they'd described Garden to him, a military force, that aura made perfect sense. So, it was a deep shock to find out that being a killer didn't show in Seifer's aura.

"Dammit." Seifer pulled out the false library cards he kept. There were microchips inside them to work in the swipe locks of the Solar System's safe houses.

"But... he couldn't have found your location _and_ come here that fast just from those chips," Quistis pointed out logically. "Sol is SeeD. At least, we're pretty certain."

"What do you think he wants?" Squall rasped darkly.

"Or she!" Quistis corrected.

Seifer sighed and fixed her with an annoyed glare. "Whatever! Sol could have turned us in when we stayed in the Timber safe house. Garden also has no love for the Solar System."

"Xu was making it her personal mission to find them, and put a stop to them," Quistis murmured. "Well, she's just _full _of personal missions!" She added savagely.

"What are we deciding?" Squall asked.

"What else can we decide?" Seifer asked rhetorically. He looked at Serino, his brow creasing. The moogle was looking down, twitting under his breath, knotting his paws rapidly. He looked up briefly when he sensed eyes on him, but looked away again. It hurt Seifer's feelings. "Sol's coming whether we want to speak with him or not."

All of the Guardian Forces suddenly froze up, Diablos hissing loudly.

__

Continue forward

, a voice urged. It was coming from everywhere, slithering and sliding through the air and over their skin.

_We mean you no harm._

"What was that?" Seifer asked, looking all around for the source of the voice.

"Look at the water!" Quistis exclaimed. The small trickle had started to flow more strongly. In the thin stream, she thought she could see a glimmer of scales passing through it, then nothing. "Leviathan..."

"Who junctions Leviathan?" Seifer asked, his grip tight on Hyperion.

"Lots of SeeD," Quistis said with a shrug.

"Leviathan spoke the truth," Shiva murmured. She and the snake god shared a bond, both of the same element. "I can feel his essence down this way." Her glass-like arm gestured to the tunnel, sloping upwards. It swirled around the edge of the large cavern like caramel swirled in an ice cream cone, emptying into the fissure above.

"Fuck," Seifer hissed under his breath, starting to trudge forward. As if he had a choice.

"I sense a human ahead," Diablos noted as they ascended. "Just one, along with Leviathan."

"At least there'll be no ambush," Seifer said cheerfully. "Except of course that we're all tired, suffering from dehydration and malnutrition, and are hurt. And, Sol will be fresh as a daisy, and not to mention a trained SeeD and leader of an international assassin cell."

"But, no pressure, right?" Quistis sniped sarcastically. She was already starting to charge magic into her hands, ready to be flung out at a moment's notice.

They stepped out into the fissure, GF first. Fire magic in Quistis's fist illuminated the night, Serino clutching her neck tightly. Seifer was also carrying fire in his closed fist, Hyperion held out before him. "Over here, Jupiter," a voice said from the darkness. A familiar one. The orange light in his hand flickered and extinguished in shock when they came fully out of the fissure. Sol was waiting for them, sitting on an eroded boulder. Leviathan was in a small rain pool of water, where the drip had gone into the mines. The serpent was shrunk down, so looked vaguely like some kind of inflatable toy found in a child's wading pool. Sol raised his hands to show he was unarmed. At least, not with any weapon they could see. They looked so tired and dirty. But, still alive. "How can you still look so gorgeous, covered in dirt and bruises?" He asked, the question directed at all three of them.

"You're Sol...?" Seifer asked in disbelief.

He made a gun with his index finger and thumb, hitting the brim of his cowboy hat so his eyes showed in the dark. With a flirtatious wink and a tone of lofty surprise, Irvine asked "Why do you seem so surprised?"


	11. Chapter 11

****

Chapter 11

"What?!" Squall demanded sharply. The other two were just staring at Irvine, dumbfounded. So, Seifer had been working for Irvine all this time. Killing for him...

"Oh, please!" Irvine snapped. "Don't be so naïve." All his usual flirty playfulness was gone, leaving a cold detachment behind. "What, did you think it was just coincidence when... we... met... moogle..." The newly revealed Sol trailed off when he finally noticed Serino, sitting on Quistis's shoulder and holding her neck. Irvine, like most other humans, had never seen a moogle outside of an artist's drawing. Not even a photograph. Serino stared back, eyes narrowed. Now, _this_ was what the aura of an assassin should look like. Veiled, indigo. Dark and secretive.

He shook his head and composed himself, looking coolly at Squall and Quistis. "It wasn't just chance that when you went to Galbadia Garden back when we met again, that they just _happened_ to have an assassin right there handy for your mission. What do you think Martine was teaching us?" He asked harshly. "Garden isn't all sunshine, which is something Balamb students forget." His irritated reply had all the air of something that had been festering in him for a while. "And, I think the GF should be put away before any of Xu's men realize it's more than just Leviathan's magical signature." The pool of magical water at Irvine's feet sucked into the ground like an emptying sink, the serpent vanishing along with it. The other three looked at each other, and Seifer slowly nodded before calling Bahamut away. Squall was the last to call his GF back within himself, glaring at Irvine. He felt tricked by his childhood friend. He hated being tricked.

"What are you doing here?" Seifer asked, first to regain his composure after this little bombshell.

"Trying to get you to Esthar, darlin'," Irvine replied with a crooked grin. "But, it's not going to be easy. "And, I don't know how much I'll actually be able to help you. Xu's watching me like a hawk, and the only reason she brought me on the Mariposa team was to keep an eye on me."

"Does she know...?" Quistis asked chokingly. Seeing Irvine's face, hearing him talk about Garden and mention Xu's name made things all come crashing back to them. Out here, in the wilds of Centra, they could almost _forget_ about why they were even out here in the first place. Seeing Irvine's familiar periwinkle eyes and cowboy hat actually wasn't all that pleasant.

"What? That I've been operating a rather successful assassin's cell right under her nose? No." His voice softened.

"Well, I have to admit that you did a good job keeping it a secret," Quistis admitted begrudgingly. "You and Xu actually have a lot in common."

"You mean hiring people to do our dirty work for us?" Irvine asked, amused.

"Something like that," was her tight reply, words practically spitting out like bullets.

"Look," the crooked, flirty grin was gone, leaving something cold and calculating behind that they figured had always been there in Irvine, but they just never noticed before. "Xu's paranoia is through the roof right now. The closer you guys get to Esthar, the closer she is to getting found out. The Estharian army could crush Garden in an instant, and she's terrified of losing her position as Headmaster. She'll do _anything_ to catch you guys. Operation: Mariposa is her obsession."

"Which is...?" Seifer asked.

"To catch and execute two rogue SeeD," Quistis answered before Irvine could. "It would be her duty. It's probably been in the back of her mind for a long time."

"Love can turn to hate really easily," Irvine said, reaching into his pocket. Lionheart was immediately raised into his face. Irvine blinked his periwinkle eyes and pulled out a crumpled pack of cigarettes. "Now..." He trailed off as he lit the cigarette, taking a long drag. He turned his attentions to his assassin, his Jupiter. Seifer's eyes gave nothing away. "Xu has forces at most of the points leading out of the mountains and into the desert. There is a small path head south-southeast of here that isn't being watched. Use it. It leads to the water, and you could swim along the coastline, then out around the southern edge of Cactuar Island, and to Minde Island, where you'll be safe from Xu."

"Hardly," Squall muttered scathingly. He had ill feelings towards Irvine right now. Not simply because he'd kept something like this hidden and Squall had been completely fooled, but because Squall _knew_ Seifer didn't want to be an assassin. He felt trapped into being Jupiter. It was like Irvine had prayed on his vulnerability.

"I'll have someone waiting for you on Minde, to take you further into Esthar, so don't worry." Smoke wafted out of Irvine's mouth as he spoke. "I've been trying to find proof of Xu framing you for Cid and Evan's murders, but Astor and Luchia are prowling around like tigers, and they already suspect me of siding with you anyway. I can't get ten feet within her office." He started to reach into his coat again, and fire exploded in Seifer's fist, licking around his clenched fingers. "Oohh," Irvine purred. "You're so sexy when you're being forceful." All he pulled out was a stick of gum, though.

But, all Irvine's playful flirtation came away from his face when he looked at Quistis. "Look, Quisty... I don't like telling you bad news, but there isn't much good news going around. Looks like Xu finally got her claws into Nida."

It was like someone told her this news from very faraway. "Oh?" Was what she said, trying to ignore what felt like a monster trying to claw its way out of her stomach.

"I think he fucked her, but of course, I don't have any proof. She's still with Zell, but..."

"You can tell," Quistis murmured, staring at him. Through him. "You can always tell when people are having sex." She didn't say it teasingly or scathingly. It was just a cold fact.

"Zell doesn't see that she's only using him. And, he won't listen to me. You know how he is when he thinks he's right."

"Why?" Seifer asked carefully, changing the subject with just one word.

Irvine cocked his head, regarding Seifer with an equal amount of care. "Because I believe in you," he replied after a long pause. The question had been just one word, but had asked a hundred others. The reply answered everything underlying Seifer's single syllable. "And, you know... you are pretty cute."

Squall ignored Irvine's flirting. Or, tried valiantly to. He'd seen him flirt with a couple of men before, so it was hardly surprising. Instead, he was looking at Quistis. She had her fists held at her sides, and was watching Irvine carefully. Squall thought maybe he should say something to her about Nida and Xu's apparent relationship, but he wasn't good with words in this kind of situation, and when he tried to come up with something comforting, he couldn't. And, he knew that Quistis didn't really want to hear it.

"What will happen if you can't find any proof?" Quistis asked as if she hadn't heard Irvine's suspicions about Nida at all.

"Probably a cold war. Xu's too smart to pick a fight with Esthar, especially when their leader is the father of one of the people she's framing. And, Esthar can't just storm in there and drag her out without some solid facts. But, you could be extradited if you just wander around the streets. You'll just have to be fugitives, and hide out wherever Laguna can stick you."

"What about you?" Was Seifer's stiff question.

Irvine smirked, but his eyes were soft. He had a lot of admiration for his Jupiter. "I don't really need Garden anymore. But I'm still trying to find proof to free you." He took a long drag from the cigarette, looking at Quistis. God, he'd missed them. Despite what he really was, be it assassin or shameless cad, he was more than capable of feeling deep love, and he deeply loved these three people. "Nida's here, too."

Quistis's full mouth pursed, but it was the only emotion she showed. "How long?"

"Just recently. I don't know what the hell's gotten into him. At the beginning, he and I were in complete agreement about this whole fucking debacle, but now it's like Xu's planted her eggs in his brain. Just like all the other fucking cows who once claimed to care about you." Yes, he knew he was including Selphie and Zell in there, too.

"Maybe he told Xu you're Sol," Squall muttered. He stepped closer to Seifer, and reached for his hand. Seifer looked like a deer in headlights, his unwanted life as Jupiter coming back like a slap in the face.

Squall taking Seifer's hand didn't escape Irvine's notice. "He can't tell what he doesn't know."

"He's not one of your... planets, or whatever?" Quistis asked. Her tongue felt like it was made of wool.

Irvine shook his head.

Quistis's lips pursed just a little, but she quenched any further emotion. She'd been hoping that Nida was somehow working as a covert agent, still on her side. Still believing in her. Looks like Xu really did get everything she wanted, after all.

"I got in contact with Fujin. She said that Laguna took a small group to an old army outpost in the southeast of the Abadan Plains. Close to Minde. God, she was fucking pissed at me about 'making' you be an assassin. I'm just glad she doesn't know who I am yet. Buys me some time before my own employee starts hunting me down."

"Fujin?" Squall asked sharply.

Irvine's brow constricted. "Yeah..." He trailed off as if Squall were simple. "Wait... you didn't tell them?"

"What?" Squall demanded, voice raspy but firm. His icy eyes darted between Irvine and Seifer. Sol and Jupiter.

"It wasn't my secret to tell," was the grim response.

"Even now, you're still loyal and noble. And no, I'm not making fun of you." He turned to Squall and Quistis. "Fujin is one of mine. When did you find out?"

"When I didn't care about hiding it anymore," Seifer answered. _When all that mattered was Squall staying alive._

"You have to keep moving. I've stayed way too long already. Just... stay close to the water. Swim what you can. I'll try to get Leviathan to help you. Just get to Minde, and things will be okay." He then suddenly leaned into Seifer and gave him a big, not platonic at all kiss on the mouth. He let his lips linger, and brought Seifer's lower lip into his mouth. Seifer just stood there in shock, and Squall's face went white with rage. When Irvine pulled back, he grinned. "Just wanted to see what it was like, y'know?" He tipped his hat to them, and walked into the darkness, and out of view.

The three of him just let him go with a weary silence. It didn't even occur to them to be shocked about what just happened. They'd had so many people in their lives turn out to be something... else. What was one more? They started walking down the goat path that led to the mouth of the Kashkabald. Walking was instinct now. They had to keep moving. They couldn't stop. One foot in front of the other and they would stay alive. They would stay together.

"Can we trust him?" Quistis asked tonelessly after a silent trudge. Even Serino was very quiet. Not a single peep or 'kupo'. It felt like a horrible thing to ask about a childhood friend, but they'd had far too much of friends betraying them.

"Don't have a choice," Squall muttered, still fuming about another man kissing Seifer _right in front of him_. He was quite shocked about Irvine. It actually made him feel all kinds of horrible. He'd never much paid attention to Irvine. His memory was still fuzzy about their childhood relationship. Irvine must have had all these fond memories of them playing together as children, growing up together before being shipped off to different Gardens. And, Squall didn't remember it. _God, what a fucking asshole,_ he chastised mentally. Just like he hadn't noticed that Seifer had always had deep romantic feelings for him. All that time. He'd been closer to Seifer than he'd been to anyone, and it still took him seventeen years to see it. Hyne, Quistis had been in 'love' with him too, and had he noticed _that_?!

"You okay?" He heard Quistis's warm, velvety voice asked, like she was asking from inside a tin can.

Squall slowly looked at her. "Huh?"

"Where did you go that's so far away?"

"Where I always go."

She reached up and touched his cheek affectionately. When she started walking up on ahead, Squall found himself looking at Seifer. As if he needed any internal, thoughtful reasoning to do that, other than he was so fucking beautiful, and Squall loved him violently. They trudged along, actually moving slower than they had in any of the other portions of their journey across Centra. Because... maybe they didn't want to get to Esthar. Only false accusations, suspicions and betrayal would be waiting for them there. Maybe Laguna wouldn't be happy to see a son that was now a wanted criminal, who'd slapped his own sister, and said such hurtful things about his dead wife. But here... they had each other. Here, Seifer kept them safe. Seifer, his lover. Seifer, their hero. Seifer, who looked so miserable.

Squall's deep thinking had made him lag behind, so he trotted to catch up to the other man, reaching for his hand and holding it tight. Seifer had removed his mittens because the temperature was climbing at a fast, noticeable rate. Squall also took his mittens off, and the feel of Seifer's bare hand against his own was still like an electrical spark - powerful and surprising. Squall's hands were actually one of his most sensitive body parts, one of his erogenous zones. So, touching Seifer's bare hand with his own was like touching more intimate body parts.

"Are you okay?" Squall asked. He leaned into Seifer, stretching out his stride just as Seifer shortened his own so they could walk in sync.

"Same as I always am," Seifer answered with the Almasy grin out in full force. But, it was so tight and sad around the edges. The smirk vanished, Seifer knowing he couldn't hide anything from Squall. "You would figure finding out that Sol was someone I know would make me feel better somehow. But, it makes me feel so much worse. Like even my friends don't think I'm anything better than a killer."

"You know that Irvine doesn't see it that way," Squall murmured. Quistis was up further ahead, a pair of binoculars out, scanning things, so this conversation was wholly private. Serino was gesturing to her with his fuzzy white paws, which looked a little on the dirty side. Even moogles were affected by hard journeys. "You heard him. The disrespect in his voice for Balamb SeeD. He chose you, and Fujin too, because he respects you. Maybe even more than he respects me or Quisty."

"He loves you guys."

"He loves you, too. You think he'd kiss just anyone like that?"

Seifer rolled his eyes, but a smile was tugging at the corners of his mouth. "You think everyone wants to have sex with me, don't you? And yeah he does kiss people like that all the time."

Squall's mind got stuck on the words 'have sex with me', until he was hearing it looped over and over again in his head, Seifer's voice so husky and inviting.

"C'mon now Kitten, you're going to make me all distracted," Seifer teased, seeing the look on Squall's face, the way his eyes darkened like a cold, deep ocean.

"Kitten?" Squall echoed. He thought that Seifer might have called him that once before recently, but it hadn't registered. Or, maybe he'd called him that a few times while they were students, too. His memory of that time was still a little hit-or-miss.

"You don't like it? I think it suits you, with the whole Lion thing and all."

Squall shrugged as if he didn't care, but it was really because it made him suddenly feel very shy. He actually really, _really_ liked the nickname. It seemed so... couple-ish.

Seifer's grin lost its edge of sadness. Squall could try to hide it all he wanted, but Seifer would always know how he felt.

"Guys!" Quistis hissed, waving them over with an urgent hand. Both men were all completely business again when they crouched beside her. She was looking out towards the desert, and handed Seifer the binoculars. "What do you think, hon?"

Seifer peered across the Western expanse of the Kashkabald, and saw the great shadow in the distance that had Quistis so excited - a sandstorm. The tall man pursed his lips in thought, handing the binoculars to Squall.

"Looks like it's coming pretty fast," Squall noted.

"They usually don't last very long, either..." Quistis noted. "Remember that one when we were stationed here with the Ioam, and it only lasted five minutes, but three of them died?"

" ...no," Squall muttered, squinting through the binoculars. More black spots in his memory, but these ones were of his own making. "I was drunk, remember?"

"We can still see the coast now, but if we don't start moving, we'll lose our bearings and probably walk right on Xu's toes."

"You think we should?" Squall wondered. He was getting a bad feeling.

"We don't have much choice, kupo," Serino said kindly. He could sense the shift in Squall's aura. His apprehension that something was going to happen. Serino could see an empathetic sheen of gold in Squall's aura. He was more in touch with the world's intangible and spiritual energy than the other two humans, whose auras had the sheen of silver - analytical and scientific. Serino also could sense something bad might happen, but if they stayed where they were, something bad was _certain_ to happen.

"Stay in constant physical contact," Quistis urged them, reaching out and grabbing the back of Seifer's coat. She felt Serino brush past her, and Squall's warmth to her back. They came out of the mountains for the first time in a long time - nearly two months, though they didn't realize it because the passage of time had become something illusory. The desert air felt like a blast furnace against their faces when they weren't protected by the mountains.

Once they were in the sandstorm fully, barely able to see an inch in front of them and being pelted by the grains of sand that felt like sharp rocks and needles, Serino started peeping worriedly. This sandstorm didn't feel natural. And, Diablos agreed, because he forcibly disjunctioned himself from Quistis. She tried to quell the groan that ripped from her throat, but still stumbled to her knees, clutching her chest in pain. A forcible disjunction was never comfortable, but Diablos was so agitated, and his power so high, that it felt like he'd taken a kidney with him.

"This is no sandstorm," Diablos warned. Shiva and Bahamut also disjunctioned, causing their masters to buckle under the pain.

"Pandemona," Shiva hissed, yellow ribbons at her temples flapping in the high winds.

"It's a trap." Bahamut spread his wings out wide to shelter the humans from the pelting, swirling sands. "Run."

"Fuck," Squall hissed. Irvine must have betrayed them... shit, shit, shit. He shouldn't have trusted him! He'd been lying about being Sol this whole time, why would lying about this be any different?!

"Come on!" Quistis called through the thick sand. She felt someone bump into her, but the visibility was zero, so she had no idea who it was. She gasped when the sound of gunfire could be heard over Pandemona's roaring winds.

"This way!" Seifer shouted, reaching out and grabbing Quistis's wrist with one hand, Squall's bicep with the other. He wouldn't need his hands free for Hyperion now. They had to get away... he had to get Squall and Quisty to Esthar. He could hear Serino peeping near his ear from his position on Quistis's shoulder, holding on for dear life and casting some kind of faerie magic. He felt something like a punch in the gut, which meant Bahamut must have taken some damage from the gunfire they were hearing over the howling noise of the sandstorm.

Seifer ran as fast as he could, dragging Quistis and Squall along with him. He felt one of them stumble, but he yanked them back up to their feet, fast enough that it might have popped their shoulder out of joint. But, it didn't matter. The sound of Garden's gunfire was getting closer, and something else... the sound of a voice calling out instructions over a megaphone. Xu.

The sound of her old friend's voice yelling for the Garden troops to hunt them down sent chills down Quistis's spine. It was more painful than the throbbing in her shoulder. It'd been her that fell, and she'd felt a pop when Seifer had pulled her back up. "Find them. NOW!" She could hear Xu scream, voice echoing. "Bring them to me!"

"Faster!" Seifer urged them. The gunfire was getting closer, and he heard a bullet whiz dangerously close to his ear. The sound of Shiva, Bahamut and Diablos casting magic against the Garden GF was deafening. Behind them, Shiva screamed, and even through the sands, they could see the cool glowing of her body ignited by a massive fireball. Ifrit casting a rare spell, which meant that it must have been Zell controlling him. If Zell were here, that meant that Selphie probably was, too. Seifer was most concerned about getting attacked by Doomtrain. They'd be completely fucked if they got bogged down with its toxins. And, what about Rinoa?

He shook his head. He couldn't think about that now. Seifer knew this area of Kashkabald, and knew there was a sloping cliff ahead that would lead down to the waters, and out of the sandstorm. It was secluded enough that they could hide for a little while, especially if the SeeD were held up with some kind of distraction

They flew out of the front end of the storm, the sand so white it was blinding. Shouting and bullets chased after them, and when a few SeeD agents blasted through the storm in front of them, they were met with the resistance of three angry GF. Shiva flung out razor-sharp shards of ice, which imbedded in a few of the SeeD like shrapnel. Ifrit then came flying out of the sandstorm, and tackled Shiva with a loud, angry roar. In the distance, Seifer could hear the ominous whine of Doomtrain's whistle.

"Come on!" Seifer shouted over the cacophony - bullets and shouting, magic and the roaring winds. He tackled a SeeD that was in a duel against Quistis, kicking him as hard as he could in the side of the head. He didn't even look back to see if the SeeD was dead. All that mattered was getting to the cliffs. All that mattered was their safety.

When they reached the lip of the cliff, the descent looked rather dizzying. It wasn't a sheer drop, but it was a long way down. They were so close to the water that they could feel the salty mists in the air, cold and refreshing compared to the hot and dry desert air.

"We're almost there!" Quistis urged with a grim smile of determination on her cracked lips. The smile faltered when she looked at Seifer. He'd pulled Hyperion off his back, and was looking over his shoulder to where Bahamut was attacking Ifrit to get the fire demon off Shiva. Through the dying winds, they could see the hulking shadow of a vehicle coming towards them. Somehow, they all knew that Xu was on board. That this was the end of the line.

"Come on!" She hissed. Diablos started to retreat from the Summon battle towards his mistress.

"You two run. Get down to the water, and swim like your life depended on it. Stay underwater for as long as you can without taking air. The water will act as a magical barrier. They won't be able to target spells at you."

Quistis furrowed her brow. "But, Seifer..."

"You'll never make it unless there's a distraction. I can draw their eyes away."

"...no," Squall whispered quietly. When he met Seifer's peridot green gaze, his heart lurched so painfully it felt like a heart attack. "No," he repeated more firmly. An order.

"Go."

"NO!" Squall shouted, reaching out to grab Seifer's forearm, holding it in a vice-like, desperate grip. If he didn't let go, Seifer wouldn't leave him.

"Kupo," Serino peeped quietly. The colour change in Seifer's aura just then

"Just hurry!" Seifer urged desperately, his voice breaking as he looked at the two of them. He quickly looked over his shoulder. The armoured truck was now in plain sight. Xu was perched behind a large metal shield, shouting commands over her megaphone. Nida was beside her, and as they got closer, Quistis had to bite her lip in fury. He had his gun out, and was pointing it at them. It wasn't a long range gun, but they were getting closer and closer. Soon, he'd be able to take a shot. "Please, go!" Seifer pleaded.

"No!" Squall whispered. He was holding his lover so tightly now that it hurt his fingers. "I won't leave you!"

"Come on!" Quistis moaned. She could now see Nida and Xu's faces clearly, and even Astor and Luchia in the cab of the truck, the latter behind the wheel. Nida was aiming now. She was pulling on Squall's arm, reaching out for Seifer so she could try and drag him along, too. Even though she knew what he was going to do, she wouldn't let him without a fight. She couldn't lose him. Seifer and Squall were her family. She couldn't lose them!

Seifer reached up and touched the side of Squall's face, stroking the line of his fair cheekbone. That feather-light touch was so quick and yet so much more intimate than any kiss. Seifer's eyes brimmed with tears as he studied Quistis, and all her fierce loveliness. Her full mouth and eyes bright with wisdom, even if she didn't always see it in herself. Then, Squall's beautiful face. A tear escaped and trailed down Seifer's cheek as he committed every plane and line to memory, wanting to stare at him forever - even as he was thrusting out with his hands and pushing them off the edge of the bluff. Just as his hands made contact with their chests and shoved with all his might, a flurry of gunfire rang out over the sound of the armoured truck's engine. As Squall and Quistis lost their footing and started to fall backwards, the bullets hit Seifer in the back, his body falling forward. Blood arced through the air as Seifer crashed into them, causing them to fall faster.

"SEIFER!" Squall screamed, feeling droplets of blood land on his face, burning him like fire. He hit the sandy ground hard, body flipping over and over as he rolled down the hill, sometimes crashing into Quistis, dimly aware that he was still screaming Seifer's name, calling to him, begging him... _You can't leave me_, a small voice inside him pleaded to Seifer. _You promised you wouldn't. You can't leave me!!_ The voice cried and screamed, echoing in his brain even as he felt himself go cold from within, his body shutting down to protect from the pain. He could hear Bahamut making an unholy noise, a high-pitched screech that rattled everything. He was screaming, making the same noise that Squall's heart would be making if his mind would've allowed it. Something hard and metal smashed into his elbow, and he felt blood, but it was nothing compared to the blood on his face. Seifer's blood.

Bahamut screamed in agony, his slate blue body zooming towards the armoured truck, where Xu's laughter could be heard echoing through the megaphone. He'd lost another of the Dragoon bloodline. He'd lost _her_ son. It felt like he was losing Dinara all over again. Bahamut could hear Doomtrain's whistle blowing, getting closer and closer, but his anger made him reckless. He could feel his connection with Seifer wavering, weakening. One of the humans in the truck got out from behind the wheel. A man. He started to move towards Seifer, and Bahamut immediately changed course to get to his master. But, before he could, Doomtrain slammed into the side of him, so hard that it caused this form to explode in a shower of magical sparks. He had to vanish to the ethereal realm where Summons had their true power, and leave his mistress's only surviving child to die.

"You cunt," Quistis hissed under her breath. Even down near the coast, with the waves lapping against the rocks, she could hear Xu's laughter echoing. "You stupid bitch. You bitch, you bitch," she breathed over and over, even as she was rising to her feet. She was sure she'd sprained her wrist on the way down, and she could feel blood going down under the collar of her parka. "I'll kill you for this," she whispered, knowing in that moment she meant both Xu _and_ Nida. He'd shot Seifer right in the back... some of his blood was splattered in Quistis's hair, still wet. "I'll get you for this," she hissed through clenched teeth, grabbing Squall by the armpits to hoist him to his feet. "I'll kill you, you bitch. Both of you." In that moment, she knew that if given the chance, she'd kill Nida, too. Deep down, she'd been hoping that he might be working undercover to bring Xu down, but he'd shot Seifer so coldly in the back, his face void of anything... "Come on Squall," she commanded, her voice only rising just a touch over a whisper. "We have to swim."

Squall just stay there on his knees, looking down at the metal thing that had smashed into him on the way down. Seifer's gunblade.

"Kupoooo!" Serino moaned. "GF coming!" He shivered. "Hurry, kupo!"

Quistis would have liked nothing more than to have followed Squall's lead and collapsed right there. What did it matter if they got caught now? But, Seifer wouldn't have wanted that. "Come on, Squall! On your feet, soldier!"

Squall's hand closed around the hilt of Hyperion. It still felt warm from Seifer's grip.

"Hurry, Squall!" Shiva's voice called. She'd gone to the water, and it restored her health. Around her feet, the surface iced up. Her voice sounded stuffy and faraway, her glassy lips trembling. There were tracks of tears frozen on her cheeks, and she looked see-through. "We must go!"

"Why?" Squall demanded coldly, holding Hyperion tighter.

"Because my first priority is your safety!" Shiva stated icily. "Just like it was for Seifer."

"_Come onnnnn_!" Quistis urged, pulling Squall up by the armpits with all her might. Diablos's bats came streaming down the hill, collecting Quistis, Serino and Squall in the black cloud. It lifted them like a jet stream and hurried them towards the water.

"Squall, you have to swim!" Quistis urged, shaking her head when he just stood there, looking down at Hyperion. "Seifer gave his life to save you! Don't repay him by throwing away his sacrifice!" She shouted, gripping his shoulders and shaking hard. The engine of the truck was getting closer. Xu was shouting again, urging the SeeD to find them, to kill them.

"_Get in the water_!" A voice shouted all around them. It caused the waves to rise, and the surf to churn. "_Quickly, pleassssse_!"

"Leviathan..." Quistis trailed off. She pulled out her whip and cracked it, ignoring the pain in her wrist.

"He means no harm!" Shiva urged, hurriedly looking up to the bluff. "COME ON!" She grabbed Squall in her icy embrace and brought him into the water, pushing him under the surface. Quistis dove down under him, clutching Serino to her chest, telling him to hold his breath. Diablos's bats followed, swirling around her like a comforting hug.

Leviathan swept up underneath them, Shiva and Diablos's bats holding Squall and Quistis against the slippery surface of the serpent's back. Quistis knew that Diablos would never let her go with a GF whose master meant her harm, but still... could they trust Leviathan? He was being controlled by Irvine, after all. Going at this speed, Leviathan had to break the surface so Squall and Quistis could be above the slipstream. Their human bodies just couldn't handle water going past them that fast. Serino was shivering against Quistis's bosom, his snowy white fur splattered with droplets of red. She held the moogle tighter, looking over her shoulder towards the cliffs. _Where we left Seifer behind..._ Xu and the SeeD should have been able to see them from here. They were right out in the middle of open water. Quistis felt a warmth tingling through her extremities, comforting and welcoming. She looked down at Serino, wondering if he was using some kind of faerie magic to cloak them from their enemies.

Squall didn't even notice when they broke water. It was only reflex that made him breathe. What was even the point of breathing now that Seifer was gone? He could still feel Seifer's finger stroking his cheek. It made his breath come out shakily, and the world became blurry through his tears as a crack in the encroaching ice within him started to appear. His hands tightened around the hilt of Hyperion, and he willed all that pain to go deep down inside him. It was easy, actually. He had so much practice repressing his feelings. He would just have to work a little harder now, repress much more. Repress _everything_.

"Serino, I think your magic's working!" Quistis exclaimed, trying to be cheerful. But, her voice cracked and wavered with her internal agony.

"Kupo, it's not me," Serino mumbled into her chest, still shaking.

"_It isn't faerie_," Diablos's voice murmured in her mind, coming from within the clouds of bats.

Leviathan was starting to slow down, Minde island now a large shadow on the horizon. It was a small island covered by rocky terrain and grubby grassland. It had once been a watch station for Adel's forces, but now it was used as a weather terminal, and part of the island housed a bird sanctuary for the endangered orange-cheeked Estharian sparrow. Quistis knew that because Seifer had told them. He would have liked to have come here to see the small songbirds. She wanted to weep and scream and rip Xu and Nida apart with her bare hands, but she didn't. She bit back her sobs. Squall needed her strong right now. She couldn't fall apart just yet. They still weren't safe. The warm, loving magic was getting stronger, like a pulse. A heartbeat that matched her own. She looked down as Serino flew out of her arms, and went straight to Squall. She then realized that he wasn't shivering from the water, or the nearness of Leviathan's magic, or even this other alien magic that was like a beacon. It was because Seifer was gone, and the moogle wanted to be near Squall and be with him to grieve.

Leviathan pulled up alongside the rocky shore of the small island, triangular snake's head breaking the water's surface. "Follow the magical beacon. A vehicle will be waiting to take you to Esthar."

"How can we trust you?" Quistis asked, the bats roiling away from her and Squall, becoming Diablos's demon form again.

Leviathan just looked at them, and dove under the water. They could see his massive shadow underneath the waves, swimming back towards the Kashkabald.

"I guess we have no choice," Quistis muttered, hands balling at her fists. She suddenly felt so lost. Seifer was the one who knew where he was going. Seifer was the one who'd given them the confidence that they were actually going to make it this far. Seifer had been their strength and hope, and now he was gone. Even if he hadn't died instantly, he would soon be dead. Either from his injuries, or by Xu's hand. No she'd probably think it beneath her to deal with Seifer. She'd always hated him and thought him unworthy to be SeeD. She'd probably get Astor or Luchia, or even Nida now, to try and pump Seifer for information about where Quistis and Squall were now, and then just kill him when he wouldn't break.

"This way..." Quistis trailed off. She took Squall's hand and started leading him like a child. He wrenched his hand away, and walked beside her, back straight, face emotionless and staring straight ahead. Just like the old Squall, but so much more horrible because Quistis knew what he was feeling, deep down under all that robotic chill. Or, maybe she didn't... She'd never shared that kind of love with someone else. She'd thought it might be Nida, but not now. Not now.

"Just up ahead," Shiva noted. She was floating along ahead of them, her voice shaking, her eyes nearly white from the frozen tears filling them. Squall's emotions were showing more through her than through himself. There were a couple of hairline cracks along her chest and torso, like she was falling apart at the seams. Like she was going to shatter into a million pieces to never be remade.

They could see a figure ahead, standing by a Galbadian model utility vehicle. Gentle light was coming from them, beckoning Squall and Quistis forward. When they got close enough to see who it was, Diablos snarled, his wings furling back, claws curled.

"Wait!" Rinoa cried, holding her hands up to show she wasn't armed. Diablos, this close to her, had sensed Alexander slumbering within her. The demon and the holy machine had no love for each other.

"Rinoa...?" Quistis trailed off, still feeling the warm magic inside her. She realized now that it was Rinoa's own heartbeat she was feeling, in time with her own. "What are you doing here?" She demanded harshly, fire magic charging in her fists.

"Waiting for you," the dark-haired woman answered. She was dressed as simply as Quistis had ever seen her. Hair pulled back in a ponytail, no make-up, old jeans and a black flap jacket. It looked quite big on her, and was decorated with bars of high rank. It must have belonged to General Caraway once. She looked to Squall and Quistis, overjoyed that they were okay and alive. It came through in her magic, and gave the other two a huge swell of warmth.

Rinoa's mouth fell into a little surprised 'o' when she saw Serino sitting on Squall's shoulder, face pressed into the curve of Squall's neck. "Moogle..." She trailed off, but then collected herself when she noticed a large absence. "Wh... where's Seifer?"

Quistis took her breath in like she'd been slapped, and Squall just kept staring straight ahead. Like he was looking right through Rinoa. Like his mind wasn't there. Like he was dead.

Rinoa looked at her feet and shook her head. Seifer always seemed like one of those people who would live forever. That he could survive anything. Rinoa slowly looked up into Squall's face. She knew him well enough to see the agony lying deep underneath his cold eyes. She felt like she should say something, but all words would have been hollow. She knew, because that horrible loss had festered inside her too, after the death of her mother. She could feel tears coming to her eyes, but ignored them. She'd been so weak for so long... she _had_ to be strong now.

"Come on," she said, voice braver than she felt. "They'll figure out you came this way. Until you're with Laguna, you're not safe."

"Why should we trust you?" Quistis demanded, taking a step back when Rinoa reached for her arm. Her whip was suddenly in her hand.

The Sorceress supposed she deserved this hostility. After all, she hadn't believed in her friends. She hadn't believed in Quistis for so long... "I just want to make things right," she whispered, her warm brown eyes pleading with Quistis's cobalt ones.

"We don't have a choice," Squall said hollowly, moving towards the car. Squall's eyes slid over to Rinoa for a fraction of a second as he passed her. It was impossible for her to read his gaze. The moogle looked over his shoulder at her, making a quizzical little chirping noise. This young woman that Quistis called 'Rinoa' seemed so alien to him with her body filled with magic.

Quistis stood where she was for a few moments, but realized that Squall was right. With a squaring of her shoulders, she followed him. Rinoa slipped behind the wheel of the army truck, and hit the gas even before Quistis's door was closed all the way. The silence within the truck was tense and ugly. The mistrust coming off Squall and Quistis was thick, and Rinoa found it hard to concentrate on driving over the rough terrain, and keep both a physical and magical eye out for Garden.

Rinoa gasped when she heard Alexander's voice in her mind. She was so keyed up that even his familiarity had shocked her. _Rinoa, from the air._

"You have enough strength to cast some magical barriers?" Rinoa asked of her passengers. "Alex says there's something coming from the sky." Their truck bounced dangerously as they crossed the wooden bridge connecting Minde Island with the Abadan Plains of Esthar proper. Almost there

Quistis narrowed her eyes. Diablos hadn't mentioned anything within her. But, then she felt it. Something big and magical coming towards them. She charged some blue magic in her hands, and shot a quick look to Squall in the back. He was in no mental condition to cast magic on himself right now, so she used Mighty Guard to protect both of them. Rinoa's skin started to glow, gently at first and then so bright that Quistis had to look away. The high-pitched, deathly whine of Doomtrain's whistle could be heard.

"Oh, Selphie..." Rinoa trailed off sadly, her eyes looking like black coal against the white of her glowing skin. Suddenly, the sky was alight like there'd been a great explosion, and through the white, the silhouette of a city-sized machine could be seen, wings sprouting from its hulking back. There was no physical sound from the cannon that Alexander fired at Doomtrain, but it could be felt in the ground. Rinoa had to concentrate hard on keeping their truck upright, and Quistis had to clutch her chest because the magic felt like a punch. Serino squawked and started murmuring under his breath to throw up some more protective shields around himself.

Rinoa could feel Doomtrain's counterattack, like black poison seeping into her ethereal plane. She wedged her boot down on the accelerator, swerving to avoid a streaking lightning bolt crashing from the sky. Quetzacoatl had joined the fight.

"Shit!" Quistis hissed. Quistis rolled down the window and hoisted herself half-out of it, firing ray bombs towards the GF.

"It's Luchia!" Rinoa shouted over the din. "But, she's far away. She sent her GF ahead as a scout!"

Bats flew out of Quistis's body and streamed towards Quetzacoatl. Rinoa groaned and had to grip the steering wheel tight when she felt Alexander take a hefty blow. Right now, she had to concentrate on keeping barriers up around them. If Doomtrain landed a successful blow against them, they'd be incapacitated.

Suddenly there was a loud scream filling the sky, rattling both the physical and the psychic. A large figure streaked towards the battle between Alexander and Doomtrain, and slammed right into the train. Doomtrain made a horrible metallic crunching noise, and then was engulfed in the red-hot fire that was streaking from Bahamut's mouth. The dragon then caught Doomtrain's front car in his claws. The metallic screech was near deafening when the dragon king tore Doomtrain apart. Alexander concentrated a holy cannon on the caboose, and together they caused a massive implosion in which Doomtrain was engulfed, sent back to the Summoning dimension.

__

Go on ahead

, Alexander urged his Sorceress. _I will come to you_.

"Quisty, hang on!" Rinoa shouted, making the truck go as fast as it could. To find their location, Rinoa was using a small homing device that Irvine had given her. He said he used it to track Fujin's position. Rinoa didn't know why he'd be tracking the silver-haired woman, but hadn't asked. Somehow, she knew the reason was more ominous than stalking a woman he'd slept with.

Squall looked up and watched as they drove away from Bahamut, who was now concentrating all his fury on Quetzacoatl. Lightning crackled in amongst the clouds, and a bolt shot out towards their vehicle. Rinoa cried out as it hit the truck. She was shielding them, so took the majority of the attack. The truck swerved so sharply that the three of them were flung around within like rag dolls. Rinoa's forehead slammed against the steering wheel, and the passenger window cracked and shattered when the crown of Quistis's head punched right through it. Squall's neck was snapped back and he was flung to the side where his shoulder slammed against unforgiving metal. Instinctively, he pressed Serino into his chest and curled around him to protect the moogle. He could hear Quistis or Rinoa scream as the truck started to flip over. He wondered if they would die here. The thought wasn't that unpleasant. He'd get to be with Seifer again...

Before the truck could flip, hundreds and hundreds of bats swarmed around it, pushing the truck upright, enveloping them in high frequency squealing.

"Diablos..." Quistis trailed off, blood running down her temple. Her vision was grey, and she felt like she was going to pass out.

Rinoa shook her head, seeing double. "Oh, Hyne..." She groaned, immediately looking at the homing device. "If we can just get a little closer...!" She pressed down on the accelerator again. The truck's engine made a scary noise of protest, but she gunned it anyway. She needed to be closer to teleport four beings. She'd never teleported more than just herself, and even that was challenging to a fledgling Sorceress like her, but she had to try or they were going to die. She could feel Alexander getting weaker, and a new magical form had come within range. Siren, followed by a much larger, darker one. "Oh, fuck..." Rinoa trailed off.

Quistis immediately looked over to Rinoa. She rarely ever swore, so something must have been seriously wrong. "What?" She demanded.

"Eden," Rinoa groaned, her chest burning. There was black smoke starting to come out from under the crumpled hood of the truck, but Rinoa didn't let up. Not even when the vehicle started vibrating like it was going to fall apart any second. Not even for the intense pain stretching through her veins from Eden's approach.

"Eden?!" Quistis echoed fearfully. "Xu, you bitch." Xu's natural GF had always been, like Zell, Ifrit. But, the fact that Eden wasn't just blowing up everything within a 20 mile radius meant that someone had been training with the dangerous GF, and Quistis _knew_ it was Xu. Only she would be greedy enough in her current mental state to put herself through trying to be compatible with that... monstrosity.

Rinoa was struggling to breathe with Eden so near. Adel's magical scientists had created Eden from the blackest places of magic, not only raping Bahamut's power, but also the power of a monster such as Ultima Weapon, and even the magic that the earth held naturally. It was a magical abomination, like Adel herself had been. This horrible pain in her chest was the same as when she'd been briefly joined to the tyrannical Estharian Sorceress. "Come on," she urged the truck. The black smoke was so thick she couldn't see where she was going. "Come on. Please, please, please, please..."

"Oh, God!" Quistis spun around in her seat, the world briefly going upside down because of her probable concussion. She could see an impossibly bright beam of light streaking towards them, unearthly sigils burning into the parched ground. "Rinoa, hurry!" She reached out and gripped the other woman's shoulder, tasting her terrified heartbeat.

Rinoa was silently praying to Alexander, to Hyne, to any god or goddess she could think of. The truck was sputtering, and she was sure she'd seen flames licking up from under the hood, illuminating all that black, thick smoke. They were slowing down, even though the pedal was right to the floor. Then, she felt it. A tug inside her that told her she was close enough. She felt for Squall, Quistis and the little moogle's auras, and sucked them within herself, the same way Edea had taught her to suck in her own aura and let it become one with all that power deep inside her. In the blink of an eye, they were elsewhere. Rinoa let out a great gasp of breath, sinking to her knees. Teleporting that many people had completely sapped all her energy.

Quistis had also fallen to her knees, her concussion getting the better of her. When everything wasn't spinning anymore, she looked around and saw they were maybe a hundred meters away from a squat, plain grey group of buildings. In the far distance, Esthar's suburbs glittered and glowed like alien jewels.

"Thank... Hyne..." Rinoa sputtered, struggling to her feet. She reached out for any kind of leverage to help her up, and wound up holding onto Squall's wrist. She hoisted herself up, bumping into him from dizziness. Standing this close to him and feeling his warmth felt so familiar, like she'd stepped back in time.

"We should get out of sight," Quistis noted, standing. She tried to take a couple of steps, but fell to her knees again. She cast a few cure spells on all of them, enough to get to the building cluster ahead. "Wh... what about Diablos...?"

"He'll find us," Rinoa answered with surety, slowly stepping away from Squall. Once upon a time, she would have clung to him desperately at a time like this. Before Seifer. But, it wasn't even Seifer. It was them. They'd been over for so long, and Rinoa finally saw it now. She'd been clinging to a relationship that hadn't actually really existed. She saw Quistis stumble again and rushed to her, gripping her elbow to help the taller woman to her feet.

"I'm fine," she ground out, pulling her arm out of Rinoa's gentle grip.

"I'm just trying to help..."

The coldness in Quistis's eyes melted just a fraction, but she still held the anger. She was too tired and sore and heartbroken to forgive Rinoa right now. It still hurt, the feeling of betrayal. Especially after losing someone whose faith in her hadn't wavered even for a second. The sense of loss was crippling, and Quistis had to cover her mouth to hold back a sob.

When the group silently came to the main building of the compound and started to climb the blocky cement steps to the main entrance, the doors were opened by two heavily armed Estharian soldiers.

"Inform the President," one murmured to the other, voice muffled by his full facemask. "Lady Rinoa." He bowed low to her, his gun now pointed at the floor. His face then turned to the moogle that was now hovering mid-air, purple wings beating. He made a small, muted noise of surprise.

"Alert a doctor, please!" Rinoa called to the retreating guard. She felt herself pass through a magical barrier, sucking the energy right out of her like a vacuum.

"At once, My Lady!" He bowed and continued up the hallway.

"Oh my God, ya know?!" Raijin came running down the hall, Fujin just behind him. "We were watching from the guard room, ya know?! You're okay!" He caught Quistis in a tight and painful bear hug, but she was so numb that the pain wasn't registering right now.

"SAFE," Fujin murmured, relief softening the hard edge of her voice. She gently squeezed Quistis's shoulder, which from Fujin was like a big gleeful hug and kiss. The silver-haired woman then looked at Squall and Rinoa, and noticed the face she most wanted to see wasn't there. "SEIFER?" She asked sharply, looking at Quistis. His name made Squall flinch.

The only answer Quistis could muster was a small shake of her head, eyes looking at her shoes. She couldn't meet Fujin's lone russet eye and tell her Seifer was dead.

Fujin's head snapped up, and her single eye bore into Squall. She saw him holding Hyperion... "You did this," she whispered, stalking over to him. She glared into his face, and he had to look away. "YOU DID THIS!" She screamed, hauling off and backhanding him. Her hand cracked loudly against his cheek. "YOUR FAULT!" She screamed, hitting him again, this time with a closed fist.

"Fujin!" Rinoa exclaimed, trying to pull the other woman off Squall, but Fujin shoved her aside so hard that she banged into the wall. It knocked the wind out of her, and she slid down onto her bottom.

"Miss, please!" The remaining soldier coaxed, also trying to pull her away.

"YOU KILLED HIM! IT'S YOUR FAULT!" She bellowed, attacking Squall with everything she had. He didn't raise a hand to defend himself. Her words were bullets and knives, but they were the utter truth. He _did_ kill Seifer. If he hadn't called Seifer for help, he would still be here. Seifer wouldn't have died for him. He could feel heat welling in him - that pain he couldn't let himself feel. But, it was cracking at the protective ice inside him, and he felt tears starting to stab at the back of his eyes.

"Fujin, stop!" Raijin said, getting his arms around his raging friend. "STOP!" He shouted in her face, finally yanking her away from Squall.

"HE DIED BECAUSE OF YOU!" Fujin shouted at the top of her lungs, slashing at Raijin with her nails, trying to get through him so she could assault Squall once more.

Raijin shoved her off him as hard as he could, sending Fujin sprawling down the hall. The soldier then was on top of her, trying to restrain her as she screamed obscenities at Squall.

"You okay, ya know?!" He asked gently of Rinoa, offering her a hand up.

"Yes," she murmured, rubbing her forehead. She accepted Raijin's grasp, and was lifted up as if she were a toy. Her hand fit easily into his much bigger one, her skin snowy white compared to the dark reddish tone of his. "Don't worry about me," she assured him bravely.

Raijin nodded and then looked at Squall, but didn't apologize for Fujin's behaviour. Though he didn't scream and rant, Squall could see the accusation there, too. That Raijin blamed him as well. The big, burly man turned his back on them, and went to help the guard get control of Fujin.

"Squall?!" A voice called from down the hallway. It was echoed by a lighter, breathier voice. Edea.

"Dad...?" Squall murmured, another crack forming inside him. The sound of Laguna's voice made his lower lip tremble for a brief moment before he could control it.

"SQUALL!" Laguna called, coming into view. He was running, and when he saw his child, tears filled his aquamarine eyes. He pushed past Raijin and the guard and went straight to Squall, holding him as tight as he could. Squall was stiff in the embrace like he usually was in hugs. But, this time he really wanted to hug Laguna back. He wanted to be held by his father _so much_ at that moment, but he couldn't let himself. He couldn't let himself feel the relief of Laguna's embrace, where he felt so safe and knew that Laguna didn't hate him for the way he'd behaved last time they were together. If he allowed himself that, he would have to let out his grief. And, he couldn't. _He couldn't._ He knew that if he let himself feel all that horror that was festering in a tiny little ball within him, pressed down by layers of emotional ice, it would kill him. Having to mourn Seifer was something he wasn't capable of handling.

Laguna pulled away only enough so he could cup Squall's face in his hands - so much like Raine's. Except for that horrible blank look in his eyes. He looked at Quistis, who was now allowing Rinoa to help her, but was visibly unhappy with the other woman. And, he looked at the moogle who was looking back at him.

"Where did you come from, little guy?" He asked in wonder. The moogle's pure white fur was marred by smeared drops of blood. Quistis and Squall were also covered in blood, old and new.

"Squall, where's Seifer?" Edea asked. However, the strained tone of her voice told she already knew the answer.

Squall took a large step back from Laguna, and looked at the floor with his arms crossed protectively over his chest. However, Laguna had seen the brief flash of emotion in Squall's eyes before they'd turned away. Squall's mouth opened like he was trying to answer, but couldn't. Not in front of Matron. How could he say it? It would make it true. It would make it real.

"Dead," Quistis muttered bitterly, warring with the desire to break down and cry. "They killed him. Our so-called friends killed him." She slapped Rinoa's hands away and stood under her own power.

Laguna pursed his lips, but his eyes never wavered from Squall's face. "You're hurt..." He murmured, reaching out to hug Squall again.

"It's nothing."

"It's not nothing," Laguna protested. "Tiernan's here, and he'll have a look at your injuries." He stroked a few locks of dirty, bloodstained hair off Squall's forehead.

Squall craned away, the world growing more distant to him with each passing minute. Laguna and Quistis's voices were just white noise. "Unless Tiernan can raise the dead, there's nothing he can do to fix me."

----

After Tiernan had tended to her injuries, Quistis had been given a very nice room to rest in. It must have been for senior officers or diplomatic guests. There was a nurse on call to come and check up on her concussion, but for now, she was alone. It felt weird. She'd been with Squall and Seifer constantly for the past two months. Two months... Had it really been that long? She wanted Squall with her desperately right now, but he was slipping away from even her. He'd wandered off somewhere to be alone. _Will you let yourself mourn if you are alone?_ She asked him internally.

As she stripped off her dirty, ruined clothes, she knew that he wouldn't. He was terrified of what he would feel. Maybe Quistis was, too. She was trying to hold it together and be strong for Squall's sake. If he saw her break down, it might send him over the edge. Everything in her, physical and emotional, ached. It _ached_. Seifer was gone. Splatters of his blood were still on her skin. Nida was the one who'd shot him down. He'd sided himself with Quistis's former best friend. A woman she'd loved like her own sister. A woman who was now hunting them like dogs, who'd turned the entire world against them, who'd actually raised compatibility with Eden just to hold onto whatever dreams of power she had. With Eden! She'd allied herself with a monster, and in doing so, become one herself.

Quistis slowly shuffled naked into the bathroom, sitting on the edge of the tub while she started to run a bath. She'd junctioned Eden briefly when they'd first discovered the GF under Esthar's floating research island. She could still remember the feeling of junctioning Eden. A distant sick feeling, like she'd swallowed drain cleaner or rat poison. Like she'd eaten glass, and had just the briefest peek of Hell. Voices gently whispering in her ear that sounded musical on the surface, but had the undercurrent of off-key violas and rusty razor blades pulled across violin strings - screeching and bone-chilling. And, all this had only been after a few days, not to mention at zero compatibility, and sharing herself among other GF, including her faithful demon, whose high compatibility had acted like a protective shield.

Diablos had warned her of what Eden was doing to her body, how it was polluting her. When she'd shared this information with the others, they'd agreed to not junction Eden at all until more research could be done. And, after they'd found out about Esthar's studies into long-term junction of their abomination... well, there was no way any of them would have let themselves near Eden again. In the texts of the obscure religion of Christianity, they talked of a Garden of Eden, a paradise. It seemed poetic that Garden students should possess such a being, but this Garden had more been like a center for unearthly hell.

And, now Xu was willingly binding herself. Quistis was _sure_, even without physical proof. What had become of her? Quistis sighed sadly and got under the hard stream of water. She turned the water hotter when she still felt cold. She worried about Xu's mental safety, even now. Even when she had no more cause to care. The stream made her cuts and bruises sting, but she didn't feel it. What were a few cuts and bruises compared to real pain? The pain of betrayal. _Gods, Nida... what have you done? WHY?_ She pounded the tiled shower wall with a fist she didn't even realize she'd clenched. "Why did you kill him?!" She shouted, voice echoing in the cramped, wet space. She started crying, still slamming the tiles with her fists. The sobs let out all her pain and anger, shudders consuming her entire body. "I loved you!" She shouted, not knowing who she meant anymore. So many that she'd loved had turned their backs on her. Xu. Nida. Selphie. Zell. Rinoa. Even Seifer. He'd left her. He'd left _them_. "Seifer..." She moaned. "What should I do?" She couldn't see through the tears, and the skin on her knuckles was split open, the water swirling around her feet tinted pink from blood. Mingling with the blood that had been on her skin. Seifer's blood...

The painful sobs turned into a long scream of agony. She'd never expected that she could make such a noise, something so inhuman and horrible. It burned her throat and lungs, but it wouldn't stop coming out. The sound bounced off the shower tiles and rang in her ears. She screamed and screamed, falling to her knees with the water pounding her back, fists still meekly punching the walls. She sobbed and screamed and tried to gasp for air, forehead now pressed against the blood smeared tiles.

She felt warm arms come around her from behind, holding her tightly against now-wet clothing. Small, delicate hands covered her bloody fists and pulled them away from the tiles, a soothing voice whispering into her wet hair. "I've got you," the voice assured. "I've got you."

Quistis moaned and sobbed, the water raining down on her and Rinoa, who'd heard Quistis's screams from out in the hallway just outside her room. She'd been pacing in the hall, trying to practice an apology, something she could say that would start to repair the relationship she'd broken. Now, apologies and regret weren't important. What was important was just being there with her, holding Quistis in her arms. She'd pulled back the shower curtain so hard that some of the rings had torn through the vinyl sheet, and had gotten in under the hot stream of water, clothes and boots and all, and held Quistis's naked, bruised body tightly against her own. "I've got you," she repeated. She never said 'it's okay' or 'you're safe', because neither were true.

Quistis struggled and warred against the embrace, still trying to punch whatever her fists could come in contact with. She moaned and sobbed and cursed against Rinoa's warm, nearly parental touch. She cursed a world that would take her friends, her reputation, her _everything _from her, and leave her like a weeping, raw wound. A world that could take Seifer away from her and Squall.

---

"Squall, maybe you should have Tiernan give you something... just to help you rest." Laguna was sitting on the edge of a table in the guards' watch room, open magazines and a deck of cards strewn about amongst empty paper coffee cups and crumpled cellophane wrappers from cigarette packs. He wanted nothing more than to reach out and collect his son against his chest and hold him the way he'd wanted to all during the childhood that he'd been absent for. But, he didn't. Squall had already lashed out at him for it, and his body language was even more unapproachable now. His shoulders were hunched so far forward that he looked like a folded piece of paper. And, he also wasn't letting go of Hyperion. Laguna thought Squall might have actually used it when Ellone tried to pull it out of his iron grasp.

"Or, at least eat something!" Ellone urged. She was standing a little closer to her adoptive brother, but still didn't touch him. Even Serino was leaving him alone, instead sitting on the table beside Laguna, staring at Squall sadly. Even with all these strange and new humans and their equally strange and new surroundings, his heart couldn't muster curiosity. But, he did see that Squall's father and sister loved him, and he loved them back, but couldn't let himself find sanctuary in their presence. He was terrified of letting any emotion in. His aura was all steel and brick and invincible shields. He couldn't let their love in, because he'd have to let in the grief, the guilt, rage and sorrow. And, he was terrified of it all. Terrified to let himself come to know a world without Seifer, because that knowledge might not kill him, but it could possibly bring him back as something other than Squall. Just in looking at Squall now, Serino was learning the true frailty and complexity and confusion of human emotions.

Squall stared out the window, looking down at the steps leading up to the main doors. He looked down at Shiva, who was looking back up at him. She couldn't come into the building with him because of the magical shields, so she and the other GF were waiting outside like soldiers. They'd shrunk into human guises because it nearly completely hid their gargantuan magical auras. Squall had seen his GF in a human disguise before, and normally she had cinnamon coloured skin and dark, lipid eyes that were more black than brown, but now she was parchment white, paler than even his own skin. Her eyes were drained of colour, and she almost looked like an albino. Even in this human mask, the strain of Squall's emotion through their deep connection was showing on her. She didn't look out towards the horizons like the other fake humans. She only had eyes for her suffering master.

Rinoa had been correct, Squall noted, that Diablos would find his way back. Diablos's human form was that of a painfully lovely, willowy man with long, silken black hair tucked behind elf-like, pointed ears, always wearing extremely old-fashioned clothing. Lots of crushed velvet coats, buckled boots and lace cuffs and cravats and looking very much like how people thought a faerie should look. He stood next to a man that Squall figured must have been Alexander. Parts of Alexander's flesh winked in the blue light that came from nearly everywhere in Esthar. Places where the robotic machinery showed through his fake flesh. His hair was pure, virgin white and curled down over his shoulders. He and Diablos stood shoulder-to-shoulder, looking out over the horizon, watching for any intruders - human or magical.

But, Squall wasn't paying them mind. He wasn't even paying much attention to Shiva. He was looking at Bahamut. The only GF that hadn't switched to human form. He'd shrunk himself down until he was the size of a wolf or large dog, but he was still a slate blue dragon, sitting away from the others and perched on the low roof over the parking garage area of the main building. He looked out to the horizon, but not for possible Garden hounds. He was looking for the same thing that Squall was. Was Bahamut also expecting that Seifer would somehow saunter across the parched plains, a typical Seifer grin on his face, mildly offended that they didn't believe he was perfectly fine? He'd impatiently ask for Hyperion back, and Squall would have to pull that typical romance novel thing where he'd punch Seifer's lights out, then collapse into his arms. Was Bahamut also hoping for the impossible?

Squall could hear Laguna, Serino and Ellone's voices, but not what they were saying. They were white noise. They were on another planet. He didn't want to hear any voices. Not even Quisty. How could he look into Quistis's eyes, knowing that he was the reason Seifer was dead? How could he face her? His attention was caught by a snarl from Bahamut, loud enough that he could hear it even in the guards' room. The dragon flew towards a lonely figure walking towards the buildings. A man with a long and graceful stride, with a shadow that seemed to stretch on forever.

It was the shadow that tore Squall from the window. He pushed the door open with enough force that it slammed against the wall and rattled the window in it. The shadow with a flowing cape of night and proud horns. Squall took the cement stairs two and even three at a time. He flung himself out into the bright orange light of the setting sun, not diminished even by Esthar's mighty glow. "Move," he commanded Shiva when she tried to prevent him from coming outside. He drew Hyperion at the same moment that he pulled Lionheart off his back, so he wielded a gunblade in each hand.

"But, Squall..." She trailed off, nearly transparent because of Squall's sorrow. She wanted to protect him so desperately, but couldn't defy a direct order. Squall then pushed past Diablos and Alexander's human guises, and started running towards Odin, in his human form of Ivan Blackmoon. As he got closer, he could taste fire on his tongue, licking at the cold shield within. Hatred, tasting like bile and blackness. He rushed towards Odin, hate making the orange sunset red.

"Where is he?!" Squall demanded, slashing at him with Hyperion, then with his own faithful weapon. Bahamut had landed just out of Odin's reach, glowering hatefully at his human disguise.

"WHERE IS HE?!" Squall shouted again in Ivan's face. Lionheart's blade made a loud metal-on-metal squeal against Ivan's chest where there should have just been a lightweight wool sweater. The gunblades were flung out of his hands by invisible magic, landing gently on the ground and Squall's feet.

Hatred for Odin surged in Squall, and he lashed out with fists. His clenched knuckles contacted against Ivan's cheek, and he was attacking the ancient king like some wild banshee. He punched and clawed at Ivan's chest and face, but was only injuring himself. While it looked like he was punching a face and a chest, he was really punching unforgiving metal armour, and the impenetrable wall of Odin's staggering power. "WHERE'S SEIFER?!" He screamed in Ivan's face. Saying Seifer's name burned Squall's throat. Cold hands encircled his arms, like metal left out in a blizzard, trying to still his attacks, which were doing a lot of damage to the human, and none to the Guardian Force.

Odin looked into Squall's eyes, starting to shine with the rise of his suppressed emotions. "Gone. I can no longer feel him," He murmured, face showing regret at having to say that. Having to say that to Squall, the man who Seifer had such depths of love for. That man who now looked as dead as any Forbidden.

"Bring him back," Squall commanded, that emotion falling deep down into the chasms of his soul. The command was hollow, empty, pleading. Desperate.

"I cannot."

"You swore to protect him when he needed you!" Squall raged, trying to struggle in Odin's grasp.

"He chose this!" Odin stated, emotion rising into his voice. "He willingly chose to shield you with his life. Who was I to interfere with that?" His ancient, all-knowing voice cracked on the last few words.

"Bring him back!" Squall demanded again, slumping in Odin's arms as the weight of his emotions tried to engulf him. As they started to rise, Shiva became more stable and solid. The weight of Squall's emotions left her when they tried to flood within him. He willed the rage and sorrow and grief and love back behind the steel doors within his mind, heart and soul. He slammed them shut. He locked them with steel chains. He electrified their surfaces and froze them over.

"If you hurt him, I'll destroy you," Bahamut threatened to Odin. Being so close to the surviving child of La Draconia, Bahamut had felt all Seifer's feelings for Squall like an echo. Like he'd felt them once before, long ago. It was his duty now to protect his temporary master, and the most precious thing in the world to Dinara's child.

Ivan's hands suddenly constricted around Squall's arms so tightly that the brown-haired man let out a gasp. Gravely chill moved through him and made his hands numb. Odin was such a powerful GF that he didn't ever have anyone as a sole master. He came to whoever he thought was worthy of his aid. This massive power, even compared to Bahamut, made him the first to feel the _blackness_ that was approaching like a tidal wave. His hands released Squall, and one arm came around the human's body, pressing him close into Ivan's side like a lover. No heat came from him, and Squall felt chilled with so much of his body pressed against Ivan's. Odin's famous sword suddenly appeared out of nothing, and he half-faced whatever he was feeling, while still trying to shield Squall's body with his own. Squall could only stand there like a child, knowing that he hated Odin fiercely, but not being able to _feel_ it. He also couldn't feel what suddenly had him so spooked.

"Don't transform," Odin commanded of the other GF. His voice was metallic and echoing, inhuman coming from a human mouth. They could now all feel the wave of ugly magic, even Squall. It roiled like snakes, and choked like smoke. It became visible, and swirled together like a vortex to create the form of a human being.

The human was completely androgynous. It could have been a woman or a once-pretty man. The thin body was draped in swirling shadows that hugged him/her like cloth. The face was a macabre work of self-mutilating art. Burns and sigils carved and seared into all visible flesh. Winding knife wounds, thin and thick, neat and jagged. Old and seeping new. A metallic, horrendous crown that resembled small and child-like hands reaching for the sky was drilled into the bald forehead and temples of this wicked looking creature, cut-up mouth grinning madly, revealing not teeth, but carpenter's nails. It's breath was a death rattle that shook the ground like an earthquake. Its eyes bled into pure, evil red that was rimmed in black flesh. Its face actually somewhat resembled Adel's. As the _thing_ stepped closer to Odin and Squall, dead and rotting flowers sprang up from the ground. They smelled strongly, but not of sweet roses or honeysuckle. They smelled of death and fresh sewage.

"Holy shit," Laguna breathed. He was being barred from going outside to Squall by the soldiers, and especially by Kiros and Edea. Even though the strong and foolproof Estharian barriers were between them, Edea could still feel this creature's power, clawing at her from within. "Let me go to him!" Laguna moaned to his best and oldest friend. He'd left Ward in control of the city proper. Normally, it would have been Kiros, but Laguna needed him here. He needed Kiros to help him, to be beside him just like he always was. He needed him to be rational and do the right, and usually hard, thing. Like he was doing right now.

"No," Kiros said firmly, blocking his much shorter friend with his lithe body. He cared for Squall as if he were family, but his top priority, aside from Tiernan, would always be Laguna and his safety. "You can't do anything against something like _that._"

"It feels like Adel..." Edea hissed, lowering herself to the floor.

In Quistis's rooms, where she and Rinoa were out of the shower, and the young novice was dabbing Quistis's bloodied hands with a towel, she felt it too. Smelled the heinous stench. It burned her chest and she let out a wail, eyes seeing only blackness instead of Quistis's surprised face. She wasn't strong enough yet to sustain herself against this kind of power, so it overcame her like a riptide. She could hear Quistis mutely calling her name, trying to catch her as she slipped off the edge of the tub towards the floor. She felt very large, strong and warm hands catching her, saying it was going to be okay. But, how could it be? How could anything that felt like this be okay...?

Outside, so close to the power with no barriers between them, Squall was fighting to stay conscious. He'd had to swallow vomit several times, and he couldn't feel his legs. The creature paced slowly back and forth, like it was in some invisible cage and couldn't come any farther.

"It cannot cross into Esthar's official borders," Odin murmured, blade still trained calmly on the thing.

"Someone has actually junctioned it?" Shiva asked, horrified.

The shadowy matter that flapped and coiled around Eden's false human body seemed to become nothing, and then something that actually resembled... "A SeeD uniform..." Squall breathed out. He immediately wished he'd kept his mouth shut. Parting his lips allowed that stench to enter his mouth and coat his throat. He could taste it, mingling with the burn of his own bile.

His voice caused the searchlight of its burning eyes to rest on him, bathing him in the ugliness of the creature's glare. The scarred, almost sucker-like mouth parted in a slash of a grin, carpenter's nails teeth glinting. Blackened spittle stretched between the nails like spider webs. It felt like having Adel's eyes on him again. It felt like Xu. It felt like judgement.

The mouth opened wider and wider, eyes still staring unblinkingly at Squall. A rotten looking tongue pulsated within the nails, licking across them in a lurid, perverted gesture. The mouth was now so wide that it looked like the thing's jaw had been disconnected, and something like a death rattle came out. It rolled through the ground like a nightmarish aftershock. What followed behind made Squall's blood run cold. Screaming. Pained, tortured screaming, echoing and layering and growing louder. Screaming. Screaming... screaming...

__

He's calling for you.

Screaming.

__

He's saying goodbye to you.

His

screaming. Seifer. And he was screaming. The kind of screams that no longer sounded human. Screams of so much pain that it went beyond something that word could even describe.

"It is a trick," Alexander cautioned when Bahamut let out a great, furious bellow.

Squall slammed his eyes shut, the echo of Seifer's screams ringing in his head, judging him and cursing him and blaming him. He was suddenly let go, and couldn't keep himself upright without Odin holding him, so he started to slip to the ground before Diablos rushed forward, and caught him. Diablos's touch was much warmer than Odin's, but it was nothing compared to the horrid chill coming from Eden's aura.

"Don't listen to it," Diablos whispered in Squall's ear. Things had gone black and foggy, so Squall couldn't see. He could smell something sweet and exotic coming from Diablos, just like the soothing scent that came from Serino's fur. "Seifer..." He moaned under his breath, feeling wings beating against him as Diablos became bats. A large magical wave erupted all around them, the brunt of it blocked by the bats. Squall still felt like he'd gotten kicked it the gut, but the screaming stopped. It echoed in his ears, but the source was extinguished. When the bats were gone and he was being shielded by a human-looking Diablos, Squall saw the monster was gone. Odin's blade dripped with foamy black shadows that rose to the skies as if it was steam.

"That may not have been prudent," Alexander suggested logically. His tone was neither accusatory nor respectful. Machines weren't capable of properly showing those emotions. "It's master would have been seeing through its eyes, and now knows this location."

Ivan didn't lower Zantetsuken until all the shadowy residue was gone. He did so slowly, as if striking against Eden had injured him. "It doesn't matter. It was merely a taunt, scare tactics. If Eden can't come any closer to Esthar proper than this, then no Garden force could hope to send any covert magical attack." His voice was strained, and it made rage well in Squall again. He yanked himself out of Diablos's hands and lunged for Ivan again, fingers clawed to wrap around his throat.

"You don't have any right to mourn him!" Squall shouted. He was shoved away by Diablos, who'd once again become bats. "Not when you could have saved him!" He shouted over the screech of the winged animals. _I should have saved him,_ Squall's inner voice reminded him even as he shouted at Ivan. _I was the one who called for his help. I was the one who put him in danger. I don't have the right to mourn him. I killed him._

The magical energy, compounded with his guilt and exhausting, began to finally weigh down on Squall too heavily for him to stand under. The only reason he didn't collapse was because of Diablos's human arms around him, and the sweet smell of otherworldly flowers and fruits.

"We should get him inside," Shiva murmured, gently touching the top of her master's head.

"You should fully disjunction," Diablos said to her, glittering indigo eyes narrowed.

"No," she said firmly. Even with a magical barrier between them, when a GF and a human had full compatibility, they could share a metaphysical, spiritual connection, and often kept this even when separated by thousands of miles, or even by dimensions. It wasn't harmful to the human, and it was a way to stay close to one that a GF cared deeply for. But, this connection _could_ be harmful to a GF, at least temporarily. Squall's repression was weakening Shiva magically, but she didn't care. She wanted to take this pain for him. She wanted to stay with him.

"Are you not coming, Odin?" Alexander asked.

"No." Ivan started to walk west.

"Coward..." Squall hissed, trying to weakly struggle against Diablos's grip, so very iron strong compared to the litheness of his body.

Ivan's step didn't falter as he crossed the threshold that kept Eden out, and vanished just as it had.

"You can no longer stand!" Shiva exclaimed. "You need to get back inside."

Squall tried again to struggle out of Diablos's grasp, but his body wouldn't cooperate with his rage. He could still hear the echo of those screams in his head. Was it really a trick...? It sounded _so real._

"What happened to him?!" Laguna demanded to Diablos across the magical barrier. Kiros came out to take Squall from him, still not allowing Laguna to set even a toe outside the protective shield.

"He's just exhausted. And, humans aren't meant to be so close to that much... magic." Diablos was hesitant about even using that word. What Eden was wasn't 'magic'.

Squall was still trying to feebly struggle, but he didn't even know what he was railing against anymore. Voices and touches were like someone else was experiencing them. Things slowly rolled past him, and he realized that somehow he'd wound up in a wheelchair. A hand was stroking through his hair, and people were probably saying things like 'it'll be okay' and 'you need rest, and things will be fine'. It wasn't fine. How could it be fine when Seifer didn't exist in his world anymore? How could it be fine when he'd killed the man he loved, just as if he'd pulled the trigger himself. He was just as guilty as Nida, Astor, Luchia or Xu.

His vision suddenly changed as he was lifted onto a bed, and was now staring up at a too-white ceiling. A man leaned over him, and a smile broke across Squall's parched lips. "Seifer..." He whispered to the tall blonde man bowed over him. He reached out and covered Seifer's hand with his own. Squall was so cold, and Seifer felt so warm... Seifer's mouth was moving, telling him something, opening to form words that started as white noise but became the same horrible screams that had come from Eden's maw. Squall made a small noise of distress and tried to get up, but his body had become lead.

"It's okay. I just gave you something to help you sleep," Tiernan whispered, but all Squall heard were the screams. He didn't try to correct Squall about thinking he was Seifer Almasy. Squall needed that comfort right now.

Squall's vision started to dim as the sleeping drug moved through his veins. "No..." He begged as Seifer's face began to disappear in this fog. "Don't go..."

"Can you do anything for him, Tiernan?" Laguna asked, stroking Squall's sweaty hair. The lines and tension in his face started to slowly loosen, until he wore the expressionless mask of deep sleep. Serino flew into the room and landed on the bed. He curled up against Squall's hip like a house cat.

"No," Tiernan admitted sadly. Kiros's hands were a strong, comforting weight on his shoulders. "I'm not a psychiatrist. Nothing I know how to do could help." He tore open a sterile pack of needles, and pricked into a vein on the back of Squall's hand, then began to hook it up to an IV, filled with nutrients.

"What was that thing?" Laguna asked. Edea had come into the infirmary as well, but under her own power.

"It felt like... Adel..." Edea rubbed her chest, and sat on one of the beds. They were all empty aside from Squall's.

"It was Eden," Quistis's voice answered from the doorway. She had her hands wrapped in towels, blood seeping through them.

"Eden?" Laguna echoed. "That GF thing they made under Battleship Island?"

"Yes. Eden's creation probably paved the way for many of Adel's magical experiments on herself."

"What happened?" Tiernan asked, ushering Quistis to one of the beds.

She didn't answer, but looking into her tight, sorrowful eyes gave the doctor his answer.

"Mrs. Kramer, can you help Rinoa, ya know?!" Raijin asked, also coming in. He was carrying a still-damp Rinoa in his arms. She was sweating profusely and looked kind of green, but she was awake. Raijin's room was the one next to Quistis, and he'd come back from another section of the compound to hear Rinoa's scream.

Edea sat up, but she was too shaky to stand, so Raijin put Rinoa on the same bed. She put her hands on either side of Rinoa's face and looked deep into her glassy eyes. "She's still not sure enough of her magic to hold shields up against something such as Eden. She'll just need some rest, but I'll give her a magical charge for a boost of energy."

"Mm'okay..." Rinoa mumbled.

"Hush, dear." Still touching Rinoa's face, Edea channelled a bit of her own magic into Rinoa's body. Raijin watched in fascination. He'd never seen Sorceresses sharing power before. The glassy look sucked out of Rinoa's eyes, and while she still looked wiped, she was otherwise okay.

"Thanks..." Rinoa trailed off, gnawing her lower lip. "I thought it was agreed that nobody was going to junction Eden anymore?" Rinoa questioned, running her hand through her wet hair. She looked over her shoulder at Quistis in concern.

"Xu's done so much already, what's a little more rule breaking? What does it matter if she rips apart her own soul for a little more power?" She asked dully, staring right through Tiernan as he gave her knuckles a few stitches.

"But... Eden..." Rinoa shivered. "I didn't think she'd go that far."

"I never thought she'd do any of this," whispered Quistis.

"Do you want me to... stay with you...?" Rinoa asked of the other young woman.

"No."

"You should rest. I know I will be," Edea instructed.

"All right."

"I'll go with you, just to make sure you don't collapse," Raijin offered gallantly.

"Okay," she accepted glumly. Quistis heard Rinoa say something to her in parting, but she didn't care. She just stared into nothing while Tiernan finished bandaging her up. He asked if she wanted something to help her sleep, and she just grunted as he pressed the pills into her palm. Maybe Edea or Laguna said something too, but she didn't care. She sat there, alone and silent, for a long time. Enough time for the room to get pretty dark. Out here, the lights of Esthar weren't as imposing, so dark actually meant dark.

Slowly, she stood up and shuffled over to the only other occupied bed. She could hear footsteps out in the hallway. Those kind of quiet footsteps one always hears in hospitals. Like they're trying to be respectful, even though the people they were trying to respect just wanted them to go away. Their footsteps sounded like pity. It made Quistis feel alone. She slowly crawled onto the bed beside Squall, gingerly moving the IV tube out of the way so she wouldn't lay on it. It felt like they hadn't arrived in Esthar at all, and they were still in Centra, completely removed from society.

__

Except that Seifer was there with us. You still had life in your eyes then. I still felt like my chest was in one piece. Nida hadn't stolen him away from us.

I'm sure your mother would have been so proud of you. Just like we are.

As Quistis's mind swirled and churned, she curled herself up against Squall's side, holding onto his waist like he was her old stuffed octopus, Mr. Ultros. She suddenly really missed the ratty old thing. He came from a life that was so long ago. She stretched her fingers across Squall's thin waist to curl them into Serino's warm and impossibly soft fur. She unfurled the other hand, and looked down at the sleeping powder capsules in her palm. She wished that they could go back in time even only a couple of days. Staying in the Almaj Mountains would have been just dandy compared to this. _We could have learned all about moogles. We could have gone with Serino while he journeyed to find a mate. We could have gone to the Centra Ruins and hung out with the tonberrys. Seifer would have taught us everything. He could have stayed with dragons and learned about his mother._ She popped the pills in her mouth and rubbed her cheek back and forth against Squall's chest, feeling his slow and steady heartbeat. The pills were the only thing that gave him that superficial façade of relaxation.

As Quistis let the blissful blackness grab her and pull her under to drown, the Abadan Plains were cloaked in that same dark. The monsters and animals out there could still roam free under a velvet blanket of stars. They could hunt, mate and exist far away from humans. But, one lone human was out amongst them. In the distance, the cries of a Behemoth in heat echoed through the ground. The man wearing an Estharian army uniform could feel it in his boots. He looked at a small device in his hand which was checking environmental magic energies and signatures. The ugly blackness had drawn him from a different assignment. He'd just _had_ to come check what was churning out such power. Such familiar feeling power! Hours had passed, and the ghostly signature still held, mingling with the colder aura that Odin left behind. It was rare to see two such powerful entities so close together, and in human disguise to boot!

When the aura finally died away and all the air data had been collected, the man pulled out a pocket computer, and started uploading the data to his boss. As the small taskbar showed him the percentage of upload, he called one of the very few numbers programmed into it. It was answered after one ring, and there was no greeting because the recipient of the data had caller ID.

"How long is this sample for?" Asked his gravely, resonant voice, crisp and clear in the soldier's ear.

"Nearly four hours. And, that was when they were dampening their powers by disguising as humans. I couldn't photograph it, sadly." Magical beings didn't photograph well. The picture was just been a smear of colour and shadow, especially with all those GF all in one place. The human was the only clear thing in it. Though the picture itself was worthless for magical study, the scout sent it along anyway. "There is a human there, though. Laguna Loire's son, Squall Leonhart."

A pause on the other end. "I can see that, Byron," he snapped irritably.

Byron cringed and bowed to one leg in apology, even though his master couldn't see him. "My Lord, there is one other thing a... most interesting thing."

"Oh?" Byron's Lord's voice was bored, as if he expected a moronic answer.

"Bahamut was there. Protecting Loire's son."

"Bahamut...?" Hesitation came to his voice. "Well, yes. Of course. It was mentioned in the papers about that party of SeeD children finding Esthar's research island."

"No, My Lord. Bahamut wasn't acting as a summon. He was disjunctioned. Under his own power."

Silence.

After a painful three minutes of nothing, Byron asked "My Lord?"

"Who said you could talk?"

"Forgive me!" Byron whispered, falling into a one-legged bow again.

"Bahamut..." Byron's master whispered, almost reverently. "Keep an eye on that area, Byron. I will study this data. Don't call again unless it's an emergency."

"Of course, M--" Byron couldn't finish because his master had hung up on him. Even this far away from him and with an Estharian faceplate covering him, he didn't roll his eyes or stifle a groan. As if he though he'd be seen. Out of being trained with a yoke of fear. And, though it was quite cold and it sounded like two male Behemoths were fighting over a female, he didn't dare move. Not when he'd been ordered to stay.

---

"Good morning."

Seifer's head snapped up. He'd been floating in and out of horrible, painful consciousness. Xu was standing in front of him with a tight-lipped smile on her face. Seifer tried to lunge at her, even though his body just wasn't ready to be functional yet. Phoenix Down wasn't exactly the sweet and serene experience that people liked to believe it was. Maybe even Seifer once thought it would have been less like hell in soft feather form. He was tied naked from the ceiling, feet dangling in a trough of ice cold water. They'd thrown equally cold water in his face again and again to wake him up.

"You seem more lucid. It's unfortunate how slow Phoenix Down takes to work. I want you more aware than this. But, they can start slow." Luchia and Astor were standing beside their boss. Luchia was just as grave and stone-faced as usual, but there was an eager light in Astor's eyes that Seifer had never seen before.

With each passing second, Seifer became more aware of things. For him to be this sluggish after a Phoenix Down, he must have actually briefly died. Or, maybe not so briefly... His first real thought was of Squall and Quistis. Were they okay? Did they make it to Esthar? Had Irvine really betrayed them?

"I see on your face what you're thinking of."

Seifer looked down at her, vision starting to clear. He noticed how... sick Xu looked. She was all sweaty and her eyes were glassy and feverish. Like she was suffering from the flu. "Not feeling so hot?" He asked cheerfully, despite the fact that he was freezing, and his back was killing him. The bullet wounds burned like stars, though they were surprisingly clean and non-fatal. Seifer found it easy to smile and look down into Xu's strangely glittering eyes. He would have to be completely stupid to not be scared, knowing what was coming. But, compared to Ultimecia? They weren't nearly as frightening. The smile faltered a little when he saw a flash of red in her dark irises. He knew how SeeD tortured people, so knew this room would allow magic, though just outside the door would be thick with wards. "What have you been doing, you naughty girl?" Seifer whispered, still jovial but inside his stomach was starting to curl. She'd been doing something very improper magic-wise, and it was affecting her physical appearance.

"Where are they?" She asked, looking at him with pure hatred.

Seifer gave a bitter laugh. His eyes flickered only briefly to Luchia when she started to move towards him. She went behind him. He really, really wanted to look over his shoulder to see what she was doing back there, but didn't take his eyes off Xu's flushed face. The throbbing heat of the bullet holes became searing agony as Luchia roughly probed one with her fingers, poking around and digging out the bullet. Seifer groaned and hissed, but didn't scream. He heard the metallic plink of the bullet hitting the cement floor. "Let's just stop the foolishness. You know I'll never tell you where they are," he panted.

"No. I know that. I could have just left you to die, but why would I deny Astor the joy of killing you slowly?" She gestured for Luchia, and both women left, leaving Seifer alone with Astor.

"Do you wish to know why I'm so eager to hurt you?" Astor asked blandly.

"If I ask really nice, will you tell me?" Seifer snarked back. "'Cause I just can't stand the suspense."

"I transferred to Balamb from Trabia."

"Oh." Seifer's sarcasm vanished away. He figured that he might actually deserve some of what was coming, then.

"Just like your little orphanage friend, Selphie. We ran in different circles, though Selphie was friends with my girlfriend. That is, before you murdered her." The inflection in Astor's voice didn't change, even when he was revealing such personal, painful information. He may as well have been reading a grocery list. "And, please don't try to fob the blame off on some time-travelling Witch."

"I wasn't going to," was the sober reply.

"Of course, I'm going to hurt you. I'm going to destroy you as you destroyed me. But, I also have other debts to pay. I also have to take that which you love most."

Seifer's eyes narrowed, and a whisper of a smile floated across Astor's mouth.

"I still don't know why he forgave you for torturing him at the D-District Prison. I suppose you'll find out if you can be so generous with me. But, Squall _did_ forgive you. And, I want to make a promise to you right here and now, while you're still perfectly lucid." Astor reached behind him, where Luchia's electrified staff had been leaning against the wall. He put on a pair of rubber gloves to protect from any electrical current. He switched it on, and jabbed it into Seifer's stomach. Seifer's breath left him in a loud grunt, voltage painfully shooting through his entire body. He didn't want to scream, and he warred with the instinct, but he couldn't help it. It fucking hurt. He screamed, but Astor showed no pleasure in the noise. When the staff was pulled away, and Seifer's body was still jerking from the electricity, intensified by the water he was standing in, and that was beaded on his cold skin, he wondered how Squall _had_ forgiven him. He didn't believe that he deserved Squall's forgiveness for it, because he sure wasn't feeling very fucking charitable towards Astor right now.

"Now, that promise." Astor slowly cranked up the voltage on the staff. "I will take Squall from you, Seifer. I _will_ hurt him. I'm not into men, but Squall's pretty enough that I might be able to fake it. Knowing how much it will hurt you will be all I need to get aroused. I _promise_ you that I will violate him before I kill him. So both of you _know_ that it was _your_ fault." Now Astor's voice was starting to show flickers of emotion. The rage inside him, the hatred, the anticipation. "Do you think he'll still love you then?"

"Would your girlfriend still love you now, if she could see you?"

Astor's face went purple, his eyes glittering malevolently. "It doesn't matter anymore, right?" He snapped, pressing the star-shaped end of the staff into Seifer's stomach again. The connection point sizzled and burned, filling Seifer's nose with the smell of his own burning flesh. He tried not to scream again, but was only able to hold out for a few seconds before the animalistic noises of pain were ripped from his throat. Though he screamed and screamed, he was able to endure it, simply by thinking about Squall. Thinking of his eyes when he was trying not to show he was pleased about something, the sound of his heartbeat when he slept. His lips when he frowned, the smell of leather mingling with his cologne. The rare, throaty sound of his laughter. His flawless, milky skin. How he'd felt when Squall had finally said 'I love you'. Knowing that as long as he was being tortured, it meant that Squall was still out there somewhere, alive and safe from Xu. And, that was all that mattered.


	12. Chapter 12

****

Chapter 12

"Hi, Quistis," Raijin greeted, shuffling into a dimly lit conference room. It looked like it hadn't been used in a while. Quistis was sitting at a table, surrounded by printed documents that were spewing out of a laptop computer, connected to the Estharian government database in the Palace. For the past two days, she'd been fuelled by an emotional fire. A duty to fulfill. "Is it okay if I sit down, ya know?!"

Quistis looked up from the line she was marking with a fluorescent orange hi-lighter. "Raijin, hi. Yeah, sure." She waved to the empty chair across from her. There were dark circles under Raijin's eyes, and they were red-rimmed. His cheeks were splotchy too. He'd obviously been crying, and recently.

"You seem really... chipper." Raijin looked at a document, furrowing his brow. "Why are you looking up Trabia?" He looked at a second one. "And, Azabaashe. Hey, I know that name. Adel's Knight, right?"

"Very good!" She praised.

"Must have been one of the history classes that I actually didn't sleep through, ya know?!" He joked. Their smiles and quips were tight, frail. Mask-like and sad.

Quistis looked at him through her glasses. One of the lenses was cracked from all the harsh conditions she'd travelled through, but it didn't bother her. She was far too focused on her new task. She could tell that Raijin didn't necessarily care what she was doing. He just wanted the company. "Where's Fujin?" She asked kindly. It made Raijin think of when she'd been his teacher.

"Dunno, ya know?! We haven't really been talkin' much."

"Because of the Solar System?"

Raijin's brow furrowed. "Yeah..." He muttered. "I guess. I can't believe both her and Seifer kept it from me, ya know?! Like they thought I couldn't handle it!"

"Maybe they didn't want to admit it to you. Maybe they thought you would be disappointed, or that it was admitting defeat, somehow."

"Not for Fujin, ya know?! I'm actually not surprised that she's one of them, as horrible as that is to say, ya know?! But..." He cocked his head and looked at the blonde woman. "You think it was that way for Seifer?"

"No. He felt forced into it by Ultimecia. He wasn't happy. He didn't want that life. He said that he liked his fake life better than his real one." _I just hope he was happy in the end. That he knew that we loved him. That Squall loved him just as much as he loved Squall._

"The Solar System's not the only reason," Raijin muttered, tracing an invisible pattern on the table. "I just... I can't be with Fujin right now! She's so angry at Squall, and at the world, and I don't want to be angry. Without Seifer there, it would..." He couldn't come up with a finish for that sentence. It was too painful. He suddenly changed the subject. "You know... Rinoa asked me to tell you to come see her. Please. That was her word. Well, and mine too."

"Oh." Quistis went back to hi-lighting.

"She's sorry, ya know?!"

"I know."

"So, what...? You're never going to forgive her?"

She continued to look down at her papers, frown getting deeper and deeper. "I didn't say that," Quistis answered more waspishly than she meant to.

"Seifer would have wanted you to forgive her. Just like you forgave him after Ultimecia. Just like he forgave Squall."

Quistis had to close her eyes. Pain shot through her head, and she could feel tears coming. "Raijin... please. Not now, okay?" She asked, voice starting to wobble. "I just need a little more time."

"Sorry," said the burly man in sincere apology. "I just don't want anyone to fight anymore. It just seems so stupid and wrong."

Quistis reached across the table and patted his hand. "I'm sorry... I just... I'm worried about trusting someone right now."

"I guess I understand that, ya know?! Anyway, _why_ are you looking this stuff up?"

"I'm looking for information about a woman that was known as La Draconia."

"Never heard of her."

"No, of course not. She lived in Esthar during Adel's time."

"So... Adel, like, destroyed a lot of documents about the city, right?"

"Very good," she replied, at her former Garden Instructor best. "And, she was connected to Azabaashe, and there's far more information about him, being an Adel sympathizer and all."

"So, how do you think you'll find any information about this Ladle Cone person?"

"La Draconia," she corrected sharply.

"Whoa. You just channelled Fujin, ya know?! MORON," he impersonated, actually quite accurately. He tried to smile.

"Adel may have destroyed the records of citizenship, but there may still be information in these military archives. Even if it's just observational notes about the dragoon tribe."

"The... huh?"

Quistis opened her mouth to begin explaining when there was a gentle knock on the conference room door. "Kiros!" Quistis exclaimed. "Thanks for coming. I know you're busy."

"You're looking much better." He took both her hands in his, and squeezed them warmly. "But, your message was a little urgent. Has something happened? Do you need Laguna?"

"No, I think you're the one that can help me with this. I need some historical information."

"Ah, book smarts. Yes... I supposed you _wouldn't_ need Laguna in this case." The painfully elegant man grinned and sat in one of the free chairs. "Hello Raijin," he greeted politely, squeezing his big shoulder.

"Mm, hi..." Raijin mumbled into his chest. Kiros was so much more authoritative than Laguna that it made Raijin shy and a little nervous, how he'd always been around the sterner Garden Instructors as a kid. Kiros seemed to fit the idea of Esthar's President more than Laguna did.

"What would you like to know?"

"Do you know anything about the dragoon tribe from Trabia?"

Kiros's eyebrows arched a little in surprise. "Hmmm..." He crossed his arms, eyes glittered in thought. "Yes, some. Adel, as you know, destroyed any record of towns and tribes that she conquered. They were from a small village near the Grandidi Forest border, called..." He pondered again for some time, spinning his wedding ring around on his finger. Quistis knew from what Bahamut had said to them, but didn't want to prod Kiros's answers. If she led him, maybe he wouldn't come up with tiny yet very helpful details. She also didn't want to mention Azabaashe yet. "Wolf Haven."

Quistis's face broke into a smile that actually kind of hurt her facial muscles. Like her face was asking her why she felt she had the right to smile at a time like this. "Yes, that's right."

"This was probably during one of Adel's raids to figure out about magicks other than her Sorcery. Things like Tears Point and Battleship Island also came up around that time. It was probably about the same time that she first heard about Elle, and started to make her raids on Winhill. There were lots of little Trabian and Abadan villages that wound up being wiped off the map." Kiros's musical voice iced over when he spoke of that time period. Tiernan's village on the Abadan Plains had been one of those that was forever gone, his future husband's family among those that were deemed unworthy of Azabaashe's powers, and burned in unceremonious heaps, the rancid smoke blackening the skies for miles.

"I'm sorry to bring up bad memories, but this is important. I need to know about that tribe's leader. Does the name Dinara Von Munster ring any bells?"

"La Draconia?" Kiros asked, blinking.

"You know her?"

"Who's Dinara Von Munster?" Raijin asked.

"La Draconia. How do _you_ know about her, Quistis?"

"Did you know her?" Quistis urged again.

"Not personally," answered Kiros, eyeing her sceptically. "Just by reputation. She died before Laguna, Ward and I made it into the city to rescue Elle. Why do you ask about her? How do you even know about her? She's somewhat of an Estharian folklore, particularly with women. It's not something an outsider would know."

"Bahamut told us about her," Quistis explained. "Look... I want to know about her because she was Seifer's mother, and I want..." Her voice broke. "I want to do this for him. I want to learn about her because... well, he can't." Her eyes were wet and shining behind the cracked and dirty lenses of her glasses.

"Seifer's mother?!" Raijin exclaimed, lips parted in shock.

"And, this came up because... Bahamut and Seifer shared an unnatural compatibility, I would assume." Kiros sat back in his chair, playing with the beaded tip of one of his braids. He wasn't nearly as surprised. Someone who could cut Odin in half didn't just come from an ordinary bloodline.

"He could also... communicate, in a way, with dragons and other reptiles." It pained Quistis to be talking about Seifer in the past tense like this. "Bahamut told us a lot about her, but not exactly how she died. He only said that he lost contact with Dinara, and then he was taken to the research island. He also told us about Azabaashe, and his royalty complex. How he thought..."

"He thought the Queen of the Dragoons should be his wife, instead of a commoner. At least in his eyes. I'm far more familiar with _him_ than I am with Dinara Von Munster." He thought some more, and neither of the other two interrupted this silence. "Laguna is convinced that Azabaashe is still alive, and he won't change his mind, no matter what people try to convince him of."

"You don't sound like you think he's being paranoid, ya know?!" Raijin pointed out with a deep sense of perception that most people didn't notice he had, starting to feel a tad uneasy. Some of the stuff he remembered reading about Azabaashe was rather disturbing, and that was the watered-down school textbook version.

"Azabaashe... well, he had certain powers. Adel ordered Odine to keep it a secret. She didn't want Galbadia knowing about her Knight's secret weapon. It's not like Odine would need a command to keep strange powers a secret. He's nearly as bad as she was when it comes to research into unusual powers that borders on unethical. We only just found out about Azabaashe's powers within the last decade, actually."

"What kind of powers?" Quistis almost felt like Kiros was telling them a ghost story.

"Necromancy."

__

Whoa, brain. Ghost story is right. A little on the nose there.

Quistis and Raijin stared at Kiros in rapt fascination.

"So... could he raise himself from the dead, ya know?!" Raijin asked, blinking. He was picturing the different lore from all the zombie movies he'd seen over the course of his life.

"No. At least, I don't believe so. He couldn't heal. To cheat death would be to heal injuries, and he definitely couldn't do that. Now, I'm only really guessing since there aren't any other documented cases of necromancy that I know of, but I think his powers would be like a dim echo of Odin's. To be able to harness dead energy, to animate the dead but not truly bring them back to life. But, Adel probably only made him her Knight in the first place so she could steal his powers after she came to understand them. She was kind of known for it."

"I never used to be able to fathom how a human could do that to themselves... magical mutilation all for the sake of power? It seems so perverse. But, I guess I understand it now, because the same thing is happening to Xu." Quistis unconsciously balled her hands into angry fists, and crumpled the papers she was holding. Kiros may have said something in response, but she couldn't hear it. She could only hear her rage, pounding in her ears like surf. She pushed it down, but didn't ignore it. She wasn't like Squall that way. She didn't want to forget that she felt such hurt and disappointment and betrayal. But, she wanted to hold off on expressing those feelings until she was able to use them properly. She wanted to be patient, and release it all when she came face-to-face with Xu again.

Her internal struggle only lasted a few moments. She came back to hear Kiros had only been talking about going back to the Presidential Palace in the morning. "It looks like Garden hasn't sent in any covert agents, and we've already seen that they can't send in any magical forces as assassins, so it seems safe to travel." Kiros checked his watch, eyebrows raising at the time. "I know I wasn't much help in your questions, Quistis, but I really do have to go."

"I understand. And, you were a help. Thanks" She smiled as he left, but something was bothering her. What Kiros had said. About going back to the Presidential Palace. It filled her with some emotion that she couldn't really describe. Her body and mind were trying to tell her that it was wrong to leave. Why? Because, deep down in a part of her that was completely irrational, she hoped that Seifer was still alive. Hoped it so hard that her chest hurt. And, if they moved to Esthar, Seifer wouldn't be able to find them. If they waited here, there was a better chance he'd find them. _What the hell, girl? Get those thoughts out of your head,_ she bossed herself around. _You can't go down that road. You can't let yourself hope that Seifer's alive_, she insisted, still crumpling the paper in her fists. _Because then you'll have to mourn him all over again. It's just too much pain._

She looked at some of the information about Azabaashe, thinking about Squall. Did he also wonder if Seifer could still be alive somewhere?

----

Though Squall was further and further away from Quistis, and everyone else, on an emotional level, his thoughts did mirror his dear friend's.

He was sitting on the floor of the dark guard's room, staring out to the lonely, windswept Abadan Plains. His head was resting against the glass, slumped and defeated. He could practically taste the warmth of scotch on his tongue, and yearned for the fuzzy edges that cocaine would give all this dull pain, but there was none around here. The ransacked shelves and desks in the room were proof of his futile search for any kind of alcohol. So, he turned to a new addiction - slow death. Letting himself waste away, float in cold black space, all alone. Even Laguna, Ellone and Serino had abandoned him in his solitary, dying misery. Laguna had to go to meetings, or else he would have sat by his son, even if it pained him to see Squall wasting away.

Squall was dimly aware of Laguna's unwavering loyalty and love, and appreciated it on some robotic level. That same level that let him shower and shave and put on clean clothes. Because it was _supposed_ to be done. Done by people. Something he didn't feel like anymore. He felt like he was a speck floating alone in space again, cold and desolate. But, he wasn't really alone. He could feel cool energy in the air, and could see a translucent reflection behind him. Raine. He was slipping so far away from reality that his ability to sense spirits was getting stronger. Or, it could have been a hallucination. He didn't care which it was. His mother's reflection, kneeling behind him and smiling lovingly, gave him a warmth that even several blankets and a boiling hot shower couldn't. He didn't dare turn around to see if she was really there. It would break the illusion. She would leave him. Again.

__

Are you disappointed in me?

Raine didn't answer, of course, but he felt a warmth pass through him. She put her invisible hand on his shoulder, and he felt it tickle. There was no weight to the touch, but he could still feel it all the same. He reached up and touched the spot, like he was covering her hand with his own.

__

Do you miss us?

He could feel Raine's sadness.

__

Laguna misses you.

She smiled warmly.

__

I'm sorry I killed you, Mom.

The ghostly imprint of Raine's face in the window shimmered, showing a heartbroken expression. He wondered how he was even seeing Raine here, so far away from Winhill. Was it because he was so dead inside now, or was it because of being exposed to Odin and Eden's magic the way he had been? Or, maybe it didn't matter how it came to be. Maybe it was because he'd officially lost all touch with reality. His grief had driven him insane. The thought didn't frighten Squall. Actually, it comforted him. If he were insane, he didn't have to worry about trying to 'get over' anything. He could be like this forever. He could let himself fall into a dream world where he could talk to Seifer and Raine even though they were dead. Or, he could even imagine they were still alive.

Looking at his mother's ghostly face, so pale and white and just like his own right now, he was taken by an idea. He concentrated on his connection with Raine's ghost, and wondered if he could see another ghost. As much as he loved seeing even an echo of his mother, he wanted to see Seifer more. It made his slow heartbeat start to race and come alive again. It made his blood run again, and made his breath fog up the glass. 'Seifer', he mouthed desperately. _I need to see you so bad. I need to apologize._

Squall touched the cold glass, fingers splaying across the reflection of Seifer's chest and shoulders. "I'm sorry," he whispered aloud, desperately trying to will this reflection to congeal further. It was so wispy and fuzzy. "I'm sorry I let you die. I'm sorry I ever hurt you... I..." The words caught in his throat when he could practically feel Seifer's breath against the back of his neck, so achingly familiar. Seifer touching him again. Being held in his strong arms to the point of having his breath taken away. _God yes_, his heart sang and cried out as he was enveloped in the familiar smell of Seifer's skin, a memory that had been with him his entire life.

Seifer's mouth moving over his jaw line. _I miss you so much._ Strong and familiar hands moving up his chest. _Please don't leave me again._ Tears stung his eyes like needles as his heart remembered how to beat in time with Seifer's. Seifer's hand covering his heart, feeling the beating through his breastbone. _I'm so sorry_._ I love you._ Seifer's hand cupping his chin. _Love you_. His pain melting away in a desperately desired kiss. _Seifer. Seifer. Please... _Mouth against his, taking his breath away, kissing him soundly and fiercely, lips curling up into the trademark Almasy smirk against Squall's own mouth. It was like he could devour that smirk and bring it into his own body for safekeeping.

__

But, it's not real...

Squall tried to ignore that small voice of protest that popped up out of nowhere. How could anything inside him protest at a time like this? When he was feeling Seifer with him again. How could any part of him argue when he felt whole once more? How could anything argue with feeling alive?!

__

You don't feel anything.

Squall shook his head, Seifer's fingers now caressing his hair, stroking his cheeks, cupping his face and feeling for his pulses. _Of course I feel something!_ He screamed at this voice.

__

When Mom touches you, you can feel it. All you're feeling now is a memory.

"No..." Squall ground out desperately, eyes fluttering open at that maddeningly rational voice. The part of him that was buried deep under his protective ice. "Don't do this to me!" He angrily hissed at himself. "Bring him back!" He punched the window, desperately trying to focus again. _Okay, just have to concentrate again so I can bring back his reflection_. "I need to see him again," he whispered, shivering. "Need to see him." Squall closed his eyes and used every ounce of willpower, but the vision wouldn't come back. Each second that passed between imagined caresses left Squall's body icier and icier. He was drifting away from the sun into a solitary, lonely existence in space. Like when Rinoa had been floating away, dying in the cold vacuum. Except now it was him, just waiting for his faceplate to crack and let blissful death in.

__

You can't find him again, can you?

"Shut up," Squall whispered. He could smell Seifer's cologne like he was in the room right now, but it was only a memory. Squall had to rub his chest. The pain of losing him again was crashing against all his unfelt emotion, trying to get out from under Squall's repressing chains. He struggled and fought against it, but this new pain was drowning him. He panted heavily, and couldn't stop the tears from hanging against the brink of his lashes. _Just let the pain kill me. Just let me die imagining he's here and real again and that I didn't kill him._

Squall's head and aura ached and throbbed as he tried again and again to bring any kind of vision of Seifer back to him. Anything. _Anything_.

__

You can't,

he told himself calmly again. _You can't, because he's not dead._

Squall's eyes snapped open, and he stared at the window, looking at the paleness of his own shocked face, a tear trickling down his cheek. The first he'd truly shed since Seifer died.

__

But, he didn't die.

"What...?" He asked his own reflection. He felt completely clear, talking to his own reflection like a madman. But, nothing in the past few days had felt so real as this.

__

We see Mom all the time. We've seen the ghost of a complete stranger. Remember that child in Balamb? So, why can't we see the ghost of someone that we're so connected to?

"I..." Squall began, looking at himself. This reflection Squall looked sure and calm and impatient. Squall knew this is what his face looked like once, but he'd fallen so far from this man.

__

She may be our Mom, but we never knew Raine. Knowing Seifer so well, we should have been able to call up his ghost quite easily. But, we can't. He's not a ghost. He's alive.

"His screams," Squall whispered. That awful noise coming from Eden's nail-filled maw. Hyne, it had been real! Xu was using Eden to taunt Squall and Quistis. Seifer was alive, and she had him! "Seifer..." He blinked and looked at his reflection. It was the horribly pale and dead looking Squall again. He felt just like he had when he'd woken up in that Timber flop house. Like he'd broken the surface of a lake to see the sun for the first time.

"No." He made that one syllable so powerful and forceful. "No," he told his reflection. "No amount of hoping will change that he's dead," he told Other Squall. He saw the light of hope leave his shining eyes to float to the bottom of the black pit inside him. It joined pain and grief and humanity, screaming to be let out instead of festering inside Squall's soul like cancer. He closed his eyes and turned his back on his hope, resting his head against the glass. "No. He's dead. And, you killed him."

There were no inner protests this time.

----

Nida's almond-shaped eyes slowly slid open when he felt Xu's breathing regulate beside him. He was spooning her tightly against him. Her skin felt hot and feverish, and actually felt kind of clammy. Her shadow was thrown up on the wall by the romantic candles they'd lit for their lovemaking, and it was different enough from Xu's shape to be disturbing. He slowly disentangled himself from his new girlfriend and made his way to the bathroom. As he urinated, he watched her sleep. She breathed shallowly and quickly. He didn't flush the toilet because he didn't want to wake her.

Nida crept across the room and slowly opened the connecting door between this room and Xu's office. She rarely slept in her old room anymore. She was too paranoid to leave her office alone for five minutes, and whenever she did, Astor and Luchia were always hovering. They'd both disappeared briefly, but only Luchia returned to the school, which meant there was one less guard to worry about. It gave him his chance. _Finally_. Nida slowly went over to the computer and turned it on, watching the door like a hawk, terrified that even the smallest keystroke would wake Xu.

He watched as the computer booted up, inputting Xu's password, feeling so dirty. Gods, so dirty. Touching Xu made him want to throw up. But, it was the only way he could get close enough to find out what she was hiding. And, lately touching her was even worse. She hadn't told him that she was junctioning Eden, but he could feel it. Hell, he could _see _it. When he touched her, he could feel Eden's power brushing up against his magical aura. It felt like he was dipping his hand into a vat of acid.

But, every time his resolve weakened, he thought of Quistis and Squall. Well, mostly Quistis. Only Quistis. He would risk everything to protect her, to help her. To expose Xu and clear her name, so everyone would see what Nida already knew. He hadn't even let himself tell Irvine what he'd been planning. It could have ruined everything. Xu would have suspected something otherwise, but Nida knew that she wanted him.

And, he felt dirty for having shot Seifer. The way he'd thrown himself in front of Squall and Quistis to protect them. Nida had purposely shot him in a non-vital area, but now... Nida was sure he was either dead or wishing he was dead. He'd delivered Seifer right into Xu's torturous hands. It made him so sick he could taste bile. As he skimmed through Xu's emails, he could still hear Squall's screams as he tumbled over the edge of the cliff and out of sight. Nida had always liked and respected Seifer, despite his unfortunate affiliation with Ultimecia and his sometimes prickly demeanour, so to do that to him... But, it was necessary. And, Nida knew that Seifer knew that, too. That he had willingly sacrificed himself for Squall, just as Nida was doing for Quistis.

__

Even though she thinks you're fucking Xu

, Nida told himself dully. In Xu's inbox, there was an email from Astor from that morning. Checking the door again, he clicked on it. _She probably hates your guts for shooting Seifer._ The email from Astor was short and encrypted in a code that Nida wasn't familiar with. While on missions, SeeD would send messages to each other using standard Garden encryptions, but this was something he'd never seen before. _What are you trying to hide?_

With his eyes constantly darting to the door, Nida went to work trying to decode the email. He had this horrible, sinking feeling that wherever Astor was, that's where Seifer was. Maybe alive, maybe just his body. Either way, Squall deserved to have him back, even if only to say goodbye and give him a proper burial.

"C'mon..." Nida urged himself quietly. As he tried to uncover what the message said, he also tried to figure out what computer terminal it was sent from. Nida knew Xu well enough that if he could just find one small link, he'd find everything. She was so meticulous that she'd keep documents of her true intentions somewhere, no matter how damning. She'd also want proof of her success. Her triumph over Quistis.

Even as Nida knew he was successful in decoding Astor's email, his heart sank to find that even the decrypted information was encrypted _again_. "No, goddammit..." He moaned, then quickly darted his eyes to the door. He again looked at the email, not letting himself get defeated. Not when Quistis needed him. One thing his decoding succeeded in doing was revealing where Astor sent the email from. He pulled open a program, and traced the Garden terminal to one in a way station they'd set up on the outskirts of Fisherman's Horizon, close to the Great Salt Lake border.

"What are you trying to tell her, you bastard?" Nida mouthed. The email had been sent that morning. As he stared blankly at the email, the code suddenly clicked into place. It was a simple replacement. A equalled B, B equalled C and so on. Nida began to switch the letters around, opening Xu's secure email line. He had to get this information to someone. After he'd replaced everything, he saw that it was Astor's message was a file path to some audio document on the Headmaster's private server.

When he found the file, Nida quietly searched Xu's desk drawers until he found a pair of headphones. After plugging them into the jack, he double-clicked, and as he listened, he wished he hadn't.

"Good morning," Astor's voice said smoothly over a small sound that Nida couldn't make out a first. It sounded like... boiling water, or something. "I know the eye thing has gotten kind of tedious, so we're going to try something different today. I think this will be our last day together, so I want to make it special. But, don't worry." The boiling sound got louder, mingled with something that reminded Nida of a shopping cart's rickety wheels against the asphalt of a market's parking lot. "It only means there's one more day until I can fulfill my promise."

There was sound of movement. Astor must have been wearing some kind of headset, and was picking up various sounds in whatever room he was in, including his footsteps as he walked. He must have moved closer to whoever he was talking to, and Nida was certain it was Seifer, because he heard a murmuring over the boiling noise.

"Hmm?" Astor murmured, sounding pleased with himself in a way that churned Nida's intestines. "What's that? I couldn't hear you, my friend." There was a loud crack, and a whine of pain.

"No," Seifer hissed, obviously in great agony.

"No?" Astor echoed. There was another crack, and this time Seifer screamed.

"No," Seifer repeated, panting and groaning. "I... I w-w... won't."

"Won't what?"

"If... if I s-s-s-tayyy alive..." Seifer was now audibly whimpering.

Astor laughed humourlessly. "If you stay alive, I can't go after Squall, right? You think you can survive that long? I beg to differ. I'll make sure you die today. So, say hello to Xu. She's listening." The boiling sound got louder, and then there was a sizzling sound coupled with Seifer's horrible, awful scream. Nida had to yank the headphones away from his ears, but could still hear it coming from them, sitting on the desk.

Nida disconnected the file. He couldn't listen to any more, and the screaming wasn't stopping. His mind filled in the blanks of what Astor was doing with all kinds of horrible options. Under Xu's orders. He glared at the black doorway, his desperation rising as he tried to crack Xu's servers. He _had_ to stop her. She'd wanted that audio to enjoy it. Great Hyne, to enjoy it! Nida knew he would never forget that sound of Seifer screaming. It would be in his nightmares until he died. But, Xu listened out of _enjoyment_.

Nida started making headway into the encryption, but didn't let himself get hopeful. Though Quistis, Xu and Squall were the names that immediately came to mind as Cid's possible successor, Nida had also unknowingly been on Cid's short list. He went about his work quietly and unremarkably, but he knew Garden backwards and forwards. As he worked, Nida sent the terminal location and the path to the audio file through secure email channels to the only person he knew would properly use the information. He had no idea how to reach Quistis or Squall, but Nida was certain that his partner would know what to do.

Nida's eyes scanned the computer screen, tasting his heartbeat. He gasped and had to bite his lip hard when the encryption fell apart right before him. He kept biting his lip, blood spurting into his mouth as windows popped up and revealed Xu's meticulous file system on Operation: Mariposa. Nida started to send that stuff to Irvine as well, not bothering to read it himself. There was no time.

__

Click

Snap!

. Send. _Click._ One step closer to vindicating Quistis and Squall. _Click_. One more file that would bury Xu. _Click_. One more file that could possibly save Seifer's life. _Click._

Nida yelped as pain shot up his arm. He looked down at his wrist, his mind unable to initially comprehend that his hand was turned around backwards, palm up. Shadow was wrapped around his broken wrist like a bracelet, winding and rolling like cold storm clouds. He tried to turn around to see this sudden assailant, and a hand was clamped over his mouth. Ice cold and darkly cruel. The touch made him vomit, the puke spurting out around the hand, that was the same half-formed shadows as the one that had broken his wrist. He knew this touch from contact with Xu. It was Eden in the form of a human. This close to such a bastardized aura made Nida throw up again. The hand was clamped so tight over his mouth that he started to choke on it, going up his nose and dribbling between Eden's shadowy fingers. There was a rancid smell about them of rotten flowers and raw sewage.

To his absolute horror, as if being this close to Eden's false humanoid form wasn't bad enough, the sheer amount of magical energy caused the electricity to surge, and powered down the laptop, erasing the data Nida had cracked, and halting the full email to Irvine. He let out a frustrated scream against Eden's hand, which only caused another wave of illness to overcome him. _Great Hyne,_ he prayed. _Please let Irvine have gotten some of that message. Please protect Quistis. I don't care what happens to me just... protect her._

"Why, Nida?" Xu asked, coming out of the bedroom. The highlights of her nude body were set in contrast with the blackness of the doorway. "At first, I was suspicious that you would have _finally_ noticed me, but I really did believe it." She sounded so sad as she stepped out into the office. She looked sweaty, and there was a red gleam in her eyes that made Nida's heart flip-flop in fear. "I thought you would have finally seen past... _Her_. But, you were lying about that. Why wouldn't you have just loved me? WHY QUISTIS AND NOT ME?!" She screamed in Nida's face. Eden's breath was hellish and fetid against his cheek. Each exhale was a death rattle, and he could feel the cold sharpness of nails pressing against his jugular vein. Just itching to tear his throat out. "Why is it _always_ her and not me?!" Her voice was now shrill and insane sounding.

On a dime, her demeanour changed, and she was pressed up against Nida with Eden's shadowy flotsam billowing all around them. "Oh Nida, please don't look at me like that, my love. I can't believe you think I would kill you."

Nida hurled garbled curses at her around Eden's hand. Bile rose out of him again, but now it was in the form of decomposing flower petals. He could taste the sweet, horrid rot deep in his throat. Both he and Xu gasped when there was a knock on the office door. Xu completely froze, and Nida started trying to scream. He flailed against Eden and managed to bang his boot loudly against the desk. Hellish darkness wrapped around him, and blasphemous runes burned the floor under his feet, binding him like a mummy and lashing him with unbearable pain. His body was frozen stiff, no matter how much his brain screamed at it to move.

"Xu, please tell me you didn't sleep in here again," Zell's voice murmured on the other side of the door. He opened it, and was blasted in the face by the cold ugliness of Eden's magical aura. He took in the whole scene of Xu pressed up against Nida, her completely naked body glowing in the moonlight from all the sweat dripping off her. The way Nida was being held by a disgusting looking thing that seemed made of shadows, its aura even uglier than its appearance. Nida's face... completely frozen in terror, lit from underneath by the runes at his feet. The stench of Eden hit Zell like a punch, but that wasn't what was making him sick.

"They were right..." He whispered, feeling like a complete fool. He looked at the woman he'd felt such love for, and it became terror. Disappointment. Betrayal. _Hate._ "What have you done?!" He demanded. He tried to call Ifrit, but Eden's aura was just too strong, and it pressed down on Zell's connection with the fire deity until that psychic thread snapped and sent Ifrit to the Summon plane.

"Zell," Xu cooed, sauntering towards him. She wrapped her arms around his broad shoulders and looked deep into his eyes. The horror in his face made his eyes as wide as saucers. Nida was trying to scream at Zell to run, to just get the fuck out of there and save himself.

"Don't touch me!" Zell hissed. _What have you done, Dincht?! You betrayed Squall and Quistis for... THIS?!_

"But, you like it when I touch you," Xu murmured, touching the sides of his face. Her hands left shadowy trails in the air, and glowed with a dark, unnatural purplish light. The shadow roiled like snakes, Eden's power flowing through Xu's body and transforming it. "Don't you?" She asked.

From across the room, even in the dim light Nida could see smoky blackness passing across Zell's eyes like clouds before a hurricane.

"Now, go off to bed. I'll join you shortly. I just have to finish up a little paperwork, okay?"

"A Headmaster's duty is never done, huh?" Zell asked teasingly, though there was a scary blankness to his comment. Nida tried desperately to struggle, but Eden's runes held him fast, and now it was like Zell didn't see him at all.

Xu lightly kissed Zell's lips, then smacked his butt playfully as he practically floated out of the office. She turned to Nida and let out a frustrated sigh. "Oh, darling..." She ground out as if they were sharing a private joke. "He's such a complete moron. But... well, he does have his uses. I just want you to know that he really does mean nothing to me. He never has."

Nida couldn't say all the evil and vile things he was thinking, so he only glared at her with all the hate he'd ever felt in his life.

"It was always you," Xu murmured sadly, her emotions completely genuine. It made her sound like the Xu he'd always known. Before she'd let her desire for power twist her into something barely human. "Why couldn't you see how much I love you? Why did you have to always notice Quistis?" She asked desperately, real tears pooling in her eyes.

She leaned against the desk, rubbing her cheeks as tears started to soak them. "I miss her, you know? I never wanted it to go this far!" She cried out, imploring him with her eyes, which shone like mirrors. "I just wanted Cid to see me! I just wanted _you_ to see me, Nida! But, she had to steal everything that I wanted. Without even trying, you know?" She started sobbing into her hands, and Nida's rage began to turn into pity. "I thought she was in love with Squall!" Xu exclaimed through her sobs. "She could have been with him! They could have been happy, if it weren't for Seifer getting in the way. Quisty could have had everything she wanted with him. She loves him. Right...? I thought it would finally help them get together. Then, I could have had what I wanted, and she could have had what she wanted."

Nida just stared at her, wide-eyed. His whole body was on fire, Eden's magic moving through his veins, making them stand out in stark contrast against his skin, black and polluted.

"I'll end it," Xu said with iron conviction, hands balled into fists. "I'll end it!" She exclaimed, smiling at Nida through her tears. Eden was still holding him fast, panting like a hellhound in his ear. "Once Quistis realizes this is right and I'm _meant_ to be Headmaster, then Mariposa will be no more. And, she'll realize that she should be with Squall. Oh, it will all work out for the best. Even with you trying to make everything worse, Nida."

__

You're insane,

his mind screamed at her. _You're fucking insane. Listen to what your lust for power and Eden are turning you into!_

"I know you tried to send some information to someone." She walked across the room, standing in front of the wall that was covered in butterflies under glass. "Seifer will be dead by now. Nobody could survive what Astor had planned for him today. Seifer will do some good for once in his life before he dies. He'll lure Squall and Quistis out. He'll be dead, and they'll mourn him. It will make them come together, without that fucking asshole getting in the way. When Squall and Quistis are together, she'll be happy that I'm with you. And, I can pardon the charges. I can set them free," she whispered. "I'll be benevolent."

She looked at Nida's reflection in the shadowboxes, and turned to face him. He felt the painful runes release, and Eden's stinking hand lowered from his mouth. "What do you think?"

"I think that I want to rip you apart with my bare hands right now," Nida ground out, throwing up again. His bare chest was now covered in vomit. Eden laughed behind him, and it sounded like broken glass mixed with Seifer's screams and the whispery plea of a voice that sounded like Quistis's. "You insane _bitch_. You think Quistis would _ever_ forgive you? You think Esthar would just let this happen once they find out?!"

Xu cocked her head in confusion. Though her train of thought was so fucked up, her emotions had really been her own, and her eyes had looked like herself once more. But now, they started to flow with red. "No, she'd never forgive me. She's not only content to steal everything I want, but she's determined to ruin my life, too. She always has been. She kept saying that she didn't want to be Headmaster. She didn't care that she had her own fucking fan club. She kept saying she didn't want to date you out of loyalty to me. What a fucking liar. No. No, no, no, no. I gave her _everything_. I gave her a chance for happiness, and she threw it away. She spit it in my face and then stole my life."

"Listen to yourself!" Nida screamed at her.

"I finally had you..." Xu shuffled towards him, her brown eyes starting to fight against the encroaching red. But, she'd already lost the battle to power-hungry mania. "And, now that I know what it feels like to have you, I'm not going to let you go." She briefly looked away from his face to make eye contact with Eden. Nida knew something horrible was going to happen to him, but it happened before he could react. The pain of Eden's heinous magic filled him, and he tried to scream in agony, but all that came out were rotten, black flower petals, stinking like a plugged toilet. The kept coming out until the carpet was littered with them. Nida fell to his knees, glaring hatefully at Xu. She smiled down at him lovingly, watching as Eden's power seeped into his eyes and possessed his brain. It enveloped and swallowed him, keeping him safe. Keeping him close to her.

---

Fujin pressed herself into the shadows, rolling a sleeping spell bomb on the ground towards the feet of a few Estharian soldiers, her black jeans and sweatshirt melting into the shadows. She wore a black baseball cap over her silver hair to hide it in the moonlight. When the little bomb hit one of their boots, the smoke released from it, billowing powerful sleeping agents into the air. It only took a few moments for their armoured bodies to collapse to the ground. Quickly and quietly as a cat, Fujin made her way to her goal - an armoured army truck. She crouched beside the soldiers and took their machine guns. She slung their straps around her shoulders, and then started to roll them out of the way, monosyllabically cursing at them for being so heavy and in her way at such a critical moment. Sol's mechanized voice was still ringing in her ears. _I'm uploading you some coordinates. Seifer may still be alive. I'll meet you there, Neptune._ If there was even the smallest chance that it were true, Fujin would take any stupid risk imaginable. She slipped behind the wheel of the truck and turned on the engine, nobody even noticing she was gone. She started to drive north as fast as she could, switching to the GPS function in her phone. She set it on the dash and briefly looked out to the side window. There were lots of big and ill-tempered animals and monsters in this part of Esthar, so she wanted to make sure she didn't drive too close to a Malboro or Behemoth. But, what made her scream wasn't one of those infamous creatures. It was that there was someone sitting in the passenger seat, staring at her with dead, wintery eyes.

Seifer... alive...?

"Where are you going?" Squall asked. His voice was cold and emotionless. It was actually pretty creepy, like one of those slasher movies that Raijin made her sit through all the time.

"FUCK!" She cursed, the truck swerving a little. "What are you DOING?" She demanded angrily. Gods, she wanted to punch him right now.

"Sol called you, didn't he?" Squall asked. She then noticed he had both his own gunblade, and Seifer's. "About Seifer."

Fujin thought that she hadn't been seen, but from his usual perch in the guard's room, he saw her slipping stealthily towards the army vehicles, dressed all in black. Something inside him had screamed to follow her. That it had something to do with Seifer. He'd snuck out after her, already dressed in his usual black. When she'd been wrestling with the unconscious soldiers, he'd simply slid into the passenger seat. He knew that it was wrong to leave Quistis behind, but he had to. He couldn't put her at risk. She was the one that Xu wanted most.

"He's alive, isn't he?" Squall asked. There was a heat in his voice that had been so very absent in the past few days.

Fujin just glared at Squall, pulling to a slow stop. "OUT."

"No."

Fujin swivelled in the seat and was damn close to shooting death rays out of her remaining eye. He just glared right back. Most people would have looked away by now, but Squall was very well equipped to match her in the icy glare category. "FINE," she hissed, starting the truck again. "Just don't get in my way."

"... Whatever you say, Neptune."

Fujin's teeth felt like they were going to crack from how tight she was clenching her jaw.

"Sol is Irvine. Did he tell you?"

No, Sol hadn't told her. She tried not to look surprised. To have to hear it from Squall of all people. She cast him a sidelong glare. They wouldn't even have to go after Seifer if it weren't for this man beside her. He would be perfectly safe and unharmed in Dollet. Perfectly safe. Perfectly unhappy. Lonely. Miserable. Or dead because he would have gone after them, or gone straight after Xu on their behalf, and gotten himself killed, anyway. Rationally, she knew that it wasn't Squall's fault. Squall loved Seifer. Despite the fucked up way he'd gone about things the last couple of years, his feelings for Seifer were genuine and deep. But, Fujin still wanted to hate him. She held the steering wheel tight as she raced towards Sol's coordinates, towards Fisherman's Horizon. _Irvine, _she mentally corrected.

It was an ugly, tense and silent ride. Neither were verbose at the best of times, and Fujin was so full of rage and Squall so full of mourning and guilt. But, they were both also full of hope. What if...? _What if_?? Squall's heart raced at the thought. It pounded at his chest, throbbing and aching. His fingers stroked the hilt of Hyperion, feeling the cold metal. The realness of it. It was a part of Seifer that he could still feel under his fingertips, and when Squall touched it, it was like he was touching a part of Seifer that still existed in this world. But now... maybe all of him still existed.

"Do you know where he is?" Squall asked in the quiet of the truck's cab. Neither had said a single word after even three hours of driving. They were now passing by the North-Central prefecture at a dizzying speed, heading further northwest towards the Great Salt Lake area of the city.

"FH," Fujin muttered.

"There's a Garden way station there," Squall muttered, watching out the window as they passed by a Malboro, far enough away that the creature paid them no mind. It was too busy digging in the ground with its tentacles for something or other. Squall noticed that it was a truly wild Malboro, the original creature before they got fused with more monstrous strains during lunar cries. He could tell because it had flowers blooming on its head like a crown. In his mind, Seifer's voice was explaining all this to him. He had to bite his lip against the pain of hearing his lover so clearly, and the anticipation that Squall could hear him again.

"Sol said he'd get back to me in more detail," Fujin replied tensely. "IRVINE," she corrected. _That _was going to take some more time to wrap her head around.

"That building has anti-magic wards..." Squall trailed off. Odin said that he'd lost the feeling of Seifer. Squall had thought that to mean that Seifer was dead, but Odin wouldn't be able to feel him if he were trapped behind psychic barriers.

Both of their gazes shot to the dashboard when Fujin's phone started vibrating and bouncing. "ANSWER," she muttered. Because she only had one eye, it was a lot harder for her to drive, especially when distracted by anything like a phone. And, she was kind of pissed at Irvine from not confiding in his own assassin that she kind of wanted him to know that she hadn't gone on this mission alone.

Squall picked up the phone and saw that it said 'unknown number'. He flipped open Fujin's phone and said "Irvine."

"... Squall?" The mechanized voice asked, unable to show any of Irvine's surprise.

"Where is he?" Squall's blank tone was mingled with the beginnings of desperation.

"SPEAKER," Fujin commanded.

Squall briefly rolled his eyes in annoyance and looked like classic, vintage Squall while doing it. He pressed the speaker button and put the phone back on the dash.

"LIAR," Fujin snapped.

Irvine must have disconnected the voice scrambler, because it was his own voice that came through. "Oh, please. I never meant to tell anyone, but the situation got out of hand, to put it mildly. I'm not sure who sent me the info, but I did get what looks like partial files about Mariposa," Irvine noted. "I confirmed that it's the Garden way station in Fisherman's Horizon where the email was sent from. It contained a link to an audio clip on the server that he must have thought Xu wanted to hear."

"INFORMANT?"

"I don't know. I'm hoping it was Nida, but I don't want to contact him, because if it was him it might blow his cover. If it wasn't... I have no clue. A Trepie, maybe?" Irvine let out his breath in a slow, loud shunt. "Fujin... I hope you're driving fast, beautiful. He might not be alive anymore."

Fujin and Squall both looked at each other, expressions a mirror. Fujin was sure she'd also taken on that sudden green shade that Squall's lovely face was sporting. "MEANING...?"

"The audio is of Seifer being tortured. It's bad."

"SEND," Fujin commanded icily.

"Fujin..."

"SEND!" She shouted angrily.

"... all right. I'll meet you at the facility, okay?"

"FINE."

Irvine hung up and her phone started receiving the file. Squall closed his eyes, trying not to think of what could be happening to Seifer. What if... Hyne, what would Squall do if he had this hope that Seifer was alive, and they arrived only to find it was too late? That he'd died in the most painful way possible? The first thing he would do would be to kill Astor. Then... he would probably die himself. He'd take Astor to hell with him.

Both of them jerked when the phone tinkled to signal the file was finished downloading. Fujin stuck a finger out and played it before she could change her mind. Astor's voice filled the truck cab and stabbed them both in the chest. "Good morning. I know the eye thing has gotten kind of tedious, so we're going to try something different today."

Squall's eyes closed, trying not to let his mind wander when he heard a boiling noise. Astor's voice droned on pleasantly, and when he heard a small noise, Squall let out a small gasp. Seifer! _Hold on, baby. I'm coming._ When he heard Astor say his name, his attention drew back to the recording. "If you stay alive, I can't go after Squall, right? You think you can survive that long? I beg to differ. I'll make sure you die today. So, say hello to Xu. She's listening." Then, the screaming started. That same screaming that had come from Eden's mouth and plagued Squall's every thought.

"FUCK!" Fujin screamed angrily, smashing her fist against her phone to shut off the noise. "FUCK. FUCKING BASTARD."

While Fujin raged, Squall became unnaturally still, even for his current condition. Esthar whizzed by him to the echo of Seifer's screaming. The last time he'd felt this level of clarity was when he'd known that choosing to be with Seifer was the right decision. It was always Seifer that gave him this sharp focus. Seifer was the focus that he lacked. Seifer was the fiery expression of passion that he lacked. Seifer was the boldness he lacked. He was the patience that Seifer lacked. He was the rationality that Seifer lacked. Apart, they were half-formed people, half-finished and forgotten jigsaw puzzles. Together they were complimentary. Together they were finished. They were whole.

"BRIDGE," Fujin sternly pointed out a few hours later. In the distance, they could see the spires that signalled the Great Salt Lake terminal, Esthar's flags flapping proudly in the light of the rising sun. "UNIFORMS." She jerked her thumb to the back seat.

"I should do the talking," Squall answered as he shed his hoodie, putting the lightweight Estharian armour on over his black jeans and long-sleeved shirt. "My Estharian is better."

Fujin just grunted, stopping the truck so she could also change. They switched places so Squall was driving, and then they were off again, each wondering if those few precious moments wasted were the ones where Seifer breathed his last breath. Fujin just held her breath behind her mask as they pulled up beside a guard station. It was amazing, that completely introverted, anti-social Squall could be such a good actor. He changed his voice, and his Estharian was fluid and beautiful. He charmed and laughed and was perfectly at ease, and within a couple of minutes, they were being waved through.

"They didn't ask about us, did they?" Fujin asked, pulling off her mask when they were once again on their way, driving at the speed limit along the thin highway built alongside the Horizon Rail Line. It felt painfully slow. Astor could be standing over Seifer's dying body now...

"No," Squall muttered, unfastening his mask while still driving. "Dad would have noticed I was gone by now, but word must not have gotten here."

"QUISTIS?"

Squall's scarred brow furrowed. Fisherman's Horizon was now in distant view. "It's better that she stay behind."

"This is a suicide mission for you, isn't it?"

He didn't answer.

"If he's dead, you're not coming back. You'll kill Astor, and ride to the grave with him."

Again, no answer.

"SELFISH."

"...Whatever."

"No, not 'whatever'," Fujin hissed. "What about Quistis, or Ellone and President Loire? Did you even think about them, and how they would feel? How would your father feel to lose his child? How would Quistis feel?! She _needs_ you." She shook her head angrily. "God, you two are so much alike."

Squall knew he was doing the right thing, but he did acknowledge that Fujin was right. He just hoped that Quistis would understand, no matter how this turned out in the end.

---

"Excuse me?" Quistis asked of one of the Estharian guards near the front doors of the compound. She was clutching a ream of papers against her chest, eyes full of mounting concern. "You... you haven't seen Squall Leonhart, have you?"

"He's not in the guard's office?" The soldier asked, cocking his head.

"No."

The guard gently moved past her and into the office. When he came out, his body language was all puzzlement. "Perhaps he went to the bathroom?" The soldier then walked up the hall to the nearest men's room, but came back out with that same level of confusion.

"I checked his room and the infirmary, too." Quistis's concern was starting to become full-fledged worry. Had Squall done anything rash? What if...?

"I'm sure he just took a walk," the soldier assured, taking off his faceplate so he could look into her eyes while he tried to convince her that the only person left in her life hadn't just committed suicide. Quistis was surprised when she looked into his face. He had the most startling pair of grey eyes she'd ever seen. They were an astonishing shade of silvery dove grey that would have gotten lost in the whites of his eyes if it weren't for the dark, stormy ring around the outer edge of the iris. It made them look luminous and mysterious. Almost inhuman. She couldn't help but stare. Aside from the eyes, the rest of his face was quite nice, too. Even though he gave her a kind smile, he still pulled out his radio and asked the other soldiers if they'd seen the President's son.

"Jurgen!" A voice called, coming up the stairs from outside two at a time. It was another soldier. "Three soldiers were attacked outside. Looks like it was a sleep bomb. There's also a transport missing."

"Missing?" Jurgen of the grey eyes answered. "Check the security cameras," he instructed.

"Yes, Sir!" The soldier saluted hastily and scurried off, calling on the radio for help.

__

Squall, please... please Hyne, I hope you haven't done anything stupid. No, no... he just took a walk. Maybe he went looking for Tiernan. Being around him is the only time that Squall gets close to a smile. Squall just went for a walk. He just finally went to sleep. He didn't wander off into the plains to be eaten by a Behemoth. Maybe he didn't kill himself because he can't live without Seifer. Just like he's been trying to destroy himself his entire life. He killed himself and left me all alone...

Quistis looked up from her horrible reverie that just kept getting darker and scarier when she heard her name. The hallway was now filled with the commotion of radios squawking and soldiers calling to each other about the security cameras and the missing army vehicle. Amidst this, Rinoa was pushing past a soldier towards Quistis, her heart-shaped face full of the same worry that was plaguing Quistis.

"Quistis... I overheard that Squall's... missing? Is he...?"

Quistis nodded. It could still be that he'd just wandered to somewhere else in the compound, but she knew that wasn't true. She knew that he'd left.

"You don't think he'd do anything stupid, do you...?" Rinoa asked. Quistis looked so scared and lost that the Sorceress wanted to wrap her arms around the other woman. But, they weren't that far yet in their relationship repair, so she didn't try.

Quistis didn't reply. She knew the right answer was 'yes', but she just couldn't say it out loud. She looked up when she heard Jurgen shout "bring them over here!" A soldier was ushering in a few other soldiers who were lumbering around and banging into things. One of them yanked off his faceplate and retched, though only saliva came out. She felt Rinoa's hand gingerly touch one of her own, and didn't pull away. She felt too alone to hold onto her anger.

"What the hell is going on?!" Laguna's voice demanded as he pushed his way through the hall. Neither woman had ever heard Laguna's voice hold such firm authority. His eyes blazed, cold and angry and so much like Squall's.

"Sir!" Jurgen saluted. "Your son is unaccounted for, Sir. There is also a missing transport, and these soldiers were afflicted with what looks like a sleep bomb. We're looking at the security cameras to see what vehicle was taken exactly, and if it was Squall. Once we know, we can log onto the servers and track the truck."

"And, nobody saw him leave?" Laguna demanded, worry punching through his anger. "Did he say or do anything the last time you saw him?"

"No, Sir. He'd barely moved all day except to rummage through the desk in the morning. Earlier he was muttering under his breath, but it was nothing to give serious alarm."

Quistis clutched her papers tighter to her chest and stepped back against the wall as one of the sick soldiers stumbled down the hall towards them. He was doubled over and clutching his stomach, making his way towards the bathroom. He lurched towards Quistis, and she had to sidestep to avoid being crashed into. As he sleepily stumbled, his body suddenly became fluid and lucid, and a blade was suddenly in his hand. Quistis saw the flash, and the papers about Seifer's mother flew into the air as she ducked low. The blade nicked her shoulder, and a second blade sprung out from a wrist sheath, and slipped in between two of Quistis's ribs.

Her breath came out in a surprised shunt, but she still had her wits about her, so grabbed her assailant's shoulders and kneed him in the bread basket, pitching him forward. The first blade whizzed past her ear. If she hadn't pulled him forward, it would have gone right into the side of her throat and severed her jugular.

"Quisty!" Rinoa screamed, leaping onto the soldier's back with her arms wrapped tight around his throat. She tore at his faceplate, a couple of her nails breaking. She felt a blade dig deep into the back of her hand. She couldn't cast any powerful magic because of the cramped quarters. This close, she could kill Quistis, too.

The cut on Quistis's shoulder started to sting horribly, and her vision was going grey. She could hear Rinoa calling her name, and then felt the heat of magic near her. Rinoa sent some magical electricity through the soldier's body and dug her knees into his kidneys as the fell to the ground. But, he was very well-trained, and as he was falling, he rolled his body so that he got Rinoa pinned underneath him. He flung his elbow backwards and jabbed it hard into her chest, winding her. She started to cast more magic, but he flung his head backwards and slammed it against her face. Because of the armoured helmet, it was a heavy blow.

The soldier arched his hips, still pressing his weight down on Rinoa. He kicked his feet up in the air so he could reach the concealed gun holster around his ankle. He aimed the gun at Quistis, but it was hard to get a firm target because Rinoa was still trying to get her limbs all around him. He fired the pistol at the same time that he cracked his head back against Rinoa's face again. Magic jerked through him and changed his aim, so the bullet barely missed Quistis's head.

Rinoa groaned, pretty sure her nose was broken, but she didn't dare stop fighting, even if physical fighting wasn't her strong suit. She just knew that she couldn't let him hurt Quistis. She held onto him as tight as she could, ignoring the throbbing pain in her face, and let out a controlled wave of magic. It sent pain through her own body. She still wasn't used to concentrating such a strong blow, and hoped to Hyne that she didn't lose control. She could smell burning fabric and skin as the white hot magic poured from her own body into the parts of the attacker that she was touching. She heard him scream above her, and it felt like she was in a blast furnace, but she didn't stop until his body went completely still.

Around this nearly fatal scuffle, chaos erupted. The soldiers' first priority was to protect Laguna, so when the would-be assassin's body was lifted off Rinoa, it wasn't a soldier of Esthar. It was Raijin. "Holy crap, Rinoa! Are you okay?"

"Quisty..." She ground out, rolling onto her side so she could cough up some blood from her broken nose.

Raijin pushed the dead body away and crawled over to his former Instructor. "Quistis!" He exclaimed quietly, gently pulling her hands away from her ribcage. The knife was still embedded there, keeping most of the blood inside her body. The cut on her shoulder was starting to look red and angry.

The cut on Rinoa's hand was the same. She looked at it, how it looked infected already. "That blade..." She slowly sat up, rubbing her jaw. "I think it was coated in poison." She pointed to it, blood dripping on the floor. "Don't touch, Raijin!"

"Rinoa!" Laguna exclaimed. "Quistis!" He brushed off Jurgen, who was trying to keep him away from the scene. "What happened? Are you okay?!"

"They need to get to the infirmary," Raijin said. "Rinoa says that blade was probably poisoned, ya know?!"

Jurgen crouched beside the dead body, ripping off the faceplate. "I don't know this man."

Quistis groaned, looking over at the body. The eyes were wide and staring up at the ceiling, the light already having left them. "He looks familiar," She panted. "... Garden."

"No more talking," Laguna commanded. "We better get you two to Tiernan."

"Don't worry about... me..." Quistis answered haltingly. "Find... Squall."

"Oh, President Loire!" Raijin exclaimed as Jurgen came over to help Quistis off the ground. "I came to tell you... I can't find Fujin, ya know?! I think it might have something to do with Squall."

"Are you saying she hurt him?" Laguna demanded, his eyes cold like Squall's again. From all accounts, Raine had been one of the sweetest, most serene people in the world, so Squall's coldness must have come from somewhere, and though Laguna didn't show that side of himself often, he'd passed that down to his child.

"I dunno, ya know?! I know she blames him for Seifer's death, but... I don't think she'd hurt Squall. Seifer would have never wanted that, and she loved Seifer too much to go against his wishes, even though..." He trailed off. He didn't mention the fact that Fujin was a trained assassin. She could have taken off on a job for Sol, but somehow Raijin knew she hadn't. "It's just this feeling I got."

"Okay, thanks Raijin." Laguna clapped his shoulder. "You two take them to the infirmary," she said, pointing to Raijin and Jurgen.

"At once, Sir." Jurgen gently lifted the now unconscious Quistis off the ground, carrying her towards the infirmary wing.

"Whoa...!" Raijin exclaimed when he'd helped Rinoa to her feet. She could walk so he didn't pick her up, though she did lean heavily against his side. He pointed to the ground. The shape of her Sorceress wings were burned into the floor like a macabre snow angel.

"Quistis..." Rinoa muttered, starting to black out.

"Come on," Raijin urged, fully picking her up when she swooned. "You gotta get to the infirmary, ya know?!" He urged. "Your hand is turning black from that poison."

"Quisty...?"

"She'll be okay," Raijin assured, but he was sure Rinoa was now hallucinating and didn't hear him. So, she wouldn't have been able to hear the doubt in Raijin's voice.

---

"THERE." Fujin slowed the truck and pulled into the dark parking lot of a boat motor repair shop half a dozen blocks from the way station. The headlights briefly illuminated Irvine leaning against an old rusty fence, motor parts stacked behind him.

Before she could even kill the engine, Squall was jumping out, both gunblades out and ready. He stormed towards Irvine, fury filling his eyes. "You betrayed us," he hissed, raising Hyperion so it was pointed at Irvine's throat.

To his credit, Irvine didn't flinch. "I didn't," he denied calmly. "Xu must have been watching me closer than I thought. I wouldn't hurt you."

"Even if someone paid you to?" Squall hissed cruelly.

Irvine knew he deserved that comment, but it didn't stop him from frowning angrily. "You want to argue, or do you want to save Seifer's life?"

That shut Squall up quickly. Fujin crossed her arms and glared at him. "LIAR."

"You've never looked hotter," he said with a wink. "Okay, I got that file about Seifer, but I also got some other information. I think they were trying to send me Xu's files on Operation: Mariposa, but something happened during transfer. They're all encrypted like the power went out." It was a Garden failsafe that if the power went out during the transfer of sensitive information, it would re-encrypt the data. If the file transfer was legitimate, it could just be attempted again, but it would prevent undesirables from receiving unwanted data.

"SEIFER. PLAN?"

"There can't really be much of a plan. This way station is so small, and there's no real chance for a sneak attack. As soon as we step in there, Astor will know. There's one main level, and two basement levels. Astor will probably have Seifer in one of those underground levels. I do know that Luchia and Xu are back in Balamb, so at least we won't have them to deal with." Irvine unfurled a blueprint onto the hood of the station wagon and pointed to things as he spoke. "There's a stairwell here, and here. There won't be many SeeD here, since Xu wouldn't want anyone to know that Seifer was still alive, and what she was doing to him."

"What about people coming from the outside? Astor could summon for more agents while we're in there," Squall pointed out.

"One of us will have to stay upstairs and guard the doors. One to find Seifer, and the other to deal with Astor." Irvine narrowed his periwinkle eyes at Squall. "You up for this?" He looked exhausted and weakened.

Squall just looked up from the blueprint and gave Irvine a glare that made the assassin leader look back down.

"I can watch the exterior."

All three of them yelped and cursed under their breath, and whipped around to see Ivan Blackmoon standing behind them, hands held casually in front of him like he'd been taking an evening stroll and just happened upon them.

"IVAN?" Fujin asked, shocked.

"Fujin," he greeted, though his eyes didn't leave Squall's face. The human was glaring daggers at him. "Don't worry about the entrance. I can't enter because of the anti-magic field within the building, so I'll remain out here."

"Can you teleport us back to Esthar?"

"TELEPORT...?" Fujin echoed in confusion.

"Not if Seifer is seriously injured. Go," Ivan commanded, his powers leaking into his voice and creating an ethereal echo. His sword appeared in his hands, and his black cape flowed from his shoulders like water, his human disguise giving way to his true appearance.

Fujin gaped as Irvine tugged her towards the door.

"We need a plan," Irvine murmured to Squall as he put some plastique into the lock.

"No," Squall answered sharply. "Just stay out of my way."

"ODIN...?" Fujin muttered, still looking at Seifer's ex-boyfriend in confusion.

"Long story. Not now," Irvine pushed her away from the door. "Fire in the hole!" He shouted as he blew the plastique. The door blasted inwards in a ball of fire and black smoke. Squall was the first through the door, not caring if it was reckless and suicidal. Seifer was all that mattered.

The noise drew a few plainclothes SeeD. Squall didn't even look at their faces to see if he knew them. Right now, he would have killed even Selphie or Zell without a second look. In his right hand, he carried his familiar gunblade, and in his left, Hyperion. Seifer's gunblade was a lot heavier than his own, and Squall couldn't hold it in the same manner his lover did, but he found he got used to the weight quickly. He slashed out with Hyperion and decapitated the first SeeD before he'd even been able to draw his weapon. As his arm was arcing back from the swipe, he circled his right arm back so Lionheart cast a deadly arc behind him and spilled the intestines of a second SeeD. The explosion caused the sprinkler system to buzz and go off, so water rained down on them. It also set off the alarm, so all the red safety lights came on, and the whole building was filled with loud, annoying beeping.

"Down!" Irvine commanded to his assassin, pointing to the stairs. "You find Seifer! I'm going to find a computer terminal!" He shouted over the alarms, SeeD gunfire and falling water.

"SQUALL?" Fujin called, jerking back when the lower half of an arm flew past her and smacked against the wall with a nauseating thump, leaving a smear of gore. Squall appeared before her amidst the smoke and sprinklers, the SeeD gunfire having gone quiet. There was a dark look in his eyes, and blood splattered across the left side of his face. He looked frightening. Like he should have been the assassin, and she and Irvine the tag-alongs. Bloody bits were smeared on the blades of both weapons.

"The terminal's up here," Irvine breathed, water dripping from his hair. He looked almost like a stranger without his cowboy hat on.

"We'll go down," Fujin whispered. "Just try to get those files and hope that bitch hasn't wiped them completely yet."

Squall just ignored this whole interaction, and pushed past Fujin into the stairs leading down. Stealth didn't matter. Secrecy didn't matter. Mercy didn't matter.

"Go after him, love." Irvine kicked a hacked-up body out of the way, raising an eyebrow at the level of destruction Squall had wrought in such a short amount of time. He started to log into the computer, not bothering to hide that he was using his own name. This was his stand against Garden, both as Sol and as Irvine Kinneas.

"LOVE?" Fujin repeated angrily, even as she was going to the stairwell to follow Squall. "SQUALL?" Her voice echoed through the hallway, smoke wisping after her from the stairwell. Squall was standing a few yards ahead of her, facing another man who had a large knife in one hand, an electrified staff in the other. His pale green shirt and jeans were covered in blood, both drying and fresh.

It was Astor, and he was covered in Seifer's blood.


	13. Chapter 13

****

Chapter 13

"Hey, how are you feeling?"

Quistis groggily opened her eyes, and saw Rinoa sitting beside her, looking pale and concerned. She tried to sit up, but pain shot through her chest and she could only groan and flop back down against the pillow. She heavily blinked her eyes and touched her ribs. They were thickly bandaged, and her arms felt like lead.

"You're lucky he didn't stab you there with that poisoned knife," Rinoa murmured. She reached out and held Quistis's hand, and the blonde didn't let it go. She felt too alone to try and still be mad. Squall was gone. Seifer was gone. Quistis had nobody, except for this woman who was holding her hand and sitting loyally by her bedside And, who'd saved her life.

"Squall...?" Quistis asked.

Rinoa bit her lip. She didn't have to answer, because she'd never been good at hiding her emotional reactions. Quistis's eyes looked so big and bright compared to the white pallor of her complexion, and her disappointment caused them to fill with tears that had nothing to do with her stab wound.

"They figured out what car he and Fujin took," Rinoa offered, nervously stroking the back of Quistis's hand with her fingers. "It was caught on video at the Great Salt Lake gates. The guard said they were soldiers. Fujin and Squall must have been dressed up."

"Great Salt...?"

"Laguna and Kiros think they went to Fisherman's Horizon."

"Fisherman's...?" Quistis began to ask, but had to stop when a coughing fit overtook her.

"You should rest," Rinoa urged. "Or Tiernan will get mad and won't let me stay."

Quistis sighed. "Why did he leave me?" She asked. Her tone was calm, but it sounded so lost and heartbroken.

" ...I don't know," Rinoa admitted. Reading and gauging Squall's emotions was never something she'd been good at. "Raijin said there's a Garden station there, though. And, I bet Xu would have set up even more offices, knowing that you guys were heading in this direction, and..." She trailed off when they suddenly weren't alone. It was the Estharian guard with the strange and lovely grey eyes - Jurgen. He'd been given the job of guarding Quistis against further attacks. Kiros had wanted to move them all outright back to the centre of the city, but Laguna was adamant about staying. Kiros had to listen, since Laguna was President, but he didn't have to like it.

"Oh, Ms. Trepe. You're awake. Shall I call for Dr. Murphy-Seagill?"

"I'm fine," the blonde muttered.

"Yes, you should," Rinoa spoke over her, giving Jurgen a tight-lipped smile. The way his extraordinary eyes lingered on Quistis didn't go unnoticed to the novice Sorceress. He must have noticed the way Quistis's golden hair spilled across the pillow in an angelic fashion. Her lush lips looking full and red compared to the wan skin. How even hospitalized, she was so beautiful. Like Sleeping Beauty. "Do you think he's handsome?" Rinoa asked, trying to sound innocent about it.

"Who?" Quistis muttered bitterly, feeling sorry for herself. Though, Rinoa's touch did anchor her. It made her feel like someone was still here for her.

"That guard. Jurgen. He has such lovely eyes."

"Yeah, I guess..." She yawned and then grunted in pain. "I'm sure he'd love to date you."

"No, not for me!" Rinoa exclaimed, blushing. Yes, Jurgen was very handsome and his eyes were impossible to ignore, but it wasn't beautiful grey eyes she pictured when she thought of her dream man. The blush deepened when she did picture that man, and it wasn't what she expected. She still sometimes pictured Squall as her boyfriend - his intense and wintery glare, the fullness of his lower lip and his flawless skin. But, instead she found herself unconsciously picturing eyes so dark they seemed to go on forever. A warm and carefree smile. Dark reddish skin and big strong arms. "I meant... for you..." She mumbled into her chest, praying to Hyne that Quistis couldn't notice how red Rinoa's face was.

Quistis stared up at the ceiling, Rinoa's comment about Jurgen the guard slowly processing in Quistis's mind. Her train of thought, normally like the futuristic Estharian models, now chugged along like an ancient steam relic. Yeah, she'd noticed him. How could she not with eyes like that? But, it's not like she was having great luck with men. The two most important men, or people of either gender, were now gone. She didn't even want to start thinking about Nida and the fact that he was a murdering piece of shit who stole Seifer from her.

Murdering... "You said that Squall went with Fujin?" Quistis asked dreamily.

"Yeah," Rinoa answered quietly.

"Maybe..." _Maybe Fujin got a call from Irvine. Maybe Irvine got some news about Seifer since he's still got ties to Garden. Maybe Squall went after Seifer...?_ She actually meant to say all of this out loud, but the drugs in her IV drip were really starting to affect her.

"Awake already?" Tiernan asked good-naturedly. "Well, sort of," he added when he leaned over Quistis and saw the glassiness of her eyes.

"I'll just wait outside." Rinoa started to rise, but Quistis was holding her hand like a vice. "I'll be right back, okay? I promise."

After a moment, Quistis nodded slowly, and disentangled her hand from Rinoa's. Rinoa shuffled out into the hallway, and her face started to get hot again when she saw Raijin loitering.

"Hey, she okay?" He asked, concern knitting his dark brows together.

"Yeah, she's fine. It'll take more than a stab wound to take her down."

"_You_ okay?" He asked, putting a friendly hand on her shoulder. "You got stabbed too, ya know?!"

"I'm fine," she whispered, finding it hard to look into his face. Instead she stared at his mouth, but found that kind of distracting, too. Same with his neck. There was something very nice about the way the muscles of his neck swept into the muscles of his shoulder. So, she settled on looking out a nearby window. Nothing had actually changed between her and Raijin, but to her it felt like it had. Realizing that she thought he was attractive seemed to change something between them, though he was completely unaware of it. "She's hurting more from losing Squall and Seifer."

Raijin sighed, and it caused Rinoa to break her personal embargo on looking at him. "Squall's not dead, though..." It sounded so sad and alone, and made Rinoa see that Quistis wasn't the only one who felt suddenly all alone in the world. Seifer and Fujin were all that Raijin had, aside from Tia, his on-again, off-again girlfriend back in Dollet. His parents had died in a car accident when he'd been a Garden cadet, so his friends had become his family.

"I'm sorry," Rinoa murmured.

"Don't apologize, ya know?!"

"I feel like I should. I still kind of feel..." Rinoa started fiddling with the ends of her hair, then the ring on a chain around her neck. It was alone now. She'd taken Squall's ring off it, though she hadn't had a chance to give it back to him yet. "I feel like I'm as bad as Xu or Nida or all the others in Garden. I didn't believe in them. Maybe things would have turned out differently if I hadn't been so blinded by me and Squall falling apart. That I wanted someone to blame. Anyone except for myself."

"Playing the 'what if' game never works, ya know?!" Raijin muttered, leaning against the wall and crossing his arms. "Seifer was always a big fan of it. What if I'd never been so stupid and listened to Ultimecia? What if I'd listened to my gut and turned away from her at the Timber TV Station? What if I'd told Squall sooner how I felt about him? What if I'd just let her kill me?" His voice was soft and sad when he spoke of Seifer so frankly. "All those things, no matter how painful, happened for a reason. Those things happen in life so we can learn from them and grow. And, you shouldn't think you and Squall was your fault."

"It wasn't entirely Squall's fault, either," she pointed out, wanting to defend him.

"I know. You two had a lot of pressure on you to be this fairy tale couple. Yes, there was love and affection there, but it wasn't what everyone wanted it to be, ya know?! That's a lot of pressure to put on two people. You looked for an easy answer, for someone to blame. Squall looked to disassociate and fall into a world where he could disconnect. And, you just couldn't communicate about it. But, it happened so you could learn from it. I'm sure next time you have a serious boyfriend, you'll go about things with more maturity."

"Wow," Rinoa breathed, feeling even more affection towards him. "That was... amazing. Have you ever considered being a psychiatrist? How could anyone ever say you're dumb?"

Raijin laughed and sheepishly ran his hand through his short hair. "Nah, I could never be a doctor. Hey, wait... who says I'm dumb, ya know?!"

"I... um... oh, no... I didn't mean it like... err..."

Raijin laughed again and she joined him, out of embarrassment at first, but then it became genuine. It was a really nice sound. There wasn't much to laugh about lately. "I just wanted to come see how Quistis was, ya know?! I gotta get back to the orphanage kids. I promised Edea that I'd help watch them."

"She says that they adore you." Rinoa opened her mouth, something like 'and I can see why' nearly tumbling out. She snapped her mouth shut, cheeks reddening again. She could feel a sheen of sweat growing on her back.

"I think they just like climbing on me and touching me with sticky hands and accidentally kicking me in the crotch," he grumped, but she knew he was only teasing. He adored children. "See ya later, ya know?!" He touched her on the shoulder before leaving.

"Bye," she called, watching him leave. She was still smiling from the laughter they'd shared only a moment before. When she reached up to her shoulder, her skin was still warm from his touch.

----

"You know it won't matter if she finds him or not," Astor said cordially, as if they were having small talk about the weather and other stupid pleasantries. "It's far too late for him. Now, I really do hate going back on promises, and I did solemnly swear to Seifer that I would rape and kill you as revenge. Do you wish to know why?"

"No."

Astor laughed, a thoroughly unpleasant noise. "As taciturn as usual, Squall." He opened his hands and let the knife and the rod drop to the floor. "I've always liked that about you. How about we settle this as men? Or, barely a man, in your case. More like a woman, or a bitch. I really don't care for picking on women, but promises are promises."

Squall wouldn't let Astor get a rise out of him. How could his anger rise any farther, anyway? He just let Hyperion and Lionheart fall to the floor as well, the clatter echoing through the hallway. And, then they were rushing each other. Squall felt a fist connect hard against the side of his jaw, just as his fist drove up into Astor's diaphragm. Astor's greatest strength was in magic, but he was no slouch in the martial arts department. Squall was stronger physically, but his rage and terror about Seifer were making him just slightly sloppier than usual and it cost him in the form of a heavy blow to the side of the head. He was slammed into the wall, and Astor's hands were grapping at his legs and hips, trying to bring him to the ground.

Squall kicked up and his heels slammed into Astor's collarbone, sending the other man flying backwards. His body skidded down the highly polished floor of the hallway, making a high-pitched squeaking noise as his skin slid against the unforgiving tiles. As he was tumbling, his hand closed around the hilt of one of the gunblades, and Astor threw it at Squall. Squall had to duck to avoid getting chopped in half, and the large sidestep gave Astor a chance to recover. He rose to his feet again and charged Squall. He had just enough time to recover so that Astor's fist into his mouth didn't knock him out. Squall grabbed the front of Astor's bloodstained shirt and yanked the other man closer to him so he could slam the top of his head into Astor's mouth.

Their bodies were almost irreversibly twisted together as they exchanged blows meant to cause as much pain as possible. Squall swallowed a yelp when he felt a few ribs crack. To make up for it, he slammed his fist into Astor's ribs several times in quick succession, breaking his ribs too. They tackled each other against the walls, trying not to be the first one to stumble. Squall kneed Astor hard in the meaty part of his thigh at the same time that his fingers clawed at the other man's face, going for his eyes. Astor jerked his face from side to side, avoiding getting his eyes ripped out. He snapped his teeth at Squall's fingers, digging them into the side of his hand. Squall closed his fingers around Astor's nose and mouth and dug them in, crooking one digit so he could fish hook him. Even though he had his hands full with Astor's very capable martial arts, Squall was very aware of every second that was ticking by. Another second that may have been Seifer's last. Another second where Fujin could have been sitting by Seifer's cold, mutilated corpse. Another second where Seifer could be struggling to breathe. Another second where they could be together.

He then felt himself falling. As he'd head-butted the other man, Astor had tangled their legs together to bring Squall to the ground. Astor's fingers gripped Squall's head and pulled his hair, driving the back of it into the ground as they fell. Squall's vision went starry upon impact, and there were multiple copies of Astor's face leering over him. Astor's fists rammed into Squall's jaw and cheek, intense pain shooting across his entire head when a blow connected with his mouth. Probably a fractured jaw. But, just because Squall was down and had a freely bleeding head wound didn't mean he was out for the count. Not by a long shot. Even though he felt like he was going to throw up or black out, he punched Astor as hard as he could in the torso. His gloved fists connected with Astor's ribs, his diaphragm, his stomach, his sides. Seeing his own black leather hands connecting against the brown and red stains brought Squall clarity. Seifer's blood

Rage surged in Squall and he started hitting Astor harder than he'd ever hit anyone in his life. Not just to beat him into submission, but to kill him. He wriggled his way out from under Astor's weight, pushing up from his shoulders, ploughing his feet into Astor's lower stomach as he did. It sent Astor sprawling. He tried to roll away from the deadly intent that were Squall's punches and kicks. However, Astor wasn't quite fast enough in one shoulder roll, and his hand got caught under the merciless heel of Squall's boot. Bones loudly crunched and ground together. Astor groaned in pain, but didn't give Squall the satisfaction of screaming. Squall stomped down with his heel again, this time on Astor's wrists. Squall wanted him to scream. Scream like Seifer screamed. He wanted to cause Astor that kind of pain. He wanted to hear Astor beg for mercy, and then show him none, just like he'd shown Seifer none. The delicate bones snapped loudly, but again Astor didn't scream. Inside, he wanted to so fucking badly, but he just grinned through it, rolling his eyes up to look into Squall's face. His eyes were dark and stormy with rage, but his face gave away none of his broiling and surfacing emotions.

Squall fell down upon his opponent, straddling his waist and beating him like a madman. He couldn't hear if Astor was screaming or begging him to stop, or even laughing through the pain. All he could hear were Seifer's screams, pouring from Eden's mouth and from the recording in Xu's inbox. He was drowning in it. It was breaking his heart and filling him with guilt. And, then it shorted out. The screams became a horrible buzzing as pain moved through his body, concentrated in a small spot on his breastbone. Astor had reached around with his good hand, and found the electrified staff he'd borrowed from Luchia. He'd driven the electrified end square into Squall's chest. The force of the voltage blew Squall backwards, his limbs writhing and twitching as his heart accelerated to a dangerous rate.

Astor jammed the staff into Squall's belly this time, Squall's back arching off the floor as an involuntary groan of pain tore from his mouth. "Seifer did this to you once, didn't he?" Astor asked casually, punctuating his words with quick yet agonizing jolts to Squall's torso. Squall could feel his skin searing upon contact, and smell the burning of his leather jacket and the cotton shirt underneath. "He tortured you in this exact same way. I can only assume that you forgave him." Astor pressed the side of the staff to Squall's throat, pressing down as he lowered his body on top of Squall's, straddling his hips. Squall gasped and sputtered for air as Astor pressed the staff down harder.

"Did it turn you on?" Astor asked dangerously. There was no playfulness in his tone. His eyes held only malice and the promise of pain. The same look Seifer would have seen in his eyes. Squall spit up into Astor's face, and was awarded with a hard punch in the mouth. Stars shot through his eyes, and his vision went entirely black when his head was slammed against the floor. The blow stunned him, and Astor used the chance to roll Squall's body over, pressing the electrified tip of Luchia's weapon into the small of Squall's back.

"Did Seifer do this to you, too?" Astor asked as his hands tugged at Squall's belt. Astor had his knife back in his hands, and was cutting away the leather strip, and now gripped Squall's hips. "Did he have his way with you, Squall? Did he fuck you under Edea's orders? Did he make you a real woman?" He taunted laughingly.

Squall groaned and started bucking as Astor started to pull his pants down. Fury welled in him with each of Astor's taunting words. And, that was exactly what Astor wanted.

"I wonder if Seifer enjoyed shocking you as much as I do," Astor whispered in Squall's ear, fingers digging into his hips so roughly that Squall could feel his skin bruising. He could feel hips pressing down against his buttocks, which were now partially exposed. Squall tried to squirm and kick as he felt Astor fumbling with his own pants. His hips were slammed into the ground, and it painfully jammed his testicles under his thigh. He was then punched in the back of the head as his legs were being forced into a spread-eagle position. Astor leaned over Squall's back and whispered into his ear, slithery black poison worming into his brain. "Too bad it's too late to ask him."

Squall's vision went red. Astor's erection pressed down against him, but he didn't feel it. He could only feel the blood rushing hot through his body, and the pounding in his ears deafened him to all else. His body almost moved of its own accord, fuelled by the desire for vengeance. For revenge. Squall was barely even aware of his hips arching up and his legs twisting up and coiling around Astor's thighs like pythons. Squall arched his back and brought his legs up and forward so he was doing a reverse somersault, bringing Astor's bulk along with the lower half of his body.

Astor wasn't prepared for this, and his weight awkwardly pitched forward. Squall's ribs screamed in protest at the unnatural contorting of his torso, but he didn't care. He would put himself through anything to avenge Seifer's treatment at Astor's hands. Squall squeezed his legs harder around Astor's thighs and pitched him further forward. Astor's own weight also helped the momentum, so that his head slammed into the wall with a loud crunch. Squall immediately disentangled himself from Astor and slapped his hands against the ground to vault himself into a crouching position. From the low center of gravity, he twirled in a low kick that looked like a combination between a floor sweep and a roundhouse. The boot of Squall's combat boot slammed into Astor's temple. His foot and the wall acted like a vice and pinned Astor's head, letting Squall add pressure until the ball of the boot crunched Astor's orbital bone. He then stomped on Astor's knee, shattering it and preventing him from escaping on foot.

Squall took his eyes off the other man briefly to look at the floor around him. Hyperion lay only a few meters away. Astor's knife was even closer, and the owner saw it first. The knife came flying at Squall, and he did a quick shoulder roll, but the blade still whizzed past his upper shoulder, cutting through leather, cotton, skin and muscle. He could feel the heat of the blood bursting from the split in his skin, and the wound ripped open, more blood gushing out, as he reached out for Seifer's gunblade. His fingers closed around the hilt of the gunblade. As he rose to his feet and turned to face Astor, blood poured down his arm and the blade of Hyperion. Astor was trying to crawl towards Luchia's electrified staff. Squall stalked over and instead of grabbing the weapon away from Astor, he swung Hyperion in a light downward arc, and cut through the back of Astor's boot, right through his Achilles tendon, then the same vital tendon in the other ankle. Now there would be none of his attempted escapes.

Astor wheezed in pain, awkwardly rolling onto his back so he could look up at Squall, and was immediately met with the star-shaped end of Luchia's staff. It was jammed into the side of his face and cranked up to high voltage. Squall looked down at Astor as he writhed and screamed, his cheek blistering and smoking. Squall turned the knob and increased the electricity that was shooting into Astor's body. His cheek started to blacken and the skin curled and peeled away from the muscle like charred paper. Astor was screaming at the top of his lungs, and it echoed nauseatingly through the hallway, but they weren't the screams that Squall was hearing.

"So, you think it's an uneven playing field to fight a woman, do you?" Squall asked. He could only hear Seifer's screams falling from Eden's mouth so couldn't hear his own voice. If he could, maybe he would have been disturbed by the cruel coldness in it. Astor's pants were still bunched down around his hips, so it made it rather simple to cut his genitals away from his body. The blood burped out from the wound in a grotesque heartbeat of liquid red. They were still attached by a flap of skin, and Squall reached down and physically did the rest of the work, ripping Astor's penis and testicles away from his body, holding them tightly in his fist.

"All right, we're even now, right?" Squall asked calmly over Astor's hysterical screaming. He put his hands to the hole there, and because he'd been erect at the time, all the blood flow had been concentrated to that area. So much blood...

"Come on," Squall demanded, gripping the front of Astor's bloodied shirt in his fist. Now Seifer's blood was buried under the wet, pumping geyser of all of Astor's blood rushing out of his body. "What, you can't fight now?"

Astor groaned, blood pouring from his mouth as he was jerked around like a stuffed toy.

"Whatever pain you're feeling now isn't enough," Squall whispered, their faces only millimetres from each other. "I hope what you did to Seifer, you feel tenfold."

Astor couldn't respond, and could no longer even scream. Squall held onto him tight, watching Astor's eyes carefully as he died. He watched life be extinguished. He felt Astor's last breath puff against his cheek, the blood dripping from his crotch deafening with violence.

"Squall!"

Squall blinked a few times and looked away from Astor's face, frozen forever in a look of pain and terror. It was like he'd been in a trance.

"Squall!" Irvine called again, jogging down the hallway towards him. His step slowed when he got a good look at the gory scene. "My God..."

Squall dropped Astor's corpse to the ground where his dead weight made a horrible squelching noise when it landed in a deep pool of blood, and looked at his hands. The gloves were slick with blood, and he was still holding Astor's genitals in his fist. He slowly crouched beside the body and pried the mouth open further, stuffing the body parts inside. He knew that Xu would be one of the first to see Astor like this, and he wanted to give her a message.

"You okay?" Irvine asked. It was hard to tell if any of the blood splattered all over Squall was his own.

"I think my jaw is cracked," he muttered. He could still talk, but now that the adrenaline was leaving his body, he could feel the intense pain when he did. And, the even stronger pain when he breathed. "Ribs, too." He slowly rose to his feet, looking at his shoulder. It was bleeding pretty freely. He slowly did up his pants, only now just realizing they were still partially undone.

"Here." Irvine picked up Astor's knife and cut away a strip from the bottom of his hooded sweatshirt. He used it as a bandage and tied it tight to staunch the blood flow. "Will you think badly of me if tell you I've never been more sexually attracted to you than right now?"

"Did you...?" Squall couldn't even begin to ask that question. He didn't want to believe Astor about it being too late for Seifer, but it was just too much to ask that he could have survived for this long.

"No, I was trying to get some info out of the computer terminal." He tucked Astor's knife into his belt and watched as Squall picked up both gunblades. "I haven't seen Fujin, though."

"She went downstairs."

"All right." Irvine used his foot to kick up the electrified staff, and gracefully caught it on its upward arc. He looked over his shoulder at Squall, and his face got that still seriousness in it that nobody had really ever noticed was there. "You're always so quick to give up. Even when you shouldn't."

Squall frowned, blinking a couple of times. He wanted to believe what Irvine was saying so fucking much. No. He couldn't let Astor bait him like this. If he did, Astor would win. Even though he was dead at Squall's feet. " ...you're right."

"Huh," Irvine murmured as they walked towards the stairwell. Squall could feel blood squishing around in his boots. "I don't know if I've ever heard you say that before." Irvine went down first, shotgun pointed out in front of him, knife held with the tip towards the floor. His footsteps were silent and stealthy, but Squall just pushed right past him, stalking into the hallway of the lowest level, not caring if he wasn't being sneaky. Let them come.

But, nobody did come. This hallway looked similar to the one above it. There wasn't nearly as much blood, but there were a handful of dead bodies. "I guess we can just follow the carnage," Irvine said, completely deadpan. Squall couldn't understand how Irvine could be so light and make jokes at a time like this, but then he had a rare moment of social awareness. He had to keep it light, or else it made things too real for him. This wasn't a hit. He couldn't just disassociate and think of his Galbadia Garden training. This was Seifer. One of his closest childhood friends. A man that he cared about and loved very much.

Squall's breath came out in a shaky moan when they came to one of the small cement rooms. It stank of a mixture of burning flesh, something like motor oil and human waste. The floor had ugly, old brown stains on it. Blood that would never, ever come out. Blood of people just like Seifer, who'd died here alone and in pain. In the corner of the room was a trap door, the lid flung back. Fujin was kneeling at the lip, looking down into the hole. There were two bodies on the floor beside her. One was a very young looking man in a SeeD uniform that must have been brand new. The other was Seifer. Fujin was cradling him in her arms, murmuring to him as she stroked his bloodstained hair, and doing something that nobody had ever seen her do before. She was crying.

Under the floor was a small hole, just big enough for a human to fit in. The floor was even more grotesquely stained than the room above. That's where he'd been kept when he wasn't being tortured. Seifer was completely naked, skin totally splattered with blood, just like Squall. Except for, unlike his lover, the blood on Seifer was all his own. His right leg was bent at a horrid angle, the bones stark and white where they'd ripped through the skin and muscle of Seifer's thigh and calf. His back was to Squall and Irvine, and they both knew what they'd heard boiling on the audio in Xu's inbox. It had been the oil they were smelling now, and it had been poured down the right side of Seifer's back. The skin was blistered and pitted, black where the skin had burned and where dried oil was still stuck to it. Through the blood, they could see star-shaped burns all over Seifer's body from Luchia's staff.

Squall's eyes burned as he looked down at the wrecked thing that had once been such a proud man. He started panting, finding it impossible to gain air. That smell in the air was Seifer's burning skin. He must have been in so much pain. He felt Irvine's arm wrap around his shoulders, trying to be comforting. But, what comfort could there be?! When Seifer's body jerked and he made a sputtering noise, both Squall and Irvine gasped in shock, Irvine's bordering on a yelp or screech.

"He's _alive_?" Irvine asked in shock. His voice seemed so loud in the nightmarish room, and the sound of it actually frightened him.

"Seifer!" Squall breathed, Irvine's arm dropping off his shoulders as he moved towards Seifer, coming around to the front of him. He kneeled on the dirty floor, biting back a moan of horror. The skin of Seifer's left eye, cheek and brow had been flayed away, so the muscle was stark, red and wet. It hung in a flap around Seifer's eye, so when his lid fluttered, the skin moved like a macabre flag. It was very disgusting, but Squall was too overjoyed to care. The sight of Seifer alive was absolutely beautiful to him. He tore off his blood soaked gloves and cupped one of Seifer's hands between both of his own. Seifer's skin was hot with fever, and a few of his fingers were broken, the nails ripped off. He must have tried to claw at the trap door in a desperate attempt to escape. Squall took in the rib jutting through Seifer's skin, the cuts and small puncture wounds in his abdomen, and lower... there was a nail through Seifer's right testicle, poking through the top of the scrotum and out the bottom. The testicle must have burst, because the skin had no shape within it and was mismatched to the left side. It also looked very angry and red with infection. Squall swallowed a noise of horror. He didn't want Seifer to hear it.

"Squall's here..." Fujin murmured to Seifer lovingly, her voice shaking and sounding so vulnerable. There was no anti-magic field in this room, so Fujin was able to cast some cure magic on her friend, though all it really did was dull Seifer's pain a little. This was something that simple magic couldn't cure. Seifer needed a doctor, and fast. She looked over at Squall, and none of the anger or hate was there. Only fear and love for Seifer. Seifer's eyelids fluttered, some kind of thick tear-like fluid coming from them. None of the trio wanted to open his eyes to see what it was. They were too worried about doing more damage.

"Seifer?" Squall whispered, touching the uninjured side of Seifer's face. "Baby, can you hear me? We're going to get you out of here."

Seifer made a small mewling noise, mumbling nonsense. Though, he did repeat something that sounded like 'call' over and over amidst the feverish gibberish. The unfelt emotions locked deep within Squall curled and tried to free themselves when he realized that Seifer was trying to say 'Squall'.

"How are we going to get him out of here?" Irvine asked. He looked at the gurney in the room, crouching to see if it was moveable. "Yes. Wheels." He moved away some sort of apparatus that was snaked up and over the bed. It was tubing attached to some kind of drip, and was connected to a bottle of regular household bleach. "Oh... Fuck..." Irvine muttered, smashing the stuff away from the gurney in horror. "That tape said 'eye thing'. Oh fucking Hyne..." He muttered under his breath, checking to see that the wheels on the gurney worked. "They were pouring bleach in his eyes," he hissed, wheeling it over to where Seifer was laying. "Fucking bastard. Goddamn fucking bastard," he cursed, finding the mechanism that lowered the gurney to ground level. "Okay, on his side so he's not laying on his back and his broken leg is on top. On three," he instructed. "_Carefully_."

They gently lifted Seifer onto the gurney. He let out a moan of pain, and Squall had to bite back a sob. They wheeled the gurney towards a service elevator, Irvine keeping his shotgun out. Squall never let go of Seifer's hand, and kept whispering in his ear so Seifer would know that he was safe.

"How are we going to get to Esthar?" Fujin asked, sniffling.

"I guess we'll have to put him in the back of one of our trucks. Is there enough room in yours?"

"It'll take forever to drive back there!" Fujin moaned, so uncharacteristically frazzled. "He could die!"

"I know!" Irvine shouted back, also losing his composure. When the doors open, Irvine had the twin barrels of his gun pointed out and ready to blow anyone's face off who was waiting for them. "Clear," he murmured when he was sure it was safe.

"We're going to take you home," Squall whispered in Seifer's ear. "Quisty's waiting, and probably ready to kick my ass for leaving her behind."

Seifer sputtered for breath and moaned. His breathing sounded wet and laboured, and each of Squall's own breaths brought him searing pain. But, that didn't matter. Seifer was alive. Squall's own pain was nothing.

"Squall?" Odin's voice called from outside. He hovered in the doorway, unable to cross the anti-magic runes. "He's alive...?" Odin couldn't feel Seifer's energy through the barrier.

"Not for much longer if we can't get to Esthar," Irvine warned.

"I have taken care of that," Odin assured. When they crossed the barrier, he felt Seifer's feeble energy flow into him. He reached out a metal hand to touch his Master, but then pulled away. His touch would not heal Seifer and with such weak vitals, and that much magic could possibly kill him. "You foolishly disjunctioned Shiva and didn't bring her," the great swordsman chided Squall like a disappointed father. "I found her wandering in the Great Salt Lake, trying to follow your aura."

"Squall!" Shiva exclaimed, running towards her Master like a lost child catching a glimpse of her parent. She was in human form, and collected him in a cold hug. "Why did you leave without me!?"

"I was only thinking about him."

Shiva nodded and looked down at Seifer's face. "You must hurry to the train. Garden has many spies in this town." She started leading them along at a quick pace.

"I've glamoured the crew of a light train, and they will unknowingly take you into Esthar. Though, Shiva and I cannot come with you. Garden has set up check-points along the tracks, and they would sense our magical energy. You must disjunction Leviathan, as well," Odin commanded of Irvine. "We will rejoin you once you pass the Estharian border. In the meantime, I will try to contact Quistis Trepe and your father."

"He needs water," Squall urged. Seifer was wheezing, and sweating profusely from the fever. "Just lead us to the goddamn train!" Squall snapped at Odin.

"I will disguise you as best I can, but too much magic will bring Garden's lapdogs," Odin murmured, leading them further into the heart of Fisherman's Horizon.

"We're almost there," Squall urged to Seifer, who'd slipped into unconsciousness. Luckily they got to the train without incident. Squall was almost ready to thank Odin for the help, but didn't.

"Keep on guard," Shiva urged when they wheeled Seifer's gurney into the train car that Odin pointed out. "The glamour may wear off, and there has been a hefty reward placed on your head, Squall. It means that Garden soldiers aren't your only enemies anymore."

Irvine disjunctioned Leviathan, whose human form was young boy with reptilian eyes millennia older than his body. "I will sssee you sssoon," Leviathan murmured to Irvine. His voice lisped like a snake, and his tongue, though human shaped, was split down the center.

"HURRY!" Fujin hissed, helping Squall get the gurney into the empty car. It was a posh, private car that was usually reserved for diplomats or other important people.

"In the sleeping compartment," Irvine commanded, pushing Fujin's back towards it. "I don't trust that Odin's glamour will hold out. I'll stay out here. If someone sees me, they more than likely won't know that I've betrayed Garden yet." He started loading his shotgun.

"Get in the bed," Squall said to Fujin tersely. There wasn't enough room for the gurney and the both of them.

Fujin did so without argument. They kept the door open wide enough that they could hear Irvine, and he could peek inside in case he was needed.

"Shit!" Squall suddenly hissed after a few moments of tense silence. "He stopped breathing." He bowed his head over Seifer's, and as gently as he could moved Seifer's head so he could perform CPR. Fujin put her hands on Seifer's chest, wincing each time she pumped down over his heart, mentally apologizing for the pain she knew that would cause to Seifer's broken ribcage. As they began to try and will life into Seifer's body, the train lurched and started to move forward.

"Don't you dare fucking give up now," Squall threatened just before he breathed air into his lover's lungs again. He watched Fujin pump down on Seifer's chest again, counting the beats. Each time Fujin pressed down, blood welled up around the broken ribs poking through the skin. He breathed into Seifer's mouth again, shouting "Come on!"

"One, two, three, four, five," Fujin counted under her breath. She could barely see through her tears as Squall breathed into Seifer again. "One, two, three, four, five." Again she counted. Again Squall breathed air into Seifer's lungs. The train picked up speed and started to race towards Esthar, and Squall and Fujin continued to work in time to save Seifer's life.

---

"No."

"Laguna..." Kiros began, ready to state his argument all over again. The two men were cloistered in one of the strategy rooms. "You have to think about your people, Laguna. If something happened to you"

"No," Laguna said again, arms crossed and eyes blazing.

"It could start a war! You need to go back to the Palace, where you'll be better protected. Where security is tighter."

"I'm not the target, Kiros."

The much taller man pinched the bridge of his nose. "Maybe not today, but what happens tomorrow? Xu and Garden are obviously getting desperate. How much longer until she realizes that she could use you to bring Squall out, especially now that Seifer's gone? And, we don't even know where Squall went."

"I'm not abandoning him again!" Laguna shouted.

Kiros jerked back in surprise. Laguna had never risen his voice to Kiros like that before, not in all the years they'd known each other. He slowly let out his breath, searching Laguna's face with his eyes. How could he argue? Laguna's eyes were brimming with tears, and he looked on the verge of falling apart. He was losing his son all over again, and staying here was the one way that he could still extend his hand to Squall, wherever he was.

"I don't know if he's going to come back, Laguna." On the surface, it seemed like such a heartless thing to say, but that's the way their relationship was. Kiros always pointed out the stark reality. Laguna would have been insulted if his dearest friend had tried to mollycoddle him, even at a time like this. Even about Squall. "He's been on suicide watch since he came here."

"I won't leave. Not when there's a chance."

"One more day," Kiros finally relented.

"He went after Seifer," Laguna said quietly, slumping into an old, battered chair. He looked so much older. "I wish I could have been more like him back then. I should have gone back home. I should have said 'fuck Adel and fuck Esthar', and gone anyway. She was more important than any of that."

"And, Ellone would have died, or worse. She would have become one of the Ladies In Waiting, or have been given to Azabaashe. You were where Raine wanted you to be." The Ladies In Waiting were girls that Adel thought had potential to be her successor, and had either been completely mentally crippled by Adel's psychological abuse, or had been outright lobotomized. Those were the lucky ones, since it meant that Azabaashe hadn't gotten to have them.

"But, would she have wanted me to leave Squall in an orphanage for all those years? He needed me."

"Cid and Edea took care of him."

"He needed me. And, I was trying so hard to make up for it... I wonder if I ever actually saw him for who he was. Maybe I just had this ideal for him, and pressured him into a life he didn't want to live. Because I was blinded by Rinoa being Julia's daughter, maybe? He probably never felt comfortable telling me about Seifer."

"Stop." Kiros put his hands on Laguna's shoulders and gave him a firm shake. "You can't blame yourself out of helplessness. It wasn't your fault, just like it wasn't Rinoa's fault, or even Seifer Almasy's fault. Squall's responsible for his own actions."

Laguna sighed and flopped his head down on the table, forehead connecting with a dull thud. "I wish I knew how to help him. He's not like Elle."

"There's a lot of your stubbornness in him," Kiros affectionately said. He looked over his shoulder when he heard a knock at the door. Laguna raised his head from the table quizzically. The soldiers knew not to interrupt when Kiros and Laguna were talking behind closed doors. The fact that it was Tiernan opening the door didn't bode well. He never would have barged in on a private conversation between his husband and a man who was essentially his brother-in-law. Not unless it was something very serious.

"Sweetheart, what happened?" Kiros asked, stepping forward and touching Tiernan's shoulder.

"Is it Quistis?" Laguna asked, quickly rising from his chair. "Is she...?"

Tiernan held up his hands, knowing that Laguna was about to start on a nervous ramble. "She's better than fine. That girl could survive an explosion. It's about Squall. Sorceress Rinoa just got contacted from outside by Alexander. Odin came back, saying that Squall and Fujin are riding a light train towards the Palace, and they have Seifer with them."

"What...?" Kiros asked, brow furrowed deeply. "But..."

"Alive. For now, anyway. Odin warned that he's seriously injured, and should be dead. I've already phoned ahead to Randorf to expect them." Randorf was the chief of the emergency room at the Royal Palace Hospital, the premiere hospital in Central Esthar. It was also within the Palace, and was where Tiernan normally worked as a surgeon.

"Is Squall okay?" Laguna demanded.

"I think so. I think he was in some kind of fight. Odin said he has broken ribs and maybe a broken jaw, and other internal bruising. You need to authorize a military airship back to the city. One that can transport an injured passenger," he added, meaning Quistis.

"Right." Laguna clapped Tiernan on the shoulder and headed for the door. "I guess we're going back after all. But, it's not because you said so."

"Of course not," Kiros answered dryly as Laguna swept out of the room like a whirlwind. "It's bad, isn't it?" He asked when he and his husband were alone.

"Yeah. Poor Rinoa was collapsing in tears having to tell me everything." Tiernan sighed, in that way he usually did when he was given a case where there was no hope, and treatment was just dulling someone's pain as they died. "He's delirious from fever, brought on by infection. He'd been tortured for days. Severe and prolonged electrocution, broken and mangled leg, broken ribs, stab wounds, massive burn on his back from boiling oil..." He leaned forward and rested his chin on Kiros's shoulder, his cheek against the other man's. Tiernan's skin was milky and snowy white compared to the deep cinnamon of Kiros's flesh. "Skin flayed away from his face, bleach in his eyes, impaled testicle. Hyne knows what else once someone actually gets to look inside him." His voice was robotic, but Kiros knew better. Tiernan always carried the hard cases with him. The many people he'd seen in his career who'd been tortured beyond saving. People like his family. His childhood friends. "I hope I don't have to tell Squall that even after risking his life, Seifer's going to die anyway."

---

Once they'd crossed the Estharian border, Odin had appeared in the car to inform Squall, Irvine and Fujin that he'd contacted Alexander. He, or rather _it_, would then pass a message onto Rinoa, who would tell Laguna. And, more importantly, Tiernan. When Odin had felt Seifer's aura, he'd known his injuries, and was able to tell so the doctors and healers within Esthar could be ready. Squall himself also needed a doctor, but his pain was of little concern to him. Seifer had stopped breathing two more times during the train ride to the Palace District of Central Esthar, but they'd brought him back both times. Though the light train was very fast, the trip felt like an eternity, and Seifer's fever was getting worse by the minute. Even the fact that they'd gotten to the hospital quickly and without incident held no comfort.

"Mr. Loire!" A nurse or administrator or whoever called when they carefully wheeled the gurney into the Palace's emergency room. People in Esthar who recognized Squall as Laguna's son, but didn't know him personally, often referred to him as Mr. Loire rather than by his mother's surname. He got tired of correcting them, so had stopped bothering some time ago. "Dear Hyne!" She exclaimed when she saw Squall, noticing him before Seifer. It was kind of hard not to notice that he was completely covered in dried blood and gore.

"He needs help."

"Yes, of course." The employee squared her shoulders and composed herself. "Dr. Murphy-Seagill just arrived an hour ahead of you and informed us all." More nurses and hospital staff came filing out of nowhere and took over around Seifer's gurney. Squall had to will himself to let go of Seifer's hand as they wheeled him towards the emergency surgery wing. "I love you," Squall whispered in his ear, so quietly that it was strictly private. Just between them. Squall watched them take Seifer away, seeing only him and the slight motions he made. The proof that he was alive.

"Squall!" Laguna shouting his name. It sounded like it was coming from above water. Muted. On another planet.

Laguna spotted Squall, standing alone and looking so lost. He started jogging towards his son, horror rising as he realized Squall was covered in blood. But, when he saw Irvine, he stopped dead in his tracks. At Kiros's insistence, he'd been carrying his trusty old machine gun since Quistis had been attacked, and he was now pulling it out and pointing it dead at Irvine's chest.

"Whoa!" Irvine exclaimed jovially. Nurses and passing doctors and attendants gasped at the sight of the gun, but nobody moved to disarm their President. Irvine raised his hands and gave a charming grin to the older man. "C'mon, Laguna... you wouldn't really shoot me, would you?"

Laguna grinned in turn, his smile just as carefree as Irvine's. Then, it vanished into a mask of icy coldness. It was the kind of look people saw on Squall's face all the time, but on Laguna's it was very unnerving. "To protect my son? You bet your fucking ass I would."

"Stop..." Squall murmured quietly. His voice was like dried leaves on the wind. Crackling and vanishing. He was still standing in place, watching the doors Seifer had disappeared through. "It's okay."

Laguna's eyes were unfriendly slits, but he did lower the gun. He dropped it completely on the floor and rushed to Squall, taking his son's face between his hands. Squall winced at the pressure against his jaw. It had started to swell, and his eyes were bruising under the dried blood.

"It's not my blood."

"Great Hyne!" Laguna exclaimed wearily. "I should wring your neck, you little bastard." He brought Squall to his chest in a fierce hug. Squall's entire concern was still with Seifer, but he couldn't help the moan that was wrenched from him. Each breath felt like lava had settled in his lungs, and the pressure of Laguna's well-meaning and loving arms made Squall taste bile on the back of his tongue.

"God! Sorry, sorry!" He gestured wildly towards a nurse for a wheelchair. Squall normally would have protested, but the fact that he _didn't_ told how sore he was starting to feel. The adrenaline was seeping away, leaving only pain and worry.

"Wait!" Tiernan called, coming into the emergency reception area. He was wearing scrubs and ready for surgery. "Squall, there isn't a lot of time to wait for Seifer's medical records to be faxed from Dollet. Do you know if he has any medicinal allergies or medical conditions?" In an aside to the nurse, he discreetly said "Only give him this once, then go to low dose."

"No," Squall rasped out as Laguna gently pushed his shoulders down to make him sit in the wheelchair. Some nurse appeared out of nowhere and was turning Squall's arm over, trying to find a vein to attach an IV tube to. "Not that I know of." The jab of the IV couldn't be felt in comparison to the pain in the rest of his body.

Tiernan nodded briskly. "All right. We'll take care of him." Squall noticed he didn't say that Seifer was going to be okay. He was being vague on purpose. He didn't give Seifer much hope. Nobody ever had. And, he'd always proven them wrong. The thought made Squall smile in spite of himself. The motion didn't even hurt. Whatever was in the IV was kicking in, making him feel like his head was floating away from his body.

He could feel Laguna walking beside him, could feel the way Laguna's hand shook as he stroked Squall's hair. He was saying something about Esthar having the world's best doctors and medical equipment. He was saying Tiernan would do whatever he could, call in whoever he could, to make sure that Seifer pulled through. He felt his eyelids getting heavier from the painkillers. It made him feel light and faraway. The same feeling that booze and cocaine gave him. He could see himself enjoying this. And, Tiernan had seen that immediately in Squall. He probably got a lot of patients who wound up addicted to their painkillers.

Laguna was nervously rambling about how Tiernan was one of the best doctors in Esthar. He would touch Squall's hair, then his shoulder, then his arm, but Squall couldn't really feel it. The painkillers put him in a fog, and all coherent thoughts were about Seifer. But, then the sound of _her_ voice cut through it all.

"Squall?!"

He blinked and looked up. Quistis was ghostly pale and wearing a white terrycloth bathrobe. Her hair was loose and her eyes were bright and furious. Serino was sitting on her shoulder, and made a worried little peep when he saw all the dried blood covering Squall.

"Why did you leave?" She demanded hotly. She crouched before his wheelchair, wincing as she did.

Squall noticed. "You're hurt."

She hated how he said it. So distant and impersonal. Whatever had happened to make him so covered in flaking, browning blood, it hadn't opened the cold steel walls around his emotions. "A Garden assassin came in, dressed as an Estharian soldier."

Squall could see a soldier in his peripheral vision, shadowing Quistis. But, Squall's eyes never left her face. "I didn't want you to get hurt," he mumbled. Despite the painkillers, talking was still a chore.

"Stop talking!" Laguna urged, seeing his son's discomfort at speaking. "Your jaw is probably broken!"

"WHY?" Quistis demanded, grabbing Squall's arms roughly. "Why did you leave me behind? What were you thinking?"

" ...I brought him home."

Quistis didn't think she'd heard the tiny whisper correctly, but Squall's words slowly sunk in. He'd gone to bring Seifer back. Seifer was here. "He's...?"

"He's hurt real bad."

All her anger seeped away in the form of a few lone tears trickling down her drawn cheek. She heard the wobble in Squall's drug-addled voice. He was afraid. "He's alive?" Her hands moved down Squall's arms until she was holding his hands in her own. "What about Xu?"

"Dunno."

"Quistis, can you ask him later?" Laguna asked, both understanding and impatient at the same time. "He needs x-rays and treatment."

"Can she come?" Squall asked, not letting go of her hands.

"Whose blood is it?" She asked as she slowly walked beside his wheelchair. There was too much red for it to all be Squall's. Jurgen was walking a dozen paces behind her. She knew he was armed, but he was pretty good at making his gun suddenly seem like it wasn't there at all. His presence was kind of comforting. She didn't have to look over her shoulder for the first time in a long time, because he would watch for her.

"Astor," Squall grunted.

"Dead?"

He nodded slowly.

Quistis squeezed his hand, feeling him feebly squeeze back as she said "Good."

---

Kiros didn't turn on the light when he silently entered Tiernan's office. He could see the pale green scrubs nearly glowing in the dim bluish light that permeated through the whole city, even in here. Tiernan was laying on the sofa, taking a mandatory rest until it was his turn to go back into the operating room. The couch was wide enough that slim Kiros was easily able to lay on the couch beside his more muscular husband. He wrapped his arms around Tiernan's body as he spooned him. The scrubs were clean and smelled of a mixture of astringent, talcum powder, and Tiernan's spicy aftershave. It was a familiar and comforting smell to Kiros. The first time he'd ever met Tiernan, he'd been wearing scrubs that had smelled that exact same way.

"You going back in?" Kiros whispered in Tiernan's ear after he kissed the back of his neck. After sleeping next to a person for almost fifteen years, you got to know when they were awake and when they were asleep.

"In four hours," Tiernan murmured, twining his fingers with Kiros's, and bringing his arm further around his waist. His voice sounded strained and exhausted. He slowly let out his breath and melted in the comfort of Kiros's embrace. "Diane is with him now." He was talking about a doctor named Diane Roth, an old friend and a very successful plastic surgeon. "Mmm, there," he murmured when Kiros's free hand started rubbing his sore shoulders, and found a tense knot.

This was by far not the first time that Tiernan had taken breaks during lengthy surgeries, and normally he didn't elaborate about anything going on in the theatre, so Kiros was surprised when Tiernan spoke next. "I don't even know how he's still alive. Realistically, he should have died days ago. Sheer willpower, I guess."

"You know what? Quistis Trepe told me that his mother was Dinara Von Munster, so it makes sense."

"Really?" Tiernan slightly rolled over so he was on his back looking up at Kiros's face, seeing only the highlights in the limited light. Kiros didn't know of La Draconia aside from word-of-mouth, but since Tiernan was Estharian, he knew more of her. Though he'd only seen her in pictures, she was a bit of a legend among those who'd been oppressed under Adel's brutal and tyrannical rule. Someone who'd actually stood up to such a monster. "Yeah..." He said as he thought of Dinara's face in those old photographs, then Seifer's when he'd met him at Ellone's wedding. "Yeah, I guess he is."

"I wonder if that means he'll be a target..." Kiros trailed off.

"I know you and Laguna think... he's still alive, but he's not." Tiernan said sourly. They'd had this discussion probably a hundred times over the course of their dating life and marriage. Kiros couldn't remember if Tiernan had ever actually said Azabaashe's name once during all those talks. "Can we not talk about that right now?"

"Of course," Kiros answered. He held Tiernan tighter against himself, wrapping both arms and legs around the other man. This was a ritual for them. Tiernan would relax and let the tension melt from his body under Kiros's touch, and then he'd be ready to go back into a difficult operation. The survival rate of these kinds of lengthy procedures wasn't very high, so it was always hard for a doctor to come back to a patient that may have died on the table despite all their work. Kiros stroked his long fingers across Tiernan's brow and around his pale eyes, the worry lines vanishing. Tiernan smiled up at Kiros in the dark, feeling the warmth of his skin through his lightweight linen shirt. He would never take Kiros for granted. As he saw daily, life was just too precious.

---

Eighteen hours later, Squall was sitting in an uncomfortable plastic chair that did nothing to make his injuries feel better, watching as doctors and nurses scurried in and out of the emergency surgery wing. Some were reading charts and pointing out things. Some were chatting about what they were going to do on their days off. Golf and tennis and brunches with so-and-so. Some doctors were wearing their lab coats over smart outfits, their faces guarded and sombre. Off to give someone bad news about a loved one. Someone like Squall. Would Tiernan come out of there, wearing his lab coat over a grey or black outfit, looking handsome and coldly distant? Would he stand there and robotically tell Squall that the most important person in his life had finally given up and let himself die?

Quistis was sitting beside him, holding his hand for dear life with her other hand stroking through Serino's thick fur as he slept in her lap. Laguna would periodically tell them to go get some rest, but they wouldn't move. No matter how sore his ribs got now that the heavy painkillers were out of his system, Squall wouldn't budge. Raijin was also keeping the agonizing vigil with them, pacing back and forth, stopping dead whenever someone in scrubs or a lab coat pushed open the doors to the emergency wing. Out of the three of them, he was the most distraught looking. Squall wasn't letting himself feel anything, and Quistis was being stoic and brave. More for Squall's benefit than her own. She didn't know if she'd be able to keep that same bravery level if Tiernan really did come out and tell them Seifer was dead.

Rinoa would sometimes come and sit beside Quistis, or stand with Raijin and hold his hand. She didn't speak to Squall at all. It was way too horrible a time for them to hash out any dirty laundry, and Squall wasn't much interested in talking with anyone. Fujin hadn't made an appearance at all. Raijin wasn't surprised. She couldn't handle the idea that Seifer wasn't made of steel. He'd seen her briefly, and the look in her eye was one that he never thought he'd ever see before - fear. Fujin and fear didn't go well together, so she was staying away. She and Irvine were chained to a computer, trying to crack the data he'd stolen from the terminal in Fisherman's Horizon. Though getting Seifer back was all that was on Squall and Quistis's minds, there still was the huge issue of Xu and Garden. They couldn't even really bring charges to her about Seifer's torture since Garden had its own code of conduct and punishment. Besides, Seifer was a wanted criminal, accused of being an accessory to Cid Kramer's murder. He was Ultimecia's Knight. He'd almost been successful in resurrecting Adel. The public didn't care about cruel and unusual punishment against such a man. Not as long as Xu was painting him to be top public enemy.

Laguna looked over when he felt Squall's head come to rest against his shoulder. Though he kept telling Squall he should go lay down, he wasn't leaving either. He would sometimes be called away on governmental business, but then would come right back to sit in the chair beside Squall. He'd missed so many important moments in Squall's life, and he didn't want this to be another in that long list. Squall's eyes slid closed, and when his temple bumped against Laguna, they snapped open. He sat up again and shook off the fatigue. He concentrated instead on the pain in his ribs that he had to suffer through. There was unfortunately no cast for a broken ribcage.

"You should sleep," Laguna whispered.

Squall just stubbornly shook his head.

"You can't keep your eyes open."

Squall just shook his head again. If Seifer could survive everything Xu and Astor did to him, Squall could surely survive for a while without sleep. Even as he thought this, he had to fight his eyelids. They felt so heavy, and his head lolled against Laguna's shoulder again. He felt the warmth of his father's arm drape across his shoulders, and a kiss against the top of his head.

He wrestled against the fatigue, and his tired eyes snapped open when he heard Laguna say his name. From the way his mouth tasted and how stiff his neck felt, he'd failed against the tiredness. He hated himself for falling asleep. And, when he blearily looked up and saw Tiernan looking down at him, standing like a cold, distant statue, he hated himself even more. He'd fallen asleep, and Seifer had died.

"It's okay," Tiernan assured, briefly gripping Squall's shoulders. He'd seen the terror lurking under the icy surface of Squall's eyes. His emotions were like the great shadow of Leviathan trapped under the frozen crust of an arctic ocean. There and lurking, but not allowed to come to the surface. His eyes were so radically different than Laguna's in that regard.

"He's okay?" Quistis gasped. Her breath was stuck in the back of her mouth.

"He's alive," Tiernan corrected. He'd changed into some clean scrubs, but the sweatiness and exhaustion still hung on him. "He's still very critical, and we induced magical coma."

Squall disentangled himself from Laguna and Quistis and stood so he could look up into Tiernan's pale eyes. "I want to see him."

"Not just yet. He's in recovery right now, but he'll be moved to a room within the day. Squall, I..." It was the first time he'd seen Tiernan look so uncertain. "He shouldn't be alive."

"But, he is."

"I don't know what kind of mental damage he may have suffered from oxygen loss and the electrocutions. He may not even ever wake up. Surgeries of this magnitude are sometimes as damaging as the actual injuries. I've been told that he is of the dragoon lineage, correct?"

Quistis nodded, gripping Serino tightly to her chest.

"That means he has no surviving relatives that could be a perfect match for cornea donation. But, he is of Estharian blood, so the wait may only be a couple of months if we're lucky."

"He's blind?" Raijin asked in hushed tones. He'd come to stand beside Quistis, and put a firm hand on her shoulder. More to hold himself up than to comfort her. Rinoa stood silently beside him. She'd come to check on Seifer while Squall had been asleep. Her dark eyes were red-rimmed from the tears she'd shed for Seifer.

"Yes. They poured bleach or some similar mixture into his eyes. It looks like it was done slowly, so it's mostly surface damage, and can possibly be repaired with a cornea transplant. We'll have to see after a few days after we run more tests. He'll also need further surgeries on his leg. We put pins and rods in it, but if it doesn't heal well, there's still a fair chance of amputation. He's still got a high fever from the infection started in his groin. His lungs are weak, and one collapsed when punctured by a broken rib, so he's on machines to help him breathe. There was also a lot of internal bleeding and bruising, and we had to do a lot of stitching up to his stomach and kidneys. He's also at risk to further infections from the burns on his back, and the flaying of his facial skin," Tiernan explained brutally, voice not rising above a calm monotone. "There is a strong chance of massive organ failure within the next few days, and particularly within the next 24 hours."

"Isn't there any good news?" Raijin asked desperately.

"He's alive," Tiernan answered. "That's miracle enough. I believe dragoons held high physical constitution, so that could be the answer. But, I believe it's his willpower that's doing it. His heartbeat is strong, which is a very encouraging sign. Even with his fever, he was still trying to say your name before we put him under anaesthetics, Squall. That's a very good sign that he was mentally lucid. The facial lacerations were clean, so Dr. Roth was able to reattach the skin on Seifer's face and do a couple grafts, and there should be minimal scarring. We were unable to save his left testicle, but there shouldn't be any further nerve damage or loss of function. In a few days, we'll see how his heart is holding up, and remove him from the breathing machine. If that's successful, and the fever goes down, his chances will look much better."

"He's in really good hands." Laguna wrapped his arms around Tiernan and gave him a grateful hug. He barely knew Seifer, but he was so important to Squall that he became important to Laguna, too.

"I want to see him," Squall said again.

Tiernan patiently replied with "Soon. Please get some rest, Squall. You're not exactly healthy right now, either. Both of you." He gave a stern look to Quistis, as well. "I'll let you know when you can see Seifer. I promise." He put his hand on Squall's shoulder and gave it a squeeze before going towards his office to do paperwork and to rest.

"No," was Squall's grunted response.

"Doctor's orders. I'll have the guards drag you there if you don't go."

"You heard him!" Laguna ordered. "All three of you," he added, poking Raijin in the chest with a finger. "Come on." He put his hand on Squall's back and started ushering him towards the telepod.

Squall shrugged away from Laguna's touch. "I want to see him."

"Squall..." Laguna began tiredly.

"NO!" Squall shouted. "I want to see him! I have to!" His voice echoed loudly in the hallway. "I have to..." He repeated, voice quavering. The outburst caused a few tears to come down his cheeks. "I... I need to... to ap-ap... apologize..." Squall gasped. His voice was breaking and stuttering with the weight of his emotions pressing against it. His eyes were so full of tears that it blocked everything out of his vision. Now that he'd let a small part of those pent-up emotions reach the surface, the rest of them were following. It was like the power of the ocean cresting a levee. "I... I-I-I... I should h-ha-have saved hi-him," Squall whispered, trying to hold his breath. As long as he held his breath, it wouldn't come out. He tried to tell himself that, but it was still welling inside him in a big, painful swell. "I should h-have... bel-believed in him. I s-s-shou-should have saved him s-s-ooner..."

Laguna felt so helpless as he witnessed Squall collapsing. The tears started flowing freely and quickly as he gasped for air and some control over himself. It was the worst feeling in the world as a parent when you knew that you couldn't save your child from pain. All Laguna could do was catch Squall when he fell. And when Squall's face crumpled and he let out a small sob, that's what Laguna did. He reached for his son and hugged him tight when a loud wail tore from Squall's throat. It was a heartbreaking scream of agony, like his heart was being ripped out. Laguna knew that noise well. He'd made it the day Raine died.

The agony poured out of him, formed in screams that fell into Laguna's chest. Squall balled his father's shirt in his fists, unable to hold himself up. His dead weight was too much for Laguna to hold up alone, so Laguna let himself sink to his knees, gently bringing Squall down with him. Squall gasped for air as he sobbed, his pain and sadness and guilt overtaking him. The sobs burned his broken ribs and swollen jaw. Each breath was searing fire, each heartbeat was a ragged wound. All the emotions that he'd locked away raged out of him, and all he could do was cling to Laguna as he drowned in it.

Laguna held Squall fiercely and silently. He knew there was nothing he could say at a time like this. His shirt front was soaked through with tears and snot, and Squall eventually began to grow quiet against him. Squall sniffled and clenched the wet fabric of Laguna's shirt harder in his fists. He felt completely raw and empty, and it was only compounded by the gentle warmth of Quistis's hand on his back. The comforting warmth. The love. He was even too drained to feel the humiliation he would have normally felt for breaking down like this at all, let alone in front of a bunch of people.

Laguna tried to urge Squall to his feet, but Squall murmured incoherently and refused. He started to try and wrestle against him, but was then held from behind by much stronger, larger arms. Raijin, who'd stood in completely silence as Squall emotionally collapsed, was now holding him, and jabbed Squall's arm with a syringe a nurse had given him. It was full of sleeping serum, and it almost immediately caused Squall's body to fold like an envelope.

Laguna sighed, looking up at Raijin. "Can you take him to his room?" Squall was only an inch shorter than he was, so he wouldn't have been able to carry his son's dead weight. But, Raijin was so much larger than both of them.

"Of course," Raijin replied, voice thick with emotion. Being very empathic, it had been very hard for Raijin to watch Squall come apart at the seams like that. Squall always seemed so unflappable to him, and he'd never personally witnessed any of Squall's drunkest or highest moments, so this had been rather shocking to him. In his arms, Squall seemed so tiny and frail. So human. He felt like precious cargo. Squall's feeling of helplessness where Seifer was concerned wasn't mutual. Raijin wanted so badly to help his mentor and friend, and just didn't know how. The only thing he could do was to watch over Squall while Seifer couldn't.

---

The smell of ammonia and heavy-duty cleaners stung Luchia's eyes and nose, but she didn't utter a curse under her breath. She didn't complain at all as she cleaned up the gore that had once been Astor. She and Astor had worked together for a long time, even before becoming SeeD, but she didn't necessarily care that he was dead. Her only 'regret' was that he'd lost control of the situation. She'd known it was a mistake to let Seifer Almasy live. They should have just let Nida's bullet kill him, or put one in his brain themselves. If they had, maybe she wouldn't have found Astor here with his severed genitals stuffed into his own mouth.

She also thought that Xu had lost control of things. She wasn't here cleaning up giant pools of blood because she had deep feelings about Xu. Her only real deep feelings were for duty. People often compared her to Squall Leonhart in that regard, which she thought was highly incorrect. She'd culled her emotions for duty years ago. Squall was just too shy to let his out. No... Xu had let things get out of hand. Luchia really did think that Garden would be better, more efficient, under Xu's control, but she'd let her personal vendettas get in the way, and her desires for a man. Those weaknesses had let her give herself over to Eden. The manufactured GF was no longer a weapon - it was a possession.

Luchia raised her head from the mopping when a different kind of smell caught her sense and completely broke through the harsh chemicals. It was old and musty. Like someone had opened a box that had been sitting in a damp basement for ten years. A closed up room. An opened crypt. There was nothing in the room besides the pile of dead SeeD, with Astor laying on top, all waiting to be burned. Luchia leaned against the mop handle and sniffed at the air. It smelled unpleasant, but she couldn't nose the source.

She turned back to the ugly task at hand, the mop head now saturated red. She'd need to replace it again. Once again, the musty smell filled the air, and she actually showed a moment of annoyance as she turned around to face the heap of bodies. Maybe one of them was starting to turn. The facility wasn't warm, but they had been dead for almost two days now. Nearly anyone else would have screamed when they saw that there was someone standing in front of the corpse heap. But, Luchia's reaction of shock was a raise of her eyebrows and a slight parting of lips. The exhalation of surprised breath was barely audible.

"I didn't mean to startle you, Miss Blackwell," the man greeted pleasantly. He held up his hands to show that he was unarmed. His skin was as pale as her own, though it looked more like illness than natural complexion. His hair was thinning, grey and brittle. So was the thick moustache on his face, a few years out of style.

"How did you get in here?" Luchia demanded, her arm immediately going behind her, where her staff was strapped to her back.

"Through the front door," the man answered pleasantly. His clothes were a little out of style, and that's where the smell seemed to be coming from. It was like he'd chosen a suit that had been stored in a musty attic for a couple of decades. "I really do mean you no harm. I just came to deliver you a message." Keeping one hand up as a gesture of harmlessness, the mysterious man used the other to reach into the moth-bitten coat. He pulled out a thick ivory envelope and extended it.

Luchia just looked at him, but he held the envelope out patiently. He was in no rush. "What is this nonsense?"

"I'm merely a messenger, Madam. It was deemed best to come to you while you weren't with your commanding officer." The man spoke with an accent that sounded somewhat Estharian, though a little different than the ones she was used to hearing from Esthar's public figures.

"What kind of message?"

"I know not. I was only bidden to deliver it, not read it." He stared at her evenly, and his eyes left stone-cold Luchia feeling chilled for other reasons entirely.

Luchia stood staring down this man for five long, long minutes. His arm didn't waver as he held the envelope out to her. There was an old-fashioned seal closing it up, some kind of crest imprinted into the black wax. Luchia's curiosity finally won out, and she took a step towards the man. When he didn't move to attack, she took another. She came only close enough to snatch the letter out of his hand. This close, the musty smell was nearly overpowering. Once she had it, his arm dropped. The expression in his eyes never changed. Actually, there was _no_ expression. Awareness, yes. But, no feeling. No light. Even Luchia's cold glare reflected the light around her and showed human thought processes lurking under the thick ice. Not his.

"Contact information is within. I hope you will seriously consider what's written inside." The man dipped his head in a respectful bow, and turned to leave.

"Wait," Luchia commanded. Normally, nobody would have ignored her when she stated such an iron order, but the man kept walking as if he'd suddenly gone deaf to everything around him. The envelope felt cold and thick in her hand. She took a few steps to go after the messenger, but some sort of instinct inside her caused her steps to halt. Some primal human sense told her to stay put. She brought the envelope to her nose. It smelled only slightly musty, but in the way paper naturally does when it was as old-fashioned as this expensive parchment. No, the smell had been coming from the messenger.

Luchia examined the seal in the wax, but it was one she'd never seen before. It looked like a raven with wings spread, perched on a pointed crown. She flipped the envelope over, and saw _Miss Luchia Blackwell_ written in very elegant script. As she examined her own name on the envelope, she thought of the messenger's strange eyes. So dull and flat looking and drained of colour. She traced the handwriting with her fingertips and sniffed at the envelope again, overtaken by a thought that seemed completely insane, yet seemed so coldly plausible. Could it be true that this letter had just been delivered by a dead man?


	14. Chapter 14

****

Chapter 14

The first day was the hardest. When Squall woke up, he found himself in bed with Quistis and Serino. He felt sluggish from the drugs, and when he tried to sit up, his ribs punished him brutally. He struggled to a sitting position, sweaty and out of breath. He mechanically showered, but found that he was paying more attention to his appearance than he had in days. He shaved carefully, made sure his hair was presentable. He also particularly made sure he smelled nice. He did this all subconsciously, wanting to please what senses Seifer could still use. He put on clean clothes and made his way to the hospital wing, all without waking Quistis. He knew she wanted to see Seifer badly, but he wanted a few moments alone with him first.

Tiernan finally relented to let Squall see Seifer, but only for a little while. Squall was made to change the nice black sweater and slacks he'd chosen to wear in favour of surgical scrubs. He had to also wear the sterile paper slippers and surgical cap and mask. Seifer was still prone to infection, but Tiernan was pleased to inform Squall that Seifer's fever seemed to have broken. It was still high, but wasn't climbing. It would go completely away within the next twenty-four hours.

"You should stop being so surprised if you're going to be Seifer's doctor," Squall had said. His voice was still dull, but there was life in his eyes again. "He doesn't give up easily."

What made the first day the hardest was when Squall got his first glimpse of Seifer. Somehow, seeing him all bandaged up like this, hooked up to machines and tubes, seemed so much worse than when he'd been covered in blood. All the casting and white bandaging just hammered home how many injuries Seifer had. He was laying on his left side. Luckily, if anything could be considered lucky, most of his injuries were to the right side of his body so he could easily be laid in the hospital bed.

Squall, in his papery scrubs, sat in the uncomfortable chair beside the bed, not knowing where to touch Seifer. There wasn't much bare skin. His face was mostly bandaged up, but half his mouth was free so he gently kissed the set, parched lips and touched Seifer's palm, very careful around the finger casts. Seifer's skin still felt very warm, and very much alive. Squall hadn't thought that he could have any more tears inside him, but they came as he watched Seifer sleep, his eyes taped shut with pillows of gauze. Did he even know that Squall was there? Would he ever wake up from this coma?

The second day was a little easier. They still had to wear the scrubs, but Squall was allowed to stay longer, and Quistis and Raijin were also allowed in at the same time as him for a small fraction of time. Rinoa wanted to come in, but Tiernan worried about her magical aura and how it would affect Seifer's precarious magical and physical immune system. So, she could only stand outside and watch through the window. Serino would sit on her shoulder, naturally drawn to her magic. Faeries gravitated to magic like moths to light. Even Diablos found himself wanting to be near the Sorceress when she would come outside to visit Alexander. Squall would stay until Tiernan came to throw him out. He would leave only after placing a very gentle kiss on Seifer's half-bandaged mouth. Did he even feel it? Did he know Squall was there? Did he know he was in Esthar? Or, did he think he was still under Astor's malicious hands, either strapped into a gurney or locked under that horrible trap door? Was he even aware at all...?

And today. The third day. Squall was once again banished to the hallway, and now he carefully watched Tiernan's shadow through the window looking into the room. He was giving his patient one last exam before he took Seifer off the breathing machine. The magical coma had been lifted that morning, but Seifer hadn't woken up. The magic was just to _keep_ him in the coma he was already in.

"She should be here," Raijin muttered under his breath, pacing. "She should totally be here."

Squall watched as Tiernan started to turn off the breathing machine. His fingernails dug hard into his palm. He kept digging them in, watching every muscle in Tiernan's back. He studied every move, every twitch, trying to read them. He seemed tense and nervous. From outside the room, they couldn't hear the heart monitor beeping, but Quistis's hand constricted around Squall's wrist and Serino let out a small chirp of dismay when they saw the line's smooth pattern disrupt and become jagged peaks and valleys. But, Tiernan just watched instead of immediately trying to get a crash cart or give Seifer any more drugs in his IV drip. After a few moments, the heart monitor evened out, and became a constant pattern.

"Thank Hyne," Quistis breathed, leaning into Squall and pressing her cheek against his neck. Serino petted Squall's hair from his perch on the brown-haired man's shoulder.

Squall slowly let out his breath, only now realizing that he'd been holding it the entire time. He unfurled his fists, and felt the wetness of blood trickle down his palm.

"He's okay, right?" Raijin demanded even before Tiernan was completely in the hallway.

"Yes," he answered, a relieved smile playing on his lips. Seifer really was one of the most miraculous patients he'd ever had. "I'll keep a close eye on him over the next 24 hours, but right now it's very promising. Aaaannndd..." He held his arm out to block Squall, who was already moving to go back into the room. "No visitors until tomorrow."

"Bullshit!" Quistis exclaimed in protest.

Tiernan gave her one of those stern, fatherly kind of looks. "I want to make sure his immune system won't take a dive now that his body has to do more work. And he needs rest. So do you. You all look terrible. Oh, and get your hands bandaged up, Squall." He patted Squall's cheek and made his way to the nurse's station.

"He didn't even look at your hands," Quistis marvelled. "How did he know...?"

Instead of looking happy about Seifer's progress, Raijin's dark eyes were even blacker with anger. "She should have been here."

"You mean Fujin?" Quistis asked.

Raijin grunted irritably and started to stalk towards the telepod hallway. The hospital had one of the largest concentrations of teleporters in one spot.

"You going to find her?" Quistis asked, falling into step beside the large man as she dragged Squall behind her. Serino fluttered off Squall's shoulder and came to rest on Quistis's. "I'll come too. I want to find out if she and Irvine were able to crack that hard drive info." Squall tried to pull away from her, but Quistis would have none of that, and he could only follow.

They got to the telepod, and Quistis automatically waited for Jurgen to join them. She was quite used to his presence by now, and found him impossible to shake. She'd tried a couple times, but it didn't take him long to catch up to her. Rinoa would ask not-so-subtle questions regarding Quistis's opinion of Jurgen. Quistis knew that Rinoa thought he was a good match, and she found that the idea got less silly each day. But, it still didn't stop the former Instructor from turning the tables on Rinoa by asking her about Raijin. The way Rinoa would look at him when she thought nobody was looking hadn't escaped Quistis's notice. The way she would blush and immediately change the subject away from romance also spoke volumes.

"Where's Rinoa today?" Quistis asked casually when she, the moogle and the three men had seated themselves in the telepod. It's thin, protective barrier rose, and they started floating along the rails.

"Huh?" Raijin broke out of his angry funk. "Umm, I think she was meeting with Edea today, ya know?! She's been neglecting her lessons because of Seifer. I should probably text her to tell her Seifer's okay. At least she cares."

"Fujin cares," Quistis defended as Raijin pulled out his phone.

"I wonder," was his tense reply. "Tia never texted back yet..." He trailed off. His anger became sadness. "I want to talk to her, but I don't know if Garden's watching her. It might put her in danger if they know I've been in contact with her. But, I guess she doesn't want to talk to me. Maybe she doesn't want to because of what everyone's saying about Seifer, ya know?!"

"If she loved you, that wouldn't matter. But, maybe she's not contacting you for the same reason you're not contacting her. She might think Xu's watching her."

He just grunted as the telepod stopped.

"You know anything about hacking a computer mainframe?" Quistis asked of Jurgen as they walked towards the room Irvine and Fujin had commandeered. She never spoke much to the grey-eyed guard, but still felt like she knew him.

"Some, but I don't think that I would have more knowledge about Garden's systems than you would."

"Maybe they just need fresh eyes" Quistis wondered aloud. But, she didn't quite believe her own hopefulness.

"I will, though. Look at it, I mean..." He offered, sounding uncharacteristically nervous. Quistis also noticed the tentative flirtatiousness. He sounded embarrassed about it, knowing that it wasn't the best time for this sort of thing.

"I appreciate it," Quistis answered diplomatically. She knew that she felt some sort of attraction to Jurgen, but didn't know what to do about it. Her mistrust of others was still so high that she didn't want to let anyone in. She may have been talking to Rinoa again, but there was till a barrier there that she wasn't too keen on letting down just yet. Rinoa, and even Raijin, Fujin and Irvine, were left just at arm's reach. She wasn't sure what would happen with any other SeeD. Would she ever be able to forgive them? Would Selphie and Zell ever make their way past these new protective shields? Would Rinoa and Raijin? Would anyone besides Squall and Seifer? As she thought this, she cast a sidelong glance at Jurgen. Nida's betrayal was so raw and fresh that she couldn't look at any man in a potentially romantic light without thinking of it.

Raijin stormed ahead of them towards the alcove where Irvine and Fujin were huddled together in front of a laptop. They looked tired and rumpled, and the floor was littered with empty pop cans and paper food containers with forks sticking out from within them. Fujin barely had time to look up before Raijin was yanking her to her feet. Irvine blinked and looked up in surprise. Not just because of Raijin's sudden and uncharacteristic anger, but also because nobody ever manhandled Fujin. Ever. He rather expected that his Neptune would literally rip Raijin's arm out.

"Why the fuck didn't you come up?" Raijin hissed, hunched down so he could glare into her eye. His face was very pale with anger.

"UNHAND," she demanded simply, looking down to his hand around her arm, then back up to his enraged face.

"He could have died, ya know?!"

"We're trying to find a way to stop Xu," Irvine pointed out calmly.

"He needs you there."

"SO WHAT?" She shouted back, wrenching her arm away from him. "He's a fucking VEGETABLE!"

Raijin's fist came up as fast as a cobra, and in his heart he had been ready to strike her. It frightened him enough that he lowered it again before he could follow through with the punch. He brought that hand to his mouth and looked at her. Fujin blinked and she looked as surprised as he felt. In all the times she'd been physically abusive with Raijin, he'd never raised a hand to her. It just wasn't in his heart to be violent, and that he really had been ready to punch her was shocking.

"He knows we're there," Raijin whispered. "And, he needs us again." His voice broke, and he still couldn't look at Fujin with anything other than distaste. When Seifer had been so low after Ultimecia, there hadn't been any hesitation on Fujin's part to be at his side. He hated her for not staying by his side. He hated her for turning her back on them and not being brave enough to see Seifer at his weakest. But, maybe he could have forgiven it if she wasn't sitting here instead, associating with Sol. He knew deep down that Seifer hadn't wanted the life Irvine had offered as Jupiter, but Fujin embraced being Neptune. Some of these underlying feelings must have shown in his eyes, because Fujin's expression became closed and cold.

"I don't want to watch him die."

"You've watched other people die, right? Why is it so different this time?"

Fujin opened her mouth to let out a furious, monosyllabic retort, but Raijin cut his large hands through the air, not wanting to hear anything she had to say right now. "Whatever, ya know?! I don't want to hear it."

"RAIJIN!" Fujin called angrily as he turned his back on her and stormed up the hallway. He didn't make any motion that he'd heard her.

Quistis instinctively reached her hand out for Squall. Seeing two such close friends at odds made her yearn for his closeness. But, her hand gripped around nothing. She looked beside her then over her shoulder, but Squall wasn't there. "Squall?" She asked quietly.

"He went in there, kupo." Serino pointed to a room to the right.

"Squall?" Quistis gently called from the doorway. It was a dimly lit, posh office. Squall was standing in front of a sideboard, his back to her. The top of the sideboard was covered in fancy alcohol bottles, probably for after-meetings drinks, or to woo somebody important.

"What the _fuck_?!" Quistis demanded, stalking across the room and slapping Squall upside the head. They both let out a hiss of pain after. Quistis, because the quick raising of her arm pulled at her stab wound stitches, and Squall because of his cracked ribs.

"I didn't drink any," Squall muttered mulishly. "...even if I wanted to." He slowly put the bourbon back, fingers playing almost lovingly down the bottle's neck. He could feel Quistis's eyes drilling into the side of his face. "I remember what I was like in Timber, okay?!" He stated angrily. She was now on a level that only Seifer shared, where he could know her thoughts without her having to say anything. "I was just... smelling it." He touched the bottle again, really wanting to drink from it.

"He wouldn't blame you if you fell, Squall. Just as long as you picked yourself up again."

"I'd blame me."

"You can't make him the only reason for sobriety. That's too much pressure to put on him."

Squall sucked on the inside of his cheek. "I'm not" He stopped, knowing whatever he was going to say next would be a lie, at least partially.

"I know there are a lot of AA groups within the Palace alone. You really should go, at least to a one-on-one counsellor." Even though they were in Esthar, and at least relatively safe as long as they stayed within the sanctuary of the Palace, their mistrust of anyone outside their triumvirate was palpable.

"Quisty..." Squall began sharply.

"We aren't in the Centra mountains anymore," she replied, just as sharply. "We're back in the real world, and we have to deal with our real world problems."

"What real world?" He snapped, turning his head and glaring at her. "We aren't part of society. We're wanted criminals. Every day we're here puts Esthar in danger of war, and Seifer is in a coma. So, what's the fucking point?" He could feel wetness on his fingertips from where he'd touched the bottle when opening it. Some alcohol must have splashed out, or been trapped in the cap. It felt warm and inviting on his skin, and his helpless anger made his need for that warm liquid rise. He couldn't help himself and brought his fingers to his mouth, licking the bourbon off them. The hot, sharp taste of the alcohol exploded in his mouth like heaven. It was such an alcoholic thing to do, the way he was almost obscenely licking all the alcohol off his fingertips, but at that moment he didn't care. The euphoria only lasted a brief second before regret and shame kicked in, but it was such a strong, perfect moment that he savoured it.

Quistis just watched in disgust, shaking her head. "We're still alive. All _three_ of us," she answered quietly. Bitterly. "That's the point."

Squall just glared at her because he knew she was right, and hated it. She left the room, and instantly was saddened by even the slightest argument with Squall. With Seifer comatose, and possibly that way forever, Squall was all she had. Again. But, she didn't go back in the room. She didn't want to watch him start drinking again. She'd seen the desire in his eyes to fall off the wagon, and she felt so helpless because she really didn't blame him for wanting to escape into his alcohol-fuelled world. So, instead she watched Fujin and Irvine, hunched over a laptop trying to crack the mysterious email. It made her feel just as helpless. It was a futile effort. They'd never be able to unlock the information. Xu would have been too careful about that. And, she really was waiting for the slightest opportunity to start a war. Their presence was dangerous to Esthar. And, the whole world was dangerous to them.

"I'm going to Seifer's room," Quistis said dully to Jurgen. He'd been silent like a ghost, but always present. "I don't want you to follow me." She stared firmly into his eyes. It was the most eye contact she'd given anyone besides Seifer and Squall in a long time.

"I have to, Ms. Trepe. I'm under orders." He stared right back.

"The hospital wing is already secure. I'll be fine."

"I can't allow that. President Loire gave strict instructions."

"I'll tell him I ordered you to stay behind. I just want to visit him alone, all right?"

Jurgen was silent for a long time, his grey eyes searing her. "Fine," he finally relented.

"Good." Quistis walked to the teleporters that headed back to the hospital wing. But, at a junction, she pressed a button so she could be taken to a different part of the Palace.

"Why didn't you want him to come, kupo?" Serino asked. He could tell that they were attracted to each other, Quistis and this soldier. But, human courtship procedures baffled the moogle. His only experience with the coupling of humans were two men, so perhaps this was something specific to males and females.

"Because I don't want him to ask questions, or try to stop me." She actually felt bad for partially lying to Jurgen, but she wanted to be alone for this part of her trip. She'd meant what she said about wanting to visit Seifer alone, but she wanted to make a stop along the way. They couldn't live like this any longer, and it was time that she stopped letting her life just happen to her, like she always let it, and she finally took control of things.

---

"You okay?"

Raijin sharply took in his breath and jerked when he heard a voice very close to him, and felt a touch on his shoulder. He looked up to see Rinoa standing in front of him with concern washed across her heart-shaped face.

"Sorry," Rinoa apologized. "I didn't mean to scare you. But, I guess you were in your own little world." She didn't comment on how his cheeks were wet and splotchy, and his eyes were bloodshot. "I got your text about Seifer," she said delicately. "Has something else happened?"

"Huh?" He looked at her in confusion as she sat down beside him on the plush leather sofa that was in one corner of his rooms in the Palace. He realized she thought the tears were for Seifer. "Oh, no... he's fine, ya know?!" Raijin turned his face away from her, embarrassed that she was seeing him like this. "If you can even call it that," he added under his breath.

She heard him. "I do. I know he's going to get better."

"I almost hit Fujin today."

Rinoa pursed her lips, taken aback. It was true she didn't know Raijin _that_ well yet, but even when he'd been on the opposing side during the Garden War, he'd held back in their fights, particularly with Selphie, Quistis and herself. "Why?"

"I'm so angry with her. Seifer needs her, and..." He trailed off, feeling emotion rising in him again in the form of tears. "I can't fucking trust her anymore!" He blurted out. He then took in his breath, as if this declaration shocked him. "I can't trust her," he repeated sadly. It killed him to admit it, but it was true. Raijin didn't know if he could ever look at rock-solid, steady Fujin the same way again. She was tainted. "I can forgive Seifer, but..." He looked over to Rinoa. "Why can't I forgive it from her?"

Rinoa thought for a moment, taking one of his large hands in between both of her own. "Maybe... maybe because you can see why Seifer would have become an assassin. Maybe you can understand that he felt he had nowhere else to turn, and that he'd been so damaged by Ultimecia that being a killer was all he was good for. With Fujin... her motives aren't as clear. You don't understand why. Maybe you should ask her."

"She wouldn't tell me. Fujin's so _closed_. Even with us, ya know?! Deep down, I think she just likes it." He bowed his back and rested his chin on his knees. "Or, that Garden made us all like that. I made sure that I never killed anyone, but there was always death all around me. Most Garden cadets weren't so careful. I mean, Irvine's Sol, ya know?! Fujin and Seifer are both in his group. What other SeeD could be?" He blurted out, the words coming like a tide. "Look at Squall! All that blood on him when he brought Seifer back was Astor's. You don't lose that much blood and not die a horrible death, ya know?! Look at what Xu's become!" He stopped himself with a vicious shake of his head. "I... I'm not making any sense, ya know?!"

"Yeah, you are." Rinoa squeezed his hand. "It's stuff you felt for a long time, and it's just coming out now. Fujin being Neptune is just the straw that broke the chocobo's back. I felt the same way. Still do. Like I wasn't part of their world, and never would be. I didn't understand where they were coming from in fights, and I still don't."

"Thanks," he mumbled into his knees. "For listening, ya know?! You've got your own problems to worry about."

"It's all right." She wanted to tell him that it was more than all right. She wanted to tell him how close she felt to him right then, how she wanted to be enveloped in his arms and feel the warmth of his skin. She hadn't been embraced like that in a long, long time. Even when she and Squall had been together, his caresses had been so distant, and she wanted Raijin's _closeness_. But, she didn't tell him. She remained silent.

"Do you... ya know, blame Seifer for breaking you and Squall up?"

"Squall broke Squall and I up," Rinoa replied, fiddling with the necklace she wore. It was a small silver charm shaped like a bone, with the name Angelo engraved in it. A memento of her beloved dog. "I... well, I guess I shouldn't lie, since you were so honest with your feelings about Fujin. I was angry. Maybe I still am. I mean, of course I didn't want any of this to happen to Seifer, but I just wish that they would have told me the truth sooner. It just made me feel so stupid that they didn't think I could handle the truth. I know that Quistis and Seifer didn't think it was their place, and did put pressure on Squall to come clean, but they... I dunno. Maybe they should have just gone against their loyalty for Squall, because the situation wasn't helping anyone. It hurt that they saw me as that naïve and helpless. It makes me doubt myself."

"You shouldn't. Wanting to see the best in people and believe they won't lie to the people closest to them isn't naïve. If it is, then I'm right there with you as the most naïve person in the world, ya know?!"

"That's not a bad thing."

Raijin couldn't help but smile as he wiped his cheeks dry. "Tia said the same thing, ya know?! It sucks that I haven't been able to talk to her. Hope she's not mad, ya know?!"

"She won't be," Rinoa answered quietly, sure she was wincing from the words that dug into her chest like a knife.

"Thanks," he replied quietly, slowly rising to his feet. He put a large hand on her shoulder, then bowed at the waist so he could kiss the crown of her black hair.

Rinoa watched him go, and bit her lips tight together. In that moment of bitter jealousy, she understood what Squall must have felt while they were dating. Had Squall or Seifer hated her, just a little bit, just like she hated Tia now?

---

Quistis looked up from the deep grey coloured silk yarn she was knitting with when she heard the papery rustle of surgical scrubs and gentle footsteps. After her errand, she'd been sitting beside Seifer's bedside in a quiet vigil that had already lasted a few hours. It was nice to have this peacefulness, despite Seifer's severe condition. He wouldn't have blamed her for enjoying it. They still had to wear surgical scrubs, but Seifer's risk of infection had gone down exponentially since his fever had broken. It'd allowed Tiernan to start a magical course of treatment for the more minor injuries.

Squall came to the bedside and leaned over Seifer, gently kissing his set, down-turned lips. These quiet moments beside Seifer were the only times that Squall smiled. He stroked a small patch of unbandaged cheek before settling in his usual chair. The desperation and pleading in his eyes were so painfully evident. As if Seifer would wake up if Squall wished it hard enough.

Quistis continued to knit, but kept her eyes glued to Squall's face. He was only looking at Seifer, touching his hand and gently resting his chin on Seifer's chest. The clicking of Quistis's needles and the beeping of Seifer's machines were the only noise.

"Do I look drunk?" Squall asked. His voice was quiet, but full of venom.

"No," Quistis admitted, only briefly looking down at the sweater she'd started knitting so she could turn it to the wrong side.

"Because I'm not."

"Oh?" She asked casually, starting to purl.

"You were right. Is that what you want to hear?" He asked, rubbing his cheek against Seifer's chest with the most delicate of pressure. He smelled like astringent and medicine, but Squall could smell his natural scent just underneath.

"Naturally."

"I went to an AA counsellor. Privately."

"And?" She lowered the knitting into her lap and looked at him intently. "How'd it go?"

Squall shrugged. "Dunno. Fine. Whatever."

"Squall..."

He interrupted with "There isn't much to tell, Quisty. We just talked."

"It's still hard to imagine you talking about something so personal with a complete stranger. Or, even your friends. Or anyone besides the two of us. Or, even me."

"She can't tell anyone. And, I mean... bottling things up is how I got into this mess. I do learn my lessons sometimes. I just take the hard way around." He smiled gently as he said this, eyes glued to Seifer's face. It was another way that they were _so_ alike.

"He's proud of you."

"I know..." Squall trailed off, voice hitching and thickening.

They fell back into their pleasant silence. It was just the three of them again. They did little and said nothing, but just listening to Quistis's knitting needles and Seifer's breathing, now all on his own, was _complete._ After a nurse broke their sanctuary to check on Seifer's vitals and left silence in her wake once more, Squall put his arms around Seifer's thin waist and lay with him, half on the bed, half in the chair. Seifer's stomach moved up and down under his cheek and felt warm and alive. "Are you going to tell me what that rolled up thing is there?"

"Huh?" Quistis's needles stopped moving. "How did you...?" Her surprise was genuine. She then laughed quietly. "You never cease to amaze me." Her sapphire eyes twinkled with affection behind a new pair of glasses. She started knitting again. "Not here."

"They're blueprints, aren't they?"

She just chuckled again, holding up the partially knitting sleeve to check it out. "We need to stop her," she said firmly, but didn't raise her voice above a hushed, hospital-fitting whisper.

Squall's eyes opened and he looked up at her. "I can't even think about that right now."

"Well, you better," was the sharp answer. "You think killing Astor solved anything, no matter how you did it?" She asked, voice lowering to an intense hiss. She'd never asked Squall exactly what he'd done to Astor, and she didn't really want to know. She was certain it'd been horrible, though. "_She's_ the one that was pulling his strings. And, we need to be free again. We need to save Garden. _And_," she continued when Squall started to open his mouth to disagree on something or other. "Seifer would say the exact same things, except he wouldn't be so diplomatic. He'd tell you that he doesn't want to be someone's prisoner anymore, and that you've spent enough of your relationship sneaking around."

Squall's facial muscles twitched in displeasure. "You're surprisingly deft at trash-talking. You start off so nice, and then it's a quick shiv to the ribs."

"You tend not to respond well to subtlety."

He didn't answer, and glared at her for a while from where his head rested on Seifer's abdomen. Instead of looking at the smug smirk on her face, he watched her fingers as she knit.

"She probably would have made changes," Quistis murmured vaguely. "So, we'll have to compensate." Though they were in a safe place, she didn't want to discuss her plans. The pain in her ribs was a constant reminder that there were Garden spies everywhere, even in what was supposed to be their safe haven.

"And, he just let you take Estharian property blueprints?" He was referring to Jurgen.

Quistis shrugged, the clicking of her needles never wavering. She wondered if Seifer could hear it, and would know that she was there. "I just told him I wanted to visit Seifer alone."

"Him wanting to fuck you had nothing to do with it?"

Quistis opened her mouth, but thought better of her attempted protest. "That's not high on my list of priorities."

"I notice you didn't say you didn't think of him that way. He _is_ attractive."

"In case you've forgotten, Squall, the last time I just went to bed with a man... it didn't go so well. Or, what happened the last time I had feelings for a man?" She looked over at Seifer and sucked on the inside of her cheek.

"But, Xu was paying him."

"That doesn't make it better. And, that doesn't excuse Nida."

"You never considered that he might have been the one to tip Irvine off about Seifer?" Squall waited for an answer, but he didn't get one. Quistis became very invested in her knitting, sliding the needles a little jerkier than normal. He knew that this conversation was over, at least until they got thrown out of Seifer's room, and could talk more freely in their own rooms about the blueprints. So, he concentrated again on listening to and feeling Seifer's breathing. His eyes followed Quistis's fingers, trying to figure out just how she was knitting. It lulled him into a light sleep, occasionally broken up by various noises from the machines in the room.

In his light fits of sleep, Squall daydreamed. And, they were pleasant dreams. Even though Seifer was still comatose and far from being okay, he allowed himself to daydream about future things. They weren't necessarily sexual thoughts, but highly romantic ones. Going out to dinner together and not having to hide that they were indeed together. Staring across the table with their feet brushing one another. Subtly reaching across the table as they ate, fingers mingling over the silverware. Maybe it wouldn't be at a restaurant. Maybe it would just be at home. A meal one of them had cooked. In a place that they shared. That was theirs. Maybe they would be married. Maybe they wouldn't be. But, they _would_ be together.

Squall jerked and gasped in surprise when he felt a hand on his shoulder from behind. He sat up from his hunched position, expecting it to be the head nurse, ready to throw him out. But, instead it was Laguna, grinning down at him. Squall felt his cheeks flush. It's not like Laguna could see what he'd been dreaming, and it had all been completely innocent, but he still kind of felt like he'd gotten caught with his hand in his pants.

"You don't have to be embarrassed about having a... err, nice dream."

"Oh God!" Squall choked out, turning his face away from his father in complete mortification. Quistis's giggling didn't help.

"Everyone has them. Sometimes when I think about your mother..."

"Please. Don't," Squall pleaded tightly.

Laguna chuckled. "Visiting hours are over," he said after the smile wilted a little. "I figured you'd want to hear it from me instead of the head nurse."

Both Squall and Quistis sighed and rose to their feet. They each kissed Seifer, Squall lingering a little longer. When Laguna had turned away, Quistis deftly folded the rolled blueprints and stuffed them into her knitting bag. She pressed her fingers to her lips, then pressed them to Seifer's mouth before following after Laguna and Squall. Jurgen was right beside her, like her shadow once more. Squall's comments about Jurgen's desire for her came to the forefront of her mind.

Squall stopped and looked in the window to Seifer's room, just wanting one last glimpse of him before leaving for the night.

"He'll be okay," Laguna assured, getting Squall in a quick one-armed hug before his son pulled away.

"Does it bother you?" Squall finally blurted out as they slowly walked towards the telepod lobby. Quistis and Jurgen had made their way on ahead. It was a question that Squall had thought about since coming to Esthar. In the Centra mountains, it didn't matter if Laguna was disapproving of Seifer. Well, it's not like it would have stopped Squall, but it was still something he wondered.

"Does what bother me?" Laguna asked. He cast Squall a sidelong look, his expression careful and shrewd and very un-Laguna like. "The fact that you're dating a man who was once Ultimecia's Knight, or the fact that he's a man?"

Squall just shrugged, arms crossed in a protective and defensive posture.

"I don't care if you're with a man, Squall. You _know_ I don't care. Hyne, my best friend is married to a man."

"It's different when it's your son."

"Pfft. You sound just like Kiros. And, Seifer made some bad choices, but he learned from them. The learned man never makes bad mistakes... no, wait. How does that go? Never mind." Laguna reached out and cupped the sides of Squall's face, forcing eye contact between them. They rarely looked in each other's eyes because of Squall's aversion with meaningful eye contact. His eyes were so much like his mother's. "I just want you to be _happy_. Are you?"

"Yes." Squall didn't wince away from the pressure of Laguna's fingers on his tender, magically-healed jaw.

"Then, that's all that matters." Laguna dropped his arms at his sides. "I don't want you doing things because you think someone else wants you to."

Squall pursed his lips. "I... I never did get to... properly apologize for saying that stuff... about... Rinoa and... her mother..." Squall mumbled, his eyes dropping to his shoes. His voice partly got lost in his chest.

"Yeah, you apologized. Over the phone."

"That's not properly." He looked up and made eye contact again, even though he found it both physically and psychically painful. "I meant it, you know? I was drunk, but... I meant it. Not about you, though. I meant it about me. I was trying to push Rinoa on _me_. I was trying to live up to all these expectations that I thought everyone had of me. And, instead I just hurt everybody that I was trying not to hurt, and I acted like I was ashamed of him, and"

"Stop," was Laguna's insistent whisper. "I don't need your apology, Squall. And, you don't need to apologize to yourself. You fucked up. People do it all the time. Especially me." He grinned wryly. "It's probably where you got it from."

Squall didn't smile back, but there was a softness in his eyes that was usually only reserved for Seifer, Quistis or Ellone. It meant the world to Laguna, that quick, small look that Squall probably wasn't even aware that he was giving.

"Get some sleep."

Squall gave one last look of longing and then nodded in defeat, shuffling after Quistis.

---

Luchia stood with her back as straight as an arrow, not checking her watch even though the desire was pretty high. She was watching Xu sit in her chair, slightly swivelling it left and right. Just enough to seem paranoid, not enough to seem crazy. She had her hand lightly pressed over her mouth, and her black eyes glittered feverishly. Full of thought and possession.

"Do you think it's wise to keep junctioning Eden, even outside a battle situation?"

"I don't care what you think," Xu muttered. She looked down at the ground, tracing the pattern on her Trabian throw rug with the toe of her boot.

"What about Astor?" Luchia asked, ignoring Xu's barb.

"He's dead," Xu answered matter-of-factly. "There's not much else to discuss. The only thing he can do now is be of good use. Call a meeting."

"For what?" Luchia asked, manicured eyebrow popping up to show her mild disapproval.

"Maybe it's time that Esthar knew what kind of monster Laguna Loire's son actually is."

"You think that wise?" Now, it was near impossible to keep the dismay out of her voice. "Everyone believes Seifer to be dead. People are going to ask _why_ Squall killed Astor like that."

"Since when does your opinion matter when it comes to Mariposa?" Xu snapped. "There's no evidence that Seifer was there." Though Seifer was a wanted criminal, his torture wouldn't go over smoothly, and would bring up a lot of questions that Xu couldn't answer without revealing her hand. Particularly why she'd lied about his death. "Squall went there because Astor had found his location. And, Irvine had been working with them all along."

"It'll take some time to create some false documents and to fudge the security footage. How long..."

"Just do it," hissed Xu, looking down at the rug again. Her toe was almost lovingly caressing the stitched swirls and whorls.

Luchia only nodded and went out of the office. Garden was falling into hell in a hand basket, and she knew that announcing what happened to Astor wasn't a good idea. It _seemed_ like it might be initially, but on second thought... And, normally Xu would have known that. If she were still in her right mind, that is. Luchia found her hand slipping into her pocket, touching the paper in there. The strange letter she'd received while cleaning up Astor's remains was still unopened. She wasn't sure why she hadn't opened it yet, and conversely why she hadn't thrown it away. She didn't want to admit it was fear, but then again... Luchia was one of the few people who really _could_ say it wasn't because of fear. She was afraid of very few things, probably because she _cared_ about so few things.

As Luchia walked slowly back to her office, nails tracing the lines of the wax seal on the envelope back safely in her pocket, Xu was still in her office. Still staring at the carpet and drawing patterns on it with her toe. She slowly got up and closed the door. Luchia was wrong. If Squall was shown to be capable of butchering someone like he'd butchered Astor, then anyone who still doubted that he'd helped kill Cid wouldn't doubt it anymore. When the lock clicked into place, she sighed and leaned against the door. She was _so_ close. So fucking close to finally getting what she wanted. Garden was running more efficiently than ever. The junior cadets were getting record-high test scores, and they were turning the largest profit in years. Why couldn't Cid have seen this potential success? If he hadn't been so hell-bent on having Squall or Quistis take over, then he wouldn't have had to die. He could have seen it with his own eyes.

She walked over to her desk and gently rolled her chair away from the computer, kneeling down on the floor. "And, now I have you, too." She stroked over the carpet, wispy black tendrils of black magic pouring from between her fingertips like a webbing. It danced along the pattern on the ornate rug until it magically opened up the floor. Underneath Xu's desk was a small room. It was big enough to have a Spartan, tiny bed and a battered table. It was decorated with candles knick-knacks, and a brightly patterned quilt to try and make it look more cozy. But, the effect was disturbing. "I finally got you from her," Xu said lovingly, looking down into the makeshift prison at Nida. The warm, flickering candlelight cast stark shadows on Nida's sweaty face. His body was held motionless by Eden's magic, and it made his veins look black and prominent under his skin. His eyes were glassy and faraway, locked in some endless purgatory.

Xu slowly climbed down a rickety ladder made of planks and rope, and laid herself out on the bed beside her prize. Eden's magic coiled around them like a blanket. "I know that it's evil," Xu whispered as she rest her cheek on Nida's chest. He felt very warm. "Eden, I mean." Her fingers blindly reached up in the romantic candlelight (at least to her), and found Nida's sweaty hair. "I wouldn't have wanted it like this, but nobody would ever notice me while she was around!" She kissed his chest through his shirt. "I did the right thing. Squall's a fucking drunk and Quistis is too indecisive. They both fraternize with a war criminal, for Hyne's sake!" She urged. She wasn't trying to justify her actions. She really believed what she was doing was right. Radical, but necessary to remove a cancer from Garden.

Eden's power moved through Nida and warped his sense of reality. He could feel Xu rubbing against him. She was touching him lovingly and whispering in his ear. Her hand swept down his body, and he thought of Quistis. Eden's powers invoked the smell of Quistis's hair, and how her eyes always looked so thoughtful and bright behind her glasses. He loved her glasses. Eden made his body believe it was Quistis he was touching. He wanted it so much... But, Eden left just enough of Nida's mind conscious that he was aware of his hands touching Xu's skin and gently removing her clothes, but he couldn't do anything about it. It was closer to torture that way. But, it's not like Xu cared. As long as she had Nida and Garden, the means to those goals were irrelevant.

---

Laguna dozed in the chair beside Seifer's bed. For the past week, he'd been going in after visiting hours and keeping Seifer company. He'd started doing it because Squall was trying to sneak in, and Laguna wanted his son to get some actual sleep. He was injured and had been travelling in the mountains for a month. He needed the rest. It was also a place that Laguna could go to be alone and bask in the quiet. Though the head nurse was loathed to let anyone in past visiting hours, being the leader of the country allowed him some luxuries that nobody else could have.

The chair wasn't very comfortable, but napping in strange places wasn't exactly foreign to Laguna. He was sure Kiros and Ward had a tally somewhere of all the cars, closets, telepods and various other cramped spaces that he'd fallen asleep in. Normally he dreamed about past things. The army, travelling and writing, his true passion. He still even wrote articles under a pen name, though Kiros teased and said that he wasn't fooling anybody with the nom de plume - his grammar was so bad that everyone knew it was him anyway. If Kiros ever stopped teasing Laguna like that, he would know that something was horribly wrong. He dreamed a lot of Raine. His love for her was still so strong and it never wavered. But, tonight his dreams were far less pleasant. He thought of the other woman who'd shaped so much of his life - Adel. Or, what was left of a woman. She'd so bastardized herself through magical experiments that she couldn't even really be called a woman, or even human, in the end.

He hadn't thought about Adel in a while, but the memories were still so fresh. It must have been that they found out Seifer was the only surviving Dragoon, and the child of their most famous member. Taking Dinara Von Munster and destroying her village and people had been one of Adel's last acts of atrocity. Laguna had come to Esthar after Ellone not long after that. Azabaashe vanished, and Adel fell. Laguna would think of her pitiless red eyes and stir out of his troubled sleep. He woke up again, thinking it was a nightmare that roused him. But, before Laguna could drift away again, there was a series of quick beeps from one of Seifer's machines.

Laguna slowly blinked a few times, and then shot up out of his chair. Seifer's heart monitor started beeping rapidly. The line was like a sharp, jagged mountain range. Laguna reached across the bed for the console where he pressed the button for the nurse's station. "Aw, shit. You _cannot_ die on me, man. Squall needs you." He put his hand over Seifer's, flipping his hair over his shoulder as he looked back. "Where is that damn nurse?" He complained under his breath.

The monitor beeped a few times, and Seifer's heart rate seemed to slow down. The jagged line became a little smoother and sporadic. Then, a few more rapid beats. Laguna yelped when he felt a twitch under his hand. Seifer's hand jerked under his own, the heart monitor starting to slide back to a regular rhythm. Muscles in Seifer's throat worked, and then stilled.

"Oh God. Oh my God."

"What's happening?" A nurse demanded as she flew into the room as quietly and efficiently as she could.

"Uhhh, I think he's waking up."

"What?" The nurse went over and examined his vitals on the machine. She then punched a button on the console.

"His heart rate started to speed up, and then it slowed down and sped up again and his neck muscles and hand moved," Laguna explained in a huge rush of words. "I think he was dreaming."

The nurse nodded distractedly, already ignoring Laguna as he continued to blather away. She checked the vitals on the machines, then quickly pinched the thin skin on the back of Seifer's hand just below where the IV tubes were injected into it. The fingers flinched at the discomfort, which caused the nurse's eyebrows to raise.

"Is he awake?" Laguna breathed out, completely unaware that the nurse had been ignoring him.

She moved to push Laguna out of the room. "You're going to have to leave, Sir. We need to get to work."

"But, I..."

"Now, Sir." She glared at him in a way that gave no room for argument. Laguna saw another nurse scurrying towards him, followed by a doctor. He'd probably assess Seifer's condition until Tiernan could be contacted.

"Okay, okay!" He exclaimed when she shoved his chest hard and he sprawled further out into the hallway. "Sheesh, woman!" He ran shaking hands through his long, thick hair. He stood for a few minutes staring into Seifer's room. The patient was completely obscured by the medical team leaning over him. "Hyne, what am I doing?!" He chided himself. He had to find Squall. He knew that Squall would never forgive himself if he wasn't there when Seifer woke up. And, he'd probably never forgive Laguna for not getting him right away, either.

The telepod ride was slow and hellish, and Laguna willed away any negative thoughts. No, Seifer would be fine. There was no need to think that this could just be the last fight before he finally gave up. When he arrived at Squall's door, which was being guarded by Jurgen's night time backup, he slammed his palm against it after trying the knob and finding it locked. He waited only a couple of seconds before he banged on the door again. After the fourth round of knocking, the door flew open and Squall was standing there, looking tired and angry. He rubbed his eyes with the heel of his hand, hair all sleep-tousled. He actually looked his age. After all that Squall had been through in his most recent life, he looked and seemed fifteen years older. Now, he actually looked nineteen. He was still wearing his clothes from the day before, which were now rumpled.

"Dad...?" Squall asked in sleepy confusion. "Whaaaaaaa?" His word petered off into a large yawn.

"Seifer's waking up."

Squall blinked a few times, not thinking he heard what he'd heard. It seemed like a dream.

"Yes! Come on!" Laguna urged. "Get Quisty, bud."

Squall blinked again, running a hand through his mussed hair. Then, his brain clicked in and he bolted into the room, shaking Quistis roughly. She looked up at Squall in confusion as he explained things to her quietly. Laguna noted that she was also wearing her clothing, as if they'd fallen asleep in the middle of something. Papers strewn on the bed were covered up when Quistis flung the duvet off herself.

"Please tell me you're serious," Squall said sternly once he, Quistis and Laguna were boarding a telepod back to the hospital. If this was Laguna ringing a false alarm...

"Totally a hundred percent. I think."

"You think?" Quistis asked, covering her mouth as she yawned, though her eyes were bright and alert behind her glasses.

"Well, he was starting to wake up, and then the nurse threw me out and I came to get you. Maybe he went back into a coma. I dunno. His heart monitor started racing. I think he was having a nightmare."

"Maybe he thinks he's still..." Quistis bit her lip, not able to finish that sentence.

Squall didn't want to comment. Right now, putting this into words seemed like a jinx. When they arrived back at Seifer's room, there was still a flurry of activity within. Now, Tiernan had joined the crowd of nurses. His mouth was moving quickly, but they couldn't make out what he was saying from out in the hallway.

"Wait. You were in there at night?" Squall asked, scarred brow coming together angrily. "But you said..."

"You need your rest. You have broken ribs and a broken jaw, for Hyne's sake. Seifer would agree with me, I bet."

Squall just huffed his breath out and looked away, muttering a "...Whatever" under his breath.

It was a painful wait until Tiernan slowly came out into the hallway to face them, slinging his stethoscope around his neck. He was wearing his white doctor's coat over silk pyjamas. He was also smiling, which made Squall's heart flutter in anticipation.

"He's sleeping. And, no..." Tiernan said over top of Squall beginning to ask if he could go in. "Not tonight. He wouldn't even know you were there. I gave him a sedative. Coming out of the coma would have been a large strain on his body, so I want him to wake up slowly."

"But..."

"_And_, you're injured."

"That's totally what I said," Laguna interjected.

"I want to stay."

"No," Tiernan said firmly. "You need your rest. Look at you. You're still wearing the same clothes as yesterday. Magic may be able to heal that hairline fracture in your jaw, but your broken ribs aren't going to heal if you don't let them." Tiernan stared at Squall in irritation. He could see that his words were having zero impact. "You're just like your father. There's a reason I'm not his personal doctor anymore. It's shit like this."

"Hey, come on. I'm not _that_ bad. A few behemoth pox scares... All right, bouts of hypochondria," the President amended when Tiernan gave him a withering look. "And, you totally paint me out to be a bad guy!"

"Look, Squall. Just... promise me you'll rest for the rest of the night and tomorrow, and I'll let you come in for the evening, even past visiting hours after I give you a check-up. He won't wake up before then, anyway."

Squall was so stubborn that he didn't even want to accept that at first, but then finally agreed with a short, terse nod.

"Is he going to be okay?" Quistis asked, always the voice of reason. "Or, is it too soon to tell?"

"He only woke up briefly, and not long enough to speak. Honestly, I was hoping he'd stay comatose for longer, because he'll be in tremendous pain. But, I imagine it's a war to see which of you are the more stubborn in the relationship," Tiernan said, eyes sliding over to Squall. "We'll study his vitals for the next twenty-four hours. It's still far too soon to tell about his leg, or to have heard anything about cornea donation. Do you want sedatives to help you sleep? Has there been any abdominal pain?" He asked of her.

"Oh, no... it's fine. Besides, if I so much as winced, I'm sure Jurgen would report it to you. But, maybe just a light sleeping draught? I doubt I'd be able to slow my mind right now."

"I don't want any," Squall said churlishly.

"Too bad." Tiernan gestured for a nurse to bring over a couple of syringes. "These are slow-acting. You should have plenty of time to get back to your rooms before they take full effect." He held up the syringe and stared hard at Squall, as if daring him to refuse.

"...Whatever," he muttered under his breath, thrusting his arm out with as much attitude as humanly possible. He looked to Quistis, and she nodded encouragingly. They needed their rest. Not just because of doctor's orders, but if they wanted to move against Garden, they would have to be healthy. It was only going to be the two of them, and it was _not_ going to be a suicide mission.

"Okay, sleepy-time!" Laguna exclaimed, pushing hard against Squall's back, steering him back to the telepod. "Seifer will be there when you wake up."

"You don't have to patronize me," Squall muttered. His voice was soft and of a slightly higher pitch. The drugs were already starting to take effect.

"Well, you _are _acting like a big baby."

"Like father, like son," was Squall's tired retort.

"Hey, now!" Laguna gently chided, pretending to be angry. But, how could he be angry whenever Squall actually acknowledged that he was Laguna's son? Though he didn't have to, he rode the telepod back to the residential section of the Palace. He knew that Quistis could more than bully Squall back to their rooms, but he just wanted to be with his son.

Squall was distantly aware of all of this. It was getting harder for him to concentrate as the drug moved through more of his body. When they arrived back at their rooms, and Seifer waking up seemed like a distant dream, Squall did something that was very unlike him. Maybe it was the drugs giving him bravery, or just that he really needed Laguna right now, but either or both of them gave Squall the courage to step forward and wrap his arms around Laguna. He gave his father the kind of hug he'd wanted to when he was a child. Before he knew he'd had a father, when he'd thought he'd wanted a father that was everything Laguna wasn't. But, Laguna was everything he'd ever imagined, deep down. A father who loved him. No matter what.

Laguna blinked in surprise for only a moment before finishing the hug. He didn't nearly have the same aversion to it that Squall did. He knew that this moment was special. Laguna was more adept at reading body language than people gave him credit for, and he knew that Squall and Quistis had been so reclusive with everyone but each other since they'd come to Esthar. This hug was closeness that Squall wasn't giving anyone else besides her and Seifer. When they broke apart, Laguna just smiled and tried not to show tears. He was probably doing a really shitty job, because Squall gave him a long look that was wholly unfathomable because of the drugs invading him.

"Goodnight, Laguna." Quistis squeezed his arm and shuffled after Squall. Laguna watched the door close and revelled in the moment, his left thumb subconsciously reaching to touch his wedding ring.

---

Raijin rapped his large fist against Fujin's door. He didn't care how loud he was being, or that it was nearly dawn. In his other hand, he had his phone. He'd been texting Rinoa for the past hour, not sure where she was. Sometimes she stayed in the Palace, other times she went to Odine's labs to measure her magical output during sleep. Or, maybe she'd just turned her phone off. He found that he was concerned. He knew that she was fine and Esthar was perfectly safe, especially for a Sorceress, but worry still gnawed at him. Besides, he knew that she'd want to know that Seifer was starting to wake up.

"Goddammit, it's fucking dawn!" A male voice complained through the door before flinging it open. Raijin was not surprised to see Irvine there. His long hair was dishevelled, but his eyes were alert and the sweat on his bared skin alluded to activities other than sleep. He was covering his crotch with a sheet he'd dragged from the bed. "What do you _want_?" He snapped.

Raijin glared hatefully at Irvine and checked his shoulder into the door so it slammed against the wall. The force of it sent Irvine flinging backwards. Maybe Raijin should have been afraid of pissing off the leader of an assassin's cell, but he was just angry. Fujin was laying in bed, not bothering to cover her nudity. Besides, Irvine had the sheet.

"WHAT?" She demanded.

Raijin was so mad that he didn't care he was looking at her naked. Fujin slowly drew her knees up to her chest to hide herself. She'd never seen that kind of look in Raijin's eyes, not even when he'd almost hit her earlier.

"In case you give a fuck, which you've clearly expressed you haven't, Seifer's waking up."

"What?" Irvine breathed out. Fujin's expression did not change.

"You heard me," he said scathingly. "And, I don't want you to see him. Either of you."

Irvine's jubilant wonder faded under cold detachment. "Who gave you a say? We're his friends, too."

"Really? I've never made my friends become killers."

"Nobody twisted his arm," Irvine said darkly.

"Ultimecia did, and you just swooped right in and took her place."

"I think you should leave."

"Yeah, yeah. Just thought you should know." He glared down Irvine, his dark eyes daring the other man to do or say anything. It was as if he was silently saying "come on, kill me. That's what you do."

"Righteous bastard," Irvine muttered under his breath when the door had closed. It's not that he wasn't in the mood for sex anymore, but the moment was dulled around the edges. It wouldn't take long to get back, though.

"CORRECT."

"Oh, what?" Irvine asked with an irritated roll of his eyes, dropping the sheet on the floor. "One harsh word and you're having second thoughts?"

"NO," she corrected firmly. "But, he's right. We _do_ kill. It's something that comes naturally to me, and to you. Seifer never followed Edea because he wanted to hurt anybody. Even when he was bullying people, his intention wasn't to hurt them. Not deep down, anyway. He just wanted to make them stronger."

"Yeah, I know. So... why are you telling me this?"

She shrugged. "Just pointing out that he's right. I don't often acknowledge it, so I felt like he deserved it."

---

Tiernan was a man of his word, and after a thorough physical examination where the doctor gave him some harsh words about the lack of progress in his ribs and nettling about starting to see a psychiatrist, Squall was allowed into Seifer's room past visiting hours, which had just ended an hour prior. Quistis sat on one side of the bed and he on the other. She knit nervously, and Squall just watched Seifer's face, his ribs aching from the physical. Every minute felt like an hour, and whenever one of them would look to their watch, they'd be shocked and horrified that only five or ten minutes had gone by.

Everyone assured Squall that Seifer hadn't woken up yet, but it was only a matter of time. There were already signs of it, and Squall's heart raced each time Seifer exhibited one of them. Sometimes his hand would twitch, or he would let out a hitched breath that sounded like either fear or pain. Sometimes he would swallow, and the cords of his throat muscles would work and constrict as his Adam's apple bobbed with the motion. Were his eyes moving under the gauze? Was he having a nightmare about Astor? Did he know that Squall and Quistis were there? Whenever Seifer would make those small noises of distress, Squall would touch his hand and stroke over the small patches of bare skin. He would lean over and whisper in Seifer's ear, and he would quiet. Squall liked to think it was because Seifer really was aware.

"You think he'll like this colour?" Quistis asked, holding up a large chunk of knitting. It was a deep grey that had barely-there flecking of green in it, only really visible when the rays of bluish light came in through the curtains. Squall hadn't even realized what she was knitting had been for Seifer.

"It won't matter. He won't be able to see it."

"Yes. He will," Quistis replied sharply. "He'll get corneas soon."

"But, what if the damage is deeper...?"

"Stop," she firmly commanded. "Be positive. Or, at least try to, okay?"

Squall glowered at her. It always pissed him off when she was utterly and maddeningly right. And, he was already a little miffed at her. She was nettling him about a plan to get into Garden and expose Xu, and was angry that he didn't show more drive about it. But, when they were around Seifer, they didn't talk about it. Their main focus was just being with him. He tried not to think of all the pain Seifer must have been in. He thought instead of how much he loved him, and how brave Seifer was for surviving all of this. The colour in the visible parts of Seifer's face was improving. The magical healing was taking full effect, and curing a lot of the superficial wounds. More bare skin was now visible even since yesterday, where they'd removed some of his lesser bandages. They were even allowed to wear their regular clothes now. Rinoa, however, still wasn't allowed in the room with him. His natural magic defences were still too weak. Raijin wanted desperately to stay in the room too, and was allowed, but he'd stayed outside with Rinoa. It spoke volumes of his growing affection for her, whether it was friendship or otherwise. Tiernan had also nixed the idea of Serino being the room with Seifer. He wasn't sure what a moogle's magical aura would do, or what sorts of parasites could live in their thick white fur. Serino had gotten hot and bothered at such an implication, but the miniscule threat hadn't stopped Quistis and Squall from smuggling their small friend in. He was sitting at the foot of Seifer's bed, examining a book of human medical diagrams with wonder. Humans were so frail that it amazed him. He was particularly horrified by the external genitals on males. Wasn't it dangerous? He shuddered, glad that his genitals were safely within his body.

Squall got lost in thought again, daydreaming about future things he and Seifer would do together, so when Seifer let out a loud gasp, Squall gasped in turn, scared by the sudden noise. Quistis's knitting dropped to the ground as Seifer's body slightly arched backwards and he panted as if he'd surfaced water.

"Seifer?" She whispered hopefully. Squall couldn't find his voice.

Seifer panted heavily, his throat feeling as parched as a desert. Everything was black, and he felt sluggish and cold. Pain that felt like fire coursed through him, even through the veil of strong painkillers. He could feel a hand touching him. Fear started to overtake him. Astor was coming to finish him off, and he didn't know if he could last much longer, no matter how much he wanted to. He let out a small whimper and breathed out, knowing that each second he took it, each second he survived, was another second that Squall was still alive. He could even smell him now. The way _Memento_ cologne clung with the natural smell of Squall's skin, mingling with leather, had always stirred such passion in Squall. The memory of that scent would keep him going through any torture that Astor could inflict on him.

"Seifer?" Quistis whispered, tears blinding her.

"Kupo..." Serino chirped sadly. Seifer's aura gave off so much pain that it was amazing he could take it.

Squall pressed his forehead to Seifer's. He wanted to say Seifer's name so badly, but his voice was caught somewhere in his chest. He could barely even breathe. He firmly stroked his hand down the shoulder of the starchy white hospital gown, Seifer's skin shivering under his hand. Seifer tried to jerk away from the touch, but his body wouldn't obey any mental commands. The smell of Squall was so strong, it was like his lover was right there with him. The hand stroking his shoulder was so gentle and familiar, and touching him in a way that Astor never would have.

"Squall...?" Seifer breathed out urgently. The two syllables tore up his throat, and his eyes burned under the gauze covering them.

Squall took in his breath with a high-pitched gasp, swallowing back a sob. "I'm okay," Squall assured when he was finally able to speak. Even now, after everything, Seifer's first thought was wondering if Squall was safe. "I'm okay."

Seifer's panting grew shaky with relief.

"God, honey. You are infuriating and miraculous," Quistis murmured in his ear. She reached behind her and pressed the call button. As much as they wanted this moment with Seifer to themselves, Quistis knew that he really did need to be checked out by Tiernan, and it's not like Squall would ever do it himself. He didn't want to share Seifer with the rest of the world.

"You're safe," Squall whispered. Seifer'd gone momentarily still, and reawakened with a gasp. His muscles went stiff with fear because in that one second of unconsciousness, he'd forgotten where he was. "You're safe."

Quistis looked up when she heard the soft whisper of the door opening. "Tiernan..."

Squall looked away from Seifer reluctantly as Tiernan entered the room.

"I'm going to need to you wait outside," he requested quietly. "For just a few minutes," he added when Squall's expression became angry.

"We'll be right outside," Quistis assured. She leaned over and kissed Seifer's cheek. Serino chirped and petted Seifer's bared toes, poking out from the leg cast. Squall lingered for longer still. He felt Seifer's breath puff out against his lips. He let his mouth linger for a moment longer against Seifer's cheek. Outside the room, there was a whole group of people waiting. Rinoa had her arm around Raijin, both a show of support and a sign of her affection, obvious to anyone except for Raijin. Laguna and Ellone were there, as was Edea. Jurgen hung back in the shadows, his attentions for Quistis rather than the condition of a man he'd never met or spoken to. Two absent faces became glaring to Quistis as Squall slumped into his sister's arms - Fujin and Irvine were not there.

"Did he...?" Ellone began to ask. She had tears in her eyes and couldn't finish the sentence. Like Irvine, she'd never forgotten her time at Edea's orphanage like the others had, so probably remembered more of Seifer than even Squall or Quistis.

Squall just nodded and rested his forehead against Ellone's shoulder. He felt Quistis press against his side and the soft thickness of Serino's pleasantly scented fur against his cheek and neck.

"I'm Dr. Murphy-Seagill. I don't know if you remember, Mr. Almasy, but we met once before. Briefly, at Ellone's wedding." Tiernan greeted, putting his hand to Seifer's forehead.

Seifer made a noise of recognition, but it might have also been a grunt of pain. Tiernan started listening to Seifer's heart with a stethoscope. "Water..." He rasped out.

Tiernan then listened to Seifer's abdomen. Everything was quiet in there. "Only a few ice chips for now." He poured some thin ice slivers into a paper cup and pressed it against Seifer's mouth. Seifer tried to reach up to take it out of reflex, and hissed in pain.

"Try not to move too much," Tiernan urged gently. "Magic is healing the smaller injuries, but it will still take a long time for your back and leg to heal."

The ice chips soothed the parched fire of his throat, and he let out a long breath of horrible remembrance. Of course he hadn't forgotten what Astor did to him, but feeling the pain in his back when he'd tried to stretch his arm just made it clearer. It made the injuries something more than just the vague word 'torture'. "Blind?"

"Yes," answered Tiernan grimly. "You're on a list for cornea donation though, so it won't be permanent."

"Squall?" He asked. His heartbeat stayed neutral and calm.

"He's fine."

"Lying."

Tiernan made a noise of surprise. His voice had been completely neutral, so Seifer must have picked it up from Squall himself. "He _is_ fine. He's got broken ribs and a healed hairline fracture in his jaw. From when he brought you here." Tiernan shook his head and laughed in disbelief. "You just woke up and you sensed that? My God, man. I am in awe of you. But, I guess I should expect nothing less from a child of La Draconia."

---

Just over a week had gone by since Seifer first woke up. Each day, he showed great improvement. His back and leg were still in quite serious condition and he was still in tremendous pain, but his immune system had come back completely, his facial lacerations were coming together evenly, and his broken fingers were healing nicely. He would soon be ready for secondary surgery on his leg, some bullet fragments left in his chest, and a testicular implant if he wished it. He slept a lot, and was surprisingly lucid. For the first few days he'd been pretty high on painkillers, but they'd either mixed with some other pill the doctors had him on, or he was just naturally allergic, because they'd made him quite ill and now he was off them until they cleared his system. Unfortunately, that meant no other painkillers during that time, so he was in constant pain. It was almost something that he was used to now.

Squall pretty much lived in Seifer's room now. Tiernan had given up on trying to get him to leave. Sometimes at night, he would slide his slender frame against Seifer's body and sleep beside him. Sometimes the nurse would get furious and make him get off, but sometimes she just didn't bother fighting it. Currently, Seifer was sleeping, and Squall was watching him raptly. The facial lacerations were starting to heal up and the bandage that covered that part of Seifer's face was smaller, but he'd probably still need a little plastic surgery on his nose and cheek.

Squall leaned forward and stroked his fingers across the lines of Seifer's neck and collarbone. Though it was a very serious time, Squall was smiling. Really smiling. It had been a long time since Quistis had seen him smile like that. Free of any outside pressures or concerns. Seifer was still very injured but he was out of danger. Squall was allowed to be relieved. He was allowed to feel only love.

Quistis quietly packed up her knitting. She knew that Squall didn't mind her staying. He didn't consider a lot of his 'private' time with Seifer to exclude her, and she knew that. But, she still wanted to give Squall time where it could only be the two of them. As she passed him, she put her hands on his shoulders from behind. His hands covered hers when she bent forward to kiss the top of his head. "Love you," she whispered in his ear.

"Me too," he whispered back.

Quistis stepped out into the hallway, finding Jurgen there. Watching her as he always did. His eyes were so grey they were almost robotic. She walked towards the telepod docks as if he weren't there. As usual.

"Why aren't you spending more time planning?" He asked out of nowhere. His Estharian accent sounded alluring on the word 'more'. A rolling of his tongue that alluded to more private things.

"Planning?" She asked carefully. She really didn't know what he was talking about, but still kept herself guarded.

"With those blueprints you stole?"

She stopped dead. It took a few moments for her to regain her composure. "Blueprints?" She asked.

"Lying doesn't become you, Ms. Trepe. What, you think that President Loire posted me to watching you because I was the first soldier he saw?"

She slowly turned around to face him, as if her motions were taking place underwater. She considered brushing off his comments with a derisive chuckle and a flip of her loose golden hair, but lost the desire when looking into his steel-coloured eyes. "If it were any other leader besides Laguna, I'd have to agree with you."

"You won't clear your name by hiding at a hospital beside for the rest of your life."

"Seifer needs us!" She exclaimed angrily.

"He'd want you to right this wrong."

Her voice dropped to a low, dangerous timbre. "You don't know him." Her anger was all protectiveness.

"No, I don't. I can only go by what people have said of him, and what I know of the Dragoon bloodlines. But, am I wrong?"

She hated him right then. Because he was right. And, he knew it.

"Why did you suddenly give up?" He asked quietly. "It can't just be that Mr. Almasy woke up. That should have given you even _more_ incentive."

"I need more time."

"You're making excuses."

"Are you trying to find out information to tattle to Kiros or Laguna?" She asked, starting to get angry.

"They wouldn't want you going to Garden alone."

"Just leave it alone." She turned her back to get to the teleporters.

"Why?" He demanded, grabbing her arm.

"Let go!" She shouted. Her voice echoed in the quiet of the long term care's main transport lobby. The nurse at the reception desk looked up sharply from her paperwork, giving Quistis a disapproving glower.

"Why?" Jurgen demanded.

"Because I can't do it!" She answered loudly. The nurse looked up again. Her eyes blazed a warning to keep it down. Quistis's mouth hung open in surprise at her own words. "I can't..." She trailed off. "I'll never beat her," she replied. "I just can't..."

"You're very self-defeating."

She made an angry noise under her breath, but couldn't exactly argue. As she went over the blueprints, her confidence in her plans kept weakening until she was left with nothing but second-guesses and her disbelief in her own abilities. She once again became the instructor that Cid had to fire. She was the girl that only got guys when Xu was paying them. She was the girl who got rejected for Rinoa, even though she really didn't think of Squall like that anymore. She was the girl who got rejected for Xu. The girl who'd always been second-best. Especially in her own mind.

"I'll help you. If you wish it."

She frowned, trying to find the separate meaning in each of those seven words. "Why?"

"I was told to protect you and be your shadow. It wasn't specified _where_ those duties were to take place."

Quistis looked at him for a long time. He stared right back, facial expression unchanging while hers was changing rapidly. Finally, she wound up with a chuckle of disbelief. "Why?"

"Because you're being wronged." Jurgen stepped before Quistis and reached past her to press the call button for one of the telepods. His arm brushed against her shoulder. It had been deliberate. "I know you're wary of accepting help, but it's here."

The telepod came with a mechanized swoosh. A pleasant recording announced the arrival. Quistis ignored it the first time. She felt words on the tip of her tongue. They were begging to be uttered and spilt. But, she just... she couldn't. She could only stand there stupidly with Jurgen's patient eyes drilling into her own. The telepod announcement repeated in the background, beeping insistently between recorded arrival messages.

"I..." Jurgen's interest in her seemed genuine. She wanted to believe it. "I..." Evan's interest had also seemed genuine. Nida's interest had seemed genuine. "I should get back to my room." The vulnerability and self-doubt that had leaked through to the surface were now gone. She was good now at burying things under a layer of stone and ice. Squall had taught her well.

"Of course." Jurgen's voice remained the same as always. They sat down on the telepod together, as if they hadn't had that conversation. It was like he'd never admitted he knew about Quistis's plan to break into Garden, or that they'd had a moment that could have very easily become romantic. She was sure that if she'd tried to kiss him, he would have kissed her back. She didn't even know anything about him! Just like Evan.

The trip was a silent one. Quistis didn't look over to the soldier, though she was certain he was looking at her. And intently, too. When the telepod stopped in the private residential area, she stood up and walked to her room with Jurgen falling in step beside her. "Good night," she said politely.

"Of course."

She unlocked her door and turned the knob, but stopped before stepping into her blackened room. "Hey, Jurgen?" She called down the hallway.

He stopped and looked over his shoulder. "Yes?"

"What's your favourite colour?" She asked. _Why are you asking him such a stupid question_?

He cocked his head, but his face didn't show any surprise. "Red. Why?"

She shrugged. "At least you didn't say blue, I guess. It shows at least a sliver of originality."

"I'm glad I could enlighten you. Good night, Ms. Trepe."

Quistis watched him go before she entered her room and closed the door behind her. As she removed her thin, hand knitted cardigan and kicked off her shoes, she continued to wonder why she'd asked him such a dumb question. What did it matter what colour he liked? Did she just want to see his reaction? It's not like it said anything about him as a person. The blonde sat on the bed and shook her head when she realized why. Knowing Jurgen's favourite colour was more than she'd ever known about Evan.

---

Luchia parked her Estharian utility vehicle in front of Tears Point. The wind was howling and it was bitterly cold. The truck was a rental and Luchia couldn't find how to get the temperamental heat to work, so she was bundled in three layers. She got out of the car and walked towards the center of the monument. The large statues looked down at her with blank and impassive eyes. It felt like they were really watching her. Luchia reached into one of her pockets to feel for the letter. After she'd left Xu's office, her desire to open the letter grew. What did it contain? So, late at night in her threadbare room void of any personal belongings, she'd finally broken the raven seal. Inside the envelope, the paper was thick and expensive. Within the envelope it smelled pleasantly of smoky incense. The letter had been written with a nib pen and a well of ink. You didn't see that much anymore.

__

Dear Miss Blackwell,

I hope you are well. I would like to meet with you to discuss some mutual interests, and the acquisition of something that rightfully belongs to me. I would have liked to have met you in person, but I am currently unable to travel. I see a kindred spirit in you and your outlook on duty. If you wish to meet with me, come to Tears Point any time you wish. If, after our meeting, you feel that you don't wish to go any further, I will have one of my men take you home.

Sincerely,

A Potential Comrade

Luchia didn't know if she quite believed the last part, about being allowed to leave if she didn't like what this person had to say. If she was driving all the way out to Tears Point for a meeting... well, it didn't bode well. If it were merely nefarious, they would have met in Deling City in some scummy diner - like Evan. Out here, though... The air still felt magically charged from the last Lunar Cry. When Adel fell back down to earth.

She was only standing before the ominous statues a few moments before someone came from somewhere, huddled in a bulky, dark parka. She narrowed her eyes from within her own fur-lined hood, studying this person carefully.

"Miss Blackwell, this way please." It was a male voice coming from within the coat, accented with Estharian. He gestured for her to walk with him, though he did not try to touch her. Politeness, or something more sinister?

Luchia squared her shoulders and followed the man. There was no sense in backing out now. She was already here, in the middle of nowhere without anyone knowing about it. She was led closer to the looming statues, but saw nothing except smooth stone. The man placed a gloved hand on a section of the statues. Nothing happened for a few moments, and then she felt the air change. She could see the magic working on the spot where her guide's hand was pressed to the stone. And, then a door appeared. It opened with a loud scraping of stone on stone that was dragged away by the howling winds.

"This way, please."

Luchia looked beyond the guide, and saw a black, black stairwell yawning ahead of them. It was cool and musty smelling and looked like it went a long, long way down. The man started them downward. Magic light appeared in his hands and silhouetted his parka. Luchia took in what she could see, but nothing told her of who she was descending to meet. Again, she thought it foolish to be afraid, so slowly followed the guide down, hoping this wouldn't be a fatal mistake.


	15. Chapter 15

****

Chapter 15

Seifer woke up with a gasp. He'd been having another nightmare, but the images floated away like leaves in the wind until he couldn't remember what it had been about. He expected to wake up in that dank little cell under the floor, or strapped to a gurney. But, then he smelled _Memento_ and leather, and he knew he was safe. He could feel the warmth of Squall's body pressed against the whole front of him. It comforted him and made him forget he'd even had a nightmare in the first place.

In the blindness he now lived in, Seifer reached up so he could touch Squall's face. It was the only way that he could see him. Squall's face was burned into his memory, but he still wished desperately that he could actually look. Reaching up was brutally painful, but he didn't care. His back was extremely tender after another day of 'cheese grater' therapy, as Seifer sickly called it. Tiernan and a burn unit specialist were sloughing off the dead, burnt skin from his back, and it wasn't a good feeling. The fingers that weren't covered in casts stroked over Squall's jawbone. He could feel the swelling on one side, under the stubbled skin. He then found his mouth - God, that mouth. He felt familiar butterflies and warmth spreading through his stomach when he traced the soft skin of Squall's lips. But, there was no reaction south of his belly button like there usually would have been. The new painkillers Dr. Murphy-Seagill had him on left him temporarily impotent. Sex wasn't something he was terribly concerned with right now, but with Squall pressed so close to him and the smell of him so strong and the feel of his mouth, Seifer felt entitled to be bitter about it.

Would he even be able to _have_ sex? What if there was more damage than they thought? What if Squall didn't want to fuck someone who only had half his genitals? He pushed those thoughts away, and just concentrated on touching Squall's face. The bridge of his nose, the scar between his eyebrows, his cheekbones, his mouth again. He felt Squall stir, and judging from the hard lump against his hip, whatever he'd been dreaming had been pleasant.

Squall blinked a few times, feeling like he was still in his dream at the feeling of Seifer caressing his lower lip. He smiled into the touch and said "Hi." He moved his hand up to Seifer's chest so he could feel his heartbeat.

Seifer exhaled as he felt Squall's lips turn upwards. God, Squall was smiling that rare, endearing and kind of dorky smile that he loved so much, and he couldn't even see it. "Hi, Kitten. Quisty here?"

"No, it's the middle of the night. Just the two of us." He pressed himself closer to Seifer's body.

"Nice dream?"

"Hmm?" He kissed Seifer's fingertips, the smile broadening. "Maybe" He didn't raise his voice above a whisper, but it still sounded playful and coy. Nobody else ever got to hear him sound that way. Not even Rinoa. "You were giving me a blow job."

"Was I?" Seifer asked innocently.

Squall bit his lip as he grinned, turning his face into Seifer's palm. The dream had actually been so vivid that he could swear he still felt the heat and moisture of Seifer's mouth around his erection, and the anticipation of giving him a face full of semen. "It was fabulous, as usual." His hand started to slide downwards, but stopped when Seifer flinched for a reason other than pain.

"I don't care about that, you know?" He knew exactly why Seifer was shying away from his hands, and it wasn't because of a drug side-effect. "The proof is kind of poking you in the hip."

"I know," Seifer whispered darkly. "I can't help it." Seifer's fingers moved away from the heaven of Squall's lips to the swollen part of his jaw. "Did he hurt you?" It was the first he'd mentioned of Astor since waking up. This was also the most awake and alert he'd been in those three weeks.

"Just some broken ribs."

"Did he hurt you?" Seifer asked again. Insistently.

"...No," Squall replied firmly, knowing what Seifer meant. "Almost, but no. He's dead."

Seifer made an unfathomable noise. He didn't exactly sound glad.

"He suffered."

"That doesn't really make me feel better. 'Sides... Xu's still alive..." His words petered off and slurred in the wake of a yawn, though he continued right on. His strength was coming back so quickly that they said he might be able to get the catheter out and go to the bathroom under his own power tomorrow. Or, at least his own power assisted by a wheelchair. It was a sad prospect when getting out of bed was something to be jubilant about. "She's the one that has to be stopped."

"We're working on it."

"Are you?"

Squall pulled back a little bit. "What are you saying?"

"It's been three weeks since I woke up, and you haven't mentioned it at all."

Squall mumbled something under his breath that was kind of close to "I didn't want to upset you."

"It's upsetting me that we're still wanted criminals."

Squall turned his face away from Seifer's palm so he wouldn't feel the frown. But, he was sure Seifer knew he was frowning anyway. "I can't believe we're having a fight right now." The erection that had been so deliciously cumbersome was now softening rapidly.

"It's not a fight," Seifer corrected. Though he couldn't see anything, he looked up at Squall with his blind eyes, now free of their gauze patches. His blindness wasn't exactly black. More like trying to look through glass that had milk poured all over it. He could see transitions in light, and blobby white and grey things. "If it were a fight, one of us would be getting shunted off to get stitches."

"Not funny."

"This is a discussion," Seifer said firmly. The correction held great weight even though they were talking in whispers. "Important one, too."

"I'm finding it hard to care," Squall answered. He flushed at the admission, because he knew that Seifer would think it was a piss-poor excuse.

But, Seifer's voice wasn't chastising. It was gentle and loving. "That's an honest feeling, Squall. It's probably easy to forget about Garden here since you're safe in the Palace. You have Quisty and your father, so everything seems okay for now."

"And, I have you," Squall interjected.

"_But_," he continued, whisper becoming firm. "Nobody can live like that. I've done it for too long. And, I know you don't want it. You're just detaching yourself, which is your usual tendency. And, don't make that face. You know it's true."

Squall made a noise somewhere between irritation and amusement. "Fuck. Even when you're blind..."

"Because I know you."

"We can't just go in guns blazing, Seifer." Squall's voice was churlish, but he pressed himself close to the other man again. "It's only the two of us."

"No. You have Raijin, Fujin and Irvine. And, even Rinoa from what you've said. They can help you on this end. And, Odin will help you."

"Odin? I'm not asking him for help."

"You still jealous about that?" Seifer grinned, fingers finding Squall's jugular pulse. He felt the blood pumping there. The life beating just under Squall's warm skin.

"Always."

"He'll help you," Seifer assured. "Even if you are being a silly kitty."

"'m not..." Squall mumbled, body arching under its own power when Seifer's fingers stroked a sensitive spot just below his earlobe.

"Can you tell me about my mom again?" Squall and Quistis already told him what they found out about Dinara Von Munster, but he liked hearing it.

Squall smiled against Seifer's fingers, and his body filled with warmth at the feeling. "Okay. Want me to start with 'once upon a time'?"

Seifer let out his breath in minor annoyance.

"All right, all right. Once upon a time, there was a woman... ouch." He stopped when Seifer lightly pinched his hip. "Dinara was born into the one of the leading Dragoon clans, so always knew that she might have to command their tribe someday," he continued seriously. "So, she was trained in combat, law and judicial processes as a child before leaving Wolf Haven for Esthar where she could continue in formal education." Squall recited all these details from memory. Quistis still hadn't found out a lot about Seifer's mother because of Adel's penchant for destroying and rewriting historical documents, and the segregation of different areas of Esthar from each other. But, what details they had found out were precious to Seifer. Coupled with Bahamut's original story, they fleshed out an idea for where he came from, and the family he might have ad if things had gone differently.

"She enrolled in university here. We think it was Bluefield, but we can't be certain. All her records were destroyed, but that's where Azabaashe was enrolled, and Bahamut said that they met in school. That's where she also met your father, who was in the lunar studies program." Bluefield was a very prestigious university in central Esthar. Maybe the most prestigious university in the world. "We aren't even sure what exactly she was studying. She would have been enrolled on a military contract, because she was enrolled for a time. It wasn't unheard of for a woman to join the Estharian army, but they were usually in nurse or doctor capacities, but Dinara was there as a soldier."

Seifer's body melted into Squall's, engrossed in the sound of his voice. Since Seifer was now blind, Squall and Quistis would often read to him, and the sound of their voices made him feel safe. Would his mother or father have read to him as a child? Would his father have told him about the stars and the moon and all the constellations? Would she have liked Squall? When Seifer listened to stories about her, he thought of the life he could have had, if he'd grown up with them. Learning about dragons, learning about the moon and stars. Having brothers and sisters to play with. Watching as his eldest sister, Anke, was groomed to take over the mantle of La Draconia. Living off nature. Living without Garden. Without Quistis. Without Squall.

Any life, even one that sounded as perfect as that, seemed unacceptable if it meant no Squall. Would he have gone through that life thinking that something was missing, though never knowing what it was? Like part of his soul was missing and there was no way to get it back? He found that he'd actually stopped paying attention to what Squall was saying, and instead was just listening to him, and the sound of his voice. All the loss and pain in his life had brought him to this moment, and it made it all worth it. Just to have _this_ man next to him, touching him, loving him.

Squall felt the change in Seifer's embrace and stopped his story. Seifer's hand moving up and down his back became firmer, pressing on the small of Squall's back to bring their bodies completely flush with each other. "I thought you wanted to hear this," Squall murmured, Seifer's hand now sweeping over his ass, then to where the curve met his thigh. He let out a small, hitched gasp when the hand then came between his legs from behind and cradled his balls, which pulled up tight as the erection that had almost vanished now roared back to life.

Seifer buried his face in the crook of Squall's neck, breathing in the smell of him as deeply as he could. He could feel the shape of Squall's cock through his pants, and wanted desperately to touch and 'see' it, but was having trouble trying to get the complex button front undone. "Help," he urged desperately, feeling Squall's fingers join his broken ones, equally as impatient. He let out a shaky breath when Squall's erection was finally freed and he felt the hot hardness in his hand, the shape and heat as familiar to him as is own penis. When Seifer's fist closed around his already leaking cock, Squall found the other man's mouth. His body sang as Seifer gave pleasure to his mouth and his genitals. Seifer's tongue filled his mouth and his fist moved up and down in perfect, irresistible timing. He panted into Seifer's mouth, hands sliding down the starchy fabric of Seifer's hospital gown until he found Seifer's penis, soft and unresponsive compared to his own rock-hard cock.

Squall slipped his hand under the hospital gown, careful around the catheter tubes. He could feel the asymmetry of Seifer's missing testicle through the bandage. He gently stroked his thumb over the line of stitches in time with the pumping of the fist around his cock, causing Seifer to groan into his mouth. Just because Seifer couldn't get hard didn't mean he couldn't feel anything down there, and Squall's oh-so-gentle touch was warm voltage through his whole body. It felt so intimate and loving, touching the most private and now damaged part of him. Squall's thumb stroked over the stitches repeatedly, his breathing quickening. Seifer's heart pounded in his chest for reasons other than arousal as Squall writhed against him, thrusting his hips up to meet Seifer's fist, faster and more urgently. He moaned into Seifer's mouth and kept stroking the stitches where Seifer's right testicle once was as he felt the shudder of orgasm pulse through his body. His semen splattered, hot and sticky and wonderful, against his stomach, chest, and the front of Seifer's hospital gown.

Seifer's tongue lapped at Squall's mouth, like he was trying to swallow the small little moans that were escaping from there into his own mouth. Since he couldn't see Squall's pleasure, he wanted to hear it, taste it and feel it. Squall panted against him as he continued to stroke his fist up and down the shaft, feeling it get soft in his hand. "It wasn't the blow job you were dreaming about, but it's a start," Seifer commented lightly as he finally relinquished his loose grip on Squall. The quip was far from how deeply he'd felt about that moment - being able to touch Squall again and feel his pleasure and joy.

Squall's brow was still furrowed with the emotional intensity as he buried his face in Seifer's neck. It was the first orgasm he'd had since he and Seifer had last had sex in that stunted Centran forest. When Seifer was whole and okay and was able to enjoy it, too. Squall put his arms around his lover as gently as he could and held him tight. Seifer grimaced briefly and tried to minutely shift his weight as best he could, but he didn't protest the hug. No matter how much discomfort it caused him, he'd always accept a hug from Squall.

"I think the nurse might be mad. Come can't be sanitary," Seifer whispered into Squall's hair, chuckling. But, Squall didn't share his amusement. He could feel wetness in his neck. His mind brought forth the memory of what Squall looked like when he cried, how his eyes looked like water and he would purse that mouth in embarrassment. He hated when Squall cried, and was kind of thankful that he couldn't see it. "No tears, okay?" He asked seriously. He so didn't want crying right now. He'd had enough sadness. He reached up, searching for Squall's face in his blind world. He found his wet cheek and wiped away some tears.

He could hear the sound of Squall sucking in some air to compose himself, and then his voice replied with "you got come on my face." His voice sounded calm, but was wobbly around the edges.

Seifer laughed, then groaned because it hurt. "I guess it was like the dream, after all."

Squall sighed, his ribs aching now that the afterglow was wearing off. He caught Seifer's castless in his mouth and licked off the rest of his own semen. He wiped his cheek clean and did up his pants. "I thought you wanted to hear about your mom?"

"I know. But, thinking about the past and what you could have had really makes you appreciate what you have right now."

He said that with the complete, heavy gravity of someone who'd learned that lesson the very hard way. "You want to talk about it?" Squall asked, finally breaching _that_ subject. Saying Astor's name earlier had been the first acknowledgement of the gorilla in the room, but Squall was still afraid to bring it up. Even if the proof was written in new scar tissue all over Seifer's body.

"Not yet," Seifer answered simply. He closed his eyes, even though it didn't really make much difference, and held Squall tighter. Right now, he didn't want to examine what he'd been through. He wanted to embrace what was ahead of him.

----

"It feels dusty," Seifer commented when he ran his fingers over a fake plant in the corner of his room. He was sure that it was the kind of fake plant that nobody would ever mistake for a real one, and it was only there to give the room a false sense of cheeriness. And, it would fail at it, too. His voice had a very dreamy quality to it, and lacked real inflection because of the painkillers. Seifer had tried to explain the concept of being stoned earlier to Serino, but gave up when the moogle got hung up on why it was called being 'stoned'.

"It's an affront, kupo." Serino made a little sniffing noise of contempt. A fake plant?! Really?! Humans, he was discovering, had even more silly practices than he could have imagined.

"Not exactly the first kind of thing I wanted to be feeling now that I have all my fingers free." That morning, after a thorough examination and another awful bout of cheese-grating his burns, Seifer had gotten the last of his finger casts removed, as well as the bandage over his face. The skin was still swollen around the seam scars, but Tiernan said he was pleased with how well the reconstruction went. The scars would be minimal after a while. Even the one that Squall had given him between his brows was now gone thanks to the skin grafting procedures. Seifer didn't know how he felt about that one. Today was also the first day he'd gotten to use the bathroom under his own power. It was nice to be able to do things for himself again, even if it did take him five minutes to lug his weak muscles out of the wheelchair and he had to sit on the toilet to piss. Ah, the small victories.

"No, I imagine not, kupo."

Seifer gulped back a snort of shock. To hear a moogle say something so acutely sexual was a once in a lifetime experience. "I uhh... I suppose you're right. But, Squall has a job to do right now. Even if a big part of me kind of wants to forget the whole thing like him."

"You're afraid to lose him, kupo."

Seifer nodded. His fingers moved away from the dusty plastic plant to some kind of ledge. A window? "I just want him to be okay."

"He will be," Serino assured. Seifer had no clue how he could possibly know that. He then peeped happily. "I can feel the love in your aura when you think about him. It feels nice, kupo."

"Is homosexuality a concept that moogles understand?"

"Of course, kupo. Maybe more than humans. Just from Squall's reactions around people when the subject comes up, I can tell there is some wariness about it. Like, you're afraid, kupo. Moogles don't care about that sort of thing. Love is love, kupo. Though, since we're so endangered, mating is top priority, even if love is not involved. It's sad, kupo. Sad, but necessary."

"Have you found any moogles?" Seifer started slowly wheeling across the room, counting how many wheel rotations it took to get to the door. His chair had the option of being electronic and driven with a joystick type thing, but he preferred to use his arms. His muscles felt very weak, and he wanted to get them moving again.

"I haven't seen any yet, kupo. But, I smell that a few have been around recently, a couple being females. I'd say within the last month. I'd say they're still in this building, but it's so big that it might take time to find them. But, it's not all a lost cause. I'm learning a lot about humans, kupo."

"Like what?" Seifer asked, interested.

"That the only strength in you is your brain. If this were the wild, I don't think humans would have survived for very long."

"No, probably not. Though, we are good at destroying each other."

"I also find it very interesting how visually diverse you are. But, I suspect that's so you can tell each other apart, kupo. You primarily rely on your eyesight to figure out who people are, and your eyes are so poor that you need to have so much physical diversity."

"Especially my eyesight," Seifer joked, though it came out very venomously.

"Kupo," Serino peeped. "Though, you probably can now notice your other senses going into overdrive? We moogles use a lot of aura sensing, but we also use smell. I'm sure you've started to notice how different people smell."

"Yes."

"Squall and his father are an interesting case, kupo. It was commented that they do not look alike, and you wouldn't know that Squall and Laguna are related, but that's a perfect example of the weakness in human senses. I think they are very much alike. Their auras show it, as do mannerisms. Physically there may not be a lot of similarities, but I would have known they were parent and child without having to be told. They are both also more connected with the spiritual world than most. Maybe that's why he was so initially drawn to Sorceress Rinoa. And, why he's so drawn to you, too."

"I don't have a spiritual connection."

"Maybe not in the same sense, kupo. But, you two do have some kind of heightened sense of each other. I wonder if it comes from your dragoon blood?" Serino peeped thoughtfully under his breath.

Serino continued to think, and Seifer could smell something that he was sure was a date as he heard Serino chewing. He continued to explore his room and tried to see if his fingers could tell the difference between the sheet and the pillowcase when he heard the door swish open. A smile immediately came to his face because he was expecting to smell leather and masculinity, or even the spicy mysteriousness of Quistis's perfume, but instead he smelled something fruity and feminine. The smile wilted and became frozen in fear when he felt magic in the air. Because magic was still working heavily on his injuries, he was more acutely aware of magical changes in the air, and he felt the heavy press of it now.

"Hi, Seifer."

His voice was completely failing him, and when he heard her gentle footsteps in the room, he couldn't help the instinctive flinch, which caused a wave of pain to move through his body. He could hear that she was walking slowly towards him, but he still rolled the chair back a little.

Rinoa faltered, seeing the wariness on his face. "Are you afraid of me because of what happened with Garden?" She asked sadly. She wasn't sure what anyone had told Seifer about her arriving in Esthar and helping Quistis and Squall escape Xu and the other SeeD. Quistis didn't talk to her about Seifer, and Squall didn't talk to her at all.

"More like because I stole your boyfriend, maybe."

"Oh." Truth be told, she hadn't thought about that much. It was so obviously over between her and Squall, and now she only really thought of her growing affection for Raijin. "Yes. That." She slowly lowered herself into one of the uncomfortable plastic chairs. She smoothed her skirt over her knees and looked at Seifer. He was looking back at her, though with the milky film over his eyes it was hard to tell exactly where he was focusing in his new, blind world.

"Don't lie to me and tell me you're okay about it."

"Okay, I'm bitter. I wish you would have told me. Or Quistis. I know why you didn't, since you were being loyal to Squall, but you should have told me," she said firmly. "Instead of treating me like I'm made of glass."

"I wanted Squall to tell you, but I couldn't do it myself."

"I know. You love him, and..."

"He wasn't ready to tell you," Seifer said. His voice was firm and a little brash, but she could see that his fingers were shaking ever so slightly as he petted Serino. "And, you weren't ready to hear it."

"I should have been told, instead of being treated like a fool," she said with anger. Anger she didn't even realize was still in her. She wasn't mad that Squall had cheated on her and lied about it for so long, but that he _lied_.

"You weren't ready," Seifer repeated, blind eyes narrowing. "If you'd been ready to hear the truth, you wouldn't have believed that he and Quistis could kill Cid."

"That's not fair," Rinoa said automatically. Angrily. Angry because she knew Seifer was right. She could see it in the hostility in Squall and Quistis's eyes when they looked at her. She knew it in her heart, at the sick feeling in her stomach when she thought of why she'd ever believed Xu.

"It's not fair, but it's true. But, I mean... I'm not blind to Squall's faults. So to speak, anyway." It was meant as a joke, but didn't really sound like one. "I love Squall's faults, but I know they're there. He didn't do himself any favours. And, he wasn't ready to tell you. If I'd told you instead, he would have fallen deeper into drugs and alcohol. He would have blamed himself and wouldn't have been able to come to terms with it."

"I... I guess I didn't really think of it like that. I guess it just goes to show how much I don't know about him."

"Squall doesn't make it easy to get to really know him. It's not your fault."

"I didn't want this to happen to you, Seifer. I..."

"Don't," he interrupted. "Don't apologize. You don't need to apologize for something that Astor and Xu did."

"But, if I'd believed in you..." She began, tears stinging her eyes.

"It happened," was the frank reply. "And, I should be the one apologizing to you. I should probably have more restraint when it comes to Squall, and we shouldn't have went behind your back. It was cowardly."

"I'm mad, but not as mad as I should be." She could always speak so clearly with Seifer. It had always been that way. He exuded so much confidence and brash honesty that it rubbed off on her. Even now, he still seemed so invincible to her. A full leg cast, swollen red scarring on his face and a shaved head from the facial surgeries didn't diminish that. It seemed to heighten it. "Like I said, I wish you'd told me. But, I'm over Squall. We were over before we broke up. He's so much in love with you, and I don't love him anymore. It took me a while to realize it, but I'm not. Maybe I'll love him again someday as a friend. But..." She trailed off and shrugged, then blushed when she realized that Seifer couldn't see it.

"You just shrugged, right?"

"How did you know?" She asked, mystified.

"I could hear your shirt rustle. I wonder if my hearing will go back to normal if I ever do get new corneas. I kind of like this super hearing."

"I don't know how you can make jokes. I think I'd be falling apart."

It was Seifer's turn to shrug, but Rinoa could see him do it. His body language suddenly seemed a lot more closed, and she didn't press that line of conversation. Hyne knew he probably didn't want to think about what he'd been through. He was still petting Serino's fur. She knew the temptation of touching the moogle, and saw the natural familiarity between Seifer and Serino.

"You think you'll go back out to study nature when your leg's better?"

"I want to," Seifer said without having to think about it. When Seifer thought that every breath would be his last, he thought about what he'd let his life become, and what he'd _wanted_ it to be. "But, I don't want to get ahead of myself. There's enough metal in there now to make me part cyborg."

"Can I sign your cast?" Rinoa asked. "It looks too white, and casts should be covered in signatures."

"Okay..." Seifer trailed off, taken aback briefly. He heard Rinoa rummaging in something, probably her purse, and then smelled her fruity perfume very close to him.

"Why are you doing that, kupo?" Serino asked, black eyes glittering with interest as Rinoa started drawing little swirly patterns before putting her name on it. "Is it some sort of healing ritual?"

"No," Rinoa murmured, tongue sticking out of the side of her mouth in concentration as she started drawing a tonberry beside her name, knowing how much Seifer liked them. "It's just a way to make someone feel better. It makes them feel like people care, and are thinking of them and hoping they get better. Like a get-well card."

"What's a get-well card, kupo?"

"There!" Rinoa capped her pen and admired her doodle. "It's a tonberry."

"It is?" Serino cocked his head and bowed forward on Seifer's shoulder as he examined the drawing. "It doesn't really look like one..."

"Wha...?"

"I'm sure it's adorable," Seifer murmured. "Thank you."

She looked up and smiled. "Don't worry about it," she whispered, knowing he didn't mean her tonberry drawing.

She got up when she heard the door open behind her. She was a little worried about Squall finding her in here. He probably wouldn't be too pleased about it. He'd been far less forgiving towards her than Seifer was now, and he'd see her being here as a threat to Seifer's safety. He barely even wanted to let Tiernan in the room. But, it wasn't Squall. It was someone she was quite glad to see. Though for Seifer, he was hoping that it would be Squall. He knew that Squall and Quistis had to plan their attack on Xu away from him, because if Laguna got wind of what they were doing, he'd put a stop to the whole thing. But, Seifer missed Squall's constant companionship. He missed having the smell of _Memento_ and leather in the air, and the feel of Squall's warm body pressed against him. The taste of his mouth, the sound of his voice, the smoothness of his skin...

"Hey, you're out of bed, ya know?!" Raijin exclaimed cheerfully. He crossed the room in two giant strides and kneeled in front of Seifer's wheelchair, beside Rinoa. "Morning," he said to Rinoa, just as cheerfully. Though Seifer had just been thinking of how he'd wanted this visitor to be Squall, when heard Raijin's unflappably positive voice, he felt a lump growing in his throat, and a massive swell of affection.

"Hi," she replied, heart leaping into her throat. Raijin smelled really good today. Squall who?

Seifer cocked his head thoughtfully, and Rinoa noticed. Had he heard the change in her voice?

"You look a lot better today!" Raijin said happily. His eyes were shining with happiness to see Seifer up and around. Seifer had always been his hero, and always would be.

"It's the painkillers."

"Hey, someone drew a dog on your cast! Or, is it a cat, ya know?!"

"It's supposed to be a tonberry, kupo."

"It is? I guess moogles can't really use a pen as well as a person because you don't have real fingers."

"I drew it," Rinoa admitted, cheeks burning.

"Oh!" Raijin exclaimed, cheeks flushing. "And, it looks awesome!" He exclaimed lamely.

"Ohhh, this is my train all over again," Rinoa muttered.

"No, it's great! It's a way better tonberry than I could draw. Seriously, ya know?! Just... don't start crying, okay?"

"I wasn't going to!" She exclaimed, swatting his shoulder lightly. "Listen, I'm going to let you two have some time together. I have to go to the labs anyway." She rose to her feet. "Seifer, I..."

"I know," he replied, wanting to save her some more embarrassment. "I'll see you later. Kind of."

She smiled sadly and leaned forward to kiss the top of his head. She also kissed Serino, who peeped happily as her magical aura brushed against his own.

"See ya later, ya know?! Want me to meet you at the labs after? We could have coffee."

"Okay," she agreed, voice lowering shyly. "Bye."

"You look sooo much better, ya know?!"

"You like her, don't you?"

"Huh?"

Seifer shook his head. He'd heard the change in Rinoa's voice, but didn't mention it to Raijin. He was obviously ignorant, and he didn't want to force the issue. It seemed an odd parallel to what'd happened with her, Squall and himself. "I could hear it in your voice," he chided. He loved Raijin to death, but there were times when he wanted to bash him over the head to open his eyes. This was one of those times. It was painfully clear, even to a blind man, that Rinoa had feelings for Raijin. Seifer didn't know if they were love or lust, but they were still there. And, he could hear that Raijin liked her too, but was completely unaware to her signals.

"Well, yeah I like her. She's fun. So what? She needs a friend since Squall and Quistis are avoiding her, even though Squall doesn't have the right to treat her like shit after what he did."

Seifer sighed. "I hope you aren't going to be mad at Squall forever, because he's a part of my life now. Hopefully until I die. I want you to be there too, Raijin."

"I... I'm just afraid he'll hurt you again."

"Yeah, it could happen. But, even if it does, I'd rather be happy for a little while."

"I guess I gotta accept it then, ya know?!"

"I think you and Squall could get along really well. You could actually talk to him about Galbadian hockey, which you know that I find boring as hell."

"Squall isn't exactly easy to make friends with."

"No, but it'll be worth it when he opens up to you." His eyelids were starting to feel heavy from the painkillers. He leaned his head into Serino, snuggling against his soft fur.

"You think you'll go out into the wilds again for study?" Raijin asked after watching the way Seifer seemed to so naturally interact with the moogle.

"Depends on my leg. I don't know that I'll ever be able to climb really hard terrain again."

"Most people would have said that they didn't know if you'd breathe again. Well... everyone would have said that. Except for Squall and Quistis."

Seifer smiled, and Serino peeped happily about something that Raijin couldn't see, but maybe he could get an idea of. The smile on Seifer's face as he struggled to stay awake in the wake of the drugs in his body... he was just so happy, even after all the horror. Raijin continued to sit on the floor, watching Seifer nap, staying perfectly still as to not wake him up. He sort of thought about what Seifer said about Rinoa, but mostly he just watching Seifer sleep, where he looked at peace for the first time in a very long time.

---

Selphie slowly drove her model Doomtrain across her desk, but it was without her usual flare and sound effects. It was more with distant apathy that she ran Doomtrain over some half-read documents, banging the face of the replica into an empty paper coffee cup. She banged the train into the cup again and again without even realizing she was doing it.

__

Do you mind

? Doomtrain asked telepathically. He wasn't junctioned to her, but he was sitting in a chair across from her desk. Now that Xu was using Eden, Doomtrain seemed to be hanging around her more, rather than disappearing to the summon realm.

"Huh?" Selphie looked up, realizing she'd been staring at nothing. Her computer screen was in front of her, showing the official report written by Astor about Seifer's death. The last report Astor would ever write. A report about the reason Squall murdered him so brutally. "Oh." She lifted her hand off the model of the creature who now sat across from her. Though, like Alexander and Diablos, he took a human form sometimes. He was a tall, rail thin black man whose skin was so dark that it seemed to have blue highlights rather than brown. He wore an old fashioned black coat with a high collar and intricate black embroidery on it. You could only see the variations when the light hit him. He also wore a top hat jauntily tilted forward over one eye. In the shadow of the brim, his eyes were poisonous green and glowed ominously. He only spoke telepathically to Selphie because when he opened his mouth, gaseous poison spilled out.

__

If you have such suspicions, you should follow them through. Isn't that your job?

Doomtrain asked tartly. Because he could see her thoughts, he really had a way of cutting through the bullshit.

Selphie stood, full of restlessness. She started pacing, Doomtrain's noxious eyes following her every move. "Squall killed Astor. We know that much. I mean... butchered him." She stopped and turned to face her GF. "BUT..." She said loudly, because she knew that Doomtrain was going to nettle her with another maddening mental comment. "I might have done the same thing, if it were someone I was in love with. Maybe if it were Irvine. But, now he's turned his back on Garden, too..." She sighed heavily, shuffling across the room and flopping into Doomtrain's lap. He was so tall and she was so tiny that it was easy for her to fold herself into his spindly arms. He smelled like metal, hydraulic oil and toxic chemicals. It was a smell that she actually found very comforting.

__

I've never known you to be so hesitant about uncovering a possible conspiracy.

Selphie sighed, breathing in the strangely comforting smell of Doomtrain's poison, which was engrained in his black skin like cologne. "Because then I would be wrong. And, to be wrong about _this_ About Squall and Quistis. I mean, at least they're still alive to apologize to. But, Seifer..." She pressed her face into his chest. It was cool, more like metal than human skin. His heartbeat sounded like a train racing along the tracks.

__

Then, make it up to him.

Doomtrain put his arms around his mistress. There was a deep connection between them, much like Seifer and Odin had shared. They possibly could have had the same sexual relationship, but his human body's fluids were all as poisonous as his breath. Even one ejaculation would kill Selphie instantly, and no human contraception could hold back such darkly magic venom. And, she knew that. It wasn't like the subject had never come up.

"No." Selphie pulled away and stood up. "Xu wouldn't do that to Quistis. She wouldn't ruin her on purpose."

__

Why not? Power makes you all ugly. And blind.

Selphie crossed her arms and looked away from him angrily. She knew the last part was an insult to her.

__

I would never trust anyone who junctions Eden for such long periods of time. Or at all, after knowing what you now know about that power. And, it's strengthening.

"Strengthening?" Selphie asked, peering over her shoulder at him, though she kept her arms crossed to show that she was still pissed at him.

__

Something... strange. It's nothing that has to do with junctioning, but like it's siphoning power from elsewhere. I cannot explain it, or find the source. Eden's powers are beyond me. A more powerful summon such as Bahamut, or especially Odin, could possibly fathom it, but I don't think either of them would help Garden right now, since this very organization killed their master.

"Odin doesn't have a master," Selphie pointed out sadly. Doomtrain's comment was a knife in her heart. He knew her so well and could see through any veils she put up and she welcomed it, but sometimes his directness hurt.

__

Not in the traditional sense, but he came to Seifer Almasy's aid, after being defeated by him. I know Odin. He would pledge himself to the end of time to someone who bested him.

"So, what am I supposed to do?" She asked helplessly. She spread her hands out, forgetting to be angry at her GF.

__

What you always do. Keep digging until you've pissed off everyone and gotten to the bottom of it.

"Like... why Astor was at that facility? And, where is Luchia now?" Xu's first lieutenant hadn't been seen in a few days, and Selphie's casual questions had gotten shrugs. And, Xu wasn't even seeing anyone right now. Even Zell was getting shut out. But, even with all these juicy mysteries at her feet, Selphie was scared to pursue them. Because, if she'd been wrong all this time... God, she didn't even want to think about it. Seifer was dead and there was no apologizing for that. But, what if she found that definitive nail in the coffin? Selphie knew there would be a trial for Squall and Quistis. Especially Squall after Astor's brutal murder. What if she found something that was that one little thing that put them in the gas chamber?

Doomtrain cocked his head and looked at his mistress expectantly. He knew all her thoughts, so knew what was coming before she pounded her left fist on her right palm. "I'm Selphie Tilmitt, dammit. I solve mysteries and blow stuff up!"

__

Do you wish to go to Fisherman's Horizon?

"Onward, my locomotive lover!" Her tone was bright and cheerful, but the skin around her eyes was tight, making her look like she'd aged years in the span of months.

__

Shall we leave now?

"Sure. Just..."

__

If you're doing an investigation, it might not be wise to invite your friend. He is in a relationship with the woman you're investigating, after all.

"I still feel like I should tell him."

__

If you wish

. Doomtrain shrugged his shoulders. The gesture was almost insect-like because he was so thin.

Selphie left Doomtrain's human form in her office. But, he would just reappear wherever she needed him, anyway. She made her way to the dorms and Zell's room. The door was closed, no light peeking out from under the door. Usually, the thump of music could be heard from within if he was in there, but today it was quiet. She pressed her ear to the door and knocked quietly. "Zell?" She called.

"It's open," his voice called quietly after a long pause. When she opened the door, the room was lit only by a lamp on the night table. Zell was laying on the unmade bed, his SeeD uniform and a couple other dirty pieces of laundry scattered on the floor. It wasn't a large mess, but considering what a neat freak Zell was, it was a little disheartening.

"Hey..." Selphie sat on the bed beside his hip. It looked like he hadn't shaved in a few days. "You okay?"

Zell's pale, pale eyes slid over to her. "No," he answered dully. "What's to be okay about?"

Selphie bit the inside of her cheek. There wasn't a good answer to that question. "You look like you haven't been sleeping."

"I haven't. How could I? Every time I try, I hear Squall screaming Seifer's name, and I see him dying. I know they're wanted criminals, but... we knew him, you know?" His quite voice broke just a little.

"I know, hon."

"Xu's taking it bad, too. I know she hated Seifer, but wanting someone dead and actually having them dead are two different things. She's just gotten so removed since then, and Astor's death hasn't helped."

"You think it's okay for her to be junctioning Eden so much?" Selphie asked doubtfully.

"I think it's 'cause she's just upset," Zell muttered. "I can't blame her. Look what happened with Astor. They'd been working together for a long time, and for Squall to..." Zell trailed off. "You saw the pictures, right?"

She nodded slowly. Squall'd been in Garden his whole life, so was more than capable of murder just like the rest of them, but that level of viciousness was shocking. "I guess he wanted revenge for Seifer."

"Astor didn't even kill Seifer, though. Squall... we don't even know him anymore. He's a maniac."

"Zell, I'm going to Fisherman's Horizon."

Zell's eyes narrowed in the low light. "Why?"

"Like you said. Astor didn't kill Seifer. So, why would Squall do that to him?"

"Why would he have killed Cid?" Zell answered rhetorically. That was a question they'd asked over and over and over again, and couldn't come up with an answer that didn't rip their hearts out.

"I have to know."

"Are you sure?" He asked darkly. "Maybe the answers will be worse than the questions."

"I have to know. And... I don't want you to tell Xu."

He sighed, slowly sitting up. "Why not?"

It was a request that had just poured out. It's not like she planned for it, and the answer was just as quick to come. "What if?" Was all she said.

"You sound like Irvine. Are you going to betray Garden, too?"

"I'm going to find the truth. That's what Garden's all about."

"Even if the truth is something you don't want to know?"

"Even if." Selphie rose to her feet. "You didn't kill Seifer, Zell. His screams shouldn't be your nightmares." She leaned forward and kissed his forehead. He smiled sadly at her and let her leave. She made her way to the parking garage to get a car to drive to the train station in Balamb Town, mulling over her own words earlier. _Even if._

_----_

Quistis looked out the window to the endless skyline of Esthar. After a long planning session, locked away in her room, she and Squall had called a break. They just needed to separate for a while and process their next move. They both wanted to be with Seifer, but he was in a long physiotherapy session to keep the strength in his leg muscles, followed by his first session with a psychiatrist. He hadn't said much about what happened to him under Astor's control, so she wasn't sure that he would talk about it with a shrink. He probably didn't need that much exercise time since it had only been a few weeks that he'd been immobile, but Seifer pushed himself almost to the point of insanity. He wanted to get better, and it fired both her and Squall up in turn. Squall, of course, hated it because it meant he couldn't be with his lover. But, he had an appointment with his AA counsellor, so that left Quistis on her own. It was a strange feeling, since she was so used to being with Squall and Seifer all the time.

But, she really wasn't alone. Jurgen stood across the hall, leaning against the wall and watching her. Like always. She started slowly walking to nowhere in particular, lost in her own head. Forming routes, planning for every contingency. All the 'what ifs' played in her head over and over again, and even so distracted by what she and Squall had to do, she knew that Jurgen was there.

She stopped in front of a small coffee shop. It wasn't strange to see little places like this peppered within the Palace. The building in itself was a small city, so there were all kinds of restaurants and little shops within the building, similar to an airport or train station. She ordered one black coffee and a green tea. She sat at a small, empty table and pushed the black coffee to the other side and took an experimental sip of her tea. "I didn't get cream or sugar in it, since I didn't know how you like it."

Jurgen looked at the coffee like he'd never seen a cup of it before.

"Well, you're going to have to sit here and watch me drink my tea, so I figured you'd want something, too. Especially because I drink it slow. Look, I even sat so your back wouldn't be to the room."

"But, yours is."

"We both can't sit facing the room, or I'd be in your lap," she pointed out logically. She bowed her head to sip her tea, wondering if it was to actually drink or to hide the flush that she felt moving up her neck.

Jurgen hovered for a bit, then finally lowered himself in the chair across from her. His eyes scanned people walking up and down the hall behind her. He played with the coffee cup, but didn't drink from it. But, Quistis did notice that even though he was so intent on watching for potential danger, his grey eyes did flicker to her now and then. He searched the crowd, but she was the only one he really _looked_ at.

"How close are you to a formative plan?" He asked quietly, still not drinking his coffee.

Quistis nodded slowly as her only response.

"You seem like you don't want to go through with it."

"Of course I don't. I grew up there. Xu was my best friend. To say I'm conflicted would be putting it pretty mildly." _And, I wonder if after all we've been through... if I'll be able to stand up for myself in the end? If I'd done that in the first place, I probably wouldn't be in this mess._

"She won't be conflicted, though."

Quistis smirked, draining the last of her tea. As she stood, she said "Maybe that's what I need right now. I don't want to be like her. You don't like coffee?" She asked as Jurgen also stood.

He looked down at the full cup. The tab on the lid hadn't even been pushed back. "Not really."

"Oh. At least I know not to order it for you again, then."

"You need weapons?"

Quistis pursed her lips. Squall had point-blank, in typical tactless Squall style, asked her if Jurgen liked her enough to sneak her out some weapons. Laguna would have done anything for Squall, but not that since he wouldn't let them leave the Palace if he had anything to say about it. "Can you?"

"Depends what you want."

"A few guns, maybe some kind of magic disruptors. Just enough for us to carry with us."

"Fine."

"In repayment, I guess I'll have to get you something other than coffee, huh? Besides _that._"

Jurgen's pale face instantly flushed. It reminded her of the way that Squall would get so embarrassed so quickly. "I drink water. Plain, but good for you."

Quistis cocked her head. Her hair was loose, and rippled down her shoulder and arm like a golden waterfall. "Water is the building block of life. It's hardly plain." She grinned. "Do you think that because I just bought you coffee that we just had our first date?"

Jurgen actually smiled back. Not just a grin, but a real smile with teeth and everything. She couldn't recall if she'd ever seen him smile before that. It brightened his face and made him look younger. His eyes crinkled around the edges, and his grey irises looked like liquid silver. "I guess for our next one, I'll bring you guns instead of flowers."

"If I survive, you can give me flowers next time." It wasn't exactly flirty, it wasn't exactly a fatalistic promise. She didn't know _what_ it was between them, but she felt comforted that Jurgen didn't seem to know, either.

----

Squall felt like he'd just been beaten with a bag of oranges as he trudged up the quiet, sterile hall to Seifer's room. His AA sessions were very draining, and today seemed especially bad. He knew that he was going to be doing something very dangerous by actually breaking back _into_ Garden, and that it could mean he and Seifer would get separated again, so it was making him want a glass of bourbon and a vial of cocaine. It made him feel weak, and his counsellor wasn't exactly easy on him. So, now all he wanted to do was see Seifer's face and curl up next to him.

When he opened the door to Seifer's room, his blood went a little cold. Seifer was laying on the bed, which was reclined upwards, and Irvine was sitting beside him. Their voices had been low, but they stopped talking altogether when Squall came in. Seifer's blind eyes looked red-rimmed, but Irvine's face gave nothing away.

"Hey, Squall." Irvine rose to his feet. This really was one of the first times he'd seen Squall since Fisherman's Horizon. He'd been staying away from Seifer out of respect, and because he didn't know how Seifer would greet him. Before all this, Irvine had sensed Seifer's hesitations about being Jupiter, and he thought that staying away might be good for his current mindset. But, he really did just want to see Seifer and know that he was doing okay. He cared about Seifer very much, regardless of the Solar System.

He put his cowboy hat back on, and though Squall didn't say anything, his eyes were filled with threats.

"Just visiting a friend," Irvine murmured.

"Irvine," Seifer said gently. His voice sounded soft and distant with painkillers. "Tell Fujin to come see me. I don't give a fuck what Raijin says, or what she thinks I'll say."

"You got it," he said, still looking at Squall as he began to leave.

"Hey, Irvine," Seifer said quietly. He cocked his head, gesturing for Irvine to come closer. When the cowboy hat's brim was near his face, Seifer said quietly, "I quit." He said it just loud enough that Squall could make it out. His breath stopped. Even though he'd been pretty drunk at the time, he remembered one of the captured Solar System members - Mars, dying in Garden custody. And, while in Irvine's care, too.

Irvine smiled gently, looking at Seifer's scarred, swollen, emotionally drained and very determined face. It was hard to tell where Seifer was 'looking', but Irvine still felt very scrutinized. "All right." He then leaned in towards Seifer and kissed him gently on the lips, holding it a little longer than what could be considered platonic. Seifer sat there, frozen in surprise when Irvine's tongue swept across his lower lip. He pulled away and grinned to himself. "Just wanted to see what it was like."

Squall's face had gone paper white and Irvine couldn't help but laugh when he looked at him. "He's a good kisser," Irvine murmured with a wink, tipping his hat as he passed. "You know... if you ever want a new job, I know of a job where your viciousness could come in handy."

Squall stood in silent, jealous rage for a few moments, shocked by Irvine's balls with such a comment. It was broken by Seifer saying "Come over here, okay?"

Squall completely forgot why he was angry when he heard the quiet desperation in Seifer's voice. He could see Seifer's eyes moving around the room in vain, trying to figure out exactly where Squall was standing. Squall strode forward and when Seifer heard him moving, he slowly opened his arms, wanting a hug really badly right then. He let in a shaky breath when he smelled Squall next to him, and swallowed back a sudden lump in his throat when Squall's arms held him tight.

Squall pressed his cheek against the top of Seifer's shaved head, stubble starting to grow back. Seifer was trembling against him, like it was a struggle just to hold his body together. "What happened?" Squall asked. He was pretty sure this reaction had nothing to do with Irvine.

"Bad day," he answered, too choked up to say more than those two words. He'd spent so much time since being in Astor's captivity trying to put what happened to him in perspective. He'd gained that perspective, feeling like he'd been reborn. But, having to dredge it up mentally was obviously very hard. Dr. Golding didn't force him to verbalize what had gone on between Astor and himself, but of course the implication was there, and it made him replay the whole thing mentally, even without having to utter a single word about it.

Squall kissed Seifer's face and didn't offer any clichéd words of encouragement. His silence was comforting. Seifer didn't feel like he was going to cry or anything. He just felt so drained. So raw. He stroked Squall's lean back and shoulders, feeling tension there. "What happened?" He asked, remembering that Squall had his own counselling session today.

"AA's not fun," Squall replied. He thought his problems seemed tiny in comparison to Seifer's, but if he wanted to hear about it, Squall would tell him. "They talk about weaknesses, and how you're feeling inside and why it's making you want to drink, and you're either a superstar who should wear a special crown because you're so awesome and you don't need booze to know that, or you're spineless and weak for wanting it in the first place. Apparently I fall into the latter category. But, my counsellor's also a complete bitch."

"My shrink is nice," Seifer muttered, breathing heavily so he could fill his nose with Squall's scent. "She just let me talk about whatever I felt like."

"What did you talk about?" Squall asked carefully.

"Xu. Astor. You."

"That's lofty company."

"That's not what I meant. But, in those few days they shaped my life as much as you have."

"I probably hurt you even more than they ever could have."

Seifer didn't answer, because denying it would have been a lie that Squall would have seen right through, and that Seifer didn't have the energy to tell.

"So, am I still on The List because of it?"

"Huh? Oh, that." Seifer smirked, momentarily forgetting his sadness. "I'd completely forgotten about that thing. I guess it's something I abandoned when I left Garden. Seemed kinda childish. But, you're still on a List. Maybe not _the_ List, but _a_ List."

"What kind of List?" Squall asked sceptically.

"A good one."

Squall smiled gently, glad that he could bring some warmth into Seifer's voice. But, it was very short lived.

"I lost track of how many times my heart stopped because of the electrocutions," Seifer muttered. His hand slipped up Squall's neck, until he was feeling the other man's pulse. "But, the dying part wasn't what scared me. It was that Astor would come after you. It was looking at what I'd let myself become."

The pain in Seifer's voice was so evident that Squall said "Stop. You don't have to tell me."

"I want to," he said simply. He sat up and looked somewhere near where he thought Squall's eyes might be. "You know as well as anyone that we have to share the bad stuff, too."

"We have lots of time for that."

"Maybe not."

"I thought I was supposed to be the depressing one."

"Have you talked to Odin?"

No reply.

"Squall." He pulled away, frowning. "Seriously?"

"...Whatever."

"Yeah, I had sex with him. So what? It's not like you were being virtuous, either."

"All right, all right!" Squall snapped wearily, knowing he'd lose this battle, big time. "I haven't even seen him in a while. He doesn't stand guard with the other GF."

"He's not like typical GF," Seifer pointed out. "Now that he's back to his full powers, he probably had a lot of other things to take care of. Death doesn't just stop because Garden's in turmoil. I'm not the only thing in the world."

"Maybe not to him."

Seifer felt his face flush pleasurably.

"I'm not taking Bahamut."

"Why not? I think you..."

"No," Squall interrupted. "You need him here. Besides, he's not nearly as powerful when I'm controlling him."

"Powerful enough."

"Seifer, no." If Seifer wasn't going to have arguments about Odin, Squall wasn't going to have any about Bahamut. "Garden's got spies here. I'm sure if there's even a small chance, they'll send someone to kill you. Right now, you're the only proof we have of what Xu's been doing. If you die, then we have nothing to expose her with. And, Bahamut _won't_ come. Now that he knows you, he won't leave the only dragoon unprotected."

"Well, how can I argue then?"

"You can't," said Squall. "So instead of arguing, you wanna kiss me instead?"

"Always." Squall's mouth tasted like heaven. After tasting such gentle warmth, it was amazing to Seifer that people could think Squall was cold.

Seifer heard the door swish open, and when he didn't hear a gasp of surprise or some sort of stammered apology, he figured it was Quistis. She proved him right when she said "I hope I'm not stopping something that was going to become sex. But, if it were... you know, you could keep going."

"I'm on those pills, remember?" Seifer pointed out as Squall pulled away from him. Even in front of Quistis, he was still a little tense about showing affection. But, at least he wasn't pulling away the very second she approached. Baby steps were the only kind Squall could make. Luckily, Seifer found that attractive.

Quistis came and sat down in one of the plastic chairs beside the bed after giving both men a quick kiss on the lips. She waited for a few moments before saying "We'll have weapons."

"Jurgen?" Squall asked. He pulled away from Seifer and sat in one of the other bedside chairs.

"Yeah."

"I really need to meet this guy. Especially since he's dating my Quisty," Seifer murmured.

"Who said anything about dating?" She scoffed. "Just because the guy is giving me some guns."

"You're allowed to like boys, Quisty. Hyne knows the two of us do." Seifer grinned because he _knew_ Squall blushed just then.

"I don't have to like them all the time. There's too much other stuff going on right now to worry about my social life," she ranted. "Besides," she amended. "If he's still around after all this is over, maybe then he'll be a prime candidate. And, he's already moving up the ranks because he hasn't A: shot you, B: sold humiliating photographs of me to a tabloid, or C: slept with a woman who pretended to be my friend and then tried to kill me."

"Please don't let those be your only criteria," Seifer murmured lowly, his head flopping back on the pillow. The pills were getting a bigger stranglehold on him and it didn't look like they would let him stay awake, no matter how much he wanted to.

"Anyway, we should be ready to leave by morning."

Squall nodded, but he wasn't happy about it. Fuck the rest of the world. He just wanted to be here and be left alone with Seifer and Quistis.

"You getting Irvine and Fujin to help you?"

"The subject hasn't come up," Quistis answered.

"I don't want it."

"Don't be stubborn," mothered the former Instructor. "We need all the help we can get. Especially trying to get _to_ Balamb."

"What about Rinoa?" Seifer asked.

"Out of the question." This time, it was Quistis who firmly protested. "They could sense her magical signature from ten kilometres away."

"And, you don't trust her yet."

"And, I don't trust her yet."

"Odin will help, too. Especially were Eden is concerned. You two can't take that thing on."

"I don't want to, either." Squall's distaste for the great swordsman was far overshadowed by the memory of Eden's magic, wrapping around him like hands straight from Hell, trying to pull him under. And, Seifer's screams coming out of its nail-filled mouth. Instinctively, he reached across the bed and found Seifer's hand, squeezing it tight.

"I wish I could come with you."

"You're sitting this one out," Quistis ordered.

"Teacher's orders?"

"You bet. Though, I wouldn't be surprised if you ignored them, since you always were my most delinquent student." She chuckled and playfully swatted his good leg, glad he couldn't see the strain around her eyes.

---

The sun could only just be seen over the horizon when Luchia finally emerged from the seemingly endless stairwell hidden within Tears Point. The dawn winds were chilly, and Esthar was a shadowy, hulking mountain in the distance. She only knew it was dawn, but not which day was beginning. Far below the ground, in a meeting session that was still bending her perceptions, she'd lost all track of time. It could have been hours, or it could have been months. Garden seemed so small and far away.

In the background, a male Behemoth let out a great bellow. It sounded angry, or aroused. She couldn't tell their noises apart. The noise could have been happening right beside her, but she was concentrating on the small object in her hand, and the instructions running through her head. She'd been forbidden to write them down, but why would she need to? The words were burned in her mind forever. The object that she held in her icy hand seemed so meaningless - a small obsidian pendant in an antique, ornate setting. Though it was old, it wasn't tarnished. It had been very well taken care of. The oval cut stone was polished to brilliance, and was on a delicate platinum chain. Even now, when it was still just an antique pendant that smelled of the mysterious perfume that had just worn the pendant hours ago. A woman whose face had shocked Luchia unlike anything else she'd seen in her entire life - which was saying something considering what she'd just seen.

There was a pick-up truck waiting for her, nestled in the shadow of one of the grand statues, her face still cracked from the Lunar Cry. Luchia walked over to it and slid behind the wheel, the pendant's thin chain wrapped around her cold fingers. It hung there in front of the steering wheel, glinting in the rising sunlight. So harmless in her hands, and yet it was at its peak potential for great power in another's. Could she do this?

Luchia shook her head at herself as she started the engine. She would have smirked at her own moment of indecision and weakness, if she were that sort of person. A smile was a completely foreign thing to her. As she drove away from Tears Point, her almost inhuman blue eyes looked in the rear view mirror, and thought she saw the silhouette of a tall, broad man watching her drive away. It happened so quickly that it seemed like a play of light, but she knew better. She nodded and raised her hand in a farewell greeting, knowing he'd seen it, wherever he was watching from.


	16. Chapter 16

****

Chapter 16

Selphie put her hands on her hips, looking around the main lobby of the Fisherman's Horizon outpost, perplexed. The place reeked of ammonia, bleach and other cleaning products, but that was to be expected. She'd done a thorough search, but there was nothing really out of the ordinary. The whole place had a creepy aura about it, but that _was_ ordinary for a place where people were tortured on a regular basis.

"Nothing," she muttered in disappointment. She knew that the hard drive had been wiped, but it would take her portable scanner a while to go through the electronic residue of what had once been there. She wasn't sure if it had been Squall that wiped it... or someone from Garden. The whole thing made her put buying a more modern portable device on top of her to-do list, because this waiting was ridiculous.

__

Were you hoping to find evidence against your former friends, or for them?

"You sound like you already know the answer. So... you may as well tell me, since I don't know."

Doomtrain just looked at her impassively.

"Let's just get out of here," she said, looking around. "This place has bad mojo."

Selphie and Doomtrain started to head up the stairs to the main exit when suddenly Doomtrain flung a long arm out. Selphie walked into it, and felt the wind fly out of her lungs at the force. Doomtrain kept his arm in front of his mistress, body very still. His heart was racing so fast that Selphie could swear a train was barrelling down on her.

She looked past Doomtrain to see Ivan Blackmoon standing at the foot of the stairs, blocking the only exit out of the compound. He had his arms crossed and was regarding them with a dark, disapproving glare. Selphie blinked a few times in surprise. What was Seifer's boyfriend doing here? Or, ex-boyfriend. Not only because Seifer was carrying on with Squall, but because Seifer was also dead. How did Ivan even know about this place?

"What are you doing here?" Doomtrain asked. Selphie could feel his fear.

"What are _you_ doing here?" Ivan asked. His eyes were drilling into Selphie like lasers. "You wouldn't even be able to tell that someone had been murdered here. At least, not with usual senses. But, being in here makes me sick, and that makes me... irritated." His upper lip curled into a sneer.

"Look, how do you even know about this place?" Selphie demanded, starting to get irritated herself. She took a step forward, as did Ivan. But, she couldn't go further because Doomtrain pushed her back hard enough that she fell to the ground and went skidding. She looked up to see Ivan pulling a sword from thin air, and her blood ran cold when she recognized the blade. Ivan's shadow grew until it was covering the entire stairwell, and his body was encased in armour that grew from wailing shadows.

Doomtrain opened his mouth and hissed as Odin completed his transformation from his old human doppelganger. Acidic smog spewed forth, and the hiss sounded like a reverberating train whistle. Selphie could taste adrenaline on her tongue as Odin lunged at Doomtrain. Her GF was trying to shield her from Odin's attacks, because it quickly became obvious to her that Doomtrain wasn't the real target.

Odin was trying to kill her. The realization made her blood run like ice. Selphie knew she couldn't fight him off. She wasn't a swordswoman. _But, Seifer did it,_ her mind pointed out. But she wasn't Seifer. And his old boyfriend was really Odin. And, wanted to kill her for her part in Seifer's death.

_Get to the stairs,_ Doomtrain commanded. _Now._ Doomtrain started circling his skinny, skinny body towards the staircase leading back downstairs. Selphie slowly followed, moving in inches like a spooked cat. She knew that there were rooms down there that had anti-magic generators. If she could just get down there before Odin could reach her...

"I didn't kill him," Selphie pointed out, just wanting to waste a few seconds as Doomtrain sidestepped, using himself as a shield for her.

"You had a hand in it. You betrayed a person you claimed to love." Odin's voice reverberated all around her and vibrated her bones. She had to clamp her hands over her ears because it sounded like hell was screeching at her in the undertones of his chilly words.

"He betrayed me first," Selphie spat out. "When he killed my friends at Trabia Garden."

"Astor had those same sentiments as he destroyed Seifer's body."

"Astor only interrogated him."

Odin laughed, and it sounded horrible. Selphie had to groan because it felt like her soul was trying to escape her body. "Your ignorance is laughable. I hope that someday soon, when you need forgiveness for errors in judgment, you'll be shown the same amount of mercy."

_Go!_ Doomtrain exclaimed in her mind as he opened his mouth and wailed. The noise shook everything, and the room was filled with thick, noxious smoke. Selphie held her breath tight and covered her face with her hands as she made a run for the staircase. She could hear some kind of crash and the smell of something burning. Magic thrummed through the floor, and she could feel it vibrating up her legs. She was suddenly hit with a wall of magic that felt familiar, and she tumbled down the stairs. Doomtrain had pushed her the last of the way.

Selphie groaned as she pulled herself to her feet. She was sure that she'd sprained her wrist falling down the stairs, but she'd admonish Doomtrain for it later, if she actually still had her head attached to her shoulders. Selphie only dared to open her eyes for a second to see where she was going as she ran as fast as she could. She could smell Doomtrain's familiar poison, but she could also cold all around her. It was like she was trying to outrun the grave.

She threw herself into one of the nearest detainment rooms, slamming the door behind her. Even though she was safe in the room, it's not like a closed door would stop magic. She opened her eyes and remembered to breathe out before breathing in. She'd made that mistake before. Doomtrain's magic had a tendency to cling, and before she'd learned that, Selphie had swallowed many a mouthfuls of poison. She quickly searched the room and found the fuse panel that would start up the anti-magic field for the room. She entered her administrative codes into the computer, and felt the magic suck out of her body, and the pain that followed because of her forced disjunction from Doomtrain.

Selphie sank to the floor under the wall panel. Though she wasn't connected to Doomtrain, she could still hear the rumbling of his magical battle with Odin upstairs. Ivan was really Odin The thought left her cold, and even jealous. Seifer'd had sexual relationship with his GF, something that she actually did want with Doomtrain. Their connection was more than just GF and human master. He knew everything about her in a way that no human man could. He was also the only one that she could completely trust. She'd felt very alone since this whole thing with Operation: Mariposa. Even Zell seemed a million miles away from her, and Irvine had turned traitor.

Besides the jealousy, she also felt terror. Odin couldn't just be stopped. Seifer would always be a legend around Garden, whether is was for good reasons or bad. She just wasn't _good_ enough to be able to take on such a legendary swordsman. She could only just hope that the magical barrier would keep him, and his wrath, out.

Selphie yelped and covered her ears as there was a great explosion from upstairs. Even though she couldn't be connected to Doomtrain anymore through the anti-magic barrier, she knew that he'd just been defeated, and was now gone to the summon realm to recuperate and rebuild himself. Her mind was working madly trying to figure out some sort of plan as she heard heavy, metallic footsteps outside the door. Hyne, it seemed so thin...

"I know you're in there," Odin's voice called through the door. She could hear whispers undercutting his words. The voices of ghosts and ushered souls.

"Seifer's opinion of you has always been very high."

Selphie remained silent. _Think, girl. Think!_

There was a loud scraping sound that seemed to go on forever. Selphie pressed her ear to the door despite herself, trying to figure out exactly what was making the noise. She gasped when she heard it again, scuttling backwards from the door. She pulled out her nunchaku and a hunting knife that she kept strapped to her forearm. Then... nothing. All that scraping for nothing to happen? She was almost disappointed. No trying to break the door down like in a horror movie?

She waited and waited until her arm got sore holding the knife up.

"You still alive in there?" Odin asked cheerfully, his voice sounding more human.

"What are you doing?" Selphie demanded, starting to get impatient. Either kill her or let her fight.

Odin didn't reply, but somehow she could sense that he was still on the other side of the door.

"Just kill me already, then!" Waiting around was so not her strong point.

"Do you realize you're in the same room that they kept him in?"

Selphie looked over her shoulder. The room smelled so strongly of bleach that it was making her eyes water. "Yeah, so?" She asked, but she felt a sudden illness in her stomach. "They probably just brought his body here, or he died here from his gunshot wounds."

"There's a trap door in the floor. As SeeD intelligence, I'm sure you know all about those." Odin's voice was blank, but she had the feeling he was getting some kind of enjoyment out of this. Why didn't he just kill her, then?!

She was past the point of irritation, into full pissed-off mode. "There aren't any trap doors," she snapped, even though she lowered herself so she was laying down and looking at the linoleum tiles, which gleamed in perfect cleanliness.

"You can check if you wish. I've got all the time in the world."

_And I don't, _she said to herself mentally. She resisted the urge to say it out loud, because he was just trying to get her mad, and it was totally working. What a bastard. At first, Selphie didn't notice anything strange with the floor, and was just about to shoot a nasty string of profanities through the door. But, then she saw it. The seam in those tiles looked slightly higher than the rest. Only just, though. Silently, she scuttled over and felt around the seams between the tiles.

Slowly, Selphie pressed her fingernails under the tile. It wouldn't budge. She used the tip of her hunting knife as a pry bar, and the floor lifted up slightly. Selphie wasn't very physically strong, so she really had to force it to get enough space to put her hands in. When she did, she grunted and heaved the secret compartment open. Selphie had to turn away, because opening it unearthed a horrible smell. It smelled strongly of bleach like the rest of the room, but the surface in that little hellish room was unfinished concrete, so it couldn't be washed completely free of whatever gore had originally caused such a stench. There were old bloodstains on the concrete, and Selphie had to force down vomit that was rushing into her mouth.

Selphie knew that Garden's policy on torture was one of those things that everyone just accepted existed, and didn't like to talk about. But, there were still sanctioned rules on what exactly could be done to a prisoner. And, none of those sanctioned rules had anything about some bloodstained box that smelled of rotting flesh and worse. Seifer had been in here?! She thought of the cold mania in Xu's eyes recently, and how much Astor hated Seifer. It's not like he'd made it a secret, and because Selphie was also from Trabia Garden, he'd mentioned it to her on more than one occasion.

Selphie leaned into the hole, but then slowly sat back. She couldn't do it. There was just such a horrible feeling about that little crawlspace that she couldn't get any closer. She sat beside the open trap door for a long time, silence crushing her. She took in a shaky breath after a long time and shut the trap door. She couldn't stand the smell anymore. "Okay," she called out, voice shaky. "I saw it. You happy?"

Silence.

"Hey?!" Selphie called, crawling over to the door and pounding on it.

Nothing. She pressed her ear to the door and waited. And waited. And waited. Odin was gone. Selphie tried to open the door, but it wouldn't budge.

"What the fuck...?" She cursed and kicked the door, then cursed some more because it hurt like hell. "So, you're just going to leave me in here?! I'll die!" She exclaimed. "Oh. That's probably the point, dummy." She sighed and flopped down on the floor, trying not to look at where the trap door was. But, now she saw it as clear as a bell, and she couldn't unsee it. She couldn't forget that smell. She'd probably be tasting it for days. What did you have to do to someone to get that kind of smell out of them without killing them?

Because Selphie knew she'd be stuck there at least until Doomtrain was able to reform himself in their realm, she started to get hungry. And, she was mentally kicking herself because her cell was in the pocket of her coat, which was haphazardly slung on top of an impeccably neat, bare desk in the lobby upstairs. Her eyes kept moving towards the trap door, a swooping ugliness pounding her stomach each time they did. Astor had hated Seifer so much because of Trabia Garden. Even Selphie still harboured a lot of anger towards him for it. Even though it had been Edea, under Ultimecia's control, who ordered the missiles, Selphie's blame mostly fell on Seifer. He made a better scapegoat than the only mother she'd ever known. But, imagining him being in that little hole, Hyne knows what done to his body... no, she couldn't believe that Astor would do that. Xu would never order that, no matter how much she hated Seifer.

And Selphie had to believe it, because what then? She'd felt just as much anger about Trabia Garden as Astor. Did that mean she'd be capable of locking someone she'd grown up with in a tiny little box that reeked of decaying flesh and unspeakable things? Even the imagination of it made her skin crawl in disgust. Not just as imagining what had been done, but imagining herself being okay with that.

She didn't want to think about this anymore. Selphie splayed her legs out in front of her, and instead started to think about what Odin had said. It occurred to her that he'd talked in the present tense about Seifer. Would Squall have come here just to avenge a dead man, or had it been a rescue mission? And, why hadn't Odin just killed her? Why was he stalling... so...

"Aw, shit." Selphie banged the back of her head against the door which clanged loudly, then pouted and rubbed it because it had hurt.

The wait for Doomtrain to reform and get her out was arduous. Selphie kept checking her watch and wondering about Garden, and what could be happening there right now. Wondering if Seifer really was alive. Wondering if Squall had cause for what he'd done to Astor, and that press release was just continuing to paint him out as a maniac, just like Xu wanted Oh, the doubt. She hated it so much. Selphie was never much for personal conflict. She always went into places with guns blazing, and second-guessing things was completely out of her element.

"Selphie?"

"Oh, thank Hyne!" Selphie exclaimed when she heard Doomtrain's voice through the door. He couldn't speak telepathically to her because of the anti-magic field, and it actually felt a little off-putting to have his voice in her ears, rather than in her whole head. She quickly rose to her feet and flipped open the controller panel to turn off the barriers.

_Are you all right?_ He asked, voice filling her completely, making her shiver pleasurably with familiarity.

___Fine._

She heard a loud scraping, and then the door was flung open to reveal Doomtrain to her. She flung herself into his arms, and he stooped low so he could hug her back.

_____I thought he might have killed you._

Selphie listened to the sound of his train-like heartbeat for only a moment, letting it calm her. "He was stalling me," Selphie muttered, stepping away from her GF. "He could have killed me if he wanted. He was just keeping me busy. And trying to hurt me." She only cast the briefest of looks back into the room, eyes gravitating to where the trap door was.

__

Stalling for what?

Selphie tore up the stairs and went to her jacket, fumbling in the pockets until she found that one that held her phone. "Oh, come on, come on..." She urged under her breath when she tried to call Garden's main reception line.

Doomtrain could feel her tension, and put a spindly hand on her shoulder as she started bouncing impatiently on the spot.

"Damn! Damn, damn, damn!" She punched the disconnect button and tried calling Zell's cell phone. Again, no answer. "Babe, we gotta go."

_What do you think is happening?_ Doomtrain couldn't tell, because Selphie's thoughts were a jumble of confusion."I don't know," Selphie answered, throwing on her coat with so much haste that she started to put it on backwards. Her conflict came not from knowing something bad was happening or about to happen, but from that she didn't know who to be worried for anymore.

----

Seifer listened with interest to Laguna and Kiros's chatter as they escorted him towards the main doors to a terrace at the back of the Palace, where magic was able to exist freely. Edea and Ellone were also there, chuckling or adding their own commentary to the narrative. Seifer hadn't been around this many people at once in a long time, even if they were people he felt safe with. It made him happy, but nervous and kind of claustrophobic at the same time.

But, he still noticed the tense air around the conversation. Apparently, since Seifer could only take peoples' words for it and couldn't read it himself, there was an article in some of the newspapers about what Squall had done to Astor. Seifer could tell that everyone was trying to skirt around the issue when he was around, like it would upset him. From the details he'd gleaned, the articles had ranged from distant to brutally graphic in the description of Astor's condition upon death. Of course, the press release had come from the Headmaster's office at Garden, so skewed it in a _very_ unfavourable light. Of course it didn't point out that if Squall hadn't killed Astor, he would have been killed himself, and his body probably would have been in much, much worse shape when Astor had been done with him. Not to mention that he would have been repeatedly raped beforehand. But, really... what favourable light could the whole mess be put in? The whole thing left Seifer a little unhappy. Being tortured like that had given Seifer new perspective, and the 'eye for an eye' line of justice made him feel cold. He wasn't happy with what Squall had done, even though he knew it _had_ to be done. Maybe it was because Astor's brutal death had been _for_ him. It was just another body in Seifer Almasy's wake.

Seifer pushed those things out of his mind for now, and thought of actually being outside. There were too many protection wards within the walls, which meant Seifer hadn't seen Bahamut since pushing Squall off the edge of that cliff in the Kashkabald. He'd kind of wanted to go alone, particularly after the pain of having to say goodbye to Squall and Quistis in the middle of the night, but Laguna and Kiros refused to let him go anywhere alone. And, they'd kind of pointed out the obvious that he couldn't find his way around a strange place alone, anyway.

The goodbye had been brief, because it would have just hurt too much to let it extend for more than a few seconds. A quiet 'be careful', and the briefest touch of Squall's lips against his own were the only tokens Seifer received from his departing lover, as well as an equally brief kiss from Quistis. Would that final touch be a memory he'd have to carry with him his entire life to remember Squall by? He had his own scores to settle with Xu, but if she killed Squall and Quistis, Seifer would hunt her until the day he died.

Laguna and Kiros kept up pleasant conversation, and entertained Seifer with stories about all the misfortunes they seemed to fall into. Most of which were completely Laguna's fault, according to Kiros and Ellone to a lesser extent. Laguna liked to boast about how well Kiros could 'borrow' things, and 'visit' people unannounced. It was cute how Laguna tried to describe it as everything except breaking and entering. Seifer could sense Kiros's affectionate annoyance. "Most of the time you didn't even have to sneak into anywhere," Laguna marvelled.

"It's amazing what you can do when you actually pay attention to your surroundings instead of just charging in like a bull in rut."

"Is this stuff you did for the Galbadian army?"

"Mostly," Kiros answered. "But, when we were travelling before we went to Winhill, we needed some way to survive."

"Kiros!" Laguna exclaimed in a very paternal tone. "You shouldn't say stuff like that, man! You make us sound like criminals." He shot Ellone a look, and she just shook her head. Laguna sometimes forgot that she was an adult.

Seifer couldn't help but chuckle, which caused him to grimace.

"You okay?" Laguna asked, concern filling his voice. He put a hand on Seifer's shoulder, and he was surprised that the touch felt similar to Squall's. Maybe Serino was right about more than just physical appearance showing that people were related. Seifer felt a sweep of extra loneliness. He didn't even have the moogle to keep him company now, since Serino went with Squall and Quistis. His veiling magicks would be invaluable for them getting back to Balamb.

"Fine. Just sore. That's bound to happen," he replied dryly.

"Well, you tell me if it starts to hurt, okay? Squall will get all mad at me if I don't take care of you. Where is he, anyway? You guys are like conjoined twins."

"I don't know." Seifer felt terrible about lying to Laguna. Wasn't a really great way to start a relationship with his potential life mate's father. "Probably resting, or at AA."

"Oh, he's going then, is he?" Laguna answered, though the doubt in his voice was evident.

Kiros was very quiet, and Seifer had the feeling that the tall, elegant man knew Seifer was being untruthful. He looked past Laguna to Edea. His eyes met her golden brown ones, and she had the same sort of look on her face that he was sure was on his. Her darkly painted lips were clamped tightly together, and worry gnawed at her face.

Seifer felt air on his face and heard the sound of city din. The air of Esthar proper wasn't exactly 'fresh', at least not what he was used to in the wilds. But after being cooped up in a hospital, and Astor's torture room before that, it was heavenly. Esthar also didn't have much of a smell. Not like Deling or Timber. Timber smelled like the rails, and the trees in the background. And, Deling smelled like gas fumes and old-world, underbelly intrigue.

Seifer let his other senses take over for his eyes as he experienced Esthar. He actually never expected to arrive at this final destination after their journey, so this was a pleasure. It only took a few moments before he felt a tug in his belly. He felt a tug in his belly as Bahamut sought out the power he'd never knew he had, and the power he still didn't know anything about.

The great dragon shrunk himself to the size of a wolf and put his head in Seifer's lap, revelling in the feel of his master's aura. Dinara's child patted his muzzle, feeling the magic swell between them. It felt, somehow, like he was touching the family he would never know.

"You have your mother's will."

Laguna and Kiros looked at each other silently, feeling a bit like intruders. They'd seen this sort of scene so many times since coming to Esthar. People picking up the remnants of destroyed lives. Families torn apart because of Adel and her armies. Laguna looked over at his adopted daughter and knew he'd been lucky to find Elle alive. Others weren't so lucky. Tiernan's whole family had been stolen from him, like Seifer. Though, he'd been an adult, so remembered every horrible detail of Azabaashe leading the charge into his village. Laguna put a hand on his best friend's shoulder, knowing that's exactly what he was thinking about.

_I'm psychically connected to Shiva, Siren, Odin and Diablos. If something goes wrong, they'll let me know._ Jurgen was junctioning Siren. The idea had left Seifer briefly sick, but he had to remember that GF could be junctioned by hundreds of people at the same time. It's not like Astor had exclusive rights on her.Seifer continued to pat the dragon's muzzle, not reacting to the telepathic relay. He didn't want Kiros and Laguna to know until Squall and Quistis were beyond Esthar's borders.

"Bahamut?" Seifer asked quietly.

"Yes?" The dragon asked out loud.

"Since my mother was a dragoon, I have those same powers, right?"

"Yes."

"How come I never used them before? Like... why didn't I accidentally ever summon dragons to me?"

"It doesn't work that way. It's something you have to learn how to use. It takes active concentration." It was Edea that pointed this out. She'd been asked that question a number of times over the years by children of varying powers. "It's not like being a Sorceress, and even then, that takes a lot of practice," she noted, thinking of Rinoa.

"_Could_ I learn how?"

Bahamut paused. Seifer couldn't see the dragon's face, and he knew it would be impossible to read any kind of human emotion there anyway, but he still got the sense of Bahamut's emotions. He was unsure. "I know not. There's only so much I could teach you. It would be the sort of thing that one dragoon would teach another."

"I guess that won't be happening anytime soon," Seifer muttered bitterly.

"There could be other survivors out there," Laguna pointed out, always seeing the bright side of things. "Ones that survived as children, like you. There's people all over Esthar that were part of some kind of mystical tribe that were scattered to the wind because of Adel."

__

I need you to teach me what you can. I'll try to figure out the rest on my own. I just

You want to help them. I know. Stubborn as your mother.

Kiros watched as Seifer grinned sadly, fingers still on Bahamut's muzzle. The dragon looked quite content to just sit there with his head in Seifer's lap. He wondered if he should just blurt out that he'd guessed that Squall and Quistis took off for Garden, but he knew Laguna would freak out, so he held his tongue. Not just freak out, but go absolutely crazy. He'd lost Squall once, and Kiros knew Laguna would never let it happen again.

Kiros found himself watching as Seifer and Bahamut seemed to have some sort of mental conversation, but it wasn't the marvel of the great dragon king sitting with a man like he was a pet. He was staring at Seifer, and forced himself to look away because it wasn't exactly... proper. The still swollen and stark scars on Seifer's face did nothing to take away from his attractiveness. Kiros knew he had a type, and it was tall, blonde, with a fiercely handsome face and an utterly masculine body. All the things that Seifer was, and it made his hormones go into overdrive. Hell, he'd given Tiernan a blow job six hours after he'd met him because of how that kind of man wreaked havoc on his libido. And, Kiros's libido didn't care that Seifer was half his age, and in a relationship with a man who he saw as almost family. A flush entered his cheeks when some really inappropriate images entered his mind that featured his tongue going to very private places of Seifer's body.

He willed the daydream away, and noticed that Laguna was chuckling about something. Instead of finding him reading some text message on his phone, which is why he usually laughed out of the blue, Laguna's sea blue eyes were staring straight at him, and he was giving a humoured shake of his head. His eyes twinkled merrily. He knew _exactly_ what Kiros had been thinking.

"Shut up," Kiros hissed, cheeks getting even hotter.

"What...?" Seifer asked, wondering what was so funny. He started to feel very paranoid, wondering if they were laughing at him.

"Kiros thinks you're sexy," Laguna blurted out, followed by some laughing and the hard sound of a punch when Kiros's fist connected with Laguna's shoulder.

"Ow!" Squall's father exclaimed through his laughter. He was glad that looks couldn't kill, because Kiros's glare would have been a painful death indeed.

"Don't you have _any_ sense of social decorum?"

"It's okay," Seifer answered distantly, still partially connected mentally to Bahamut. "I'm not embarrassed. Far bigger things in the world to worry about. It's kind of flattering, that a handsome older man might be attracted to me, even with all these scars." He grinned.

"Squall obviously doesn't care," Ellone commented. "Where is he, anyway?" She looked at Laguna who shrugged, but when she looked at Edea and Kiros, and noticed how quiet her Matron had been all morning, darkness started to cloud her mood. What stupid and heartbreakingly noble thing had Squall gone and done this time?

Kiros checked his watch and frowned, still casting a death glare to Laguna. "If he and Quistis stowed on the dawn train, they'll be in Balamb right now."

"Train? What train? Stowed? What are you talking about?" Laguna asked, laughter vanishing from his face in staggered intervals until he was furrowing at Kiros in mass confusion.

"Quistis and Squall took off in the middle of the night so they could break into Garden and take down Xu."

"WHAT?!" Laguna bellowed, face darkening in anger. "That little shithead! His ribs are still broken! What if he gets hurt more?! Oh man, he's _so grounded _when he gets back." Laguna's hands were curled in the air as if he were invisibly strangling his son's neck.

"Seifer..." Edea trailed off in a very disapproving, motherly tone. "Is this true."

"Of course it is, Matron. We can't live like fugitives anymore. And, you guys can't exactly hide us forever. This is what you and Cid trained SeeD to do. And, his murderer is getting away with it."

Edea frowned. Seifer had always known how to be vicious with words when he wanted to prove a point.

"Still!" Laguna pointed out angrily. "They shouldn't have just gone off alone."

"Irvine and Fujin went, too." Seifer neglected to mention exactly what that meant. Laguna could happily offer Squall, Quistis and Seifer amnesty, but if he knew that Irvine was Sol, it would be a far different story.

"Oh, that makes me feel so much better!" Laguna threw up his hands. "How can you sound so calm?!"

"I'm not calm," Seifer whispered, still stroking Bahamut's scaly muzzle. He could feel power tingling under his fingertips. It kind of felt like he'd just remembered something that he'd forgotten, much like his entire childhood. "I'm terrified of losing them."

"So, was Jurgen just not watching them...? Oh... never mind..." Laguna muttered as it dawned on him that Jurgen probably went, too. "He should have stopped them."

"He should be exactly where he is now," Kiros pointed out logically. "This way, at least they're getting some Esthar support. And, we can just say he went rogue."

Laguna let out a long string of angry, helpless expletives. "I want to know what's going on at Garden right now. We have to find our contact." He clapped Kiros's shoulder. "Oh, dammit... where the hell did I put my glasses?"

Seifer heard Kiros sigh, and felt a hand squeeze his shoulder as they left. Laguna, because it vaguely felt like Squall's touch.

"I can't believe Squall and Quistis would be so reckless!" Edea exclaimed angrily. Motherly.

"This is Squall, remember?" Ellone pointed out. "He doesn't seem to be happy unless he's risking his life in one form or another. Oh!" She gasped. "Sorry, Seifer."

"For what?" He shrugged. "It's true. Though... do you still have the phone number of that guy you wanted to set me up with last year? I think I might need it."

"Seifer!" Matron swatted his arm, then apologized when he winced. "Don't talk like that!"

"You're right. It's not as fun if Squall's not here to get all mad and jealous."

She made a disapproving noise but then said "I know you've always cared for him. I hope that you two can eventually enjoy some time together, but trouble just seems to follow you wherever you go. You were the most maddening children to keep an eye on because of it."

"To be fair, Matron, most of the trouble was my own fault."

"I can vouch for that," Ellone piped up.

"Squall wasn't trouble, unless you count as a tripping hazard because he was clinging to your legs the entire time."

"He was so adorable," Edea mused. "He used to smile a lot more back then. And, you used to strut around like a little king."

"More like a tyrannical warlord." Seifer grinned partially. His face was hurting a lot today, so even smiling was tense. "I can't remember much, but I do remember being able to make Zell cry just by walking into a room. Man, I'd like to do that right about now," the grin turned a little dark. "Except I wouldn't be able to see it. Squall and Quisty never talk about it, but the fact that he believed they could kill Cid really hurt them. And, my reasons for wanting to hurt him are completely unselfish for once."

"You never really wanted to hurt Zell."

"Yeah, I did. I wanted to have power over someone, to make someone else feel weak." He grew silent, thinking of something unfathomable to both women. He'd been to places inside himself over the past month that most people couldn't ever reach. "I'm not proud of it, but I can't lie about it."

"Oh, Seifer." Edea stroked his shaved head, which was now covered in thin golden down where it was growing back in. "You're starting to look tired. You should go back inside."

"I don't want to," he muttered stubbornly. "Normally before I go to sleep, Squall will read to me. I don't want to just lay there and listen to silence." He smiled to himself. Squall was currently reading him a piece of homoerotic fiction that had some pretty raunchy scenes. Squall's voice would start to stammer and he'd stumble on his words when he'd get to the very graphic sex scenes, even though he begged Seifer to do things to him that were ten times dirtier than what he was reading. It made Seifer want to fuck him mercilessly, and he cursed his unresponsive penis to the depths of hell. "I'm staying here. And, even if I'm an invalid, I could still kick your ass if you make me go back."

"I believe you!" Ellone exclaimed.

"Oh, darn." Edea looked at her watch. "I need to get back to the children. I promised to take them into town today. The planetarium is having a show this afternoon, and Raijin will be waiting." He'd agreed to watch the orphanage children while Edea visited with Seifer. "I hope he finds a nice girl and has a family soon. He'll be a wonderful father."

"I'm sure it won't be long," Seifer murmured, thinking of the growing possibilities between his friend and Rinoa that even a blind man could see. "He'll probably adopt half those kids from you."

She leaned forward and kissed Seifer's scarred cheek. "Please get some rest soon, okay? And, think positive thoughts. Squall and Quistis are the best SeeD Garden ever had."

"That's only because I didn't graduate," Seifer said with self-deprecation.

"I'll see you later tonight, dear." She kissed him again, then kissed Ellone's cheek before leaving. But, not before she gave her former ward a long, knowing look.

"You and Matron can stop giving each other faces. It's not like you could stop me. I'd find a way to get out, no matter how you detain me."

"Seifer..."

"If he's in trouble, Elle, I'm not going to just sit here and do nothing. And, you'd do the same so don't say you wouldn't. He's your brother. I know you considered using your powers when he was drunk. You must have thought of it again now."

"I learned my lesson about dabbling with the past. It doesn't change anything. And, Squall would kill me if you got hurt again!"

"Well, if he's dead, he won't be able to."

"I hate arguing with you."

"Because I'm always right?"

She squeezed his shoulders. "Because you're so annoyingly stubborn." She sighed. "All right. I won't say anything yet. But, I hate lying to Uncle Laguna."

"I'm not asking you to. Delaying the truth is different than lying."

She frowned, looking out across Esthar with her hands still resting on Seifer's shoulders. "Do you think they're in Balamb yet, Seifer?"

"It's probably only a matter of time before we see something on the news about it." Seifer closed his eyes, feeling a little dizzy when a strong wave of Bahamut's power went through him. His magical defences still weren't all that great, so the magic felt very raw and wild. More powerful than normal, but that it was about to go out of control. He needed to be able to focus a small fraction of the dragon king's power if he really wanted to help Quisty and Squall, because while he wanted to protect them with his own life, he was finished with killing other people. He'd done enough of that in his life.

----

"How bad is it?" Quistis whispered from under the tarp she, Squall and Serino were hiding under. Jurgen was posing as a deliveryman, driving an open-bedded truck up to Garden. The trio were hidden among the apples under the blue plastic. It was a reminder of when Seifer had driven them out of Timber in much the same manner. It seemed so long ago.

Squall just grunted, tossing the newspaper aside. It had been in the cab of the truck, and the front page was covered with the press release about Squall killing Astor. It made him look like a monster, but he honestly didn't give a fuck. Let Garden and the rest of the world hate him, because right now he hated them, too.

The three stowaways stiffed when the truck started to slow down. Quistis instinctively reached across and grabbed Squall's hand. He squeezed it back. They both had the same feeling they'd had back when they'd gone through Time Compression and were standing just outside Ultimecia's turret, that black magic wafting out and hitting them like a sledgehammer. There had been no room for failure back then. There was no room for failure now. Except, back then, they'd had all their friends beside them, and the support of the world. Now, they were on their own, and those friends they'd stood shoulder-to-shoulder with now stood against them. But, Seifer was on their side. That thought kept them going.

"Okay, we're here." Jurgen's voice was quiet through the tarp. "This is the right place?" He asked, helping them out of the back of the truck. He'd parked beside a secluded pump station a couple of miles away from Garden. It was weird, seeing their former home so close. The last time Squall had been here, he'd been breaking up with Rinoa. He'd been worried that Seifer would never speak to him again, and he'd had no clue that Xu would betray them so thoroughly.

"Thank you," Quistis said as she and Squall made their preparations to enter the sewer network to get into Garden. Jurgen was going to cause a distraction when they signalled, and use Estharian machinery to jam Garden's magical sensors, at least until Quistis and Squall were in position.

"Keep in touch." He nodded to Quistis and turned back to the truck. No ceremony, no tearful pleas to be careful. He knew she wouldn't want to hear it.

"Oh, fuck it. Jurgen!" She quickly strode towards him, and when he turned around she grabbed the front of his shirt in her fists and planted a heavy, controlling, and very passionate kiss on him. He stood there like a statue for a few moments, taken by surprise as Quistis devoured his mouth. But, being a man and being inside a living body took care of any hesitation pretty quickly. He put his arms around her and kissed her back with an equal amount of force, though Quistis was still dictating the whole embrace.

Squall watched with one corner of his sultry mouth turning up in spite of himself. He knew that Quistis wanted Jurgen and it was about time she kissed him, but it made him think of Seifer, and the quick peck they'd shared, paling in comparison to this kiss, and paling even further to what their possible last kiss should have been.

"You'll see him again soon, kupo," Serino encouraged, petting Squall's hair from his position on the man's shoulder.

"I wish I'd said more to him."

"He knows. And, he loves you too, kupo."

"Thanks." Squall briefly turned his face into Serino's fuzzy belly. The smell was delicious and comforting. It smelled like home.

Serino made a twittering peep noise, because he was ticklish there, where Squall's breath was displacing his fur.

Quistis broke the kiss, still grasping his shirt. Jurgen's perfect grey eyes had a glassiness to them that she was sure was also in her own eyes. He was a very good kisser and he tasted nice. Her body hummed with the sexual possibilities and from the small release, like she'd taken a sip of water after a long period of thirst, but was still craving a whole jug. His dark lashes fluttered rapidly in surprise, but recovered enough to kiss her again, crushing her body in his arms. Their teeth clashed together and they breathed heavily.

Quistis broke away again, looking firmly into his stormy grey eyes, so pale and cold with a perfect ring of silver around the iris. She committed those eyes to memory.

"Good luck," he said as they broke apart. No ceremony. No tears or emotional declarations. She fell in love with him, just a little bit, for it. They pulled their bodies apart, their fingers the last things to separate. He went to the truck without a backwards glance, and drove away. Leaving them to their task.

"You okay?" Squall asked as they lifted the manhole cover that would take them into the sewers.

"Yeah."

Squall didn't elaborate, because that 'yeah' was the same one he'd said to her when she'd asked if he was okay about leaving Seifer behind. They dropped down into the sewers and started walking. They didn't need to consult the stolen Estharian blueprints, because they'd memorized them. Serino hunkered down on Squall's shoulder, closing his eyes. He didn't like being underground, and he needed to be able to concentrate more when down here, because being underground weakened him.

The sewers themselves were fairly new and clean, as far as sewers could be clean. There was a distant fecal and rotten smell, but Balamb had water treatment so while they wouldn't be drinking the water that flowed in the sluices around them, at least they wouldn't have to be afraid of getting cholera just from standing near it.

"You okay?" Squall whispered after they'd walked for an hour in tense silence. Quistis was leading the way with her held taut and magic ready in her fist, both in case of attack and to light their way. Squall walked a few paces behind her, his own gunblade in one hand and Seifer's in the other.

Quistis looked over her shoulder, but in the limited blue light coming from her fist, saw that he was talking to the moogle. The concern and softness in his face was very sweet.

"Ku-kupo. I'll be fine."

"I guess you won't find any girl moogles down here."

"I didn't find any so far in Esthar either, kupo," Serino said sadly, voice barely above a whisper.

"Esthar doesn't exactly have much wilderness, though. Kupo."

Quistis stifled a bark of laughter. Squall's voice was so constant and remote that even the cuteness of the trademark moogle exclamation had its fun sucked out of it. "Don't make me laugh. We have to be quiet," she warned in a hissing tone.

"We should be getting near the first checkpoint soon," Squall said quietly. Garden had set up magical and motion sensors the closer the sewers got to Garden. They started walking slower and more carefully when the catwalks got skinnier and the railings vanished. Everything was very black, and it looked like they would have fallen forever, the bottom of the sluices disappearing into the black.

Quistis held up her hand to signal that they should stop. They were at the first checkpoint. Serino screwed his button black eyes shut and concentrated as hard as he could. His body was thrumming with energy, and Squall could feel it vibrating through his shoulder.

"All right," Serino murmured. "Quickly, kupo-kupo." He concentrated hard as Squall and Quistis passed through the first magical checkpoint. They knew exactly where to look for the blinking sensor, and it screamed at them like a searchlight, but didn't change to an alarming red. They even held their breaths when passing, Serino breathing heavily in Squall's ear. When they were through, Serino's round body flopped on Squall's shoulder, and he had to catch the moogle so he wouldn't flutter to the ground.

"We'll rest a minute," Quistis mouthed in the stark magical light as Squall crouched on the catwalk, holding Serino steady.

Serino peeped gratefully, pulling some dried apple rings from his little satchel.

"I guess I don't know any good information about animal study like Seifer," Squall whispered in a sort of apology. When they'd been travelling through the Centra mountains, Serino and Seifer had talked for hours about ecosystems and flora and fauna.

"S'okay, kupo."

Quistis suddenly felt a buzzing against her hip, and patted her jacket pocket to find the disposable cell phone she'd picked up in Esthar before leaving. "Irvine," she whispered, checking the text message. Squall hadn't exactly been over the moon about Irvine helping them, holding some anger towards him for having Seifer become Jupiter, but he wasn't stupid enough to refuse aid. Irvine was headed for Galbadia Garden with Fujin. Garden's computers were all hooked up together, and Irvine could do better hacking from Galbadia, since he knew that school as well as Balamb. From Galbadia, he could also try to shut down the magical sensors so Quistis and Squall could move more quickly, and more importantly, get to the upper levels of Balamb Garden, where Xu would be.

"Said he's about an hour outside G.G."

"We'll keep moving. No sense in waiting now." He looked to Serino. "You okay?"

"Keep walking, kupo."

They walked for another long stretch of time until they came to the second sensor gate. It was hard to tell how long it had been, since it was too dark to really see their watches. Serino looked worried and exhausted, but nodded that he was ready to block their magical energies again.

"There should only be one more," Quistis promised as they continued walking. The smell of sewage got stronger as they neared the main treatment station under Garden.

"Hang on." Squall stopped when Serino nearly fell off his shoulder. He was so weak that he couldn't keep himself upright.

"I'm sorry, kupo kupo..." Serino coughed out.

"Don't be." Squall cradled Serino in one of his arms. The moogle's fur looked dewy, and he was shaking.

"We're almost there." Quistis held up her magically lighted fist and looked around.

"Okay." Squall looked up when they stopped. There was a ladder leading up to a manhole cover that was supposed to be situated in Garden's main maintenance room. He looked down at Serino cradled in his arms. He looked too far gone to be able to shield them once more. "Call out Diablos, and I'll call Shiva."

"Squall..."

"You go through the air ducts in the maintenance room. You need to get to Xu. Me and Jurgen will buy you the time."

"Squall, no. I don't want you to sacrifice yourself for me."

"I have my own scores to settle."

Quistis's mouth turned down, but she saw how Squall's own was set in a firm, thin line. He was in mule-mode, and there was no way she was going to be able to budge him, stubborn bastard. "All right. But, you have to _promise_ you'll be smart."

"I promise," he uttered firmly. The whole world may have been against him, but he still had too much to lose. Just thinking of Seifer waiting for him in Esthar raised Squall's sense of self-preservation to astronomical levels.

Squall and Quistis both called out their GF. Squall could feel Diablos's bats flutter all around him in the darkness as they swirled up to the manhole cover. Shiva's coldness was at his side, and they heard the wrenching sound of magic and metal bending all at once, and then the manhole cover was blown off. The remnants of the spell that had been around the sewer entrance into Garden washed down on them in hot waves. Serino immediately flew up through the hole into the maintenance room. Now that he wasn't underground, his magic flooded back into his small, round body and he was able to cast a magical barrier while Squall and Quistis hoisted themselves up into the stark cement room.

Garden's boilers hummed in unison all around them as Diablos's body formed from the bat cloud, and he hovered behind Quistis like a creepy shadow. She looked up and around the room at the few air ducts, bringing up the blueprints from her photographic memory. She nodded and went towards the one she needed. "Okay, ready."

Squall followed and crouched on all fours so Quistis could stand on his back to reach the grate. She pulled a small collapsible drill from the pouch at the small of her back, and began to loosen the screws holding the grate in place. Serino hummed and chirped under his breath and kept the barrier going. Though he was stronger now that he was topside, it was obvious that he was exhausted, and the anti-magic force field was visibly flickering.

"Hurry," Squall huffed as Quistis's heel dug a little too close to comfort to the cracked rib. She was heavier than she looked when she was standing on him like this.

"Okay." She gripped the grate and stepped off Squall's back. He let out an 'oof' of discomfort, and then made a basket with his hands to vault her up to the now open duct.

"Serino, ready to drop the barrier?"

"Kupo..." He murmured shakily.

"1, 2, 3." Quistis put her foot in Squall's gloved hands and jumped as he raised his arms so she bounced up to the duct, and was able to haul herself into it. Diablos turned to bats again and swarmed in after her.

"Your turn." Shiva used her magic to create an ice block that Squall could stand on so he could replace the grate. Serino's barrier was now nearly completely translucent, and Squall had to work fast to screw the grating back into place. He stayed perfectly still as he did, because the block was really slippery, and Serino's barrier wouldn't do any good if he dropped the grating and made a huge noise that would call any SeeD within earshot.

When he was done, he stepped down. "You should maybe hide."

"I want to help, kupo!"

"You already have. Get some of your strength back, okay?" Squall petted Serino and flicked his pom-pom affectionately. "Me and Quisty will be back soon."

"I've heard that a lot before, kupo." Serino flew up to the top of a metal cabinet, flopping down because his little purple wings just couldn't hold him up anymore. His glittering eyes looked at Squall sadly as the human left the room. Serino never thought he'd become so attached to humans, but the feeling that he might not see the two of them again filled him with dread.

Squall closed the maintenance room door behind him, pulling Lionheart and Hyperion off his back. Shiva floated behind him, the air around her tense with magic. The halls felt so strange, walking down them again after so long away, after so much had happened. Squall pressed his back to the wall when he reached the door that he knew would lead into the parking garage. Hyne, it was a different Squall that had once walked through this school. Dutiful, unquestioning, cold and alone. He'd been a drunk, and without Seifer.

_Be careful,_ Shiva mentally warned him. _I sense strong magic nearby. But... I can also sense Eden. Xu must have called it._Squall shook his head. He couldn't think about that now. He couldn't picture Quistis at the hands of that abomination. He had to think of the task at hand. He counted to three and blasted the door open with magic, Shiva flowing out ahead of him with a wall of thick ice magic. Squall felt a metaphysical punch to the chest, and Shiva was blasted back. Wind and ice surrounded Squall, and he could smell smoke and hear the sizzling of boiling water where fire hit Shiva's icy skin.

Squall immediately threw up a wall spell, and through the warped air, he could see the hot, orange brimstone of Ifrit as the fire demon lunged at Shiva. Her face contorted in rage as she fought back, razor-sharp ice shards embedding in Ifrit's skin. He howled and Shiva attacked again with cold fury. She and Ifrit weren't the best of friends at normal times, but the anger that made her serene face ugly came from her master as Squall looked down the hall beyond the Summons tangling together in battle. Squall's eyes met Zell's, and his whole body felt like he was the one on fire, not Ifrit.

Zell had arrived at Squall's position so quickly because he'd had Ifrit specifically looking for Shiva for days now. Ifrit knew the ice goddess's magical signature very well, and had sensed her presence as soon as Squall had called her from within his body. There were explosions near the quad and most of the SeeD had gone there, but Zell knew their main target wouldn't head there. He knew that Squall would be here.

He hadn't known what he was going to do, though. And now, looking at Squall whose face was white with rage, he still didn't. He hadn't slept properly since Seifer's death, and was plagued by the memory of Squall screaming Seifer's name. He could see Seifer arcing back as the bullets entered his chest, falling as blood splattered everywhere. Zell felt intensely guilty, even though he hadn't actually fired the gun, and he could tell that Squall blamed him, too. But, then he also thought of how Astor died, and it made his former friend look monstrous, so full of anger and holding a gunblade in each hand, ready to do the same to Zell that he'd done to Astor.

Squall continued to glare at Zell through the smoke of a fireball thrown from Ifrit's paw. He thought of Seifer's screams coming from Eden's mouth. He thought of the pain like his heart had been ripped out when he thought Seifer was dead. He thought of the pain that lingered in Seifer's eyes, and all over his face, even though he was trying to hide it because he didn't want Squall and Quistis to worry. Pain caused by people who claimed to have been their friends. Caused by this fucking place. Caused by Squall himself. A lot of his anger at Zell actually came from his own sense of guilt. He still blamed himself for calling Seifer for help back in Galbadia and putting him in this position in the first place. He blamed himself for Astor breaking Seifer's body. He knew he was using Zell as a scapegoat, but didn't care.

Squall let his wall spell fall, and immediately started running towards Zell. Zell had to do a back flip to avoid the two deadly gunblades. Zell was as fast with fire magic as he was with his fists, and that was the only thing that saved him from decapitation. He flung out a wall of hot magic, and it bowled Squall backwards. He went skidding down the hall towards the main part of Garden.

"Where's Quistis?" Zell demanded. He knew that his former teacher would be making her way to Xu's office, but didn't know how. Because her GF was Diablos, she was able to completely shield herself now that she was in Garden, surrounded by everyone else's magical signatures.

Squall pulled himself to his feet, oceanic eyes looking almost inhuman with anger.

"You gonna do to me what you did to Astor?" Zell asked as he dodged another double swing. He was normally chatty, but had the extra desire to fill the silence of battle, because Squall was frightening him, and he really needed to try and unnerve the other man or else he was going to lose the fight, messily and painfully.

Seifer's gunblade was a lot heavier than his own, and Squall couldn't use it quite as well as his own. Plus, he hadn't been practicing his swordplay lately and was underweight, so he found himself getting tired quickly. He knew that Zell's endurance and physical fitness were incredible, so this wasn't a good sign. He saw a thin line of red ooze up and stain the leg of Zell's pants after a swing of Hyperion in his left hand. He had to put up some defensive magic when he felt Zell starting to cast more fire, but then the short blonde man rushed him, and it felt like he was being hit by a car. Squall flew backwards as Zell tackled him, their bodies crashing to the floor. Squall lost his grip on Hyperion and it went clattering down the hallway, and the air went out of his body in one painful swoop. He felt something inside him crack, and knew it was his ribs, that had only been hanging on by a thread. The pain was intense, and Squall had to really struggle not to black out, especially when a heavy fist connected with his chin. His jaw, which also had a precarious hold on healing, resonated with the blow.

Zell was a smeary blur of colour above him, but Squall still arced his elbow up and it made contact with Zell's cheek. The move had been purely on instinct, and when Zell fell backwards, Squall rolled over and bit back a scream. He felt himself retch, and it tasted like it was mostly blood. He and Zell both struggled to their feet, and as Zell was righting himself, Squall rained lightning spells down on him. He knew that Zell had defences up, but it would still buy him a little recovery time, and more importantly, it would buy Quistis some more time. He started casting cure magic on himself to dull the pain, but knew that it wouldn't do the trick. He would need Tiernan to fix him up again. Squall was sure he'd be furious about it, too.

The room spun as Zell tried to right himself. Squall's elbow had rung his bell good, and the lightning spells crashing all around him, deafening him to Squall's movements, didn't help things. He blindly flung out fire magic, and the electrical barrage stopped, so he knew he must have hit Squall. Squall groaned and half-crawled across the floor towards Hyperion. He needed it in his hands. Having it thrown out of his grip seemed to symbolic. This gunblade was, right now, the last connection he had to know that Seifer was back in Esthar, waiting.

Zell could see that Squall was really hurt. He didn't want to kill Squall, but at least he could see a way to subdue him, because there was no way he could win this fight if it went on for too long. He kicked Squall in the ribs and then kicked Hyperion away. Squall made an inhuman noise of pain, but the eyes that glared up at Zell were full of anger.

"Why are you doing this?!" Zell demanded. He wanted any kind of answer, to make sense of this whole mess. When Zell moved to kick him again to try to completely incapacitate him, Squall gripped Zell's ankle as tight as he could. It was pressing Zell's shoe into his broken ribs and the pain was nearly blinding, but he kept holding on, and forced a heavy-duty electrical spell up through Zell's leg. The skin to skin contact made the spell extra strong. Zell's whole body jerked like he was a marionette, and he was flung backwards.

"Seifer suffered worse than that for days straight," Squall rasped out. His voice didn't even sound like his own because of the pain. Each syllable was agony, and breathing in made him want to just slit his own throat. "And, you ask me why I'm doing this."

"Seifer died in the Kashkabald!" Zell groaned. There was a buzzing in his ears that he was pretty sure was a very bad sign. He knew that Squall would kill him. He wanted retribution for whatever fantasy world he was living in, where Seifer was still alive. Where he hadn't killed Cid. And, because Zell knew that Squall was going to kill him, and that Squall was a better soldier than he ever could be, he pressed the call button hooked on his belt.

"Xu really does have you completely brainwashed."

"Xu would never do what you're accusing her of!" Zell shot back, groaning when he felt Ifrit take a massive blow from Shiva's magic. The hallway was filled with smoke and ice dust, floating among the black smog like little diamonds.

Squall's head jerked up when he heard the tattoo of many footsteps all running towards him. He slowly picked up Hyperion and knew that Zell had called for reinforcements. But, when he saw at least a dozen Galbadian soldiers, cold ran through him. _Xu, you cunt_, he mentally cursed, but it was with a begrudging admiration. If Squall died here at the hands of the Galbadian army, that would be exactly the fuel to start another war between Esthar and Galbadia. Did she really want to start another war just to keep her seat of power? To keep all her awful secrets?

"Put your hands up, Leonhart!" The captain of the small army force commanded from within his full face mask. He had his submachine gun trained on Squall.

Squall took in an agonizing breath and readied both gunblades. A wall spell charged all around him as he faced down this new threat. He thought of Quistis, crawling through the air ducts to face down her former best friend, and he thought of Seifer, suffering pain a hundred times worse than what Squall was feeling now. It gave him all the courage he needed to charge forward, headlong into a dozen Galbadia soldiers.

----

"Where is she?" Xu hissed, pacing back and forth in her office. She would periodically look down at the rug she kept stepping over. Nida was still down there. He hadn't been as compliant as she'd wanted at first, and Eden's magic fucked him up too much, so she'd started pumping him full of heroin. It left him malleable and agreeable, and utterly hers. He now needed her more than anything to keep his body flowing with drugs. He would do anything she asked for one more high. He loved her now.

"Perhaps somewhere underground. Quistis knows this building very well," Luchia murmured, ever calm and cold. She watched Xu's manic pacing with detachment as she clasped a thick file folder in front of her, not fidgeting with it in the slightest. All around Xu, the air was black and like a miasma. Sometimes, the silhouette of a human form could be seen within the swirling evil, and then other times silhouettes could be seen that defied what the human mind was capable of comprehending. Evil, demonic things that would have driven a person insane if they could understand what they were looking at. But, Luchia felt oddly calm, even in such a black presence.

"She should be dead," Xu said through clenched teeth.

Luchia knew that, between the lines, Xu was accusing her. But, she didn't care. The delicate onyx pendant around her neck seemed like a calming effect. It protected her from the revulsion of being in Eden's presence, and from being near Xu. Eden's power wafted out of every pore of Xu's skin. It made Luchia sick, that Xu had weakened herself to Eden like this. She'd once been so strong, and now she was reduced to a pathetic, paranoid tyrant clinging to her power by her fingernails.

"Go find her!" Xu shouted. The idea that Quistis was coming after her, and was actually in Garden, terrified Xu. She was going to lose everything because everyone around her was so incompetent.

"No."

Xu blinked and looked at Luchia. "What?"

"No."

"What?" Xu demanded again. Luchia had never said 'no' to her about anything.

"I said no," Luchia replied calmly. She stood with her hands clasped in front of her, and watched Xu with her cold, electric blue eyes. "I'm not going to help you anymore. You've fallen too far for me to respect you anymore."

"You're a SeeD, and I'm your commanding officer! You have to follow orders!"

"Yes, but not from you. I officially resign my post as a member of SeeD." Luchia looked away from Xu and focused on Eden. Would this thing even be able to understand? "_Eillesste ti Cloathaica va Dia Mirama,_" Luchia chanted. She'd studied the words written for her repeatedly. They'd been written with the greatest of care, in complete phonetics. The importance of saying every syllable of a magical language that she'd never heard spoken before had been hammered into her. "_Iramma aa Thuxia doth immalamei Chrism Dia Adel neraa Phaflora. Moiro ti Cloathica va Dia Mirama._"

The air that hovered around Xu changed. It congealed, and the shape of Eden's human guise became solid. The thing's red eyes bore into Luchia, and she forced herself not to flinch away. She reached up and ran her fingertips over the onyx stone and repeated "_Moiro ti Cloathica va Dia Mirama._"

Eden's blood-red eyes continued to stare at her in a way that made her soul feel x-rayed, but Luchia didn't look away. Eden's mouth turned up in a hellish smile that put all the nails on display, black spittle threading between them like spider webs. Eden started to move towards Luchia, the power hovering around Xu like an aura being sucked away. Xu stood frozen, and could only watch as Eden now stood very close to Luchia. She was almost choking on the smell of rotting flowers and fresh sewage.

Eden's finger, with a rusty blade for a tip, reached out and grazed the surface of the pendant. Luchia suppressed a flinch and kept looking into Eden's eyes. Eden's human form nodded, and then exploded into a black, ugly cloud of magic, sucking into the pendant until the room was completely empty of its energy.

"Good luck in your duel with Quistis. You'll need it." Luchia turned her back on Xu, knowing that she would probably never look upon her again.

"Wait!" Xu shouted angrily. "You bitch! You traitor!" She screamed in desperation. She felt weak and cold now that she was separated from Eden's magic. She flung magic at Luchia, but it blasted off a strong wall spell that was surrounding her former lieutenant. Xu's whole casting hand went numb from the blow-back. The protection spell was no magic that Luchia herself was capable of, and it also didn't feel like Eden's magic. This was new magic, cold and powerful. Luchia opened the door without even acknowledgement to Xu, and made her way to the elevator. Nobody would stop her, because Xu wouldn't call for help. Because, then she'd have to admit she lost control of Eden. Luchia took he emergency route down so she could avoid being seen by a lot of people. It would be poor luck to die right now, after finally getting Eden.

"Everything's clear in this area!" A SeeD she didn't know informed her as she made her way through the dorms. She knew of a few clever ways out of Garden. It was ironic that some of those ways for sneaking out at night had been made famous by Seifer Almasy of all people.

"Good work," Luchia praised without looking at the male SeeD. She ducked into the janitorial closet that had a window for airing out the room when mixing cleaning solutions. She overturned a bucket and stood on it so she could jimmy the window open. There were delicate scrape marks around the lock from many a student escaping in this same manner to go into Balamb town and do some underage drinking, or to meet that special someone for more than just coffee.

Luchia wiggled out of the small window, careful to keep a tight hold on the file folder. It was nearly as precious as the onyx pendant to her new acquaintance. She dropped to the grass and made her way down the goat path that had been carved by students' feet over the years. It led down the hill in the direction of the beach, but she made a turn towards the woods. She only passed a couple of SeeD, but they didn't pay her much attention since they thought she was just going to check on something, and she was a way higher rank than them.

She started walking towards the woods, where she would be home free, but then temperature suddenly dropped, and the pendant burned where it touched her skin. She felt a shudder go through her entire body, and she went cold down to her marrow. She turned, and wasn't really surprised to see someone standing there, alone. It wasn't Squall or Quistis. It wasn't a SeeD or even one the Galbadian soldiers Xu had hired. It was Odin, and Luchia was so scared that she was eerily calm.

Odin had sensed the release and transfer of Eden's powers, and followed the unnatural feeling here. He'd expected to see Xu, but the fact that it was her lieutenant wasn't what surprised Odin. It was the strange aura that surrounded her. He pulled out his famous sword, and Luchia knew that it was pointless to fight back, or to run, but her instincts won out over her mind. She turned and bolted further into the trees. She couldn't outrun Odin, but she couldn't stop herself. She was like a snail being chased by a wolf.

Odin flung out a magical throwing knife towards her, but oddly it bounced off the air around her. When it did, Odin felt the magic vanish from his arm and he lost all feeling in it. Luchia kept running, branches snapping around her, whipping and cutting her skin. Her face stung where the branches drew blood, but she didn't dare stop moving.

"Miss Blackwell!" A voice called urgently from the trees. "Miss Blackwell! Come to me!"

Luchia recognized the voice as the man who'd met her in Fisherman's Horizon to give her the strange letter that started her on this path. She could feel Odin's immense magic pressing down on her, but somehow it was being kept all at bay, and she ran faster than she'd ever run in her life. Luchia rarely showed fear, but she was showing it now. She panted and whimpered and her whole body shook in the rare display of emotion.

"Miss Blackwell!" The voice was very near now. Luchia's electric eyes scanned the trees until she saw him standing amongst the shadows of the canopy, beckoning her towards him with outstretched arms. She could hear explosions in the distance from Garden as she practically tackled the man. He grabbed her, and his embrace was as cold as Odin's magic. His icy hand fumbled at Luchia's chest, until his fingers closed around the onyx amulet containing Eden's powers. His hand was so cold that her nipples immediately grew hard. When he whispered words that she didn't understand, black tentacles of magic seeped from within the stone, wrapping around them.

Luchia fought against her natural revulsion towards this seemingly undead envoy, and put an arm around his bony shoulders as Eden's magic whipped around them and created a barrier against Odin. Odin felt greatly weakened by this strange magic, and when he tried to teleport after Luchia, he felt his power ebbing away from him. Eden's magic, fuelled by the power of a new master, punched into him at full-force and blasted him into the summon realm, his sword-arm still completely numb.

----

The gunblades in his hands felt so, so heavy as he swung yet another arc at a rushing Galbadian soldier. Half of them laid dead all around him, and he, Zell and the soldiers all had lost footing at some point during this drawn-out battle because of all the blood on the floor. He was physically and magically exhausted, and Shiva looked on her last legs. She was looking thin and translucent, and he was sure she could only take a few more powerful hits from Ifrit before she'd be gone completely, and he'd be left on his own. And, if that happened, he wouldn't last more than a minute. At least Squall had more room to manoeuvre now. He'd slowly led the fight out into the main hallways of Garden, keeping the Galbadian soldiers in the hallway, creating a choke point.

His ribs were like a blowtorch, and each breath seemed like it would be the one that would cause him to black out. He wasn't able to hide that he was seriously injured, so his opponents made an effort to hit him in the ribs. He would have done the exact same thing. Squall was pretty sure that he might be doing some permanent damage, but he was a man possessed. Each time he involuntarily cried out in pain because he took yet another blow to his ribs, Squall could hear his jaw crunching and cracking in an ominous, unnatural way. Looked like it was getting worse, too. But, every time he thought the pain would consume him and he'd have to give up, all he did was look in Zell's eyes, and his rage festered again within him like cancer. He hated that Zell didn't trust him, and especially didn't trust Quistis. He hated that Zell had let himself be cowed by Xu. He hated that he'd let himself feel strongly for Zell, and it had been stomped on.

As Squall arced his arm and decapitated one of the Galbadian soldiers with Hyperion, Zell willed Ifrit to make a move. Squall was slower than usual because of the broken ribs, and that huge swipe with such a heavy weapon had caused him great, and obvious, pain. Squall couldn't help the scream that tore from him when Ifrit slammed into him like a burning battering ram. His left arm went numb, and Lionheart clattered to the floor. He groaned and tried to rise to his feet, but the guns of the six remaining Galbadian soldiers all were cocked and trained on him, and Ifrit's paw was pressing down hard into his back. It pressed his ribs into the unforgiving floor, and he coughed and retched up blood. Zell's lime green sneakers with their bright yellow laces were a smear of gaudy colour as he walked towards Squall and stood over him. Squall rolled his eyes upward and glared at his former friend.

"Come on, Squall. You can't fight anymore. Give up."

Squall's response was to spit more blood onto Zell's feet. He then bit back a scream when Ifrit's paw pressed down harder on his back. The summon kept grinding down until that scream finally came out, long and nearly inhuman. Squall's voice had a wet undertone from blood entering his lungs, but his blue eyes still showed cold defiance. The Galbadian soldiers started kicking him and pulling out billy clubs and whacking Squall in the back and sides. Zell didn't enjoy watching Squall get beaten, but it was going to be the only way to subdue him. Shiva cast ice magic against them, but her magic was wild and undisciplined because of Squall's distress. Ifrit roared and breathed fire at her. It was the last attack that she could survive, and she vanished to the summon realm, calling her master's name and reaching out for him as he still tried to struggle against the beating. Squall wouldn't submit, and Zell knew the Galbadian soldiers would kill him. He felt like he should stop it, out of whatever past they'd shared together, but this was the man who'd killed Cid, and was now here to kill Xu. Maybe he _did_ deserve to die.

Ifrit's head suddenly reared up and he roared as there was a noise that was felt more than heard, rumbling through the floor like an earthquake. Zell's heart felt like Shiva's fist had reached in and clamped around it. It was Ifrit's fear he was feeling. A fireball tore through the narrow hallway, and the Galbadian soldiers were incinerated almost instantly, but not before their screams of agony echoed off the walls. Ifrit flung up a shield around his master as the fire washed around all of them, burning acidic and phosphorous and nothing like Ifrit's fires.

Ifrit's paw lifted off Squall's back, and he ran out towards the source of the new magic. Zell also ran out, and was shocked when he saw Ifrit leaping up towards Bahamut, who looked bigger and more powerful than anything Zell had seen before. Bahamut caught Ifrit in his jaws, and Zell cried out when he felt Ifrit's pain. Ifrit was thrown all the way across Garden itself, and exploded in fire when he hit the wall. Zell's knees buckled at the severed connection, and he felt frozen on the spot when Bahamut's glittering black eyes now focused straight on him. Fire licked from between his jaws, and the power radiating from the dragon king vibrated the whole floor.

SeeD, after getting over the initial shock of seeing Bahamut in this new state, started calling their GF to combat the new threat. Zell still stood in shock, but now he wasn't looking at Bahamut. He was looking at the solitary figure beside the dragon, dwarfed by his immensity. One of his legs was completely covered in a cast. His head was bald and his face was swollen with awful looking scars and stitches, blood running down his chin from his nose. His eyes were searching around as Cerberus bellowed and snapped at Bahamut with all three sets of jaws. The eyes scanning around urgently were completely white with blindness. Even with all these horrible additions, there was no mistaking the man that Zell had hated with such intensity for most of his life. Zell's jaw dropped and he forgot how to breathe as Seifer hobbled forward, still searching blindly.

A few SeeD who noticed this pathetic figure was actually Seifer Almasy, turned their attentions away from Bahamut and focused instead on who was controlling him. Seifer continued to limp forward in complete agony, ignoring any noises around him. Seifer didn't have to worry about the SeeD, because when any of them got near him, they were met with a brutal fireball from Bahamut, and the thick protective spell the dragon had veiled over the son of his one, true mistress.

"Squall?!" Seifer called, moving forward. Each time the cast-covered leg hit the ground and any weight was put on it, Seifer trembled in pain, but he kept propelling himself forward. "Squall?" He cried again. Bahamut had told him when Shiva had been defeated, and he'd immediately demanded that his mother's dragon teleport him to Balamb. He wouldn't just sit in some fucking wheelchair and let Squall die. The only thing that hadn't let the teleportation kill him outright was his dragoon blood, but it left him shaking and feverish, sweating profusely with blood running from his nose and dribbling out of his ears.

Squall groaned, hearing his boyfriend's voice. He curled his hands against the floor, sliding through the pool of his own blood. He struggled himself to a crouching position, tears streaming down his face and sweat drenching his back. He held the scream inside him that wanted to come out when he pulled himself to a standing position. "Seifer..." He tried to call, but his broken jaw made it really hard to form the best word in the whole universe. "Seifer!" He tried again. He didn't care that the pain from those syllables brought vomit to the back of his throat. Now he knew how Seifer had survived what Astor had done to him. Their love was stronger than any pain.

Squall ran forward, completely ignoring Zell. But, it's not like Zell would have attacked them then. He was too shocked to move. And, when he regained semblance of thought, he couldn't have attacked them, for the strangest thing happened. A small, white creature flew from within an air duct, and cast thick magic between Zell and the two other men. It was a moogle, of all things.

"Squall?" Seifer asked again, hand reached up in blindness, trying to find the other man. He found a wall and started to follow it. Sounds echoed, and he realized he must have gone down a close-quarters hallway. All he could smell was blood and smoke. And, he'd heard the pain in Squall's voice.

Squall was actually pretty mad that Seifer was here. He was putting his health in further danger, but right now he was just so happy to see him that he promised himself to be mad later instead of now. Seifer limped closer to the sound of Squall's grunts of pain, blood now covering the front of his pastel green hospital gown. Fire moved up his entire leg, but he ignored it when his outstretched fingers were clasped by Squall's own.

Squall's vision was blinded by agony and tears when he touched Seifer. Seifer's arms came around him, desperate to see him through touch. But, when that familiar embrace closed around his torso, Squall screamed and reared away. Many years later and looking back on this moment in the lifetime they would share together, Squall would count it as the only time he would ever shrink away from Seifer's arms.

"Kitten..." Seifer whispered, reaching up to touch Squall's face. Squall hissed when Seifer's fingers felt the massive swelling on one side of his face.

"Why are you here?" Squall demanded, finding some of that anger.

"Saving your ass, silly." Blood trickled into Seifer's mouth when he spoke. His leg was starting to shake badly, but he ignored it. That horrible scream of pain from Squall was all he was focused on.

"Kupo, kupo!" Serino exclaimed, agitated. "What have you both done to yourself?" He chided, casting some magic on them to lull their pain and staunch any bleeding. It didn't fix anything and would only be a bandage against the real injuries, but it would do until they got to a human doctor. He fluttered around them with worry, keeping his focus on the other human who was just standing there like a statue.

"Where's Quistis?" Seifer demanded urgently. His eyes instinctively searched behind Squall. He could sense someone else there, but their smell was unfamiliar, and hard to place within all this smoke. Zell flinched when those milky eyes raked over him without really seeing him. The scars on his face made Zell's imagination go to ugly places when he imagined how Seifer had gotten them. The photos of Astor's mutilated body went through his mind. He hadn't understood how Squall could have done that to another human being, but... had it all been true? Had Astor really caused all of Seifer's injuries, and more that Zell couldn't see?

"We split up," Squall answered tightly, speaking through clenched teeth. It just hurt too much to open his mouth, and his face was getting so swollen that he couldn't. He briefly looked beyond Seifer to the hall door. He couldn't see Garden's main concourse because of the wall of glimmering blue scales. "How...?"

"Later," Seifer answered, still searching behind Squall. Someone was still standing there. "We need to find Quisty." His hands held onto Squall's shoulders as he suddenly got dizzy from the blood loss from his nose. "Bahamut lost touch with Diablos. She might be in trouble."

----

"It seems like I have to keep hiring, and keep hiring, and keep hiring people to get rid of you. You're like a cockroach."

Quistis's head whipped around when she heard Xu's voice from behind her. She'd been moving through Garden's air ducts until she got near the Headmaster's office. Now she was here, facing her former best friend, knowing that one of them might die right here.

Quistis sucked in her breath as an anti-magic field went up. Diablos was forcibly sent to the summon realm, unable to remain junctioned to her. This confused her, since that meant Xu wouldn't be able to use Eden, either. The anger in Xu's eyes, directed all at her, still stung. She didn't know why she still cared. This woman had ruined her life. She'd put Seifer through pain that no human should have to suffer. She'd ripped Garden apart. She'd murdered Cid.

Xu stood with her sickles out, and Quistis gripped the handle of Save The Queen. She thought of Seifer and Squall, and of the tatters of her own life. Made to feel like a whore and drummed out of the only home she'd ever really known.

"I suppose only one of us will be leaving alive."

Quistis's fingers tightened around her whip as she and Xu slowly started to step towards each other. "Yes, I suppose that's true."


	17. Chapter 17

****

Chapter 17

Quistis cracked her whip and it coiled around Xu's wrist as the other woman arced up with one of her sickles. Their eyes locked and didn't waver from each other as Quistis knocked her hip against Xu's wrist to make her fumble with her blade. Each moment that Quistis stared in Xu's eyes, her rage grew. Everything that Xu had stolen from her weighed down on her, crushing on top of her. She knew that she couldn't think about all that stuff because it would distract her, but it was near impossible not to. How could she not think of all those humiliating tabloid articles with her private areas barely blurred out? How could she not think of Xu making her a laughingstock in Garden, a place she'd given her entire life to? How could she not think of her fractured relationship with Rinoa, Selphie and Zell? How could she not think of Cid dead, and her and Squall on the run for it? How could she not think of Seifer and his broken body? How could she not think of Nida, turned against her? Nida, who'd filled Seifer's chest with bullets and handed him right to Astor on a silver platter.

Still, Quistis wondered, as she had to do a shoulder roll to avoid losing an arm to one of Xu's sickles, she had to question where Eden was. Why wasn't Xu using that hellish monstrosity? It would make the fight go a lot faster. Had something happened? Had Xu lost control of that thing? Quistis did a floor sweep and knocked Xu back. One of the sickles fell from her grip when she had to pinwheel her arms to prevent falling on her ass. Quistis ran towards it, trying to outrun Xu, and kicked it up to her hand. But, it left her vulnerable for just a second and that's all Xu needed to tackle the blonde from behind. Quistis was spun around and Xu's fist connected with her chin. She sprawled backwards into the door, and Xu rushed her. Their bodies slammed against the door and it popped open and spilled them out into the hallway.

Quistis looked up to see the edge of Xu's remaining blade bearing down at her. She jerked her head to the side and heard the blade slice through the air where her face had just been only a blink before. The blade sliced off an inch of Quistis's hair that had fallen out of her bun. The blade came down again, aiming straight for her face, and at the last second, Quistis kicked up and her boot hit Xu square in the back of the hand. It made Xu drop the weapon, and Quistis kicked it away as she vaulted herself to a standing position. The surprise at getting her hand kicked hard let Quistis catch Xu off-guard long enough to land a punch in the face.

Xu stumbled back, her hands holding her nose. Blood seeped out from between her fingers, and hatred boiled from her eyes. Quistis found that she was letting go of her whip. Its coils were falling at her feet like a dead snake. It felt right this way - she and Xu going hand-to-hand. "We'll fight like equals, with no weapons."

"Equals?" Xu spat out. Her voice was muffled from the bloody nose. "When have we ever been equals?" She grit her teeth and tackled Quistis against the nearest wall. Her teeth looked pink because of the blood. They wrestled for domination over each other, and Xu got the early upper hand when her shoulder slammed hard into Quistis's gut. The blonde felt fire through her belly where the stab wound had been from Xu's Esthar assassin.

"We were always equals!" Quistis hissed back, jerking her head to the side when the other woman tried to head butt her. "You're the one who created a fantasy world where I was trying to destroy you!"

"You stole everything I ever wanted. I _told_ you all my dreams. I confided in you because you were my best friend and I loved you!" Xu found it hard to see through all the angry, hurt tears. She grabbed a fistful of Quistis's hair and yanked on it hard. "And, then you turned around and took everything I ever wanted!"

"I never wanted to be Headmaster!" Quistis tried to stomp on Xu's feet, but kept missing because she was dizzy from getting her head slammed into the wall. She saw a flash of red in her vision when it happened again. She grabbed the front of Xu's SeeD jacket and pulled forward as Xu put her weight forward to smash Quistis's skull into the wall again. The momentum caused Xu to fall forward with Quistis, who quickly thrust her head forward so their foreheads smashed together with an audible noise.

Both women stumbled away from each other, black spots and pinpricks of light flashing over their eyes. Quistis shook it off and started to lunge towards Xu again, but suddenly felt the air go out of her, and a burning around her neck. She tried to struggle against the new restraint, but then limbs tangled all around her and took her down to the ground in a flurry of incoherent grumbling and panting. Quistis started struggling stupidly and causing herself to lose air when she heard Xu laughing.

"You thought I would fight you fairly?" Xu asked, wiping blood from under her nose. "Hanging out with Squall and Seifer all that time must have dropped your IQ, dearie. I'll give you all the dope you want if you just kill her," she cooed lovingly, like she was promising a home cooked meal for doing a menial household chore.

Quistis choked for breath, her fingers clawing at her throat. She realized that she was being strangled with her own whip, and the limbs around her were like a bear trap. Thin, desperate and unyielding. The body, surely male because of the chest pressed against her back, smelled of unwashed hair and clothing, but there was something familiar. Quistis's heart raced and her breath failed her for reasons other than being choked with her own weapon. Nida She would have said his name, but her whip was pressing into her larynx. She could feel it burning her skin because of the tightness and the Malboro tentacles it was made of.

Her whole body felt frozen against the fact that Nida was really trying to kill her. She'd always held out this hope, no matter how small and stupid, that Nida was still on their side. That maybe he was working undercover to take Xu down from the inside. Maybe he'd been the one that sent the email that saved Seifer's life. Her breath was leaving her, and yet she still hesitated about fighting back against Nida.

But, something snapped her out of it. It was Xu, saying his name. The way she said it was like a slap in the face to Quistis. She said 'Nida' with such love, and he was still choking her. He wasn't showing her any affection. He wasn't showing that he still cared about her. Her body realized this before her mind, and she instinctively arched her back and slammed her elbows into Nida's sides. Their legs started scrambling and tangling together, and she hooked her left leg around his and used her heel to jerk his knee hard. She knew it hurt, and he made an animalistic yelp that caused the whip to loosen a little. She kept twisting his knee, each time she did it the whip getting a little looser. The black spots that were swimming in her vision and threatening to take her over completely started to recede.

Quistis then slammed her head against Nida's face, and the whip finally came loose. She rolled away from him and pulled her whip away. Her breath came out in a shocked shunt when she finally got a good look at Nida. He didn't even look like himself anymore. She'd never seen him with facial hair, let alone this wild and dirty beard. His hair was lank and greasy, and his eyes were glassy and desperate. She recognized that look. It was like she was looking at Squall back when he'd called her from Timber, at the bottom of the barrel.

She could see Xu in her peripheral vision, and she still knew the other woman well enough to know that she was going to make a run for it. She nodded at Nida, and he lunged for Quistis at the same moment as Xu turned and started running down the hall. "Coward!" Quistis screamed as she started to run after Xu, but Nida took out her legs and they both went sprawling on the floor. Quistis could see Xu's feet retreating, and she wrestled desperately against Nida. She couldn't let Xu get away! Not now, not when she was so close!

"Nida!" Quistis cried. "Wake up! Let me go! It's Quisty. Don't you remember?" She trailed off with a groan when one of his elbows smashed into her kidney. It felt like her stab wound opened up after that blow. "You need to... let me go..." She gasped for air when his hands closed around her throat again. His fingers were like ice against the burns from her own whip. Nida wasn't as strong as he normally would have been, but he was filled with drug-fuelled desperation.

She managed to scramble out of his grip and started running after Xu, but tripped a few times when Nida lunged after her on his belly, tripping her up as he scrambled at her ankles. There was no talking to Nida, not now. She couldn't convince him, and she knew that Xu was the real target. Xu was a few feet ahead of her, and gaining distance. Quistis started pumping her legs to catch up. She had the feeling that the other woman wasn't running away, but was running towards something. It left her with a very sick feeling.

Xu dipped into one of the boardrooms on either side of the hall, and Quistis ran in after her. Xu swung the heavy wood door, and it hit Quistis in the face, sprawling her back into the hallway. She shook out the cobwebs and dashed into the room. Her heart slammed in her chest when she saw Xu hunched over a computer terminal, typing madly. Quistis took three long strides across the room and knocked the monitor on the floor. Cords broke free of their moorings and the screen image sputtered and died.

"Too late," Xu hissed, blood still dribbling down her chin. The ends of her shaggy black hair were drenched in it. She smiled through the red, eyes glittering with malevolence and victory. "You know better than anyone that I always have several back-up plans. We're a lot alike in that way. I guess it's why we were always such good friends."

Quistis backhanded Xu across the face at the mere mention of a friendship that Xu'd pissed all over. "What did you do?" She demanded, grabbing fistfuls of Xu's coat and pulling them nose to nose.

Xu just grinned again, and kneed Quistis in the thigh. She started to spiral away from the other woman's grip, but Quistis punched her a couple of times, shouting "What did you do?" again.

"Just made sure that if I can't have Garden, nobody will have it. Especially not you."

"ANYTHING?" Fujin asked eagerly, leaning over Irvine to look at the computer monitor as he searched through file after file on Balamb Garden's server, trying to find anything that he could pin on Xu. She'd switched a lot of main controls around, so it was taking him precious moments they didn't have to find his way around, even to search for a way to kill the power or something.

"JAMMED," Fujin hissed, pointing at a file that linked up to Balamb's communications capabilities. Xu had blocked all satellite signals into the school, which meant that cell phones were out.

"Oh fuck..." He said under his breath. "Babe, that isn't all that's wrong." Irvine started opening windows, and then opened an external web browser window to do some cross-checking.

"Raine Leonhart?" Fujin echoed, reading as fast as her lone eye would let her as Irvine flew through the data. "Squall's mother?" She cocked her head, perplexed. "But, she's been dead for twenty years how could she...?"

"She didn't." Irvine started following the paper trail after a purchase that had been funnelled through several mediators and shell corporations, trying to find any kind of connection he could exploit. The purchase had been made under Raine Leonheart's name through a dummy company in Winhill. It was purchased under flower fertilizer, but Irvine recognized the company as one that was under the Galbadian army, and they definitely didn't sell manure and plant food. The whole thing led to a bank account in Deling City under a high level firewall.

"Shit," he cursed. He could feel sweat dribbling down the nape of his neck. He knew time was running out. The wristwatch on Fujin's wrist seemed to scream at him now.

Fujin stood up, unable to watch Irvine continue to try and hack the password to get into this account. It was killing her, all this waiting. "This is taking too fucking long."

"I know."

"I have a really bad feeling."

"I know." Irvine slammed his fist on the keyboard in frustration when another hacking attempt failed.

"You aren't going to get through. She'll fucking win. She'll get away with it."

Irvine was now constantly cursing, the swear words coming out louder and faster as the minutes ticked by. Suddenly, he let out a great whoop that almost made Fujin jump out of her skin, and made her instinctively go to the door to see if anyone had heard them. But, the walls around the computer bays in Galbadia Garden were thick and rather soundproof.

"You doubted me? Ha!" Irvine marvelled for a moment as windows popped up revealing the bank accounts activities. It had been the lynchpin, and Operation: Mariposa began to unravel at his fingertips. Buying off Evan Phaighn, the photographs that went to the tabloids, the contracts with Galbadian mercenaries, dated the day of Quistis and Squall's fake mission to catch JB Reigar. The sound files featuring Seifer's torture... it was all there. The self-satisfied smirk slipped from Irvine's face, and his periwinkle eyes filled with complete horror as he looked closer at the trail that had started it all. The purchase under the name Raine Leonhart. Not for fertilizer. Not at all.

"WHAT?" Fujin came over when she saw the look on Irvine's face. "WHAT?" She demanded again when he didn't answer. He seemed frozen. She looked at the purchase manifest. It had been disguised at the Winhill delivery yards as sheep manure, but following the shipment back to its origin in Deling City, it turned out to come from a military storehouse. "NO."

"We have to get in contact with them. We have to warn them."

"JAMMED," Neptune reminded Sol.

"FUCK!" He cursed, sounding eerily like her.

Fujin looked at the amount of sarin shipped to Winhill. "That's enough gas to kill most of the people in Garden." Her heart was now beating hard and painfully. "All the junior cadets would still be in the building, too."

Irvine put a hand to his mouth, brain working wildly. "And, the canisters would probably be near where they're taking shelter. Probably in the underground levels, near some kind of air duct so the sarin could move through the rest of the building." He immediately started pulling up schematics of the building, paying careful attention to air ducts.

"HERE?" She pointed at a possible place. "WARN?"

"We can't fucking call them, remember?" He snapped, losing his composure. "And, Xu wouldn't just release a little at a time. She'd blow those canisters open so people would die within minutes."

"JURGEN..." She trailed off, flipping open her phone. "He was supposed to be the distraction. He might still be outside the building."

"He's just one person," Irvine pointed out, starting to download all the information. He didn't want Xu to start wiping info. If she felt trapped, she'd clear the drives, and then release the deadly nerve gas. "The closest military facility to Balamb is in Timber... I don't know if they could fly in any atropine or pralidoxime in time."

"With that much gas, would any antidotes even matter?" Fujin asked as the phone rang. "COME ON!"

"Fujin?" Jurgen's voice asked after the twelfth ring. She could hear the sounds of battle in the background.

"NERVE GAS," she immediately shouted at him, making sure he heard loud and clear. "PROBABLY IN BASEMENT. SARIN."

"Fuck," he cursed. "Send the blueprint to my phone."

"DONE. CELL PHONE SIGNALS JAMMED INSIDE."

"All right." Jurgen's line went dead, and Fujin slowly folded her phone. "You think I should tell Seifer...?"

"Seifer..." Irvine repeated. "Esthar! I can call Rinoa and Matron. They can teleport instantly to Balamb. They can help get people out, and they'll listen to Sorceresses more than they'd listen to Jurgen." Irvine started touching the screen on his phone to find Rinoa's number in his contacts list.

"Xu probably put the shipment in Raine Leonheart's name so it would look bad on Squall or President Loire."

"I'd bet my balls that's exactly what she was planning, the bitch." Irvine waited as Rinoa's phone rang, but his attention was diverted when the computer terminal beeped. He leaned forward, and felt like he was going to puke.

"Did that just come from Balamb?" Fujin asked, even though she already knew the answer. But, she was really, really hoping that the horrible feeling in her stomach was wrong.

"Yes, my dear." Their eyes were glued to the countdown that had just been started on a Balamb Garden terminal, starting at fifteen minutes and rapidly counting down.

"What is the name of Ultros the octopus's sidekick?" Raijin asked, reading a question from the card he was holding. He was playing a children's trivia game with some of the orphanage kids, though his heart wasn't in it. He'd finally thought it was time to call Tia in Dollet. It had been long enough, and she hadn't exactly been glad to hear from him. He couldn't blame her for being furious about the lack of communication. He didn't hold it against her, and it just made him feel like shit that he'd shut his girlfriend out like that.

It made him feel even worse because it wasn't Tia that he'd dreamed about the night before. Even as he'd been telling her how much he cared about her and was sorry that he didn't call, he'd thought of his dream. Of Rinoa. He'd woken up in the middle of the night drenched in sweat with a rock-hard erection, the image of her still burned in his mind even during the daylight hours. She'd been riding him, beautiful and naked, her skin illuminated with magic. Her translucent Sorceress wings spread from her back as she arched and gasped with pleasure

"Raijin...?"

"Huh?" He snapped out of his guilty daydream and looked at the six expectant faces with their large eyes. "Oh, sorry guys!"

"It's Mr. Chupon!" One boy exclaimed very loudly and quickly.

"But, I said it first!" Another kid wailed. "You stolded my answer! I'm telling Matron!"

"Awww, come on guys!" Raijin exclaimed as they started shoving each other. "It's only a game. You don't need to get mad, ya know?"

The boys glowered at each other, but sat back down. All of Edea's children loved Raijin, and would listen to whatever he said. He looked beyond the boys and thought that he was in his dream again. There was Rinoa, walking towards him and looking pretty like usual. She was wearing a loose white blouse and skirt that looked rather angelic, and still sexy with some carefully placed see-through cut-outs on the shirt. Her hair was tied back and she had a white orchid behind her ear.

"Sowcewess Winoa!" One of the girls exclaimed in awe, clasping her hands and looking up at Rinoa like she was a princess.

"Hi, girls! Is it okay if I play, too?"

"Pweeeeaaasseee, Waijin?" A girl pleaded, giving a winning smile with one missing front tooth.

"Of course, ya know?" He patted the floor beside him, hoping that he wasn't blushing. "Sit down, Winoa."

She grinned, doing enough blushing for both of them. "I just was going kinda stir-crazy."

"It'll be cool," Raijin said quietly. He didn't want the kids to know anything might be wrong. The kids got all rowdy for a few moments, some of them arguing that they should try to start playing a new game now that Rinoa was here. With the distraction, Rinoa leaned into Raijin and said very quietly "Seifer's gone. He teleported to Balamb."

Raijin didn't let his worry and anger show. Actually, he wasn't surprise. He'd expected Seifer to do something foolish and noble like that, but he could still be furious about his best friend's recklessness.

"It must be going badly..."

"Don't worry." He squeezed her shoulder, and briefly felt sweat covering his entire body again, like when he'd woken up after that dream. She smelled like sugar and lemons today, not like sweat and sex as he'd dreamed. "They're all tough, ya know?"

The kids were sort of settled down again, looking at Raijin and Rinoa expectantly. "Okay!" She exclaimed. "Why don't me and Raijin read the questions to you guys?" She picked up a card. "Pick a colour!"

"BLUE!" The team of two girls exclaimed, then started giggling because they said it at the same time. "Jinx!" One shouted just before the other.

"Hmmm... blue, huh? What are the colours in a rainbow?"

"BLUE!" They said again, laughing some more. "Red... yellow... green..." Their answer petered off until it just became a contest between all the kids to see if they could say the same colours at the same time. Raijin and Rinoa watched them, happy for the pleasant distraction. Unconsciously, her hand slid across the brightly coloured rug and found Raijin's much larger one. She put her hand on top of his and gave it a squeeze. It had been a long time since she'd held a man's hand. Squall wasn't much for that, at least not with her. She wouldn't be surprised if he was okay with Seifer doing it. Raijin's hand was warm under hers and felt so strong.

Raijin watched the children and felt the pleasant warmth of Rinoa's hand over his own. It felt so nice. He flipped his hand and squeezed hers, not even thinking about it. Slowly, it started to dawn on him what he was doing, and his head slowly turned to Rinoa. She was smiling distantly and focusing on the children, but she felt Raijin's gaze on the side of her face, and then it also hit her that they'd been holding hands like it was something that they did all the time and was natural. Like he didn't have a girlfriend in Dollet.

"Sorry..." She mumbled, pulling her hand away and looking down in her lap. Her cheeks were on fire, and her hands shook. He didn't say anything, and the amount of time he was staying silent was getting longer. She could still feel him looking at her, and couldn't help but look back up to meet his eyes. He was staring at her intently, and it was in a way that said he wasn't sorry about it at all. She'd been harbouring a little crush on Raijin, but hadn't wanted to entertain the thought that he might be feeling those same sort of things, too.

The moment was broken when Rinoa's phone started to ring incessantly from her purse. At first she didn't even realize it was her phone, since she'd just recently changed the ringtone from _Eyes On Me_ to _Grey Skies_, a lesser known song of her mother's. _Eyes On Me_ just had too many bad memories of Squall for her right now. "I guess phones really do ruin potentially romantic moments outside soap operas." She dug around in her purse, kind of grinning at her own boldness. When she finally found her phone, the grin hardened around the edges when she saw it was Irvine.

Raijin stared at Rinoa's face, whole body still heated with the potential in that small touch, and that spark of desire grew cold as he watched her. She only said "Hello?" and then listened to Irvine say whatever he was saying. Her face was getting paler and paler, all blush gone, and her eyes looked horrified. Her lips parted, and she stared back at Raijin with tears forming in her brown eyes.

"Uh huh..." She finally said. "I'll be right there. You're calling Matron? Okay..." She pressed the cancel button and stared at Raijin again, a tear falling down her cheek.

"What...?" He breathed out, his mind jumping to the worst. Seifer was dead. Quistis or Squall were dead. It's not like he and Squall were best buddies, but he didn't want him to die, and he meant so much to Seifer.

"We have to go to Garden."

"We?"

Rinoa stood and rushed over to one of Edea's nannies, who was darning some socks in the corner, sitting beside a couple of the older kids, who were watching TV. "We have to go. Watch the rest of the kids, okay?"

"Okay..." She could see the dismay on Rinoa's face, and smartly didn't ask about it.

"Come on." She grabbed Raijin's wrist and started dragging him out of the room. The kids made disappointed noises, and he waved as he was pulled out by this unstoppable force in the form of a small woman.

"Okay, what's going on, ya know?" He put his hands firmly on her shoulders and searched her face, hoping that the answer would be written there. All he could see was fear.

"We have to go to Garden. Now!" She lowered her voice to just above a whisper. "It was Irvine. There's a timer to a bunch of canisters of sarin gas somewhere in the underground sections."

Raijin's reddish complexion went white. "Sarin...? Oh, Hyne." His eyes closed. "How long?"

"Fifteen minutes," she answered as she was already charging up her magic for teleportation. "Irvine's going to call Matron and give her more info. She'll tell Laguna, and then teleport after us."

"Let's go." He put an arm around her shoulders, knowing that magic worked better with physical contact. He could see Rinoa's brow knitted in concentration, and the beads of sweat appearing on her temples. He could feel something like insect bites all over his skin, then entering him. The little itchy pinpricks turned into a big ball of warmth that was getting hotter and hotter, and then his surroundings disappeared in a smear of light.

Seifer was now panting heavily as Bahamut still maintained both a physical and magical wall between the rest of Garden and their little hallway. Keeping the connection with Bahamut, and Bahamut's strength up, was getting harder. Especially after teleporting so far. But, he couldn't let the dragon falter. He couldn't let anyone in here because he and Squall weren't in any shape to fend off an attack. He could feel his pain dulling around the edges because of Serino's magic, but even that was starting to lose its effectiveness. In all the blind whiteness, he was seeing intermitted smears of red. He was sure that was a bad sign. Squall was stroking his arms and not saying anything. It was all that he could really do.

Squall stood up when he felt the air change, and he pulled out his gunblade as magic crackled in the hallway like lightning. He pulled out Lionheart and raised it as high as he could, pain like fire across his torso. He didn't feel any relief when the magic turned out to be Rinoa teleporting in, Raijin in tow.

"Sweet Hyne!" Rinoa exclaimed, looking at Squall in horror. "What happened to you?"

"Seifer!" Raijin crouched beside his friend. "You are so insane, ya know? I should punch your lights out."

"Raijin...?"

"There's trouble!" Rinoa exclaimed, looking past Squall to Zell, who was still frozen behind Serino's barrier. But, he'd made no movement to leave. He was standing there, frozen and locked in his own mind, replaying the events of the past months. Replaying every conversation he'd had with Xu, every moment causing bile to rise in him. "There's a bunch of sarin gas set to go off in about fifteen minutes."

"Sarin?" Seifer exclaimed, hands clawing at the wall to pull himself up. He hissed in pain when weight came down on his leg. "How do you know?"

"Irvine. Cell phone calls are being jammed. He called Jurgen who's already moving into the basement to find it. We need to get everyone out. He's trying to stop the timer, but I don't know if he can. He also told Matron, and she's coming after she tells Laguna."

"Shit," Seifer cursed. "Okay, I can use Bahamut to get some people out. If it's in the basement, that means that it will be near the junior cadets. Come on."

"Whoa!" Squall exclaimed, body reacting violently to the big breath he had to take to talk that loudly. "You're not going anywhere." His broken jaw muffled his words.

"I have to help."

"You're blind and a cripple!" Squall shot back furiously. It came out very cruelly, and Squall knew it. But, he'd say anything to keep Seifer from putting himself at even greater risk.

Seifer's face became very closed and angry. "I'm not just going to do nothing."

"You've done enough!" Raijin exclaimed, in complete agreement with Squall. A rare occurrence. "I'll go down to the basement and find Jurgen. I'll help get the kids out."

"Me too," Rinoa chimed. "I can teleport and do it fast. I can also try to find Quistis."

"I'll help, too..." Zell offered, his voice tiny.

Squall looked over his shoulder and sneered at his former friend, showing in one look the contempt he felt for Zell's offer of help. Seifer's face was blank, and he looked in the direction of Zell's voice. Zell actually would have preferred an angry, taunting Seifer. The Seifer that always acted like a raging asshole to him. Not this cold blankness with horribly blind eyes.

"Come on, then!" Raijin waved his arm for Zell to follow.

"I'll let the SeeD know. They'll listen to me." Rinoa teleported away, leaving behind translucent white feathers that disappeared when they touched solid surfaces.

"I..." Zell began to say when he passed Seifer. But, any sort of apology felt hollow and weak when he looked up into Seifer's blind eyes and statuesque expression. He said no more, and shuffled after Raijin.

"Come on," Squall muttered through a closed mouth, feeling like a bad ventriloquist. He touched Seifer's elbow, but his lover jerked away angrily. It cut Squall like a knife. "I'm sorry. Didn't mean it."

"Yeah you did."

"Okay. Just don't want you hurt anymore." Seifer was starting to blur in front of him, and didn't know if the tears were from physical pain, or the pain of having Seifer angry at him. He grabbed Seifer's elbow again, and Seifer briefly dug his feet in like a mule, but then finally relented and let Squall lead him out like an invalid. He could feel the magical assault against Bahamut lessening. Rinoa must have gotten word around Garden about the danger.

As Squall led Seifer to the main gates and out to safety, he saw people still looking at them warily. With fear. Though he was hurt and not at his best, people still gave Squall a fearful, respectful birth. Seifer could smell fresh seaside air, and heard commotion as word spread about the sarin gas. He kept his mental connection to Bahamut strong, urging the dragon to help get people out. He could feel himself being gently pushed down onto some cold stone surface. His leg was throbbing something awful.

Squall looked at Seifer's profile, and felt sick. "Sorry," Squall whispered through clenched teeth. He put his chin on Seifer's shoulder, checking his mental connection with Shiva. But, she was still too hurt to be summoned. Serino's protective barrier around them was stronger now that the moogle was outside. Seifer felt Serino's weight come down on his shoulder.

"It's fine," Seifer said back, but he didn't sound like he meant it.

Squall could only frown and feel miserable. Having Seifer mad at him like this was a knife in his heart more painful than any ache in his ribs. Seifer didn't seem like he wanted to talk anymore. He had his blind eyes closed and they were moving under his lids. He was probably communicating with Bahamut. Squall could only watch Garden, wondering if he was going to see people coming out. Wondering if Quisty would ever come out.

"Someone's coming," Squall informed, forgetting to keep his mouth closed in his excitement. The jaw motion wrenched a low scream from him. Seifer's hand involuntarily squeezed his at the sound of his pain, and he knew the other man's anger wouldn't last forever.

"Stop talking, kupo!" Serino exclaimed. "It's the Sorceress, kupo!"

Squall saw Rinoa ushering some SeeD and Garden staff and students outside. They all looked confused and worried, but not all out panicking. She must not have told them the whole truth. It would just cause a stampede. He admired her for her quick thinking. She met Squall's eyes and nodded before teleporting again.

"Rinoa just brought out some people," Squall informed his blind lover. "She just went back in. Some of the SeeD are creating a perimeter to keep people away." He said this all through clenched teeth while Serino made angry, almost motherly, noises of protest.

"Raijin?"

"No."

"Jurgen is with him, kupo. He'll be okay."

"What have you done?" Quistis shouted at Xu, quickly dodging one of Nida's furious knife attacks. She kicked him hard out of the way. He flew backwards, smashing into a side table. He wasn't the proud fighter he once was, and was now a pathetic wretch. His attacks weren't skilled, but they were full of pure, powerful desperation. She elbowed him in the face, and heard something crack. It could have been his nose, but it sounded more like a tooth. She didn't want to hurt Nida, but he didn't have that same hesitation. She rotated her shoulder as fast and as strongly as she could, and elbowed Nida again in the face. His dark, glassy eyes rolled into the back of his head, and he fell to the ground like an old sack.

"I guess I can't lie to you," Xu admitted. The remorse in Xu's voice did sound real, but Quistis couldn't let herself ever believe anything about this woman ever again.

"You've done nothing but lie."

Xu winked darkly and she quickly crouched down. Quistis only had the barest second to react when she saw the glint of silver coming from out of Xu's boot. The throwing knife was embedded in her shoulder before she even knew it. Quistis cracked her whip, slow because of the knife buried there. Xu dodged the poisonous barb on the end of the weapon. The second time, as Xu was running for the door of the boardroom, Quistis aimed lower and she tripped Xu's feet out from under her. She groaned as she felt the knife twisting in her muscles. Xu went sprawling and landed in an ungraceful heap on the floor.

Quistis leapt on top of her former friend and started punching her into submission. Xu's hands clawed up and grabbed the hilt of the dagger, and started twisting. Quistis groaned, eyes rolling up in her head from the pain when Xu started pulling it upwards. The blade inside her started to tear through her shoulder muscles. Quistis couldn't see anything through the blurriness of tears and agony, and moved purely on instinct. She got her whip coiled around her hands, and then went for Xu's throat. The Malboro tentacles burned Xu's neck as Quistis pressed the whip down, and then quickly coiled it. She started choking her once best friend, Xu bucking under her like a wild horse. She kneed, elbowed and punched Xu whenever she could, trying to subdue her tormentor, her former best friend.

Xu's hands kept trying to reach up for the dagger, and for her own throat, but Quistis started shifting herself on Xu's body, trying to pin her elbows down with her knees. She was sore and tired and it was hard to strangle somebody to death, but Quistis was finally able to get the upper hand and got Xu's arms flattened to the ground. She kept pulling up on Save The Queen as hard as she could. She could hear it creaking over the sound of Xu's hoarse gasps for air. Xu's dark eyes were bulging and looking up at Quistis, full of fear and pleading for mercy. Quistis stared into those eyes for a long time, knowing that she could kill Xu right here and now. That if she did, she'd be perfectly justified. That Xu completely ruined her life while claiming to be her friend.

But, even as she thought all those things, she loosened her grip on the whip. She thought of the Xu she'd known back before all this, and Hyne help her, she loosened her grip. Her mind kept screaming at her to finish Xu off. She was a viper that would maintain all he venom, and she wouldn't feel remorse. She hadn't shown Quistis any mercy before, and wouldn't just because Quistis now showed it to her. Her brain begged her to kill Xu, cursing her heart as weak for hesitating.

Xu's face, looking up at her with bulging eyes and reddening skin, suddenly got blurry. An intense pain started small at the base of her skull, then exploded like a blast wave around her head on both sides until it converged behind her eyes. The world went white, then red, then black, and she was sliding off Xu, her whip coiling on the ground like a dead snake. In the blur, she saw Nida standing over her with what looked like a chair leg in his hands. Quistis groaned, feeling wet stickiness trickling down the nape of her neck, and to her horror, saw Xu rising to her feet and stumbling out the door before the blackness she struggled against grew too strong.

Xu rubbed her neck and started a shaky jog towards the service elevator. She checked her watch, synchronized to the sarin counter on the computer. "Nida!" She called. "Hurry!" The elevator came into view. So close to freedom! "Nida!" She called desperately. Nida would kill Quistis, and Xu would have him all to herself. She would win. Finally, she would prevail over Garden's golden-haired goddess. "Hurry, darling!" She called again.

But fate intervened in the form of green mist slowly seeping into the hallway, blocking her from the elevator bay. It grew thicker, the poisonous stink making her eyes water. The mist then formed the shape of a tall, impossibly thin black man wearing a blacker than night suit and top hat, eyes glowing an evil, malevolent green under the brim. Xu whirled around, hand over her mouth to block out the fumes, and through the painful tears caused by the gas, she saw a small figure shimmying out of an air duct, falling out into the hallway with grace.

Selphie's small body shook with outrage and horror as she looked at Xu. She still hadn't known how she'd react when seeing her, after her fateful discoveries in Fisherman's Horizon. Now, looking into her eyes, all she wanted to do was throw up. She hated Xu. She hated herself.

"You better let me go, Selphie," Xu said from behind her hand. She could taste Doomtrain's poison in the back of her throat. "Or I'll override the timer on half a dozen canisters of sarin gas. You want that many lives on you?"

Selphie balked. The gas around Doomtrain receded with Selphie's hesitation. This could be a bluff...

Before Selphie could make a decision, a gunshot rang out in the tense silence between the two women. Doomtrain's gas immediately grew thicker, and Xu screamed, falling to the carpet. Through the green mist, Selphie saw a black clad man crouched down with a rifle trained right on her heart. His face was covered by a full gas mask, and the shining beauty of Siren hovered behind him. Doomtrain hissed, and the hallway filled with the beautiful, mind-addling notes of Siren's deadly voice.

Xu cried out in pain, holding her kneecap, which was a mess of blood splatter, exposed tendons and exploded bone. "Where's Quistis?" The man demanded over Xu's screams, his deep voice laced with an Estharian accent.

"I..." Selphie trailed off, Siren's music seeping into her skin. A hellish screech from Doomtrain brought her back to her senses. "I don't know."

"Get the hell out of here," the man said, not taking off his mask. "There's a cache of sarin gas going off in six minutes."

"Oh Hyne..." Xu hadn't been lying. "Did Sir Laguna send forces?" She asked, her heart leaping. She had no right to call him that after the way she'd turned her back on his son.

"It's in the underground levels. Use your GF to get as many students out as possible." He raised the rifle away from her heart, but Siren still eyed Doomtrain wrathfully. "GO!" He shouted when she just stood there in shock.

"What about Xu?" She asked. "I can use Doomtrain to contain her. She'd find a way to escape, even with a blown-out kneecap."

"Fine. Just do it fast." Jurgen started jogging up the hall and pointing his rifle into each room, searching desperately for Quistis. Siren stayed at his back, not trusting Doomtrain or Selphie for a second.

"Quistis!" Jurgen called, hoping she'd answer back. So many seconds ticking down... "Quistis!"

From in the boardroom, she heard someone calling her name. "Nida..." She moaned desperately, slipping in and out of unconsciousness. Nida straddled her, fingers wrapped around her throat. He wept as he tried to kill her, but his hands were so weak that it was slow going. "Nida..." His face swam to the surface of her mind, his gaunt cheeks and manic, heroin-fuelled eyes.

"Quistis!" Jurgen called, cursing when he saw Nida strangling her. He crossed the room in two quick steps and clubbed Nida across the face with the rifle's stock.

"Nida..." Quistis moaned again, head lolling back and forth as she fought with everything she had to stay conscious. She rasped and coughed for air. She could hear a voice calling her name. It brought tears to her eyes, the deep, hoarse utterance of her name from Jurgen's lips.

Jurgen heard the way she said this man's name. The feeling behind it, even half conscious. He cupped the back of her head and felt the blood. Pulsing healing magic into her and pushing some smelling salts under her nose caused her to gasp and sit up, eyes wide and wild.

"You have to get out of here," Jurgen told her, ripping off the gas mask.

"Jurgen...?" She looked at him, still confused. "Where's Xu?"

"Taken care of. Look..."

"The gas!" Quistis struggled to a sitting position. "We have to help everyone still inside!" She tried to stand, but wobbled and threw up from the pain and vertigo. It got half on her, half on Jurgen.

"I know. We're working on getting everyone out." He pressed the gas mask into her hands. "Siren will get you out. You fucking run, okay? And don't stop. Squall and Seifer are already outside."

"But..." She looked into Jurgen's quicksilver eyes, then down to Nida, laying unconscious at Jurgen's feet with blood seeping from his broken nose.

"Just go, goddammit!" He urged her, shoving her towards the door. "There's not much time!" He immediately went over to the computer terminal in the room, shaking his head at Quistis when she hesitated.

"You better come back," she murmured, putting the gas mask over her face and making a mad break for the stairs. She just had to trust that Jurgen, and Nida, would be okay.

Jurgen started tapping madly on the keyboard. When he and Raijin, along with a SeeD with a tribal tattoo on his face, had examined the bomb, they knew that they wouldn't be able to diffuse it. Messing with it at all would cause it to go off early. Jurgen's last hope was to try and stop the countdown. Right now, his goal was to try his best, but he knew that there would be lives lost today. Things were just a mass of confusion, and even Sorceress Rinoa couldn't teleport fast enough to warn everyone, find all the little pockets of students, and gain trust fast enough among a population that saw them all as enemies.

When the timer dipped to 1:50, Jurgen knew he had to try and get out. With this unconscious man, things would go a lot slower. Jurgen picked up this man and started to shuffle into the hallway. Nida, that's what she'd called him. At least he was extremely light. He looked like he'd either been starved or was on drugs.

Quistis obviously cared about him. Was he a boyfriend? They hadn't exactly discussed if she had someone back here in Balamb Town. Jurgen had the strong urge to just leave him here to die in the sarin gas, but his morals outweighed his jealousy as he dragged Nida towards the stairs. His watch started beeping incessantly as the timer neared one minute. He got to the second floor, and found the stairs leading down to the main atrium were blocked off by smouldering rubble. Some sort of magical attack had caved in part of the ceiling, and left Jurgen's path blocked, and his eyes stinging from the smoke.

Jurgen started to search for another way out, his watch beeping incessantly now. Less than thirty seconds. Nida felt so heavy as he tried to find another fire exit. Something. Anything. He tried not to look at his watch as it counted down the last ten seconds. When the countdown ended, Jurgen immediately covered Nida's face with his jacket, and heard hissing through the air ducts. He started running, muscles screaming in pain because of Nida's dead weight. The fire exit doors were locked electronically, and he'd just run out of options for escape.

Jurgen had his eyes slammed shut, and only opened them briefly to try and find his way to some secret exit. The halls started to fill with gas, and he held his breath for as long as possible, only bringing in minor amounts of burning air when he felt like he was about to pass out. He wound up in a classroom where chairs and desks had been toppled over. It looked very sad and pathetic, and it was most definitely a dead end. Jurgen's body started to feel the effects of the gas, and he completely moved on instinct. Running as fast as he could while carrying an unconscious human being, he dashed towards the plate glass windows of the classroom and smashed right through the glass, falling to the ground two stories below.

"Seifer! Squall!" Quistis cried, ripping off the gas mask as she ran out onto the open grasslands around Garden, Siren and Diablos trailing behind her. His bats kept very close to her, as if apologizing for not coming to her rescue, even though she hadn't called for him. Her shoulder and head blazed in agony. People milled about, watching Garden in horror. Watches beeped as Xu's timer expired, and the school filled with nerve gas. "Seifer!" She screamed again. "Squall!"

"Here!" Raijin's booming voice called. She saw him, standing so much taller than most of the SeeD or students, waving his arms frantically to her.

Quistis ran over and looked at Squall and Seifer in shock. Both looked so injured. Squall's face was bruised and his jaw looked really swollen.

"We couldn't stop it..." Raijin murmured. Tears stained his cheeks, and he looked so defeated and lost. "We couldn't..."

Rinoa suddenly appeared, teleporting from elsewhere. Her clothes were soaked in sweat, making the white garments nearly see-through. Her hair hung lank and stuck to her forehead and cheeks. Her wings hung on her back, not disappearing because of all the magic that thrummed through her body. She collapsed on the grass beside Seifer. "We we tried to get them all out" She panted.

"Where's Jurgen, ya know?" Raijin asked, his voice wobbling.

Quistis's face crumpled. "He stayed behind to get Nida out."

"Nida?" Squall exclaimed angrily. He then moaned in pain because of his jaw.

"Why?" Seifer asked tiredly, his eyes trying to find the source of Quistis's voice.

"Because of me." She flopped down on the grass, crawling like a child over to Seifer so she could put her head against his shoulder.

"What about Xu?" Rinoa asked. She panted loudly to catch her breath, giving her magic time to recharge before she started teleporting around again to check on Garden's refugees.

"Selphie got her." Quistis felt like she was going to throw up from the knock on the head. Seifer's arm gingerly draped over her shoulders.

"Selphie?" Raijin asked, trying to control his tears. Rinoa gave him a quick, comforting hug before vanishing again. Downy white feathers littered the ground where she'd been standing. "You sure you can trust her, ya know?"

Quistis didn't answer. She had to swallow back vomit as she rubbed her cheek against Seifer's shoulder. He smelled like smoke and blood and pain. She should have killed Xu when she had the chance. She should have stopped Jurgen from giving her the gas mask, and she should have made him come with her. She thought of Nida's drug-fuelled eyes and his thin, maniacally strong arms. Jurgen just possibly gave his life to try and save a man that Quistis knew she had no reason to care for, but still did. And now they both might be dead.

The air suddenly crackled with magic, and Edea appeared near them. Her eyes scanned the crowds, and she rushed forward when she found Squall.

"Mrs. Kramer! I'm so sorry, ya know?" Raijin practically kneeled before her, crying in earnest. "We tried to get everyone out." He thought of the faces that had gotten left behind, surely dead now. How many more hadn't they known about?

"Shhh..." Edea soothed. "I know," she whispered to him. "Squall," she said more loudly. "Your father's on the way. They're bringing medical equipment on Ragnarok. Holy Hyne, Squall... what happened to you?" She crouched in front of him and gingerly touched his swollen jaw.

He winced away from the touch and squeezed Seifer's hand, though the other man didn't squeeze it back. He still seemed angry.

"Tiernan's coming, too. So he'll check on you." She rose to her feet and looked at the place that she and Cid had built together, surrounded by horrified students. A lot of them shot looks to Seifer, Squall and Quistis - criminals that they'd been hunting relentlessly, now sitting among them. Garden had been such a beautiful dream, and now it perched on the verge of collapse. Would Garden be able to rise above this?

Edea's blood ran cold when she saw Doomtrain, in his locomotive form, wrapped in a circle like a snake, holding Xu within the circle made by his body. The train spewed gas to keep her subdued. Selphie watched, crouched on the ground, holding her knees. When Selphie sensed Edea's strong magical presence, she rose to her full, diminutive height.

"Matron..." She trailed off when Edea walked towards Xu. She had to look into the eyes of the woman who murdered her husband. Through the gaps between Doomtrain's cars, she saw her. How many times had she spoken pleasantly to Xu when making visits to Cid's office? She could remember Xu and Quistis laughing together, thick as thieves. She remembered seeing potential in Xu for leadership. And now she sat in her makeshift prison, staring at nothing. As if she hadn't destroyed so many lives with her lies. As if she hadn't just killed the people she'd wanted to rule like a Queen. Edea lowered herself to the grass, kneeling in it. Xu didn't seem to see her, but she kept looking. As if staring at Xu could give her the answers she sought.

It took several hours for Laguna to arrive from Esthar, even in an airship as fast as Ragnarok. Trying to do a headcount took even longer than that. Tiernan brought a whole team of doctors to help any injured Garden students and SeeD. The inns in Balamb Town became makeshift hospitals after the town's small hospital filled beyond its capacity.

Squall and Seifer wound up in Balamb Town's hospital with Quistis. Her concussion was minor, and her earlier stitches from the knife wound held intact even though they didn't feel like it, and she'd gotten her shoulder stitched up. She sat by the window, staring into the darkness. The moon reflected off the water, and the buoys rang with the rhythmic heaving of the waves. So far, there wasn't any word about Jurgen. He could have been in the headcount, but it would take the makeshift SeeD team, working with the Estharian forces, well into the night to sort out. All she could do was wait, and hate herself for not having the stomach to kill Xu when she had the chance. And, she could only wonder if Jurgen and Nida were still alive. And if they both were, what then? Jurgen had gone to save Nida because he'd heard the way Quistis said his name. Would that affect things between them? Had Nida been drugged this whole time? Maybe he'd really been the one that sent the email to Irvine that started Xu's downfall.

She looked over her shoulder to where Seifer and Squall slept, Serino curled up at the small of Squall's back like a housecat. They'd pushed the hospital beds together so the three of them could all sleep near each other. Squall was fast asleep, under the influence of strong painkillers. He was scheduled for surgery in the morning to put metal in his ribs to keep them together during healing. He'd already had his jaw wired shut. Tiernan had taken them, and Laguna, aside to warn them about the addictive qualities of the painkillers, and to ask them to keep a beady eye on Squall, especially with his track record of addiction.

Seifer's leg had been repined by one of Balamb's doctors, and he'd been given a new cast. He'd also been given painkillers, but because of his allergic reaction, she knew he still felt the pain, just like he had since Fisherman's Horizon. She also saw that he wasn't sleeping.

"Seifer...?" She whispered, even though the drugs had knocked Squall out cold.

"Hmm?" He asked in the darkness.

She got up and shuffled over to the bed, slowly stretching her sore body out beside him. "I could have killed her, you know? But I didn't. I couldn't."

He put an arm around her.

"She deserved it. Look what she did to Garden. Look what she did to us!" She took in a shaking breath. "But I couldn't."

"It doesn't make you weak. It means you rose above her. If you'd killed her, you would have become the murderer that she'd told everyone you were."

"Would you have killed Astor if you had the chance?"

Seifer didn't answer. The long silence went on, and he became lost in thought. Quistis didn't try to prod an answer from him.

"Are you still in love with Nida?" He asked after a long time.

"I... Hyne, I don't fucking know," she admitted. "I don't think I'm in love with Jurgen, either. But if I heard one of them, or both of them, were dead..."

"If I had a choice, I'd pick Jurgen."

"For me, or yourself?"

He grinned, but it was tight and lacking any real humour. "At least Jurgen never shot me."

"Maybe he didn't mean to do it. Maybe he had to stay undercover."

"Maybe."

"What now?"

"I dunno," Seifer replied. "Wait for Xu's trial, I guess. It'll take a long time, and will probably hang over our heads for months. This kind of thing always does."

"They'll probably hold it in Fisherman's Horizon," she guessed, remembering her old SeeD rulebooks. FH was considering neutral ground, and any Garden soldier arrested for criminal offences had their trial there to avoid partiality on the prosecuting side. "There's enough evidence for the death penalty. But now they'll have to figure out where they go from here. I mean... how can Garden pick up the pieces? How do _we_ pick up the pieces?"

"Slowly." Seifer instinctively felt around for the new cast around his leg. "I have to learn to live with being a blind cripple." Squall's comments to him in the heat of the moment stung Seifer deeply. Hope was that one thing that he'd been able to hold onto while Astor tortured him, and he'd held onto it while they'd been travelling through the Centra mountains. He'd even held onto it when Tiernan brought him back from the dead, but Squall's words made his grip on precious hope weaken. There may never be a cornea donation, and even if there were, maybe it wouldn't completely fix his sight. Maybe the damage was deeper than even Tiernan knew. Maybe his leg would never heal again, and he'd never really be able to walk properly. He'd never be able to go out and chase after tonberrys in rocky Centra. He'd never be able to go for a run along the Balamb coastline. He'd never be able to walk across a room without pain. He knew Squall had said it just to keep him from further danger, and didn't meant to hurt him, but it did. It hurt because it rang so true.

"You think that?" Quistis asked, reaching up to touch the scarred side of his face. The livid red lines that connected the skin grafting were already lessening. Another bout of cosmetic surface surgery would probably mostly get rid of them. "I think that you're always been slippery, and weaseled your way out of anything. You never got in real trouble at Garden, no matter how much bad shit you did." She grinned, unable to count how many times she'd had to yell at him over the years for breaking the rules. "And you always knew that you'd come out on top. What makes you think this time will be any different?"

"A leg fucking up beyond repair is a lot different than sneaking out so I could do some underage drinking and make out with a mechanic's assistant."

"Hey," she said sternly. "Leave the 'poor me' second guessing to me and Squall, okay? Seifer Almasy always comes out on top. He's the best, and he knows it. Remember that. Okay?"

"Okay," he relented, smiling at her bossiness.

"So wait... you don't mean that mechanic's assistant from the gateway garage, do you? The one right near the highway?"

"Maybe."

"You made out with him?"

"More than once."

"Oh man. Why didn't I ever hear about this?"

"Because you were an Instructor and I wasn't stupid enough to admit to something that could get me in trouble?"

Quistis grinned into his shoulder. He sounded like the old Seifer Almasy there. She knew that brash, troublemaking kid didn't quite exist anymore, but he was still in there somewhere, mingling with a calmer, older Seifer that had been made out of great trial and misery, only outweighed by the great love that also made him into what he was now.

Quistis jerked when she felt someone shaking her. She must have fallen asleep at some point. She still lay beside Seifer on the pushed-together hospital beds, and looked up to see Raijin looking down at her.

"What happened?" She asked immediately, sensing something.

"They found Jurgen and Nida."

She immediately disentangled herself from Seifer and rushed out of the bed. "And...?"

"They're both alive," Raijin whispered, waiting for her to put on some hospital issued slippers. "Both unconscious." His normally warm dark eyes looked haunted.

"What happened?" She asked, heart hammering in her chest, following Raijin out into the deathly silent hall.

"Looks like they jumped out of a classroom window, ya know?"

Quistis's legs went numb. "How bad is he hurt?" She didn't even know who she meant.

"Nida's got some bruises, but Jurgen took most of the impact of the fall. He must have shielded Nida with his body. Nida's addicted to heroin, so they put him in the detox wing. Jurgen's down here." He took her hand and started leading her towards his room. "Broken collarbone and arm, a lot of cuts from the broken glass, concussion and some brain swelling, ya know? If the swelling doesn't go down, he could be in trouble, ya know?"

The stopped in front of the viewing window to Jurgen's room, and she saw him through the gaps between the mini-blinds, laying all bandaged up and hooked up to an IV. He normally seemed so indestructible to her, like Seifer. Now he looked so frail and human, laying there in his hospital bed. Laying there because of her. _For_ her.

"We both tried to stop it. Zell too, ya know? But..."

"You all did what you had to," Quistis said quietly. "You saved a lot of lives."

"What about the ones I didn't save? Seventy people died. A few of them were only kids." His voice shook, and she heard him start to quietly weep.

She reached out to find Raijin's large hand, not taking her eyes off Jurgen. Her own hand felt dwarfed in his grip. "Think about the ones you _did_ save."

He snuffled and wiped his cheeks. "How can I forget them?"

"You don't," she answered, her own tears starting to come. "You live for them."

"They didn't find Luchia in the headcount, ya know?" He said bitterly, lowering himself into one of those uncomfortable plastic hospital chairs that he was getting pretty sick of sitting in.

"Rats know when to abandon ship."

"But where is she, ya know?"

"I don't know." And truthfully, Quistis didn't care. She knew Luchia wouldn't come hunting her. Xu's cause wasn't her own. It was just a job.

"Xu's locked up in the town jail with Doomtrain guarding her, ya know? She won't be getting out."

She trusted Selphie to keep Xu contained, but it didn't mean that she trusted the other girl to ever be her friend again. She knew Squall would say the bond was severed forever, but Quistis wasn't quite ready to burn all bridges yet. It still didn't mean that she was ready to forgive, either. Just like she wasn't completely ready to forgive Rinoa either, even after the Sorceress had proved her desire to help and mend their friendship time and time again.

Quistis lowered herself into one of the chairs, looking at her hands. The nursing staff were so harassed and understaffed that nobody came to shoo her away because it was after visiting hours. Raijin sat beside her for a while, both of them lost in their own heads.

"You should try to sleep," she said after what could have been ten minutes, or what could have been ten hours.

"I don't know if I'll be able to."

"You should still try," she said in her best Instructor voice, though she sounded dead and worn out. "Hey..." She called when he stood up and started walking towards the elevators. He was staying at one of Balamb's inns since he didn't need further medical treatment. "Can you... Umm, I guess tell Rinoa thanks, okay?"

He nodded. Was that Quistis's way of saying she knew about the way things were progressing between him and Rinoa? He came back to her and kissed the top of her head before leaving. Balamb's evenings were warm and the air smelled fresh and salty. Raijin looked up to the sky. The starts glittered clearly once he got away from the hospital. The streets were empty at this time of night.

When he got back to his hotel room, he was surprised to find Rinoa sitting outside his door in the hallway. Her head lolled on her shoulder and she jerked awake when she heard his footsteps on the carpet.

"What are you doing out here?" He asked.

She slowly struggled to her feet, shaking away her sleepiness with a toss of her head. Her hair still hung sweaty and limp, and her white blouse and peasant skirt were rumpled. "How are they?"

"Quisty's okay. They found Jurgen and Nida, both alive. They're both kinda fucked up, ya know? Seifer got his leg repined, and Squall's gotta have surgery on his ribs, and he got his jaw wired shut, ya know?"

"The one person who probably won't miss talking," she said. The joke just fell through the air like a lead ball, and she didn't even smile as she said it. She then just stared at him, and he saw his own feelings mirrored in her almond-shaped eyes. "What about Tia?" Rinoa asked boldly. She realized that Raijin would probably never make the first step, and she didn't want to stay in limbo about it forever. She'd done that for her entire relationship with Squall. She wouldn't leave the truth just sitting there to twist and fester ever again.

"I can't just sneak behind her back, ya know? I mean, you know how that feels. I guess... I gotta see if there's anything to save."

Rinoa nodded. "I know. But I also know that you can't keep a relationship going if it doesn't want to be saved, too."

He reached out to touch her limp hair with a big hand, but dropped it away before contact. "Yeah, I know. I'm gonna head to Dollet tomorrow. Seifer should be okay now that Laguna's here to keep reporters away." Once the story about the sarin gas in Garden broke and that Laguna Loire would be coming to Balamb Town, the TV and newspaper reporters came out of the woodwork with cameras pointed and microphones thrust out at every chance. The number of them grew as trains from Timber and Esthar rolled into Balamb's station. They all wanted to know why Xu did it. They all wanted to know what exactly happened to Seifer. They all wanted to know how Squall and Quistis felt about being vindicated. And they all got stymied with 'no comment'.

"You'll text me, right? No matter what?"

"No matter what." Raijin grinned, and she grinned back. It made him just want to kiss her and carry her into his room, but they'd both seen firsthand how that sort of thing wrecked lives. "Dollet TV's still calling me, ya know? Maybe I'll stop there, too."

"It sure would give Seifer extra incentive to get better. If he does."

"No if about it, ya know? Nothin' can stop Seifer, ya know?"

Rinoa smiled. "No, I guess not." He always got what he wanted in life. Even Squall. She tried not to be bitter about it, and knew that Squall and her were all wrong for each other, and that there was a perfectly great man standing right in front of her. But she still held a little anger about it. Enough time just hadn't passed yet. "I guess I'll see you later."

"Rinoa?" Raijin called before she turned a corner to go down a different hallway.

"Yes?" She looked over her shoulder.

"You saved a lot of people today. Don't forget that." A haunted look came over his face. "Quistis gave me that advice, so I know it's a lot better than any advice I could give you myself."

She nodded. "Good night, Raijin." When she rounded the corner and he was out of sight, she slumped against the wall, overcome by grief and happiness and hope that she tried not to give merit to that it brought tears to her eyes. Her translucent angel wings wrapped around her in the poor imitation of a hug as she quietly wept.

'Have you decided anything?' Squall's whiteboard asked in slightly sloppy printing. Because he couldn't talk, Laguna gave him the whiteboard with a pack of different coloured markers. Quistis acted as a translator, since Seifer couldn't read Squall's words. But half the time, Seifer didn't need Squall's messages verbalized. He could feel what Squall wanted to say in the touch of his hand, or the way he held his body. And, if it were really important and Squall didn't want to write it down because he found it embarrassing, he'd murmur it in Seifer's ear, voice clenched like he was trying to be a ventriloquist.

"No," Quistis answered. Squall meant Nida and Jurgen. She still wasn't allowed to see Nida, and probably wouldn't be allowed for a few weeks, at least until he wasn't so dependant on the methadone to get the heroin out of his system. And Jurgen still remained in his coma. She couldn't see Nida, and she wouldn't see Jurgen. She just couldn't look down at him and know that he'd done this to himself so she could have the chance to get out. She couldn't look down at him and realize that he'd done it for nothing, because she might still love Nida.

'Don't choose who you think you should,' Squall wrote. He gave her a meaningful look. His writing was normally so precise, like an architect, but the morphine made it loopy, crooked and shaky. He'd even spelled a couple of words wrong. He would have been mortified if he were sober, but since he was high out of his mind, he didn't care. It worried Quistis. She remembered the Squall she found in Timber.

"I know he probably did it to keep appearances, but I'd prefer you be with a man who hasn't shot me," Seifer said. His blind eyes kept skirting over to Squall, and Quistis knew he thought the same things she did - that painkillers were dangerous territory for someone with Squall's addictive tendencies.

Quistis frowned and opened her mouth to defend Nida, but her phone started chiming to tell her about an incoming text message. She fished around for her phone and frowned at the number. She'd been so far removed from civilization that she hadn't culled her friends list, and saw the message came from Zell's phone. She wasn't exactly as unforgiving as Squall, who probably would smash his own phone if he got a call from Zell, but she didn't know if she wanted to talk to him, either.

'Who is it?' Squall wrote, spelling is with a z at the end.

"Nobody," she answered.

Squall tried to snatch the phone away before she put it back in her pocket, but his reflexes under morphine were slow and clumsy.

"It's either Zell or Selphie. I mean, I can see Xu having the balls to try and text you," Seifer pointed out, voice tight with the constant pain he had to live with because of his stupid poppy allergy. "But I think you'd just laugh in disbelief if it were her."

"Zell," Quistis admitted, which won a glassy, evil glare from Squall.

"Okay Kitten, my body's already broken enough without you fucking up my hand." Seifer wrenched his hand out of Squall's tightening grip and flexed his fingers until the circulation came back.

"Sorry," Squall ground out.

"And don't even start writing anything." Seifer's improved hearing picked up on the squeaking of Squall's dry-erase marker. "I mean, you don't have to forgive Zell, but you do have to work towards a common goal..."

"Yeah, yeah," Quistis interrupted. "Restoring Garden to fight Ultimecia. We know," she said darkly. This was one thing she was in complete agreement with Squall about. Normally she sort of fell between their opinions, but not on this. She knew they had to go back to Garden eventually, but she wasn't ready. She couldn't see when she'd be ready.

"Good," Seifer said, settling back in his pillows. While in Balamb, he spent most of his time in bed, because he didn't know this hospital well enough to travel blind, and he hated the wheelchair they'd provided for him. It didn't have intuitive steering, it had an uncomfortable seat, and one of the wheels sometimes squeaked. "Where's Serino?" He asked. He missed the sweet nutty smell of the moogle's fur.

Squall started writing, and they both waited until he'd finished. Quistis had to read it over a few times because his writing was getting sloppier, just like his spelling. "He went out towards the mountains to check if any moogles left scent trails."

"I wonder... could you imagine if there were moogles in the mountains around Garden that whole time? We could have been living right next to them."

Quistis reached out and patted Seifer's good knee when she saw the sad look on his face. "You'll get back out there. Tiernan will do everything he can. Especially because he's probably afraid Squall will murder him in his sleep if he doesn't."

Squall nodded vigorously, eyes looking like he was on another planet.

They looked up when the door opened and Laguna popped his head in. "Hey guys, what's up?" He came into the room with a bright smile. His eyes lingered on his son, and the smile tightened around the edges. "I just wanted to let you know that we're gonna take off for Esthar soon. Jurgen just woke up, and he's safe for travel."

"Jurgen's awake?" Quistis asked.

"Yeah. You can go see him if you want."

"Um... what about Nida?" She asked.

Laguna frowned. "He'll be staying here in the detox wing." Her request seemed odd to him, the desire to bring along the man who almost killed Seifer, but Laguna wasn't aware of her conflicted feelings. "Are you willing to give a statement to the press? You know they're gonna be out there like vultures." He came across the room and gave Squall a one-armed hug, but then lifted his chin up and studied his face.

Squall grunted through his wired-shut mouth and tried to slap his father's hand away, but couldn't because he saw three of Laguna looking down at him.

Seifer nodded, but didn't exactly feel thrilled about going back to Esthar. He knew as soon as they got back, he'd have to go under the knife again. _Another_ leg surgery. _More_ scars. Would there be any bone in his leg, or would it wind up being all pins and metal?

"I'm gonna go see Jurgen," Quistis said, sliding off the bed. She was glad Jurgen was awake, but didn't know what she'd say to him when she saw him.

"Get some sleep," Laguna commanded to Seifer and Squall. Mostly to Squall, though. "We'll leave in a couple hours."

Quistis lowered herself into a squeaky plastic chair beside Jurgen's bed. He'd been drifting in and out of sleep, but the creak woke him. He slowly lolled his head to look at Quistis. His mouth twitched up at the corners, and his grey eyes drilled right into her.

"I'm sorry."

Jurgen wearily waved his hand to push away Quistis's apology. "How many...?" He whispered, voice scratchy and weak.

"We're not sure yet," Quistis muttered, squeezing her hands together in her lap. "Might be close to a hundred. There are a few here that are succumbing to the gas."

"Xu?"

"Alive. Under arrest. She'll go to trial in Fisherman's Horizon. It's neutral ground." She shrugged. "I couldn't kill her."

Jurgen nodded. "Your friend?"

Quistis's lips parted and a shaky little breath came out. "He... he's alive. In detox. Xu had him addicted to heroin."

Jurgen nodded again and watched her for a while. She felt scrutinized, and it made her very uncomfortable because it made her feel so guilty. "You love him?"

She wanted to say 'no'. She wanted to say that she didn't still have lustful feelings for him, but didn't want to lie. Jurgen didn't deserve that, and he would have known she was lying, anyway. "I I don't know," she admitted. "I want to say no, but I don't know."

"Are you going to stay behind here with him?"

"No," Quistis answered immediately. At least she knew how to answer that question. "I'm going wherever Squall and Seifer are."

"You're very loyal."

"Maybe to a fault," she admitted.

"We kissed once, Quistis." He stopped to let out a weak, ragged cough. "You don't owe me anything." But his eyes said different. He wanted her, and couldn't hide it even to spare her feelings. He closed his eyes, weariness overcoming him.

Quistis reached out and took his hand in both of hers. She wished she could just easily say 'Jurgen, I want to be with you'. But then she thought of Nida and the past they had together, and the lingering jolt in her stomach whenever she thought of him. Is this the same conflict that Squall felt when he thought of Seifer and Rinoa? Maybe not, though. He didn't love Rinoa. There'd been no question who Squall wanted to be with. But, now Quistis understood the conflict he'd felt. She just hoped she could come out on the right end of things, too.

"Do you feel vindicated now that everyone knows you were right?"

"Seifer, what did you think of to keep yourself alive during torture?"

"What exactly did Astor do to you?"

"What would you like to say to Xu right now?"

"Are charges being laid against you, Mr. Leonhart, for the death of Astor Westfield?"

"President Loire, what is Esthar's position against Balamb Garden?

Zell and Selphie stood on the fringe of the sea of reporters and curious people, watching as Laguna led Squall, Quistis and a wheelchair-bound Seifer into a van. Estharian guards stood armed and ready, watching the crowd impassively, faces obscured by their masks.

Zell started to push through the crowd to get closer, but was held back by a surprisingly strong Selphie.

"I need to..." Zell began.

"I know," Selphie said. "But now's really not the time." She looked at Seifer, being helped into the van by Laguna. His eyes looked straight ahead, staring into nothing, but he held his back straight and proud and so typically like Seifer Almasy. The red scars on his face stood out in stark relief, a map of the agonies he suffered. Selphie hadn't said to Zell what she found in FH, and didn't know if she ever would. She'd just said she'd found proof. Zell didn't need to picture that dank, stinking hellhole. He didn't need to picture Seifer cramped down there, bleeding out and suffering through intense pain, knowing it would start all over again when he got dragged back out. Selphie couldn't get the ideas out of her mind. She still smelled it. The thoughts made her wake in the middle of the night, shivering. Zell didn't need to picture all that, and feel crushed by the guilt, the knowledge that their disbelief in their friends had caused such things to happen.

"You think they'll ever forgive us?" Zell asked as Laguna tersely said "no comment" to all the questions being thrown in his face.

"I don't know."

"If you were them, would you forgive it?" A voice asked behind them.

Zell whipped around, but Selphie turned slower. She knew that voice, surely as she knew her own. Irvine and Fujin stood behind them. Fujin looked as cold and remote as ever, her single eye glaring at them, but Irvine looked very veiled. Selphie had always been able to read Irvine's looks, most of them of a sexual nature, but not today.

"No," Selphie admitted. "I couldn't get over what Seifer did to Trabia Garden, so this?"

"You forgave Edea," Irvine pointed out. This wasn't a new argument.

"I needed a scapegoat."

"And they needed friends."

"But, Xu..." Zell began. He halted when Fujin lunged towards him. She probably would have decked him if Irvine hadn't held her back.

"Even I know not to let my dick _completely _control me, Dincht." He put an arm around Fujin's shoulders and started to lead her away.

"Where will you go now?" Selphie asked.

"Fisherman's Horizon. We need to get evidence to the tribunal to put Xu away."

"DEATH PENALTY," Fujin corrected.

"Luchia's missing, you know?" Zell pointed out. He still felt like he wanted to throw up. The feeling hadn't gone away since he realized what he'd done. Since he realized who Xu really was, and that he'd had sex with her. He'd fallen in love with her.

"I know."

Selphie narrowed her eyes. There was sometimes a lot of mystery around her ex-boyfriend, and even she couldn't deduce what he hid.

"Just give it time, okay? At least wait until Seifer's not in a wheelchair anymore."

Both Selphie and Zell flinched at Irvine's words, which was the intent.

"UNDESERVING," Fujin said scathingly as she and Irvine disappeared into the dispersing crowd. Now that the focus of all the circus drove away, people didn't have a reason to rubberneck anymore. Reporters scurried off to meet with editors, and the streets quelled back into an uneasy silence.

"I never liked Seifer, but I never wanted that to happen to him."

"I know," Selphie said. "You don't have to tell me that."

"I could have killed Squall. I didn't want to. I thought he was doing the right thing. You think he knows that?"

She could hear the tears behind his words. "Come on," she said, putting an arm around his strong shoulders, which were heavily hunched over. "Let's go to your mom's house."

"You didn't answer me."

"I know. Because I don't think it needs an answer."

Squall awoke to a dark, strange room. Once he tried to breathe, he knew immediately what woke him up. Pain. Pure, unchecked pain shot through his entire torso and radiated through the rest of his body. The painkillers had worn off, and now his legs tingled with the brutal agony starting in his ribs. He reached across the bed for Seifer's hand, wanting to hold it through the worst of it, where he forgot how to cope and had to steel himself against it all over again. But, Seifer's hand wasn't there. His fingers scuttled across the sheets, and still no hand. And no Serino, either.

He slowly sat up, regretting it. He breathed out against the wave of nausea, and looked around the unfamiliar room. They'd stopped in Fisherman's Horizon overnight so they could drop off Xu and work out trial dates. Squall wasn't looking forward to seeing her again if he had to testify. And he really didn't want Seifer to have to recount all that happened to him. Again he felt around for his lover, but finally realized he was alone in the bed. They'd stayed in the train taking them back to Esthar, rather than trying to move all kinds of medical equipment to an inn. They could have taken Ragnarok, but Tiernan thought flying in Squall, Seifer and Jurgen's conditions was a bad idea.

"Seifer?" Squall asked, muffled through clenched teeth. The tiny bathroom was dark and unoccupied. For some reason, Squall had a cold shiver of fear pulse down his spine. He slowly dragged himself out of bed and put on whatever clothes were handy, not caring if they were on backwards or inside out. He also put a black bandana over his messy hair, not caring or bothering to brush it. He just needed to find Seifer.

He didn't bother checking the rest of the train, because he knew his boyfriend wouldn't be there. That same connection that gave him the cold shudders told him where Seifer had gone in the middle of the night like this. He considered stopping to wake up Quistis, but kept moving. That sense of urgency turned to a nauseous movement in his stomach. Squall wished he could down half a bottle of painkillers, but stupid Tiernan kept them carefully guarded. So instead he breathed as shallowly as possible, and sneaked his way around any guards hanging around. Squall supposed he should be thankful for his drinking days, because they'd helped his stealth a great deal.

As Squall walked through the quiet, breezy night, he got an ugly sense of déjà vu. The last time he'd walked these same streets with the sound of the ocean and buoy bells in the background, he'd also been looking for Seifer. He'd been desperately hoping he wouldn't come to find Seifer dead. The last time he'd walked these streets, he hadn't known that he'd kill Astor with a brutality that shocked him. He hadn't known if Xu would ever be caught. All he'd known was the desperation of trying to find Seifer.

When he got to the entrance of the Garden facility, he didn't really want to go in. Armed SeeD stood outside, but he didn't try to hide himself from them. They were guarding Xu. Hopefully they put her in one of those tiny holes. The idea gave him vindictive pleasure.

"Squall...?" One of the SeeD blurted out in surprise.

Squall heard a lot of nervous gun cocking at the utterance, which broke a very thick silence. He slowly put his hands up to show he didn't have a weapon, breathing as shallowly as possible. He hadn't brought his white board, and he didn't really want to clench-talk, so he just stood there, staring down the SeeD. They were comrades again, but Squall didn't feel like one of them anymore.

The SeeD raised his arm, and the guns lowered. "Are you here to speak to Xu, too?"

Squall slowly nodded.

"Seifer's not SeeD, but we figured we owed him if he wanted in." The SeeD stood to the side to allow Squall passage.

Squall nodded again, knowing that Seifer hadn't come here to see that bitch. The female SeeD behind the administration desk pushed the guest book across the table for him to sign. He could still smell the rank astringent they must have used to clean up what had been left of Astor. He couldn't help but smile as he scrawled his name. The pain in his broken jaw from the motion was worth it. He noticed that someone had written Seifer's name in for him. He gestured for the SeeD guard to lead the way.

Squall flashed back to beating the shit out of Astor as they walked down the stairs to the second level. When the guard made a move to turn down the hallway where Xu's cell was, Squall turned the other way, and went to where he knew Seifer was.

"Uh... Squall... Sir?" The SeeD, as young as Squall had been when he'd first graduated, said nervously. "Xu is this way."

Squall gave him the finger over his shoulder and kept walking. He really wanted to stop and sit down because his ribs were killing him, but he kept going. The door to Seifer's home for nearly a week of hell was ajar, no light coming from within. Squall gently pushed the door ajar, and heard the echoing sound of Serino's chirps.

"Kupo..." The moogle greeted sadly. Squall could see his black eyes glittering in the light coming from the hallway.

"Hi, Kitten."

Squall lowered himself down beside Seifer, who sat with his back leaning against the wall, his legs dangling over the edge of the small, cramped room that still gave off a slight, hellish odour.

"I guess I just needed to come here," Seifer murmured. "For some kind of closure."

Squall rested his chin on Seifer's free shoulder. Serino hunkered down on the other one, pom-pom drooped.

"The first thing I remember feeling after waking up was him poking things into my bullet wounds. I thought it was so painful, but later on I wished for him to just go back to doing that. Whenever I blacked out, he would give me smelling salts."

Squall found Seifer's hand and squeezed it. He wanted to ask Seifer to stop talking about this. He didn't want to hear that fear making Seifer's voice wobble. He wanted to keep Seifer safe from these memories, but knew the other man needed closure.

"When... Astor..." He haltingly ground out the name. "When he had to leave, he'd put me down here. It stunk way worse than it does now. It smelled from whoever was down there before me. When he brought me out again, he broke my leg the first time, and made the first cuts on my face. Then he put me back down there. It was too small to hold my leg comfortably, and the pain was so bad that he didn't have to bother with the smelling salts.

"Next time he brought me out, he started with the electrical burns. He broke my leg a second time, then used magic to poorly set it. I guess so he could keep breaking it in the same place. He put my feet in water and started electrocuting me as he set up the eye drip. I don't know if the eyes or losing my testicle hurt more."

"Kupo, Seifer. Stop," Serino said quietly.

"I need to," he whispered. "I changed, you know? You can't go through something like that without finding a different place of your brain. I guess maybe I used the pain and the blindness as atonement. I've done a lot of bad shit. Maybe I didn't deserve _this_, but it was a catalyst. I felt myself die and come back as something different. A person that my mother could have been proud of. A person _I_ could be proud of. That you could be proud of, Squall."

"I'm already proud of you."

"I wish you hadn't killed Astor. I wish I hadn't killed all those people for Irvine. Or for Ultimecia."

Squall gave Seifer's cheek a clumsy, closed-mouth kiss. It was the strongest Squall had ever heard Seifer say her name before.

"I guess, in a way, I should thank Astor for purging Ultimecia from my system." Seifer squeezed Squall's hand tight. "I'm sorry for getting mad at you in Balamb, Kitten. It's just you spoke a lot of truth. I just didn't want to hear it. I didn't want to know that I couldn't swoop in and save you. I guess there are some things about me that nothing can change, huh?" He smiled bitterly, his scars stretching. "It made me realize that I might be stuck like this forever."

"You won't be."

"What if this new Seifer fucks up his life like the old Seifer?" Tears trickled from his milky eyes, stinging and burning them. He let out a small sob and tried to cover it up. But he couldn't stop and started weeping. He felt Squall's arms come around him and felt Serino's fur against the side of his neck. It actually felt really good to cry over it, to let out the poison.

"If I can start over, I know you can," Squall mumbled, his own tears mingling with Seifer's. "And we'll start over together."


	18. Chapter 18

****

Chapter 18

It took two months for the first hearing of Xu's trial to take place. It was only an arraignment and a laying down of charges and opening statements. Nobody knew exactly how the defence attorney would try to justify Xu's actions, but Seifer felt certain it would involve a lot of blaming him. Luckily, the three of them hadn't had to say anything. He didn't even want to go, but they needed to show a face of solidarity against her. He just felt lucky he hadn't been able to see her.

But, after today, maybe that would change. Maybe at her next tribunal date, set for just over two months from today, he'd have to look in her eyes and see all her cold hatred. Or, after today they'd realize the damage to his eyes went deeper than his corneas. Tiernan would realize he'd be mistaken, and Seifer would have to live with the realization that he'd be blind for the rest of his life. He'd never see a sunrise. He'd never see the ocean. He'd never see Squall's face.

Right now everything looked blacker than it had through the milky blindness. He couldn't tell if he could actually see from behind the bandages. He'd just woken up from a nap, and could sense Squall nearby.

"Tiernan's coming in soon to take the bandages off," Squall whispered in his ear. He still spoke carefully, even though he'd had the jaw wires removed a week earlier.

"What if...?"

"He said the operation went fine, remember?" Quistis pointed out, looking up from her knitting.

"I've lost track of how many surgeries I've had that he said went fine," Seifer muttered angrily. He liked Tiernan a lot, and enjoyed the dinners they all had together as a family - he, Squall, Quistis, Laguna, Ellone and her husband, Ward and his wife, and Kiros and Tiernan, but he kind of didn't ever want to see him in a hospital setting ever again.

He didn't even want to _think_ about his eventual testicular implant surgery, probably in the somewhat near future. He knew the recovery for that one wouldn't be fun, and he'd finally stopped having genital pain, but it would be nice to actually have sex with Squall again. He'd never complain about sucking Squall's dick all the time or using toys on his boyfriend, but he missed getting hard himself.

"What?" Squall asked, seeing Seifer grinning.

"Nothing," he teased.

"Something dirty, obviously," Quistis said. She smirked, but it turned bittersweet, and she was glad only Squall could see it. She still hadn't made a decision about Nida or Jurgen. The first time she'd seen Nida since he almost killed her had been at Xu's hearing. They'd had an awkward conversation where they'd barely been able to meet each other's eyes, and hadn't said anything deeper than "how are you?" She'd felt Jurgen watching them the entire time, but he hadn't approached her.

"Oh Hyne, Quisty. Just pick one. Your yearning-filled silences are getting old."

Quistis glared at Seifer, and knew he could 'feel' it. "It's not that easy."

"I don't know what Jurgen looks like, but he sounds hot. I wonder if he'll look like how I pictured him." The only thing he knew was the colour of Jurgen's eyes.

"Oh, you won't be looking at him," Squall teased, though he was a little serious. Jurgen _was_ pretty hot after all, and there was that whole appeal of a man in uniform. "And don't just choose someone because of what someone else says."

Quistis opened her mouth to tell them both to just drop it already, but she silenced herself when she saw Tiernan coming through the glass viewing window.

"How are you feeling?" Tiernan asked impassively, shooing Squall away so he could pull back Seifer's sheet and have a look at his leg. "Any headaches?"

"Besides the one from annoyance? No."

"Squall, can you dim the lights please?" Tiernan asked. "Lower... okay, that's good." The room now was almost dark, save the barest ambient, soft light. "You ready?"

"How long will I have to live like a vampire for?" Seifer asked as he felt Tiernan's fingers gently pressing against the gauze, checking for swelling around his eyes.

"A week, a little more for harsh lights or really bright sunshine. I'll be giving you some drops too, that you'll have to use every four hours for the first few days. And I mean that."

"I know," Seifer grumbled. "Tiernan...?"

"Yes?" He pulled out a blunt pair of surgical scissors.

"Um..." He bit his lip, feeling an embarrassed flush enter his cheeks. "Is it okay if Squall does it?" He really wanted Squall's face to be the first thing he saw with new eyes.

Tiernan smiled. "Okay." He waited for Squall to wash his hands, then handed him the scissors. "Cut into them along his temple. Be careful."

"Whatever," Squall muttered, gently pushing the blunt tip under the gauze bandages. His own cheeks felt hot with blush, too. He felt very flattered, and extremely loved, to be given such an honour, but it was still embarrassing to have Seifer say it in front of Tiernan.

When he made the first snip, Seifer's hand scuttled across the bed and found Squall's knee. Squall could feel how nervous Seifer was from that shaky, desperate touch. He snipped again, and then a third time. The gauze broke apart, and Squall looked to Tiernan, who nodded. He started to gently pull the tape away that held the gauze to Seifer's face.

"Keep your eyes closed at first," Tiernan instructed gently as Squall rolled the gauze away, then gingerly took the pads off each eye. Seifer's eyes moved under his closed lids, and he suppressed a gasp when Squall's hand covered his own.

"Okay," Squall whispered. "Open them."

Seifer did slowly, squinting as the light, even limited light like this, hit his sensitive eyes. He could see the highlights of Squall's face, and his eyes shining. He let out a breath as his eyes adjusted, and he saw Squall again. It seemed like a lifetime since he'd last looked in those stormy blue eyes, so like the cold Trabian seas. Squall's face had always been burned in his memory, but he studied it all over again, letting his new corneas get as drenched in Squall's presence as the rest of him. His hair looked very auburn in this light, and he had a new, small scar at the corner of his perfect, sensual mouth. He looked better than anything Seifer's memory had been able to give him.

Seifer drank in his mouth, his cheekbones, the way the curve of his neck disappeared into his shirt. The way his lips turned up in that unsure, dorky little smile that Seifer found so adorable. The way he could look at Seifer and make him feel the way nobody else could, whether good feelings or bad. Nobody could get him as angry as Squall with a simple look. Nobody could make him as impatient as Squall with a single roll of those cold blue eyes. Nobody could make his blood run like Squall. Nobody could make him feel as alive with one simple gaze.

"Hi, Kitten..." He whispered, reaching up to touch that face. "Long time no see."

Squall frowned. "Not funny." He thought of the first time Seifer had seen him naked, how scrutinized and shy he'd felt. He had the same feeling now - being so thoroughly examined. But he also never felt so important.

"All right," Tiernan said, cupping Seifer's face and tilting it towards him. "Any headaches."

Seifer's eyes still went towards Squall. "God, no."

"Eyes here." Tiernan pulled out a pen light. "This might hurt a little." He briefly flashed the light in Seifer's eyes to check on pupil dilation. Seifer flinched and blinked several times, the light flashing in his gaze even when he closed his eyelids.

"Dilation is good. Now, you have to promise you'll tell me if headaches start forming, if you suddenly have loss of vision, or if you're having problems seeing things faraway, or reading. But, we're not going to try reading for a week or two." He put a bottle of drops on the table beside the bed. "No television or anything with an LED screen, either. No cell phones, no mp3 players, all right?"

"Okay." Seifer would have abided by a lot more requests. Seeing Squall again put him over the moon. He tore his eyes away from his boyfriend and focused on Quistis, who beamed at him, eyes glistening with unshed tears behind her eyeglasses. "Instructor Trepe, you look awful."

"Oh, very nice!" She shook her head at him, but then they shared a grin and she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and kissed his cheek. He stroked her hair, then pulled back so he could search her eyes.

"I have some more good news," Tiernan said, grinning.

"Which would be...?" Seifer asked when his doctor left him in annoying suspense.

"Your cast can come off today. I'm going to put a brace on your leg, but the bone has healed sufficiently enough that you should start using the leg again.

"Seriously?" Seifer asked.

"You'll have to use crutches, and I'd still keep the wheelchair handy in case you get really sore, but if things go well in physiotherapy, you can move up to a cane within a few weeks."

"I can?" Seifer asked, feeling overwhelmed. In the back of his head, he'd kind of resigned himself to the fact that he'd somehow be crippled forever by what Astor had done, and in turn would give Astor the victory he'd wanted.

"Can you two wait outside while I do one last exam?" Tiernan asked, though it wasn't really a question.

Squall looked over his shoulder the entire way out of the room, his and Seifer's eyes trained on each other like magnets. As soon as he came out, he came face-to-face with Laguna, who'd been waiting outside with Serino perched on his shoulder. A moogle seemed perfectly at home on Laguna's shoulder. Actually, if Laguna walked around with an entire flock of faeries, moogles and a herd of unicorns, it wouldn't have seemed that odd.

"What happened?" Laguna asked, looking at Squall worriedly.

"Huh?" Squall realized he was crying, and hastily wiped out the tears. He hated that he was crying at all, let alone in front of Laguna. "He's fine."

"Good!" Laguna exclaimed while Serino peeped happily. He grabbed Squall and brought him into a crushing hug that hurt his newly healed ribs before his son could protest. It jostled Serino from his perch, so he flew into Quistis's arms, grinning in a way that made Quistis want to coo like a little girl. "Really? He can see?"

"Yes," Squall said. He didn't reciprocate the hug, but he didn't pull away, either. He liked being hugged by his father, but couldn't bridge the gap to actually hugging him back yet. Only Seifer and Quistis got that honour.

"I'm so glad!" Laguna patted Squall's cheek. "We're going to have a celebration."

"Wait..."

"We'll go out to a nice restaurant."

"Laguna, no." Squall held up his hands. It would be easier to stop a train than to stop Laguna's enthusiasm when he got on a tangent. "Seifer can't go out in bright light for a while. And his leg is going to be really weak."

"Oh." His face fell. Unlike Squall, he showed every emotion on his face. "Well, let's have a nice dinner in, and I won't take no for an answer, all right? All right?"

"Fine!" Squall exclaimed. "Sheesh. Just please, _please_ don't go overboard."

"Who, me?"

Quistis grinned at Laguna and Squall's interaction. They seemed more like father and son every day. She suddenly felt someone's eyes on her, and blinked in surprise when she saw Nida hovering in the hallway near the nurse's station.

"Nida!" Laguna exclaimed loudly enough that all of them flinched. He was oblivious, yet again, to what people wanted. Nida hovered because he hadn't wanted attention drawn to himself. Too late for that. Squall looked at him with barely contained murder, but Quistis's emotionless reaction was the one he cared about. He knew he deserved to feel under the microscope. He knew he deserved Squall's anger, and he couldn't imagine the shame he'd feel when he eventually came face-to-face with Seifer. But Quistis's blank stare... he didn't know what to do.

Serino made a quiet peep as he felt Quistis's discomfort. It made her aura shadowy and cool compared to the silver warmth he was used to from her. Squall radiated violence, and even Laguna's unflappable gold aura started to grow uneasy. "Nida..." She murmured, his name tasting familiar and sensual and cold like ashes on her tongue.

"Can we... talk, or something?" He asked, crossing his skinny arms, as if he could try to hide himself.

"No," Squall answered.

"Yes," Quistis said firmly, not looking at her dearest friend. "Just go back and be with Seifer, Squall."

"Quisty."

"Now," she said with firmness that hadn't been in her voice for a while. She sounded like the prodigy SeeD, the youngest instructor at Garden, the woman who'd had the Trepies hang off her every word before she'd let her confidence be shattered by self-doubt. "We'll go someplace private." She gestured for Nida to go on ahead, squeezing one of Serino's paws to silently ask him to stay. Maybe she didn't actually want complete privacy with Nida. Maybe Serino's nutty-scented fur would ground her.

They wound up in a small break room used for family members of long-term care patients. The smell of old coffee, cleaning products and despair hung in the room. Nida slowly lowered himself onto a vinyl bench, the fabric creaking under him.

Quistis also sat, her fingers curled into Serino's fur. Maybe she shouldn't have asked Squall to leave them alone...

"I'm sorry... about that guy. Jurgen, right?"

Quistis nodded once.

Nida kept looking down. "He saved my life. I was told that he's a friend of yours."

She nodded again. "Yes..." She choked out.

Nida finally looked up at her. His eyes looked so haunted, but he still looked at her like he could see parts of her that nobody else, not even Squall or Seifer, could see. "More than a friend?"

"I..." Serino chirped because she squeezed him a bit too hard. "I don't know," she admitted. She couldn't look him in the eyes when she said it.

"I know I can't be jealous, especially of a guy who saved your life, and never shot your best friend, and never slept with a woman who destroyed you. But, I..." He didn't know if he could say 'love' to her right now.

"She would have gotten you one way or another."

"I wanted to save you."

"You saved Seifer... I mean, it was you, wasn't it? You did send that email, right?" She asked desperately.

"Yeah."

"I knew it!" Quistis exclaimed lowly. The flash in Nida's dark, haunted eyes caused heat to rise to her cheeks. She ignored the urge to look away and make things more awkward, and instead kept staring into Nida's eyes. "I knew you did. Even when Squall said you didn't."

"I don't blame Squall for hating me."

"I don't think he hates you."

"Really?" Nida asked darkly. "He has every right to."

"I don't think Squall cares about anyone other than Seifer right now."

Nida was silent for a long time. "So... um. What now?"

Quistis opened her mouth to reply, but this was the moment where she decided to look away. She couldn't answer Nida with any surety. How could she be sure about what she wanted? How could she just drop everything that grew with Jurgen, just because she finally found out the truth about Nida? How could she just turn her back on a man who gave up his freedom, and nearly his life, to keep her safe? How could she look into Nida's eyes again, knowing that he had sex with Xu? How could she let Jurgen hold her when she had feelings still inside her for Nida? Serino peeped on her shoulder, feeling her conflict.

"I can't give you that answer, Nida."

"I'll wait. Even if the answer is something I don't want to hear. I'll wait." He rose to his feet with a weariness that aged him decades. "Can you please tell Seifer...?"

"Tell him what?" Quistis asked carefully. She wanted to ask Nida to stay, to put his hand on top of hers and give her a sign of love and comfort because she suddenly felt so alone and lonely. She wanted him to leave as quickly as possible because she saw Xu when she looked in his eyes. She saw him alive, and Jurgen in a coma. She saw Jurgen, knowing she had feelings for Nida, risking everything to help her, anyway.

"Fuck," he breathed out. "It doesn't matter. It would never be enough of an apology."

"Xu destroyed his body." She didn't plan on it to sound as mean as it did, but surprised herself when she meant it. Her feelings about Nida may have been conflicted, but her love and loyalty for Seifer weren't.

Nida looked away, shame reddening his face. "I did to," he said as he turned away from her. "I should probably get back to the addict wing now."

She watched as he left, but didn't try to call him back.

"I don't envy you right now, kupo."

"I guess if Jurgen doesn't wake up, I won't have much of a decision to make." Quistis barely recognized her own voice when she said it.

Rinoa angrily tore at the piece of paper in front of her. She was at Odine's labs, doing some exercise for the scientist. He wanted her to document her magical sensations. 'For prosperity', as he called it. She wondered if he actually got pleasure at night from reading it, though.

"Sorcerezz Rinoa!" Odine exclaimed, exasperated. "You are not concentrating!"

"I have a lot on my mind," she answered wearily. She was normally very polite with Odine, but today she couldn't hide some of the waspish snap to her words. She didn't care much for the man, but she didn't treat him with the same venom that Laguna did. Today she kind of wanted to, though.

A ripple of anger went through her as she thought of Raijin. Again. It caused a jolt of magic to pulse through her, and she felt tingling in her back when her wings briefly flashed visible. "I'm finished for today, Odine."

"But, Rinoa...!"

"I'll come back next week," she said before he could start on a long protest. She rose to her feet, looking down at the table. It was littered with torn bits of paper, her handwriting broken between each piece.

Her writing hadn't been about what her magic made her feel. It had been several drafts of a letter to Raijin. He'd been trying to work things out with Dollet TV and Tia. He texted her often, and things were keeping him there longer than he expected. He was vague about his girlfriend, or whatever she was to him, but Rinoa felt certain she knew what he really was saying, but just couldn't because he didn't want to hurt her feelings. He was going to stay with Tia. She'd let herself feel for another man whose heart couldn't be touched.

Rinoa walked down the halls of Odine's labs towards the blue brightness of Esthar, and was so concentrated on her bitterness that she didn't notice Quistis at first. The blonde woman sat in one of the waiting chairs, her eyes trailing Rinoa. The dark-haired woman stopped, did a double-take, and backed up a few steps.

"Hello," Quistis greeted.

"Quistis?" Rinoa asked, a little surprised. "What are you doing here?"

"Waiting for you," she answered honestly, rising to her feet.

Rinoa's anger left her, and was replaced by confusion. "Really?" In the past couple of months, she'd had polite conversations with Quistis, and they tried to get back a semblance of a friendship, but Quistis hadn't come just to see her. "You alone?"

"Yes. Seifer's in physio, and Squall won't leave his side for anything. I needed to get out of the hospital." Quistis was sick and tired of hospitals. And it didn't help that Nida and Jurgen were both so close whenever she was there. It had been three days since her conversation with Nida, and she still felt in complete limbo. "You wanna go have some coffee or something?" She asked uncertainly.

"Really?" Rinoa breathed out. "Yes, of course!"

Rinoa's delight couldn't help but make Quistis smile. She debated leaving as she sat there waiting for Rinoa's session with Odine to finish up. Was she ready to have time alone with the other woman? She supposed she sought out Rinoa because she didn't want something else in her life that was hanging in the balance. She had enough of that with Nida and Jurgen.

"How'd the session go?" Quistis asked as they slowly walked down the promenade towards a cluster of restaurants, cafes and fashionable shops.

"He always wants me to write down what I'm feeling. It's like going to a psychiatrist, except I don't feel like it's helping me," Rinoa admitted. It felt so good to talk to someone else, especially Quistis. She'd been spending the last couple of months mostly by herself. "How's Seifer doing, really? Whenever I see him, he says he's fine, but you know how he can be..."

"He's really doing okay." She knew exactly what Rinoa meant. Seifer hated admitting weakness. "Frustrated, of course."

"Yeah, he always has been so fit and athletic. It must be hard to not be able to go back out exploring."

Quistis grinned. "Sexually frustrated, too." The smile wilted a little as she wondered how Rinoa would handle even a mention of Squall and Seifer's sex life, or current lack of it.

"Because of the painkillers, right?" Rinoa asked, surprising the other woman. "Don't worry," she added, catching the look. "I know that they have sex, Quisty. Um... I mean Quistis. Sorry."

"Wait." Quistis stopped and reached out for Rinoa's arm to stop her too. Rinoa's skin felt warm from her recent magic use. "Rinoa... you don't need to keep apologizing to me. Yeah, it hurt that you didn't believe in us. It hurt fucking bad. It hurt that you thought that I was screwing Squall behind your back. It hurt that you didn't think I'd honour our friendship before some guy, even if that guy is my best friend. But I can't make you culpable forever. You shouldn't have to try to make it up to me every day of your life. There's a point where you just have to let it go."

"I am sorry, though."

"I did lie to you about Squall."

"I wish you'd told me, but I know why you didn't." Rinoa brushed her cheeks, sensing tears on them. "I really miss you."

Quistis smiled softly as they started walking again.

"How's Nida?"

Quistis stiffened. "Fine, I guess."

"Sorry," Rinoa apologized quickly. "Don't want to talk about him or Jurgen?"

Quistis shrugged. "It seems like they're all I've been thinking about."

"Tell me about Jurgen," Rinoa said as they stopped at a café and waited in line. "What's he like?"

"Not like Nida," Quistis answered, scanning the menu. "I mean, I suppose they're alike in some things, but Jurgen goes about things differently. Very... military."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"Peppermint cappuccino, please. And a cherry bran muffin," Quistis ordered. She turned back to Rinoa. "No. He's very even-tempered, and his eyes..."

"Decaf mocha and a blueberry scone," Rinoa ordered. She held up her hand when Quistis reached into her white leather purse for her wallet. "This is on me. And, don't argue because I've got a lot of pent-up angry magic today." Rinoa reached into her own purse and slid some gil across the counter. "Yeah, I've noticed that. Gorgeous, and not just his eyes, either."

"He helped me without question. He never treated me as delicate, even when I was. He risked himself to help me for no other reason than he cared about me, in whatever context it meant at the time. He even risked his own life to save Nida's, knowing full well that I had feelings for him."

The women took their orders and found a small table near the café's fireplace. "I've had a crush on Nida for so long. When I think about Jurgen, I kinda feel like I'm cheating on Nida with him. And when I think of Nida, I think of him having sex with Xu," Quistis said frankly. She looked at Rinoa for a few beats. Rinoa's dark eyes were full of sympathy. Quistis didn't realize until now how much she missed having a female friend. Squall and Seifer were the two most important people in her life, but she did crave that girl-time. She wondered why she let herself stay so angry? Why did she let herself cling to the past for so long?

"He did it to save you, right?"

"He still did it."

"Do you... No, never mind."

Quistis narrowed her cobalt eyes, regarding Rinoa over the rims of her glasses. "Go on."

"You never wanted to be with him because you didn't want to hurt your friendship with Xu. Was that the only reason?"

"I felt very loyal to Xu," Quistis answered defensively. She tore off a bit of her muffin with more force than needed. "She was my best friend."

"I know," Rinoa said softly, eyes downcast. "But maybe, deep down, you knew you didn't want to be with him?"

"I wanted to be with him so badly."

"Sorry. I guess I'm just projecting what happened with me and Squall. Or what's happening with me and Raijin."

"What?"

"Me and Raijin... we... I dunno. I guess we have feelings for each other."

"I kind of noticed, but I didn't know it progressed into a relationship."

"It didn't. He went back to Dollet to work on that TV thing, and Tia is there. He texts all the time, but... I think he just doesn't want to hurt my feelings, and he's worked things out with her."

"You shouldn't assume. It's not always right," Quistis said darkly.

Rinoa flushed.

"I'm sorry."

"I deserved it," the Sorceress said. "Well, what about you, then? You kept saying you were going to let go of the past. Does that mean you're going to let go that Nida slept with Xu, or does that mean you're going to let go of Nida to be with Jurgen?"

Quistis opened her mouth, but nothing came out. "What I felt for Nida was... it consumed me. Jurgen is... I don't even know. I want to get to know him. I've already had that history with Nida. The idea of Jurgen kissing me makes my blood run. One long look from Nida's eyes halted me in my tracks. I just don't know."

Rinoa reached into her purse and pulled out an Estharian silver coin gil. "Flip for it."

"Are you serious?" Quistis blew on her cappuccino and gave Rinoa an incredulous gaze.

"Absolutely. Heads for Jurgen, tails for Nida." Rinoa rolled the coin in her fingers and over her knuckles, her sorcery making the metal dance. "See, it's not a trick coin or anything." One side featured the Presidential Palace, the other a Chocobo in profile.

"You seriously want me to flip for who I'm giving my heart to?"

"You can't make up your mind, right?" There was a dark glint in Rinoa's eyes. A challenge.

Quistis made an impatient, disgusted noise. " ...Whatever."

Rinoa chuckled to herself and tossed the coin, catching it gracefully in her left hand. But she didn't open it.

"Well?" Quistis asked with a sarcastic flourish of her hand. Deep inside, she shivered with curiosity and anticipation that she didn't want Rinoa to see. Considering the playful triumph written there, Quistis had failed.

Rinoa opened her fist and peeked at the coin, and then looked at Quistis's face. "You want it to be one over the other, don't you?"

"What...?"

"You're hoping, deep down, that it's heads or tails more than the other one."

Quistis blinked and sat back in her chair. "Hyne..."

"You should know me enough by now that I wouldn't leave such an important life choice to the flip of a measly gil. But I have learned from experience that sometimes you have to let your head get out of the way of your heart."

"Like right now with Raijin?" Quistis asked, still looking at Rinoa's fist. What had the coin said? She knew that Rinoa was right. She was hoping that it was one over the other. What if she'd listened to the coin, and she'd wound up with the wrong choice? She felt foolish and indecisive.

"Touché."

"Look... is it okay if we cut this short?"

"You gotta go to the hospital?" Rinoa asked, sipping her mocha with a grin.

"Yeah. I know that it wasn't much time to spend together..."

"It was more than worth it," Rinoa said before Quistis could finish. "Tell Seifer I said hello." She didn't even know what to tell Squall, so she just left him out.

"I will." As Quistis walked past, she squeezed Rinoa's shoulder. It wasn't the hug they would have shared before all the mess happened, but it warmed Rinoa's heart and rippled the magic in her body.

Rinoa decided to stay behind a few minutes longer. She pulled out her cell phone and re-read through all of Raijin's texts as she munched hungrily on her scone. As she used her magic more often, she found she could pack away the food without abandon. She worried about getting fat and looking like a pig, but Raijin would always chuckle and say it was oddly endearing.

Raijin... She may have thought he was still with Tia and just trying to be polite, but she'd kept every single text. Now, she wondered if she was just being afraid and remembering how things happened with Squall.

"Raijin's not Squall," she whispered to herself as she dialled Raijin's number, checking her watch to see what time it would be in Dollet. Late, but not so late that, being a night owl, he'd be asleep.

"Rinoa, ya know?" Raijin's voice greeted. It shot even more warmth through her, centred in different parts of her body than from Quistis's touch. "Is everything okay?" Traffic noise whizzed past in the background on his end.

"Everything's fine."

"Whew!" He exclaimed. "It's just that you never call this late here, ya know? I don't mind, though!" She heard the relief in his voice.

"I didn't mean to scare you."

"I'm not scared. Just... well, I kinda thought you were mad at me. I've called a few times, but you never picked up."

"I know. I _was_ kinda angry with you."

"What'd I do?" He asked. She heard background noise as he moved around. The traffic background quieted and she heard a door closing.

"Nothing, really. Just... I guess I was maybe reading things into your text messages that weren't there."

"Like what?"

"That were trying to let me down easy, that you still love Tia."

"Huh? I just... I guess I didn't want to talk about that kind of stuff over texts, ya know? Seems kinda personal for it. Maybe I should have been more blunt or something. Fujin and Seifer are always telling me I'm too obtuse, ya know?"

Rinoa smiled, feeling stupid. "How would you like a visitor?"

"What, here?"

"You don't want me to come?"

"Of course I do, ya know? It's just... don't you have to be in Esthar for your sessions with Odine?"

"He'll wait," she said, slowly opening her fist to look at the coin. "I could teleport there right now. And we could talk about things that are too personal for text messages."

"Serious?" Raijin asked, voice lowering an octave.

"Serious."

"Well, my hotel room's kinda a mess, and you should probably at least bring an overnight bag."

"I can buy whatever I need there." The warmth flooded through all of her until she couldn't feel her legs. She hadn't felt this kind of rush in a really long time.

"Okay," Raijin breathed, his voice giving away that he was feeling the exact same things she was.

"See you soon." She hung up and started to center her magic as she walked out of the café. She pocketed the silver gil, liking that the coin picked the right side. As her angel wings popped from her back and her body began to vanish from Esthar, she hoped that Quistis would follow the decision that she knew was right, too.

Seifer grimaced as he adjusted his weight in the therapeutic hot tub. He tried to hide it as Squall lowered his deliciously naked body into the big tub next to him.

"Sore?" Squall asked, wet and naked skin rubbing against Seifer's.

"Dammit," Seifer breathed out. "Can't hide anything from you. It was just a hard session. That's all."

"Sure?" Squall used his hand to scoop some water up and let it run down the back of Seifer's neck. The touch made Seifer's heart pound, but his genitals still remained unresponsive.

"Yeah." With his mind on pills, Seifer looked carefully into his lover's eyes. He looked perfectly sober. A day earlier, he'd been weaned off his painkillers to a much smaller dose, and Seifer had that gnawing fear in the back of his mind that he'd start to see Squall slipping. He hoped his lover didn't see the tiny lie, that he'd stopped taking his own pain medication. He hated being dependant on it, and he really wanted to have his dick back and functioning.

"I know you hate physio and you're in a lot of pain afterwards, but I like watching you," Squall admitted, wrapping an arm around Seifer's waist under the hot water. "You get all hot and sweaty and determined. Not even a bomb could stop you."

"You're a freak," Seifer said with affection. It would take a while for the painkillers to work out of his system, so he just had to grin and bear it. Which was especially difficult in times like this, with Squall next to him and smelling so good, looking inviting and oddly vulnerable with his wet hair slicked off his face. The wet erection pressing against Seifer's hip also didn't help matters.

"I've got a surprise," Squall whispered into his ear, nibbling on his lobe.

"I can feel that," Seifer replied lightly, though his eyes darkened with lust.

Squall shook his head, grinning slightly. He looked into Seifer's face, stroking his cheeks and then tracing a line down between his dark gold eyebrows where his scar used to be before the skin grafts. The scar Squall had given him. He found he actually missed it. "No. An outing."

"Like where?" Seifer asked a little cautiously. He didn't know if he wanted to really be out in public with his crutches, having people staring and whispering behind their hands about him.

"Out into the Abadan Plains. I rented a truck, and we can go look at Malboros."

"Really?" Seifer breathed, momentarily stunned. The idea of going out and studying animals seemed like such a distant dream, someone else's life. It deeply touched him that Squall would offer something so important to him that he'd thought he'd lost. But then he remembered the crutches and the pain and how slowly he moved, and his surprised smile faded.

"Don't you fucking dare look defeated," Squall said. He leaned forward and pressed his forehead to Seifer's, the water sloshing around their entwining bodies. "Haven't you always wanted to study Behemoth mating practices?"

Seifer gave a lopsided grin and ran his hands up Squall's back. "Wait... neither of us can drive right now. Is Quisty coming too?"

"I can drive."

"Your license was revoked, remember? Well, I guess maybe you don't remember..."

Squall made an irritated noise and popped Seifer in the shoulder. "Don't be a wet blanket."

"Pfft. Mr. Pot, have you met Mr. Kettle?"

"You're telling me that the Seifer Almasy who snuck out of Garden on a nightly basis to make out with a buff, grungy garage mechanic is going to get all shirty about the status of my driver's license?"

"Maybe I think you deserve the punishment."

"Maybe I think it, too," Squall said, frowning. "But, I just really want to be alone with you."

"Okay," Seifer said, against his better judgment. He studied Squall's face with a scrutiny heightened by regained eyesight. He needed to burn every pore, scar, hair follicle and curve into his brain. He touched the jugular pulse in Squall's neck, and watched as blood slowly fed into his cheeks in the form of a blush.

"You ever think about marriage?" Seifer asked suddenly. The question surprised even him, because it's not like he'd been thinking about it or anything.

"In general, or to you specifically?"

"Well, whatever, I suppose." Seifer shrugged. "You must have thought about it while with Rinoa. I'm sure she brought it up."

"Yeah. I dunno. It seemed kinda stupid to think about getting married before I even turned 20. Are you asking?" Squall asked carefully.

"Just curious."

"I think it has the ability to change people," Squall answered seriously. "You expect people to enact certain social roles."

"You, or 'you' as in society? You're giving me broad answers instead of telling me how you really feel," Seifer said. "Don't pull that with me."

"Why can't things stay the way they are now?" Squall asked defensively.

"You think we'd change?"

"How many couples have said they won't, and they totally do? How many thought they'd be together until death, and broke up a year later?"

"Kiros and Tiernan have been together a long time. It can work, and it can work between two men."

"Maybe they're the exception. Besides, we haven't really had much time to just be _lovers_." Squall carefully moved himself into Seifer's lap. "Isn't that enough?"

"Of course it is," Seifer whispered, voice catching at Squall's closeness.

Squall's eyes clouded. "I didn't mean to disappoint you."

"I'm not."

Squall just continued to stare at him.

Seifer let out his breath in resignation. He and Squall couldn't hide from each other. "It's hard to let go of those romantic dreams sometimes."

"It doesn't mean I don't love you." Squall flushed at the usage of those completely charged words.

Seifer cupped the sides of Squall's face and firmly pulled him in for a kiss. Squall let out a hitched gasp, the water around them causing it to echo. Squall's erection pressed up against his body and made his nerves sing.

"Fuck me," Seifer whispered into Squall's mouth, words slurred by the tangling of their tongues.

"What?" Squall breathed as Seifer's mouth ravaged down the front of his throat.

"Fuck me," Seifer demanded again, hips instinctively arcing up against Squall's for the friction.

"But..." Some of the lust went out of Squall's voice. "You can't get hard."

"There's nothing wrong with my asshole," Seifer said frankly. He'd thought of asking every moment since he woke up in the Estharian hospital, but today was the first day that Seifer felt like his body could handle prolonged sex. He'd spent hours mapping out the logistics, thinking of various positions that wouldn't hurt him. But even the tamest somehow put either his own weight or Squall's weight down on his leg, or had him moving it in some awkward position that just seemed dangerous.

"I may not get hard," Seifer said when he saw the doubt in Squall's face. "But I still want it." He dug his fingers into his flesh, above his heart, gripping Squall's face when the other man tried to look away and protest. "I can still _feel _it."

"Your leg, though..."

"Please," Seifer asked. Begged.

Squall's own willpower weakened to the point of non-existence, even in the face of his concern about the precariousness of Seifer's healed leg. "You have to promise to tell me if you feel any kind of pop or twinge, though." Squall looked sternly into the other man's eyes, even while his hand slid between Seifer's thighs and up underneath his healing scrotum to touch his taint. Seifer gasped, water sloshing around him as he gently arched into the touch.

Rather than leaning in for a kiss, Squall watched Seifer's face. It seemed like a lifetime ago that they'd last had sex. Maybe it had been. They'd been two different people then. Recent events had changed their lives, and their selves, forever. But each time Squall seemed to find himself changed from some life experience, Seifer was there, either beside him or across the line from him. But still always there. Squall ran his free hand up Seifer's ravaged leg, feeling the scarring crisscrossing among the musculature. The love he felt in that instant debilitated him to the point of physical pain.

Seifer saw the look in Squall's eyes, but didn't say anything. He could have said 'I love you', or 'I love you, too', but words seemed to ineffective. Too small. They couldn't describe what passed between the two men, and never could. Seifer used his strong arms to slowly vault himself out of the tub and up to the wide lip, the rosewood deck around the therapeutic tub warm against his back when he reclined, his damaged leg still dangling in the hot water. Squall followed, standing between Seifer's legs.

He bowed forward and licked down Seifer's jugular vein, which jumped and sped up under the warmth of his tongue. His body screamed for further contact, and his cock felt harder than it had in recent memory. He started to pull away to search for some sort of lubricant, but the look in Seifer's eyes said 'don't you fucking dare', so Squall sucked on two of his fingers and quickly pressed them into Seifer's body. Seifer moaned and arched up, moving his good leg so Squall's hips were pressed flush against his pelvis.

He reached up and gripped Squall's wet hair and pulled him in for a kiss that was both loving and forceful, punishing and gentle. Squall's mouth was wet and hot and familiar. He could feel Squall's erection rubbing between his legs and against his anus, then his hand as he used more spit as lubricant.

When Squall slowly entered him, Seifer's breath caught in his throat, not wanting to escape. It, like the rest of his being, wanted to stay in this one perfect moment forever. He loved Squall so much and felt so transported in this moment. Squall moaned into the side of his neck and started with slow thrusts, which quickly became fast and full of passionate abandon, nearly pulling out and then straining his hips until his pubic hair pressed against Seifer's skin. Seifer loved these moments with Squall, the purest intimacy of them. At the peak of sex, it was one of the few times that Squall Leonhart would completely let himself go. There was no worry, no self-doubt, no addiction, no shyness. Just Squall being free.

Seifer also felt freedom. Oddly, the last time he felt this freedom, he'd been experiencing the worst of pain at the hands of Astor, rather than the greatest of pleasure at the hands of Squall. He felt free of his ruined body, free of his bitterness, fear, cowardice and insecurities. He didn't feel like he was forgetting all the bad shit, but each motion of Squall's hips and each touch from his feverishly warm mouth helped him rise above it. It made him feel alive, and _happy_ to be alive.

Squall licked at the sweat beading on Seifer's neck and chest and that pooled in the hollow of his throat, drinking it like water. As he thrust into the hot tightness of Seifer's rectum, his fingers searched for Seifer's scars, touching them like a relief map. They land-marked the horrors Seifer had survived through. Most of the scars had been earned by saving Squall's life, and some of the older ones were from Squall's own hand or his gunblade. They were also times where Seifer had tried to save Squall's life, to mould him, in his own misguided way. Squall licked at the scars his mouth could reach, and he moaned without restrained when Seifer's rectal muscles coiled around his erection. His hips thrust furiously, not worrying any more about hurting Seifer. If his lover wanted to stop, he'd say so.

Seifer moaned Squall's name, feeling a euphoria the painkillers had never been able to give him. He ran his hands up and down Squall's back, loving the masculinity of his sweat and muscles. "Harder," he demanded, feeling each thrust rushing up his spine in a pleasurable burn. Because his penis couldn't get hard, Seifer noticed all the other sensations in his body with greater clarity. The way his stomach clenched and his heart ached, the way his skin tingled, the way his nerves sang all the way down to the soles of his feet.

He felt Squall touch the scar bisecting his scrotum, where his right testicle had once been. It was the scar he was the most self-conscious of, and Squall's touch drew even more attention to it. Squall felt Seifer tense against him, and his internal muscles clenched, and he knew it was out of fear, out of shame. Squall ran his thumb up and down the scar, cupping Seifer's remaining testicle at the same time. He completely pulled out of Seifer's body, still stroking the scar, and then plunged back into him with one firm thrust. Water sloshed around Squall's legs and caused their moans to echo. Squall took his thumb away from the scar and tugged it up the underside of Seifer's penis. It didn't react to the touch, but Seifer gasped and arched his back, wrapping his good leg around Squall's buttocks.

Squall's hips moved faster as he felt his orgasm nearing. His stomach tightened and his testicles rose up closer to his body. He bowed forward and buried his face in Seifer's chest when the other man's hands gripped his shoulders. Seifer's body jerked and he made uncontrollable noises of urgency and desire as Squall changed the angle of his hips and thrust up against Seifer's prostate. His breathing grew heavier against Squall's temple, and when Squall heard his name delicately whispered into his own hair, it tipped him over the edge. He came into Seifer's body, groaning and making noises he didn't know he was capable of making.

"I missed that," Seifer whispered after their breathing both slowed, sweat drying on their skin and a trickle of Squall's semen drying on Seifer's inner thigh.

Squall grinned into Seifer's chest, his tongue flicking out across one of Seifer's nipples. "Your leg still okay?"

"Everything feels fantastic, including my leg."

"Fantastic enough to go stare at Malboros and Behemoths?"

"Maybe they can observe human mating practices along the way." Seifer grinned, slowly stretching out his bad leg, which still dangled in the hot water. "Or maybe we can pick up a hot garage mechanic on the way out of town."

Squall scowled, which just made Seifer grin broader. "So, we're going, right?" Squall asked, and Seifer was amazed that he could sound both churlish and youthfully hopeful at the same time.

"Yeah, Kitten. We'll go." Any pain that Seifer would feel in his leg would be worth the smile Squall gave him at that statement. The smile made his face, so much like Raine's, look closer to Laguna's. It was crooked and dorky. It was so very earnest and open and sparkling. He opened his mouth to say those three words he'd wanted to say to Squall almost their entire lives, and only just recently got the chance to openly do so.

But, Squall stopped him and said "I love you, too."

Quistis looked up from counting out a stranding chart in her knitting when she heard the rustling of sheets. The hat and mitten set she worked on had a subtle grey on grey colour way, and was done in a traditional Estharian style.

"How long have you been awake?" She asked when she looked down at Nida. His eyes looked calm and alert, definitely not like a man who'd just woken up.

"Twenty minutes, maybe." He grinned sadly. "I just didn't want to interrupt you. I thought you might be a dream."

"If that were the case, I'd be pretty disappointed with my subconscious mind."

"It's like waking up in heaven." Nida reached out and gently touched Quistis's knee. The smile he'd had on his face while watching her knit faded. "That hat looks really nice. It would look really good on a guy with silver eyes."

Quistis slowly lowered the knitting into her lap. "I've been working on these mittens for a few weeks now. I really despise Estharian colour work knitting. It's really finicky and the pattern seems to blur together after a while. I've never actually finished any project in it. But, I haven't given up on this one yet."

"It's because of Xu, isn't it?"

"Only a little bit," Quistis answered. "Nida... I've been so indecisive about this whole thing. Actually, I'm pretty indecisive about everything. It's why I lost my Garden license. It's why I never went after Squall. And, it's because I knew all those things weren't right for me then. Including teaching. I was too young. And... even you. I could have been with you, even back then. But I think I knew we shouldn't. And now..."

"You know you shouldn't," Nida finished. "You've moved on. Are you in love with that Jurgen guy?"

"It's not love yet. But... if I haven't given up on this stupid hat and mittens set... maybe it could be."

"I love you," Nida whispered, trying to hold back the stinging tears that threatened to show themselves.

"I know," she said quietly, leaning forward. "The reason I couldn't make a decision sooner was because I really do care about you." Quistis knew in that moment exactly how Squall had felt when he broke up with Rinoa. "But, it's over." Her voice cracked.

"I know. I still wouldn't change anything, though. Even fucking Xu. It saved your life, so it was worth it."

Quistis's face crumpled and she quickly stuffed her knitting into her bag, rising to her feet. "I wish I didn't have to hurt you."

"I understand. It hurts like hell, but..." He shrugged. "We can still be friends, right?"

"Right," Quistis echoed, smiling dimly. Though they agreed on it, both knew that they'd probably try to meet up for coffee a few times a month, and it would turn to fewer and fewer, until they would only politely chit-chat if they ever met each other again. Even though she hated hurting Nida like this, in the face of the deed, she didn't regret it. Even if she and Jurgen didn't work out, she knew there was now too much baggage between her and Nida for it to be a sustainable relationship. That kind of thing could work for Seifer and Squall, but Quistis knew her self-doubts would eat away at anything good coming out of it.

"He's a lucky man," Nida called to her as she left his hospital room, and it felt like a knife in her back, because she didn't feel like Jurgen would be lucky to have her. She felt like a bitch who just tromped all over Nida's heart.

She quickly made the walk to Jurgen's room, hastily wiping a few tears off her cheeks, and hovered in the door when she saw him sitting up in bed, awake. His eyes were focused on the flat-screen posted on the wall, and she saw the face of one of Esthar's most respected news anchors with the scrolling ticker of text news whizzing by under her picture.

"Why are you just standing there?" Jurgen asked, liquidy grey eyes sliding over to her.

"I..."

"I could smell your perfume." He looked weary, but mentally alert. "You've been crying." He said it very monotonously, but there was a softness around his eyes.

"I just visited Nida."

"How is he?" The dark-haired soldier asked politely.

"Recovering."

The stare Jurgen gave her was careful as she lowered herself into his bedside chair.

"I told him I couldn't be with him because I didn't see a future for us." She fiddled with the bamboo handles on her knitting bag. Jurgen didn't do her any favours by filling the awkward silence. He just watched her with that cool, dismantling stare, his dark lashes intensifying the paleness of his eyes, and only occasionally fluttering in blink. "Which means... you know..."

Jurgen's eyebrows raised a little.

"Aren't you going to say anything?" She exclaimed desperately. "Fine. I can't stop thinking about you. I don't know if it's just allure of the unknown, but... oh, hell. It is because I can't stop thinking about you, and even if this doesn't go anywhere, I want to find that out for myself."

Jurgen grinned.

"Aren't you going to say anything?" She asked again.

"I like hearing you say what you mean, instead of constantly second-guessing yourself."

Quistis let out an exasperated groan, pitching forward until her forehead rested against Jurgen's shoulder. "I really don't need a life lesson right now." She felt his hand come up to touch the back of her head, fingers stroking through her hair.

"I do appreciate it, but what made you think I thought we'd be a good match in the end?"

Quistis stiffened and slowly raised her head to meet Jurgen's gaze, which was when he bowed his own head to press his lips to her own. She kissed him back, and felt him suppress a gasp. When she pulled away, his grey eyes twinkled.

"You're not funny, you know?"

"There is an art to deadpan humour." The merriment dimmed, and he became serious again. "Is Nida going to be okay with this? Are you?"

"I didn't second-guess myself."

"Does that mean I get that second date now?" He opened his hand to her, and she put her own in his palm. When his strong fingers closed around it, warmth flushed through her belly and lower.

"No coffee this time, right?" She put her head back down against Jurgen's shoulder, feeling the scratchiness of his hospital gown against her cheek. They didn't talk any further, but that was okay by Quistis. She felt as safe here as she did with Squall and Seifer, and she just wanted to enjoy that feeling as long as she could.

Serino set his paws on the dashboard as Squall slowed the all-terrain vehicle in the Abadan Plains, peering over the top of a sleeping Bahamut, who'd shrunk himself to the size of a toy in order to fit on the dashboard. He'd been apart from his mistress's son for so long while Seifer had been in the confines of Esthar's magical barriers that when they'd left city limits, Bahamut had streamed to them immediately, just to be near Seifer again.

The truck could take a bomb blast, so they were quite safe, even from Behemoths, but it was still exhilarating and kind of frightening to be close to them. A Behemoth watched the truck with a kind of disdain, and went back to digging in the ground for some reason.

"It's a female," Seifer told them both. Serino chirped with interest, while Squall watched Seifer without a care for the gargantuan animal not even 100 feet away from them. "Females sometimes dig to leave deep scent trails that will last even in the wind storms. She must be nearing rut." He grimaced a little as he adjusted his weight to pull out a pen and notebook.

"Do they eat moogles, kupo?"

"Probably not. You'd just be a fuzzy bon-bon to her."

"_Probably_, kupo?"

"Well, since you guys are so endangered, it's hard to tell what your natural predators are. You tell me."

"Humans, kupo. Big snakes." A small shudder went through Serino's furry body.

Squall peered briefly at Seifer's notebook, where he drew doodles and made notes about Behemoths and their mating cycles. He'd even written a few lines of dialog, the kind of thing he could say on television to make nature interesting yet educational. Seifer looked tired and weary and thin. He looked completely engrossed and more like himself. Squall's dick twitched in his leather pants just looking at the other man and remembering fucking him in the hot tub. He began to wonder if he could convince Serino to take off for a half-hour and give them some privacy.

His cock felt huge and cumbersome as he started to inch across the seats towards the other man, but stopped when Seifer's head suddenly jerked up, and the tiny version of Bahamut on the dashboard uncurled from his napping position, wings flaring out. The temperature dropped noticeably, and the strong press of magic hung in the air like static electricity.

Serino peeped cautiously, and fluttered down away from the dashboard and into Squall's lap. Luckily, his erection vanished under the strange changes in the air, so he avoided some major awkwardness. Squall called upon Shiva, who was junctioned passively to him. She appeared outside the truck, and Bahamut's tiny form vanished to join her, reappearing outside in full majesty.

"It's okay," Seifer said quietly, talking to Bahamut through their connection. "Stand down."

Shiva looked over her shoulder into the car, and Squall nodded for her to back down as the air before the two Guardian Forces displaced, and Odin appeared in the form of a middle-aged Ivan Blackmoon. He walked past Shiva and Bahamut with black eyes blazing and full of power. Odin stopped in front of Seifer's window and waited patiently for him to roll down the electronic window.

"It's nice to see you well enough to travel."

"What are you doing here?" Seifer asked cautiously. Serino cringed back further against Squall's belly, and Squall glared daggers at the powerful, ethereal swordsman.

"There's an ugly power out here."

"I don't feel anything," Squall said angrily. His eyes burned lasers into Ivan's face, especially when his hands rested on the frame of the open window, very near Seifer. But that wasn't entirely true. Now that he was focused on something other than how much he wanted to have sex with Seifer, he noticed a strange smell in the air. He must have subconsciously chalked it up to the female Behemoth, who ran away as soon as Odin appeared, but it still hung in the air like a ghost.

It smelled of rotten flowers and raw sewage, and Squall shuddered involuntarily. Serino turned his face into Squall's stomach and shivered. Odin's proximity was sucking away the moogle's energy, and he also felt Squall's rising fear and uneasiness.

"Now do you feel it?" Odin asked impassively. He looked amused by Squall's jealousy.

Squall didn't answer, but the feeling and the smell intensified. Squall's scalp itched and shuddered, and it felt like he was choking on rotten flowers and being touched by spectral fingers. Serino shivered uncontrollably in his lap, incapacitated by the ugly shift in the air.

"Feel what?" Seifer asked, getting annoyed.

"You can't feel it because you aren't as tuned to spiritual energy as Squall is."

"What do you feel?" Seifer asked, a little confused.

"Eden..." Squall muttered tensely. He didn't want to open his mouth much because he felt like he was going to throw up. "And a lot of ghostly energy."

Seifer's confused frown deepened. Squall hadn't much discussed his ability to see ghosts with the other man.

"I've been patrolling this area for a few days now," Odin explained. "There's something building here. I followed Luchia Blackwell's energy signature to somewhere in this area, but right now she's beyond my senses. There are anti-magic fields up that block my senses and passage. But, because you are human, perhaps you can feel the energies more strongly than even I can."

"Luchia still has Eden?" Squall asked, eyes darkening in thought. "I can't believe that. She wasn't as power-hungry as Xu. She would have delivered it to someone." Squall scanned the horizon for a potential source of this ugly magic.

"This was one a thriving farming town, but it was destroyed during Adel's regime, along with many towns just like it. You're feeling those ghosts." Odin gestured to a dusty knoll, a mere shadow on the horizon. "The magical barrier is coming from there."

Squall turned on the engine and put the car in drive, heading towards it. Odin disappeared, but Squall was certain that the ethereal swordsman would be waiting for him.

"What are you doing?" Seifer demanded. "You're not seriously thinking of going towards... well, whatever the fuck is going on, are you? Squall?" Seifer said when his boyfriend didn't answer. "Squall."

"We have to."

"No, we don't. Let the Estharian army deal with it."

"How long would that take?" Squall asked, pressing his foot down harder on the accelerator. "Laguna would have to call meetings about it. He can't just deploy the army whenever he wants. Besides, if there's a chance Eden's still around, we could get it back and locked away in magical containment at Odine's lab."

"Yeah, Eden in Odine's hands sounds like a much better idea. Just like the fantastic idea of us going in there alone?"

"No 'us', Seifer."

"Squall..."

"You're too hurt," Squall pointed out logically. "I'm not letting you go in there with me."

"And you think _I'm_ letting _you_?"

Squall gave Seifer a long, searching look. It was one of those stares where they could say more to each other than they ever could with words. Where Seifer silently warred with Squall, but knew the other man was right. "Fine," he sulked, crossing his arms and turning his face away so he could glare out the window. "But you're getting help."

"I told you, there's no time to call the Estharian army."

"I'm not calling them." Seifer knew he sounded pouty, but didn't care. He pulled out his phone and speed-dialled. "Where are you?" He asked before the other line could even let out a greeting.

"South prefecture," Sol's mechanical voice replied. The masking gave away nothing emotionally, but Seifer was sure Irvine was grinning.

"With Neptune?"

"Neptune?" Squall exclaimed, the knoll coming closer.

"Yeah. Why?"

"Feel like doing some dangerous exploration work, and you can't say no."

"I'd never say no to you," Sol replied. Even the robotic voice couldn't hide Irvine's flirting.

"You called Irvine?" Squall asked after Seifer hung up. His displeasure was evident.

"You're not going in there alone. Who better to watch your back than an assassin?"

"Anybody else." Squall slowed the truck, seeing that the knoll was actually the remains of some sort of building that the land had begun to claim back. He stopped it far enough away that Seifer would be out of reach of whatever magic was going on in there.

"You're not going in until he gets here."

"You don't trust me?" Squall asked, pulling Lionheart from the back seat. Serino fluttered into Seifer's lap, feeling the tall blonde's distress.

"I don't want to lose you."

Squall paused, and tried not to look into Seifer's eyes, because it would make all his resolve vanish. He hopped out of the vehicle's cab with Lionheart pointed down in a defensive position as he made his way towards the knoll.

Seifer watched Squall get smaller and smaller, until he could barely be seen against the knoll, his heart aching. Odin remained behind with him, but kept his distance. Their magical connection told him how mad Seifer was with him at that moment. Seifer pulled out his phone again and started texting furiously.

__

'Please come back here, Kitten. Reconsider.'

It only took a minute before his phone's screen lit up to show Squall had replied.

__

'You'd do the same thing.'

Seifer let out his breath, fingers shaking as he texted _'I love you.' _Almost immediately, his phone responded, saying that the recipient was out of service range, and the message could not be sent.

Squall slowly made his way down the rotting stone steps within the knoll. The place smelled of must and something fermenting. The area was blockaded against Guardian Forces, but Squall found he could still use magic, so called up a small fire spell to light his way. He knew that he hadn't given Seifer a proper farewell, but he didn't want to lose his resolve. He knew he had to find out what Luchia was up to.

Once he got down the stairs, he saw a great cavernous area looming all around him. There were old, rotten casks and shelves and what looked like some sort of piping system. From the smell, Squall guessed this had once been some kind of winery. It was very cold, and Squall shivered all over, and not just from the chill. He could feel ghostly energy _everywhere_. He could hear them whispering in his ear, and out of the corners of his vision, he thought he could see people walking about.

The place was full of dark nooks and crannies, so Squall took his time. He couldn't feel where the strongest magical signature was coming from because of all the spiritual interference, so he had to do it the old-fashioned way. The name Penhorn Wineries was etched into the wine casks, and the name struck familiarity in Squall. Penhorn sounded familiar. Maybe Tiernan had mentioned it. Was this the area he'd been from? Had Tiernan grown up here, and watched his family die here at the hands of Adel and her armies?

As Squall moved deeper into the decrepit facility, he felt really stupid. He should have waited for Irvine and Fujin to show up. Hell, he should have done what Seifer said and waited for the Estharian army to come in here. What could he do against Eden? She would have killed him last time if Odin hadn't done something about it.

Squall mentally cast the fire light higher in the air as the smell of the air changed. It smelled less like alcohol and more like a crypt. The temperature dropped again, and now his breath came out in thick white clouds. He came across a room that might have been some sort of boardroom or meeting room when the winery had been up and running. There were figures sitting at the table, and he raised Lionheart, but none of them reacted. The musty smell grew stronger as he stepped into the room, and he saw that the figures at the table were dead. By the looks of them, they seemed mummified, but there was an air of recent movement. Dust on the tabletop was displaced, and candles had been burned here recently.

He cautiously stepped closer to the table, and saw something amazing at the head of the table. He'd recently been reading a history book to Seifer, particularly focusing on Esthar's history at the time of the Dragoons, so Azabaashe's face was embedded in his mind. Though he was mummified, he was very recognizable. Had he and the other men at the table, no doubt his lieutenants, been recently up and moving around? It's true that he'd been a necromancer and had some semblance of control over death, but why would he suddenly drop dead, then? Squall pressed the tip of Lionheart into Azabaashe's chest, and a great chunk of chalky, dusty flesh fell off, leaving a gaping hole in his chest, revealing ashen, mummified organs.

He suddenly felt a presence behind him, and only quick reflexes saved him from getting beheaded. He had Lionheart up quickly, the blade clashing against another sword. The metallic noise echoed throughout the abandoned winery. Squall's heartbeat would have quickened in fear if it weren't already pounding in his chest. The contact also made his arm numb, and not just from the jarring physical contact. It numbed his magical aura, and he couldn't feel his arm as he whirled around to face his assailant. When he saw the other person's face, his eyes grew wide and his lips parted in surprise.

He'd expected to see Luchia again, but she looked so different than he last remembered her. Maybe nothing physical had changed, but something had changed in the core of her. Her electric blue eyes now burned with religious fervour. The smell of sewage and rotten flowers clung to her.

"Leave him," a soft female voice commanded behind them. "I'd like him to witness this."

Luchia stepped to the side to allow Squall to see where the voice came from. She was translucent and ethereal looking, as flimsy as the ghosts Squall kept seeing out of the corners of his eyes. Inhuman, faceless, talking to him from another timescape. Luchia was completely forgotten as he looked at the true form, existing thousands of years in the future, of Ultimecia.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

"Luchia's told me much of you, little Griever. It's hard to believe that such a run-down drunk will be the one to defeat me."

Squall couldn't reply because he'd lost his voice. How could he speak when he was looking at an impression of Ultimecia, here in the present. She flickered in and out, seeming more translucent, then more substantial. It was like he was watching her on a television, back when Adel's tomb left all cable lines a snowy mess. As she grew thicker and more opaque, Squall noticed that everything else around him flickered, too. The dilapidated winery began to seep away and flicker. He'd see the empty wine casks, then he'd see opulent candelabras. He'd see marbled floors and haunting atmosphere. He'd see a memory of something that hadn't even happened yet. The winery was changing into Ultimecia's castle.

"You don't have my former Knight with you. Pity," Ultimecia said, light blazing from where her face should have been. Luchia stood beside the projection, falling to one knee in reverence.

"Looks like you have a new Knight to replace him," Squall commented, his hands sweating inside his leather gloves. His mind was still trying to wrap around seeing Luchia there and subjugated to Ultimecia like that, but he couldn't dwell on it. He couldn't be distracted. Not in front of her.

"He was a fool and a failure anyways," Ultimecia's image said. If she'd had a face, Squall guessed she would have had an amused look on it, gauging his reaction to her little barb.

He showed none. He found that her comment made him calmer. All he had to do was think of Seifer, and how brave he was and how much he'd survived, and that bravery seemed to mentally rub off on Squall. The respect and love that welled in him caused Squall to smile in spite of himself. Ultimecia's body language showed confusion. Love was something she'd never be able to understand. Ultimecia grew more substantial again, and Squall really hoped that Irvine was driving a very fast car. The smell of sewage and rot also grew stronger. Squall didn't look away from Ultimecia's image, but he expanded his senses to look for Eden's presence.

"You're smiling now," Ultimecia's voice reverberated, cutting right into Squall's soul. "We'll see how you feel in a moment, little Griever." Ultimecia's spectral form moved and put her transparent hands on the kneeling Luchia's shoulders.

Squall got an ugly sense of déjà vu as he watched his former SeeD comrade rise to her feet. Looking at Luchia's angular, coldly beautiful face now made Squall taste bile. He'd gone to school with Luchia for a while, but they'd never been friends. She was so impassive, so impersonal and unemotional. So cold and unloving, and right now looking eerily familiar. The hands slid into Luchia's shoulders, merging with them, and Luchia's body seemed to be filled with light.

It was the first time that Squall had seen fear flicker in Luchia's electric blue eyes. He found it vindictively pleasurable. Ultimecia's hands dipped further into Luchia's body, now up to the elbows, and Luchia started screaming. Squall was unmoved as he listened to the hellish noise of her agony. It wasn't even close to what she deserved for her hand in what happened to Seifer. Is this how Seifer screamed? _Keep screaming, bitch_.

Squall held onto his bitterness, because it was better than the fear. Luchia kept screaming, magic being pushed into her torturously. The pain and stress on her aura caused her auburn hair to turn silver. The future projection of Ultimecia disappeared completely into Luchia, whose veins seemed bright blue against her pale skin. They bulged and rippled as too much magic was pushed into Luchia's body. She sunk to her knees without the spectral Sorceress to hold her up. She clawed at herself, her feet in her suede boots arching and flexing as she writhed on the ground. Her feet split out of the boots, now avian-like clawed things. Her fingers elongated, her nails fusing into the flesh and becoming claws which ripped at her flesh where she scratched at it.

The smell of rotten flowers grew stronger as Eden finally appeared, smiling its toothy grin with saliva bridging between the rusty nails that made up its teeth. Eden made almost a cooing sound and roiled around Luchia, half-forming into her human female form, half remaining in her black miasma of black, formless magic. When Eden's hands touched Luchia, she made an inhuman wail that echoed through the winery, which looked more and more like Ultimecia's castle now. Squall could even feel the cold air that had wafted from the future sea. He could hear the chains that had tethered Ultimecia's lair to the continent.

Squall gripped Lionheart's hilt tighter as coloured ink flowed against Luchia's visible skin. Eden looked up at Squall and hissed. Its form expanded towards him like a cresting tsunami, black and terrifying. He threw up a magical shield, but he may as well have just held up a piece of paper for all the good it did. The magical shockwave blew Squall backwards. He crashed into a wine cask, Lionheart flying out of his hand upon impact. Sharp pain radiated from his newly healed ribs when they took a large part of the impact. He tried not to show it, but a grunt of pain escaped him nonetheless. But it couldn't be heard over Luchia's screaming. Eden, however, heard it. Its nail-filled mouth split open in a pleasured grin. Much of her black miasma stayed around the wailing Luchia, but some started slithering towards Squall. He tasted vomit from Eden's sewage stench, and from the pain in his ribs.

He tried to struggle to his feet as the smoky tendrils moved towards him, but he spit up blood on his chest, his ribs definitely broken again. Tiernan was going to be so angry. As Eden's power moved to claim him, with Squall able to do fuck all about it, a blazing trail of matter moved between them and caused Eden to rear back and make a bone-chilling snarling noise. Squall was hit with the distinct aroma of machine oil and powerful toxins. He also felt the tingle of Shiva's energy returning to him. There had been a GF barrier set upon the old winery, and Squall wondered what caused the changed.

The streaming mass slowed enough that Squall saw the locomotive form of Doomtrain blocking him from Eden's attacks. They hissed at each other, and the stench of poison and rot grew so thick that Squall could taste it. He also felt the soothing warmth of healing magic being pressed into him by a tiny hand. With surprising strength for someone so petite, Selphie hoisted Squall to his feet.

"You okay?" She asked.

"What are you doing here?" He demanded. "How'd Doomtrain get past the barrier?"

Selphie put her hand to Squall's ribs again, pushing more magic into him. Because she was so strong with healing magic, she could often sense where injuries were before the person needed to tell her. "Irvine. Him and Fujin are in now. I could teleport in early because of Doomtrain. Looks like you needed the help!" She exclaimed as she thrust up a magical barrier against one of Eden's tendrils. "And don't worry. Seifer's being looked after."

Squall quickly scrambled for Lionheart, and called Shiva to him. Her cold presence calmed him, and she joined Doomtrain in trying to face off Eden. Squall tried not to think of Selphie's betrayal of their friendship at a time like this. In the distance, he heard gunfire, and the screech of a monster.

Luchia had stopped screaming, and both Selphie and Squall made a wide circle around Eden to try and get to her position. "What's happening?" Selphie demanded as a monster seemed to materialize from thin air, at least to her. To Squall and his heightened spiritual sense, he knew it came from Ultimecia's palace in the future.

"Some sort of... time spectre," Squall explained tersely as he cut through a mechanized sentry. The ground vibrated under their feet, and the winery started to shimmer around them. Even Selphie noticed it now, and her emerald green eyes widened in alarm when she caught a glimpse of Ultimecia's castle. "She used Azabaashe to bring her Eden, which gave her enough power to bring herself into our timescape. And she merged with Luchia."

At the mention of her name, Luchia let out a pained chuckle. Her now clawed hands dug at the floor as she struggled to right herself. Her formerly auburn hair had fallen out of its bun, and the now silver locks tumbled around her face. She still looked like Luchia, but now she definitely also looked like the Ultimecia that Squall and Selphie had first met, sitting on her throne and glaring at them with burning amber eyes, hourglasses for pupils. Those same eyes glared out at them now, in the present, from Luchia's face.

"We could debate whether this is a chicken or egg situation," Luchia said, her voice resonating now that she had Ultimecia within her. "But I think I'd rather just kill you before you can destroy me in the future."

"She just passed on her powers!" Selphie exclaimed in shock. "But Luchia's not a Sorceress..."

Squall grit his teeth and didn't reply. Luchia smirked at them, and he wondered how he'd never noticed Luchia's face before, why it had never clicked. True that the coloured tattoos and the different hair and eyes made her look different, but this was Ultimecia's face, no question. She'd been under his nose the whole time.

"Oh, your mind is trying to click it all in place, huh?" Luchia asked. Her voice didn't have the affected accent of future Ultimecia. It must have been something she picked up over time. "Maybe I only came back to take this body because you destroyed mine in the future. Perhaps Luchia is just an ancestor of mine. Perhaps she was always me. Time is fickle like that."

"Shut up," Squall hissed, hating her so fucking much. He rushed towards her, casting magic while he sliced at her with Lionheart. He wasn't nearly the swordsman he'd been back at his peak, but Ultimecia was also slow in her new body, so the magic caused her to stumble back, but she regained herself in time to avoid being dismembered. She must have sensed that she wasn't strong enough yet to fight Squall head-on, so Luchia, now Ultimecia, retreated and called forth one of her future, monstrous sentries - the Red Giant. Its large red bulk blocked her from Squall's view, and he had to jump backwards to avoid losing his head. The pain from the quick motion made him throw up in his mouth.

"This is pretty bad, huh?" Selphie asked, snapping out her nunchaku. She grinned wickedly. "My favourite kinds of odds."

Seifer looked up in surprise when the driver's side of the truck opened. He hoped to Hyne that Squall would shimmy in beside him and look kind of sheepish about wandering off so stupidly, and Seifer would be able to give him a really hard time about it. His mood sank when it wasn't his boyfriend, and the mood got even lower when he saw it was Zell Dincht.

"Um... 'sup, Seifer?" Zell asked awkwardly, giving a small little wave. "Irvine called me and Selphie after you called him for help," he said quickly after a long silence. "He told me to guard you or he'd kill me. He sounded pretty serious about it. Though, I think I'd be more worried about Squall. Irvine would just shoot me in the head if you got hurt again, but Squall would totally make it hurt," Zell rambled nervously.

Seifer just continued to stare at him.

"I guess you got your eyesight back, huh? That's pretty wicked" Zell looked into Seifer's eyes, but only briefly. His cheeks reddened, and he could only imagine what the taller blonde was thinking. Zell knew exactly what was going through his _own_ mind, though. His eyes kept looking to Seifer's scars, and he knew he'd thrown away his childhood friends for Xu. He'd fucked the woman who orchestrated Seifer's torture. He'd fucked the woman who ruined Quistis's life.

"Aren't you going to yell at me?" Zell asked desperately, hating the silence on Seifer's end. He looked like a repaired statue, utterly handsome and cold with the crack marks where he'd been put back together. He didn't even blink. "Aren't you going to call me Chicken-Wuss and make fun of my hair, my height, my clothing sense or how I like hot dogs? Aren't you going to say something like 'I asked Irvine to send competent help'," he said, doing a pretty serviceable Seifer Almasy impression.

Again, silence.

"I'm sorry, okay?" Zell exclaimed desperately. He hated silence, especially from Seifer. He was more comfortable with even Squall's epic silences. "I shouldn't have trusted Xu over you guys. But I never thought she'd act that way to people she claimed to care about." Zell turned away because he didn't want Seifer to see the tears welling in his eyes. "I thought I loved her." He may have tried to hide the tears, but his voice gave him away. "I thought she loved me. I guess she only loves power." Zell wiped at his eyes, not able to hide the big snotty sniffle he let out.

He turned to Seifer, who still stared stone-faced at him. Even the fluffy moogle in Seifer's lap seemed quiet and distant. "We aren't the best of friends, and Hyne knows I wished harm on you hundreds of times, but not like this. I never wanted anything like this to happen to you." Zell was surprised at how much he meant that. No matter how much Seifer bullied him, he was still part of Matron's 'family'. "Goddammit, Seifer! Say something!"

"I like watching you paint yourself into a corner, Dincht."

Zell made an annoyed noise in the back of his throat, hands balling into fists. But his angry expression softened at the edges. Seifer had actually said that with a great measure of affection. It was quite disarming. "Can you forgive me?" Zell asked quietly, avoiding looking into Seifer's face when he said it.

"Only if you forgive me."

Zell did look up this time and saw humility in Seifer's eyes. He briefly wondered if Astor had lobotomized him somehow, but he supposed that you didn't go through that kind of torturous experience without taking stock of yourself. "We've never been best friends, but I never wished that on you."

"I know."

Zell looked away, then looked back. "You think... you think that Squall will ever forgive me?"

Seifer's eyes remained careful, guarded. "I don't know."

"Yes you do. Don't you and Squall have some kind of crazy mental connection?"

"We're not psychic, if that's what you mean," Seifer replied with a measure of his old taunting venom.

Zell opened his mouth to give back a scathing reply, but a loud explosion drowned out his voice and caused the ground to shake. Ifrit disjunctioned and raced forward to join Bahamut and Odin in watching the perimeter of the old winery. The air seemed displaced, then a giant dragon appeared out of nowhere. Serino let out a small peep of dismay.

"Shit, where'd that come from?" Zell asked as Ifrit sped across the windswept Abadan Plains.

Seifer didn't answer, but his heart was in his throat as he stared at Ifrit, Bahamut and Odin circling around Tiamat. If Tiamat was here, then Ultimecia... Seifer tasted bile. _Oh Kitten, what's going on in there?_ He'd spent a lot of time and therapy trying to get over Ultimecia, and he had, but it was very tenuous. If she was in there, he didn't know how he'd react. It didn't make things easier to see that Bahamut, Ifrit and Odin were having a heck of a time against Tiamat's immediate Dark Flare attack. Because Tiamat was from the future and the she-dragon bent space and time, Odin's deathly powers were ineffective against her. He was still a superb swordsman, but the battle would be more intense.

"Shit..." Zell hissed under his breath. "Ifrit just told me that he lost Shiva's signature."

Seifer's heart leapt into his throat, and he opened the door of the truck and started to manipulate his leg to get out.

"Whoa, man!" Zell put a very strong hand on Seifer's shoulder and pinned him back against the seat. "I can't let you do that."

"Fuck you, Chicken-Wuss. Squall needs me."

Zell ignored the dreaded nickname. "Squall needs you to stay here and be safe. You can't fight. You can't even get out of a truck with a high cab."

Seifer glowered at Zell, hating that the shorter man was right. Hating that Squall was in there, possibly facing down Ultimecia. And Luchia would have Eden, too.

"Eden" Seifer trailed off.

"Yeah, Luchia stole it. So, you're thinking if Tiamat's here, then Ulti well, you know. You think _she's_ here, too?"

Seifer was ignoring Zell, thoughts racing through his head with all the confusion of a nervous Cactuar. He thought of Eden, a thought growing in his head. Even before the idea completely formed, he was reaching into his pocket for his cell-phone, touching the screen to power it up, his fingers moving of their own accord.

In Esthar, Quistis and Jurgen were enjoying a quiet lunch together in the hospital cafeteria. He was allowed to leave his room, which he liked to do frequently because he was a very active man, but he wasn't really well enough yet to leave the hospital itself. The food was pretty bland, but the conversation was so stimulating that she didn't even notice the tasteless gravy over her meatloaf.

She and Jurgen were talking about various schools of magical theory when she let out a surprised little noise, feeling her cell vibrating in the left pocket of her pale pink hoodie. She grinned and held up a finger when she saw it was a call from Seifer.

"Hi, honey," she greeted when she picked up. "Where are you? You should come to the hospital cafeteria." She really wanted Seifer to officially meet Jurgen. The man across from her said nothing, but a look of worry passed across his lovely silver eyes, like he was being asked to meet a stern, imposing father. She ran the toe of her sneaker up the inner line of his calf. "I have some good news."

"That's nice, sweetie, but I have really bad news. Don't visually react to what I'm going to tell you."

Quistis's brow furrowed. "Why?"

"There's some trouble."

"It always seems to find you," Quistis said carefully. Obviously, Jurgen noticed something was wrong, but didn't react, bless him. It made Quistis even more confident in her choice to pursue him.

"Squall and I are out on the Abadan Plains. Something mental's going on with time, Quisty. Monsters from Ultimecia's castle are coming out around the old Penhorn Winery."

Quistis opened her mouth, but swallowed her response. She'd been about to shout some sort of horrid exclamation when Seifer mentioned Ultimecia's name. "I'll be there as soon as I can."

"No!" Seifer exclaimed before Quistis could hang up. "I need your brain right now. Would Garden have put any kind of sanctions on Eden?"

"Sanctions?" Quistis asked, gesturing for Jurgen to get up and follow her out of the cafeteria. "Like what?"

"I know that Garden like to put some sort of restraints on the GF that they capture. Like how they do with Ifrit so they can train SeeD candidates."

"Well yes, but no offence to Ifrit... Eden is a far more powerful Guardian Force, and it was man-made," Quistis pointed out when she found a quiet alcove.

"You can't tell me that Xu wouldn't have been paranoid enough not to put some sort of restraint on that thing."

In the car beside Seifer, Zell flinched at the exact same time that Quistis did in the Palace hospital at the mention of Xu's name.

"I suppose she could have..." Quistis trailed off. "Why?"

"Luchia stole Eden from Xu, right? I think she brought it here, and if these monsters from Ultimecia's castle are showing up, then some serious magical shit is happening, and Squall's in the fucking middle of it. I won't lose him. Not to Ultimecia."

Quistis briefly realized that Seifer had said Ultimecia's name several times without freaking out. "You think she might have used Eden's power to get stronger?"

"Maybe," Seifer said shortly. "Can you still get into Garden's computer systems? Can you see if there's record that she did anything?"

"Xu might not have documented it, Seifer. I would try if I weren't stuck here in Esthar. Last time I checked, I can't teleport."

"Get Rinoa to do it," Seifer said. She heard the fear in his voice. "Chicken-Wuss said that Ifrit lost the feeling of Shiva's aura..."

Quistis's heart fell into her stomach. What if Squall...? "I'll see what I can do." She hung up the phone and looked at Jurgen in mounting horror.

"What do you need?" He asked. Not 'is there anything wrong?' or 'Did something happen?'. Jurgen knew the look on her face.

"I need to access Garden databases to see if any restraints were put on Eden."

"Follow me," Jurgen said briskly, though his silver eyes darkened to gunmetal at the mention of the word Eden. "We can probably do it remotely from here."

"Your computers can hack into Garden's magical databases?" Quistis asked with an arched eyebrow.

"This _is_ Esthar."

"How long has this been going on?" She asked a little incredulously. She then shook her head. "Never mind. I've got more important things to worry about." She felt a momentary thrill as Jurgen took her hand and led her towards a telepod station, but ignored it in the face of the mounting terror inside her. "How in the hell did Ultimecia come back, anyway?" She asked under her breath as she and Jurgen rode a telepod somewhere within the Palace. He seemed to know where he was going, so she let him lead.

"Some sort of time loop?" Jurgen guessed. "Just because you killed her the first time doesn't mean that she couldn't manipulate time in the same way, just picking a time slightly before she'd come here the first time."

"Don't remind me," Quistis muttered. A dark thought gnawed at her stomach. "I know my way around Garden files, and GF power dampening can be activated remotely, but... I don't know what Xu did to the system when she got into the Headmaster's office. She was paranoid enough to try and get me and Squall killed, so Hyne knows what she did to the system."

Jurgen said nothing and led her into a room with a small number of computer bays, none of them occupied. He left the chair for her and bowed over the keyboard, quickly inputting some numbers to log in. Quistis noticed that he held his hands in just a way that she wouldn't see exactly what he'd typed in.

"I would hide my keystrokes from you, but you already know how to get into Garden's system, huh?" She asked, a little sardonically.

He just grinned tightly, his silver eyes twinkling just a little, like distant stars bringing cold light from millions of light years away, mysterious in their beauty.

As Quistis began her task, fingers flying over the keyboard, emitting clacking so fast it resembled a machine gun, her heart sank. She slid deftly through folders and magical databases, all of this so familiar. As she did this, she opened up the document database, and multitasked between trying to hack into the servers and filling out the document. She realized, even through all the frustration and strain, that she did miss Garden, after all. But each time she was rejected in her search parameters for Eden, she got more of a dark feeling. When she found Eden's data and started to try and access it, it was like a jigsaw puzzle was being completed in her mind. Each new piece brought an image forward that she didn't want to see. Each time Garden's mainframes kicked her out, it hammered home the dark idea that grew in her by the second. That this was an impossible task. That there was only one way she was going to be able to stop Eden.

"Fuck." Quistis slammed her fingers against the home row keys in frustration and fear. "It's no good." She printed out the formal document she'd been working on, glaring daggers at it as if it were the cause of her failure to hack into the servers.

Jurgen looked at her profile as she lifted her glasses away from her cobalt eyes and rubbed the bridge of her nose. He saw the tension in her shoulders and the growing paleness of her complexion. "Even by air, it would take us twenty minutes to gas up a craft to get to Fisherman's Horizon," he pointed out grimly.

Quistis looked at her new boyfriend out the corner of her eye, impressed that his mind went to the same awful place hers did.

"You think that Nida will know anything?"

"No," Quistis said darkly, reaching into the pouch pocket of her pink hoodie again, pulling out her cell phone. She didn't know if it was a good sign or not that there were no new messages from Seifer. She started searching through her contacts. "Xu would never tell Nida that, not even in the fucked-up wonderland she thought their romance was." Her fingers flew over the touch-screen keyboard.

"So, what then? I don't know if I can get a craft this quickly, and the light train will take a while, too."

"I have faster means of transportation." She only prayed that this method hadn't turned her cell phone off. She put the phone down beside the keyboard and waited, closing her eyes. She really hoped that she'd only have to see Xu at hearings, and then never again. If she had to go and ask her for a _favour..._ Hyne, this was going to be brutal. The idea made Quistis want to throw up.

With her eyes still closed, she reached out a shaking hand for Jurgen, wanting to feel the warmth of his touch. When his fingers closed around hers, she concentrated on the strength in his fingers, tethering her to something good. The idea of seeing Xu made her think of Evan Phaighn, and all the humiliation Quistis had suffered. The laughing, the whispers behind her back, the accusation in her friends' eyes as they abandoned her, the growing chasm between her and Nida, the destruction of her career, her reputation, her life. She thought about Seifer and Squall, facing Hyne-knew-what out there. What if they'd survived all this bullshit, and Ultimecia...

Quistis opened her eyes when her phone beeped. She didn't let go of Jurgen's hand as she reached for it, checking the message. '_I'll be right there._' She sighed in relief, or what little relief she could find in this situation. Jurgen's other hand lightly ran through her loose ponytail, and she felt a stinging behind her eyes. She pulled their joined hands close to her face and rubbed her cheek against the back of his hand, affection warring with fear for Squall and Seifer. Couldn't they just be happy? Couldn't they just live in quiet and peace for even a few damned weeks? Couldn't the world just let them be?

"Quistis?"

The blonde looked up when she heard Rinoa's voice calling for her.

"Quistis? I feel her aura near here..."

"In here," she called.

"Quistis!" Rinoa exclaimed, the sound of her running footsteps announcing her. "I heard her in here... Oh!" Rinoa came into the room in a flurry. "What happened?"

"I don't know," Quistis answered. "I only know what Seifer told me, and he wouldn't pull my leg. Well, not about something like this." Quistis briefly noted, with raised eyebrows of surprise, that Rinoa looked like she'd dressed in a hurry. Her normally sleek black hair was mussed and flattened on one side, and she wore a very large hooded sweatshirt with the logo of some death metal band on the front. The sleeves hung well past her hands, and it made her look like a kid playing dress-up. Or a girl wearing her boyfriend's sweater. The obvious owner of the sweatshirt stood beside her, in the same sort of wardrobe disarray. Raijin's sweater was on inside out. On his left foot he wore a black cross-trainer, and on the left foot he wore a bright red canvas high top. They both had the air of people who'd recently been having sex.

"Jurgen!" Rinoa exclaimed, a grin spreading across her heart-shaped face. She opened her mouth to start gushing that she and Quistis both had interesting romantic news to talk about, but stopped herself. Now was _so_ not the time.

"Is Seifer okay, ya know!" Raijin asked.

"I don't know," Quistis answered sadly. "I think he's being kept out of things, but Squall" She trailed off helplessly.

Raijin pulled out his phone immediately and started dialling as Rinoa crouched beside Quistis's chair. "How would she get here?"

"Time loop or something," Quistis guessed. "Rinoa, I need you to teleport me to Fisherman's Horizon."

"What...?" Comprehension dawned in her eyes. "No. Quistis, no. Why would you need to go see Xu?"

"Eden. She knows how to control its power."

"She's not going to help you, Quisty..."

"I have to try. If Ultimecia gets Eden..."

Rinoa blanched. She looked over her shoulder at Raijin, who looked just as pale as he lowered his cell phone. There was no answer on Seifer's end. "Quistis."

"Rinoa." It was such a sharp, quick utterance of her name. She'd gotten used to having military people around her and have them say it like that. How they didn't mean to be rude, but there was no time for pleasantries. Rinoa had always resented it in her father, and Hyne knew that she'd scratch Raijin silly if he ever said her name like that, but now she understood it a little more. "Please."

"I still object to this, okay?" Rinoa whispered, trying to wrestle against the tears she felt pressing against the backs of her eyes.

"I do, too." Quistis then waited expectantly for Rinoa, who stared back at the other young woman a few moments longer to see if she'd change her mind. Rinoa _prayed_ that Quistis would change her mind. When it didn't look like that was ever going to happen, she started to slowly call magic into her.

She felt Raijin's hand come down on her shoulder, so gentle and warm. The touch thrilled her, and briefly filled her mind with falling asleep in Raijin's arms only a few hours before. She'd never just jumped into bed with a man, not even Squall, but it just felt right with Raijin. Rinoa pushed these thoughts out of her mind and concentrated on magic, on getting to Fisherman's Horizon. It was easy to travel to Fisherman's Horizon with four people. Even six months ago, it would have seemed impossible, but now it was like breathing. Her magic was part of her now.

Quistis furrowed her brow against the feeling of Rinoa's magic prickling into her, like she'd walked through a cloud of mosquitoes. She closed her eyes and reached out for Jurgen's hand, grasping empty air until his hand found hers. She squeezed it tightly as Rinoa's magic pushed fully into her and transported her away from Esthar towards Fisherman's Horizon, and Xu.

When the prickling buzz receded, Quistis kept her eyes closed. She heard the sloshing of water against bridge supports, and the high-pitched caw of seagulls mingling with buoys dinging and machinery in the distance. She stupidly wished that she could just keep her eyes closed, and she'd be back in Balamb Town, not having to face the woman who ruined her life. Back in Balamb... where she had no life. Where she'd life as she did now - still at odds with society's view of her. She'd still have no home, no Garden, and Xu would still be sitting here in Fisherman's Horizon, gloating over the fact that she'd ruined Quistis's life.

She opened her eyes and saw the other three looking at her with concern. It steeled her resolve. It made her think of how Seifer and Squall wouldn't look at her like that. It made her think of how they were in possibly fatal danger right now. Her fear about having to look in to Xu's eyes was nothing compared to that. How could she look into _anyone's_ eyes if she didn't go in to face down Xu?

"We can't go in, ya know!" Raijin said quietly. "Cause we're not SeeD and all. You want us to wait here?"

"There's a small coffee shop down the street. You should go there. I don't know how long I'll be."

Rinoa stepped forward to say something as Quistis squared her shoulders and started striding confidently towards the Garden facility, but really couldn't think of anything to say. Jurgen followed behind her, not speaking.

Raijin put a hand on Rinoa's shoulder. "She'll be okay, ya know! Instructor Trepe is tough."

"I know," Rinoa whispered. "Sometimes the toughest ones feel it the deepest," she added. That was something she'd always thought of Squall - that he felt things more acutely than others, and that's why he always built those walls around himself. He and Quistis really were alike. Maybe it's why she'd believed for so long that there was something going on between them.

She smiled sadly, not wanting to think about her past relationship with Squall, especially not when she had something new and great with the man standing beside her, looking at Quistis's receding figure with concern.

"I totally know that. You think Seifer's the heartless asshole he projects?"

"You think they're okay?" She asked, covering Raijin's hand with her own. Her hand felt so small compared to his. She may not have wanted to think about her past relationship with Squall, but she was still concerned about his safety. He and Seifer just couldn't seem to find peace and happiness.

"I know it, ya know!" Raijin said confidently. So confidently, in fact, that Rinoa turned her head and looked up at him. He had a sure grin on his face. "I know it." He looked at her for a few moments, his eyes holding personal things. "You look cute in my sweatshirt. It's way too big, ya know!"

"It smells nice," she whispered, sighing as he kissed the top of her head.

"You should go to the coffee shop with Raijin and Rinoa," Quistis said to Jurgen without turning around to face him. She could _feel_ his eyes on her back.

"I'm fine where I am."

"You can't come in."

"I know."

Quistis sighed, still not looking at him. She didn't want to, because then her resolve would falter. She wouldn't have to want to face her old life, and wouldn't want to have to think of it colliding with this life. She was ready to move on with Jurgen. But she knew she had to do this. She reached into her pocked and pulled out her phone. "Promise that you'll..." She didn't know how to form the awful thoughts into words.

"I'm sure Seifer and Squall are fine."

"Depends on your definition of the word." She walked towards the SeeD facility, feeling her scalp crawl. The SeeD on duty started upon seeing her, but then quickly saluted her. It seemed like a big joke - people wearing these same uniforms were hunting her down like a rabid dragon only a couple of months earlier. She didn't return the salute.

"I need to see Xu," Quistis demanded quietly of the young cadet working the administration desk within the facility. The building felt cold, and Quistis instinctively sniffed the air, wondering if the smell of Astor's blood still hung there. "And," Quistis added when she saw the young girl open her mouth to begin reaming off a list of protocols that Quistis was intensely familiar with. Hyne, she'd written half of them. This young face reminded her of all the students she'd taught in her brief tenure as Instructor. She felt a sudden, and rather surprising, pang of melancholy and longing. She actually missed teaching. The one thing that Xu _hadn't_ taken away from her.

"And I don't care about getting official documentation from the Headmaster. Xu killed the real Headmaster. I don't care about Xu's legal rights - she's a prisoner of Garden and I'm a senior officer who, as of yet, has not been dismissed of her duties. You will give me the papers to sign, and I will see Xu."

The young cadet snapped her mouth shut. "Yes, ma'am." She pushed the clipboard towards Quistis, keeping her eyes downcast, but sneaking looks up at the infamous Quistis Trepe. She looked imposing and her eyes didn't broker argument.

Quistis signed her name without care and ushered to one of the other SeeD in the room that she was ready to proceed. In fact, it was one of her former students.

"Congratulations on graduating, Brahva," she said quietly as he led her through the facility's halls towards Xu's holding cell. "You must have improved your magical mathematics grades."

"Yes, Ma'am," he answered nervously, trying not to stare at her in the same way that the administrative clerk had tried. Quistis tried not to notice, but it was impossible. It made her wonder if other SeeD would always look at her, and Squall and Seifer, with that measure of fear, if they would be hounded by questions about how it felt to survive in the wilds and have everyone against them, either not noticing or not caring that they were opening up bad wounds. It made it hard to think of coming back to Garden anytime soon, even though she knew she had to.

When they arrived outside the outer door that would lead towards Xu's segregated cell, Quistis pushed all thoughts out of her head, aside from the task at hand. Xu knew here well enough to read her face, and she didn't want to give her former friend any weapons. Her one-time student opened the outer door for her, and she entered the silent antechamber.

"Leave us, please," Quistis instructed of the inner guard. Upon hearing the voice through the intercom, Xu's head snapped up. She briefly had a frightened look on her face, like she'd seen a ghost, but it disappeared quickly, until no emotion remained. A cold mask that gave away nothing.

"Yes, Ma'am." The SeeD saluted and quickly exited, leaving Quistis looking through the plexiglass that separated her from Xu. Quistis swallowed back rage, glad the barrier was between them. If they'd been bars instead, she would have reached through them to break the other woman's neck.

"To what do I owe this honor?" Xu asked. She looked cold and impassive, but her voice had an undercurrent of nervousness.

Quistis couldn't help the vindictive smile. _Strength, Quisty. Think of Squall and Seifer_. "You look surprised to see me. You thought I'd never come to look down my nose at you?" Quistis felt proud that she sounded a lot calmer than Xu did. Far cry from how she felt on the inside. "Maybe you could have escaped all this if Luchia hadn't screwed you over and stolen Eden."

Xu's brow furrowed. She didn't know where Quistis was going with this line of conversation. "How's Nida?" She asked, trying to throw Quistis off-balance.

"Addicted to heroin, thanks to you," the blonde answered stiffly. "If this is the way you treat people you claim to love, well... I would say I'd hate to see how you treat your enemies, but I saw the after-effects on Seifer's body."

Xu grinned wolfishly, and Quistis's eyes went nearly black with rage. "Why are you here?"

"Did you know you did it all for nothing?"

"Did what?"

"I was planning to refuse the seat of Headmaster. And Squall would have rather eaten glass than take the responsibility. I also never would have dated Nida. So, you're here for nothing."

"You have Nida now, though," Xu said bitterly.

"What kind of protections did you put on Eden?"

"Why?" Xu asked. "Ah. Is this the real reason you're here? Does precious little golden girl Quisty want something from her second banana?"

"Did you put some kind of restraint on Eden's powers?"

"Not until you tell me why."

"Will you give me an answer?"

"Of course."

"I know now how much of a fucking liar you are," Quistis said conversationally, reaching into her pocket and pulling out the rolled up document she'd been working on while trying to get into Garden's servers. "Here's a writ from the court, stating that your sentence will be lessened if you give up any information about Eden and how to gain control of it."

"Why?" Xu demanded, her eyes briefly flickering down to the white parchment in Quistis's lap with its official-looking seals.

"Your pal Luchia is now controlling that thing, and it's a bit of a mess."

"Hmmm." Xu cracked a grin. "Meaning that it's a mess for who? Squall and Seifer? You would have come in a more official capacity, surrounded by a team of SeeD and lawyers if it weren't them, and if you weren't up against some sort of clock." She leaned back in the cheap plastic chair she sat in.

"Indeed," Quistis said sharply. "Yes, Squall and Seifer are in trouble."

"Let them die." Xu spread her hands out. "What do I care? I tried to kill you all already. I ruined my life trying to do it. Why should it upset me if Luchia's going to use Eden to do it for me?"

"This writ is timed, Xu." Quistis held the document up to the glass so Xu could read it and see the stipulation that Xu had fifteen minutes to give up information, or else the immunity would expire. "You know as well as I do how dangerous Eden is. That's why I'm so desperate." She remained calm, but even talking about Eden's dangers made Quistis's stomach knot painfully. What if Squall and Seifer were already dead, and she was bargaining with this bitch who'd broken her heart for nothing?

"I notice it's not a full pardon..." Xu trailed off, crossing her legs casually. But Quistis didn't miss that she kept reading over the paper with desperate eyes. It made a trickle of sweat work its way down the nape of Quistis's neck.

"Of course its not. But a ten year term is better than a beheading. And Nida would still be alive, and available."

Xu's almond-shaped eyes narrowed to slits. "You're bargaining your precious boyfriend?"

"I already told you that he's not mine," Quistis said patiently. Hyne, how she wanted to look at her watch. "I have a new man. You could have had Nida all along. We could have still been friends. And now I'm extending you a courtesy out of a friendship that you pissed all over."

"And all I have to do is give you any information on Eden's magical restraints?"

"I know you, Xu. Well, I know most of you. I know you wouldn't have chanced junctioning Eden for so long without creating some sort of magical leash or icon item."

Xu looked at the contract again, and Quistis checked her watch. "Tick tock, Xu."

Silence.

"Okay." Quistis pulled the writ away from the window and began unfurling it.

"It's my zebra swallowtail." Xu said as Quistis stood to leave.

"Hmm?" Quistis tried not to show her hope.

"The icon item. It's my zebra swallowtail specimen. The one I had in my Garden office."

"It wasn't your office," Quistis said bitterly, though her heart soared. She only hoped she could get that damned shadowbox and butterfly before it was too late for Seifer and Squall. If either of them died because of Eden

"Give me that document."

"This?" Quistis held it tight in her fist, crumpling it. "Xu did you really forget that I'm pretty damned good at forging documents? Maybe it's something you should have considered."

"What?" The imprisoned woman demanded, standing so quickly that her uncomfortable plastic chair skidded out from under her and clattered against her metal bed frame.

Quistis laughed at the thunderstruck look on her face. "It's a fake, you stupid idiot. You think I would _ever_ bargain to get you out of here? After what you and Astor did to Seifer? I only wish that they would make you feel all that Seifer felt before they cut off your head."

"You bitch!" Xu shouted as Quistis began walking out of the antechamber.

"I loved you, you know" Quistis said over her shoulder. She knew it would be the very last thing she would ever say to Xu. The SeeD guard came and opened the door for her. When he closed the door behind it her, it shut away Xu's curses. It shut away a lifetime a friendship, burned and twisted under terrible ambition and jealousy.

"Thanks," she said quietly to the SeeD, tearing off in a run to find Rinoa. She didn't have to go far. Rinoa and Raijin had gone to the nearby coffee shop, but had come right back with paper cups in their hands, and an extra for Jurgen, who ignored it and stood like a sentry, waiting for Quistis to come back.

"Hey, here she comes, ya know!" Raijin exclaimed, rising from where he sat on a low fencepost.

Jurgen took large strides towards her, touching the side of her face. "I can see it went well," he said at the minor relief in her eyes.

She patted the hand on her cheek. "Rinoa, can you teleport me to Garden? She made one of her butterflies an icon item to control Eden's power."

Without any further questions, Rinoa called magic forth to her. As they teleported away, Quistis threw the fake, crumpled immunity document into the nearest gutter.

"Kiros, seriously. This is wayyyyyyy too much paperwork." Laguna's eyes felt like they were going to fall out as he looked at a new stack of forms that were unceremoniously plunked down on his desk.

"This is what you get for putting it all off until the last minute."

"Will you do it for me?" Laguna asked in his sweetest tone.

"No."

"I'll let you sleep with me."

"Still no."

Laguna groaned and opened the folder on the top of the pile. He started attacking the documents with an almost violent fervor, so much so that Kiros had to admonish him not to rip through the page.

"Sir, there is a visitor out in the waiting area for you," one of Laguna's pages announced.

"He's busy," Kiros said at the same time as Laguna said "oh, thank Hyne! Send them in."

"You have to do this paperwork," Kiros said sternly.

"I'll do it later."

Kiros bit back a torrent of curse words and just exhaled slowly, head tilting towards the ceiling.

"Excuse me, President Loire?" A female voice asked, sounding unsure. "I'm very sorry to interrupt you. You look busy." Her voice moved like velvet through the room, lightly accented with a Winhill dialect.

"Oh, that's no... prob... uh..." Laguna found he couldn't find words when he looked up at this beautiful, dark-haired woman. After a few moments of trying not to stare at her curvaceous body, he recognized her face as Vanessa Guillonio, the singer. Laguna had always had a thing for her - he loved dark hair, and the Winhill accent transported him to a happier time, a time with Raine.

Vanessa smiled shyly. "I'm in the city on business and wanted to surprise Squall with a visit, but he hasn't answered my messages. I was told he might be in here with you."

Even Kiros was a little star-struck, though for different reasons. He recovered himself quickly and offered his hand to her free one. Vanessa's other hand was occupied by holder the hand of her young daughter, Bianca. Bianca was a cute, chubby girl with big, expressive dark eyes and the same dark hair as her mother. "I'm Kiros Murphy-Seagill, Laguna's Vice-President."

"Buhh..." Laguna murmured, trying to stand, but his old leg cramps started acting up, so he had to lean on the desk. "Uh..."

"Squall's not here, though. We haven't seen him all day. Frankly, I've been keeping Laguna locked up in here so he'd do some work for once."

Vanessa grinned, looking down at Bianca when she whispered something under her breath. When Kiros's eyes met hers, the girl turned her face into her mother's leg, but stole peeks back up at him with an impish grin.

"Really? Do you know where he might be? I've missed talking to him." Truth be told, now that Vanessa was back in the public eye, she started to feel the desire to float away from it all on a drug binge. She had her counsellor on speed-dial, but she thought maybe it would help to see Squall, and see if he were succeeding in his war against addiction.

"How do you know him?" Kiros asked, shooting a disgusted look to Laguna, who still clutched at his desk and stared at Vanessa inappropriately. 'Very smooth', he mouthed at his old friend.

"We were at rehab together in Timber. Squall never mentioned it?"

"He doesn't talk much about that. He's rather private. And he'd never speak of anyone else who was there."

"I wouldn't have blamed him," Vanessa said, a tad bitterly. "Everyone in the world who reads a tabloid knows about it anyway. Oh, forgive me," she said, ruffling Bianca's hair, her eyes studying Laguna's open, handsome face. "This is my daughter, Bianca."

"Hi there!" Laguna said, finding his voice. He crouched in front of the girl. "Travelling with your mom?" He asked, more in his element while talking to children.

"She's singing," Bianca said quietly.

"Yeah. She's a really good singer, huh? You gonna be like her when you grow up?"

Bianca nodded eagerly. "I'm gonna be a singer. And an astronaut firefighter doctor."

"Wow, an astronaut firefighter doctor? That's a really important job."

"I'll heal all the aliens!"

As Laguna said "I've been to space, you know..." and Bianca gasped in pleasure and started asking him a million questions about space and if he'd ever met PuPu the alien, Vanessa frowned slightly at Kiros. "I'm sure it's nothing, but I can't reach his cell phone. I know last time I texted him, he said if I were in town, he wanted me to meet his boyfriend. Maybe he just doesn't want to be bothered, like people in new relationships tend to."

"They aren't exactly in a new relationship, but Squall's very... passionate under his cold exterior."

"He's not much like his father."

"Maybe not in mannerisms," Kiros noted affectionately.

"I have to admit, I used my star status to kind of push my way past the guards. I don't do that anymore, well... I used to a lot when I was 'unwell', but I really did want to meet President Loire. He's very charming on TV." She chuckled, eyes sliding over to Laguna and holding there for a few moments. "Though, maybe a little more eloquent."

"That's all an act. He has speechwriters."

"Huh?" Laguna looked up from telling Bianca about Ragnarok, using as many sound effects as possible. "You're saying bad things about me again."

"Mummy, he's been to space!" Bianca exclaimed.

"You really make it too easy. Oh, excuse me" Kiros reached into his pocket when he felt his phone vibrating against his hip. He stepped back from the other three to answer it. "Yes?"

Laguna looked up from his crouched position at Kiros, seeing that his easy smile got a frozen edge to it, making it look grotesque. His caramel complexion also paled until he looked ghastly, the glimmering eye makeup he often wore standing out in stark contrast.

Laguna gently stroked the top of Bianca's hair as he rose to his feet. "Kiros... what?"

"There's a distress call from the Penhorn winery"

Laguna's blood immediately went cold. He knew all about what survivors like Tiernan had suffered there at the hands of Azabaashe. What they'd lost.

"Laguna..." Kiros trailed off, sounding helpless and afraid. "Squall's there."

"Oh Hyne..." Vanessa put a hand to her mouth. "We won't detain you any longer. Come on, Bianca."

"But, Mummy...!"

"Honey, something really important came up, okay?"

"But, Mummy!" Bianca protested angrily.

"One of the aides will take you guys to a room here. Stay here, okay. They'll bring you anything you need, and I'll contact you when I can to tell you if Squall's okay." Laguna crouched before Bianca. "Sorry, munchkin. But I have a munchkin, too. He's a little older than you, and he's in trouble. When I come back, I'll tell you about the time I fought a dragon, though."

"A dragon!" Bianca breathed.

"Come on, sweetie." Vanessa nodded at them both and led Bianca out of the office.

"Dammit, Kiros..." Laguna breathed out when they were alone. "Danger just seems to follow that damn kid wherever he goes. What's happening?" He asked desperately after Kiros hung up. "Is he okay?' His voice broke on the last word.

"The watch tower got out there got a spike in magical energy. They began monitoring it, and then they got a distress call from Zell Dincht. Squall and Seifer were seeing leaving the city for that direction. According to the city border guard, it was just to look around at animals. You know how Seifer is." Kiros was still deathly pale. He knew what had happened out there from what Tiernan had told him over the years. He knew that sometimes in the middle of the night, his husband still woke up in cold sweats and would lay stiff and fearful for hours afterwards. Kiros also knew that ugly magic like that had a memory, and if there was something going on at that old site

"You gonna tell Tiernan?"

"Yes. I'd rather he found out from me."

"I'm goin' out there," Laguna said firmly, quickly going over to his desk. He unlocked the bottom drawer and pulled out his old, trusted machine gun. He looked up in shock when Kiros didn't immediately protest. "You're not gonna stop me?"

"Would anything I say matter?" He asked dully, cell phone pressed against his mouth.

"What you say always matters to me."

"Laguna..." Kiros trailed off with a minor eye roll. "You're so cheesy."

Laguna crossed the room, machine gun still in one hand. He put his free one on Kiros's shoulder, feeling the other man shaking. That frightened him more than anything. Kiros had always been his rock. Perfectly calm and unflappable even in horrible situations. The only thing that had kept Laguna from passing out in terror in the face of Adel had been looking at Kiros's stoic, calm profile. He admired that quality greatly in his best friend, just like he admired it in his son. Hopefully Squall was staying calm now, under the face of whatever trouble he was in.

"Eden's there, Laguna."

"I'm goin'."

Kiros just nodded, playing all kinds of awful descriptions over and over in his mind. He remembered every word Tiernan had ever told him about what Azabaashe had done in Penhorn. Tiernan had been lucky physically, and hadn't suffered some of the torture some of the other townspeople had, but the mental imprint... He'd never get over it.

"I'm coming with you. Get a ship ready, and I'll meet you after I talk to my husband."

"Okay." Laguna squeezed his shoulder. "Hurry though," he said sympathetically before running out of his office.

Kiros composed himself and followed, going for a different telepod than Laguna, briefly stopping to contact Ward on his cell phone. The trip to Tiernan's office, normally something that still gave his stomach a little flutter after all these years of marriage, filled him with nothing but dread. He found Tiernan behind his desk, catching up on the never-ending paperwork of a doctor.

Tiernan briefly looked up over the rims of his tortoiseshell bifocals. "Why are you just hovering there?" He asked with a grin, closing a folder and pulling another one towards him.

Kiros went to him, and Tiernan absently wrapped his arm around Kiros's thin waist and turned his face, kissing him on the stomach through his shirt. Tiernan felt the stiffness, and looked up. "What?"

"There's magical interference in Penhorn. Squall and Seifer are out there, and... Eden."

Tiernan's face went white, and he bunched the fabric of Kiros's shirt. "Eden?" He slowly let out his breath when Kiros didn't refute. The necromantic magic Azabaashe had done there would leave a magical ghost, and because of Eden's immense and bastardized power, it could trigger magical aftershocks that would bring back any dormant energy that had once raised the dead.

"What will you need to be able to help anyone we bring back with injury?" Kiros asked as Tiernan pressed his cheek against his stomach.

Tiernan took a few large breaths, remembering breathing exercises his psychiatrist had told him so long ago. He breathed in the cinnamon-musky smell of Kiros and felt Kiros's arms holding him, tethering him like an anchor. He felt Kiros breathing against his cheek, and concentrated on that - the feeling of his husband, living and breathing.

"Is Azabaashe... is... is h-he...?"

"I don't know."

"I won't go if you need me here, Tiernan."

"Laguna left, didn't he?"

"He can take care of himself."

Tiernan looked up from Kiros's belly and gave him a look.

"Yeah, okay. He can't."

"I don't want you to leave," Tiernan murmured, rubbing his hands up and down Kiros's hips. "But you have to." His lips, whitened with tension, set in a straight, determined line. "And, I can get what I need to treat anybody. Don't worry."

"Of course I'm going to worry."

Tiernan let Kiros's long, thin braids run between his fingers. "Go."

Kiros put his fingers under his husband's chin and tilted his face up, giving him a kiss. He felt Tiernan's body shaking slightly with tension. "I'll see you soon."

"Mmm," Tiernan mused distractedly, thinking about his parents. He tried to think of them as they'd been - smiling and hard-working, not crawling along the floor, ravenous and inhuman, catching former friends and neighbours to give them over to Azabaashe. He didn't want to picture their fingers, hard with rigor, tearing into the flesh of screaming family members. "I love you," he whispered into Kiros's stomach.

Kiros repeated the sentiment, kissing Tiernan's sweating temple. After leaving Tiernan's office and collecting some weapons, he ran to the nearest telepod. What would happen if he and Laguna found Squall and Seifer... _altered_, like the Estharian guards had found the citizens of Penhorn. It had taken twenty years for anyone to be held accountable, because Adel had sanctioned Azabaashe's necromantic experiments, and quite relished in them.

He was surprised to find Laguna actually waiting for him at the private telepod that would leave for the airport. But, Ward's massive, calm and silent presence behind the much shorter man might have had something to do with it.

"Tiernan okay?" Laguna asked as he stuffed a few extra magazines into the pockets of his slacks.

Ward, of course, didn't speak, but his eyes showed concern, crow's feet deepening with it.

"No."

"Squall's gonna be okay," Laguna assured. "It's not going to be a repeat of last time."

Kiros couldn't help but give his oldest friend a lopsided grin. Nothing could dim his positive outlook.

"You know..." Laguna began as they boarded the small airship that waited for them. "I really should stop trying to count the times I almost lost having Squall in my life - either from crazy-ass Sorceresses or through my own neglect and bad parenting..."

"Laguna" Kiros interrupted.

"Don't," he replied, as seriously as he'd said almost anything in his life.

"Well, at least you make Squall proud when you try to flirt with women."

"I was _not_ flirting with her!" Laguna protested seriously. "I was just surprised. It's not every day you meet a famous singer like Vanessa."

"You should go for it."

"Pssh." Laguna blew up into some loose locks of salt-and-pepper hair to get it out of his eyes. "So what, you think she liked me?" He hadn't been with a woman in a while, but he was pretty sure Raine would think it was okay, after all this time. She'd never been the kind to hold grudges. Neither was he, so he had no idea where Squall got it from.

When he thought of his son, a sharp pang attacked his stomach. What if...? No. Laguna had never been a pessimist. He wouldn't be one now. Squall and Seifer would be okay. Squall would admonish him for coming in to rescue, and bristle at Laguna throwing his arms around him. Panic ate away at him as they neared their destination. _Hyne, please protect him. I'm not exactly the most holy guy in the world, but I would really appreciate it._

"Laguna, whatever happens, you can't just jump in, guns blazing. You have not only a country that needs you, but a daughter, too."

"And, what about you?" Laguna asked quietly. "You think that people don't care if you're the one sacrificing yourself? You have a country that needs you, too. I can't run Esthar without you. Hell, Kiros. I can't run my _life_ without you. And Tiernan..."

"I'm a little more level-headed when I go into a battle than you are." Kiros said it seriously, but there was strain around his eyes. "And don't worry about Vanessa Guillonio. She couldn't take her eyes off you. Women never can. Quite a few men, too."

"Like you?" Laguna asked, trying to joke and not dwell on the fact he might just be going to pick up Squall's corpse. Ward raised his eyebrows and let out a breathy, quiet chuckle.

"Sir, we're approaching magical disturbance in the air. It may get a little turbulent," their pilot's voice said over the intercom.

Kiros lowered his sinewy body down in front of one of the terminals and looked through the ship's scopes at the scene ahead of them. "I see something in the distance, Laguna. A dragon..." Kiros narrowed his eyes. "Shit. Shit, shit, shit. Brace for impact."

"Wha? What's going on, Kiros? Don't start cursing like that. You know it gives me the heeb-" Laguna couldn't finish his rambling sentence because the airship was then blasted by the aftershock of what Kiros had been swearing about - Tiamat's dark flare. Kiros reacted instinctively, and leapt out of his terminal towards Laguna, using himself as a human shield to protect him from any injury from projectiles or broken glass. He felt something slice across his upper back, the sting instantaneous. He was then slammed into from behind, hard enough that it knocked the wind out of him in a painful shunt.

Warning bells and buzzers from the airships computerized systems blared in an annoying, deafening cacophony. Wind whipped around them from the cracks in the glass, and the pilot's voice shouted something at them over all the noise, but neither man could hear him. They slowed to a crawl, the airship limping towards landing. They were jostled and slammed, Kiros's elbow jamming into Laguna's side. He could hear his best friend's heartbeat slamming quickly and loudly against his ear, and then felt Ward's huge embrace around the both of them. The noise lessened, until they were only left with the whines and beeps of the airship's electronics, and the sound of Kiros's heartbeat.

"You okay?" Kiros asked.

"You're asking _me_?" Laguna asked, a little angry, and definitely a little frightened. He reached up and wiped some blood off Kiros's face. "You're hurt."

"I'm fine," Kiros rasped, slowly rising to his feet, panting heavily to get his air back. "Come on." Kiros pulled out his katal blades, and when his coat gaped open, Laguna saw more blades strapped to his lean chest. Leave it to Kiros to always be prepared. "You okay?" He asked Ward.

Their friend nodded, going to check on the pilot.

When they stepped out of the airship, the pilot and Ward staying behind to try and get the thing back up and running in case they needed a quick take-off, they immediately felt the dark power. The bastardization of space and time. Tiamat cast another dark flare, and the aftershock caused both Kiros and Laguna to stumble to their knees. Laguna swallowed back bile, and Kiros turned his head to retch, glad he hadn't eaten much that morning. Kiros immediately summoned Quetzacoatl to him, the thunder bird soaring towards Tiamat, who faced against Bahamut, Ifrit and Odin.

Laguna summoned Shiva, but the ice goddess didn't immediately go to follow her fellow Guardian Force. She stayed behind and regarded Laguna with sad, immortal eyes. "Ultimecia's in there with him," she told the father of one of her other masters. "He lost connection with me."

Laguna's heart stopped for a few beats. "Help the other GF, 'kay?" He found that rare spot of focus within him. He couldn't break down. Squall needed him. He couldn't get distracted. Ellone needed him. "Get Tiamat out of the way so we can get inside the building."

"No," Kiros said firmly. "There's no fucking way you're going in there." He started running towards the old winery.

"And it's okay if you do?" Laguna shouted. "Kiros!" He shouted at his retreating friend. "Well, you better come back in one piece, because Tiernan will blame me if you don't, and he knows how to do autopsies!" Laguna pulled out his machine gun. "Shit." He stumbled when there was another wave of black, unnatural magic from Tiamat. He felt Shiva take a blow from it, but kept going. He saw an Estharian truck sitting on the plain, and made his way towards it.

Inside the truck, Laguna found a very angry and tense looking Seifer, sitting with Serino in his lap, and Zell behind the wheel. Seifer kept checking his phone, but the magical interference blocked any kind of transmission.

"Laguna?" Zell exclaimed in surprise.

"Thank Hyne you're safe," Laguna breathed, leaning against the window as Seifer rolled it down. His tension was obvious in his pale, drawn face. His healing scars stood out in stark, red contrast. Laguna reached into the car and touched the side of Seifer's face affectionately, the same way he would with either Squall or Ellone. "You okay? Where's Squall? What's going on?"

"Can I answer the first question?" Seifer asked in a very passable homage to Kiros. "No, I'm not fucking okay, President Loire. Squall is in there alone, probably against Ultimecia, and that fucking asshole won't let me go to him."

"I'm sitting right here!" Zell huffed. "I don't give a fuck if you lose your leg, but Squall probably does, so you can stop being such a prick." He didn't mean it, but it was so hard to stay civil when Seifer was being a jerk.

"None of that President Loire stuff. It's Laguna, okay? And, did you try to use your dragon power on that thing?"

Seifer would have scoffed at the description of 'dragon power', but he'd been too shit-scared of the possibility of Ultimecia coming back, and if Squall was okay, that he hadn't thought of his dragoon blood at all. The shame of something so obvious made his cheeks colour in embarrassment.

"Don't feel bad. It's not like there's a ton of dragons around to make you remember. I do have good ideas sometimes."

Seifer stared up at Tiamat, a dark and bastardized version of Bahamut. Could he even try to communicate with a dragon from another time and plane?

"Listen, guys..." Laguna trailed off, looking uncharacteristically grim. "Some really bad shit happened in this area when Adel and Azabaashe were running things. That kind of magic..."

"It has a memory," Zell finished. "You think Ultimecia messing with time could disturb things? I mean, I read about the stuff... the experiments that Azabaashe and Adel were doing out here. Ultimecia's bending space-time could trigger a reverse replay. It's happened before. Back before Adel, in the third Deling-Esthar war."

"Hyne, just shut up," Seifer whispered, eyes closed. He tried to shut out all noise, especially Zell's inane blather. He tried to focus on Tiamat's energy. Now that he really paid attention to it, and focused beyond Bahamut's now familiar warmth and largesse, he felt her dark magic, but it was distant and muted. Was the she-dragon really here, or just a projection? Could Seifer reach her mind? He tried not to think that his mysterious, and by all counts amazing, mother could have probably done it easily. But he wasn't her. He was an orphaned, failed Knight with a bum leg and a failed military career. The feeling faded as he doubted himself. Instead of thinking about a mother he never knew, who seemed almost more of a heroic novel character than a real woman, he thought of Squall. His Kitten. The man who infuriated him like nobody else could. The man who made his heart skip and made him ache with joy. The man who could be dead right now.

Squall, I just want to go home with you. No more world-saving adventures. No more almost getting killed on a daily basis. No more fucking up my life with thinking I'm only good enough to be an assassin. No more fucking up your life with trying to be anybody but yourself. I want to have a boring life with you. I wanna dance with you someday. I want to catch you singing in the shower. I wanna marry you and get old and lazy and kiss you every night before bed.

Thinking of Squall, and a boring and ordinary life with him, gave Seifer focus. When Tiamat used her draconic magic, it was like a knife in his stomach, because it didn't feel _natural_. This was a dragon who'd been warped and corrupted through centuries of magical abuse, ruined under Ultimecia's tutelage. But, still a dragon nonetheless. He felt a kinship with Tiamat. Both licking at Ultimecia's bootheels, contorted to her whims until they were something unrecognizable to the thing they'd been before she ever got them in her bony clutches. Maybe Tiamat had gone willingly, just like Seifer.

Were you an outcast, too? Did you have lofty dreams of glory, Tiamat? Did you feel abandoned?

He asked. He felt a shudder, and knew that Tiamat had heard him, or felt his questions on some level. ___Did all your dreams turn into an awful nightmare?_

_What do you know of it? _A resonate voice vibrated in Seifer's skull.

"More than I'd like to," Seifer whispered, not even realizing he'd started talking out loud. However, he spoke so quietly that even Zell and Laguna didn't hear him. "I thought I was doing the right thing, being some fucking hero." He grinned at his own stupidity.

Zell and Laguna shared curious glances. Neither knew what they'd really expected. Fireworks? That Seifer would start speaking in some kind of other language and sprout scales and wings? He just kept whispering under his breath, the frown creasing his brow and his humourless grins showing discomfort with the subject matter. What they did notice, though, was a lessening of tension in the air.

Seifer remained silent for a while, waiting to see if Tiamat would respond again. _Have you ever lost someone you loved?_

"That's all my life seemed to be until recently."

He felt Tiamat's magic flare again, ugly and black. _She's my mistress..._

Seifer let out his breath like he'd been punched in the gut as Tiamat was assaulted by the combined magic of Odin, Ifrit, Shiva and Bahamut. He felt her pain through their connection, and saw a sheet of red over his vision.

"Seifer!" Laguna exclaimed, gripping the younger man's shoulder when he saw his eyes roll into the back of his head, whites visible under half-closed lids. He started sweating, and a trickle of blood ran from his left eye. "Seifer, stop! Stop doing... whatever!" He shook Seifer vigorously, concern mounting.

"Shit." Zell briefly closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He always liked punching Seifer Almasy, because the bastard usually deserved it, but he felt like a complete asshole when he slammed his fist into Seifer's bad knee.

Laguna gasped and jerked as Seifer let out a strangled scream, eyes fluttering. He bowed forward in pain, blinded by it. Laguna shot Zell a murderous glare and cast a light cure spell on Squall's boyfriend. "I'm shit with cure magic, but that should dull the pain."

Seifer panted, clutching his knee. It seared like Astor was breaking it all over again. He shot Zell a sidelong glare and quickly punched him in the cheek. Zell's head snapped to the side and he groaned in pain. He was glad he could take a punch, because Seifer always hit him like a wrecking ball. At least he wasn't at peak physical condition, so he'd only have a bruised face instead of a broken cheekbone.

"You okay?" Laguna asked, lightly rubbing circles on Seifer's back.

"Tiamat's not going to listen to me," Seifer ground out hoarsely.

"You tried your best."

Seifer looked up at Laguna. The words, coupled with the touch on his back... so, this is what it must have felt like to have a father. He probably should have been very envious of Squall and Ellone at that moment, for having Laguna as their father, for having _any_ father. But he wasn't. Because in that moment, it kind of felt like Laguna was his father, too.

Laguna cursed and immediately brought his gun up to a firing position when there was a quick flash of light near them. About fifty paces from the truck, a group of four people appeared, Rinoa in the center. Her translucent wings stood out in bright contrast, and left white spots in Seifer, Zell and Laguna's visions. Quistis and Jurgen immediately broke away and started running towards the winery building. She only briefly turned around, a flapping of blonde hair and a blur of the colour of her hoodie. They locked eyes for a heartbeat, and blew Seifer a kiss. Then she was gone, running straight away from him. Vanishing from him, just like Squall. Is this how they'd felt when he'd pushed them off that bluff in the Kashkabald?

"Seifer!" Raijin exclaimed, rushing towards the truck. He did a double-take when he saw Zell sitting behind the steering wheel, and his jovial face became dark and threatening.

"I don't mean any trouble, Raijin..." Zell murmured, putting his hands up in what he hoped was a passive gesture. He knew he could take Raijin in a fight - eventually. He'd get tired and banged up all to hell, though.

"You okay?" Rinoa asked, dipping her head into the car beside Laguna, peering closely at Seifer's face. "You look like you're in pain."

"Just my leg," Seifer ground out, glaring at Zell. "What are you doing here?"

Rinoa cast some quick healing magic on her teenage crush. "You should have seen Quistis..." She trailed off when the ground shook because of the GF battle. Alexander disjunctioned himself and joined the fray. "She was so clever!" Rinoa opened the truck door and shimmied into the cramped back seat. "She tricked Xu into revealing what she'd used as an icon item to control Eden."

Seifer's face broke into a wide grin. "I love a story that winds up with Xu being made an asshole of. But... can Eden even be controlled?" The fact that Rinoa was wearing a sweatshirt he'd seen Raijin wearing dozens of times wasn't lost on the blonde man. Neither was the fact that Raijin didn't remain more than five feet away from her, and that their fingers brushed together across the window frame.

"But isn't Eden really seductive?" Laguna pondered. He scanned the horizon and watched the GF fight. He seemed a lot more nervous than someone as carefree as he normally was should have been. It worried Seifer. After all, he knew a lot more about the things that Adel and her third Knight had done. "I know it warps the perspectives of people who try to control it. Adel made it that way - since she was so bastardized herself, she was unaffected, but she didn't want anyone else to steal her new toy. Not even another Sorceress."

"Quistis can do it," Rinoa urged quietly.

The others looked dubious, knowing Quistis's penchant for self-doubt. Seifer looked over his shoulder at the novice Sorceress, and the two of them shared a long look. One of faith.

"You know, I think this is going really badly," Irvine commented conversationally just before firing another round from his sawed-off shotgun.

"UNDERSTATEMENT," Fujin grit, sweating profusely from all the magic she'd spent. She was almost out of junctioned spells, and these apparitions from Ultimecia's future weren't carrying any. Soon, she wouldn't even be magically strong enough to maintain her junctioned connection with Pandemona.

"If it means Squall's okay, it's worth it, right? He's a dick, but I adore that about him."

"SEIFER," Fujin simply answered. Sure, she didn't wish Squall dead, but she did this more for Seifer. Anything for him. Anything to see him happy.

"That looks like the last of them," Irvine grinned as he blew through the last of the futuristic iron giants.

"Famous last words," Fujin said with dark humour as the air around them grew oppressive and think again, like they were in the belly of a great beast.

"Aw, come on. Fucking seriously?"

"You'd be a pretty poor assassin if you grew tired of killing," a voice commented lightly from within the winery's gloom.

The short, twin barrels of Irvine's gun whipped around to the source of the words. Large blades glinted in the light from the fading magic, also gently illuminating the face of Kiros. Even though Irvine recognized him as an ally, he didn't lower the gun. After all, how much of an ally could the Vice President of Esthar be to the leader of an international assassins ring?

"You don't seem surprised that I know, Sol."

"I know you're not stupid, and that you're not as mild-mannered as you seem. There's a lot of stories in the Galbadian army about you being a real cold-blooded badass."

"We can keep having a pissing contest, or we can try to save Squall's life." Kiros stepped more into the light, his face grim and serious.

"So, why haven't you arrested me?" Irvine asked, lowering the gun only a little.

"You leave so little proof of any dealings in Esthar. My political reach only goes so far. Though, my physical reach is unparalleled, and if you don't lower that gun, I can slice off your genitals from here. I know how much you prize them."

Irvine chuckled. "You just turned me on." He fully lowered his gun, face turning serious. "I haven't seen Squall in a while. We've been too busy fighting these things."

"_Is_ it Ultimecia?" Kiros asked, body taut with tension.

"NATURALLY," Fujin scoffed. "WHO ELSE?"

"Seifer's safe. Well, as safe as anyone can be in the area right now. Zell and Laguna are out there with him, and the GF are fighting Tiamat. I know it's a distraction from Eden, though."

"You have a plan?"

"Unfortunately, not really." It pained Kiros to admit that.

"TIME SHIFT," Fujin warned when she felt that pulling tightness in the air again. It blurred their vision and made them feel vertigo. Armies of futuristic Forbiddens and iron giants materialized from the shadows amidst the cobwebs and gloom. The monsters that came forth were led by a massive Red Giant, its alizarin coloured armour looking near black in the shadows. Its eyes glowed malevolent green. Not only did this gargantuan servant to Ultimecia materialize, but he also brought with him a foul odour of sewage and rotten flowers. Within the shadows cast by the massive metallic knight, the small figure of Eden's human guise appeared. Though the stench was overpowering and the black feeling of her magic left Irvine, Kiros and Fujin's nerves tingling, this was only a fraction of her magic.

"Take the Red Giant," Kiros commanded. "I'll deal with Eden."

"You know, we were doing just fine without you," Irvine snarked, shooting a fist-sized hole into the skull of one of the Forbiddens. "And, you're like, a million years old."

Kiros now ignored Irvine and Fujin, looking into the hellish red eyes of Eden's human guise. He knew this was only a fraction of the manufactured GF's power, but that fraction was still more deadly than most enemies, magical, monstrous or otherwise, had ever been. He set his jaw, and parried a quick thrust from a smoky blade that appeared from nowhere, borne of shadows. The stench from Eden nearly overwhelmed Kiros, but he continued to focus, Katal blades flashing like lightning in the dim light, making loud, ugly scraping sounds against Eden's unearthly weapon.

Kiros arched back as Eden's blade slipped past his left Katal and nearly cut the side of his face off. Twenty years ago, even Eden wouldn't have been able to land that hit on him, but he was older now, and didn't get to fight or practice as much anymore, so he felt the sting across his cheek, and the hot stickiness of blood immediately dripping down his neck and into the leather breastplate he wore under his shirt. Eden knocked against his left Katal again, and the bracer that connected it to his wrist snapped. With one motion, Kiros flung the blade away and flicked out a surgically sharp dagger from a hidden sheath underneath the larger blade. It was an Odine weapon, so when it landed and sunk through Eden's side, black blood and twisting smoke exploded from the wound.

Eden shrieked, a sound of ill-tuned violins and broken glass. Spittle and black blood stringed between her nail teeth as the blade dug through her human guise's lung. A new blade appeared in Eden's hand, forged from shadows. It actually appeared to be a gunblade, eerily similar to Squall's, with the griever emblem etched on the wide flat of the blade. Kiros parried and spun to Eden's back as she thrust the blade downward, and drove his remaining Katal into her back. She yelped, but the gunblade arced again, and Kiros felt it slice through his leather breastplate like it was made of paper. Kiros grunted when he felt it cut through his stomach muscles, but his reflexes saved any further damage.

Irvine and Fujin cut their way through the seemingly endless wave of apparitions from Ultimecia's realm, both getting distracted by watching Eden and Kiros. It was pretty dangerous, because the Red Giant was a formidable enemy, but Eden and Kiros moved together like water. His fighting was a thing of beauty, and she a thing of horrors and they mirrored each other with a dark elegance. However, Kiros wasn't as fast as he'd once been, and even if he were, Eden wasn't human. Though the Odine blades hurt her, she could make parts of her body become shadows, and just reform them. Irvine would have tried to get some buckshot pelted into her, but he would have hit Kiros.

Kiros cried out with pain and surprise when Eden's shadowy arms extended unnaturally, and the bastardized gunblade ran him through, poking through the right side of his abdomen. Kiros fell to one knee, hissing in pain as Eden screeched in laughter. Kiros's whole, lean body shuddered with the pain, but pushed towards Eden, the blade sinking deeper into him. He tasted blood in his mouth - first just a drop, then more and more. The gunblade had pierced a lung. He disregarded the hot, tangy flavour of metal that was choking him, and sliced up with his Odine blade, going through Eden's shoulder like it was butter. The movement caused him undeniable agony, but Eden's screeching gave him satisfaction. The arm grew back, like writhing, shadowy snakes, but the monstrosity's aura seemed diminished. However, Eden was now also a lot angrier.

Kiros fell to his knees from the pain, feeling toxic fire moving through his veins. He slashed out again, this time cutting off Eden's right leg at the hip joint. The sudden toppling of her body caused the gunblade to cut down through his side and into his liver and kidneys. Kiros sure as hell didn't want to die, not when Laguna couldn't function without him, not when Squall was still in so much danger, and especially not when he had Tiernan to come home to, but he knew he'd die anyway if he didn't do something. So he grit through the horrible, blinding pain and continued to hack and slash at Eden, cutting off limbs that just grew back like some kind of perverted hydra.

Not only could Kiros feel the fiery pain of the blade through his vital organs, but he felt something else. Something dark and venomous. Some sort of toxin that seeped into him from within Eden's smoky shadows. He reared his head back when she snapped her nail teeth at his face, her breath hot, muggy and rank against his face. He bit back a scream when the nail mouth then dug into his shoulder, dozens of little rusty daggers piercing him. Kiros tossed away his other Katal so he could get a better grip on the Odine daggers, and he jammed them into Eden's belly, giving her a death-glare, not flinching as his eyes stared into the hot, burning red pits of her eye sockets.

Suddenly, the gunblade exited him, and he slumped forward from the immediate extraction. The blade hadn't been pulled out. It just disappeared. His ears rang from the pain, and the sounds of Fujin and Irvine fighting the Red Giant seemed like they were under water. He shuddered and blinked, seeing Quistis's face suddenly in front of him, her eyes looking so blue and human compared to Eden's stare. "Quistis...?" He whispered, blood dribbling from between his lips.

"Shush," she commanded, casting some magic on him. "You didn't hear me calling you?" She asked, peering into his eyes. Kiros hadn't realized it, but he'd blacked out briefly from the pain and the force of Eden's magic. "Eden's under control. Hyne... you're a mess." Quistis forced Kiros to meet her gaze. He seemed lucid, but was obviously in a lot of pain, and his eyes got glassier and farther away with each passing second. His cinnamon complexion turned pale and grey, and the blood coming from his mouth and nose got thicker and blacker, even in the limited light.

She touched her ear, where there was a headset she'd picked up at Garden. "Rinoa? Kiros is hurt. Hurry." She knew the Sorceress would be able to use stronger magic, and Quistis didn't have much time. She had to find Squall... "Stay with him," Quistis commanded to Jurgen before running deeper into the winery. She didn't look back to see if he'd done it, because she trusted he would. She trusted that he would trust her. She trusted him. Period. It felt good to feel it about someone aside from Seifer and Squall. "Please... baby, please be okay," she whispered to herself, the zebra swallowtail shadowbox hot in her hands from Eden's power.

Squall groaned in pain, unable to see straight, but unable to give up. One of his eyes was swelling shut, and he knew he'd have a hell of a shiner if he survived this mess. Usually, it was thoughts of Seifer and Quisty that kept Squall going, but this time he didn't even think of them. He thought of Ultimecia, and fucking her over. Ultimecia, or Luchia, stumbled in the wake of her transformation, but as time ticked on, she got stronger. It was still kind of hard for Squall's brain to reconcile that he was looking at Ultimecia, and not Luchia Blackwell. Hyne, how many fucking times had he stood beside Luchia when she'd been completely defenceless! He could have killed her a thousand times over. But, would Ultimecia have just found another body?

It didn't matter, in the end. What mattered was that he kept moving. He kept parrying and slicing at her with Lionheart. It mattered that the black, rancid smoke that made up Eden had suddenly vanished. It mattered that he could no longer smell raw sewage choking him. It mattered that Squall knew if Ultimecia didn't kill him now, she'd never get another chance. All this fucking around with time had put her in a time loop she couldn't really escape from. Even if Squall died today, his past self would still destroy her. Even if she won, she'd still go into the past to kill Squall. She had to, because her past self had already decided it. Squall had no fathomable clue what she'd tried to do with Azabaashe. Did she need his necromancy in order to use Luchia's body? Was she herself dying in the future, and needed that energy in order to gain a new body? Was it the exact time in the future that they'd all travelled to right now? If Ultimecia lost here, would she throw herself back into the past to possess Adel and set all the pieces in motion to bring them to this day?

Thinking about it made Squall's head hurt, and it distracted him, enough so that he was slammed in the chest by a large barrage of magic. When he hit the nearest wall, blinding red pain shot across the vision from his one good eye. He wouldn't be surprised if his ribs were in a hundred different pieces. He was barely even aware of Selphie or Doomtrain, or even Shiva, anymore. Ultimecia was all he saw. His gunblade had been knocked out of his hand, but that didn't stop Squall. He went to the same cold, dark place he'd gone to when he fought Astor. He just wanted to rip this bitch apart with his bare hands. He and Ultimecia shared magical blows, and he put his whole weight into a shoulder-check, jamming her in the belly with his elbow. She uppercut him in the ribs, and it caused Squall to drop like a bag of bricks. He would have vomited if there were anything left in his stomach to puke up.

Squall then felt like Doomtrain had crashed right into the side of his head. In fact, it had been Ultimecia's clawed, almost avian, foot slamming into the side of his face. He felt one of her sharp toenails dig into his temple, and the whole world flipped around. He immediately felt sick and knew she'd given him a pretty bad concussion. When he tried to move, it was like the floor became something out of a carnival funhouse, and colours smeared together until he became so nauseated that he dry-heaved violently.

He tried to stand up, but Ultimecia got him around the neck with one of her clawed hands. The nails dug into him and cut off his air. He stared into Ultimecia's eyes, now completely golden. None of Luchia's electric blue remained. Her eyes looked irritated and bloodshot, just like his own. She suffered from the effects of Doomtrain's toxins, just the same as him. Squall looked into those eyes, and realized that he was going to lose. He wasn't going to get out of this like he'd got out of his fight with Astor. Was this how she'd felt, in the end? When all her tricks had failed and Squall had ended her life? He refused to close his eyes, though. He wouldn't show her his fear and sorrow, not even as his vision smeared from lack of oxygen. He wouldn't give Ultimecia the satisfaction of seeing his heartbreak at not being able to finish the life with Seifer he'd started. He refused to show her that, but the tears still fell from his eyes, even as he stared Ultimecia down defiantly. He'd never press his cheek to the warmth of the side of Seifer's neck again. He'd never get called 'Kitten'. He'd never get to buy a house with Seifer, or fall asleep with him every night, or have a fight with him, or spar with him.

Squall suddenly felt like the floor had given out from under him. Air swelled back into his lungs, stinking of toxic gas and rancid flowers. He sank to the floor and tried desperately not to black out. Squall attempted to raise himself with Lionheart, but stumbled and fell back against the wall. His head felt like one giant bruise, and each breath was agony. Unfortunately, he was getting used to the latter feeling. He looked up through sore, squinted eyes when the shadow of a person came into his smeary vision. He raised his gunblade in front of him, but it was gently knocked away as if it were a toy.

The figure crouched in front of him, and Squall sighed a sigh of relief that turned into a groan of pain when he stared into Quistis's familiar, loving cobalt eyes. The sound of Diablos's bats circling around her and screeching with their sonar made him feel like his brains were oozing out his ears, but he'd never been so happy to see her.

Eden's power, under Quistis's control, hit Ultimecia hard. She'd been so magically drained from her transformation within Luchia's body that she had no magical defences to counter such an attack. Quistis slammed her eyes shut against the blinding light of Eden's standard magical attack, feeling unclean. She knew that junctioning Eden was grossly dangerous, but Squall's life was more important than that. She focused on him, and the laboured sound of his breathing, instead of focusing on Eden's whispers within her own head.

Quistis's concentration faltered when she looked down into the now kneeling Ultimecia's face. Her mouth opened, and she almost whispered 'Luchia', but the name got stuck somewhere in her throat. Her whole mouth burned from junctioning Eden, and her skin felt itchy and clammy. Her hesitation caused Ultimecia to regain some of her composure, and Quistis was flung back against the wall by a wave of magic. She kept the butterfly shadowbox clutched tight in her hands, and heard the display glass crack. She ignored Eden's sultry whisperings and intoxicating promises and called more of the bastardized power to her. Ultimecia shrieked, and sounded more like Luchia. She screamed and cursed, digging her claws into the dirt floor.

"Damned SeeD," she hissed, her foothold in the past faltering under Eden's magic. She knew that if she teleported back, she'd only face another defeat at the hands of these upstart little urchins, but if she stayed here, death was completely certain. She hissed, illegible and enraged, under her breath before giving up her connection to this time, vanishing in a cloud of glittering magic and black feathers.

The oppressive feeling in the air immediately vanished, and it was like they'd been underwater for hours, and had finally breached the surface. Ultimecia's creatures withered away until they were alone in the winery with the echoing sound of Squall's pained breathing, and the sound of their own heartbeats.

Quistis waited a few tense moments before she disjunctioned Eden. She then crouched beside Squall and cupped his bruised and swollen face between her hands, inspecting his eyes. "Can you hear me?"

"Yes," he replied, taciturn and annoyed. "My name is Squall Leonhart. I'm the son of the Estharian President, in love with Seifer Almasy, and an alcoholic. Satisfied?"

Quistis ruefully shook her head, and gave him a kiss. "Can you stand?"

Squall gripped Quistis's hands between his own and groaned as they both struggled to pull him to his feet. When he felt Selphie's hand on his arm, trying to help as well, he shrugged her away. In truth, he'd forgotten that she was there. True, he probably would have died without Selphie's help, but he had a long memory, and his penchant for grudges made his anger at her still rise in him like lava.

"Is..."

"Seifer's okay," Quistis answered, knowing exactly what Squall was going to ask. Squall leaned heavily on her when he finally got to his feet. "I wish I could say the same for you. Or Kiros." She bit her lip.

"Kiros...?"

Selphie's head jerked up, eyes darting back and forth as she listened to Doomtrain talking in her head. "Guys... Um, I think we should jet."

"Why?" Quistis asked. "Okay, honey... one foot in front of the other," she said lowly to Squall.

"Doomtrain's sensing some sort of weird magical disturbance that's totally not Ultimecia."

Quistis bit the inside of her cheek so hard that she tasted blood. She'd read stories about what happened here during Adel's reign of Esthar. "Squall, baby you have to move."

Squall slammed his eyes shut as a wave of nausea debilitated him. He felt the ground rumble underneath of him with the dark energy of something that definitely wasn't an earthquake.

"Hurry!" Selphie urged, flapping her arms like she was a matador. "Hurry, hurry."

Quistis leapt back when the ground in front of her blew upwards in a cloud of dust and grit. She put herself in front of Squall to shield him, but the ground was breaking apart all around them. There was an awful moment of pure silence, where they couldn't even hear their own breathing or heartbeats. And then the screaming started.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

Laguna paced back and forth in front of the hood of the truck, nearly blinded by the tears in his eyes. Rinoa had gotten a call from Quistis, and had gone immediately, saying only that Kiros was hurt. Laguna knew very well that Kiros could take care of himself, and he was a world-class badass, so anything that could hurt him enough that only Rinoa could help... it terrified Laguna. It terrified him what would happen to Esthar if Kiros wasn't there. He had no delusions about the fact that Kiros pretty much ran the city, and he himself was just a figurehead. He also couldn't live without Kiros, period. Ward was a great friend, but Kiros was like his brother, his father, his platonic spouse. Laguna very well knew that if he were gay, they'd be together.

He remembered how much he'd hated Tiernan the first time he'd ever met him. He'd felt all the burning jealousy of a single-parent child meeting their mom or dad's new lover. It was one of the few times that Laguna had been deliberately mean to someone, but he'd been unable to face the prospect of this tall, handsome, well-respected man taking Kiros away from him. It didn't help that Laguna had felt like a short, stupid redneck compared to the Estharian surgeon. Ellone had rightly pointed out to him how unfair he'd been acting, that he couldn't give Kiros all the things he needed. She'd also pointed out that maybe this is how Kiros had felt when he'd met Raine. That had been a splash of cold water in the face, and he'd grown to love Tiernan as a member of their family.

But now he felt all that burning, angry possessiveness towards Kiros. What if something happened to him? He remember what he'd said to Squall and his friends about love being the only thing he needed to reach Ultimecia and defeat her, but if Kiros died because of her, love would fly out the window, and Laguna would sell his soul to Odine himself if it meant going ahead in time and ripping her head from her shoulders with his bare hands. He didn't even _want_ to think about what he'd do if he lost Squall.

He looked up into the truck and his gaze met Seifer's. He had the same unshed tears in his eyes, and their gazes held perfect understanding.

"So, what's going on with you and Rinoa?" Zell asked. It was the first thing he'd said in a while. With Laguna pacing outside, the car was filled with him, Raijin and Seifer. That was a lot of hostility crammed into a small area.

"Why?" Raijin asked, the anger in his voice making him sound like a completely different person.

"Rinoa's my friend. I want to see her happy."

"I'll warn her, then. I know how you treat your friends."

"I don't need your holier-than-thou attitude, Raijin. I made a mistake, okay?"

"I'd say. Fucking over your friends so you could fuck Xu. So awesome of you, ya know?"

"Just stop," Seifer said quietly, voice strained and cracking. He grabbed Hyperion opened the passenger door and slid out before either of the other two could protest. He just couldn't listen to them anymore. He couldn't be cooped up in that car, wondering if Squall was dead. Serino peeped and flew after him, shy around the other humans.

"Hey, hey." Laguna glowered at Seifer as he gingerly walked towards the front of the truck.

"I'm fine," Seifer whispered. "I just..."

"I know. But you still shouldn't put weight on your leg."

"I've never been good at following orders," Seifer said wryly, leaning against the hood, Hyperion held like a walking stick.

"I guess we haven't gotten much chance to talk. I mean, about you dating my son."

Seifer opened his mouth, but couldn't think of anything to say. He rarely got embarrassed, but now he definitely was.

"Squall's happy with you. I mean _really_ happy. That mean's you're okay with me for anything. The past doesn't matter. But if you hurt him, I'll kill you."

"Understood."

"Are you going to go back to school, if life ever gets back to normal for you?"

"I want to," Seifer said. "I really like doing that TV deal too, though..." He stopped talking when he felt a vibration through the ground. Serino burrowed against his chest and started peeping and whimpering. Tiamat shrieked in the sky, and everyone had to cover their ears as the she-dragon vanished back to her future realm.

"Is it over?" Laguna asked, squinting against the sky.

"Kupokupo," Serino chattered into Seifer's hair.

"What's wrong?"

"Seifer, get back in the truck!" Odin commanded, suddenly appearing before him. His eyes were burning bright.

"Shit!" Laguna cursed when the ground in front of him exploded upward. In the center of the dust cloud, a hand shot up from underground. The dust clouds coalesced and began forming the shapes of people. "Oh _shit_," Laguna breathed. "Seifer, do what Odin says..."

Seifer slowly turned around, and saw the shapes of humans taking shape. Undead humans. "Azabaashe..."

They didn't shamble like any movie zombies. Their eyes burned unnaturally with necromancy, and they screamed horrifically. They were the screams of pain and violation. Being creatures of the afterlife, they homed in on Odin. He was able to push them back, eradicating them to dust once more, but something strange was happening to him. He looked like he was getting thinner, more translucent. The screaming got louder and louder, too loud for how many of them there were. It was like the recent magical disturbance hadn't just risen these bodies and their ghostly energy, but had resurrected all the horrors that had been done on them in Adel's name.

"Odin's vanishing," Raijin breathed from within the car. He jerked when one of the undead things slammed their skeletal hands against the door, shrieking in at him.

"Azabaashe is a necromancer. Odin's undead. Whatever power is in the air is affecting him, too. If it turns him..." Laguna raised his machine gun and started mowing through anything that came near them. "Seifer, you gotta get in the car."

"You can't handle them all yourself." Seifer raised Hyperion and rushed at the nearest creature. Putting weight on his leg that way caused fire to shoot from toe to hip, but his body moved fluidly, with memory. It had been a long time since he'd fought like this, and his body craved it. The pain became secondary, and he quickly adapted. It felt so fucking good to slice Hyperion through things. The only thing that would make it better would be if Squall and Quistis were beside him, fighting like well-oiled machines.

He focused just on this, because if he looked too long at the things he was fighting, he saw the humanity in them. He saw the old wounds on their decrepit bodies. He saw the obvious signs of torture. His back and his eyes burned in sympathetic memory. He felt every pin holding his leg together. He felt the fear again, the anticipation of pain, which was almost worse than the pain itself. He smelled his own flesh burning.

Seifer burrowed those feelings as he parried one of the impossibly fast creatures. It, formerly a woman, got his bicep in a cold, iron grip. It hurt more than a bullet wound, almost feeling like immediate frostbite. Her fingers actually began to sink into his flesh, blackening it around her hand. Before any more damage could be done, Seifer cut off the hand with one of the multi-purpose hunting knives he kept strapped to his forearms. He'd never actually used them as weapons before. He'd bought them for slicing through rope and brush and meat for eating when he'd been out in the Centran wilds. Cutting off hands of demonic creatures fuelled by necromancy definitely hadn't been in his mind as a future use for them.

In the truck, Raijin scooted away from the window that the creatures pounded on, then gave it a hard kick with both heels. The door popped open, sprawling the wraith backwards. Raijin's big hand searched and grabbed in the backseat until he got a grip on Seifer's crutches. He didn't have his baton with him, and they'd make a serviceable weapon. He tapped into Quetzacoatl's powers, even though he didn't have the thunder bird junctioned. His compatibility with her was so strong that he didn't necessarily need to be connected to be able to gain some use from her powers. "Holy fucking Hyne, Zell. You coming or not?" Raijin shouted angrily, his tone pretty much screaming 'coward'.

"Okay, so you're the Adel expert... any way to stop this?" Seifer asked Laguna over all the screaming.

"That's the first time anyone called me an expert on anything," Laguna replied, slapping a new magazine into place. "And, honestly? No fucking clue. Rinoa might know..."

"You think this magic might gravitate towards her because she's a Sorceress?" Raijin asked, throat already raw from how loud he had to shout over all the screaming. He smashed one of the undead necromantic monstrosities in the face so hard that it snapped Seifer's crutch in two. "I'm gonna go after her."

"Raijin!" Laguna called as the burly man shoulder-checked his way past one of the things, then snapped the neck of another one that stood in its way. That didn't exactly help, because it kept moving and latched itself onto Raijin's leg with bony, steel-like fingers. He yelped from the burning pain, stomping on the hand until it became nothing but dusty pulp. The creatures didn't bleed, and instead just turned to dust, sometimes coalescing into new forms and bodies. "Don't be stupid!" He shouted after the large man. "And I know something about being stupid!" He added when he blew a fist-sized hole in the face of one of the undead.

As Laguna, Seifer and Zell tried to contain the sea of rising necromantic automatons, Raijin ran through their arms, stiff with rigor. He felt their burning touch but wrenched away from it. Rinoa had Adel's power in her. What if this was only a small concentration, and there were hundreds more of these things inside? What would that mean for her? What would it mean for Quistis, Squall and Kiros? The doors to the winery were shut, and Raijin shoulder-checked against the unforgiving wood. They swung open, but not before he felt hot jarring in his arm. Probably dislocated his shoulder, but that was irrelevant.

"Rinoa!" He shouted, slamming one of Seifer's crutches against the chests of two of the creatures. They fell back in a big cloud of dust that went straight into Raijin's lungs when he breathed. He stomped on one of their faces and beat the other in the head with one crutch. The wood snapped uselessly and he threw it away, running deeper into the building.

"What's happening?" Rinoa asked, backing up against an old wine keg as the awful, screeching creatures circled around her and Kiros. He kept trying to wave her away and get into the fray to help Selphie, Irvine, Fujin, Jurgen, Quistis and Squall, but she wouldn't allow it. Hell, she wanted to pull Squall out of there too, but Kiros was far more injured, and if she didn't focus on him, he could die from whatever magical infection he'd gotten from Eden when she stabbed him.

"Azabaashe," Kiros muttered, voice reedy and weak. Very unlike his usual strength. It terrified the novice Sorceress.

"Rinoa!"

She looked up from pushing another wave of sorcery into Kiros's wounds. "Raijin...?"

"Rinoa!" He called again.

"Raijin!" She cried loudly when she heard his voice more acutely. She yelped when Quistis's whip cracked very near her, so loud that it actually briefly drowned out the screaming.

Raijin tossed crackling lightning into a cluster of Azabaashe's abominations, following that quickly with a few bashes with the remaining crutch. "Holy shit... Kiros..." Raijin backed up near them, casting quick looks at both. Kiros looked like complete shit, his complexion grey. He was drenched in sweat too, and there were black vein-like marks creeping up his neck and cheeks.

"Laguna..." He rasped out.

"Kicking ass outside with Seifer and Zell. It's not good." His brown eyes briefly slid to Rinoa as he punched the head right off one of the things, the skull becoming a dust cloud.

Squall's head jerked up when he heard Seifer's name. He was barely aware of his surroundings, and it didn't even really connect right now that it was Raijin who said it. His head throbbed from the concussion, the quick movements, and the horrible high-pitched screaming these fucking creatures were making. Trying to concentrate on who said Seifer's name made the room turn upside down. He was only running on fumes and instinct now. Years down the road from now, people would talk about the epic scope of how Squall fought that day, like liquid war and graceful death, but he wouldn't remember it. He'd be amazed that he'd been able to stand, let alone cut through three undead creatures at once. It was almost like being drunk again - a section of his life he'd note with only the scantest recollection.

"They're drawn to you," Raijin told her, catching a pistol thrown at him by Irvine, who noticed his lack of proper weapons. He kept the crutch. It was good for sweeping the hands of the things away from Kiros and Rinoa. "Because of Adel's power, ya know!"

"Adel..." Rinoa breathed. "Kiros, you hear me?"

"My hearing's fine."

"Adel could control Azabaashe, right? She wouldn't have made him her Knight unless she could dominate his power. Did she experiment to gain control of necromancy?"

"Sorcery can cancel out necromancy. A Sorceress's magic is very life based," Kiros explained through fits of coughing, his voice barely audible over the hellish screaming. "It'll take a lot, though." His eyes held a darkness in them that had nothing to do with his blood poisoning. His eyes told her 'more than you might have'. _More than you can take._

Rinoa looked up at Raijin beside her, cracking the crutch against the legs of one creature, taking them out entirely. She looked at Quistis and Squall. Hyne, they'd been through so much already. Life just didn't seem to want to give them any breaks. Quistis looked sweaty from her connection with Eden, though she refused to call on the GF's powers. Squall looked glassy-eyed and drunk, though he fought beautifully. Lionheart arced and slashed with lightning-quick motions, and his body moved and parried with sinewy, almost reptilian grace. How could she hesitate to sacrifice when everyone around her was sacrificing so much?

She reached out her hand for Raijin, wanting to touch just a part of him. Her palm found his hip, and she revelled in the warmth of him through his clothing. She wanted him to tether her here in case she lost herself in the magic. She felt her angel wings spring behind her. Rather than using her magic like a physical weapon, she used it more like sound or sonar. She was sure Raijin and Kiros could feel her hands heat up from the magical charges, but it was perfectly safe for them. For the first time, she tapped into the parts of her power that came from Adel. She's always been frightened of that part of herself before this. She'd been afraid the dark magic would corrupt her, too. She could feel that it had a different weight and texture than the rest of her power.

She opened her eyes, which now blazed like dark brown fire, and looked at Quistis. Quisty was like an Amazon. She fought fiercely, her face a still mask of brutality. Quistis was a good woman, but she'd always fought like she knew that darkness inside herself, and had come to understand it. To embrace it. Maybe that's the real reason that Rinoa had never fit in with the rest of the SeeD gang. She'd thought it was because she didn't want to fight in wars, and she really didn't. But maybe it was also because she wasn't comfortable holding up that black mirror to herself.

She then looked at Raijin, and he looked down at her. His brown eyes were full of compassion and trust. She'd been thinking she would have to embrace darkness, and maybe even become it, but Raijin never had. Just because Adel's power was inside her, that didn't mean it was Adel's any longer. It was all Rinoa's. She didn't have to divide herself like the SeeD gang had. She wouldn't use Adel's power to control necromancy. She'd use it to eradicate it.

When she thought that, the power flared stronger in her, finally being accepted by her aura. The creatures screamed louder at the resistance to them. They could feel the pull of Rinoa's power, and immediately all converged towards her to get her to stop. They could feel their link to this world lessening, and they didn't want to give it up. They were like computers - they only knew Azabaashe's programming, and had to do what the necromancy told them, which meant they had to kill Rinoa.

"Don't stop," Kiros whispered to her, looking up into her face.

Rinoa closed her eyes and looked heavenward, fingers digging into Raijin's hip. The creatures' screaming seemed louder to her than the others, nearly deafening enough to break her concentration. Nearly. But not quite. Raijin dropped the crutch and covered her hand with his own, squeezing her delicate fingers tight. The life in his touch beat like a heart in her hand, strengthening her. A tear trickled down her cheek from joy at finding happiness again, in the most unexpected of places.

Quistis felt a magical rumbling through the ground, and then they were all blown back by a sonic blast of power, centred around Rinoa. She instinctively got her arms around Squall, using her own body as a cushion when they fell, so he wouldn't hit his head again. She felt Lionheart cut the side of her leg in the confusion. The screaming grew to a shrill pitch, then vanished instantly, leaving them all with the sense they'd gone deaf. A thick layer of dust settled over all of them.

"You okay?" Quistis whispered in Squall's ear after a long period of silence. They all seemed afraid to speak and break it, in case the whole nightmare started up again.

"I wanna get out of here," Squall whispered back. He was covered in corpse ashes and his ribs and head fucking _hurt_. All he wanted was to see sunlight again, smell fresh air, and put his arms around Seifer's waist and feel his boyfriend's heartbeat against his chest.

"Kiros still needs a doctor," Rinoa murmured, rising to her feet. He was still breathing regularly, but it sounded thready and laboured. Her own voice resonated at a deeper cadence because of her magic use.

Rinoa silently pointed out the worse of Kiros's injuries as Raijin lifted the man in his arms, working together with looks and gestured to find a way to transport him with the least amount of pain. Even in this terrible situation, Rinoa felt a thrill at this level of couple-like communication. She hadn't felt that since before they'd all defeated Ultimecia together the first time. Was this how Seifer and Squall felt all the time?

Squall's eyelids began to feel really heavy, and he must have stumbled, because he felt weight against his other side, then an arm looping through his own. Quistis supported his left, and Irvine his right. "Hyne, Squall... you sure know how to fucking fight. It's such a turn on."

"I think I'm going to throw up."

"You don't know how to take compliments."

Squall halted and bowed forward to dry-heave, the stomach contractions sending blinding pain up his chest.

"Oh, you meant it literally." He looked over his shoulder to Selphie, who was watching their rear with Doomtrain, who was in his human disguise. She looked like she wanted to come forward and help Squall somehow, but there was a lot of hesitation in her eyes. The anger and hate in Squall's glare had stabbed her like a dagger, and she still felt the cold burn of it.

When they got out in the sunlight, led by Jurgen, Squall flinched in pain. The sudden light and his concussion did not like each other. Though, after the initial pain, he felt better after being able to breathe in fresh air. It cleared out the cobwebs enough that he pulled his arm away from Irvine. He kept his other arm looped through Quistis's though. He wanted to be near her.

Jurgen kept looking at Kiros, the Vice-President his top priority, even over Quistis. It helped to care for a woman who could kick anybody's ass, and knew the importance of his duty. Jurgen didn't even want Raijin to carry Kiros, but he was the only one big and strong enough to do so. Though he was very lean and willowy, Kiros was a very tall man, and was heavier than he looked. Kiros quietly moaned in pain, trying to quench the noise.

"Hey, look, kupo!" Serino exclaimed. He felt Rinoa's presence before he felt any others. Serino wanted to fly straight to her, like a moth seeing a lantern in pitch darkness. She felt stronger, more powerful, more full of life. From his perch on Seifer's shoulder, he felt the human's hope swell.

Laguna, Seifer and Zell had fought tooth and nail against the undead creatures, though the numbers had been far fewer for them than what the people within the winery had experienced. Seifer's leg was really sore, but he didn't feel any structural damage. Serino's magic, coupled with some light curative spells of his own, helped dull the pain to a sufferable ache. Because Raijin had taken his crutches, he still used Hyperion like a walking cane.

"Oh, shit..." Laguna squinted as they all approached, his eyesight not as good as it had once been. He saw Squall being supported by Quistis and walking a little tipsy, and saw Raijin carrying a bundle, long limbs spilling from his large arms. Laguna slung his machine gun over his shoulder by the strap and ran towards them at top speed, eyes darting between Kiros and his son.

"I'm okay," Squall croaked when Laguna stood between them, terror in his eyes.

Laguna briefly darted to his son and kissed his sweaty cheek, then went over to Kiros, who'd finally passed into unconsciousness in Raijin's arms.

"I did what I could," Rinoa said quietly. "I don't want to teleport him to the city in this condition. It would be too much of a shock to his system. Eden stabbed him with magically toxic blades."

"Kiros..." Laguna trailed off, swallowing a sob as he looked at the blackened veins snaking up Kiros's cheeks like virulent ivy. His skin was clammy and hot when Laguna gently touched his forehead. "Is the ship ready to go?" He asked his intercom in a shaky voice. Now that the necromancy was gone, it worked again.

"Yes, Sir."

"Good. Get ready to leave. Immediately. Go straight to the hospital's landing pad. Page Dr. Murphy-Seagill. Now." He shook his head angrily. "What have you done to yourself?" Laguna whispered to his oldest friend. "How could you be so stupid to leave me alone to take charge?"

Squall gently disentangled himself from Quistis's arm, and walked under his own power towards Seifer, who waited patiently for him. It killed the tall blonde to watch Squall walk like he was drunk again, but Squall seemed very determined, and Seifer wouldn't take that away from him. And he was smiling. Really smiling. The sun shone brightly in the sky, but it was nothing compared to that dorky, beautiful smile that punched Seifer in the solar plexus. As Squall got closer, Seifer saw the tears on his cheeks, though he smiled through them.

"Hi, Kitten," Seifer whispered, though Squall was still too far away to hear him. Lionheart clattered on the ash and dust covered ground at the same time as Hyperion, and Squall dashed across the last few metres between them, and flung himself against Seifer with his arms tight around the taller man's waist.

"She's gone," Squall muttered against the side of Seifer's neck, breathing in the smell of him and feeling his jugular pulse. His own heart hammered in his chest. He knew he was crying from over-emotion and pain and whatever else, but when Seifer's hands cupped the sides of his face, Squall couldn't keep the big smile off his face. "She's gone this time." A long life without the spectre of Ultimecia hanging on them loomed in front of Squall. A life with Seifer. Finally being able to rest. Not having to save the world or run for their lives. Being able to exist quietly together. The boring every day couple hood that he envied in Elle and Roberto. He felt, with such an iron surety, that they'd have that now, and he really didn't know how to deal with that.

Seifer's eyes looked tight around the edges with concern that filled Squall's heart past the point of capacity. How did he deserve this man, after all the shit he'd put him through? Why did Seifer think he was worth it? His face crumpled when Seifer's fingers gently touched the gash on his head that had given him this concussion. Seifer brought him into a firm yet gentle embrace as he wept, and kissed away his salty tears. He felt stupid for crying at nothing in particular, but he knew that Seifer wouldn't begrudge him. He knew it was safe to cry in Seifer's arms.

Quistis waited patiently, giving Seifer and Squall their time alone to reunite, but then ran to them. They welcomed her silently into their embrace, and she felt Squall's back shake with sobs against her chest. Serino landed on her shoulder and shared in the hug, too. His paws wrapped around her neck, and his pom-pom tickled her ear. Jurgen watched them, knowing that he'd have to share her with these two men. Just like she would have to share him with his duty to Laguna and Kiros. It was more than a fair trade-off to be with her. Though he wasn't the over-emotional type, he felt a violent affection for Quistis Trepe that he hoped she felt, too. He didn't say goodbye to her as he escorted Kiros and Laguna to the airship, because he knew he'd see her soon.

Zell watched Seifer, Squall and Quistis embrace, feeling like an outcast. He saw Selphie standing alone in the background too, looking lost and ashamed. Xu had ruined more than just Seifer, Squall and Quistis's lives. They were getting those back, but Zell wondered if their friendship was something he'd lost forever. All for what? To fuck Xu? He didn't try to go over to Selphie, to share in her isolation, because Zell felt like he deserved to be alone right now.

Squall woke up in a post-surgery concussion fog, surprised to see a strange man's face. He was pretty used to waking up in a hospital bed and seeing either Seifer or Tiernan, so this olive-skinned man with round spectacles in front of small brown eyes seemed really out of place.

"Ah. Awake, are we?" The man asked pleasantly, consulting a chart. "I'm Dr. Canterra. I'm the surgeon who worked on your ribs yesterday. Because they'd been broken previously, we had to go in an implant some steel rodding to hold them in place. You'll have to go through some magical therapy, but they should be near good as before. Unless you go and break them again." He'd given this speech to Squall once before, just after surgery, but Squall had zero memory of it.

Squall just grunted, immediately shy around this stranger who was seeing him at his most physically vulnerable. "Where's Tiernan?"

"He's taken himself off active roster for now. He told me to apologize to you, but he's not emotionally fit for duties currently."

Squall's heart jumped in his throat, mind slowly putting pieces back together. "Kiros...?" He asked sleepily. Damn his concussion.

"Alive. But in very serious condition."

"Will he...?"

"Worry about yourself for now, Mr. Leonhart. Your partner is waiting outside. He can stay with you for a while. A nurse or myself will be back to wake you up periodically."

Squall grinned when Dr. Canterra left, Seifer coming in after him. Instead of his crutches, he had a cane, which he leaned heavily upon. He sat down beside Squall's bed, throwing a blanket Quistis had knit across his legs. He winced as the wool rubbed against a bare patch of skin where the undead monsters had touched him. Seifer, like everyone else who'd come face-to-face with them, suffered from hand shaped cold burns that the doctors assured would vanish fairly quickly. Some of the handprints were still black around the edges, and Seifer shuddered whenever he looked at them.

"We really need to stop having dates like this, Kitten." Seifer leaned over and kissed Squall's grinning lips.

"The bed part's nice..." Squall trailed off, starting to feel really sleepy. "Kiros?" He knew the doctor probably hadn't told him the full truth.

"Haven't heard anything. He's 'stable', I guess. But he'd still got a really, really serious fever, and he's in isolation because the poison's demolishing his immune system."

Squall thought unpleasantly of the condition Seifer had been in when they'd brought him back from Fisherman's Horizon. "Quisty...?"

"Sleeping."

"Youshouldbesleepy..." Squall slurred.

"I should be right here." Seifer kissed his boyfriend again, watching as he drifted into sleep. He was perfectly content to just sit there and watch Squall sleep. He was so fucking beautiful, and he was _Seifer's_. Seifer grimaced in pain as he shifted his weight. When he reached into the pocket of his scrub pants, he pulled out a few walnuts instead of his pain pills. The nuts had been left there by Serino before he'd flown off to sit with a near-hysterical Laguna. Seifer had offered to stay, but Laguna had forcefully sent him back to Squall, saying he needed someone to watch over his son who loved him.

After a while, there was a gentle knock at the door, and Seifer smiled genuinely when Raijin quietly came into the room, clicking the door shut behind him.

"Squall okay?"

Seifer nodded. "He'll be fine. Any word on Kiros?"

Raijin shook his head, silently pulling up a chair to the other side of Squall's bed. He lowered his big body into it, and looked into Squall's sleeping face. He almost looked like a different person when he slept. "He really killed Ultimecia, ya know! She's stuck in a time loop or something now."

"I know," Seifer said, unable to hide the pride in his voice. Why would he want to hide it? Squall was his hero right now.

"What will you guys do now?"

Seifer shrugged, grinning. "I don't know. Anything we want."

Raijin grinned back. "Does being a TV personality play into that 'anything', ya know?"

"Maybe..." Seifer chuckled.

The burly, russet-skinned man looked down at Squall. He had a black eye and a cut lip, but he still looked like a painting. Like a male Sleeping Beauty. "You think Squall will be angry about me and Rinoa? I know they're not together anymore, but..." Raijin's eyes raised to his friend's face, wondering if he'd see anger or jealousy there.

He saw thoughtfulness instead. "I think he still feels protective over Rinoa, but he wants her to be happy. And he has no right to complain about anyone hurting her, because he did enough of that."

"Yeah, but sometimes these things aren't always rational. That's a rational response, ya know?"

"Are you going to seek his permission?"

"Hell no. Just... I'd like us to maybe become friends, since we'll be seeing each other a lot more."

"You like her?"

"More than like, ya know? It doesn't feel like work to be with her. Not like Tia."

Seifer's eyes twinkled. He was happy for Raijin. He got pushed around a lot. By Seifer himself though he regretted every second in hindsight, by Fujin, by Tia. He deserved someone who would see his gentleness for the strength it really was. "How does Fujin feel about it?" Seifer asked, surprisingly warily. Talking about Fujin seemed strange now.

Squall and Quistis were going through the realization that their relationships with their Garden friends, friends they thought would be close to them for a lifetime, were fractured beyond repair. Seifer and Raijin were going through that same thing with Fujin now. Seifer had barely even seen her since Fisherman's Horizon, and it was obvious that she and Raijin had some kind of falling out, though Seifer didn't know anything beyond that.

"Don't really care," Raijin answered truthfully. "She strung me along for years. I always kinda had a crush on her, but she was head-over-heels for you, even though she knew you're gay. So whatever, ya know?"

"She's our friend..."

"She's an assassin."

"So am I," Seifer pointed out darkly, thumb nervously rubbing over Squall's knuckles because of this subject matter.

"Not in your heart you're not. She is. Irvine took advantage of your emotional vulnerability. And you thought you couldn't do any better after Ultimecia. Fujin... she won't stop."

Seifer looked away, and instead concentrated on Squall's sleeping, bruised face.

"So, hey! Did you see Vanessa Guillonio?" Raijin asked, changing the subject quickly. "I kinda wanted to ask for her autograph, but she was in the hospital wing talking to Laguna."

"Oh, yeah. She came to visit Squall, but he was kinda out of it."

"She's got a real cute kid. Why was she visiting Squall?"

"They went to rehab together." Seifer adjusted his weight, and grunted in pain.

"Your meds not working?"

Seifer shrugged.

"You're not taking them," Raijin said. He didn't make it a question. "You think you're getting addicted?"

"I want to get hard sometime this century," Seifer said frankly. "I mean, I look at Squall and _feel_ it and I want to fuck him so bad, but don't have the usual reaction. It's really nice to be with him, doing other things _to_ him. I love sucking his dick, and he makes the most amazing noises when I rim him, but..." Seifer stopped himself. "Is this making you uncomfortable?"

"You know I don't care if you're talking about another dude..."

"I meant because it's Squall, and you're now sleeping with his ex-girlfriend," interrupted Seifer.

"Is he sleeping with her _now_?" Raijin asked with a raised eyebrow. "Does he plan on it in the future? Not with the way he looks at you." Raijin leaned back in his chair with a big, very male grin. "And, 'sides... Rinoa and I already talked about this, ya know? Afterwards."

Seifer couldn't help but smirk. "That didn't take long. I guess she was just hungry for a boyfriend who didn't turn out to love cock." He cocked a golden eyebrow. "You don't, do you?"

"Pfft," Raijin said with a shake of his head while Seifer laughed. Raijin smiled so widely that his mouth hurt. He hadn't heard Seifer laugh like that in a long time. It's not like there had been much to laugh at, but it sounded so good. It sounded like the Seifer of old. He would have said it sounded like going back in time, but even old Seifer didn't have much cause to laugh like that. He hadn't been happy enough until now.

"I can't really picture Squall as... liking sex, ya know? He doesn't even like shaking hands."

"Oh, he likes it." Seifer grinned at a particularly vivid memory. "He's just shy about physical contact, and masks it behind being a dick to strangers. Hell, he was shy about me seeing him naked for the first time."

"Rinoa wasn't," Raijin confided. Hyne, he'd missed talking to Seifer. About intimate things like this, about nonsense, about the news. About anything. "It wasn't anything like I imagined. Was it like that with Squall? I mean, you thought about Squall a lot longer than I ever fantasized about her, ya know, but.."

"No," Seifer said. "It was better. It was more real." His heart constricted in his chest, and he squeezed Squall's hand tight, stroking his wrist tendon then his palm. If Squall were awake, he'd purr in pleasure at the slow ministrations to his sensitive hands.

"When I kissed her back, where her wings come out, I could taste her magic. I don't think I'll ever forget it. Like eating something spicy, ya know? And her boobs are amazing."

"Squall's too."

Raijin tried to hide his laughter by coughing, but Seifer's serious, deadpan expression made him laugh outright. It hurt his sides, and felt really good.

Squall started stirring, and Raijin tried to gulp back his laughter. "Oh shit." He failed, and started giggling again, which got Seifer going as well.

Squall grunted and opened his eyes, head throbbing. He was used to the sound of Seifer laughing. He loved that sound. But he wasn't used to the sound of Raijin's laughter. He rolled his head on the stiff, medicinally smelling pillow and blinked sleepily, frowning at Raijin, then at Seifer. Their laughter stifled, and the looked guilty about something. "What?"

Seifer bit the inside of his lip, knowing that Squall would be pissed that Seifer was talking so intimately about him while he was laying there unconscious. He didn't know Raijin well enough yet to not be mortified that Seifer was divulging sexual things about what they did together.

"What?" Squall demanded.

"Nothing," Seifer urged, squeezing Squall's hand. But when he met Raijin's eyes, they couldn't help but dissolve into muffled laughter, Raijin snorting when he couldn't hold it back any longer. That just caused the two of them to laugh harder.

"Tell me," Squall demanded sleepily. "Were you talking about me?"

"Um..." Seifer murmured, not wanting to lie. "I love you."

"What are you telling him?" Squall asked, a slithery tone coming to his voice.

"How hot you are naked."

"What?" Squall tried to sit up, but the room spun. "I fucking hate you."

"No you don't."

Squall glared up at the other man, even though his eyes were closing once more. "No. I don't," he said quietly, smiling as he fell back asleep.

When Squall woke up next, he knew quite a while had passed. The doctors saw he was out of the woods, and let him rest on his own. He probably could have gone to his own bed, but he had a really shitty medical record right now, so they were probably keeping him to make sure he didn't get high off pills, or break his ribs _again_. His mind felt clearer than earlier, and his headache was only small.

Squall expected to see Seifer looking down at him with love, concern, and maybe even a bit of teasing in his peridot eyes, but instead he saw Laguna, looking tired, frazzled and older. Frailer.

"Did Kiros...?" Squall's mind immediately jumped to the worst-case scenario.

"No. He's strong as hell. He'll be okay, but it will take a while for him to heal." He grinned sadly. "I think we forget that we're not your age anymore. We can't just bounce back."

Squall pondered that his father could have a much deeper meaning with that phrase. "Where's Seifer?"

"Sleeping," Laguna answered. "Don't look so disappointed, munchkin. He needed the rest. He's been sitting here since we came back to the city. He needs to heal, too."

"I'm not disappointed that you're here," Squall answered truthfully.

"Yeah you are. Just a little. But that's okay. I know what it's like to be in love." Laguna frowned. "Thought I, and everyone, appreciates that you finally got rid of that bitch, it was abominably stupid for you to go in there alone."

"I know," Squall answered tartly. "But, I just..."

"You don't think before you act. I apologize, because you get that from me."

"Usually I just over think everything." He looked over at his tired looking father. "Do you ever see Mom?" He blurted out without thinking. He'd over thought this issue hundreds of times, and it was the first real time that he'd really breached this subject out loud.

"You mean... like a ghost?" Laguna asked, scratching his head.

Squall nodded.

"I sometimes get little feelings. Like back when Elle transported you back in time and I called it the 'faeries'. But... no." He sighed, a heartbreaking sound. "I've never seen her."

"I've seen more than just her, but I see her clearest. I've never told anyone that before. Not even Seifer or Quisty."

"Why? You think they wouldn't believe you?"

"I don't know. Maybe." Squall couldn't look at his father right now, because if he did, he was sure he'd start crying. He could feel the tears pressing in the back of his throat. "Maybe I didn't want to see disbelief in Seifer's eyes. Maybe I didn't want to feel like I was crazy. Maybe I thought if I talked about it, that it would stop happening, like a dream. Because I wanted to see her. I _want_ to."

"I don't think Seifer would ever disbelieve anything you said," Laguna said. His voice was thick with unshed tears. It was still hard to talk about Raine, even after all these years. "Not the way he looks at you."

"He'd be angry I didn't tell him. Quisty, too."

"No. Just tell them exactly what you told me."

"Have you ever cared about another woman... since Mom?"

"Sure. Not like I loved her, but... well, that's probably going to be impossible." Laguna grinned. "I still sometimes feel like I'm cheating on her if I notice a woman, but then I think of how silly she'd think that was." He paused. "Your friend Vanessa is nice."

Squall furrowed his brow and looked over at Laguna. "_Vanessa_? You like her?" He flushed.

"You don't think she's pretty?"

"Well, sure..." Squall felt his cheeks getting warm, talking about women Laguna thought were hot. "Isn't she a little young?"

"Not that young." True, there were quite a few years difference between them, with Laguna just past 50, and Vanessa in her mid-thirties. But Laguna _did_ think she was very attractive, and the fact she had a child made her even more appealing to him. Most men would find woman with a small child to be a turn-off, but Laguna loved her motherhood. The glow it gave her skin, the way she talked to her daughter, the maturity it gave her that had nothing to do with age. He loved the fullness of hips and breasts that came with pregnancy.

He studied Squall, who was looking at him in shock. "Does that bother you?"

"I..." Squall shook his head, eyes wide. Hyne, he looked so much like Raine "I just Huh."

"I'm not asking her to marry me, kiddo."

"I know. It's... it's great," he decided to say. Vanessa had a string of ugly relationship that had been flung out on the front page of every tabloid for years. Her daughter got dragged down into it. While dating the leader of the biggest and most powerful country in the world wasn't exactly shying away from the press, Esthar's embargo on tabloidism did combat that. Laguna could offer stability. He didn't care about her fame. He loved children. Squall's father was a good, good man. Any woman would be lucky to have him. "It's great," he said again, meaning it with every fibre of his being.

Laguna smiled. "You're great. You're the best son a father could ever want."

"Please don't," Squall muttered, wanting to hide his face in the pillow.

"Okay, okay. I'll stop embarrassing you." Laguna stood and bent over Squall, giving him a gentle one-armed hug, then a kiss on the top of his head. "I need to go check on Kiros, anyway."

Squall nodded as Laguna left. Being alone in his room felt kind of strange. Normally, he'd love the solitude, so his aversion to it seemed so alien. He really just wanted Seifer and Quistis with him, even if they weren't saying anything. He closed his eyes and thought about finally getting out of the hospital and sleeping in a regular bed with Seifer. They hadn't actually done that as lovers yet, except for that safe house in Timber. Squall knew that they wouldn't stay in Esthar. Seifer didn't much care for the city because of its lack of nature. Squall, while he wanted to be near his family, also missed the sound of the ocean. Would they go to Balamb, so near Garden again, or would they go to Dollet first so Seifer could finish school or work with DolletTV or whatever? Maybe they'd buy a house together, with an extra room for Quistis when she stayed with them, though they'd probably all just fall asleep in the same bed like a pile of kittens, just like they'd done in the Centra mountains.

His eyes popped open when he heard a small peep. Serino came into the room and lay in the crook of his arm. Squall grinned and stroked his fingers through the thick white fur. "Your aura seems really peaceful right now, kupo."

Squall grinned, closing his eyes again. His concussion made it easy to drift off to sleep. He missed having Seifer and Quistis beside him right now, but he felt far from lonely.

Tiernan, as a medical doctor, knew very well how long the healing process would be for Kiros, if he even healed at all. But that didn't stop him from panicking when days and days went by without any sign of recovery. He knew this was 'normal' for this kind of injury, but his heart didn't know that. He refrained from telling his co-workers how to treat his husband, but it was on the tip of his tongue. He wanted to scream at them for being incompetent, because Kiros wasn't getting well fast enough.

In the four weeks since Eden's attack on him, Kiros had shown brief signs of waking, but still seemed so far away from it. He'd lost a great amount of weight, and looked skeletal, since he'd been so lean to begin with. Each day, Tiernan composed things in his head that he wanted to be the final words to the man who'd given him his life back after Adel had taken it away. Funnily enough, Tiernan hadn't even really liked him much when they'd first met. There had been plenty of sexual tension, though. Immediately, Tiernan had seen this tall, lean man with his skin tone that stood out in a room full of pale Estharians, and wanted him. He'd wanted him with a blinding passion, even if he was Galbadian. Even if he was the companion of that buffoon who'd defeated Adel. Everyone had appreciated what Laguna had done, of course, but there was that worry that they would be replacing one dictator for another. And this time, the dictator wouldn't be a natural leader like a Sorceress, but a potential puppet for the hated Galbadian regime.

Kiros hadn't hid that he'd been cruising Tiernan, either. His dark eyes burned with the potential of hot, rough, passionate sex, speaking Estharian fluidly, but with a pure Deling City accent. He wore gold liner around his nearly black eyes, and coloured braids in his hair, flying in the face of Estharian polite society in a way that both scandalized and intrigued the then hospital intern. In fact, that night after sharing tense conversation over champagne at a Palace celebration where Adel's bronze statues had been torn down and melted, Tiernan had willingly and quickly gone down to his knees in front of Kiros in a locked private bathroom. He'd relished in sucking him off and feeling Kiros's smooth cinnamon skin under his fingertips. He'd eagerly swallowed his semen and kept licking and caressing until Kiros quickly got hard again, then performed the act all over again. He'd done all this and loved it, but figured he'd never see the foreigner again.

But they'd seen each other several more times. Their conversations became less stilted and more fluid. Tiernan, who'd been horrified by a Galbadian after decades of a cold war between their nations, quickly became fascinated by his stories. He'd grown to crave the sound of Kiros's laugh. They'd come to share each other's bodies every night. Tiernan still remembered how his heart had stopped in his chest for a moment when he'd first heard Kiros say 'I love you'. He'd never thought he'd feel love again after what happened in Penhorn, but it had found him again, and utterly consumed him.

He remembered the day they got married, eloping to Fisherman's Horizon, then sailing around Balamb's Albatross Archipelago for their honeymoon. They'd made love with nothing but sun and sea surrounding them. Tiernan had said in their vows that death would not separate them, that their souls were now one in Hyne's eyes. He knew death better than most people, not only as a doctor, but because of what he'd seen from Azabaashe, but he hadn't given any consideration to the fact that Kiros could die, or even that he would. He seemed like he would live forever, and Tiernan always assumed he would go first, and Kiros would just continue to effortlessly run Esthar.

He couldn't resign himself to the idea that Kiros would go first, and that the city could survive without him. That Tiernan could survive without him. The idea of saying goodbye burned behind Tiernan's eyes. He didn't think he'd ever be able to cry again, what with all the tears he'd already shed, but the tears kept coming. He pressed Kiros's left hand between both of his own, and wept bitterly against his fingers, so warm and brown against the white starchiness of the gloves Tiernan had to wear just to touch his own husband. The tears and snot got caught up in the surgical mask he wore, and he just wanted to rip it off and kiss Kiros's face.

He put Kiros's hand down so he could compose himself. "Remember how we promised we'd go sailing every year after our honeymoon?" Tiernan asked in the dark, his voice sounding small and alone. Like when he'd spoken to the bodies of his parents and friends in the dark of the Penhorn winery, corralled in like cattle by Azabaashe, then left to fend for themselves against his undead creations.

"It turned into every few years. Remember when we sailed up the coast around Grandidi Forest? When we saw the wild chocobos migrating? Your skin got so dark with all that nude sunbathing you were doing. Not that I was complaining," he said with a chuckle, wiping his cheeks, though the tears still fell. "You had that all-white outfit, and it made you look so hot. We swore we'd go back. Or that we'd try sailing around Trabia, or to Dollet. Life got in the way, though." The last time they'd sailed anywhere had been eight years before, and they'd only taken a short trip to Fisherman's Horizon, then back again because neither could take more time away.

"I want that again. Not caring about our responsibilities. Just sailing wherever we wanted. How sexy you looked while working the rigging. The sound of the water as we fell asleep. How salty your skin tasted because of the sweat and the sea water in the air. I wish we'd gone more times. I wish we hadn't said 'maybe next year' so many times." Tiernan raised his face to the ceiling, trying to will away the tears. "I'd take you right now, if you'd just wake up and stop breaking my heart like this. I promise."

He gasped, terrified, by the rattling noise that came from Kiros's chest. His lips were moving, and raspy whispering came from his mouth. "Kiros?" Tiernan exclaimed, leaning over his spouse. Kiros's eyes were slightly open, and his throat worked as he tried to speak. Tiernan's eyes went to the machinery, checking on his vitals.

"Shhh," Tiernan urged, seeing that Kiros's heartbeat was a little too fast. "Just relax." He pulled a penlight from the pocket of his surgical scrubs and examined Kiros's eyes.

Kiros continued to make the rattling whispering noise, fingers weakly scrambling for Tiernan's wrist. "I'm gonna hold you to that promise," Kiros managed to get out, one corner of his mouth cocking up into at tired, weak grin.

"You were awake that whole time?" Tiernan asked, a little angrily. The machines that looked at magical residue in the blood showed a lowered, but still concerning, level in Kiros's system. Tiernan went to his IV drip, and adjusted the medicine level.

"Sorry," Kiros rasped.

"You're apologizing?" Tiernan asked, panting because his emotions were beginning to overwhelm him. As opiates slowly flooded into Kiros's blood, Tiernan bowed forward, his head coming to rest on Kiros's collarbone. He breathed in the sterile, astringent smell of the hospital gown and sheets, with Kiros's natural smell lingering underneath. He wept bitterly, Kiros's fingers weakly squeezing his wrist.

Kiros wanted to say something to comfort Tiernan, to say that he wouldn't let that abomination of Adel's kill him. He wanted to tell Tiernan how much he loved him. But the drugs in his IV were starting to kick in, so he couldn't even properly hold his distraught husband. He could only limply hold his wrist, hoping that Tiernan knew how strongly he felt. As the drugs took him over, he tried to concentrate on the memory of the smell of sea air and salt water, instead of the smell of rotten flowers.

"I'm surprised by how not-awkward that was," Seifer commented, carefully placing his suit jacket over the back of a chair. The way Squall looked in his suit made Seifer want to rip both their clothes off, but the suit was really expensive and had been a gift from Laguna, so he didn't want to ruin it. "I'm really proud of you, Kitten."

Seifer was referring to the dinner they'd just gone to with Raijin, Rinoa, Quistis and Jurgen. Seifer had worried that it would be strange for Squall and Rinoa to have a double-date together where they weren't there as a couple. And, it was also the first chance Squall had to interact with Raijin and Rinoa as a pair. He'd expected a lot of tense silence on his lover's behalf, but he'd been downright pleasant. Well, pleasant for him. Everyone else still had to do all the conversational heavy-lifting for him, but there hadn't been a single 'whatever', and he hadn't batted an eye when Rinoa vaguely mentioned intimate things about her new relationship.

"What were you expecting?" Squall asked, gently batting Seifer's hands away when he started to undo his own tie. Squall started doing it for him, using it as an excuse to stand closer. "Did you think I'd jump across the table and slit Raijin's throat?"

"I'd like to think I would have stopped you before it got that far," Seifer said lightly, though his heart was beating faster.

"Are you still worried I have feelings for her?" Squall asked with raised eyebrows, slowly sliding the lavender silk tie out from the collar of Seifer's even paler purple shirt. He dragged the gesture out so it became intensely erotic. Next, he started to undo Seifer's belt.

"No. But you are very socially moronic."

Squall grunted, but he couldn't really argue. "You think that Quisty is telling Jurgen she's leaving with us?" He threaded the belt out through the loops of Seifer's white suit pants. Hyne, he looked so yummy that the erection that had been threatening to happen all dinner now made itself known again.

"She really likes him," Seifer said sadly. "I'd hate to think she's leaving a good thing just because of us." They were planning on leaving Esthar in a couple of weeks. They'd already rented out an apartment in Dollet's college area, which they would keep while Seifer tried to finish up some of his courses. While finishing his degree wasn't necessary for the television project, he wanted to finish _something_ in his academic career for once. Beyond that, Seifer had commented about building a house in Balamb, giving both Squall and Quistis a stern glare.

Neither of them were ready to return to Garden just yet, especially not with Xu's trial still going on. Quistis had told Seifer privately that she knew she'd have to be the one to go back first, and then Squall's aversion to it would falter afterwards. Seifer agreed, but he knew that it would still take more than that. Squall would need a _huge_ push to go back, for he wasn't nearly as forgiving as Quistis. Or as practical.

"Quistis would never do anything just for us, or just for him. If he really wants to be with her, he'll have to accept that," Seifer pointed out as Squall tugged on the front of his pants, shuffling them towards the bed. He gently pulled Seifer down on top of him, nudging his cane onto the floor. On top of him like this, Seifer could feel Squall's erection against him.

Seifer began to slowly disrobe Squall, starting by painstakingly unbuttoning his blood-red shirt that so wonderfully brought out the auburn cast of his hair. Squall grunted with impatience, which just made Seifer grin in the way he used to when they'd always be at each other's throats as cadets. He let one fingertip just barely brush over the tip of Squall's left nipple as he slowly trailed his hands down to Squall's waistband, pulling the shirt out.

Squall tried to quickly get out of his clothes, but Seifer used the sleeves of the shirt to keep Squall's arms gently pinned to the mattress, wanting to take his time. As more and more of Squall's torso was bared to him, Seifer felt a tightness in his lower abdomen. He still hadn't gotten a real erection since going off his medication, but there were times, like now, that he felt like one would happen. He didn't want to tell Squall, because if it didn't happen, he didn't want to disappoint him. Or disappoint himself. So instead he concentrated on Squall's body, on how much he loved him, on giving him pleasure, and also frustrating him a bit. That little bit of anger in Squall's eyes was irresistible.

Squall exhaled loudly when Seifer's hands slowly and firmly petted down his thighs while he bowed his head, warm breath washing over one nipple. Squall arched towards Seifer's mouth, but was denied. Instead, Seifer looked up and grinned, breathing a trail down the center of Squall's torso as his hands moved back up Squall's thighs, beginning the slow process of unbuttoning his pants. Squall's erection strained obviously against the fabric, but Seifer made sure not to touch it, causing Squall to curse under his breath, his hips bucking up almost involuntarily. Seifer's tongue came out and quickly scorched a line across Squall's navel. It happened so quickly that Squall wasn't quite sure that Seifer had touched him at all, except for the warm trail of saliva he'd left behind. Seifer then dragged his teeth down Squall's belly, stopping just before his chin touched the bulge in Squall's pants.

"Fuck you," Squall hissed as Seifer's fingers moved up and stopped just below his nipple.

Seifer just grinned again, knowing that even as Squall cursed him out, he loved this. Seifer let his middle finger slide up and stroke across the hard nub of Squall's nipple as his mouth moved to Squall's trapped arm. He finally pulled away the beautiful red shirt, his tongue sliding down Squall's inner forearm, tracing the blue veins laying just under his soft skin. He continued to lick down the line of his arm until his tongue traced the lines of Squall's palm, which caused the man laying under him to moan instantly.

Squall became so distracted by Seifer's tongue slowly tracing the lines of his hand that he didn't even realize that his pants and underwear were now being pulled off his body. He rolled his hips to try and get friction to his cock from any part of Seifer's body he could touch. He wanted Seifer's mouth around his erection, and yet he didn't want him to stop licking his palm. Seifer must have sensed what he wanted, because he did neither, and sat up like a complete bastard. He was still completely and unfairly dressed, and his cheeks had a sexy flush in them. His eyes glinted mischievously.

Squall vaulted himself up off the bed, fingers nimbly working to take Seifer's shirt off. It was brand new, so he at least maintained enough patience to not rip all the buttons off. In the past six weeks since Ultimecia's death, Seifer had started working out like a man possessed. He knew that if he was going back to school, he'd be out in the wilderness again, and needed to be even more fit than he was before, now that he'd have to work harder to get around with his bum leg. The all-over muscle definition had returned, and it made Squall groan with pure, almost savage lust when he finally got Seifer naked.

His eyes looked down at Seifer's penis, still soft. He didn't let himself get disappointed, because he knew that Seifer still enjoyed what they did. He traced the scar where Seifer's right testicle had been. He loved doing that. Not only because it was so very intimate, but because he knew that no matter how much Squall tried to convince him, Seifer would always be sensitive about it. Squall found the scar just as sexy as the rest of him. When his thumb moved over the scar, Seifer's hands none-too-gently cupped the sides of Squall's face, and tilted his head up for a deep kiss. Squall gripped Seifer's hips and slammed them against his own, working his own pelvis to gain stimulation.

Seifer pushed Squall back, making a mocking 'tsk' noise in the back of his throat. Squall's stomach moved up and down dramatically, and his cock twitched against his belly. Seifer dug deep to find the patience to not just assault this perfect man laying with legs splayed and hair hanging in his lust-darkened eyes. He bowed forward and breathed across Squall's nipple again, this time letting the tip of his tongue flick out and caress it. Squall groaned and arched his back, fingers sliding up Seifer's back, tracing the lines, scars and pits of his burn marks. Seifer used one finger to trace a path up Squall's inner thigh, using a feather-light touch to touch between his testicles, continuing the path up the underside of his erection, until his finger reached up to the tip, slick with precum.

Squall was fully and heavily panting by now, his brow furrowed with desire and frustration. He was moaning loudly when Seifer's fingers finally closed around his erection and started stroking him, but he didn't even realize he was making noise. His eyes rolled in the back of his head, and his whole body was tense, aching and arching up to Seifer's body, feeling an orgasm so very close. He knew that Seifer felt it too, and that's why he pulled his hand away from Squall's leaking cock.

"Fuck!" Squall cursed, breath coming out in a whine. "Goddamn you."

Seifer chuckled against Squall's chest, fully taking Squall's nipple into his mouth, sucking on the hard nub. Squall's hips erratically rubbed against him, trying to find any kind of friction, any kind of release from the pressure building in his body, centred around his crotch. Seifer's hand moved past his cock, down under his balls, to touch his perineum. He pressed up against it with his thumb, causing Squall to make a desperate mewling noise. While his thumb continued to press into the sensitive skin, Seifer's fingers danced down around Squall's crack, then stroked around the opening to his body.

Squall, even through his blinding lust and desire to cum, found a tube of lubricant and tossed it down the mattress to Seifer. Seifer none-too-gently bit into his nipple as he lubed up his fingers. He bit just hard enough to hurt in that way that was beautiful pleasure with a stinging edge. He groaned when he felt Seifer's fingers enter him, loving it, but feeling a grim resignation. He wanted it to be Seifer's cock. He wanted to feel that again, that same pleasure with the warm edge of pain, both melding so close together that they could never be separated. He wanted to feel Seifer ejaculate inside him. He wanted to feel owned and used by him, and feel the pure intimacy of looking into his eyes at that moment. His already engorged and swollen cock twitched at the memory and want of it.

Squall was now so far gone in his desire for release that he made involuntary noises of pleasure and desperation as Seifer stroked his prostate from within and without. Squall writhed under the touch, eyelids fluttering under the assault of waves of pleasure. Seifer rolled him over, and his hips immediately started grinding against the sheets. His hands searched for his own cock, but Seifer slapped his hands away, tongue moving down his back as he pinned Squall's hands down against the bed. Seifer bit into the firm swell of Squall's ass as his tongue continued to travel to where his fingers had touched only moments before. As Seifer's tongue slid a slow circle around the tight ring of Squall's rectum, he felt a jolt in his groin. Like a mule kick, his cock twitched, reacting more than it had since that day in the stunted, cold forest in the Centra mountains - where Squall had first said 'I love you'. Where they'd made love for what had almost been the last time.

When he probed Squall with his tongue, a quick in-and-out, Squall moaned and made the most heavenly noises that Seifer had ever heard. Those noises caused his cock to kick again, blood flowing again in an almost painful rush. The feeling of his penis hardening shocked Seifer enough that he stopped all ministrations on his lover's body. He regained himself quickly though, and continued to lick Squall's asshole, his tongue fully moving inside. On one hand, Seifer wanted to use this first erection in so long to milk more pleasure from Squall's body, but he knew that a couple pumps from a hand, or a couple licks from a tongue would cause him to blow. So instead he decided to be a little devious. He got Squall's hands pinned with only one of his, and used the other one to jerk off the now raging erection between his legs.

Hell, he'd actually missed jerking off. It was kind of silly, but it was like seeing an old, familiar friend that he'd been separated from for a long time. His tongue now fully moved within Squall, and he gasped when he felt a quick, surprising release. His semen felt hot and sticky against his hand, more than usual. He hadn't had any kind of release in weeks and weeks, so it had built up. Or maybe it just seemed like more because of the absence. His cock dwindled in his hand a little, but didn't fully go soft. How could it when he was touching Squall like this, when Squall was moaning and panting like that?

Seifer continued to push his tongue into Squall, working his jaw and tongue to produce more saliva. Squall was so distracted by being rimmed that he didn't even consider to look that Seifer actually had an erection. He didn't notice when Seifer reached for the lube again and coated his cock, now rock hard again. All he felt was Seifer's tongue darting in and out of him and his strong hands holding Squall's wrists down in gentle restraint. Squall tried to struggle out of the grasp, wanting to relieve the pressure of his erection, but Seifer tightened his grip, fingers replacing his tongue. Seifer's mouth now closed around Squall's left testicle, then his right.

He started kissing up Squall's spine, nipping and tugging at the taut flesh with his teeth, relishing in the taste of Squall's sweat. Squall tried to lower his hips to the mattress, wanting _some_ sort of friction, some sort of way to end this stalemate, moaning freely and loudly. But Seifer again stopped that. He reared up to his knees, pulling Squall up with him. He didn't really intend for it, but the motion caused his erection to rub against Squall's inner thigh, then up against the underside of his scrotum. Squall was so fargone that he didn't notice at first. When he did, his back stiffened in surprise, and he forced himself out from under Seifer's grip and turned around.

He looked down at Seifer's erection, hard, slick and shiny, dripping precum. He looked up at Seifer's face with shock on his own. Seifer just grinned sheepishly and gave a shrug. Squall stared at him with something like anger, all the while his lower body tightening as if saying 'I want that thing inside me. Now.' Seifer had been busy, his cock slicked and ready to go.

"You fucking bastard," Squall ground out angrily, crawling forward and getting his thighs around Seifer's hips, keening desperately when his cock rubbed against Seifer's. He groaned in frustration when Seifer firmly gripped his hips and shoved him backwards, so he wound up on his back with legs spread wide. "Goddammit, fuck me!" Squall panted. He tried to reach for Seifer's erection, but the other man gripped his wrists and splayed them, crucifixion style, out to the sides. "You want me to beg?" Squall asked, eyes dark with lust and anger.

"Kinda," Seifer grinned, his own voice thick and gruff with want. He spread Squall's legs wider with his thighs, letting his cock rub between his ass cheeks, against the lubricated, slightly opened entry to his body.

"Fuck me," Squall hissed. "Fuck. Me."

"That's some really shitty begging," Seifer commented dryly, though his whole body shook and his brain had to work really hard to override his body's desire to just bury himself balls-deep inside Squall's body.

"Fucking goddamn asshole," Squall cursed under his breath, not even knowing what he was saying. "Fuck! Please! Please!" He thrashed against Seifer's grip, hips rolling and trying to get Seifer's cock exactly where he wanted it. He made an inhuman mewl. "Seifer..." That one word had more desperation in it than nearly anything he'd ever said.

"Please..." Squall begged again, any words following dying in his throat as Seifer pushed into him in one single, slow thrust. His mouth opened in a silent wail, the muscles and tendons of his neck pulled tight as his head arched back. He felt his rectal muscles yielding in a delicious, heavenly burn, Seifer making the strangled groan that was stuck somewhere in his own throat. Seifer gave a few more slow, experimental thrusts as he found a rhythm and let Squall's body adjust. Squall's toes curled in the sheets as Seifer's thrusts got harder and faster, hands still pinning Squall's wrists down.

Seifer could feel the strain in his leg as he thrust harder and harder into his boyfriend. But he didn't care. Let his leg hurt. Everything else felt like heaven. His hips were slamming against Squall's roughly as he threw everything he had, months of sexual frustration, into the motions of his hips. He thrust harder and harder, knowing that Squall could take it. Hell, that Squall _wanted_ it. He'd almost forgotten how fucking good it felt to have Squall's internal muscles gripping him like a hot fist, to hear Squall moaning like that, to feel his one remaining testicle pulling up towards his belly with the anticipation of release. He even felt the same ghostly reaction in the testicle that Astor had taken away from him.

Even though he'd just come, he felt another orgasm impending, and nearing quickly. He finally relinquished his grip on Squall's wrists and pulled out as he flipped the other man over with a fair amount of roughness. He then bowed over Squall and thrust back into him eagerly and almost viciously.

Squall cried out, but in pure ecstasy. Now that he was on his stomach, Squall rubbed and humped his hips against the mattress, finally getting some stimulation to his aching cock. Seifer was definitely not being gentle with him and he'd probably be kind of sore tomorrow, but he didn't care. Hyne, he did not fucking care. He knew that Seifer would stop if he said to, or if Seifer heard any pain in the noises he made. Squall trusted Seifer not to hurt him, and Seifer trusted Squall to know his own body's limits. It was so fucking intimate that it made tears sting his eyes.

His hand moved between his body and the mattress, finding his own penis. He just couldn't take it anymore, and he needed to come. His internal muscles constricted and jerked around Seifer, who made a noise that was so sexual and animalistic and masculine that it, more than any stimulation his gave himself, was what caused Squall to finally fall off that edge into a hard, nearly painful orgasm that blacked his vision and made his ears ring. He felt his own semen, hot and sticky, smearing against his stomach as he writhed and humped against the erection that was still thrusting hard into him.

Seifer felt Squall's orgasm all around him, in how his skin glistened and dripped with sweat, how Seifer could smell the sex in the air, how his normally milky complexion was red and flushed and his skin felt hot under the touch. How his internal muscles coiled and constricted and jerked all around him. By now, his thrusts were so dramatic that he was pulling completely out, then diving back in up to the hilt. When he came, it nearly shocked him. Of course he hadn't forgotten what it felt like to have an orgasm, but it _felt_ like he had. That tension starting in his scrotum, moving up his ass to his back, shooting up his spine like an electrical current. His leg muscles strained and his blood boiled with the need for release. He couldn't hold himself up as the waves of euphoria, like punches to his stomach, caused him to collapse on Squall's sweaty back. He moaned into Squall's equally sweaty hair, loving the masculine, salty smell of him. Squall found his hands, and Seifer squeezed back tight as he rode the waves of pleasure, a helpless passenger in his own body.

Seifer's grip on Squall's hands lessened as he raggedly breathed into the back of his neck. Squall's ears still rang, like he was underwater. When he tried to move his head, he got dizzy from the lack of blood. He was still panting and moaning quietly, unable to control the noises he made as the orgasm washed through Squall's body like aftershocks. He felt that Seifer on top of him was shaking and shivering just as much as he was.

It took a long time before either of them could move, let alone speak. What was there to say, though? Their bodies had said everything, and they were content to just lay there, with Seifer's weight pressed down on Squall, their sweaty skin drying as their breathing slowly regulated. Both their hearts still raced and pounded against their ribcages. But their accelerated heartbeats really didn't have anything to do with orgasm anymore. Even as they both breathed normally, their hearts still beat fast. Just from being near each other.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

Zell commanded the hot dog vendor on the corner to pile on even more sauerkraut. It was a beautiful day, the spring rains having finally let up in Balamb Town. The sunshine meant that everyone in town wanted to get outside and feel it on their skin. To Zell's delight, this also meant that the street corner hot dog vendors in town would start wheeling out again. Ever since Garden changed their cafeteria catering company and the hot dogs had lost all their fantastic flavour, he'd been looking forward to this day.

"Come on, dude. I want your wrist to be buckling under the weight of that kraut."

"Why don't you just order another hot dog?" The vendor asked, scowling. They all knew Zell rather intimately.

"Because then word would get back to my mother." Zell put some gil down and took the hot dog, almost instantly shoving half into his mouth. "She's always on my case about eating healthier."

"Well, hopefully your fear of your mother won't stop you from buying," the vendor pointed out as another customer walked up to his cart. "How else would I pay my rent?"

"Ha ha, asshole." Zell wandered away from the cart, munching happily on his meal. His pleased mood soured when his eyes roamed to the magazine stand next door. The front of the local papers all showed Xu's face, talking about her impending execution. Of course Zell knew about it, since he'd been in the audience of the Garden tribunal, but seeing it now open to the public just made it... he didn't even know. His feelings about Xu were still so tangled. He distinctly remembered Quistis's face, stony and blank. She hadn't spoken of the tribunal since, whenever he'd see her around Garden.

It had been nearly two years of a dragging, messy trial where Xu kept paying lawyers to find legal loopholes for an appeal. In that time, Quistis had come back to Garden to teach, stating clearly she wanted nothing to do with administration. Squall still hadn't come back, but Zell had heard rumours that Instructor Pellani, the language teacher, was retiring because of rheumatoid arthritis, and Squall's name came up often. He'd always been remarkable at languages, particularly the difficult to master dialogs of Esthar.

Zell didn't know if Squall wanted the job or not, because he'd barely seen his former friend. Quistis was polite to him, but there was a cold distance that made his heart break. He'd actually seen Seifer more than Squall, strangely enough. Seifer was moderately famous in his own right because of his show on Dollet television, but when he wasn't filming on location, he'd taken a position as a herpetological liaison with the Balamb Town zoo. He was overseeing a possible tonberry pavilion, and also took care of milking the zoo's snakes, and offered education on the life of wild Centran reptiles.

To Zell's chagrin, amidst all the shots of Xu, there was a men's health and fitness magazine that actually had Seifer Almasy on the cover. It did nothing to brighten his mood. Neither did the fact that Seifer looked really tanned and cut, and Zell's body had been softening as Garden sent him out in the field less and less because of teaching duties. He was still in great shape, but it was something he'd noticed and zeroed in on every time he looked in the mirror or put on a pair of pants and saw a little bit of skin bumping over the waistband. He would have lost his appetite if it were anything except hot dogs in his mouth.

A month prior, Zell had actually gone for a coffee with Seifer. They'd passed each other on the sidewalk and had a brief, awkward conversation, where the ice had been broken by Seifer insulting his outfit. Other than walking with a slight limp, and thin scars on his face that only showed up when he stood in certain sunlight, Seifer almost looked like nothing had ever even happened to him. He was confident, muscular, handsome and commanded attention with every movement, though his eyes gave it all away. There was a sadness in them, a humility and humanity. The fashion insult had felt like old times, as had the flash of indignant anger on Zell's behalf, so they'd gone to the nearest cafe.

"Are you going to go to Xu's sentencing hearing?" Zell had asked when they'd found a table, mugs of fancy coffee in front of them.

"No," Seifer had answered easily. Surely. "I don't... need to. I'm done with her. She ceased to exist a long time ago for me. You?"

"I don't know," Zell answered, feeling strange to be so open with a man who'd bullied him so mercilessly throughout his childhood. While this Seifer may have still flung the sarcastic, quick insults with ease and skill, he had a new layer of compassion in him that made it easy to talk to him. "I know that Garden's going to ask for SeeD to be witnesses to her execution. Maybe it will finally seem final if I agree. But..."

"You loved her. You can't always change those feelings, no matter how much the person is acting like a complete dick."

Zell cocked his head, sensing the personal undertones. "Like when Squall was drinking."

Seifer leaned back in his chair and gave a brief shrug.

"How... how is he?" Zell asked, the subject of Squall having been breached. Quistis always just said 'really well' when Zell asked. He wondered if he'd get the same non-answer from the man sitting across from him.

The smile that broke across Seifer's face could have put the sun to shame, and it told more than any words. If Squall were feeling the same amount of happiness that made Seifer's eyes sparkle, then he was doing more than 'really well'.

"I think he likes being a househusband," Seifer said, smirking. "I'm sure your mother told you we bought that place on Cherrybark?"

"Yeah, she knew pretty much the day it got sold."

"It needed a lot of work. Hell, it still needs work, and Squall's done a lot of it himself. He started digging up the backyard to make little hovels for Sunny. Serino didn't really appreciate it."

"Who's Sunny? New cat?"

"My tonberry. I rescued her when her tribe threw her out. She'd been wandering around outside the Centra Ruins. I know I'm not supposed to interfere because it's playing Hyne, but... I couldn't just leave her. Her unwillingness to conform to their society reminded me of me."

"Jeez, how many animals do you have now, anyway?"

"Well, Bahamut and Serino don't really count, because they're more companions than pets." Bahamut had been loathed to leave Dinara's son again, and often hung around their house in miniature form, a dragon about the size of a large house cat. Serino came and went as he pleased, having found a female in the Balamb mountain ranges, but he seemed to consider Squall and Seifer's gardens his home. Squall had also almost immediately rescued a few cats from the shelter when they'd bought the house. And, whenever Rinoa and Raijin came over, they also brought over their two dogs - a little teacup terrier that Raijin often carried in the crook of his arm, and a large elkhound, so it made quite the menagerie. They also had the occasional visitor in Serino's arch-nemesis, the raccoon who lived just beyond their property.

"I'm surprised you two haven't wanted to kill each other yet."

"We still fight," Seifer said nonchalantly. "All couples do. But me going away for a month or so at a time probably helps us stay together," he chuckled. "Frankly, my dick is glad when I go away. He wears me out."

Zell was glad that he'd only brought the mug to his lips and hadn't yet sipped, because he would have spit hot coffee all over the place.

"What?" Seifer demanded at the shocked look on Zell's face. "Grow up, Dincht."

"I... I can't picture Squall having sex. Like... ever." It's not like Zell went around picturing dudes he knew having sex, but he _knew_ that they did, and the idea wasn't outlandish. But Squall always seemed so sexless to him.

"Why does everyone think that! He's an animal. I can't keep up with him. I'd feel old and tired, except he's hot as hell and it's amazing."

"Please. Stop."

"He's so pent up all the time, when he lets loose, he just wants to get pounded."

"Stop."

Seifer grinned wolfishly, loving to see Zell squirm. He was sure Squall would be _furious_ at him talking so openly about their sex life to Zell Dincht of all people, but Seifer was enjoying himself too much.

"I thought that... you know... isn't it dangerous to the body to... urr, ummm... have so much anal sex?"

Seifer rolled his eyes and made a face that always seemed to be reserved for talking to Zell Dincht. "There are more ways to have sex than just penetration. Your lack of imagination makes me weep. I feel sorry for any of your girlfriends. Well... except for Xu. She deserves bad sex."

"I'm good at sex!" Zell protested loudly. When he got a couple of annoyed and scandalized stares, especially from a nearby girl with a very pretty face and long legs shown off by short-shorts, his face flushed and he glared daggers at Seifer and kicked his foot under the table. "You never..." Zell leaned back in his chair. "You never... thought about me, did you?"

"Thought about you... what?" Seifer raised his hands expectantly, thought he very well knew the answer. He'd just wanted to goad Zell into verbalizing it.

"You never wanted to have sex with me, did you?"

Seifer threw his head back and laughed. People looked over, some of the gazes lingering. Including, to Zell's horror, the cute girl who'd flashed him the evil eye only moments before. Damn bastard got all he attention, even from girls.

"Well, you _do_ have a rockin' body. Maybe if I were really, really, _really_ drunk or high, and I knew I wouldn't remember it the next morning."

Zell tossed some money down on the table for his coffee, ears burning. "You're such a dick."

"Or maybe with a bag over your head," he added, still laughing. "Oh, no wait! With a ball gag in your mouth so I wouldn't have to hear you talk."

Zell stuck his middle finger in Seifer's face. "Fuck. You."

"Nah... I think even with the gag, I'd still need the bag over your face," he replied as Zell stormed out, cursing under his breath.

Now, Zell thought back to that conversation when he spotted the familiar figure of Squall Leonhart across the street, full of lean, feline-like grace. He wasn't alone, but strangely he wasn't with Seifer or Quistis or Raijin, or even Rinoa. He wasn't even with an adult. A small child stood next to him, pointing something out in the window of the weapons parts store. One of his hands was encased in Squall's, and Serino was perched on the child's back, like a fluffy knapsack.

Zell downed the last bite of his hot dog and jogged across the street. "Uh, hey!" He greeted, putting up his hands when Squall started, surprised. "It's just me, dude."

"Oh. Hello," Squall greeted, full of the same cold politeness he'd been forced to show back when they were Garden cadets. Hell, that conversation a month ago with Seifer really made it feel like Zell had gone back in time in regards to both men. Except that Squall and Seifer were now in a relationship, but that had even been rumoured during their school days. Even back then, everyone had sensed that Seifer and Squall _understood_ each other on a level that went deeper than anyone could fathom. Apparently, even deeper than both men had been able to understand back then. It seemed destined that they were soul mates.

"Haven't seen you in a while," Zell said, shuffling his feet. Squall stared back at him with blank eyes, but at least he wasn't coldly and quietly telling Zell off. It was probably due to the presence of the small boy, who now pressed himself against Squall's leg, turning his face into his hip in painful shyness. Zell saw the burn of blush in his very pale cheeks. "Is he yours?" Quistis hadn't mentioned that Seifer and Squall adopted a child, but there was an air of familiarity between Squall and the boy.

"I'm babysitting," Squall answered tersely. "This is Vivi. Vivi's mom works at the zoo with Seifer."

"Vivi, huh? Different name." Zell crouched down to the boy's level. He had unusual colouring, with pale ash blond hair that looked almost silver, and the most extraordinary gold eyes Zell had ever seen, large and luminous in his face. His cheekbones were very high, and his eyes slanted upward and were almond-shaped to give him a very exotic appearance.

"It's short for Victor Vincent."

"Hi, I'm Zell," he greeted cheerfully.

The boy mumbled a little 'hello' that got lost in Squall's leg. He couldn't have been more than four or five, but he had a very intelligent gleam in his eye, and a strange magical aura that Zell could sense because he'd forgotten to disjunction Ifrit after training potential SeeD at handling GF.

"What you got there?" Zell asked, gesturing to the parcel that Vivi clutched in his free hand.

"We're building a motorcycle," Vivi answered, voice barely louder than the sound of the ocean in the background.

"It's for Seifer," Squall answered, looking down at the boy with a rather paternal look in his eye. "We're rebuilding a Hammerhead for his birthday, since his other one got stolen when he had to leave it behind." Squall's words sounded like casual conversation, but the underlying tone in them made Zell feel like he'd been kicked in the balls. Obviously Squall hadn't forgiven or forgotten yet.

"We have to go." Squall gave Vivi's arm a gentle tug and they went towards the entrance of the junk store.

"Can we get the clock for Sunny?" Vivi asked, shyness melting away now that it was just him and Squall. He didn't do well with strangers, and only really talked to his mother, and now Squall, Seifer and Quistis when she came over to visit. He was still wary around Raijin and Rinoa, but at least he didn't run away whenever they showed up any more. Most children warmed up to Raijin first, but Vivi was more intrigued by Rinoa because he sensed her magic in a way that was highly unusual for a child so young.

"Yes. Maybe she'll leave the fuse box alone if she has it." Sunny loved to dismantle things, and Squall and Seifer often bought her junked machines or such things so she'd leave their stuff alone.

"I'm really good at fixing things!" Zell called.

Squall stopped, forgetting that Zell was even there. He looked over his shoulder and saw the sad, desperate look on Zell's face.

"I know a lot about engines... I could help you find parts for it. Pieces for Hammerheads are really hard to come by, and a little finicky."

"I'm realizing that," Squall answered truthfully, Zell's pitiable expression making him let his guard down momentarily. It might have also been the fact that the engine _was_ really annoying to try and get working. He had the motorcycle hidden in a garage he'd rented out in town, and worked on it whenever Seifer was at work or out of town with Raijin filming. He'd had the hulk of the thing for over six months, and knew he'd grossly exaggerated his mechanical skills.

"I know some mechanics in Deling City that work with a lot of military stuff," Zell said in a rush, seizing hold of the opportunity to talk to Squall again. "The army usually keeps the stuff for scrap, but they could probably sneak it out if I ask."

Squall didn't want to ask Zell for _anything_, but he knew that this motorcycle would surprise the hell out of Seifer and that he'd loved his old one. "Well... I am having a hard time finding a gas tank."

"I can do that!" Zell exclaimed, punching the air with his fist with enough exuberance that Vivi flinched and cowered behind Squall. "So you'll let me help you, dude?"

"... maybe." Squall cocked his head. "That's not a promise, though."

"I'll take it."

Squall silently nodded in that way he had that said 'I want to end this conversation now'. Zell watched Squall and the kid go into the tinkerer's store, overjoyed that he was being given even the slimmest of chances for redemption. Those were the only kinds he'd ever get from Squall, but there was still hope. After all, if Squall Leonhart of all people could look perfectly at home with a child, then anything was possible, really.

"Did you know that there are cash rewards, and substantial ones at that, to anyone who gets their hands on a sex tape of the two of you?" Quistis asked, laying on the oversized cushioned swing in Seifer and Squall's backyard. It was a beautiful day where the sun shone almost relentlessly, but an ocean breeze kept it from getting too humid.

"Really?" Seifer asked with a eyebrow cocking up over the rim of his sunglasses. "How much?" He grinned as the smallest, yet scrappiest of their cats, Rosetta, kept trying to pounce on Sunny's tail as the tonberry hung a strange wreath made of braided dandelions and twigs from the mouth of one of her new hovels. Seifer knew it was a tribute to Odin, whom the tonberrys worshipped as a god.

"At least a hundred thousand gil." Quistis wiped the back of her neck with a silk handkerchief given to her by Edea. It was far too hot to be wearing her full SeeD uniform, but it was kind of an official day.

"Who'd pay that much to watch us fuck?" Seifer wondered.

"Apparently a lot of people," Squall commented from where he barbequed chicken.

"You're sure you're not staying, Quisty? It's almost ready." Squall's prior comment referred to the other day when he and Seifer went through some of Seifer's fan mail that had piled up. Considering he did educational programming, there were a lot of naked photographs and pornographic letters. Seifer made light about saving the male ones to jerk off to later, or leaving them on Squall's pillow as a joke, but Squall didn't think it was so funny. It wasn't only his natural tendency towards jealousy where his boyfriend was concerned, but Seifer'd had problems recently with a man stalking him - following him home sometimes, always hanging around the zoo, 'accidentally' being anywhere that Seifer and Squall went on a date.

He'd stayed away, though, after Squall had cornered him in the farmer's market one day and very calmly and quietly threatened to kill him, saying if he didn't believe him, to do an internet search on Astor Wakefield. At first, Seifer's more than ardent fan had laughed it off, but then saw the seriousness in Squall's face. And Squall really had meant it. He'd brutalize anyone who tried to hurt Seifer.

"Nah. I have to go soon." She checked her phone again. Both men noticed she'd been doing this every ten minutes, but she just brushed off their questions with a "later." She rose to her feet and began smoothing out any potential wrinkles in her SeeD uniform. "And I don't think watching an execution on a full stomach is such a good idea, even if it is 'humane'. Whatever that means."

Xu's execution was happening in four hours, and Quistis had agreed to be one of the witnesses. Even though Squall hadn't officially gone back to Garden, he'd been offered a spot as well, which he'd promptly refused. Quistis didn't know why she'd agreed to it. Maybe because she didn't feel the same level of closure that Squall and Seifer felt where she was concerned. Maybe because Quistis wanted to see if there was any of her old friend still in Xu's eyes in the last moments of her life.

"If Jurgen shows up here, can you tell him to come to Garden to meet me afterwards? I texted him, but he's probably in transit." She picked up her purse. "Just so you know, the sex tape is still in a war with a picture of Squall passed out drunk as to which one would get more money from the tabloids."

"What if it was a drunk sex tape?" Squall asked, grinning at the rare joke he'd just made. "Double the money?"

"Maybe you could even wear the uniforms I brought you."

Squall's eyes widened dangerously as he stopped looking at the food on the grill to give Quistis a death glare. "And, they said they'd talk to you about a position on Tuesday." She laughed as the look on Squall's face got even more murderous. He could have just turned that look on Xu tonight, and they wouldn't even have to spend the money on an executioner. She waved over her shoulder, head thrown back in laughter, as she headed to the driveway and her car.

"What job interview?" Seifer asked, turning his head towards his lover. His expression looked blank, eyes hidden behind his sunglasses, but his voice held interest. "With Garden?"

"Maybe," Squall muttered, stabbing at the center of his hamburger to see how cooked it was. He did it with a little more violence than necessary, angry at Quistis and her big mouth.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Seifer asked, rising from the reclining patio chair he'd been lounging in. Squall disapproved of this, because while Seifer had been laying back, he'd been giving a rather nice view of his stomach because his shirt only had a couple of buttons done up.

"Because I knew you'd get that tone in your voice, and I don't know what's going to happen."

"What tone?"

"Happy. Proud. I don't know if I'm going back yet. I'll have to see how I feel... stepping back into that building."

"What kind of job?" Seifer asked, slipping his arms around Squall's waist from behind. He was wearing his grubby painting clothes, with jeans and a tee that were both too tight. The jeans made Squall's ass look so good that Seifer just wanted to bite into it. It also made him want to say fuck the food and just have sex right there on the back lawn.

"Linguistics."

Seifer purred, then chuckled as he gently bit into the nape of Squall's neck.

"You pervert. Instructor Braedley is retiring."

"Maybe I should go back to Garden. You could teach me how to master foreign tongues."

"How very original," Squall commented sarcastically, though the feeling of Seifer's voice vibrating against his back was causing his cock to come to life. "That sounds like an Irvine line."

Seifer laughed. "I _did_ save that naked photo of himself he sent me. It might have to start making an appearance again."

Squall shook his head and rolled his eyes, wishing with all of Hyne's powers that Seifer were joking. He'd unfortunately been the one to open _that_ particular fan letter, and the image had been burned into all his nightmares. Seifer had pointed out that Irvine did have a large penis, and kept teasingly trying to get Squall to look at the most inopportune of times, but there were some things Squall just did _not_ want to know.

"I just hope you'll go into the interview with an open mind, Kitten. Or, at least don't go in with the idea of yelling and berating everyone to the point of tears, okay?"

"But this is a place that sanctioned torturing you," Squall mumbled, focusing on the chicken rather than the man spooning him. If he looked at Seifer now, when his mind was flashing back to that tiny room of horrors in FH, he'd start crying.

"Xu did it. Not Garden."

"I wish I could reschedule until a while after the execution, but this is the only time they have." Squall didn't want to go into Garden so close after Xu's death, because he knew he'd probably feel some strange, ghostly kind of energy left behind by her, especially where she was being forcibly killed. Xu's ghost was not something that he wanted to encounter.

"I think you'd be a good teacher."

"Praising a teacher?" Squall asked with a cocked eyebrow, lolling his head back so he could rub his cheek against the side of Seifer's neck. "How unlike you." His mind wandered to the package Quistis had acquired for him, and he grinned.

"My delinquency wasn't always the teacher's fault." Seifer grinned. "I mean, nobody thought you'd be good with kids, either. But you're great with Vivi."

"I think it's just Vivi. He's the only one I don't want to duct tape their mouth shut."

Seifer pulled away as Squall bent to lower the propane output on the barbeque. "Anulia is sick again, I think. She hasn't mentioned anything, but she's not looking well, and she's been leaving for appointments." Seifer referred to Vivi's mother, who as a single mother, had to work double-shifts as a janitor at the zoo in order to afford to take care of her son. She'd had cancer in the past, and Seifer wondered with concern if it had come back.

"Vivi never mentioned anything."

"Maybe he doesn't want to. He knows what's happening. That kid is spooky intuitive. Maybe it will make it more 'real' if he acknowledges that something's wrong with her. I wonder..." Seifer stopped, perching his sunglasses on the top of his head. "You think she'd ask us to look after him?"

"Would you _want_ to?" Squall asked, taking the chicken breasts off the grill.

"We can't just send him to a foster home. I mean, Matron's was nice and she loved us, but... it wasn't the same as a home."

"That didn't answer my question," Squall pointed out, looking at Seifer gravely. "Love and obligation are not the same thing. If they were, I'd still be with Rinoa."

"Yeah. Yeah, I'd want to. You?"

Squall nodded. Inside, he kind of actually thought of Victor as his own, selfish thought that may be. The thoughts had cemented one night when Vivi was staying over because his mother was working overnight, and he'd woken up from an awful nightmare in which he'd been created in a factory, rather than born. In his distress and through the tears, he'd accidentally called Seifer 'Dad'. Seifer had been amazing in calming him, and it had made Squall see perhaps a different path that his life could take, something other than he expected. It also had made him miss his own father so much that he'd called Laguna, and happily listened to an entire nonsensical, meandering story about Laguna's on-again off-again relationship with Vanessa, and Squall hadn't interrupted once. Nor had he wanted to.

They looked at each other seriously for a moment, so deeply in that way that only they could look at each other. Seifer then shrugged a broad shoulder and gave a carefree, Almasy smirk. "Well, it's a moot point anyway. He still has a mother." The smile tightened around the edges, showing Squall just how sick Seifer thought Anulia actually was.

"So, what's with these outfits that Quisty brought over? We're not going to some lame dinner party again, are we? I mean, I like Zachary and Kaleon, but their theme-parties always just disintegrate into drama and itchy, uncomfortable clothes." Seifer rolled his eyes. "We should just make pasta and play cards." The thing that Seifer liked most about Zachary and Kaleon, in spite of the couple's horrible sense of party throwing, was that they were friends Squall made _all by himself_, meeting them at the Triple Triad club he'd joined that was populated almost exclusively by gay men. Seifer had never been so proud. It was like watching a baby take his first steps.

"No..." Squall trailed off, a little bit of mischief glimmering in his eyes.

Seifer opened his mouth to say some flip remark, but his mouth just split into a big, masculine grin instead. "So, uh... why are we still standing out here?"

"Food first." Squall stepped out of reach when Seifer grabbed for the front of his jeans.

"What?" Seifer asked, outraged. He continued to try and paw at Squall, but the shorter man would have none of it, and set out their supper on the patio table.

"There. I took a bite. Can we _please_ dress up and I can fuck you senseless now?"

Squall said nothing and slowly cut up his food and took a small bite, chewing it methodically. He could feel Seifer's impatience and ire wafting from the other side of the table. It made him grin. By the time he finished his chicken, Seifer was glowering and pretty infuriated. Of course, the anger did little to lessen his desire for Squall. In fact, it heightened it.

"I'll be back in a minute." Squall pointed his finger at the other man. "Stay."

"You fucking bastard. I should punch your lights out," Seifer muttered, crossing his arms. But he did as instructed. Hyne, Squall had him whipped. He craned his neck to see where his boyfriend had vanished to, but could only see his horny and impatient expression reflected in the sliding glass door Squall had just put in earlier that week. His mind started to wander to what Quistis could have brought. Probably something leather, knowing Squall. He hoped it wasn't something _too_ bondage. Squall loved being dominated and restrained, and it sometimes left Seifer uncomfortable because of the lovely confinement issues that Xu and Astor left him with.

Squall came back out casually and sat back down, slowly sipping his soda. "Upstairs, you'll find a dry cleaning back on the bed. Put on what's inside and meet me in your office." He took another drink and rose to his feet. "Wait fifteen minutes before coming downstairs."

Seifer tore upstairs, the new door rattling in the runners with his fervour. When he got to their bedroom and opened the bag, he had to laugh. He wasn't terribly surprised when he saw what was inside, though he appreciated Squall's sense of irony. Squall had reservations about going back and being a SeeD, but he seemed to have no qualms about using Garden's uniforms in sexual role-play.

Seifer took the uniform out of the bag, and saw that it was a cadet's uniform, rather than a full-fledged SeeD's. It felt very strange as Seifer removed his clothes and dressed in the simple navy outfit. He'd rarely worn his cadet uniform as a student, even when it had been required. The uniform fit fine, though it was a size or two too small and clung to his chest and thighs, which Seifer was sure Squall had requested. Once dressed, he looked at himself in the mirror. He felt transported back to his student days. The uniform still felt itchy and confining and full of conformity and blind duty. Seifer even took a comb and parted his hair, which had grown a little longer than he liked, and then smoothed it back. It made him look younger and more fresh-faced.

He waited the instructed fifteen minutes before slowly going downstairs, cadet boots clomping on the steps. Would Squall also be in cadet uniform? Seifer hoped so, because the outfit had always looked pretty adorable on him. Maybe they'd re-enact some of their infamous gunblade sparring sessions. The memory caused Seifer's genitals to jerk and his testicles, the real one and the silicone replacement he'd gotten six months earlier that just kind of blindly followed the action of the real one, to raise up towards his belly.

He found the office door closed, and decided to gently knock. "Come in," Squall's voice tersely commanded, no playfulness in his tone.

When Seifer opened the door, he found that his knick-knacks had been cleared away to make the desk look barren, cold and authoritative. Squall sat behind the desk, gloved hands folded neatly on a closed file-folder. Rather than wearing a cadet uniform, he work full SeeD regalia, and looked at Seifer with the cold remoteness all SeeD instructors had stared at him with. Even Quistis.

"Sit, cadet Almasy."

Seifer almost did so with quiet obedience, but the uniforms and Squall's demeanour really did feel like old times, so he acted accordingly. He flounced down in the chair with gusto and a 'fuck you' mentality. "What's up, Squall?"

"I am your superior, and you will refer to me as Commander Leonhart, or Sir."

"Sure. Sir," Seifer dragged out the honorific with pure scorn, just the way he always had. It had always made him sick to have to call the upper-echelon of SeeD 'Sir' even when they hadn't deserved the respect. He also didn't make a secret that his eyes swept over Squall's body, encased perfectly in his SeeD uniform. Hyne, he looked so fucking hot, it made Seifer's dick twitch. He remembered doing that to commanders and Instructors in his cadet years, and loving the way their cheeks would flush with embarrassment, distaste, or even barely contained desire in a couple of opportunities. But not Squall. He didn't even flinch.

"Stuff like this is why you're never going to be SeeD, Almasy. Are you even capable of following the simplest of instructions?" Squall asked, looking over his folded hands at Seifer. His eyes were a winter sea, just the way Seifer had always remembered. He'd spent _so_ much time to try and get Squall to show his real self while they'd been in school together. He'd known Squall was so much more that what he projected, and Seifer had wanted to see it, to bring it out. With violence if necessary. And it usually _had_ been necessary.

"The instructions _are_ simple. They're so simple they don't require any original thought."

"Sir?"

"Sir," Seifer dragged out. "Why should I follow instructors that will turn me into a faceless automaton. You need soldiers with actual brains out there."

"We need people to work as a team, Almasy. You're so selfish that you never see beyond your own delusional goals. You put everyone around you at risk for whatever pipe dream you live in that makes you think your actions don't affect the whole unit."

Seifer flinched, the ice in Squall's voice and eyes, coupled with the jab at his own past romantic notions, actually... hurt. And yet his desire for Squall was flaring to uncomfortable levels inside himself. "At least I use my brain, Leonhart. You have to be able to think on your feet in the field. If you hold their hands, the only thing they'll know how to do when a real crisis happens is cry home to their Instructors."

"You have a responsibility, cadet Almasy." Squall's voice actually almost sounded desperate there, and flash of emotion hinted underneath the frozen glaze of his eyes. The sexual tension between them snapped like rubber bands. "You have more skill than all the other cadets combined, and yet you show nothing but recklessness. You need to be an example for them, since they don't have your talent. And you waste that talent and intelligence on selfish designs of what? Some crappy old Sword and Sorcery movie from twenty years ago?"

"Fuck you, Squall." Seifer's eyes burned into Squall's, but his gaze kept moving across Squall's shoulders, and the way the cut of the SeeD jacket accentuated the narrow tapering of his waist.

"How dare you speak to a superior officer with such insubordination."

"Yeah, yeah. It's easy to be strong when you're sitting behind a desk." Seifer rolled his eyes. "You don't care what happens to those cadets, if they get hurt. There's more where they came from, right? Just raid the orphanages like Garden always does. No, SeeD only care about looking good and earning money for benefactors like high-class, militarized whores. They only care about the 'Yes, Instructors' and having their egos stroked and their dicks sucked."

Squall opened his mouth, but snapped it shut again with an audible click. "You're an insufferable asshole, cadet. I'd give you lines or detention, but would it even work? I could completely agree with everything you're saying, and you'd contradict it just because you need to argue everything."

"I argue for what's right."

"You argue for what's right _for you_." Squall threw up his hands. "And you're not even listening to me."

"That's not true. I listen to whatever you say. Most of it just makes me sick. You're better than this blind obedience."

"And being a Sorceress's Knight isn't about obedience? A Sorceress would cow you and make you do a lot more than clean out the fat traps in the cafeteria, or 'suck my dick' as you so eloquently put it. You want to be a kept pet? You want to be a private killer? You want to be a figurehead? You want to be less than nothing in a tyrant's eyes? You want to be another Krille? How about Dexterra?" Squall rose to his feet and counted names off on his gloved fingers. "What about Marlenne, or Penelo? Azabaashe?"

He stopped and leaned against the desk in front of Seifer, whose cheeks were now burning angrily, shamefully. He glared up at Squall, who stared down at him impassively, like a beautiful cold star that burned hotter than humanly imaginable, but was too far away for it to be nothing more than a remote, distant spec of light.

"And you should also know better than to sneak off at night to break Garden conduct codes. You are underage, and under Garden's care. And you're also abominably stupid if you think you can sneak out to engage in illicit sexual affairs with garage mechanics without anyone in Garden knowing," Squall pointed out calmly and blandly, as if he were talking about the weather instead of this sexual turn of conversation. "Saying that the SeeD are the ones that need our dicks sucked? Hypocrisy doesn't really suit you."

"What are you implying, Squall?"

"Sir?"

Seifer's eyes flickered down Squall's body again, lingering on his groin. He refused to call Squall 'Sir' again.

"You're not even going to try and follow orders?" Squall asked. "Maybe I should just recommend your expulsion?"

Seifer looked up and saw heat festering in Squall's eyes. The tension in the air was now hot and palpable. Squall's words were angry little barbs in the air, and Seifer just wanted to shut those words up by fucking the other man senseless.

"Maybe you can go back to your orphanage. Like a failure. But don't you _want_ to use all these talents to do some good?"

"What 'good'?" Seifer asked angrily. "Yeah, all that paid murdering and mercenary work really tugs at the heartstrings. So, write me the fuck up, Squall. Expel me. Give me detention. Whatever, as you love to say."

"Make you suck my dick?"

Seifer's brow furrowed. This role-playing was feeling so real, like they'd stepped back in time, that at times Seifer forgot that they were 'acting'. Seifer may be the one on television, but Squall was a far better actor than him. He'd been acting all his life, hiding his real self behind these cold, iron shields. Even now his performance was so convincing he was fooling his own lover.

"You seem to like doing it for random mechanics."

"Yeah. By choice, Leonhart."

"You seem to want it to be a choice, the way you're looking at me."

Seifer's eyes immediately roamed, and he cursed under his breath for being so obvious, even after being called out about it.

"Consider it detention. Or penance." Squall's eyes or voice didn't betray the lust raging in him. He grabbed Seifer's wrist and put it to his groin, where the erection hidden under the front flaps of his coat certainly betrayed it.

"Who says I want to?"

"Don't lie now," Squall said calmly, though he had to lean back against the desk because his legs were shaking under the weight of all the sexual tension and frustration in the air. "Not after you made such a grand production about being the last free-thinking man."

Seifer was already undoing the fastenings of Squall's trousers, feeling the hard, familiar heat against his fingertips. He parted Squall's jacket and lowered his pants and underwear. "Well, I did want you to show me you actually have a backbone and a personality. Too bad that personality is a domineering asshole who takes advantage of his students and subordinates."

Squall slowly took in his breath as Seifer's mouth covered him. Seifer never did things halfway, so he took most of Squall's erection in his mouth in one motion. Squall's erection filling his mouth better separated this little game from reality, but Seifer still sucked off the other man with a little bit of anger in his heart, too. Maybe he still carried more bitterness about his Garden days than he realized. His hand joined his mouth on Squall's cock, and worked it for all he was worth. He heard Squall quietly expel his breath, and as he pushed past his gag reflex to use his throat muscles to stimulate Squall's erection, he opened his eyes and looked up into Squall's, his free hand now in his pants and working his own erection.

Squall stared down at him, a war going on within his eyes. Seifer could see that he was struggling with maintaining this act, but _his_ Squall was lurking under the surface. The real Squall. The Squall that Seifer had always known was there, and had so desperately wanted to unleash. The one who was warm, compassionate, passionate and had his own definite opinions about things. Definitely not a faceless automaton. Seifer put all his cocksucking talents to use, which were considerable if he was being so bold, and tried to unleash that real Squall. Hyne, that had been his biggest goal as a teenager. And he'd won it. He'd seen that real Squall, and he'd never felt more honoured about anything in his entire life.

Squall bit his lip to keep from crying out. He was holding a last desperate thread trying to keep their little game going, but it was getting more difficult with Seifer sucking him off so expertly. He wanted to run his hands through Seifer's hair and across his face and the muscular chords of his neck, but he restrained himself with the last of his willpower, gripping the edges of Seifer's desk so hard the wood and his gloves both creaked. Why had he not seen the signs between him and Seifer way back then? Why had it taken so long?

Seifer always said they just weren't ready. Maybe they would have fucked and fizzled out, and Squall wouldn't experience the same pounding in his chest as he felt right now that only was partially because of the amazing blow job he was getting, and mostly because of how much he loved the man performing that fellatio. Maybe he would have run away because it was only in the last year or less that he'd even been able to admit to himself that he wasn't 'bisexual', and he never much thought about women anymore, except in some sort of passive 'noticing when a woman is pretty but not really desiring her' capacity.

Squall lolled his head on his shoulder and looked down at Seifer, who was still looking up at him, jerking himself off rapidly now, close to orgasm. It caused Squall's belly to tighten and his testicles to raise up against his pelvis. Just before he felt the waves of his own orgasm washed over him, he jerked his hips back so his dick came out of Seifer's mouth with a wet, audible pop. He gripped the base of his own cock and ejaculated on Seifer's face, painting him with thick, wet trails and splatters of semen. Some went up his nose and Seifer had to snort to avoid breathing it down as he came himself, semen splattering on the floor between his knees.

Squall couldn't help but chuckle as Seifer wiped it away, licking his fingers as he did so. "Shut it," the blond chided gently, pressing his forehead against Squall's thighs. Squall was still chuckling under his breath, thumb moving across the bridge of Seifer's nose where he'd missed a white smear. Seifer looked up as Squall brought his finger to his mouth and tasted his own spunk. He grinned and brought Squall's softening penis into his mouth and gave it one, long, slow suck before relinquishing it and rising to his feet. He cocked his head and enjoyed the disappointed little noise Squall made before he straightened the cadet uniform's jacket and did up the pants.

"That was... kinda weird," Seifer commented, fully rearranging himself. "I kept forgetting that it was a game."

"Mmm," Squall agreed distantly, mind started to wander deep within himself.

"It was fun and all, but I wouldn't want to do it very often. We were both kinda dicks to each other back then, and the tension may have been hot from our rivalry or whatever, but things are so much better the way they are now."

"Mmm." Squall continued to lean against the desk, suddenly lost in thought as he refastened his trousers. He also had forgotten that they weren't back in Garden, barely civil to each other while still being more closely connected than Squall had been with anyone. He thought of the old Seifer and Squall, and all the horrible things that had bridged the gap to the current Seifer and Squall. So much of it could have gone wrong. He thought of Anulia and how fragile life could be. He thought of Seifer always hanging around dangerous and/or poisonous animals.

He thought of Xu, maybe dying at that very instant. He thought of them, living.

"Hey," Seifer commented gently. "Where'd your mind go, Kitten?"

Squall slightly shook his head and came back to his own body. It surprised him that Seifer was leaning on a mop, and the floor was damp and clean where he'd scrubbed away the semen he'd emptied from his own testicle. He hadn't even noticed Seifer leaving the room or coming back. He looked up into Seifer's face, and felt a tight pull across his chest, akin to pain. He ripped off his gloves and shuffled forward and buried his face in Seifer's chest, arms tight around his waist. He just really, really wanted to hug Seifer right then.

"Whoa," Seifer whispered, pressing his face into Squall's hair, breath taken away by the fierceness of his lover's embrace. He tilted Squall's face up with two fingertips under the chin, and saw everything, every thought and feeling, in his eyes. Squall's head came back to rest against Seifer's shoulder, his hands moving up under the form-fitting navy cadet jacket. He pressed one hand flat against Seifer's back and the other flat against his chest, and felt him breathe, felt his heart beat. Felt him live. He counted out the beats abstractly in his head, like the ticks of a clock.

Lets go dancing, Squall murmured against Seifers chest.

But you _hate_ dancing. Hed finally gotten Squall to dance with him, but only in the privacy of their home. Whenever he got the urge to go clubbing, he always went with Irvine, which enraged Squall. But not to the point that hed actually consider fast-dancing in a place where people could watch him.

Seifer felt Squall breathing against him, quick and charged, much like the feeling of his jugular pulse under Seifer's fingertips. Squall's hands on him made his own heart start to beat faster, and he breathed in the smell of Squall's hair, which smelled like sex and leather and home and life. Seifer never felt more safe and alive than when he was in Squall's arms like this. "I love you, too," he whispered gently.

While Seifer had sat down across from Squall at his office desk, Quistis was sitting down as well. She lowered herself into a semi-comfortable chair, looking at a blackened window. She assumed the chairs were pretty cushy in case someone got faint at watching someone be executed. Again, she pulled out her phone, her fingers quickly skirting over the touch screen of her phone to check her inbox. Again. When she saw nothing new, she put it down on her thigh reluctantly. She had to resist the urge to check to see if she'd gotten any new messages in the two seconds it took to put her phone down.

Hyne, she wished she'd just stayed with Seifer and Squall instead of coming here. The waiting and staring at her own reflection in the darkened window to the execution room made this whole thing seem like a foolish idea. Instead she looked at her phone again, and hoped that Jurgen's train got in on time. Of course it would, though. Estharian trains were rarely late. She knew he hadn't exactly approved of her doing this, but he hadn't tried to stop her. He knew her well enough that it was useless. She'd go with or without any man's permission, and she would have come here just to spite him if he'd tried to forbid it in some silly male idea of 'protection'.

Luckily, Jurgen was more sensible than that. She thought of the way his silver eyes would warm up when he looked at her. People thought he was cold and almost robotic because of his stern Estharian soldier's demeanour, but she knew the heat beneath those eyes. She knew the strength of his arms and the wonder of his brain and the beauty of his body.

Maybe that was a thing she found attractive, because it was something Jurgen had in common with Squall. She sighed and checked her phone again, knowing full well there would be no new messages, but she couldn't help it. The message was pretty damned important.

Quistis looked away from her phone when she felt the presence of someone beside her. Nida lowered himself in the chair next to her, also decked out in full SeeD finery.

"Hey," he greeted calmly. It had been long enough that he'd gotten over never getting Quistis as his girlfriend. She was obviously happy with her new boyfriend, and he had a girl that he sometimes took out that he enjoyed seeing. However, things still were somewhat strained. They always would be, even after today. "Ready?"

Quistis smirked. "No. But..." She shrugged. There was no way to vocalize how she felt about watching her former best friend's death.

"You think it's petty of me to choose to sit right beside you where she'll see us right off, when they are a bunch of other empty chairs?"

Quistis's full mouth tugged up at the corners. "Just a little bit. But I think Hyne wouldn't disapprove."

"You look really good."

Quistis's brow furrowed, and her eyes looked troubled behind her glasses. "I don't feel really good."

"Maybe not, but you look it."

"Nida..."

"I don't mean it like that."

Quistis fell into silence, checking her phone again.

"You decided to come after all?" A voice asked behind them.

Quistis looked over her shoulder and saw Selphie sitting there. She seemed alone, but there was an aura of black, odd magic about her that led Quistis to think that Doomtrain was probably actually occupying the chair next to the pixie-like brunette, though the GF was making itself invisible.

"I'm surprised _you_ did," Nida commented to her.

"I'm not," was Quistis's reply. "I _am_ surprised by your hair, though."

Selphie patted her quite-short pixie cut. It was dramatic, but it suited her very well. "I guess Zell decided not to show up after all," she noted when she counted the people that had filed into the room.

"I can't fault him," Quistis said. "Hell, I shouldn't even be here."

"You have more right than any of us," Selphie said seriously. She and Quistis could carry on conversations now quite easily, and they'd even gone shoe shopping together with Rinoa, but she still didn't think Quistis would trust her with her life yet. Or maybe ever. She hadn't even spoken a single word to Squall in over a year. Because she was Selphie Tilmitt and she knew many things she wasn't supposed to, she knew about Squall's job interview to replace Instructor Braedley. While she did know a lot, she had no clue how to navigate Squall Leonhart's mind, and thus didn't know if he'd decide to come back. Selphie hoped so. She missed him. And she missed her silly schoolgirl crush on Sir Laguna.

The lights dimmed and came back on in a slow pattern, signalling that it was almost time. The lights came on in the room on the other side of the stark, dark window. Garden had decided to execute Xu by electric chair, and the contraption sat stoic and silent in the center of the room. Everyone grew tense and silent. One last time, Quistis checked her inbox, then put the phone away as Headmaster Alphard came into the room and inspected the chair and the activation switch.

Because Garden was a private institution, there would be no last-minute reprieves for the prisoner that was now being brought in, flanked by two large, heavily armed SeeD, her head shaved bald for the upcoming event. Quistis watched Xu's face carefully, the way her chin was held haughtily up in the air as she glared at the men guarding her. She seemed like a regal Queen entering her throne room, except all of Xu's swagger and bravado faltered when she laid eyes on the electric chair that would become the last place she'd ever sit. Her eyes flashed their whites, visible even from where the witnesses sat. Like a startled horse.

There were no ceremonies or speeches as Xu was led to the chair and none-too-gently put into it. She wore a simple jumpsuit of drab grey. She wouldn't even get to die in her SeeD ceremonials, having been officially stripped of all ranks, titles and privileges at her sentencing hearing. Quistis saw that Xu momentarily tried to struggle as the burly SeeD strapped her legs into the chair, but then seemed to think better of it. Instead, she straightened her back and stared straight ahead as they finished fastening her in. And, her eyes found Quistis.

Quistis felt proud of herself for not flinching away from the eye contact. Xu's glare could have stripped the stink off shit, but really... what did it matter? Quistis stared right back, trying to find hatred or any kind of hot feeling towards Xu, but she just felt sad. How did Xu have the strength in the last moments of her life to still look at Quistis with such venom?

The process of strapping Xu in seemed to take forever, but in actuality only took moments. Xu glared at Quistis and Nida, even as they pushed her head back and strapped it in place with a strap under her chin. Quistis slightly shook her head as they put the electrodes to Xu's shaved temples. Even then, she still glared at Quistis and Nida, as if they'd been lying to her for two years about having a relationship, and just decided to tell the truth today of all days.

Xu must have seen something on Quistis's face that made the whole thing real, because her anger slowly melted away. She suddenly looked like she'd been hit in the face with a hammer. That fear that had shook her upon entering the execution chamber was now back, and overrode any wrath Xu may have felt at being denied the Headmaster's seat. Quistis saw the fear in Xu's eyes that she herself had lived with while on the run in Centra. She'd lived with it before that, too. She'd lived with it when Garden became a prison more than the only home she'd had. She'd lived with it whenever she walked in a room and the conversation would awkwardly halt into pained silence. She'd lived with it while men catcalled her and propositioned her. She'd lived with it when she thought that she'd die in Centra, on the run. She'd lived with it when she'd thought Seifer had died in the Kashkabald. She'd lived with it when she thought, after everything had finally started to turn back around, that Eden and Ultimecia would kill her two best friends.

Quistis hoped that Xu was feeling it, now that she didn't have any more time to _live with it_. She wouldn't suffer fear and pain, the real kind that slowly gnaws at you like miniscule shards of broken glass. Quistis still felt it, whenever she looked at Selphie and Zell, and even sometimes Rinoa. Xu would never have that prolonged feeling of having your life ruined. It left Quistis without the real ability to feel sorry for Xu, but she still didn't feel any joy as she watched her former friend become completely immobilized with no way to escape the inevitable.

Quistis felt Nida's hand cover her own as the small room's door was opened and a man came in in street clothes with a hood obscuring his face. The person pulling the switch had been hired out, a civilian with no ties to Garden. It made it more impartial. Xu tried to move her head when she heard the executioner come in, but she couldn't do anything other than struggle feebly.

"Do you have any final words?" Headmaster Alphard asked, his face blank of any emotion.

Xu remained silent, eyes never wavering from Quistis's face. She didn't even seem to notice Nida anymore. Quistis stared right back. This kind of eye contact with Xu, at a moment like this, was difficult, but the blonde felt like she owed it to Xu to not look away. Eventually, Xu gave the slightest shakes of her head, and the hood was lowered over her face. At that moment, Quistis blindly squeezed Nida's hand. Alphard and the SeeD guards left the room, leaving only Xu and the executioner behind. A pin drop could have been heard in the agonizing, slow seconds that the room sat silent and still. Then the executioner flipped the switch, and they all saw Xu's body start to convulse. It seemed more horrifying to Quistis because she could only hear the rapid breathing of a few of the witnesses in their small room. Her own breath came out calm as Xu lurched against her restraints, fingers and toes dancing against the electrical charge.

Xu convulsed for what seemed like forever, her head finally lolling onto her chest when the executioner shut off the electrical current. Small wisps of smoke escaped from under the hood, and then Dr. Kadawaki appeared, checking Xu's pulse. When Xu was pronounced dead, the lights in the room were shut off, but none of the witnesses moved. Everyone sat in tense, strained silence for longer than it had taken to view the execution.

Quistis and Nida continued to squeeze hands as they heard SeeD behind them getting up to leave. "It only lasted a minute or two," Selphie said quietly and seriously, voice barely above a whisper but still sounding like a Behemoth's bellow. It seemed like nobody had spoken for hours.

"It seemed to go on forever," Nida said. He now seemed to realize that he was holding Quistis's hand, and slowly pulled his own away, resting it in his lap. Quistis barely noticed, still focused on the window that separated her and Xu. Instead of her former friend strapped into a death chair, she saw her own face, pale and stony.

"I listened to the recordings she had of Seifer too, Nida," Selphie said, rising to her feet. The faint whiff of oil and noxious gas wafted from her like perfume. "Compared to that? It wasn't nearly long enough."

"That doesn't make it even," Quistis said quietly as Selphie gently squeezed her shoulder before leaving.

"You okay?" Nida asked when they were the only two people left in the viewing room.

"No. I could have killed Xu myself. I had the chance, I had her alone. I couldn't do it. I guess having someone else do it doesn't make me desire it any more than I did then." She pulled out her phone to see if Jurgen had texted her, and remembered the message she was waiting for. She found a note in her inbox, and calmly went through the prompts of her voice mail, and listened to the message.

"You okay?"

"Mmm," Quistis murmured, slowly rising to her feet. The message had been recorded maybe a minute after Dr. Kadawaki had pronounced Xu dead. "I'll see you around. Jurgen's coming into town."

"Okay..." Nida trailed off, balling his hand into a fist. He still felt the warmth of Quistis's hand within his own, and it flared through his body, making his chest tight. Damn, he realized he'd maybe never be completely over Quistis Trepe. He may as well join the Trepies and wonder about what it would be like to actually be _hers_.

Quistis walked through Garden, distracted. Nobody really came up to speak to her because they knew where she'd come from. Some gave sympathetic nods, or tight smiles that looked more like grimaces. But Quistis paid them no attention. Their pity didn't really seem better than the ire they'd given her two years prior. She stepped out into the hot Balamb sun, and immediately saw Jurgen leaning against the lip of a fountain, standing in plain sight so he'd be easier for her to see. Not that she wouldn't notice him. He turned heads, and not just Quistis's own if she went by all the female cadets who were giving him appreciative one-overs and giggling behind their hands.

He looked lovely in loose linen slacks in a pale crme with a almost sheer short-sleeved shirt in the palest of robin's egg blue that made his eyes stand out even more. He also wore sandals and mirrored sunglasses perched in his hair. She refrained from getting a big stupid grin on her face and running into his arms. She did quicken her pace, though. When she reached Jurgen and kissed him on the mouth, she allowed a victorious little smirk over her shoulder to a pair of older cadets in one of her classes, who looked put out that the best looking man currently on the property was taken by one of their _teachers_.

"Done?"

She nodded silently, not really wanting to vocalize anything about Xu's execution now that she was in the sunlight. He took her hand and they walked down the long staircase to the outside entrance to the garage.

"You've really done it this time," Quistis said, leaning into him a little as they went into the echoing shade of the garage towards her car.

"What? I only gave out my phone number to a couple of the girls. I swear."

Quistis shook her head, fishing for her keys. She pressed the unlock button when she finally found them hidden under a tin of mints. "I hate when you joke. Because I sometimes think you're actually serious."

"You can't seriously be mad at me for being late?" He checked his watch after putting on his seatbelt, then showed her the face. "I was only thirty seconds late, and you came out after I did."

"You really think I'm that petty about punctuality?"

"Yes."

"Well, okay. Maybe I am, but that's not what I meant."

"What then?" He asked as they pulled onto the island highway, back towards town. They were heading to Quistis's place for the night, rather than meeting up with Seifer and Squall later. She wanted some definite private time with Jurgen, where her SeeD uniform would fall to the floor the second she got behind a closed door. It seemed even more important to be alone now

"You knocked me up, Mr. We-Don't-Need-A-Condom."

"Hey, you're supposed to be on the pill, so that's all on you. Wait what?"

She grinned, pleased that she caught him off-guard for once.

"A baby...?"

"That's usually what comes out in the end."

He was opening and closing his mouth like a fish, unable to form words in his surprise.

"I was waiting for a message from my doctor all day. I missed a couple periods, and... well, I told her to just give me a voice mail if she couldn't reach me, because I'd be unavailable." The timing seemed almost serendipitous to Quistis. Just as Xu exited the world, she found out about a new person eventually coming into it. "I totally figured that Rinoa and Raijin would have a baby first, since they're actually trying for one and you know would be good parents."

"A baby..." Jurgen whispered.

"Do you _want _a baby? Because I'm kinda excited."

"Yes," he answered almost immediately, though his face still had a dreamy, shocked quality to it.

"I hope it gets your eyes."

"Yours aren't too bad, either." Jurgen cocked his head and stared at her, examining her in a new light. He slowly reached across the car's console and rested his hand on her belly. There was nothing to feel yet, but he thought for certain he could feel _possibility_. "We should celebrate."

"Definitely. We could go to a nice dinner, or just go home and you could ravish me."

"I'm kind of partial to the second choice. So, where to?"

Quistis smiled a dazzling smile, her golden hair glinting in the sun. "Everything good happens when you move forward." She put her foot harder on the gas, and did just that.

**THE END **


End file.
